Asher Kramerberry

Creative Writing B
6/9/2022
4.05 Graded Assignment: Play Script
The Racoon Man Trial
Characters:
Jimmy Sam
Bread Buyer
Joey Flep
The Judge
Raccoon Man
Tammy
Sue
Scene Begins
[SCENE OPENS TO A COURTROOM
WITH ALL CHARACTERS ON BENCHES]

[JUDGE ENTERS STAGE RIGHT AND

STANDS AT PODIUM]

Judge: All rise.

[EVERYONE STANDS]

Judge: Please come to order.

[JUDGE BANGS GAVEL]

Judge: Court is now in session.

[EVERYONE SITS]

Judge: Who represents the plaintiff,

Joey Flep?

Sue: I do, your Honor

Judge: Who represents the

defendant, Raccoon Man?

Tammy: I do, your Honor

Judge: People of the jury, the

defendant, Raccoon Man, is charged
 with three counts of robbery and 36
violations of ORS 609.205:
Prohibitions against keeping of wild
or exotic animals. Raccoon Man is
accused of stealing three dozen
bagels for thirty six of his illegally
obtained and kept racoons.
The defendant, Raccoon Man,
pleads not guilty.
Sue, you may call to the stand your
first witness.

Sue: Your honor, prosecution calls to

the stand first witness Jimmy Sam.

[JIMMY SAM RISES AND COMES TO

STAND BEHIND THE STAND]

[JUDGE RAISES RIGHT HAND]

Judge: Please raise your right hand.

[JIMMY SAM RAISES RIGHT HAND]

Judge: Do you solemnly swear to tell

the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth so help you
god?

Jimmy Sam: I do

Sue: What is your name?

Jimmy Sam: Jimmy Sam.

Sue: And where were you on the

morning of the robbery?

Jimmy Sam: I was behind the

counter, at the bagel shop, like I am
every Monday morning

Sue: Can you describe the moments

leading up to the robbery?
Jimmy Sam: Yes. I was preparing a
bag of our famous everything bagels
for a customer when a man with a
hood entered the store.

Sue: And then what happened?

Jimmy Sam: Well, I didn’t think much

of him at first, but I could’ve sworn I
saw a pair of little black paws reach
out from underneath his hoodie and
grab a bagel from a cooling rack. I
can’t be sure, as I was speaking to a
customer as it happened, but I am
pretty positive that I saw that
happen. From then on, I tried to
keep track of him from out of the
corner of my eye. I mean, It could’ve
just been a bagel flour hallucination,
but that jacket was plenty clumpy.
He could’ve hid anything under
there.

Sue: At what point did you become

aware that a robbery was taking
place?

Jimmy Sam: Well, after a while I was

beginning to get really suspicious. I
mean, I don’t want to go around
making assumptions, but this guy
was weird from the get go. He was
just standing there in this huge
trench coat, hood up, and walking
back and forth in front of the poppy
seed bagels for like, an hour. And he
kept making these strange rustling
noises too. I think he was scaring
the customers because nobody
would go over there and normally
people love our poppy seed bagels. I
knew that the boss was coming in
soon and that this guy was no good
for business, so I decided that
maybe if I went over to try and help
him find whatever it was he was
looking for, maybe he’d hurry up and
leave faster. So I started to head
over to the guy. But then, as I got
closer, I could hear that the little
rustling noises I had been hearing
sounded more like little chomping
noises and hissing.

Sue: What happened next?

Jimmy Sam: Now, I’m no expert on

suspicious activity, but I knew that
was strange. I decided that this had
to end. I went up to the man and
faced him head on and told him that
if he wasn’t going to buy any bagels
he had to leave. And then the
weirdest part happened. He made
this strange hissing noise, like a cat,
and I was about here thinking “it is
too early on a monday for this” when
he turns and headed for the doors. I
was plenty fine with that when I
noticed that where he had been
standing, all of our bagels were
gone! So, I turned back around and
grabbed the guy.

Sue: And how did the man react?

Jimmy Sam: Well at first, he just

tried to get away. But when I
grabbed him, his coat began to slip
off. And underneath, I tell you, it was
the strangest thing I have ever seen.
Inside the coat, along with the man,
there were dozens of little raccoons.
They were dressed all nicely, too,
with little shirts and pants. I’ve never
seen anything like it. And each of
 ‘em, in their paws, had a poppy seed
bagel.

Sue: What happened after you

grabbed the man?

Jimmy Sam: I let him go. I was

surprised by all the racoons that I let
go and he wriggled out of my grasp
and ran away down the block, his
army of tiny, smartly dressed
racoons trailing after him. I was
shocked. Then, once I could collect
myself, I went inside and called the
authorities. Not too soon after my
boss, Joey Flep, arrived along with
the police.

Sue: Thank you, Jimmy Sam. No

further questions.

Judge: You may be seated.

[JIMMY SAM GOES BACK TO HIS SEAT]

Judge: The defendant's witness is

called to the stand.

Tammy: Your Honor, defense calls

Bread Buyer to the stand.

[BREAD BUYER COMES AND STANDS

BEHIND THE STAND]

[JUDGE RAISES RIGHT HAND]

Judge: Please raise your right hand

and repeat after me.

[BREAD BUYER RAISES RIGHT HAND]

Judge: Do you solemnly swear to tell

the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth so help you
god?

Bread Buyer: I do

Tammy: What is your name?

Bread Buyer: Bread Buyer.

Tammy: And where were you at the

time of the accused robbery?

Bread Buyer: I was at Joey Flep’s

Bagel Mart.

Tammy: Do you normally go to Joey

Flep’s Bagel Mart?

Bread Buyer: Yes, I go to Joey

Flep’s Bagel Mart every Monday to
buy cinnamon raisin bagels to feed
my family.

Tammy: And on this particular

Monday, did anything seem out of
place or different to you at Joey
Flep’s Bagel Mart?

Bread Buyer: No ma’am. Everything

appeared to be moving normally.

Tammy: You were at the shop at the

time of the robbery. Do you
remember seeing my client, Joey
Flep, in the store at that time?

Bread Buyer: No I do not, although I

was only really looking to buy the
cinnamon raisin bagels and then
leave.

Tammy: Did you see anyone over in

the poppy seed bagel section?
 Bread Buyer: As far as I can recall,
no, but I wasn’t really looking there
either.

Tammy: Would you, based on your

experience in the shop on that day,
say that a robbery occurred?

Bread Buyer: I don’t know about a

robbery, but something strange
definitely happened. I have never
seen so many raccoons! And all of
them were dressed like little children
too!

Tammy: Yes or no, do you think a

robbery took place?

Bread Buyer: Is it really a robbery if

the racoons were the ones who were
stealing? Each racoon was definitely
eating a rather delicious looking
poppy seed bagel, but can they be
held accountable? I don’t know. But
yes, the racoons all had bagels. If
they were unpaid for, I suppose that
a robbery might've taken place.

Tammy (annoyed) : Did you see my

client, Joey Flep, at any time hand a
bagel to a raccoon or in any way
encourage or persuade a raccoon to
take a bagel?

Bread Buyer: No, I did not.

Tammy: Thank you. The defense

has no more questions.

[BREAD BUYER GOES BACK TO SEAT]

Judge: People of the jury, you will

now have an opportunity to hear the
 arguments of the attorneys, starting
with the prosecution, Sue.

Sue: Thank you, Your Honor.

[SUE STANDS]

Sue: People of the jury, today you

have heard evidence of a robbery of
a small, local business and clear
violation of statutes protecting
wildlife. This is unacceptable. This is
a crime that not only hurts one of our
town's small businesses and local
business owners, but hurts our
community as well. Having wild
animals, especially of a breed that
commonly carries diseases and
parasites, in an environment where
food is being made is a dangerous
health risk. Furthermore, raccoons
as a species are known to be people
adverse. They bite, scratch, and
otherwise cause bodily harm to
humans that may get too close. This
is an exact example of why they are
prohibited from being kept as pets.
And yet, on top of stealing, Joey
Flep found no issue with bringing no
less than thirty six hungry racoons
with him into a public place with
other community members. He
knowingly put people's safety at risk
and threatened the reputation and
income of a grassroots business
venture. If he does not pay
retributions for his actions, who is
going to hold him accountable in the
future? He is not safe or thoughtful
and doesn’t have the best wishes for
our community in his mind. Thank
you.

[SUE SITS BACK DOWN]

 Judge: And now for the arguments
of the defense’s attorney.

[TAMMY STANDS]

Tammy: People of the jury, what we

have heard today is the tragic story
of the robbing of bagels from a bagel
business. But, my client is not the
one responsible here. Jimmy Flep
may have in fact been present at the
store at the time the robbery took
place, but it is clear that he was not
the perpetrator of the crime. In fact,
there was no product on his body at
any point throughout the robbery.
The racoons were the ones with the
bagels, and as such, the racoons
are the ones responsible for this
heinous crime. Additionally, my client
never claimed ownership to the
racoons responsible. The fact that
Mr. Flep lived with and transported
the raccoons everywhere via trench
coat is simply a coincidence. He had
no idea that they were on him that
day nor their intentions of robbery.
Mr. Flep is innocent here. I hope that
you can see and empathize with him
as being another victim in this case.
Thank you.

[TAMMY SITS BACK DOWN]

[JUDGE TURNS TO ADDRESS THE

AUDIENCE]

Judge: The jury may now discuss

their verdict.
[END SCENE]