Peer reviewer: Pham Thi Giang- HA163074 8/10

Outline: 6/6
Answer: 2/4

Nowadays, environmental concerns are too large to be controlled by

individuals or governments. To put it another way, it is a global issue.
How much do you agree or disagree?

World pollution is a critical issue in

the twenty-first century. The Introduction
environment is currently so polluted
that immediate action is required.

A single person cannot be Thesis Statement

responsible for global pollution, but
everyone should take care of his or
her environment. Furthermore,
environmental challenges must be
addressed on a global scale.
A thesis statement needs to be
shortened in order to get to the point.
+ People should take care of the environment
Environmental problems must be addressed on a
global scale

Many presentations, conferences,

and worldwide summits have Collective Responsibility
recently been convened to address
waste treatment, recycling, and soil
and water pollution. Joint efforts and
consolidation can only assist in the
ongoing mutual struggle against
environmental calamity.
Governments, for example, should
assist enterprises and groups
involved in manufacturing, industry,
or agriculture to create
environmentally responsible
solutions. These might include
specific laws, recycling initiatives,
and training to assist apply ISO
certifications, among other things.

Individuals' effect on the

environment, on the other hand, Individual Responsibility
should not be overlooked. We will
never be able to appropriately care
for our planet unless we
acknowledge that it is our home.
Every day, we must contribute to the
preservation of nature and the
environment. For example, we
should constantly remember to
preserve energy by turning off lights,
laptops, and anything else we are
not using. Our next responsibility is
to sort rubbish and toss bulk items
exclusively in specified places.
Vehicles may also be
environmentally beneficial. For Confusedÿ
example, we must avoid + Vehicles have a negative impact on
the environment
over-accelerating engines or utilizing + The air conditioner in this sentence
air conditioning in rural areas where may make it difficult for the reader to tell
it is preferable to preserve energy by if it is an air conditioner being used in a
car or a home.
simply opening the windows.

To summarize, environmental issues

should be addressed by both local Conclusion
and international governments, as
well as people. Everyone should
care for the environment, and we
must raise our children to be
conscientious citizens of a clean and
conserved earth.

1. Did the reverse outline you created reveal any errors in unity? If so,
what were they, and how could you revise the paper to eliminate these
errors?
There is no errorr in unity. No claims or proofs that possibly contradict the
writer’s statement in the introduction could be found.

2. Did the reverse outline you created reveal any errors in the
organization? If so, what were they, and how could you revise the paper
to eliminate these errors?
The writer should rearrange the sequence of the first and the second positions
since the collective responsibility is stated after the individual one. Or to make
it more simple, the sequence should be changed in Collective and Individual
Answer:

1. Unity:
I believe that in your first response, you should provide some proof that your essay on unity
is free of faults.
For example:
- Do all the sentences in the paragraph support the topic sentence of the paragraph?
+ Topic sentence:
+ Supporting details:
+ Example:

2. Organization:
It has one sentence that makes the readers confused about the content:
Vehicles may also be environmentally beneficial. For example, we must avoid over-
accelerating engines or utilizing air conditioning in rural areas where it is preferable to
preserve energy by simply opening the windows. ÿ( I took notes in the outline)