Contents

Introduction....................................................................................................................1
Forms of Marriage Among The Kalenjin...................................................................1
The contents of the Kalenjin Society with respect to marriage..................................2
Capacity...........................................................................................................................2
Consent for Marriage....................................................................................................2
Formalities of A Kalenjin Customary Marriage........................................................3
1. The Proposal (Kegoyto Tuga)...............................................................................4
2. Dowry Negotiations.............................................................................................4
3. Engagement (Koito).............................................................................................5
4. Dowry payment among the Kipsigis................................................................5
5. Wedding................................................................................................................5
Conclusion......................................................................................................................6
 KALENJIN MARRIAGE
Introduction
The Kalenjin are a group of tribes designated as highland Nilotes, they descended from the Maliri people. The
Kalenjin, just like any other community have their own cultural practices; one of them being the different stages
of life. In this article we focus on marriage. The Kalenjin have their own customs they follow, traditions that
they have been passed onto by their ancestors, and will pass on to their children.
Forms of Marriage Among The Kalenjin
1. Polygamy (Syoonik) – This is where a man would marry many wives. The procedure of marriage is the same as
the first marriage but respect was accorded to the first wife who was held at high esteem as opposed to the other
wives. Having many wives was a symbol of pride and wealth. This marriage was mostly common among the
Kipsigis. As a symbol of respect to the first wife the husband had to consult with her before making the decision
to marry other wives. It was unheard of for a man to use cattle accrued to him from his daughter’s marriages to
marry another wife. This was although allowed among the Nandi in circumstances where the man had no sons.
2. Museet – This was mainly done during times of war. The mother of a groom would take his son’s place and
marry a woman on his behalf as an assurance of companionship and protection upon son's death in case that
eventuality his brothers would inherit and bear children on his behalf. Upon son’s return he would live with the
young woman.
3. Kiitunji Toloch – This is where an old woman with no children married a young woman for the purpose of
companionship, protection and helping out with the work in the homestead. The young woman would call the old
woman mother and if she bore children then they would be considered the old woman’s children and were
entitled to inheritance. In the case of Monica Jesang Katam v Jackson Jepkwony and another succession case No
212 of 2010 EKLR. Monica (plaintiff) was the beneficiary of an estate of Cherotich Kimong’ony Kibserea by
virtue of having married her under Nandi customs. Justice Ojwang ruled in her favour.
4. Kipkondit – This was mainly done with the purpose of “raising seed” for deceased husband. A widowed
woman was under the care of her husband’s brother in all social aspects except for sexual relations. Sexual
relations were strictly orchestrated where there was mutual desire. The widowed woman had the freedom to
marry another man who oftentimes was considered “too poor to marry” They would cohabit on the condition that
the children they bore were considered the dead husband’s and were to inherit from him.
Other forms of marriage include: Katunisyetab tororyeet – important ceremony performed late in life to show
respect for couple who had been married for many years. (Kapsirwonin) married another woman so that she can
gave birth on her behalf. Kabwatereret – involves booking of a young child at tender age by an individual so that
he can start paying dowry. Kandiet – involves inheriting widow by close relative

Marriage within the same clan is not acceptable. Marriage of close relative was not allowed. Son or daughter was
not allowed to marry someone of the same age set as his or her father, they married into next older or younger age
set Adultery was taboo for women. It was taboo for a woman to meet her son in law on the path, a woman would
take to the bushes if she saw her son in law coming. If a woman and her son in law needed to talk, they would talk
at a distance

The contents of the Kalenjin Society with respect to marriage

Capacity
The Capacity to procure marriage in the traditional Kalenjin Culture in terms of age was basically defined by the
maturity and more specifically puberty.
The Male adolescent, after attaining the age where he looked ripe for initiation would be taken through the
process of circumcision (tumin.)The process begins with an introduction to the ceremony (cheptilet) where
persons from all walks of life come to witness the bravery that the young boys have shown in choosing to
undergo the cultural obligation. Here, kametwokik ab tarusiek (mothers to the young men) chant words of
encouragement, an example is the common chant Arya wei kipkosgei… (Basically saying good luck Kipkosgei,
just an example) a prayer is then said (kesal tumdo) where he would be Initiated after which, he would be
secluded for a period of time, during which the initiate (tarusiot) would be taught the aspects of adulthood.

Young Men, now initiated (bakule/batum), would take up the age-sets, this is significant as this confers an
identity to the young men, as it was expected. Generally, the society was calibrated to have the age-sets they
included; Nyongiik (Nyongi), Mainek (Maina), Chumek (Chumo), Saweiyek (Sawe), Kipkoimetiek (kipkoimet),
Kaplelachek (Kaplelach) and Kimnyigeiek (Kimnyigei) et. al. Apart from providing an Identity for the new young
men, the age group that the young men would join after initiation would be the warriors to the community. This is
important to the marriage aspect as the Young men were expected to go on an expedition. The Kalenjin being a
livestock keeping community, would expect the young man who had gone koporu tuga/tich (expedition to bring
in cows) to conquer the enemy and come back with a herd. To this end, a successful young man would be deemed
as Matured (no longer a Ng’etet (uncircumcised young man) now an adult) and responsible (the significance of
the expedition.)

The young man would have then met the minimum requirements to take a bride to himself.
On the part of Girls, for a girl to be considered to have the capacity to get married, she must undergo circumcision
(keyatita) on her end she is then secluded and in the seclusion she is taught her responsibilities after which she
will be ready for marriage. The events afterwards are discussed in detail at the formalities.
Consent for Marriage
The Kalenjin Tradition view of marriage was that it was a sacred thing not to be broken (makibete lol.) Marriage
was therefore held in high regard. It is for that reason that it was not upon the young ones to choose who to marry
and who not to. Boisiek (elders) of the family including sigiik (parents) of the children had the preserve of doing
the negotiations on behalf of their children. For consent to be given, however, there were factors that were
considered for consent to be given.
Formalities of A Kalenjin Customary Marriage
The formalities for marriage would begin at the point where boisiek from the man’s side are convinced that the
man was old enough, mature and responsible to have a family and the potential girl to be taken as a wife has
already been circumcised, they would then seek a potential wife for the man. The elders would leave very early in
the morning to the Girl’s home. Here, they would propose the man as the potential suitor for the girl. The
proposal is by way of Kegoito tuga (giving a cow.) The Cow was an unconditional offer, where they did not
really expect the answer from the potential bride’s parents. It is a show of offer to the parents and all this is done
in good faith. It is also worthy to note that this happens immediately after the word spreads that a girl has been
circumcised. It is also noteworthy that the offer does not emanate from only one potential suitor, but the number
varies according to factors like family and the character of the girl among others.
There are considerations that are supposed to be met before the choice of a suitor is made. The same was
supposed to be met by the girl’s family. The Kalenjin are exogamous - marriage within family was very
prohibited. There was a mechanism to ensure this was adhered to in very strict measures.
The society was arranged in clans- they were basically members that shared a common ancestor, there are many
clans within the Nandi’s, they include: Kapchepkendi, Kamelilo, Koilegei, Kabochiik, Kaptalamek among others.
This was the first consideration that was made when choosing a good suitor, while it was not explicit that
marriage should not be within the clan (there are stricter measures that ensured that adherence) the preferred
suitor was one that did not come from the same clan. The very strict measures that were developed gradually yto
ensure exogamy was the development of ortinwek (loosely translates to roads) and tiongik (loosely translates to
animals to refer to totems.)
To properly understand the totem system illustrations are given.
The totem (family that belonged to, or represented by, the oret) Kipyegen which is represented by the animal
Moset (meaning Monkey) were allowed to marry from the oret of Kibois represented by the animal Lelwot (the
fox.) The family that was represented by the oret, Mooi (represented by the tiondo kong’onyot (Crested Crane))
was allowed to marry Kipkenda represented by the tiondo segemik (bees.) Among other totems that existed were
the Talai represented by Ng’etung’do (the Lion) commonly known for their orkoik (seers) powers. It is also
worthy to note that should any ‘mistake’ be made and two potential families pass the sieves that were made to
filter out the possibility of marriage within the clan, then the society had other mechanisms to prevent close blood
relations from intermarrying. In cases where there was risk of intermarrying, but the elders know that there are no
close blood ties, the clan would be split into two, with a significant meaning, say a family from the monkey
‘kipyegen’ would be split into two, ‘kipyegen che tai’ and ‘kipyegen solopik’ (the original clan and the one of the
line of the cockroach where the cockroach here signifies slolpik che kirop got meaning (cockroaches that creeped
the wall of the house/family)). A specific example that exists to date for instance, among the clan that belonged to
‘Kipkenda’ (the Bees) due to probably an intermarriage that occurred way earlier, the clan was split into two,
Segemik che tuen, and Segemik che birien (referring to the red bees that reside on trees and the black bees that
reside on caves and on the ground.)
There were instances where these formalities had to be bypassed by the parents of the prospective groom,
especially where all the measures to prevent exogamy had been met, these instances were; ‘kaet sigiik lakwet
puch,’ the girl’s parents denied the man’s offer for no good reason ‘negiit koosit muren amakimeche kosongo’ the
man is quite old and the society does not promote celibacy, and, if there is too tight a competition for the hand of
the girl. In these extraordinary circumstances, the Man’s Parents would elope with the girl, go circumcise her and
immediately after the circumcision, karon koya (very early in the morning, before the cock crows) the man’s
parents would send envoys to place a sinendet (a green plant with thin stems, scientific name, Periploca
lineariploca, generally signifying tumdo successful passout)on top of the girl’s home. This way the parents are
informed of the whereabouts of the girl.
Eight separate ceremonies were observed in connection with the kalenjin traditional wedding. Each ceremony
could not be effected without the local beer popularly known as maiyweek. Involves mainly 8 steps and in each
step involves the use of local brew (maiyweek) upon the acceptance of bride and groom families. Kayaet/yaetab
kooito, Kibendi kooito, Chuteetab njoor, Sueetab tuga, Rateet, Keeset, Keeteitei koroseek and Tyegeetab seguut

1. The Proposal (Kegoyto Tuga)

This was the first step towards initiating a kalenjin marriage. They are preliminary visits made by the young
man’s father to the father of the girl selected to be his wife. The initial visit is known as kaayet aap kooito. On the
first visit the father was dressed in a robe of blue monkey fur. During this visit the man’s father offers one cow to
the father of the girl. This cow is not a real offer and neither does the father expect an answer. Upon arrival at the
intended girl’s home he will stand at mabwaita i.e. the family altar and send a message to the girl’s father. This
was done by placing a ceremonial stick (noogirweet) at the mabwaita. This was a sign that he wanted to begin
talks in regards of marriage. The father arranged another meeting day.
The second visit is known as Kebendii Kooito where one goes to the presentation of cattle. This is the first main
visit of the suitor’s father to the father of the girl. One ox or one ox, six sheep’s or goats were taken during this
visit. Questions were asked regarding clanships, kinship and other maters which may prove to be a barrier to the
marriage. This is the point that matters concerning witchcraft were brought forward. If it was discovered that any
of the family members practiced witchcraft or there were any strange deaths then the proposal would be
discontinued.
On the second main visit of the man’s father to the girl’s home he offers the father teet-ap ko i.e. the cow of inside
the house. It was expected that by this time the girl’s father would have carried out some investigations
concerning the intended suitor. If he found the young man unacceptable the young man’s father was told to seet
olda age (look elsewhere) that is move to another house or try another place.
If everything was agreed upon the day after the visit the groom and his friend usually his age mate visited the
bride’s father. The girl’s family will anoint the visitors with ghee. This was called kaailet-ab-saanik .The ghee
symbolized blessings then the visitors returned home.
This was followed by Chutet-aap Njoor which was an important ceremonial visit of the suitor to the home of the
bride’s father. This was the first instance the suitor was allowed to enter the njoor a part of the house preserved
for males. The suitor was dressed in a calf-skin clock and was accompanied by his best friend (motiryoot).The
bride’s father met them outside and sat in an ox hide near the mabwaita. The visitors agreed to pay a sheep or a
goat. They then entered the house through the back door (kurgaap sang.) This was used by the prospective
husband at this time of taking the daughter of the home to be his bride.
2. Dowry Negotiations
Suuet-aap Tuuga (dowry negotiations) involved a number of persons whereby a discussion about the dowry was
agreed upon. It was mandatory for the girl’s parents to know where the cattle came from so they would ask; “Ata
tuugap lugeet?” (How many of the cattle did the groom capture in a raid?) “Ata tuugap mabwai?” (How many of
the cattle are from the father of the groom?) “Ata tuugap mwaai?” (How many cattle’s are from the sisters of the
groom?). This was the event where the animals for the dowry were brought to the salt troughs to be viewed by the
bride’s family.
During the rateet the groom along with a herd’s boy and a cheplakweet (nurse girl for a young child) left for the
bride’s home where they would stand on the mabwaita upon arrival. The bride was then called to come and meet
the groom and would refuse until her father offered her a sheep or a goat. When she came out she would stand by
the groom and her father and brother would bring horns filled with butter. Four pieces of sereetyoot (green kikuyu
grass) had been placed in the butter as a symbol of life. The father would take some butter and anoint the grooms
forehead. The betrothal was then confirmed by the man and girl tying seguutyet on each other’s wrist. Seguutyet
was a special grass used for tying in the wedding ceremony. Keeset (loosely translating to the word ‘harvesting’)
or Keipsis (loosely translating to ‘taking’) was the day before the bride was to come to the groom’s home. A child
between the ages of eight and ten years old was sent to the bride’s family to inform them that the marriage
ceremony would be the next day.
3. Engagement (Koito)
‘Koito’ means to give away. This is a very special event whereby the bridegroom’s family goes to the bride’s
home officially to meet them. Here the groom is required to attend the engagement. The groom’s parents are
usually invited to a room for dowry negotiations and so that they can get to know each other well to prevent them
from getting married to their own. Each kalenjin community has their own name of a totem animal that represents
them and they call it ‘Tiondo’.The families also discuss dowry negotiations and this is usually the most
challenging part. The bride’s family tries to prove to the groom’s family how they have raised their daughter.
Dowry negotiations usually varies among the kalenjin subtribes and it is usually in form of cows,goats,sheep and
it also depends on the status of the bride.
4. Dowry payment among the Kipsigis
Teta ne abai (cow under lactation) this signifies procreation to the new family, Eito ne iyumi tuga (Oxen), Teta
nebo riyotet/ne kotot (Cow nearing conception), Roriat (Heifer), Teta ne iyumi nego/iywoget (mature cow),
Kwesta/Kipkugeret (he goat for father), Kechiriet/Chepkugeret (Sheep for mother), Chepngabait/Roriat (token for
upkeep especially during childhood), Kechiriet nebo arwet (for mother-in-law so as to allow son in law call her
Boger alternatively Goat with lamb for mother-in-law so as to allow son in law call her Bogine. Mwaita (soap for
the father lump some money ranges between ten thousand to two hundred thousand shillings currently.
Chepletiot- Normally mature heifer where the son in law will later take back the calf. Normally Chepletiot is not
commonly paid but in a situation where the husband quarrels with his wife to the point where she goes to her real
father’s home and the mistake emanates from the husband the husband was compelled to pay chepletiot.

Nyoetab kaat (normally if the couple elopes without the consent of their immediate families the husband was
supposed to pay a fine of normally five thousand to twenty thousand to is wife father/family) kiome sanian
koigeny meaning that the assistance from in-laws is endless

According to Kipsigis, bride wealth is not seen as a buying price for a wife but as important aspects which
promotes stability in traditional marriages. The dowry payment acts as; compensation to the girl family for the
loss of her help and contribution in the homestead. Bride wealth seal the marriage covenant and is also a public
expression of appreciation for the coming of a new wife and mother into the man’s family. Dowry signifies that
the wife is not something cheap or insignificant. The bride wealth is a symbol of the girls presence in her home.
Bride wealth promotes friendship and cements relationship between the two families. Payment of the bride wealth
shows that the man is serious with his intention to marry.

According to Kipsigis a man will not be paid dowry for his daughter if he has not paid for his wife. Dowry
payment was always paid by Man family father to promote actual coexistence.

5. Wedding
It's called ‘katunisyiet’ or 'ratet' which means tying. This is where the bride's family now goes to the groom's
home to escort their daughter to her new home and on that process they also check on the dowry they agreed on.
It's a big ceremony and the neighbours and the whole village is invited. It's an expensive affair but the groom
should prove that he will be able to provide for his new family. The bride's father is the one that confirms the
dowry, he wears a traditional cloak made of animal skin, carries a special stick in his hand. He walks to the field
alongside the groom to go have a look at cattle for the dowry. He then marks the cattle for identification after
confirmation. 'Ratet' occurs just after dark in a room, where relations of both parties gather together, they sit
around small pot of beer which is decorated with 'korosek' a sacred plant. The guest drinks through a long tubes.
The groom and bride sit on the opposite sides of officiating elder. The plates of grass (segutyet) is made then
anointed with butter is blessed. Then the leaves of the sacred plant is carried around the groom and bride four
times. The elder is chanting blessings and asking for prosperity of their home. Then the groom ties the bride's
hand with his hand too, also the bride will do the same to show faithfulness in their marriage. When it's done
people celebrate and jubilation continues through the night.

Conclusion
Marriage among the kalenjin, as is evident from the amount of time and resources allocated to the events and
practices, is therefore a very special and important aspect of the community. It brings out the diversity of the
kalenjin community and also it ensures the continuity of the families and the clans and it shows how young men
and women from the community advance from young men and women to mature and old people ready to
embrace marriage and the new life. It is also noteworthy that the Kalenjins, despite being divided into many sub-
tribes share almost all aspects of their culture, therefore, wherever we have pointed one sub-tribe’s practice, it is
not to mean it is exclusive, they are common among most if not all the communities.
We end our submission by saying ‘Kongoi,’ Thank You!
 GROUP MEMBERS

1. Mellanie Chepkoech - 1045631

2. Vivian Njeri Murage - 1019072
3. Penelope Chepkoech - 1048130
4. Elizabeth Kuria - 1034214
5. Joy Stacy Cheruto - 1046694
6. Allan Ian Chebii - 1046770
7. Kipkurui Gilbert Koech - 1045601
8. Kiprop Brenda Chemutai - 1048074
9. Tiffany Wangari Methu - 1046779

10. Irungu Marycecilia Wanja - 1046681

11. Gloria Ng’eno - 1046693

12. Collins Kipchirchir Rop - 1045636

13. Jasmine Bungei - 1047057

14. Dylan Kipchumba - 1047000

 THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OF EASTERN AFRICA

FACULTY OF LAW

GROUP WORK

COURSE TITLE: FAMILY LAW

COURSE CODE: CLS 201

LECTURER: DR. NJERI KANG’ETHE