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Personal Development
Quarter 2 - Module 1
Dynamics of Attraction and Love
Personal Development — Senior High School
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 - Module 1: Dynamics of Attraction and
Love First Edition, 2020
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Personal
Development
Quarter 2 - Module 1
Dynamics of Attraction and Love
FAIR USE AND CONTENT DISCLAIMER This SLM (Self Learning Module) is for educational purposes only. Borrowed materia
Table of Contents
This is a very interesting module since the topic is about personal relationships. The
concept of relationship is very broad, complex, and varies from person to person. This
module will provide information regarding the concept in a meaningful and easier way. This
aims to introduce the different types of relationships depending on the nature of the
interaction.
Researchers have found that relationships are important to a person's happiness.
The absence of close relationships can produce negative effects such as feeling worthless,
powerless, and alienated. We can say that every relationship has specific objectives or
purposes that a person wishes to pursue, either because of need, want, and/or desire. The
very first meaningful relationship every person encounters is with one's mother. The
mother- child relationship is already established even before birth because of the
connection. The other connections a person encounters will be tackled in this module.
This module contains varied activities that can help you build and maintain a good
relationship with your family, friends, and significant other by identifying the appropriate
way of expressing your attraction and love to them.
1. Personal Relationships
3. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?
4. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like them
back?
5. What act refers to deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with
another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve
as a guide to one's behavior and thinking?
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment
6. Which part of the love-struck phase involves focusing one's attention on a particular
person or desire?
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment
7. What does Robert Stenberg emphasize the type of love that is characterized by
intimate, non-passionate, and long-term commitment?
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous
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8. According to Robert Stenberg, what type of love is an ideal and complete form of
love with intimacy, passion, and commitment?
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous
9. Who among the ancient Greeks below, whose name is defined as selfless
or unconditional love?
A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia
10. What type of love is named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a healthy
“self-compassion” love towards one's self?
A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia
11. If you were to choose a name for your family, which of the following Ancient
Greek names would you prefer?
12. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for friendship?
A. love C. attraction
B. trust D. attachment
14. What factor of attraction explains the developed feeling between people who always
see each other?
A. Reciproxity C. Proximity
B. Similarity D. Physical Attraction
15. Which of the following components is NOT suggested in Triangular Theory of Love?
A. Attachment C. Intimacy
B. Passion D. Commitment
iV
Lesson
)
1 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
What's Pew
Family
1
What Is It
As you have listed the people with whom you have close connections in your
Activity 1, now you will know what kind of close connections you have with them. These are
personal relationships, family relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships.
Personal Relationship
This kind of relationship refers to the association and close connection between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow and form
mutual experiences. Personal relationships generally refer to family, friends, and significant
others.
Changes in the physical and cognitive aspects go along with the changes in
relationships especially with family and friends during the adolescence period. Moreover, in
the adolescence stage, a new understanding of one's self occurs. This may include
independence, identity, and self-esteem. A person's personal relationships then play a
significant role in the adolescent's pursuit of self-understanding.
Family Relationship
Family is generally defined as people living together in a household who are related
by birth, marriage, or adoption. It may include siblings and parents whom you grew up with.
One's family relationship can also be extended to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
though not living together. In a family, roles are also defined. Parents and older relatives'
role is to guide, discipline, and support younger members.
Family bond plays a vital role in a person's well-being. It helps form other kinds of
relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships bound by love and closeness.
On the other hand, relationships, in general, may involve arguments, disagreements,
moments of anger, and hurt. There may be a usual increase in arguments and conflicts with
parents when adolescents assert their independence as their way of finding self-identity.
However, these are short-lived for families when there is love, care, and understanding.
In families, the physical expression of bonds also varies. Family members express
affection through hugging, kissing on the cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the
hair, patting on the back, etc. in whatever ways affection is expressed. These actions show
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closeness and respect for each other.
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Friendship
Friends are the people who are not related to us by blood but we choose to interact
with them. They are the people with whom we share our trust, respect, and care. We feel
that we can confide in them and we want to spend time with them. Friendship is a reciprocal
relationship. Both people must see each other as a friend for the relationship to exist. Good
friendships are mutually respectful, supportive and share common interests and ideas. It
should be built on honesty, support, and loyalty.
There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to some
friends than others. Some friendships, especially if they have only known each other for a
short time, may not share personal issues or concerns. Usually, you may find that you feel
more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known well.
Furthermore, friends who are very close and have known each other well are
referred to as "best friends or close friends". Some people have many friends, while others
may only have one or two. It is not in the number of people with whom you can call friends
but in the quality and that everyone is different.
Some friendships can be close where they choose to greet each other by hugging or
kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact or may simply shake
hands. However, romantic contact or being intimate physically is not appropriate in
a friendship.
Romantic Relationship
A romantic relationship is when you feel strongly attracted to the other person. The
attraction encompasses a person's physical attributes and personality. This should be
reciprocated by the other person in the relationship.
People in a romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways
to contact each other by phone and the likes. An example of a romantic relationship for
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adolescents is between a boyfriend and girlfriend.
5
Arguments and disagreements in romantic relationships also occur. These
arguments can be avoided through effective communication and understanding. In other
cases, if there are frequent arguments, the two people involved may decide to seek help
from friends or adults.
As two people continually share interests and desires to live their lives together,
they eventually discuss their future plans. For adolescents, various kinds of physical contact
are not appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips, and
sexual intercourse. These activities may lead to premarital sex and untimely pregnancy.
And so, for the romantic relationship to be successful for both adolescents, it is built on love,
trust, respect, support, and acceptance.
What's More
Family
My Relationships
Guide Questions:
1. How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of your family, friends, and
partner (if there's any)?
2. What made it easy or difficult for you to illustrate it?
3. What are the new things you realized or discovered about your personal relationships?
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What I Can Do
Activity 3. Journal Reflection
1. From your responses in Activity 2, how will you improve your personal relationships
with your family and friends?
2. How will you set boundaries with your friends and significant other (if you have) so
that you will have a healthy relationship?
7
LeSS”n
WAYS OF SHOWING
2
ATTRACTION AND LOVE
What's In
8
What Is It
In an attempt to understand the dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment various
approaches explored it. It can be explained through physiological, emotional, and even
historical contexts.
b. Proximity can be explained when people tend to get attracted to people who
are geographically closer to them. They are more likely to develop feelings of
mutual familiarity with the people who live close to them. For example, being
attracted to a classmate since you regularly see the person.
c. Similarity is when people choose partners whom they find similarities such as
social class, religious beliefs, and education. It explains when two people share
more attitudes and opinions, the more they will want to do the same activities. As
a result, they would create a strong bond between them.
d. Reciprocity means people like others who like them back. The more a person is
liked by someone, the more he/she behaves in ways that promote mutual
feelings of liking.
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Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to
another. Usually, long-lasting commitments are exchanged when people are attached even
across time and space.
The combination of these three (3) components of love can produce eight (8) types
of love or relationship as shown in the table.
Types of Intimacy Passion Commitment Example
Love
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first sight or
being obsessed with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or
Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated by a
passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking passion
such as those between
family members or close
friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded emotionally and
physically to another person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love
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III. Theory Love Styles
Ancient Greeks studied love and giving each type a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers
a theory derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.
Philia — Affectionate Love usually runs deep in true friendship. It occurs without
romantic attraction between friends or family members. It is also called brotherly love when
both people share the same values and respect. It can be shown by engaging in deep
conversation, exchanging beliefs and imperfections, being open and trustworthy, and being
supportive in difficult times.
Pragma — Enduring Love is described as a mature love that develops over time.
To reach this relationship commitment and efforts are needed. With the partner by your
side, you are "standing in love" instead of "falling in love". It is expressed by strengthening
the bond, seeking and showing effort with your partner, and choosing to work with your
partner.
Storge — Familiar love is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children,
as well as best friends. It's an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional
connection. It usually flows between parents and children or childhood friends. Ways to
show this love are sacrificing one's time, self, or personal pleasures, showing gratitude, and
quickly forgiving. You also share memorable and impactful moments.
Eros — Romantic Love is characterized by personal infatuation and physical pleasure.
It is a passionate love displayed through physical affection. In this case, admiration is
focused on someone's physical body. Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as
hugging and kissing even if it not appropriate yet.
Ludus — Playful love is a child-like and flirtatious love found in the beginning. This
type of love consists of teasing and playful motives between two people. It is shown by
having fun together.
Mania — Obsessive Love as named is described as obsessiveness or madness
over love. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness. To avoid it, obsessive or
possessive behavior must be recognized to be properly addressed. One should learn to
focus on oneself more than another person.
Philautia — Self Love is having a healthy “self-compassion” towards one's self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and don't ignore your personal needs. Self-love
begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.
Agape — Selfless Love is the highest love to offer. It is an empathetic attitude of
love. It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is considered
unconditional love. It is expressed by helping the other person improve his life.
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What's More
Activity S. Love Language in the Family
Directions: This activity aims to help you assess your preference in showing your love
towards your parents, friends, and significant other.
Take the "Love Language Personal Profile" based on Dr. Gary Cahpman's
The S Love Languages using this link https://bit.Iy/3cpjE1H.
If you do not have internet access, you can refer to the descriptions below. List the descriptions
that most likely refer to you. Your love language is usually the one that has the most
descriptions.
Love Language Description
• "Actions don't always speak louder than the word".
• Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you.
Words of • Wanting to hear "I love you" or other positive compliments you're your
partner. And if you don't hear it, then you might feel unloved.
Affirmation
• Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
• You wanted to hear kind and encouraging words that build you up.
• Doing nice things for other people and anything you do to ease the burden
of the other person are "acts of service."
• Whether it's changing someone's oil, cleaning the house, or giving a back
Acts of Service rub, doing things to help make the other person happy is what this one is
about.
• Helping with homework can be an expression of love for you.
• The words you wanted to hear are "Let me do it for you".
• You value giving and receiving gifts and some do not.
• So, if you measure your partner's love by how many gifts you are given,
then your love language is "receiving gifts."
Receiving Gifts • Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of the gifts
wanted on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
• A missed birthday or a thoughtless gift would be disastrous.
• You measure the quality of love by how much time other people want to
spend with you.
• If you don't get enough "together time," then you might feel unloved.
Quality Time • Being there for this type of person is critical, but being there — with the TV
off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks standby makes you
feel truly special and loved.
• Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be hurtful.
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What's I Have Learned
What's I Can Oo
1
Summary
1. Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
2. Different Types of Relationships: family, friendship, romantic relationships.
3. Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment.
4. A factor of Attraction is physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity.
5. Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg: Intimacy,
Passion, and Commitment
6. The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love:
Non love, liking, infatuation, empty love, fatuous, companionate, romantic
consummate
7. Eight love styles name after Greek
names: PHILIA — Affectionate Love
PRAGMA — Enduring Love
STORGE — Familiar love
EROS — Romantic Love
LUDUS —Playful love
MANIA —Obsessive Love
PHILAUTIA —Self Love
AGAPE —Selfless Love
8. Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary
Cahpman Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
9. Important aspects to nurture a relationship are the following: mutual respect,
compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good
communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal dignity,
vulnerability
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Assessment: (Post-Test)
Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the correct answer among the given choices.
Write your answer in your paper or notebook.
1. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with another
person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve as a
guide to one's behavior and thinking.
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment
3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people whom they
find similarities with each other?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity
4. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for your family?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus
B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia
5. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others whom they
find physically attractive?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity
1
8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by
the intimate, non-passionate type of love with a long-term commitment.
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous
A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia
10. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for friendship?
11. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is an ideal and complete
form of love with intimacy, passion, and commitment.
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B.Companionate D. Fatuous
13. Which of the following combination of the components of love best describes a
“romantic relationship” based on Triangular Theory of Love?