1. I was inspired by my mid-term story to write my final story.

I loved being able to

write about complex emotions, so I wanted to dedicate an entire story to that. How
people process their emotions. I believe my final story is better at taking a deeper dive
into human emotions. In my mid-term story, I wrote this: “That’s good. If we leave
now, we can still make Harry Styles. I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts in my head.
That’s the worst thing I could have possibly thought at that moment. Horrible,
horrible human being.” Now I personally like this paragraph, but I feel like I could
have gone deeper into the emotions. It was very surface level. Just skating through the
motions rather than getting to the cause of why the main character feels that way.
However, I fixed that problem in my final story. I explored why the main character
has her severe reservations towards the idea of love. Towards the end of the story, I
wrote: “I can’t lose having someone there for me. It will destroy me.” While this is just
an excercept, this line reveals why she has been feeling these emotions the entire time.
In my mid-term story, I think I was too lazy to find another reason for the main
character to act the way she was other than she was selfish. Yeah that’s one reason,
but humans are all selfish, but why her? Why was she feeling that way? I don’t think I
thought deeply enough about it to get to that conclusion. However, with my final
story, I went through four rounds of editing, and I think by the third round, I came to
the conclusion that she was scared to be alone, so that’s why she wanted to admit that
she was in love even though she wasn’t. She wasn’t scared to be in love. I think that
made all the difference, and it gave the story the extra layer it needed. That’s the
complexity that my mid-term story was lacking. That deeper reason why the main
character was the way she was. With more revision and deeper thought, I’m sure I can
find it.
2. Furuness, I think you’ll like this full circle moment. I stole some of Sally Rooney’s
techniques. She’s so good at portraying raw emotion and love between two
individuals. I read Normal People, and honestly, as basic as it sounds, life changing. I
added in the scenery the way she would, not distracting from the scene but adding to
it. After my first round of revising, my writing group helped me realize that my
 scenery was all wrong. My main character needed to have a more intimate moment
with her girlfriend, adding to the pressures of saying I love you back. In Normal
People, Marianne says “I love you” to Connell after they sleep together, and I guess, in
a subconscious way, Normal People inspired this story. However, Connell doesn’t say
it back to her, not until later in the story. She focuses on the emotions that each
character feels during their prospective chapter when each chapter focuses on their
different perspectives. I feel like a one-sided internal monologue about love would
totally be something that Sally Rooney would do. However, before you accuse me of
trying to be a Sally Rooney copycat, she wouldn’t have infused the story with humor
like I did (or tried to do). I still like to think that I have an original voice.
3. I can finally call myself a writer. I was so hesitant to call myself that before that class.
It’s silly to think about. A creative writing major that can’t call herself a creative
writer. Well it’s true. I kept that side of me hidden for a long time because I felt like I
had to, but recently, I discovered that side of myself is one of the best parts of myself.
This class and FYS, of course, helped me rediscover my love for writing, and the
worlds you can escape to. It’s so therapeutic, and I find myself thinking about events
in my day differently. How can I utilize that? How can I incorporate this person’s
quirks? How can I use their dialogue? Everything I do relates back to writing. I feel
like I am seven years old again. It’s an amazing feeling. At the beginning of the
semester, I had millions of story ideas, just floating around in my head, but I never
bothered to write them down. Now, I write everything down. Every little story idea,
every little detail. I need to document it. It’s amazing! I love writing again. My stamina
has improved. I just love it. Thank you.
4. Well if you asked me this same question at the beginning of the semester, I would
have told you at midnight, tucked away in the corner with little to no light, but my
answer has completely changed. I turned over a new leaf this semester, both with
writing and my life. I like to keep my nights open to fuel my creativity. I like to read
or watch movies or catch up with friends during the night, so I’ve been getting up
earlier. I would start my mornings by going to Starbucks, listening to music, and then
 I would go up to the Jordan Hall sunroom and write or do homework for at least an
hour. I wrote the longest there with little to no stress. When I write at midnight, I
always feel like I am racing the clock, but writing in the morning is stress relieving
not stress inducing. It’s very peaceful, and I want to continue writing like that. I
usually will have been awake for at least two hours before my class starts at 9 am, and
I will have written for at least 30 minutes of that time. Very rewarding. I never thought
I would be doing this at the beginning of the semester, but this change was necessary
because now I get to spend my evenings stress free doing what I love.
5. I used to think that a good writer would schedule three to six hours a day writing, and
the other hours reading to get better at writing, but now I know that’s bullshit.
There’s no one way to go about writing that’s correct. My process is different from
Kyle’s and their process is different from Aidan’s, but we are all good writers. I can
only write for an hour or two at a time while they both like to write for hours on end.
A good writer writes in whatever way works best for them. I used to think you needed
to write every single day for an hour at least to be a writer, and maybe that’s true, but
I think that it’s important to value your needs first. Burnout is real, and I experienced
it many times this semester. There were some days I simply didn’t feel like writing,
and that’s okay because the next day, I did. Not forcing myself to write when I didn’t
want to write wonders for me because then, I always came around. That’s also what a
good writer does. They listen to themselves because writing that comes from the
heart is always better than forced writing.
6. I think I want to start writing screenplays. I saw somewhere that a good place to start
is to write a scene from one of your favorite TV shows, so I might start by doing that.
I want to take a screenwriting class, so I might have to fork over some cash and do
that. I want to apply for a summer internship for a book publishing company. I just
need to do more research about what are some good companies to work for. I want to
get my foot in the door. I will utilize the kickstarters for reference materials for my
screenplay. I really look up to Judd Apatow, and he uses a lot of personal material in
his screenplays, so the “I Remembers” will always be helpful for me. Also, the reverse
outline and silent movie game were really helpful to me as well, and I definitely want
to utilize them in my future work. I hope to keep another digital journal for next
semester and find time in my busy life to keep writing. Also, I think you’ll be happy to
know that my writing group, FuckCommaSpaceInterrobang will continue to meet
every Friday next semester and hopefully for the rest of our college years. We really
click, and we want to continue to utilize our chaotic energy to help each other out
because at the end of the day, we are really good at helping each other with each
other’s problems but never our own. Thank you Furuness for another great semester. I
can’t believe I won’t have you again next semester. You’re the best. Pip on Pippin’ on
(get it because your dog’s name is Pip)!