Senior High School

Personal Development
Quarter 2 - Module 1
Dynamics of Attraction and Love
Personal Development — Senior High School
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 - Module 1: Dynamics of Attraction and
Love First Edition, 2020

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 Senior High School

Personal
Development
Quarter 2 - Module 1
Dynamics of Attraction and Love

Department of the Education • Republic of the

Philippines

FAIR USE AND CONTENT DISCLAIMER This SLM (Self Learning Module) is for educational purposes only. Borrowed materia
 Table of Contents

What This Module is About...............................................................................................i

What I Need to Know........................................................................................................i
How to Learn from this Module..........................................................................................ii
Icons of this Module...........................................................................................................ii
What I Know......................................................................................................................iii

Lesson 1: Personal Relationships..........................................1

What I Need to Know.................................................................................1
What's New: The People around Me.........................................................1
What Is It: Personal Relationship...............................................................2
What's More: My Family, Friends and Significant Other's Portrait............4
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection.............................................................5

Lesson 2: Ways of Showing Attraction and Love

What I Need to Know..................................................................................6
What's In: The People I am Attracted to.....................................................6
What Is It: I. Biological Model of Love.........................................................7
II. Triangular Theory of Love.......................................................................8
III. Theory Love Styles................................................................................9
What's More: Love Language in the Family..............................................10
What I Have Learned: Love Combination...................................................11
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection.............................................................11
Summary........................................................................................................................12
Assessment: (Post Test)..................................................................................................13
Key to Answers................................................................................................................15
References.....................................................................................................................16
What This Module is About

This is a very interesting module since the topic is about personal relationships. The
concept of relationship is very broad, complex, and varies from person to person. This
module will provide information regarding the concept in a meaningful and easier way. This
aims to introduce the different types of relationships depending on the nature of the
interaction.
Researchers have found that relationships are important to a person's happiness.
The absence of close relationships can produce negative effects such as feeling worthless,
powerless, and alienated. We can say that every relationship has specific objectives or
purposes that a person wishes to pursue, either because of need, want, and/or desire. The
very first meaningful relationship every person encounters is with one's mother. The
mother- child relationship is already established even before birth because of the
connection. The other connections a person encounters will be tackled in this module.
This module contains varied activities that can help you build and maintain a good
relationship with your family, friends, and significant other by identifying the appropriate
way of expressing your attraction and love to them.

The following are the lessons contained in this module:

1. Personal Relationships

2. Ways of Showing Attraction and Love

W'hat/ JVeen to Know

At the end of this module, you should be able to:

1. Discuss an understanding of teenage relationships, including the acceptable and

unacceptable expressions of attractions (ESP-PD11/12PR-lii-9.1); and
2. Express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment (ESP-
PD11/12PR- lii-9.2).
How to Learn from this Module
To achieve the objectives cited above, you are to do the following:
• Take your time to read the lessons carefully.
• Follow the directions and/or instructions in the activities and exercises diligently.
• Answer all the given tests and exercises.

Icons of this Module

This part contains learning objectives that
What I Need to Know are set for you to learn as you go along the
module.
This is an assessment as to your level of
knowledge on the subject matter at hand,
What I know
meant specifically to gauge prior related
knowledge.

This part connects the previous lesson with

What's In
that of the current one.

An introduction to the new lesson through

What's New various activities before it will be presented
to you.

These are discussions of the activities as a

What is It way to deepen your discovery and
understanding of the concept.

These are follow-up activities that are

What's More intended for you to practice further to
master the competencies.

Activities designed to process what you have

What I Have Learned
learned from the lesson.

These are tasks that are designed to

showcase your skills and knowledge
What I can do
gained and applied to real-life concerns
and situations.
 What I Know
Multiple Choice. Select the correct answer among the given choices by writing the letter in
your answer sheet.
1. What is that close connection between people, formed by emotional bonds and
interactions?

A. Personal Development C. Intimacy

B. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

2. Which of the following is NOT appropriate to do as an adolescent in expressing your

attraction to your significant other?

A. Communicating C. Smiling at each other

B. Intimate physical activities D. Sharing plans

3. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?

A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity

B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like them
back?

A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity

B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

5. What act refers to deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with
another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve
as a guide to one's behavior and thinking?

A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

6. Which part of the love-struck phase involves focusing one's attention on a particular
person or desire?

A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

7. What does Robert Stenberg emphasize the type of love that is characterized by
intimate, non-passionate, and long-term commitment?

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

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8. According to Robert Stenberg, what type of love is an ideal and complete form of
love with intimacy, passion, and commitment?

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

9. Who among the ancient Greeks below, whose name is defined as selfless
or unconditional love?

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

10. What type of love is named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a healthy
“self-compassion” love towards one's self?

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

11. If you were to choose a name for your family, which of the following Ancient
Greek names would you prefer?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus

B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

12. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for friendship?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus

B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

13. Which of the following is described as the love-struck phase of relationship?

A. love C. attraction
B. trust D. attachment

14. What factor of attraction explains the developed feeling between people who always
see each other?

A. Reciproxity C. Proximity
B. Similarity D. Physical Attraction

15. Which of the following components is NOT suggested in Triangular Theory of Love?

A. Attachment C. Intimacy
B. Passion D. Commitment

iV
 Lesson
)
1 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

W'hat / JVeed to xnow

Pre-historic humans were interacting already through different forms of behavior

such as smiling, greeting each other, showing love, affection, and loyalty, and/or hunting
food together. These were all necessary for their survival especially in the group that they
belonged to. The primary reason why human beings need to belong is for survival.
Today, belongingness still exists since it has many benefits such as having a
support system when you need someone to share your sadness, happiness, and other
concerns, especially among adolescents. In the adolescence stage, a sense of identity
begins to form which involves shaping values and setting future goals.
Adolescents also develop social skills and interact with the people around them.
Nurturing relationships with other people help us to thrive. Hence, we need to understand
the relationships formed by teenagers among the people around them.

What's Pew

Activity 1. The People Around Me

Directions: Using available materials at your home, draw three rectangles as shown below.
Lists down the people whom you considered as family, friends, and partner. You
may also draw or put pictures of them if you want. Then in one sentence write a
description of your relationships below each of your drawings or pictures.

Family

Partner YOU Friends

(if there’ any)

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 What Is It
As you have listed the people with whom you have close connections in your
Activity 1, now you will know what kind of close connections you have with them. These are
personal relationships, family relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships.

Personal Relationship
This kind of relationship refers to the association and close connection between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow and form
mutual experiences. Personal relationships generally refer to family, friends, and significant
others.

Changes in the physical and cognitive aspects go along with the changes in
relationships especially with family and friends during the adolescence period. Moreover, in
the adolescence stage, a new understanding of one's self occurs. This may include
independence, identity, and self-esteem. A person's personal relationships then play a
significant role in the adolescent's pursuit of self-understanding.

Family Relationship
Family is generally defined as people living together in a household who are related
by birth, marriage, or adoption. It may include siblings and parents whom you grew up with.
One's family relationship can also be extended to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
though not living together. In a family, roles are also defined. Parents and older relatives'
role is to guide, discipline, and support younger members.

Family bond plays a vital role in a person's well-being. It helps form other kinds of
relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships bound by love and closeness.
On the other hand, relationships, in general, may involve arguments, disagreements,
moments of anger, and hurt. There may be a usual increase in arguments and conflicts with
parents when adolescents assert their independence as their way of finding self-identity.
However, these are short-lived for families when there is love, care, and understanding.

In families, the physical expression of bonds also varies. Family members express
affection through hugging, kissing on the cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the
hair, patting on the back, etc. in whatever ways affection is expressed. These actions show

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closeness and respect for each other.

3
Friendship
Friends are the people who are not related to us by blood but we choose to interact
with them. They are the people with whom we share our trust, respect, and care. We feel
that we can confide in them and we want to spend time with them. Friendship is a reciprocal
relationship. Both people must see each other as a friend for the relationship to exist. Good
friendships are mutually respectful, supportive and share common interests and ideas. It
should be built on honesty, support, and loyalty.

There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to some
friends than others. Some friendships, especially if they have only known each other for a
short time, may not share personal issues or concerns. Usually, you may find that you feel
more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known well.

Furthermore, friends who are very close and have known each other well are
referred to as "best friends or close friends". Some people have many friends, while others
may only have one or two. It is not in the number of people with whom you can call friends
but in the quality and that everyone is different.

Some friendships can be close where they choose to greet each other by hugging or
kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact or may simply shake
hands. However, romantic contact or being intimate physically is not appropriate in
a friendship.

Romantic Relationship
A romantic relationship is when you feel strongly attracted to the other person. The
attraction encompasses a person's physical attributes and personality. This should be
reciprocated by the other person in the relationship.

A romantic relationship is described as the closest form of relationship in which, the

two people who are involved will often describe themselves as being attracted to each other
and/or "in love". They feel a strong connection and bond with each other that they do not
feel with anyone else, even with close friends. The bond is also exclusive and
monogamous.

People in a romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways
to contact each other by phone and the likes. An example of a romantic relationship for

4
adolescents is between a boyfriend and girlfriend.

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 Arguments and disagreements in romantic relationships also occur. These
arguments can be avoided through effective communication and understanding. In other
cases, if there are frequent arguments, the two people involved may decide to seek help
from friends or adults.
As two people continually share interests and desires to live their lives together,
they eventually discuss their future plans. For adolescents, various kinds of physical contact
are not appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips, and
sexual intercourse. These activities may lead to premarital sex and untimely pregnancy.
And so, for the romantic relationship to be successful for both adolescents, it is built on love,
trust, respect, support, and acceptance.

What's More

Activity 2. My Family, Friends, and Significant Other's Portrait

Directions: Find a place to work in silence. Think about your family, friends, and significant
other (if there's any). Assess the quality of your relationships with them. On a
blank sheet of paper, draw the figure below. Illustrate the portrait of your family,
friends, and significant other (if there's any) in the designated box. Remember
that there is no right or wrong illustration. Your illustration should reflect how you
perceive your relationship with them right now. At the back of your paper,
answer the guide questions.

Family

Friendships Significant Other

My Relationships

Guide Questions:
1. How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of your family, friends, and
partner (if there's any)?
2. What made it easy or difficult for you to illustrate it?
3. What are the new things you realized or discovered about your personal relationships?

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 What I Can Do
Activity 3. Journal Reflection

Directions: Use the given questions to do your reflection journal.

1. From your responses in Activity 2, how will you improve your personal relationships
with your family and friends?

2. How will you set boundaries with your friends and significant other (if you have) so
that you will have a healthy relationship?

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 LeSS”n
WAYS OF SHOWING
2
ATTRACTION AND LOVE

What I Need to Know

Every human being has his way of expressing his attraction, love, and commitment
due to our different life experiences. When the attraction between two persons is discussed,
it is often perceived as based on physical appearance while this might be true to a certain
extent but there is more to the attraction.

According to Helen Fisher, attraction is primarily on physiology or certain hormones

that get attracted to others and are the first stage during the changes of personality
development which leads to closeness, love, and commitment. However, disappointments
in relationships occur usually because of the misunderstanding about the different ways of
expressing their attraction, love, and commitment. Thus, let us explore in this lesson how
we can express our attraction, love, and commitment to others.

What's In

Activity 4: The People I am Attracted to

Directions: Write down the name of the person/s that best fit each statement in the second
column. In the third column, write the reason/s of your attraction similar to the
statement given. You may answer as many as you can. The first statement is
given as an example.
Statement Name of Person/s Reasons
I am feeling attracted to him. Ben Lovely eyes
Beautiful smile
1. I like him/her because he/she is physically
attractive.
2. I am attracted to him/her because I am familiar
with him/her and we often see each other.
3.I am attracted to him/her because we are alike.
4. I am attracted to him/her because we have the
same feelings or we like each other.

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 What Is It
In an attempt to understand the dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment various
approaches explored it. It can be explained through physiological, emotional, and even
historical contexts.

I. Biological Model of Love

As proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are three brain systems of love:
lust, attraction, and attachment. Each also involves different neurochemicals in the brain.
Depending on a person, a love relationship can start in any of these three.

Lust refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity. It is

also described as a sex drive associated primarily with estrogens and androgens.

Attraction is described as the love-struck phase. It involves focusing attention on a

particular person. Many factors influence attraction such as physical attractiveness, proximity,
similarity, and reciprocity.

a. Physical Attractiveness is one of the primary determinants of romantic

attraction. Most people prefer whom they consider physically attractive especially
in the early stages of dating.

b. Proximity can be explained when people tend to get attracted to people who
are geographically closer to them. They are more likely to develop feelings of
mutual familiarity with the people who live close to them. For example, being
attracted to a classmate since you regularly see the person.

c. Similarity is when people choose partners whom they find similarities such as
social class, religious beliefs, and education. It explains when two people share
more attitudes and opinions, the more they will want to do the same activities. As
a result, they would create a strong bond between them.

d. Reciprocity means people like others who like them back. The more a person is
liked by someone, the more he/she behaves in ways that promote mutual
feelings of liking.
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 Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to
another. Usually, long-lasting commitments are exchanged when people are attached even
across time and space.

II. Triangular Theory of Love

There are three main components of love as suggested by Robert Stenberg
(1988). These are intimacy, passion, and commitment. The relationships vary and
depend on the presence or absence of each of these components.

Intimacy is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy.

It is characterized by closeness, connectedness, and boundedness.

Passion is described as an intense emotion towards a person. It is also shown as

compelling interest for someone. Like having a desire to spend time with a person most of
the time.
Commitment is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements with
another person. Wherein, the values of integrity and respect are evident in the relationship.
Ways to express commitment in a relationship are showing loyalty and conveying honesty.

The combination of these three (3) components of love can produce eight (8) types
of love or relationship as shown in the table.
Types of Intimacy Passion Commitment Example
Love
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first sight or
being obsessed with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or
Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated by a
passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking passion
such as those between
family members or close
friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded emotionally and
physically to another person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love

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III. Theory Love Styles
Ancient Greeks studied love and giving each type a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers
a theory derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.
Philia — Affectionate Love usually runs deep in true friendship. It occurs without
romantic attraction between friends or family members. It is also called brotherly love when
both people share the same values and respect. It can be shown by engaging in deep
conversation, exchanging beliefs and imperfections, being open and trustworthy, and being
supportive in difficult times.
Pragma — Enduring Love is described as a mature love that develops over time.
To reach this relationship commitment and efforts are needed. With the partner by your
side, you are "standing in love" instead of "falling in love". It is expressed by strengthening
the bond, seeking and showing effort with your partner, and choosing to work with your
partner.
Storge — Familiar love is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children,
as well as best friends. It's an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional
connection. It usually flows between parents and children or childhood friends. Ways to
show this love are sacrificing one's time, self, or personal pleasures, showing gratitude, and
quickly forgiving. You also share memorable and impactful moments.
Eros — Romantic Love is characterized by personal infatuation and physical pleasure.
It is a passionate love displayed through physical affection. In this case, admiration is
focused on someone's physical body. Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as
hugging and kissing even if it not appropriate yet.
Ludus — Playful love is a child-like and flirtatious love found in the beginning. This
type of love consists of teasing and playful motives between two people. It is shown by
having fun together.
Mania — Obsessive Love as named is described as obsessiveness or madness
over love. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness. To avoid it, obsessive or
possessive behavior must be recognized to be properly addressed. One should learn to
focus on oneself more than another person.
Philautia — Self Love is having a healthy “self-compassion” towards one's self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and don't ignore your personal needs. Self-love
begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.
Agape — Selfless Love is the highest love to offer. It is an empathetic attitude of
love. It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is considered
unconditional love. It is expressed by helping the other person improve his life.

1
 What's More
Activity S. Love Language in the Family
Directions: This activity aims to help you assess your preference in showing your love
towards your parents, friends, and significant other.

Take the "Love Language Personal Profile" based on Dr. Gary Cahpman's
The S Love Languages using this link https://bit.Iy/3cpjE1H.

If you do not have internet access, you can refer to the descriptions below. List the descriptions
that most likely refer to you. Your love language is usually the one that has the most
descriptions.
Love Language Description
• "Actions don't always speak louder than the word".
• Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you.
Words of • Wanting to hear "I love you" or other positive compliments you're your
partner. And if you don't hear it, then you might feel unloved.
Affirmation
• Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
• You wanted to hear kind and encouraging words that build you up.

• Doing nice things for other people and anything you do to ease the burden
of the other person are "acts of service."
• Whether it's changing someone's oil, cleaning the house, or giving a back
Acts of Service rub, doing things to help make the other person happy is what this one is
about.
• Helping with homework can be an expression of love for you.
• The words you wanted to hear are "Let me do it for you".
• You value giving and receiving gifts and some do not.
• So, if you measure your partner's love by how many gifts you are given,
then your love language is "receiving gifts."
Receiving Gifts • Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of the gifts
wanted on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
• A missed birthday or a thoughtless gift would be disastrous.

• You measure the quality of love by how much time other people want to
spend with you.
• If you don't get enough "together time," then you might feel unloved.
Quality Time • Being there for this type of person is critical, but being there — with the TV
off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks standby makes you
feel truly special and loved.
• Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be hurtful.

• A person whose primary language is physical touch is not very touchy.

• Hugs, pats on the back, holding a hand and thoughtful touches on the arm
can show excitement, concern, care, and love.
Physical Touch • Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can
be unforgivable and destructive.
• Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

1
 What's I Have Learned

Activity 6: Love Combination

Directions: Identify the perfect combination of a different theory of love styles that can
create something beautiful in your connection with your family, friends, and
significant other. Though there isn't a perfect equation for every relationship,
these combinations can provide a perspective on how to work various types of
love into your relationships.

Relationship Combination of Types of Love

Family + +
Friendship + +
Significant Other

What's I Can Oo

Activity 7: Journal Reflection

Directions: Based on What's More: Activity 6 and 7, upon knowing the results of your self-
assessment and the formula of relationship you have created, make a
reflection by doing the following in your journal notebook or a paper.
1. Write your love language and the love languages of your listed family members such
as parents and siblings, friends, and significant others.
2. Discuss how you can further express your love to them to grow your relationship
with them.

1
Summary
1. Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
2. Different Types of Relationships: family, friendship, romantic relationships.
3. Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment.
4. A factor of Attraction is physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity.
5. Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg: Intimacy,
Passion, and Commitment
6. The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love:
Non love, liking, infatuation, empty love, fatuous, companionate, romantic
consummate
7. Eight love styles name after Greek
names: PHILIA — Affectionate Love
PRAGMA — Enduring Love
STORGE — Familiar love
EROS — Romantic Love
LUDUS —Playful love
MANIA —Obsessive Love
PHILAUTIA —Self Love
AGAPE —Selfless Love
8. Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary
Cahpman Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
9. Important aspects to nurture a relationship are the following: mutual respect,
compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good
communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal dignity,
vulnerability

1
 Assessment: (Post-Test)
Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the correct answer among the given choices.
Write your answer in your paper or notebook.
1. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with another
person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve as a
guide to one's behavior and thinking.
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

2. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a

healthy “self-compassion” love towards one's self.
A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people whom they
find similarities with each other?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for your family?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus
B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

5. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others whom they
find physically attractive?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

6. It is described as the love-struck phase which is part of lust because it

involves focusing our attention on a particular person or desire.
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

7. What factor of attraction explains the developed intimate feeling between

classmates or neighbors?
A. Physical Attraction C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciproxity

1
8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by
the intimate, non-passionate type of love with a long-term commitment.
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

9. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered selfless

or unconditional love.

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

10. Which of the following Ancient Greek types of love is recommended for friendship?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus

B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

11. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is an ideal and complete
form of love with intimacy, passion, and commitment.

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B.Companionate D. Fatuous

12.Which of the following phrases best describes “attraction phase” of a relationship?

A. It is love-struck. C. Similarity unites.

B. Love grows when closer. D. It is a love at first sight.

13. Which of the following combination of the components of love best describes a
“romantic relationship” based on Triangular Theory of Love?

A. Intimacy and Passion

B. Passion and Commitment
C. Intimacy and Commitment
D. Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment

14. Which of the following is appropriate to do in expressing your attraction to

your significant other?

A. Kissing B. Smiling at each other

C. Intimate activities D. Invading personal space

15. This refers to the close connections between people, formed by

emotional bonds and interactions.

A. Personal Development C. Intimacy

B. Personal Relationship D. Commitment