NAME: Helen Rountree

Shortlisting task

Imagine you are a tutor on an undergraduate pre-sessional programme.

A student, in the final month of the pre-sessional course, has handed in
the piece of work attached and needs feedback on it. Read through the
assignment title and then the essay in order to decide what oral
feedback you would provide to the student in a 10-minute one-to-one
tutorial. Please summarise the feedback you would give in the space
below, and provide a rationale for your approach. Be sure to insert your
name above.

Feedback:
Overall
 A good start on structure
 A fairly consistent formal register, although avoid over using first person “I” as
your essay needs to be objective.
 Six concepts mentioned

? What is the instruction in the essay question? (Analyse the group) Describe vs
Analyse.
Look at slide 19:
https://unihub.mdx.ac.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0032/187547/Essay-Writing.pdf
In paragraph 3 description is clear- What? self-seeking roles
Where/who? Football team
But analysis is missing- Why is it a problem if a member of your football team never
passes the ball? What does that prevent other players from doing?
Check that you are analysing the group according to the other 5 concepts. Ask the
question “Why?”
- Particularly in conclusion- Why should we know these factors? And how does that
improve our group working skills?

Content
 Clear topic sentences
 An example is linked to each concept (except pgh 5 and 7- how did having the
same goals help in your football team? How did cohesiveness affect the
team?)

? Look at paragraph 4 can you identify the topic sentence, supporting with example
& evidence and concluding sentence? Check all paragraphs contain evidence and a
concluding sentence that links to your topic sentence.
Use this to help: https://bcsmn.libguides.com/c.php?g=889348&p=6393249

? Are paragraphs 5 & 6 finished? You need to add more evidence to develop your
arguments here

Cohesion & Structure

  Range of linkers (However, therefore, because, such as)
 Evidence of signposting (The first factor is…/ Thirdly… / In conclusion)

? Syntax- Look at the sentence below from paragraph 3- The sentence is too long.
Check each sentence has a subject-verb-object. Where should a new sentence start
instead of using a comma (,)?

In those roles, only self-seeking roles are not good for a group, if a member play
those roles in a group, he will do something good for himself but not good for the
group and those acts will decline the group’s cohesion, such as our class football
team, a member never pass the ball to other member because he want to show
himself.

Range & Accuracy of Language

See close marked paragraph and check the rest of your essay for similar recurring
errors
(Tense, infinitive vs gerund, spelling, Subject-Verb agreement)

Use of Source Materials

 Accurately embedded reference using “According to…”

? Limited use of references- what other evidence have you found/read? Use library/
online journal sources. https://librarysearch.mdx.ac.uk/discovery/search?
vid=44MUN_INST:hendon

Rationale:
With 10 minutes it is important to prioritise the feedback. So for example, regarding language
accuracy, I find focusing on student errors at a discrete level unhelpful unless the errors
seriously impede style or intelligibility. I have found the most efficient and significant
improvements come when students focus on genre and style, content, cohesion and
coherence, and organisational aspects of their writing. In previous pre-sessional courses I
have kept a list of common language errors until we reached the proofreading stage to use
in class activities.

With this piece of work, as it is in the final month of the pre-sessional course and I am
unsure how many more sessions I would have to focus on language, I have close marked a
small section of the work and would ask the student to proofread their essay for reoccurring
errors. I usually use a correction code to do this.

I think it is important to include positive feedback to motivate students and during the tutorial
I would start with a positive followed by a constructive suggestion for each marking criteria.
The marking criteria I have used to organise my feedback is adapted from a previous EAP
course I worked on.
I phrase my points to work on as questions to enable students to think independently and
engage with the writing process more than simply telling them the answers. I have included
useful websites to help them and would also support them with course specific materials that
we have covered in class. Questions also allow them to continue the review of their work
after the tutorial with thoughts to take away.

I have found in the past that how much feedback I can get through in a tutorial varies from
student to student so I start with main overall points and adapt my feedback according to
timing. The key point I want this student to think about is how much analysis there is in the
essay vs how much description. I hope this will lead them to complete their argument in
paragraph 5 and 6 and to improve their conclusion by adding a more evaluative concluding
statement.

Writing assignment: Group Working Skills

 Think of a group that you have belonged to, connected with work or
studying.
 Use the concepts in the chapter you have read to analyse the group. Try
to provide examples from your experience of the group for each of the
important concepts explained in the chapter.

Group working skills

When I studied in China, group working skills are (Wrong tense) not important
because we often worked along (Spelling) and have (Wrong tense) a test when the
term finished. However, (the) (unnecessary artice) group working skills are very
important in the UK; teachers often ask us working (gerund/infinitive?) in a group.
Therefore, we need learn (gerund/infinitive?) something about it. This essay will talk
about 6 factors to affected (gerund/infinitive?) groups.
The first factor is size. The group size should not too more or too low. There is an
idiom “Too many chefs spoil the broth”, if a group has too many members, we cannot
make everyone fell happy and maybe some members have different idea. However,
if a group has not enough members, such as my college class football team, before
the match began, we had to ask somebody engaged in our team because we had
not enough members. Therefore, it is very important for a group to having a fair size.

The second aspect is roles. Everyone has different gifts, someone is good at
harmonization, and someone can easy to find information. According to Payne and
Whittaker (2000:62), there are three main roles in a group: group task roles, group
maintenance and self-seeking roles. In those roles, only self-seeking roles are not
good for a group, if a member play those roles in a group, he will do something good
for himself but not good for the group and those acts will decline the group’s
cohesion, such as our class football team, a member never pass the ball to other
member because he want to show himself.

Thirdly, norms are very important. If a group does not has a good rule and cannot
punish the member who broke the rule, the group can not development or easy to
achieve their goals, such as my college class football team, because we did not has
rules, almost all the train had absentees.

Fourthly, the group members should have same goals, if the group members do not
have same target, they will do something different with other members.

The fifthly aspect is structure. When I just took part in the department football team,
we need choice a captain and decided who the centre of attack is or defence.
Finally, cohesiveness is also very important. According to Payne and Whittaker
(2000:66), high cohesiveness can make the group members have high morale and
more mature. However, if the cohesiveness is too high, the group will be blind, the
members will do not like listen something different.

In conclusion, there are 6 factors can affect groups. There are sizes, roles, norms,
goals, structure and cohesiveness. We should know those factors and use that
knowledge to improve our group working skills.

Payne, E. and Whittaker, L., (2000) Developing Essential Study Skills, London:
Prentice Hall pp57-71