The Psychology Behind The Fear of Missing Out

(FOMO)
forbes.com/health/mind/the-psychology-behind-fomo/

Emily Laurence September 30, 2022

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By Emily Laurence
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Dr. Temple is a professor, licensed psychologist and the vice dean for research for the
School of Nursing at the University of Texas.

Jeff Temple, Ph.D.

Mental health, adolescent mental health, violence
Published: Sep 30, 2022, 6:13pm

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The average person spends 147 minutes a day on social media[1]Daily time spent on
social networking by internet users worldwide from 2012 to 2022. Statistics. Accessed
8/31/2022. . Because of this, we’re more aware than ever of how others are spending
their time. Every party, vacation and even meal out seems to be documented for the world
to see.

For some, this constant stream of documentation can lead to experiencing FOMO, or fear
of missing out. Though FOMO isn’t a diagnosable psychological condition—at least not
yet—this phenomenon can directly impact both mental and physical health. While social
media can be a big cause of FOMO, it certainly isn’t the only culprit. The feeling of
wanting to fit in and belong far outdates the Internet. If you are experiencing FOMO
regularly, there are ways to overcome it.

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What Is the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)?

According to the World Journal of Clinical Cases, the term “fear of missing out” gained
traction in 2004[2]Fear of missing out: A brief overview of origin, theoretical underpinnings
and relationship on mental health. World Journal of Clinical Cases. 2021;9(19):4881-
4889. . This was the year Facebook launched, one of the first large online spaces (except
for perhaps MySpace) where people were able to publicly display their friendships and
what they were doing through status updates and photos.

“Psychologists began using the term FOMO in the early 2000s to describe a phenomenon
associated with the use of social networking sites. It has gained greater attention over the
years as our social media presence has increased,” says Natalie Christine Dattilo, Ph.D,
the founder of Priority Wellness Group and an instructor of psychology at Harvard.
“FOMO includes both the perception of missing out, which triggers anxiety, and
compulsive behaviors, like checking and refreshing sites, to maintain social connections,”
she says. “It is closely related to the fear of social exclusion or ostracism, which existed
long before social media.”

The History of FOMO

FOMO may have entered our lexicon during the advent of social media, but Erin Vogel,
Ph.D., a social psychologist and an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma
Health Sciences Center, emphasizes that the feeling of missing out has existed much
longer. “Humans want to feel like we’re included like we belong to a group,” she says.

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Another way that psychologists have studied FOMO is by focusing on how a feeling of
“belonging” can influence our self-esteem, continues Dr. Vogel. “When we feel as if we’re
part of a community and others approve of us, we feel better about ourselves. When we
don’t get that sense of community approval, we feel worse about ourselves,” she says.

When it comes to the first use of the acronym FOMO, the credit is often given to Patrick
McGinnis, a writer who used it in an article he wrote for the Harvard Business School
magazine, The Harbus, in 2004 (McGinnis is now a venture capitalist, best-selling author
and has a podcast called FOMO Sapiens.) In his article, McGinnis used “fear of missing
out” to describe why people often overschedule themselves.

Symptoms of FOMO
Even though FOMO is not currently a diagnosable condition, it can have specific
symptoms, according to a 2021 report in Technological Forecasting and Social Change.
Some of these symptoms include:

Obsessively checking social media to see what others are doing

Experiencing negative feelings when comparing one’s life to what others seem to be
doing on social media
Feeling mentally exhausted from social media

Other symptoms of FOMO, according to Erin Vogel, Ph.D, a social psychologist and an
associate professor at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center, can include:

Overscheduling (trying to be everywhere at all times)

Withdrawing from others
Feeling physically tired
Feeling sad, anxious or depressed
Difficulty concentrating
Having trouble sleeping

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Causes of FOMO
“Social media is not the only thing that causes FOMO. For example, you might get an
invitation to a weekend party that you don’t necessarily want to attend, but go anyway
because you don’t want to feel left out when your friends talk about it on Monday. Social

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media facilitates FOMO, but people have always experienced it,” explains Dr. Vogel.
While anything that makes someone feel left out can be a cause of FOMO, agrees Dr.
Dattilo, a few of the more common causes include:

Not understanding an inside joke others are laughing at

Not being picked for a team
Not being invited to an event
Missing out on a good deal, such as a sale at a store you like

The Psychology of FOMO

A sense of belonging is a fundamental human need. One study focusing on adolescent
girls referred to this need as “social hunger[3]Tanton A, Dhir A, Talwar S, et al. Dark
consequences of social media-induced fear of missing out (FOMO): Social media
stalking, comparisons, and fatigue. Technological Forecasting and Social Change.
2021;171:120931. .” This language underscores how important the need of belonging can
be for some and why experiencing FOMO can affect certain people so negatively. Feeling
socially connected (the opposite of FOMO) has even been linked to living a longer,
healthier life.

How can feeling connected impact our health in such an important way? Researchers say
that it’s because feeling bonded with others leads to feeling less stressed, which supports
both the nervous system and the immune system. Conversely, the feeling of FOMO
affects the brain similar to other anxiety conditions by activating a “fight or flight”
response, says Dr. Dattilo. “The brain perceives a threat, a social threat in this case, and
puts us on high alert. Our nervous system gets agitated and then we become
uncomfortable and motivated to find relief,” she continues.

This need for relief often leads people straight to their favorite social media apps.
“Unfortunately, by seeking relief in this way, we only maintain or even strengthen the
anxiety that triggered it in the first place,” says Dr. Dattilo.

FOMO has also been linked to mental health issues. Experiencing FOMO can be
associated with depression, feeling more stressed out and decreased life satisfaction.

Who Is Most Affected by FOMO?

When it comes to an actual age range, teens and youth are more at risk for experiencing
FOMO. “Younger people are considerably more at risk due to the increased amount of
time spent online coupled with a heightened sensitivity to and need for social approval
and belongingness,” says Dr. Dattilo

However, young people aren’t the only ones who may experience FOMO. Since the fear
of missing out is often connected to social media, Dr. Vogel explains that any avid social
media user is more at risk of experiencing FOMO than individuals who do not use social
media very much. “It’s likely that social media use can cause us to experience FOMO
because we’re seeing the ‘highlight reels’ of other people’s lives,” she says. “It’s also

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likely that people who are very invested in their social relationships are more drawn to
social media and more prone to experiencing FOMO.” To this point, a smaller study from
2017 found that extroverts may be more likely to use social media excessively than
introverts[4]Social Theory at HBS: McGinnis’ Two FOs. The Harbus. Accessed
08/31/2022.

Individuals living with social anxiety are also at risk, notes Dr. Dattilo. This is because,
she explains, they are more likely to avoid social situations and rely more heavily on
social media for connection and to decrease feelings of loneliness.

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Social Media and The Fear of Missing Out

It’s clear that feeling a sense of belonging is important for both physical and mental
health. It’s also likely that FOMO negatively impacts health. But why is social media such
a powerful driver of FOMO? To understand this, it’s important to know just how powerful
apps like Instagram, Facebook and TikTok can be. When we see posts that make us
happy on social media (or when someone “likes” our posts), it increases the hormone
dopamine in the brain, lighting up the brain’s reward system, explains Dr. Dattilo.

“Posting on social media and receiving positive feedback through comments, likes and
follows is highly rewarding to the brain so we seek that again and again,” says Dr. Dattilo.
In this way, using social media can quite literally be addictive.

How to Resist the Fear of Missing Out 

If you find yourself experiencing FOMO, both Dr. Vogel and Dr. Dattilo have some advice
on how to deal with it:

Remember what you’re not seeing on social media: “Especially in the age of
social media, it’s important to remind ourselves that other people’s lives aren’t as
exciting or perfect as they may seem,” says Dr. Vogel. Remember that people aren’t
typically posting the more ordinary aspects of their day, such as working at their
computer or cleaning. Not everyone’s day is jam-packed with excitement 24/7.
Be purposeful with your time: “Focus your energy on relationships and activities
that are fulfilling to you,” suggests Dr. Vogel. When you’re content with how you’re
spending your time, you’ll be less concerned with how others are spending theirs.

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 Know your triggers: Often, it can be helpful to figure out exactly what is causing
you to experience FOMO, explains Dr. Dattilo. “Much like any behavioral addiction,
understanding and minimizing triggers is important,” she says. If you find that the
cause of your FOMO is your phone, she suggests putting it in a different room
unless you need to use it to avoid the temptation of going on social media. If a
certain person is regularly causing you to experience FOMO, you may want to
consider limiting your time around them.
See a therapist: Dr. Dattilo says that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help
break habits that are leading to FOMO, such as overusing social media. This type of
therapy involves working with a therapist to examine your emotions, thoughts and
actions to help regain a sense of control.

Constantly experiencing FOMO may negatively impact mental and physical health—but
it’s also very possible to enjoy social media without letting FOMO overtake you.
Remembering that social media is only half of the story, as well as enlisting some coping
mechanisms, can help you push back against FOMO. Cultivating a personal sense of
belonging may also help you feel more in control and secure.

“When it comes to treating FOMO, the main goal should be control rather than
abstinence,” Dr. Dattilo says. “Be intentional and mindful about your social media usage.
Notice which accounts or apps tend to make you feel worse and unfollow or delete.”

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Emily Laurence
Contributor

Emily Laurence is a journalist, freelance writer and certified health coach living in Raleigh,
North Carolina. She specializes in writing about mental health, healthy aging and overall
wellness. For six years, she was an editor and senior writer at Well+Good, covering
everything from food trends to public health issues like the opioid epidemic. She
graduated from the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse
University with a bachelor’s degree in magazine journalism. Find her on Instagram at
@EmLaurence.

Jeff Temple, Ph.D.

Mental health, adolescent mental health, violence

Dr. Temple is a professor, licensed psychologist and the vice dean for research for the
School of Nursing at the University of Texas Medical Branch, where he also holds the
John Sealy Distinguished Chair in Community Health. As the founding director of the
Center for Violence Prevention, his research focuses on the prevention of interpersonal,
community and structural violence. Dr. Temple has been funded through the National
Institute of Justice, National Institutes of Health and Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention. He has over 230 scholarly publications in a variety of high-impact journals
including JAMA, JAMA Pediatrics, The Lancet Child and Adolescent Health, Pediatrics
and the Journal of Adolescent Health. He recently co-edited a book on adolescent dating
violence, is an associate editor for the Journal of Prevention and is on the editorial boards
of four other scientific journals. Dr. Temple co-chaired the Texas Task Force on Domestic
Violence and served on the Board of Directors of the Texas Psychological Association.
Locally, he served for seven years as the vice president of the Galveston Independent
School District Board of Trustees. His work has been featured on Forbes, CNN, New York
Times, TIME Magazine, Washington Post and even the satirical website, The Onion.

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