The COVID-19 pandemic has been quietly reshaping relationships across the globe and in Malta.

Life
in lockdown, whether full or partial, has made it necessary to adjust to increased time spent with
families and partners, while social distancing has...

The COVID-19 pandemic has been quietly reshaping relationships across the globe and in Malta. Life
in lockdown, whether full or partial, has made it necessary to adjust to increased time spent with
families and partners, while social distancing has created a sense of isolation from friends,
vulnerable loved ones and communities at large.

The high-pressure environment of confinement, combined with financial stressors brought about by
an economy burdened by uncertainty, appears to have fuelled a rise in marital conflict, as recently
reported by Times of Malta.

The evidence of marital discord so far comes from family lawyers we spoke to who have reported a
substantial rise in the number of couples seeking advice on separation. The evidence being
anecdotal, the toll taken on relationships is still far from fully understood.

It appears that, in more extreme cases, conflicts arising during lockdown have led to surges in
reported cases of domestic violence. Similar increases have also been reported in many other
countries within Europe including France, Germany and the United Kingdom.

Another challenge that families have been facing is the increased burden of care as a result of
quarantine measures and home-schooling situations. Often, women have ended up shouldering a
greater burden due to typically unequal divisions in household labour. The upshot is that women’s
ability to participate in the workforce has been perilously compromised. And with lingering
uncertainties over summer schooling, that issue persists to some extent.

Women workers were also disproportionately affected by the pandemic in particular sectors. Not
only are women more likely to take care of homebound families but they are overrepresented in
those industries and services, including tourism, hospitality and retail, which were most severely
affected by the coronavirus outbreak.

When navigating personal conflicts and financial strains within family relationships, people often
turn to their friends and wider communities for support. However, given the social distancing
measures that took root both physically and psychologically, many people found themselves isolated
from the usual support systems.

A compounding factor is the digital divide, between people who have access to connective
technologies and those who do not. Senior citizens less familiar with online communication were
less connected to their families during quarantine. Individuals with difficulty accessing a stable
internet connection or functional device due to financial or other instabilities were equally at risk of
exclusion and withdrawal.
At the other end of the scale, a lot of younger people immersed themselves in the potential of digital
social platforms to form new connections. While virtual friendships can be powerful catalysts for
community building and even social change, as is being seen in the Black Lives Matter movement,
there have been concerns that an almost exclusive focus on social media could compound
adolescent loneliness.

Despite these challenges, the pandemic has presented an opportunity for a critical re-evaluation of
people’s closest relationships. While some couples discovered that the impossibility of maintaining
civil relations at close quarters was the final straw in their flagging relationships, some families
discovered the benefits of spending more quality time together within their homes.

Whether on the level of couples, families or communities, the restructuring of relationships initiated
by COVID-19 will continue to have far-reaching implications for the foreseeable future, with marital
discord only the most visible consequence.

It is equally true, though, that a greater sense of community support has emerged. Whether these
seeds of solidarity can be nurtured into something sustainable, and buck the national trend towards
individualism and unrestrained consumption, remains to be seen.

The recent COVID-19 pandemic has changed numerous things about our daily lives. Much of the
public focus has naturally been on the health and safety of individuals, families, and society. Others
have focused on the economic impact of both the virus and the various policies implemented to
slow its spread and “flatten the curve.” Social distancing has changed almost all aspects of our daily
interactions.

One common consequence of these measures for families has been increased time spent together in
the home. This increased time together has likely benefited many families. Long dormant
relationships have perhaps been rekindled as priorities have been reassessed.

Some whose work-related stressors have kept them out of the home may have a newfound passion
for their family relationships. Many parents are finding increased opportunity to interact and draw
close to their children.

Other families are getting the opportunity to create new traditions and family rituals, often to fend
off boredom but in the meantime creating meaningful interactions that are fostering closeness and
unity.

But there are other ways in which families may be struggling during this time of uncertainty. These
struggles may not make the news headlines the way other topics do, but they are just as important
for the long-term sustainability and health of our society and culture. In the social sciences, classic
stress theory provides some important insights into what many of these short-term stressors may be
for families.

Families are “stressed” when they encounter changes in their environment, and they cope with that
stress based on their available resources. For example, when an appliance, let’s say a dishwasher,
breaks down (change), the family may feel stress. They may then hire someone to fix the appliance,
turning to financial and time resources to cope with the stressor. They could also look to each other
as resources to wash the dishes by hand until the appliance can be fixed.

The COVID-19 pandemic and the associated societal changes have elevated the felt stress of most
families by increasing change in their lives while decreasing resources. With families losing income
and losing access to institutional resources (school systems, gyms, parks, etc.), most individuals and
families have fewer coping resources to deal with the elevated stress and anxiety during this time of
crisis. A long history of social science suggests that this elevated individual and family stress will
translate into what I call an exaggeration effect of negative outcomes. That means that any
underlying negative behaviors or issues that families were dealing with prior to the pandemic will be
exaggerated during it. From Fargo to New Jersey, we have already seen news reports of elevated
child and domestic abuse, an easy illustration of this principle.

Other negative family outcomes, less enticing to reporters but equally important, are also
happening. Social scientists have noted that web traffic to pornography sites has increased during
the pandemic, suggesting that risk-taking behaviors and compulsive pornography use are increasing.
The National Institute on Drug Abuse has issued caution about the impact the pandemic might have
on drug abuse. Scholars have already warned about the increases likely to be seen in both
depression and anxiety and the CDC has been so concerned about mental health during the
pandemic, they launched a new section of their website strictly dedicated to mental health
resources. The list goes on and on.

Many of these issues predated COVID-19, but in some families, the pandemic has shined a spotlight
on these issues and caused them to both accelerate and become aggregated problems in their daily
lives.

So, what can families do if they find themselves struggling with the realities of these issues? What if
a family is physically healthy, but struggling with unique conflicts and relational issues that have
been brought to the surface due to the changes over the last few months? The immediate need for
most families is an increase of available resources.

Given the circumstances, digital and online resources are increasingly important. Luckily, while most
families are often unaware of these resources, they do exist. For example, online resources are
available to help combat mental health problems and domestic violence.
What about those families that aren’t suffering with major stressors but simply need better
parenting or couple resources to cope with increased tension or fighting? Often one of the most
important resources for families is to recapture the structure that school and work schedules forced
on many prior to the pandemic. Sit down with your partner or family and map out a daily schedule
and routine. For many families, this creates a sense of normalcy that can help alleviate some of the
conflicts and stresses that have popped up.

Another important resource for families to remember during times of crisis is maintaining and/or
establishing family rituals and traditions. This might be a great time to start a few new family
traditions. Research has found that such rituals improve closeness and foster healthy family
relationships. Consider starting a weekly dessert bar or a family movie night.

Find new ways to interact through board games or an art project. These events will serve to destress
your family and provide the needed breaks from the daily challenges of living in close proximity to
each other.

In addition to finding ways to strengthen your own family, consider reaching out to families around
you who may be struggling in the shadows of their own home. Despite our need to socially distance,
social resources are especially vital for families that are struggling. You never know how even a
friendly voice, or a reassuring comment might help lift up and support families around us.

Most current pandemic related policy is aimed at either health or economic outcomes, the two most
concerning issues for the vast majority of the country. In the meantime, while many families are
thriving in an environment that is forcing family time and closeness, many others, especially those
who were already struggling with underlying family issues before the pandemic, are suffering silently
(or not so silently on some social media outlets).

We are truly in a unique moment in time when it comes to family interaction. This is both an
opportunity and a challenge for families. Old problems might pop back up or new problems might
arise. Seeking out and being proactive in building your family resources—and reaching out to those
whose resources are even less adequate—can be a critical part of your survival plan for the current
pandemic.