Copyright © Summersdale Publishers Ltd 2004

No part of this book may be reproduced by any means,

nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language,
without the written permission of the publisher.

Summersdale Publishers Ltd

46 West Street
Chichester
West Sussex
PO19 1RP
UK

www.summersdale.com
Printed and bound in Great Britain
ISBN 1 84024 387 2

Cover photo: Michael Pohuski/FoodPix/Getty Images

 Contents
Choco-Chronicle...........................................................7
Top-of-the-Chocs..........................................................12
Chocotionary...................................................................17
Choco-Love......................................................................25
Choco-Lust....................................................................29
Easter Eggs.......................................................................33
Truffle Trivia....................................................................36
A Choco Party...................................................................43
Choc-Cook.....................................................................53
Choco-Horoscopes........................................................74

Top-Choco-Tips.............................................................82
4
‘Everyone has a price… mine is chocolate.’
Unknown

5
6
Choco-Chronicle

7
‘In the beginning God created chocolate and he saw that it
was good. Then He separated the light from the dark and
saw that it was better.’
Unknown
Once upon a time there was a small but perfectly
formed cacao bean. Its posh name was (and indeed still
is) Theobroma Cacao, which means ‘food of the gods’.

The Maya people were the first to twig to this amazing

little bean over 1500 years ago. They believed it
possessed awesome powers and used it in worship
rituals. The Aztecs also held the cacao bean in similar
esteem and associated it with their god, Quetzalcoatl.
Both cultures used the beans as currency, and also as
the basis of a brew that they believed would imbue
them with power and wisdom.
8
For the Europeans, though, it wasn’t until the Spaniard
Christopher Columbus went on his travels in the
sixteenth century that the bean’s properties began to
become known. Columbus returned to Spain from
his journeys of discovery to the Americas, and among
the gifts he presented to the King and Queen was the
precious cacao bean. This wee bean was to take the
Western World by storm, inciting a passion for
chocolate that people were only too happy to embrace.

Though the Spanish invented a sweet hot chocolate

drink, France really caught on to the chocolate frenzy
around 1643 and from that point onward the drink
was very fashionable in the Court of Louis XIV.
Some believe that chocolate has aphrodisiac
properties and, true or not, it was chocolate’s
reputation as sugary Viagra that made it extremely
popular in Paris. Ooh la la!

9
In 1657 chocolate was finally available in Britain. A
Frenchman opened the first chocolate house in
London but, because chocolate was considered a
luxury item, it was only the upper classes that got
their hands on it. Chocolate quickly became seen as
a cure-all, and doctors began recommending
chocolate for nearly every malady – including weight
loss! This mass popularity meant that eventually
prices fell and chocolate houses popped up all over
the country and by 1700 they were as common as
cafés are today.

By the nineteenth century the British and Americans

were adding milk to their chocolate drinks and cocoa
to their cakes. This led to the creation of solid
chocolate bars by the likes of J. S. Fry and Sons of

10
Bristol and the Cadbury brothers in Birmingham
in the UK, and the Hershey Chocolate Company
in the States.

By the end of the nineteenth century chocolate was

available for mass consumption. By the twentieth
century it was so commonplace that in the Second
World War chocolate was a major part of soldiers’
rations.

‘It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is

a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far
more reliable than a man.’
Miranda Ingram

11
Top-of-the-Chocs

12
For many chocoholics anything that resembles
chocolate will do in an emergency, but in reality
everyone has their favourite. But whom, historically,
do we have to thank for our beloved bonbons?

If it’s a bar of Turkish Delight or Fry’s Peppermint

Cream that floats your boat then you can thank J. S.
Fry and Sons. A Quaker physician and a self-taught
chocolate-maker, Fry opened the first major chocolate
company in the UK in Bristol in 1748.

Today’s top chocs include the evergreen favourite

Dairy Milk. This, along with the likes of Fruit & Nut,
Bournville and chocolate Buttons are all the choco-
handiwork of another Quaker, John Cadbury.
Probably the largest chocolate producer in the UK,

13
Cadbury started life as a small shop opened in
Birmingham in 1824.

Lindt & Sprüngli, best known simply as Lindt, is

the favourite Swiss brand. The product of two
companies, this chocolate is gorgeously milky – their
choco animals are a joy to bite the heads off!

The Nestlé Company was started through the

research of Swiss pharmacist Henri Nestlé in the
1860s who was seeking an alternative to mother’s
milk for infants who could not breastfeed. By the
1920s chocolate was the company’s second most
important product. Nestlé merged with the UK’s
Rowntree Company in 1988, makers of the KitKat
and the children’s favourite, Smarties. Introduced

14
in 1937, apparently 18,000 Smarties are eaten in the
UK every minute!

In the USA, Milton Hershey began making chocolate

as coating for his caramels and in 1894, the Hershey
Chocolate Company was born as a sideline to the
caramel business. In 1900 Hershey sold his caramel
company to concentrate on manufacturing his
chocolate. The Hershey Company’s best-selling
chocolate products include the individually wrapped
Hershey’s Kisses and, in collaboration with the H. B.
Reese Candy Company, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup,
which is probably America’s most famous chocolate
treat.

15
‘Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into
four pieces with your bare hands – and then
just eat one of the pieces.’
Judith Viorst, writer

16
Chocotionary

17
Bitter Chocolate
Also known as unsweetened chocolate, although it
often contains a small amount of sweetening. It is
the chocolate best suited to baking and cooking and
is valued by chocolate connoisseurs as its high cocoa
solid percentage means a purer and better quality of
chocolate.

Cacao Beans
The beans from which chocolate is derived.

Cacao Tree
The fruit of the cacao tree are large pods that contain
30 to 40 beans. This evergreen tree was first
discovered in South America.

18
Chocoholic
A choccy addict – a title most of us can lay claim to!

Chocolate Liqueur
The cold alcoholic version of a hot chocolate drink.
Does it get any better?

Chocolatier
The French term for the best sort of people – those
who make and sell chocolate.

19
Cocoa Butter
The yellow-white vegetable fat that comes from the
cacao bean. It is removed from chocolate liquid
during a refining process at high pressure. As well
as being a chocolate product it is also used in
cosmetics and moisturisers and is supposed to be
great for reducing stretch marks caused by
pregnancy.

20
Cocoa Powder
What remains when cocoa butter is removed from
chocolate liquid, cocoa powder is what is used in
making a hot drink of the same name.

Conching
The process that turns raw chocolate into the smooth
stuff we adore. The chocolate is heated and rolled by
granite conch-shaped rollers – hence the name.

Couveture Chocolate
A chocolate containing extra cocoa butter for pouring
and dipping purposes. Also known as coating
chocolate as it is primarily used by luxury
chocolatiers to form a very thin shell of chocolate
for truffles.

21
Dark Chocolate
Made by mixing chocolate liquid with varying
amounts of sweetening and cocoa butter.

Drinking Chocolate
Unlike the cocoa drink, this should be made with
real, solid chocolate mixed with sugar, milk and
cream. It is extremely rich and thick.

Fondants or Creams
Sugar-based centres for chocolate that can be
flavoured.

Milk Chocolate
Milk or cream is added to a mixture of chocolate
liquid, cocoa butter, vanilla and sweetening.

22
Praline
Made with finely ground nuts and chocolate or
caramel. A common filling in Belgian chocolates.

Truffles
A fluffy chocolate, cream and butter mixture, these
sweets were named after the expensive French
mushroom that they were thought to resemble.

White Chocolate
Contains no cocoa powder and so is not considered
a ‘true’ chocolate by choco-snobs. A combination of
vanilla, milk solids, cocoa butter and sugar, white
chocolate is made with vegetable fat instead of cocoa
butter.

23
‘There’s nothing better than a good friend,
except a good friend with chocolate.’
Linda Grayson, The Pickwick Papers

24
Choco-Love

25
Casanova believed chocolate to be the ‘elixir of love’.

The Mayans drank chocolate as part of their

engagement and wedding rituals.

Doctors once prescribed chocolate to reduce the pain of

unrequited love.

26
 Chocolate is the most popular token in affairs of the
heart, beating both flowers and perfume. It has become
a traditional part of Western courtship rituals.

Fact: a romantic meal just isn’t complete without a rich

chocolate dessert.

Italian lovers exchange ‘baci’, or ‘kisses’, which are

wrapped chocolates that contain a romantic message on
the inside of the wrapper.

27
 ‘There are 2 kinds of people in the world.
Those who love chocolate, and communists.’
Leslie Oak Murray in Murray’s Law comic strip

28
Choco-Lust

29
Chocolate is not only thought of as a romantic
pleasure but a sensual and sexual one too. A favourite
image of the early movies was the blonde, beautiful
leading lady in a luxurious bed, sensuously
chomping her way through a box of chocs. Sex has
been used to sell chocolate for years – the idea of
melted chocolate smeared on a naked body and
licked off by a lover’s tongue is the hidden undertone
of most chocolate adverts.

Chocolate has been considered an aphrodisiac for

centuries. The Aztecs believed that chocolate
invigorated men and released women from their
inhibitions. The Aztec emperor, Montezuma,
certainly believed in these properties of chocolate.
With a sizeable harem to entertain, he is reputed to

30
have needed up to 50 goblets of chocolate a day to
keep his passion at its peak. Ding-dong!

Casanova would drink chocolate instead of

champagne to induce that loving feeling. He also gave
it to those he desired as a means of having his wicked
way with them.

In the seventeenth century chocolate was very

commonly employed as an aphrodisiac within the
French Court. Art and literature of the period
contains strong erotic themes supposedly inspired
by chocolate.

31
The Marquis de Sade also believed in the sexual
qualities of chocolate. In 1772 the naughty boy held
a ball and added chocolate to the dessert. The
gathering descended into a lustful frenzy with the
Marquis arrested shortly after the party ended.
However, whether this result was due to the
chocolate or to other ingredients the Marquis may
have added remains a mystery.

‘Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh;

Create New Motions of the Flesh.
And cause them long for you know what
If they but taste of chocolate.’
From A History of the Nature and Quality of
Chocolate by James Wadworth (1768–1844)

32
Easter Eggs

33
An aeon before it became the huge choc-in that it is
today, Easter was celebrated with all manner of
rituals and traditions all over the world.

The egg, symbolic of fertility and new life, was

originally painted with Spring-like colours to
represent the season, a time of growth and
fruitfulness. A similar practice belonging to the
Catholic faith was to take baskets of food to Mass on
Easter morning to be blessed by the priest. It is
thought that these customs inspired chocolate-
makers to produce baskets of chocolate eggs, which
in turn led to the depiction in chocolate of fabled
characters such as the Easter Bunny.

34
Now the boom-time of year for chocolate sales,
more than 250,000 tons of chocolate is sold in the
run-up to Easter, including everyone’s favourite:
Cadbury’s Creme Egg. Often imitated, this fondant-
filled and foil-wrapped piece of heaven has never
been surpassed.

‘Man cannot live by chocolate alone;

but woman sure can!’
Unknown

35
Truffle Trivia

36
The British eat approximately 11 kg of chocolate per
person per year.

In the 1600s chocolate was so valuable in England that

the government put a huge duty on it of fifteen shillings
per pound. This means that at the time chocolate was
worth three-quarters of its weight in gold.

The heaviest chocolate model ever created was a

4.2 m x 4.2 m x 2 m house. It was made in Argentina
in 1997 and weighed over 5 tons.

It was chocolate syrup, not fake blood, that was used

to create the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s
film Psycho.

37
At the Eurochocolate 2000 exhibition in Turin, Italy,
the largest ever chocolate bar was created weighing
2,280 kg.

Queen Victoria sent chocolate bars as a New Year’s

greeting to soldiers fighting in the Boer War in 1900.

The tallest chocolate model was made in Barcelona,

Spain – an 8.5 m tall chocolate sailing ship.

One chocolate chip provides an adult with enough

energy to walk 150 feet. Therefore, it would take
about 875,000 chocolate chips for an adult to walk
around the world.

38
Many of Britain’s earliest and most popular
chocolate manufacturers were members of the
Society of Friends, or Quakers, including the
Cadbury brothers, J. S. Fry and Sons, Rowntree’s
and Terry’s of York. Many of the Quakers began
producing chocolate as an alternative to alcohol.

Switzerland consumes the most chocolate per year

and there are 20 chocolatiers in Geneva alone.

The largest chocolate praline was created in Belgium

in 2000. It was 7 m long, 35 cm in diameter and
weighed 920 kg.

39
The most valuable chocolate bar is the one that
returned from Captain Scott’s 1901–1904 expedition
to the Antarctic. The bar is now over 100 years old
and was sold at auction for £470 in 2001.

Chocolate can be frozen for up to six months

(although why you would want to leave chocolate
tucked away for so long beggars belief).

The longest chocolate salami was made on 1st June

2001 in Lisbon, Portugal, where it is a local delicacy.
It was 75 m long and weighed 500 kg.

40
Napoleon apparently carried chocolate with him on
all his military excursions to eat if he needed a quick
energy-boost.

The mixed assortment box Milk Tray was created

by the Cadbury company in 1914 and became
known in the 1980s for its elaborate advertising
campaign. But in 2003 womankind suffered a major
blow: the leather-clad hunk who had been used in
the TV advertising for years was tragically axed.
Getting up to all sorts of dare-devil stunts in order
to deliver a box of the chocs, the famous slogan was
‘all because the lady loves Milk Tray’.

41
‘I have this theory that chocolate slows down
the aging process… It may not be true but
dare I take the chance?’
Unknown

42
A Choco Party

43
 The Great Chocolate Race
You will need:

a very large slab of chocolate

a plate
dice
one pair of large gloves
a hat
a scarf
a coat
a knife and fork

Any number can play but make sure you have plenty
of chocolate for greater numbers of players.

44
To play:

Sit the players in a large circle with all equipment placed

in the centre so it is accessible to everyone. The players
take it in turns to roll the dice. When a player rolls a six
they must run to the centre of the circle, put on all the
clothing as quickly as possible, then try to cut up the
chocolate with the knife and fork and eat the individual
pieces. Meanwhile, the remaining players continue to
roll the dice. When another six is thrown the turn of
the person cutting the chocolate ends and they must
stop, remove the hat, scarf, gloves and coat and pass
them, with the knife and fork, to the player who has
just rolled a six. Again the remaining players throw the
dice until another six is thrown. And so play continues
until the chocolate is finished – the aim of the game
being to scoff the most chocolate!
45
 The Flour Game
You will need:

flour
a piece of chocolate
a bowl
a plate
a plastic sheet
a knife

This game is best played by between 4 and 8 players.

46
To play:

Lay down the plastic sheet and get the players to sit
in a circle. In the same way you would make a
sandcastle, make a flour castle on the plate using the
bowl. Place a piece of chocolate on the top of flour
castle. Take it in turns to use the knife to cut chunks
off the flour castle without causing it to collapse. The
player who causes it to collapse must retrieve the
small chocolate piece with their mouths (no hands!)
from the flour ruins. Make sure you are near a sink
as the person will have to wash their mouth out
thoroughly afterwards… but they do get to eat the
chocolate!

47
 Look, no hands!
You will need:

chocolates with a crisp sugar shell

a bowl of flour for each player
a watch or clock to time with
an empty bowl for each player
a plastic sheet

Any number can play, but 4 is a good number of

players for this rather messy game.

48
To play:

Place an equal amount of the chocolates in each

player’s flour-bowl, placing their empty bowls by the
side. Set a time limit for the game: 2 minutes is good.
When the time begins, each player must attempt to
retrieve as many of the chocolate pieces as they can
from the flour and transfer them into the empty
bowls. However, they must only use their mouths –
hands must remain behind their backs. The winner
is of course the person who retrieves the most
chocolate by the time the clock runs out. You could
use whipped cream or chocolate mousse instead of
flour for a more tasty game…

49
 The Chocolate Kissing Game for
Chocoholics
You will need:

several willing-to-pucker players

a bottle
a hat containing pieces of paper, with parts of the
body and kissing styles written on them (see p. 52)
some good quality chocolate

A game for any number of players…

50
To play:

Firstly, fold up all the pieces of paper so that the writing

is not visible. Sit the players in a circle and spin the
bottle. Whoever the bottle points to (Player A) must
choose a piece of paper from the hat. He or she then
spins the bottle again and the person it points to this
time (Player B) has to kiss Player A in the kissing
style / on the body part written on the piece of paper.
The kisser (Player B) is then rewarded with a piece
of chocolate. He or she then picks a piece of paper,
spins the bottle and the game continues. The winner
is the person with the most chocolate at the end and
who will therefore have done the most kissing! The
chocolate may be used in the kissing for variety.

51
Some suggestions for the slips of paper:

A butterfly kiss (using your eyelashes on their cheek)

A foot kiss
A long kiss
Ten small kisses, each on a different part of the body
Share the chocolate whilst kissing and see how long
it can be made to last
Wild kiss – any type of kiss anywhere…

52
Choc-Cook

53
 Most Chocolatey Brownies
Ingredients:

4 oz / 100 g of butter or margarine

8 oz / 200 g of sugar
1 tsp of vanilla essence
2 eggs
4 oz /100 g of plain flour
3 oz / 75 g of your favourite cocoa powder
1/4 tsp of baking powder
1/4 tsp of salt

Optional:
4 oz / 100 g of chopped nuts
small chunks of chocolate

54
Preheat the oven to 180ºC / 350ºF / Gas Mark 4.

Grease a 9 x 9 inch baking tray.

Mix the butter, sugar and vanilla essence together in

a bowl. Add the eggs and beat well using a spoon.

Stir together the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt

and add to the egg mixture through a sieve, beating
as you go to create a smooth consistency.

Add the nuts and a good handful of chocolate

chunks, if desired, and mix well. Spread the mixture
evenly into the baking tray and bake for 20–25
minutes, or until the brownies start to pull away from
the edge of the pan. Cut into squares and leave the
brownies to cool in their tray.

55
 ‘What use are cartridges in battle?
I always carry chocolate instead.’
George Bernard Shaw, author and playwright

56
 The Real McCoy
‘...a cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a
whole day without food.’
Hernando Cortez, fellow traveller of
Christopher Columbus

Ingredients:

6 oz / 150 g of chopped dark chocolate

1/2 pint / 250 ml of water
1 1/2 pints / 750 ml of whole milk
cinnamon to taste
4 oz / 100 g of caster sugar
1/4 pint / 125 ml of double cream
1 tsp vanilla essence
4 oz / 100 g cream whipped with 1 tbs of icing sugar

57
Place the chocolate and water in a saucepan over a
low heat, stirring until smooth.

Meanwhile, mix the milk and cinnamon in another

saucepan and warm over a medium heat until
bubbles form around the edge of the pan.

Whisk the chocolate mixture into the milk, add the

sugar and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and
simmer for 5 minutes.

Mix in the cream and continue to simmer on a low

heat. Stir in the vanilla essence.

Serve in 4 mugs topped with the sugared whipped

cream.

58
‘Life is like a box of chocolates – you never
know what you’re going to get.’
Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) in the film
Forrest Gump

59
 Wickedest Choccy Biccies
Ingredients:

8 oz / 200 g of butter
4 oz / 100 g of caster sugar
1 tsp of chocolate essence (or thick sauce)
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
8 oz / 200 g of self-raising flour
2 oz / 50 g of cocoa powder
2 good handfuls of milk chocolate and white
chocolate chunks

Beat the butter and sugar until a light creamy colour

and add the chocolate essence or sauce.

60
Sift the flour and cocoa into the mixture and beat
together gradually, adding the chocolate chunks.

Form the mixture into balls and flatten onto a greased

baking tray. Bake at 190ºC/375ºF/Gas Mark 5 for
about 12 minutes. Cool and serve.

‘What you see before you, my friend, is the

result of a lifetime of chocolate…’
Katherine Hepburn, Actress

61
 Choco-Fudge Sauce
Ingredients:

1/4 pint / 125 ml of double cream

2 oz / 50 g of butter
3 1/2 oz / 85 g of soft brown sugar
1 oz / 25 g of cocoa
a pinch of salt

Put the cream and butter into a saucepan and heat,

stirring, until smooth. Add the sugar and cook at a
moderate temperature until the sugar dissolves,
stirring the mixture constantly.

62
Sift the cocoa and salt into the mixture and stir until
smooth. Bring just to the boil and serve immediately,
poured over cakes – or whatever takes your fancy!

‘Exercise is a dirty word… Every time I hear

it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.’
Unknown

63
 Cheeseychococake
Ingredients:

5 oz / 125 g of crushed chocolate chip biscuits

3 oz / 75 g of butter
9 oz / 225 g of dark chocolate
1/3 pint / 150 ml of double cream
1/5 pint / 100 ml of single cream
8 oz / 200 g of mascarpone cheese
4 oz / 100 g of cream cheese
2 tbs of coffee liqueur
2 oz / 50 g of caster sugar
2 crumbled Flake bars
some strawberries and blueberries for decoration

64
Grease a removable-base cake tin. Melt the butter
then combine with the crushed biscuits. Use this
mixture to line cake tin base and transfer to a freezer
to harden.

Mix the mascarpone, cream cheese, coffee liqueur

and sugar until blended. Melt 2/3 of the chocolate
in a bowl over a pan of simmering water and then
stir into the cheese. Whip the double cream and fold
into the mixture.

Pour into the cake tin on top of the biscuit base and
place in the refrigerator until set.

Melt half of the remainder of the chocolate and

when cooled slightly, smooth over the top of the

65
cheesecake. This will serve as an adhesive for the
rest of the crumbled Flake scattered over the top of
the cheesecake and the fruit decoration.

‘Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso.’

(Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.)

Spanish Proverb

66
 Choco-Cola Cake
Ingredients:

8 oz / 200 g of flour
8 oz / 200 g of sugar
2 tbs of cocoa
2 oz / 50 g of butter or margarine
1/8 pint / 60 ml of olive oil
1/4 pint / 125 ml of cola
1/8 pint / 60 ml of buttermilk
1 tsp of bicarbonate of soda
1 egg
6 oz / 150 g of mini marshmallows
1 tsp of vanilla essence

67
Grease a cake tin.

Sift the flour and sugar together into a large bowl.

Combine the butter, oil, cocoa powder and cola in a
saucepan then heat gently until just boiling. Stir in
the marshmallows.

Remove from the heat and pour the mixture over

the flour and sugar, stirring as you go until all the
ingredients are blended. Then add the buttermilk,
soda, egg and vanilla and beat for a couple of minutes.

Bake for 30 minutes at 180ºC / 350ºF / Gas Mark 4.

Pour the topping (below) over the cake while still
warm.

68
 Choco-Cola Cake Topping
Ingredients:

2 oz / 50 g of butter or margarine
3 tbs of cocoa powder
6 tbs of cola
6 oz / 150 g of icing sugar
1 tsp of vanilla essence

Combine the butter, cocoa powder and cola in a

saucepan and heat to boiling point. Pour over the
sugar, add the vanilla and mix well. Spread over the
cake while it’s still warm. You can also add chopped
nuts to the topping if desired.

69
Q: Why is there no Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: No one wants to quit!

70
 Chilli-Choc
Chocolate works in chilli, it really does! This recipe serves
6–8 people.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lb / 750 g lean pork or beef mince

olive oil
4 large red onions, diced finely
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
3 tins of chopped tomatoes
2 tsp of chilli powder
2 tsp of cumin
2 tsp of cinnamon
1 tbs of oregano

71
2 tbs of cocoa powder
2 cans of red kidney beans

Fry the onions in a little oil until transparent. Add

the garlic and fry for a further minute.

Add the meat and cook, stirring continuously until

it browns. Add all the remaining ingredients except
the kidney beans and simmer for one hour. Stir
occasionally.

Add the kidney beans and cook for a further 20

minutes. If the mixture requires more liquid as you
cook, then add a little water.

72
 ‘All I really need is love, but a little
chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!’
Lucy Van Pelt in Peanuts by Charles M. Shultz

73
Choco-Horoscopes

74
Aries
Aries are the first to dive into a box of chocolates
and will only share them around once they have eaten
all the praline truffles. It’s not that they are greedy
but they know what they like and they won’t butt
out until they’ve got it.

Taurus
Taureans are slow in choosing their chocolate but
once they have selected their favourite they will
remain faithful to it forever more. They are
especially fond of milk chocolate, which, if denied,
can send them into a spectacular snorting fury.

75
Gemini
With the lowest boredom threshold of the choco-
signs, coupled with two-faced tendencies, Geminis
will flit between different chocs, analyse each one,
proclaim absolute devotion to one in particular and
then leg it to the sweetie shop for half a pound of
sherbet lemons.

Cancer
Caught up in the romance of chocolate, our
crustacean chums are generous with their truffles
where their loved ones are concerned. Will often
go for the orange crème as they like the symmetry
of a hard exterior concealing a soft centre.

76
Leo
The most dramatic and extravagant of the choco-
signs, Leo’s chocs will always be the most expensive,
the most calorific and the most opulently packaged.
Eating chocolate is a full-scale production to lions
and they expect lots of applause for their party piece:
the ability to eat their own body weight in cocoa.

Virgo
Most likely to make their own chocolates, which will
be perfect in every way. Virgos never get chocolate
on their clothes or hands and they always put
wrappers straight into the bin. Fond of cherry
creams.

77
Libra
Never over-indulges in chocolate and will always
resolve any choco-related squabbles between others.
Always eats equal amounts of plain and milk
chocolate.

Scorpio
The sexiest sign of all, Scorpio likes to play with
chocolate, loves oodles of choco-sauce and has a
penchant for novelty chocolates. Blessed with a vivid
imagination, Scorpio is the most likely sign to get
slapped in their dealings with chocolate.

78
Sagittarius
Sagi has a childlike curiosity, which will lead them
to prod and taste every chocolate in the box.
However, they will also want to discuss, at some
length, the meaning of chocolate.

Capricorn
Forceful, magnetic and strident, Capricorn will go
for traditional chocolates over new or fancy ones.
Will tell you exactly which one you can have and will
get very shirty if you disobey.

79
Aquarius
Used to standing out in a crowd, Aquarius will
always opt for the most unique chocolate in the box.
If everyone is eating chocolate they will have a bag
of pork scratchings or a pickled egg, simply to draw
attention to themselves.

Pisces
Will take the chocolate nearest to them, but is likely
to give it to someone less fortunately blessed in
chocolate than themselves. Would generally prefer
a savoury treat, like a prawn cocktail.

80
‘Chocolate doesn’t really make the world go around…
but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile!’
Unknown

81
Top-Choco-Tips

82
If chocolate starts to melt in
your hands then you are
eating it too slowly.

83
 Chocolate-covered
raisins count as fruit.
Eat as many as you like.

84
 The Problem: How to
prevent your chocolate
melting in a journey home
from the supermarket on a
hot day in a hot car?

The Solution: Eat it all

in the car park.

85
Dieters: Eat a chocolate bar
before each meal. This will
take the edge off your
hunger and you’ll eat less.

86
A box of chocolates will
provide your calorie intake
for the day in one neat
package.

87
 If you can’t eat all your
chocolate then it is possible
to store it in the freezer…
but if you can’t eat all your
chocolate, what’s wrong
with you?

88
 If you are trying to lose
weight, store your chocolate
on top of the fridge – calories
are afraid of heights and will
jump out of the chocolate to
save themselves.

89
A balanced diet consists of
equal amounts of dark and
white chocolate.

90
 There are many
preservatives in chocolate –
they make you look younger.

91
Remember: Money talks.
Chocolate sings.

92
‘Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of
things to do for the day. That way, at least
you’ll get one thing done.’
Unknown

93
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95
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96