SHOP MENU

Life

9 Subtle Signs Your

Parents Don't Respect
You

Pexels

By Carina Wolff
July 18, 2017

Everyone wants a good relationship with

their parents, but it can be difficult when
you grow older and feel like your mom and
dad still treat you like a helpless child. If
you have a hard time communicating with
them, you may want to look out for some
signs your parents don't respect you
enough. Although there may not be an easy
solution, acknowledging that your parents
view you a certain way can help you manage
your interactions moving forward — and
you may even be able to work with them to
remedy the problem.

ADVERTISEMENT

"Many times, dealing with disrespectful

parents make us feel like children all over
again," says therapist Ana M. Aluisy, MA,
LMHC, LMFT over email. "We may say or
do things that reflect a younger stage of our
life when confronted with disrespect from
parent, no matter how old we are. We
commonly see parents as authority figures,
and it can be difficult to stand up to any
kinds of authority, specially parents who
can bring out our deepest vulnerabilities."

Relationships can be mended, but it's good

to understand what's going on between you
and your parents so you can take the proper
steps to fix it. Here are nine subtle signs
that your parents don't respect you enough.

ADVERTISEMENT

1
They Show Up Unannounced

Pexels

They may be family, but just because you're

related doesn't mean they can come and go
in your personal space as they please.
Showing up unannounced even after you
ask them to call you first is a sign that don't
respect your wishes. "Disrespectful parents
are resisting of boundaries set by their
children because they believe that they
have that right to do as they please because
they're the parents," says Aluisy.

2
They Constantly Criticize You

Pexels

Your parents no doubt want you to be the

best version of yourself, but there's a
difference between giving you guidance and
advice and putting you down.
"Disrespectful parents constantly criticize
you and compare you with others who are
not facing the same circumstances," says
Aluisy. "This criticizing and comparing
undervalues your struggles and will
provably lead to you feeling worst."

ADVERTISEMENT

3
And They Do It In Front Of Others

Pexels

Parents who don't respect you will criticize

you and bring out your dirty laundry out in
front of others. "It's one thing that they do
it to you, but when they do it in front of
other people, they're disrespecting you to
the world and showing others that they can
treat you the same way," says Aluisy.

4
They Talk About You Behind Your Back

Pexels

A parent who doesn't respect you won't

hold back on what they have to say when
you aren't around, even to people close to
you. "They might talk to your friends or
partner behind your back in a negative
light," says Aluisy. "This sets a precedence
to talk behind your back, in addition giving
your friend or partner information that can
be used against you during arguments."

ADVERTISEMENT

5
They Talk Over You

Pexels

In conversations or discussions your voice,

is frequently dismissed. "You get that 'You
don’t know what you’re talking about'
feeling in their responses," says
psychotherapist Judi Cinéas over email.
"They may even attempt to explain what
you mean to others using their own words
to convey what they thought you should
have said."

6
They Don't Acknowledge Your
Accomplishments

Pexels

Your parents are likely going to point out

some parts of you they would like you to
improve, but a parent who truly disrespects
you will do this and ignore your positive
traits. "They do not prize your
accomplishments or acknowledge what's
going well," says psychologist Helen
Odessky over email. "If they do not
congratulate you on meaningful stages in
your life or your accomplishments, they
may not respect you."

ADVERTISEMENT

Diskon 70% Di Eats

Delivery
Pesan Makan Dari Rumah Lebih
Mudah Dengan Eats Delivery &
Nikmati Berbagai Promosi.

7
They Undermine Your Decisions

Pexels

"A more subtle sign is the undermining or

worse cases complete disregard for your
choices and decisions," says Cinéas. "This
can be a sign of a lack of confidence in your
own ability to make your own decisions."

8
They Interfere In Your Life

Pexels

A disrespectful parent does more than just

the overbearing mom who watches your
biological clock and wants to set you up
with everyone. "This level of meddling
interferes with any aspect of your life,
including relationships and jobs, where
they may feel within their rights to speak to
you and others involved any way they see fit
sometimes make decisions or demands that
can be costly to you," says Cinéas.

ADVERTISEMENT

Diskon 70% Di Eats

Delivery
Pesan Makan Dari Rumah Lebih
Mudah Dengan Eats Delivery &
Nikmati Berbagai Promosi.

Traveloka Eats

Pesan Sekarang

9
They Use "Yes, But" Frequently

Pexels

If all your parents sentences are followed by

"but," they may not be giving you the
respect you deserve. "For example, they
might say, 'You look good, but if you did
something about your fashion sense, you'd
look even better,'" says Odessky. "This is
another form of criticism."