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The Bar Scene:

The wind whistles down the sidewalk of an all-but-abandoned New York street; this

unsleeping city seems to be more tired than most at this hour, with only the bleakest of faces

treading past the damp, forlorn alleys. Lit by the amber glow of the streetlamps, a tired and

overworked researcher pushes her way through the heavy doors of the bar - a place that calls

out to burnt-out dreamers, taking them in and warming their souls with strong drinks and

esoteric conversations.

Tonight, however, there is a cloud over the entire bar as the patrons grapple with the

news of another school shooting. The researcher had just published an article on the survivors

of such events three weeks back, and after hearing the news late that evening, a sense of

helplessness invaded every corner of her being, forcing her to look for some kind of relief. She

needed to talk to someone, to throw all of her thoughts, questions, and emotions at anyone who

was willing to listen. After assessing the scene, she overheard two people at the bar trading their

theories about what those kids could be going through, and she knew she found her outlet. The

figures were startled as she pulled up a stool right between them, but after the initial shock they

were more intrigued than anything. To her left sat the critic, a professor with a passion for

young adult literacy, and on her right sat the sociologist, an activist who guides others along

their own journeys towards healing. As she beckoned the bartender for a drink of her own, the

writer finally broke the awkward tension…

Researcher: So, you’ve both seen the news as well I take it?
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Critic: Yes, another devastating attack on our youth… I’m no psychologist, but I’d have

to imagine those survivors are going to have a long road ahead of them. God, I hope they’ll be

alright…

Researcher: Unfortunately, you're right on that account. After living through mass

shootings, kids and adolescents tend to face some pretty extreme barriers in terms of mental

recovery. Some of them will bounce back quicker than others, but there’s this concept called

anxious sensitivity that becomes highly relevant to survivors. Basically, if any of the victims

were already prone to a fear of negative social outcomes, isolation, and other risk factors, they

would likely also be more susceptible to PTSD. That PTSD can then lead to some pretty serious

responses… self-harm, panic attacks, unhealthy emotional outlets, and even a death drive.

Sociologist: That’s true of general trauma as well: death of a parent, sexual outing,

severe bullying... any event that disrupts those core needs of safety, trust, and social confidence

can send these kids spiraling towards self-doubt and destructive behaviors.

The rain continues to trickle down the windows as the three stare off, contemplating this

grim reality. The critic pulls out a book from the bag hung haphazardly on the back of his stool

and places it on the bar…

Critic: It seems I’m somewhat outmatched in terms of expertise here, but I have been

reading a couple of books that have some rather heavy themes of childhood trauma… He points

to the colorful looking paperback with the words “I’ll Give You the Sun” cascading down the

cover. The twins in this one faced a litany of traumas. He gestures towards the sociologist. They

went through pretty much everything you mentioned, but also sexual assault and a familial

schism. Noah and Jude had it pretty rough…

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Sociologist: That sounds pretty intense. If you don’t mind spoiling some of the story, I’d

love to know how they coped.

Critic: Chuckles. I mean you really should read it yourself, but if you’re gonna twist my

arm… Noah, the male twin, definitely dissociates after the death of their mom. He kind of

becomes this shattered subject, which places him in this strange in-between space where he can’t

reconcile between his pre-trauma self and his new broken selfhood. Like many characters placed

in this scenario of compounding traumas, he shuts down. Numb to the world, he abandons his

dreams, fades into the crowd, and tries to avoid his reality.

Researcher: That sounds really similar to what we see in a lot of school shooting

survivors: There appears to be a higher risk of externalizing problems such as conduct disorder

or oppositional defiance. These youth have concurrent emotional numbing, emotional

dysregulation, and some of them lack affective empathy (Cimolai, Schmitz, Sood 3). It sounds

like Noah is leaning into that emotional numbness to escape from unpacking and facing his

traumas.

Sociologist: I think it’s interesting that you mentioned how Noah fades into the crowd.

You didn’t seem to mean that in a positive way, but both historically and in present research we

see that the most resilient trauma survivors lean on their friends and social networks to support

them through their reconciling process. If by “fade into the crowd” you mean he found a group

of friends, I would call that a move in the right direction.

Critic: In some ways, yes, Noah leans on his friends for support. However, by choosing

to prioritize his social sphere, he all but abandons Jude, his twin sister, who used to be his best

friend and his primary support system. He also completely abandons his former personality,

which was quirky, reserved, artistic, and creative, and quickly adopts this very normal, numb,
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and socially acceptable persona in order to fit in. I’d say it’s much more like the emotional

dysregulation that our other friend here was describing. Conversely, Jude becomes manic,

isolating herself from her former friends and grasping on to extreme levels of superstition to

cope with the loss. Similar to other characters I’ve encountered, she focuses on the performative

nature of everyone around her, hyper fixating on the inauthenticity of her peers - and brother for

that matter - and pretty much abandoning her identity, which she also sees as performative.

Researcher: It sounds like your author is exploring both sides of the emotional response

spectrum here. Obviously, there’s Noah’s numbness, but it sounds like Jude is falling into the

category of hyperarousal, where some victims try so hard to bounce back from their emotional

pain that they become exaggerated versions of themselves. Basically, they externalize everything

to avoid their internal fears. You mentioned sexual assault earlier. Was Jude the victim?

Critic: She was, and the aggressor was someone in her previous friend group. A huge

part of her hyper fixations is on her own appearance. She goes from presenting as a more

vivacious, fun-loving young girl to a girl in hiding, constantly wearing oversized sweatshirts and

baggy clothes to hide her body, which I see as a direct response to her sexual trauma.

Sociologist: You’ve mentioned how both twins have gone through some major

personality shifts after the death of their mom. I’m interested in knowing how their adults and

peers reacted to these shifts. Obviously, many would be aware of what the twins were going

through, but was there any major pushback or reactions to their changes in personality?

Critic: For Noah, not really. If anything, his new personality falls more in line with

societal expectations, which makes it easier for him to connect with people he used to find

inaccessible, like his dad for instance. Noah reconciles with his father after the death of his mom,

whereas Jude becomes somewhat estranged from their father. Jude’s extreme superstitions and
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hyper imagination place a barrier between her and the rest of her remaining family. They don’t

know how to handle her overactivity, and that extends to other adults and peers in her life as

well.

Sociologist: I suspected that would be the case. As a society, we’ve been moving towards

a more neoliberal worldview where individual responsibility is king, which means it’s easier for

us to blame victims for their responses to traumas. Neoliberal ideologies offer an “unrestrained

actor” model in which poor decision-making and a lack of self-restraint lead to harmful

behaviors. Combining insights from rational choice and utilitarian theories, neoliberal ideologies

suggest that individuals are self-interested agents whose lines of action are driven by a risk-

versus-reward calculation (Irwin 64). Noah’s personality shift aligns with the neoliberal

worldview, which makes it easier for him to fade into the crowd as you mentioned earlier.

However, Jude’s inability to align with societal norms due to her traumas is also a natural

response, but that doesn’t make it any easier for others to reconcile her differences.

Unfortunately, when these third parties don’t work to try to help Jude with her emotional

regulation and prefer to label her as odd or unconforming, they further isolate her and exacerbate

the problem.

Researcher: I definitely agree, especially about the need for third party support. Using

academics as an example, we sometimes see a decline in academic performance in survivors,

which takes a concerted effort on the part of school officials and teachers to correct. Since

trauma responses can vary so widely, as Noah and Jude exemplify, it’s important to give

survivors individual attention to assess their needs and help guide them in their journey of

recovery. At the risk of spoiling the entire book, I’d love to know if Jude ever receives that all-

important third-party intervention?

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Critic: She does, thankfully. After struggling with her arts-based program, she is guided

to a sculpting mentor who eventually helps her come to terms with her trauma through her art.

To her credit, she recognizes that her sculpting could be an effective outlet for her emotions early

on, and puts in the effort to seek out this mentor in order to aid her healing process. Ultimately,

her choice to take that initiative might have saved her from herself.

Sociologist: I’m glad. Otherwise, it would have been quite a tragic story. I’m also

grateful to hear you mention that she deserves some credit for her own trajectory shift. Much of

my work has focused on the ideas of self-activism, self-advocacy, and empowering victims to

start their journeys toward recovery. That’s not to say I’m taking the neoliberal worldview that

we all should be responsible for ourselves and ourselves alone, but rather that the process of

healing becomes much quicker and more effective if the victim is a willing and active

participant. Third parties are vital to ensuring the affected individual has a support system for

when they stumble, but there’s so much power to be found in the self and we can’t ignore that.

Researcher: Yeah, I think you’re right. She stares into her cup, remembering why they

started this conversation. Looking over at the newscast… I know more than most how tough it's

going to be for them, but hopefully those kids can pull through this. It’s just not fair. They

deserve a world where they don’t have to suffer all this trauma, all this devastation at such a

young age, but for now they're stuck dealing with the messes we’ve created. Guess it’s our job to

help them get to the other side as safely as possible, and to pick them up when they’ve fallen in

holes life has dug for them.

The three finish their drinks, and after a brief goodbye, they go their separate ways. The

city streets aren’t as warm as the bar, and the researchers' tears mix with the puddles on the

rough concrete.
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Works Cited

Cimolai, V., Schmitz, J. & Sood, A.B. Effects of Mass Shootings on the Mental Health of

Children and Adolescents. Curr Psychiatry Rep 23, 12 (2021).

https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-021-01222-2

Irwin, Katherine. “‘You Kind of Find Yourself Helpless’: Teens’ Identity Constructions and

Responses to Childhood Trauma.” Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, vol. 51, no. 1,

Feb. 2022, pp. 59–84, doi:10.1177/08912416211026725.

Latham, Don. “Melinda's Closet: Trauma and the Queer Subtext of Laurie Halse Anderson's

Speak.” Children's Literature Association Quarterly, Johns Hopkins University Press, 22

Jan. 2007, https://muse.jhu.edu/article/209096.