© M.G.

Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

MENTORSHIP IN JUNIOUR YOUTH

Study Outline
1. What is Mentoring?
2. Why is mentoring in important in junior youth ministry?
3. What are some of the biblical examples of Mentorship?
4. The mentoring Process.

A. Case studies
1. In a study at Andrews university in 2014 by Jiwan S. Moon entitled “Mentoring and Discipling
the Early Adolescents of the Kitchener Waterloo Seventh-day Adventist Church”
Problem
From 1951 to 2001, at the Kitchener-Waterloo Seventh-day Adventist Church, only one family from
the founding generation has its children and grandchildren attending and active in the church. Most
of the second and third generation members of the church who once attended, no longer practice
their inherited Adventist religious beliefs. As the church membership was aging, the church was dying
and membership continued to decrease, especially the number of young people. It was becoming
evident that the church needed intervention to prevent continuous loss of members. There was a
need for an intentional mentoring and discipleship program for young people in the church.
Method
The researcher introduced a four-year mentoring and discipleship program targeting children, teens
and young adults involving them in service, mission projects, church events, in the regular presence
of a mentor who, modeled the Christian identity, living Christ’s self-renouncing and self-sacrificing
love by teaching them Christian service for God and others.
Results
The overall retention rate of the young people of the church since the mentoring program began is
90%, and the retention rate of the young people who were involved and participated in four-year
intentional mentoring and discipleship program during their adolescence is 100%. These adolescents
are all attending the church faithfully and are actively serving in different ministries of the church.
Conclusion
The influence of a Christian mentor who teaches and exhibits true Christ-like character is essential in
an early adolescent’s faith development.
Mentoring and discipleship of early adolescents is necessary to keep young people in the church and
to help them become proactive in their Christian faith, living a life of self-renouncing and self-
sacrificing love, resulting in selfless Christian service.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

 2. Another study done by Ugochukwu Elems from Andrews University in 2014 entitled, “A
Mentoring Program for Equipping Youths as Leaders in the Rivers Conference, Nigeria”
Problem
Young people who constitute an overwhelming majority of the membership, feel neglected in the
leadership process of Rivers Conference of the Seventh-day Adventists, Nigeria. On the other hand,
the adults think that the young people lack the experience and skills needed to occupy positions of
leadership.
Method
The mentoring approach adopted for equipping the young people of Rivers Conference as leaders in
this project was a modification of Jesus’ model of leadership targeting mainly administrators, creating
awareness and training seminars as well as building mentor and mentee relationships for 2 years.
Conclusion
Mentoring is an effective strategy for equipping and integrating the young people. It will afford the
young people opportunity of gaining necessary skill and experience for leadership under the
supervision of the adults, thus allaying fear of failure of the young people owing to lack of experience.

B. What is Mentorship
Mentoring is an intentional relationship where one person encourages another to realize their
potential. The intention is positive and encouraging. Intentional mentoring involves one person
inviting another to be part of their life and the other person either accepts or rejects that invitation.
The relationship involves two people who interact with each other, one is a mentor; the other is a
mentee or mentoree, or protégé, or partner. It should be noted that, a mentor is not the same as a
coach, tutor, teacher, advisor, or friend; but S/he is one of these people who also takes a specific
interest in the development of another person.
Other Definitions of Mentor and Mentoring
Biehl (1996) defines mentoring simply as a lifelong relationship, in which a member helps a protege
reach his or her God-given potential”.
Robert Clinton refers Mentoring to the process in which a person with a serving, giving, encouraging
attitude (Mentor), sees the leadership potential in a still to be developed person and is able to
prompt or otherwise significantly influence that person along to the realization of his/her potential.
According to Krallmann (2002), A mentor in the Bible sense establishes a close relationship with a
protege and on that basis through fellowship, modeling, advice, encouragement, correction, practical
assistance and prayer, support and influences his understudy to gain a deeper comprehension of
divine truth, lead a godlier life and render more effective service to God.
Mallison (1998) defines Christian mentoring as a dynamic, intentional relationship of trust in which
one person enables another to maximize the grace of God in their life and service”.
A Biblical Definition
In searching for a biblical definition of mentoring, Mallison (1998) explains that Jesus’ command to
Peter “strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32) as the basis for a biblical definition, as Peter was
commissioned to do for his peers what Jesus did for him, enabling him to minister.
© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry
 C. Biblical Examples of Mentoring
The Hebrew word talmid (student or scholar) used in 1 Chronicles 25:8 conveys the idea of a mentor-
mentee relationship. It is derived from the verbs associated with learning and describes teacher-
student relationship. The students followed the rabbi (mentor) from place to place, learning to be like
their mentor. the relationship between a rabbi and a talmid happened in formal and informal
settings, so that the talmid would have the greatest possible opportunities to imitate the rabbi.
This idea informed the establishment of the school of the prophets as seen in the days of Samuel (1
Sam 19:19-24), Elijah (2 Kgs 2:4-7), Elisha (2 Kgs 9:1-3) and down the road to the New Testament era
when Paul (Acts 22:3) was mentored by Gamaliel (Todd, 1975).
In the Old Testament, God had commanded parents and elders of Israel to teach their children His
way (Deut 6:5-9). Some examples of mentoring relationship include; Jethro and Moses (Exodus 18:13-
27) Moses and Joshua, Naomi and Ruth (Ruth 1:16-17), school of prophets, Elijah and Elisha; Elijah
stopped by and extended a call to Elisha to become his mentee for the prophetic ministry (1 Kgs
19:19-21)
In the New Testament, Paul instructs Timothy, “The things which you have heard from me in the
presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” (2
Timothy 2:2). This is nothing but mentoring. Classical examples include; Jesus and His disciples,
Barnabas and Paul (Act 9:26-30) Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-4), Eunice and Lois (2 Timothy 1:5).

D. Mentoring Process
“It takes leaders to make more leaders. The job of the leader isn’t just to enlist more followers but to
recruit and equip more and better leaders” (Malphurs & Mancini, 2004)
According to Maxwell, true success is to lift other people higher, not the upward mobility approach of
the world. Mentoring focuses on lifting other people higher.
In a Christian context mentoring is about assisting other people to develop their God-given potentials
and/or learning of new leadership skills (Simon, 2001) Moreover, it also benefits the mentors while
affording their mentees the opportunity to attain their optimal potential (Maxwell, 2008).
Any good Christian leader must constantly ponder the future prospect of the gospel ministry in the
event of his or her absence. Jesus understood that He had a limited time (John 9:4; 16:16; 14:1-3);
therefore, He called the Twelve to Himself and equipped them for the ministry, so that even in His
absence, the ministry of the gospel would continue to grow (John 15:15-16; 17:20; Matt 28:18-20).
Early adolescents who are going through changes and transitions are often confused and discouraged
and need someone who can help them make sense out of a rapidly changing world. As early
adolescents go through changes, those changes can bring discouragements and disappointments, but
true acceptance can relieve them from a sense of defeat and devastation.
Early adolescent mentoring begins by accepting adolescents as they are. Feldmeier (2007) suggested
that “perhaps the most important ministerial posture an adult can bring to a teen is acceptance” as
teens most respect and want to emulate adults who respect them and who make them feel special
and valuable.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

The purpose of mentoring is to connect generations, the older to the younger, involving a passing on
of values, beliefs, encouragement and wisdom. Mentoring is for all ages and in all kinds of people.
1. Foundational Principles of mentoring
i. Mentoring is a natural aspect of healthy church.
Mentoring occurs naturally in all healthy communities. We all have people who are important to us
and we each are important to someone else. Mentoring is for all of us.
ii. Mentoring cannot be forced, only invited.
One of the greatest dangers in organizing a mentoring program is imposed relationships. It is for this
reason why when two people have been randomly attached without personal choice often leads to
negative outcome. Research tells us that our own perception of the importance of a person
determines his or her significance in our lives. We may interact with others every day, but not
everyone is important to us. Personal interest and close proximity can create a significant
relationship, which is the root of mentoring. Therefore, a mentoring relationship should not be
forced, it must only be invited.
Mentors should volunteer and have a right to accept an invitation or not. This is because a forced
relationship has a much greater potential to be misused, neglected, resented or to even become
abusive.
iii. Short term formal mentoring relationships lead to long term natural relationships.
The principle is that by offering organized, structured short term and respectful mentoring
experiences, more long-term relationships will be encouraged. Acknowledging and appreciating past
mentors encourages the potential for new mentors.
iv. Accountability.
Mentoring must involve accountability. A mentor who is not accountable becomes an abuser.
Someone who makes a pretense of having the best interest of another as a priority but then acts in a
way that contradicts that intention is at best useless and worst harmful to the mentor partner.
In cases where junior youth mentors exist, they should have also a mentor or supervisor who is
interest in the outcome of the mentoring relationship between the pathfinders.

2. Connectedness.
The world is changing rapidly and so are the dynamics of families due to post modernism. The
changes in the family such as busy parent schedules at work and at church have left children with no
safe environment and forced to become more independent. The teenagers are separated and are
increasingly isolated from the adult world. They have a very little opportunity for dialogue and
collaboration required for them to learn adult values.
The junior youths are in crisis, a study of tobacco use among students aged between 13-15 years in
43 countries found out that; 33% had at least a puff of cigarette, 18% currently use any tobacco
product, 13% smoke cigarettes, and 24% of these had taken their first cigarette at the age of ten.
In another study by United Nations population fund in 2006, it was found out that most youths
become sexually active during their teen years. 14million girls from 15-19 give birth each year, which
is the leading cause of death for young girls. Over 80million girls between 10 and 17 will marry before
their 18th birthday, disrupting their education and limiting their opportunities.
© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry
Sex education and sensitization alone is not enough, it was found out that 1 in 5 of teens said that the
last time they had sex they were drunk, rates of sexual experience ranged from 38% to 14% among
teens and 82% of sexually experienced teens used condoms or birth control pills.
Another shocking crisis are television and computers. Our young people are spending more time in
front of a screen than at church and school combined. In developed countries, among 11–14-year-
olds, three quarters have a television in their bedroom. Two thirds have their own DVD players, one
third have a computer in their bedroom. Two thirds use internet, play video games, watch movies
and pornography in their rooms.
Remember, the youths have had plenty of education yet still in crisis, this illustrates an important
point: Education alone as a strategy for preventing harmful behavior is generally ineffective, it does
not work.
What works is resilience. Resilience is the capacity to maintain competent functioning in spite of
adversity or life stressors. It cannot be ‘taught’, but rather seems to be ‘imparted’ to a young person
as a result of multiple factors. The most significant of these factors is the sense of ‘connectedness’ or
‘belonging’ within their world.
“We don’t teach a kid how to become resilient. We surround them with social support or a loving
and caring environment, we learn their names and greet them personally taking a few moments to
talk one on one, and we develop enduring relationships with them.
We each have people who have influenced who we are. The Impacters in our lives are those who
come to us for a short period of time and change us. Shapers are those who had long term influence
that has developed character in our lives.
Impacters can be negative or positive. A person who has been sexually assaulted by a stranger, for
instance – could consider the abuser as a negative impacter. A positive impacter might be a camp
counsellor, a motivational speaker, a visiting preacher, a movie, an experience – anything that
happened and triggered a life change.
Shapers are also both negative and positive. An abusive parent, a condescending teacher or a school
bully could all be considered negative shapers. Positive shapers are those people who have loved and
believed in us over a long term in our lives. They could be parents, friends, relatives, coaches,
teachers.
It is the shapers who often have the greatest influence in who we are. Those positive shapers in our
lives are the mentors who deserve recognition and appreciation. They are often the ones we neglect
to acknowledge.
The people whom we value (shapers or impacters) determine how we view ourselves. If the
significant people in our lives criticize, ignore or abuse us – if they tell us through words and actions
that we are of little value, then we are likely to believe that. However, if those people believe in us,
see the best in us, love and value us – then we will tend to view ourselves in the same way.
Significant people in our lives shape our perception of who we are and what we can become.
We do not always ‘choose’ the significant people in our lives such as parents and family members but
we can choose mentors, who will have a positive influence, help us develop self-respect &
confidence.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

Because our self-image is based on those people around us whom we value, there are some
interesting implications for mentoring.

 “The people we value might not be the people who value us”
If you want to be a mentor to someone, you will value them. However, they might not see you as
someone important in their life. As a mentor partner, you might desire someone to be a mentor to
you – you value them. However they may not choose to take an interest in you. This is natural and
good. We cannot ‘force’ connections with people – we can only invite it.

 “The people we value might not know we value them”

The next aspect to this equation is that as an adult who might be willing to be a mentor – you don’t
know for sure which young person considers you as important to them. In fact, the young person
themself doesn’t always know until later who made a strong impression on his/her life. As a young
person, this means that it’s important to let people know when they mean something to you. As a
potential mentor it means that you just don’t know who might really benefit from that kind word,
recognition or positive attention that you could give.

 “The people that value us might not be important to us”

This is the reality that mentors need to be aware of. Just because a mentor is interested in a young
person, is willing to spend time with him/her and be a positive influence in their life, doesn’t mean
that the young person will accept or value them as a mentor. Mentoring is something that cannot be
forced, planned or engineered.
To recognise a person, learn their name, get to know them and believe in them can be life changing.

3. GOALS of Junior Youth Mentoring

The primary goal of the mentor is to help Children and Teens experience their developmental needs
by making them feel:
 A sense of achievement
 A sense of responsibility
 A sense of respect for authority
 A sense of acceptance in adult leadership circles
 A sense of confidence in the development of life skills

4. Major Types of Mentoring

i. Informal Mentoring
An older person takes an interest in the life of an adolescent or youth without being formally invited
by the younger person. This is the most common mentoring, one that most of us do naturally. Most
of us will remember people who were interested in us from childhood who could also be termed,
‘informal mentoring’. Notice that informal mentoring is low in formal acknowledgement, although it
could be either long or short term. In real life, this is the mentor who is in our lives and taking an
interest in us, but we may not acknowledge it as formal ‘mentoring’.
Invitation - Mentor: I’m interested in you
Response - Partner: I recognise you as a positive person in my life
© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry
 ii. Invitational Mentoring
Partner and mentor engage in a formal mentoring relationship. This type of mentoring relationship is
one where the mentor partner asks a person to be a mentor. Since there is a formal, acknowledged
invitation, this type of mentoring remains at the top of the graph. It could either be long or short
term.
Invitation - Partner: I would like you to be a mentor in my life
Response - Mentor: I will commit to being involved as a mentor in your life
iii. Situational Mentoring
Mentor and partner are involved together in an activity for a determined period of time. This is the
kind of short-term mentoring relationship that happens often at school, or at a camp, or sometimes
in a sporting club. The relationship only lasts for a short period of time, and it may or may not be
formally acknowledged. In this type of mentoring, the mentor is offering to be a positive influence in
the life of the younger person. That invitation may or may not be accepted.
Invitation - Mentor: I’ll show an interest in you
Response - Partner: I may or may not acknowledge you as a mentor at this time

iv. Life Mentoring

Partner and mentor develop an ongoing relationship leading to a more equally balanced friendship.
In this situation, the mentoring relationship has evolved over a period of time so that the relationship
turns more and more into friendship and becomes more ‘equal’ with time.
Invitation - Partner: I will continue to value you as a mentor in my life
Response - Mentor: I will allow our mentoring relationship to develop into a friendship
In this model, a mentoring relationship can progress from one type of mentoring to another. Informal
or Situational mentoring could develop into an invitational mentoring relationship. In that situation, a
relationship will have already begun – and then the mentor partner would have asked the mentor to
formally be a mentor. Mentoring can also continue to develop into life mentoring. What may have
started as a young person and an adult mentor might finish years later as adult friends in a lifelong
mentoring relationship.
v. Peer Mentoring
This is a completely equal mentoring relationship. It is more than a friendship because the two
parties (partners) agree to ‘intentionally’ (remember the definition) support each other in order to
develop their full potential. They will hold each other accountable, support and encourage each
other.

5. Benefits
i. Mentoring Instils Positive Values
Mentoring is an intentional passing on of values. Values refer to – “The worth of the thing, something
regarded as desirable or worthy. Having a specific worth.” (Webster’s Dictionary)

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

Mentoring can help adolescents learn values from another adult’s perspective. The partner chooses
the mentor because they are attracted to the character/values of that person.
Values are caught not taught; we learn through example - They get a chance to see values in action.

ii. Mentoring Develops Individual Potential

Recognising potential creates awareness in the partner. A mentor may recognise positive attributes
that parents and close family members may discount or not even notice
Another adult can give a new focus or new possibilities in thinking by recognising gifts and talents and
suggesting opportunities for growth.
iii. Mentoring Improves Self Confidence
The mentor looks at Peter like he's a big guy, so Peter feels like a big guy when he's around the
mentor.
Mentors are there to build on the positives of their partner’s personality and talents. Our self-
concept is based on how we think the people who we value perceive us. Self-esteem is given to us by
others. Mentors can capitalise on this to intentionally build up adolescent’s self-image.
iv. Mentoring Provides Opportunities for ‘Sorting Out’ Life Issues
The fundamental role of a mentor is to be a listener. With a listening mentor, a partner can find the
benefit of another adult perspective outside of the family context. A partner will share information
with his mentor that he doesn't feel as comfortable talking to his parents about.
There are circumstances where youth need people who can be objective, choose to be positive and
can offer an alternative perspective. Sorting is different to “giving advice.” An advice giver may listen,
but then ‘tells’ the speaker what to do, thus taking away the chance for the person to learn to work
out his/her own life choices.
v. Mentoring Shows a Model of Service to Others
Mentoring is a servant role. Partners are encouraged to serve others because they see us serve.
When people know that you care about them and they see events happening in your life that are
productive and positive, they may aspire to become involved in similar projects.
The act of mentoring itself is a model of serving another person. So, by serving, the mentor
encourages the partner to serve others. Thus, mentoring makes mentors.
vi. Mentoring Decreases Self-Centredness
A core cause for world problems is the self-gratification/selfishness that permeates our culture.
Increasing consumerism means: “Get everything you can, Can everything you get , And sit on the lid.”
Survival of Society depends on cooperation and a decrease of selfishness. As you build self-esteem in
your partner through mentoring you decrease the need for self-gratification/selfishness.
When a mentor deliberately gives their partner quality time the adolescent doesn’t need to work to
get that attention anymore. This gives them confidence in themselves to reach out and share their
talents and abilities with others.
vii. Mentoring Brings Accountability

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

When mentors provide the right atmosphere, their partners will begin to allow and even invite their
mentors to hold them accountable for some area(s) in their life. This is something a mentor offers but
doesn’t force. The mentor may challenge a partner about personal goals, habits or areas of self-
discipline. With accountability comes a sense of security. The mentor builds enough within the
relationship so the partner can be open and honest. The partner then knows that the mentor will still
accept him/her as a person regardless of their behaviour.
viii. Mentoring Develops Resilience
Resilience is the ability to do well even when things are not going well. In one particular study it was
found that “… resilient youngsters all had at least one person in their lives that accepted them
unconditionally, regardless of temperamental idiosyncrasies, physical attractiveness, or intelligence”
(Brooks, R, 1994). Children at risk: fostering resilience and hope)
6. Qualities
“A Mentor is a person who guides a less experienced person, by building their trust and modelling
good behaviour.” To be a Mentor is a position of Honour, Trust & Responsibility. The Most effective
Mentors lead by example and teach with understanding, compassion, dedication and love.
i. Commitment
" Every young person needs at least one adult who is irrationally committed to their well-being.
Millions of children grow up virtually alone - disconnected from adults. No love. No supervision. No
positive role models. Yet these people must still find their way - they still grow up to become adults.
Children can endure the most miserable conditions - even thrive in the midst of them - if they have at
least one loving adult committed to their success.” (Wayne Rice)
ii. Believe in the Mentor Partner
Mentoring means liking them regardless of what they do. (Unconditional Positive Regard)
Unconditional Positive Regard is a term is used in counseling to denote that the mentor has a
positive regard for a person without conditions. There should be nothing that a person could do to
make a mentor dislike them. The mentor partner might make mistakes, poor decisions, or do ‘bad’
things, but the job of a mentor is to like their mentor partner, encourage and support them.
Realize that unconditional positive regard does not mean accepting poor decisions or bad behaviour
as being good, but rather confronting them in love and challenging them to consider the values and
consequences of their decisions.
Be very careful not to ‘judge’ your mentor partner. Their decisions may sadden or disappoint you. Let
them know that if it happens. But the only way a mentor can truly teach a person is to allow them to
decide for themselves, to set values and goals for themselves that they want to achieve and then to
support them in their journey.
If in doubt, encourage and affirm. If your mentor partner has made a mistake or a bad decision,
affirm them for the other right decisions they have made. Realize that your mentor partner will tend
to remember one negative word more than hundreds of positive words. Leave no doubt about your
belief and confidence that your partner is a worthwhile person who has you as a constant supporter.
iii. Be Prepared to Give Time

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

An effective mentor must be prepared to give of themselves and their time. True giving comes from
the heart, it is not something that can be forced or faked.
Giving physical gifts is not always appropriate. Effective mentors do not need to purchase loyalty.
Your time is your greatest gift.
A mentor makes him/herself available to the mentor partner. To be available is to be accessible. The
initiation of contact is on the mentor partner, but it is the responsibility of the mentor to invite that
contact and respond positively to it.
An Effective Mentor does not Give Up Easily. Mentoring, however, is not something that can be
rushed. It is an ongoing relationship that cannot be forced or pressured if it is to develop effectively.
It is a process that requires great perseverance as you take the time to earn trust and willingly wait
for growth to occur. Mentoring is not a destination but a journey.
iv. Be Prepared to Be Real
Mentors open their own world to create a safe environment for openness and honesty. A Mentor
must be Prepared to Share Themselves.
It is not enough to simply listen and observe the life of the one being mentored. Mentors must be
prepared to allow access into their own lives. As mentors share their own world, they show trust and
create an atmosphere of openness and honesty. The mentor and the one being mentored then
become partners in a journey of discovery.
However, mentors must know what appropriate disclosure is. There are certain areas of their private
lives that should not be discussed, and some that should remain private until/unless the partner
genuinely asks. It is a difficult balance to remain open and transparent, but not make mentoring all
about you! Admitting where we struggle doesn't diminish our effectiveness; it enhances it
v. Effective Mentors Listen
We can’t emphasize this enough. Listening is the single best thing a mentor can offer a partner. To
have someone who will listen, be interested, strive to understand and focus full attention on you is
one of life’s greatest gifts and best luxuries.
vi. Confidentiality
As a mentor, you are expected to remain confidential in your dealings with your mentor partner.
Anything that a person says while you are acting as a mentor should be confidential.
However, there are some things that you must report, even if you’ve already promised that you
wouldn’t say anything. Basically, you should report anytime a person’s life is in danger or when a
child is being abused.
Remember that confidentiality includes both direct and indirect written or verbal reports. It also
includes disclosing confidential information to your own friends or family.
vii. Respect Their Agenda
The agenda belongs to the partner, not the mentor. Many of us want to be mentors because we want
to give advice or fix up another person. But people don’t change when they are forced or
manipulated. They change when they choose to change.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

This can only happen within a relationship of trust and respect. Listening for THEIR agenda, not your
own is one of the best things you can offer your mentor partner. This relationship is about building
the partner, not about your own needs.
viii. An Effective Mentor Models Strong Character.
Character is what is left after the fire. In other words, it's the proof of who you really are as revealed
after being rested and refined by life's experiences, in good and bad times.
It is vital for an effective mentor to demonstrate all the qualities they wish their partner to emulate,
such as honesty, authenticity, integrity, strength, compassion, humility, etc...
The old saying is that ‘actions speak louder than words. This is as true in mentoring as in every other
area of life. A mentor can’t teach things that they are not living.

ix. Seek Humility

Humility is a core quality of a good mentor. Pride is the core of all sin, and it’s opposite trait, humility
seems to be a difficult character trait to attain. The fact is that when you consider yourself a humble
person, it probably means that you’re bragging having humility, which means that you don’t!
CS Lewis said, "If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed." So
humility can be a hard term to speak about, but it is a wonderful trait to aspire to.
Rather than weakness, humility at its core is strength, power, and courage -all kept in control and
balance, and used for the benefit of others, not for personal gain and advancement
Of all the positive character traits, humility is especially important in mentoring. Without humility it is
difficult to be challenged and accept change. A mentor who can model humility is not only building
character, but also helping the mentoring process by encouraging both partners to be listening and
open to change.
David Stoddard says in his book The Heart of Mentoring, “You can’t teach above what you live!
Humility is a quality that is more caught than taught”. “…If we do that, we’re going to get run over,
taken advantage of," people often reply. They think humility runs counter to being competitive,
assertive, determined to accomplish an objective, and other traits typically associated with success in
our free-market society.
x. Guide the Search for Direction
Mentors can pass on great amounts of information, which is often quickly forgotten, but it is their
passion that is remembered. An important achievement in a mentoring relationship is to assist their
partner in discovering their own passions and goals. These two terms, when understood and
explored, can help a mentor partner find direction in their life.
Passion: At some stage most of us become dissatisfied with the work we do and search to find a
deeper sense of meaning and fulfilment. A mentor can help by listening, learning who we are, what
we are good at, and what we love – and reflecting that back. It is good to ask: “If you lived in a perfect
world, and money was not an issue, what would you really love to give your life to?”
Values: We all have the same amount of time in life, yet we all use it just a little differently. How we
use our time reflects the things we consider important in life. Our priorities reflect our values.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

Sometimes those two things (priorities and values) don’t match up; when that is the case our lives
become ineffective, frustrating – even boring. PASSION + VALUES = GOALS
xi. Point to Support
The role of the mentor is to be ‘a’ support, but not ‘the’ support for a mentor partner. It is important
to keep the mentor partner focussed on building a network of support. This can be difficult when
human nature tends to like the idea of us being ‘the only one’ a partner can relate to.
An effective mentor does not undermine parental authority. Regardless of their personal opinion of
parental actions, it is not appropriate to undermine what a parent or guardian has set in place.
Mentors must be supportive of parents as much as possible.
Become the parents’ closest ally, rather than a competitor for the young person’s affections. It is
always good to know the parents in order to know your mentor partner better. It is important to
obtain parental permission when planning projects or events for young people.
Realise that even though keeping touch with parents is important, a mentor outside of the
immediate family is still needed for young people. There’s need for parents to have a significant other
adult who will guide their teenager when he/she will no longer listen to mum and dad’s instructions.
A mentor must guard against the kind of hidden jealousy that stops us from encouraging our mentor
partners to talk with and value other mentors in their lives. The other mentors may deal with other
life areas – and occasionally they will have someone who talks to them about the same thing as you.
Encourage connections with many people. You can’t be the only one.
xii. An Effective Mentor Keeps Their Promises.
Unfortunately, too many young people have had incidents with adults who are inconsistent in their
words and actions. It is important for you, as their mentor, to demonstrate that your words will
become a reality. Before you agree to be a mentor, carefully consider the commitment you are
making. Are you really willing to be available to another person in this capacity? When you consider
your schedule, do you really have enough time to offer? It is better to say no in the first place than to
create an expectation that you are not prepared to meet.
If you agree to meet your mentor partner and you don’t show up – or you arrive late, you are sending
a strong message to your mentor partner about their importance in your life. You have agreed to
make them a priority in your life, but if you miss an appointment or turn up late, you are letting them
know that your words were empty promises. Don’t let that happen.
xiii. Leave a Legacy
The ultimate goal of mentoring is reproduction: seeing the people we mentor begin to reproduce
themselves by mentoring others. As we invest in our mentoring partners, they learn how to invest in
others as well. In that way, the impact we have on our mentoring partners starts to multiply. Over
time, that impact can grow exponentially, touching the lives of more people than we could ever
imagine.
Your legacy is the lasting, enduring impact that your life will have long after the black type in your
obituary has faded. There is no more effective or more gratifying way for anyone to build a lasting
legacy than through mentoring.
xiv. You will Need a Mentor

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry

Every Mentor Needs a Mentor. It is important for each mentor to have their own coach to whom
they are accountable. This is a safety mechanism to protect both the mentor and the partner.
Accountability will help the mentor be aware of potential dangers to the mentor and the mentoring
relationship. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Mentors are not required to know everything.
It is always wise to get to know a professional that you can call on in any crisis situation. Along with
that, find an experienced mentor who will remain confidential and provide you with accountability in
your role. This is especially true if your mentor partner is of the opposite gender. Ensure that you
have an opposite gender mentor/coach to guide you in helping your partner
xv. Be Accountable
A mentor is accountable for an appropriate and positive relationship with the mentor partner. The
acceptance of the role of mentor includes an acceptance of responsibility toward the mentor partner.
Boundaries: Occasionally a mentor partner may fall into a pattern of ‘dependence’ upon a mentor.
The danger is that dependence can at first seem attractive to the mentor as well. Phrases like, ‘you
are the only one I can trust’, ‘I don’t know what I would do without you’ are nice for a mentor to
hear. However, phrases like this should carry a warning for a mentor to check what is happening in
the relationship. To allow a person to be dependent upon you is dangerous for your mentoring
relationship and dangerous to your mentor partner as an individual. If you or someone near you gets
the sense that the relationship seems to be going in a poor direction, consult with your supervisor or
a professional confidant immediately.
xvi. Finish Gracefully
Mentoring most often takes place at various times in a person’s development and for various
reasons. Life is like that. There are seasons for all of life – end of school, marriage, moving away, new
job, overcoming a crisis, etc. Part of our duty is to release them to move on to the next stage in their
life when they need to. This is normal and should be expected.
However, this change often produces a sense of guilt or loss in the relationship, especially if the
meetings just end, or gradually become less frequent without discussion as to what is happening.
It is a wise idea to schedule a time period for the mentoring relationship and to review the
relationship at the end of it. If there is a continued need for the relationship, keep it going. If either of
your situations has changed and there isn’t a need for the same type of relationship, let it end
thankfully. If possible, remain open to contact as needed in the future. Allow the relationship to end;
Graciously: Let them know that this moving on is very acceptable, natural and healthy. Realise this
may only be a chapter ending not a book ending.
Thankfully: The process of going back and reviewing what you have achieved together. Recap
memories that you have created together. Verbalise what you have appreciated. Affirm them as a
partner. Challenge them to be a mentor to someone else. Be grateful for the time you had together.

References
David Stoddart, The Heart of Mentoring, Colorado Springs, Colorado: Navpress, 2003, 151.
Maxwell, J. (2008). Mentoring 101: What every leader needs to know. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.
Simon, H. A. (2001). Mentoring: A tool for ministry. Saint Louis, MO: Concordia.
© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry
Todd, H. G. (1975). Disciple. In C. F. Pfeiffer, H. F. Vos, & J. Rea (Eds.), Wycliffe Bible enclopedia (Vol. 1,
pp. 458). Chicago, IL: Moody Press
Elems, Ugochukwu, "A Mentoring Program for Equipping Youths as Leaders in the Rivers Conference,
Nigeria" (2014). Project Documents. 492. https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dmin/492
Moon, Jiwan S. (2014)., "Mentoring and Discipling the Early Adolescents of the Kitchener-Waterloo
Seventh day Adventist Church" Dissertation Projects. 87.
https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dmin/87
Biehl, Bobb. (1996). Mentoring: Confidence in finding a mentor and becoming one. Nashville, TN:
Broadman & Holman.
Krallmann, Gunter. (2002). Mentoring for mission: A handbook on leadership principles exemplified by
Jesus Christ (2nd ed.). Waynesburo, GA: Gabriel Pub.
Mallison, John. (1998). Mentoring to develop disciples and leaders. Melbourne: Scripture Union.

© M.G. Namugera Joseph Wise #Mentoring in Junior Youth Ministry