THE GOD CLUB

Julia: (Heather and Kerri are practising a secret handshake. Julia enters)
Hi guys. Whatcha doin?

Heather: (turning around quickly) Nothin’.

Kerri: Nothin’.

Julia: Come on. I saw you doing something weird with your hands.

Heather: Oh, alright. We were practising our secret club handshake.

Julia: Neat. Can you teach me?

Heather: Sorry. It wouldn’t be a secret if we showed you.

Julia: Oh. Okay. Well, do you want to come over to my place and hang out?

Kerri: We’d love to Julia but we were just on our way to our club meeting.
Maybe later, okay?

Julia: Sure. See ya. (they exit and she looks after them for a bit then
turns and goes to Joey and Herman) Hey guys. What’s going on?

Joey: Hey Julia. We’re just hanging.

Julia: (pause) Say guys, have you ever been part of a club?

Herman: Oh yeah. We’re expert club members. We’ve actually started a bunch
of clubs.

Julia: Really? Like what?

Joey: Well, we started the Apathy Club but nobody ever showed up to the
meetings.

Herman: I guess that kind of makes sense. Then we started the Herman and
Joey Fan Club.

Joey: It was the Joey and Herman Fan Club.

Herman: You keep forgetting. It was the other way around.

Joey: Oh no. I distinctly remember that Joey came first.

Herman: Well anyway, then we had the W.B.N. Club.

Julia: What does W.B.N. stand for?

Joey: Weird body noises.

Herman: Yeah we had them all classified and everything. We gave points to
them all and we had competitions. Whoever got the most points was declared
the Body Noise King.
Joey: It was lots of fun. Do you want to hear a thunderclap?

Julia: NO!! No, no. I don’t even want to think about how you make that
sound.

Herman: What is the trouble Julia? There’s something bothering you.

Julia: Oh, Heather and Kerri are in this secret club and I guess I feel left
out. I want to be part of a club too.

Joey: But you are a part of a club, Julia.

Julia: Really? What club?

Joey: When you became a Christian, you became a member of God’s family. That
means that wherever you go, you can always feel at home because there are
Christians everywhere.

Herman: Yeah. It’s like the biggest club in the world. And you don’t need
a secret handshake. Lots of clubs have secrets and try not to let many people
in. If you’re part of “God’s club” then you’re always willing to have new
members. It’s the best club there is.

Julia: Hey, I never thought of it that way. That’s kind of neat.

Joey: Yup. It sure is and there’s no smell.

Julia: No smell. What do you mean?

Joey: Well with the Weird Body Noises Club sometimes there’d be this ..

Julia: Stop! I don’t want to know. I’m just happy to part of a group that
welcomes everyone.

Herman: And we’re glad that you’re part of God’s family just like us.

Joey: Hey, I guess that means that you’re our sister.

Herman: Does that mean we have to fight with you like we do our real sister.

Julia: You already do sometimes.

Joey: Oh yeah. Come on. Let’s go tell Heather and Kerri that they’re part
of our club and they don’t even realize it. (all exit)