Brought to you by

Ms. Carmen & Ms. Tammi

With special thanks to Peterson’s Best College Admission Essays
Your Essays Make A Difference!
• Most colleges guarantee that your essay will be
read at least one time—more if a smaller
college.

• It is not necessarily what you write, but how you

write that counts. Colleges ARE looking at your
ability to write.
 Advice from the Experts…
“The essay provides applicants with the
opportunity to become real and fully
dimensional to the readers. It also
provides a forum for the applicant to come
forward about life’s priorities; we look at
the essay as a culmination of how a
student thinks about what is important to
him or her.” - Lee Stetson, Dean of Admissions, University of
Pennsylvania
 I Love Brainstorm Essay
Ms. Carmen’s Loom Video

• Time yourself for one minute and then write down a

list of things you love - write as quickly as you can.
Do not worry about quality. Do not worry if what you
write seems weird.

• Go through and highlight anything that seems

particularly interesting, powerful, unique, or strange.
This could be a good jump off point!
 I Hate Brainstorm
• Now repeat but with “I hate”
• Does anything interesting stand out?
Deep? Anything that shows your
personality? Anything weird? Anything
that shows humor?
 Personal Statement -
UK/Europe
Info adapted from UCAS.com
• As opposed to the US and Canada,

UK/Europe want to know about you as a

student - not necessarily a person - your
talents, ambitions, career aspirations (if
you have them), favorite subjects, etc.

• The quality of your writing is still

important!
Word limit 400-600
 How are you unique?
Chloe Ng, HE Career Coach, Manchester Metropolitan
University

“Try to include something unique and memorable about yourself.

Admission teams receive thousands of applications each day, so give them
a reason to read yours more than once.”

Personal Statement Tips - Video

• Enthusiasm about your subject
• Conversational and personal in tone
• Start with something attention grabbing
 Personal Statement Brainstorm
Five minute journal:

Write down everything you would like an admissions officer to

know about you.
• Passions (and why you are passionate about this)
• How you hope you can make a real impact on the world
• What you hope to study, and how you are already preparing
• Why your chosen subject means so much to you
• Elements of your personality that you feel make you an asset.

Don’t worry too much about making your notes perfect – this is
more about making sure you know why you should be offered a
place.
 Common App. Prompts
1) Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they
believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please
share your story.

2) The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success.
Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and
what did you learn from the experience?

3) Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your
thinking? What was the outcome?

4) Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful
in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

5) Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth

and a new understanding of yourself or others.

6) Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of
time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7) Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that
responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Limit: 250-650 words

 1. Unique Story
DON’T summarize your whole life story!
YET “story” and “background” is more than 1 event:
•Did you live in an usual place?
•Did you move frequently?
•Did you or someone in your family have significant
challenges to overcome?
•How do you spend your spare time? What would you
rather be doing than anything else? How does that
contribute to your identity, skills, and your life experience?
2. Dealing with Obstacles/
Failure
 2. Obstacles or Failure
Don’t let the focus be on your failure
But on your journey through failure . . .
•Epiphany regarding class, or school influence that affected change in
academic attitude (be specific).

•This can be about a personal interest or personal relationship.

•Have you ever “messed up” and done something you wish you could
change? How did you become a more compassionate, thoughtful, etc.
person as a result?

•The majority of the essay should be about a reflection on how you

grew, not a long description of the failure.

•The ultimate goal is to show you in a positive light.

3. Challenging a Belief or Idea
• Key words:
• Don’t turn it into an analytical essay
– What initiated this?
– What and how did you challenge?
– Reflect on the outcome and your actions.
• Don’t argue for your beliefs
• Keep in mind school environment???
• You don’t want to sound like a jerk.
• Do tell a story
• Show rather than tell
 4. Gratitude
• DO - focus on telling the story of a relationship.
• Do - focus on a relationship that might be
surprising or unexpected
• Do - focus on concrete images - build in a
metaphor or symbol to tie into the relationship
and its significance
• Don’t - Write about obvious relationships and
actions (no cliches)
• Don’t - forget balance (you are developing a
relationship, not just writing about one person)
• Don’t - forget to keep the action of that person in
mind
 5. Accomplishment and Personal
Growth
• Focus on the solution, not the problem itself.
• Keep it pointed and specific—not too broad.
• Keep tone in check—show confidence but not
egotistical.
• Highlight your curiosity and the process of
exploration.
• Don’t be to detailed/tedious in the steps you took
to solve the problem.
• If you already know what you want to study,
might be opportunity to focus on career goals.
• How this process changed you for the better.
 6. Captivating Subject
• Don’t Don’t write a report on the subject
• AVOID the obvious: “That day I learned”
• DON’T use words like “event” and “achievement”
• Create a story of you engaged in this subject.
What does that look like? Feel like? How would
another person see you in that situation?
• Focus on a specific event—often something recent
• DO include reflection on the subject’s meaning
and what it reveals about you.
• DO find areas of tension (obstacles) in your
study/learning.
 An Essay / Prompt of Your
Choice
This one is risky but could be great at setting you
apart, if you already know you are a talented,
creative writer.
DON’T just write about anything
DO keep your focus on yourself and your core
values
DO keep track of your sources and cite them
 More Question #7
Creating Ideas For Prompt #7 (adapted from collegevine.com)

Examples and Ideas

Try something unconventional:

• Tackle a difficult topic in a unique format
• A script
• A conversation with a historical figure
• A rhyming poem or a prose poem

• Compare your personality to a Picasso painting or one of Beethoven's

Symphonies
• Use a philosophical extended metaphor to discuss your high school years
• If you are extremely passionate about something or an expert in a certain area,
you can use this prompt to show your authority by discussing it at a high level,
• but be careful to frame the essay in a way that is accessible, while still
incorporating quality evidence and content that would qualify you as an
expert.
 Personal Qualities to Avoid
• Your determination

• A list of your favorite things

• How diverse your interests are

• Mental health struggles - unless you are exploring how

you are: e.g. whole within these struggles, have
overcome something really difficult, have learned a
lesson like boundaries, balance, etc. (be wary of M.H.
struggles related SPECIFICALLY to academics
 Instead . . .
• Feel free to highlight the “quirks” that make you
unique

• An awkward social situation you navigated

 Some Don’ts
• Don’t – “try” to prove you are smart or accomplished (let
your resume and also the personal examples in your
essay speak for themselves)
• Don’t – rehash what your application already says
• Don’t – appear over idealistic
• Don’t – explain blemishes on GPA or SAT scores
• Don’t – mention popular TV, movies, musicians,
actors or…Dr. Seuss book (cliche)
• Don’t – write anything that might embarrass the
reader (e.g: swear words, sexual language that is
graphic)
• Don’t – write an important or scholarly essay
 Some Do’s
• DO - Convey a positive message
• DO - Strive for depth, not breadth
• DO - Communicate your true and genuine
thoughts / feelings
• DO - Write about something you feel
strongly about
• DO - Write about what you know firsthand
• DO - Write about others as well as about
yourself
 Structure, Format and Tone
DO
•KISS = Keep It Simple, Silly!!!
•Use logical, frequent paragraph breaks
•Be authentic to who you are…

DON’T
•Limit yourself to the 5 paragraph essay
•Try too hard to be funny
•Insult or offend
•Whine, complain, appear bitter, angry or boastful
 Opening Sentences
DON’T
•Introduce yourself to the admission committee—
“Hello, my name is….”
•Ask the reader’s permission to tell him/her about yourself
“Please permit me to discuss my…”
•Reiterate the topic or question or itemize the points you
will make in subsequent paragraphs
“In this essay you will read about…”
“I will discuss…”
•Open with a quote (unless it is unique to your situation).
•Start with a question.
 Opening Sentences
DO start your essay with:
•An mysterious statement that makes the reader wonder to
what or to whom you are referring
•A trivial observation that anyone can relate to but that
nobody else would ever think to mention
•A paradox
•Humor
•A confession
•An overly obvious statement
•Maybe “bookend” your essay with a personal story or
image
 Getting Started
• Brainstorm a list of ideas that focus on your
experiences within the seven chosen AP
topics.
• You can refer back to the brainstorm of “Things
I love” and “Things I hate.”
• Pick one idea that came out in this activity
• for European model, be sure to focus in on
one that can apply to your career.
• For common app, brainstorm something
related to one of the questions you are most
engaged with.
 Getting Launched
• Consider the conclusion to your story as
the starting point (Common App Only)
• Don’t censor your thoughts (yet...)
• Consider starting with action (Common
App or European App)
• Consider beginning with
• Include analogies, extended metaphors,
quotes
 Getting Started
Respond to the questions on your
brainstorm sheet. Be sure to give specific
and personal details!!! Then take these
ideas and brainstorm how you might fit them
into your essay.
 Tell a story
• Set a timer for 20 minutes. Pretend you're
taking an exam at high school and
responding to, "Tell a story about an
experience or time when you showed you
were a very _________ person." Use the
characteristic you identified in Step 2.
Write or type non-stop for 20 minutes;
force yourself to keep telling the story and
what it reveals until the timer goes off.
 Turn off the Light
• Cover or dim your computer screen so you
can’t self censor.
• The point is to get out your ideas—not to
revise at this point.