Republic of the Philippines

City of Taguig
Taguig City University
Gen. Santos Avenue, Central Bicutan, Taguig City

COLLEGE OF HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT

COURSE MODULE in

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT AND APPLIED ETHICS

I. TITLE: LESSON 6: EMOTIONAL ATTRIBUTES, STRESS, CONFLICT AND

TIME MANAGEMENT

II. INTRODUCTION:

The two fundamental components of affect are emotions and motivation. Both of these
words have the same underlying Latin root, meaning “to move.” In contrast to cognitive
processes that are calm, collected, and frequently rational, emotions and motivations involve
arousal, or our experiences of the bodily responses created by the sympathetic division of the
autonomic nervous system (ANS). Because they involve arousal, emotions and motivations are
“hot” — they “charge,” “drive,” or “move” our behavior.

When we experience emotions or strong motivations, we feel the experiences. When we

become aroused, the sympathetic nervous system provides us with energy to respond to our
environment. The liver puts extra sugar into the bloodstream, the heart pumps more blood, our
pupils dilate to help us see better, respiration increases, and we begin to perspire to cool the
body. The stress hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine are released. We experience these
responses as arousal.

III. LEARNING OBJECTIVES

At the end of the lesson, the students should be able to:

LO1.define and understand emotion and its different types
LO2.manage emotions in self and relationships
LO3.learn and adapt the “Five Ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence at Work”
LO4.learn to manage stress, conflict and time

IV. LESSON PROPER

PART 1: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Definition of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) is a term created by two researchers – Peter Salavoy
and John Mayer – and popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1996 book of the same name. It is
defined as the ability to:

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 • The ability to be aware of, name, and manage one’s emotions

• The ability to be aware of, name, and understand other’s emotions

• The ability to relate to others in effective ways both personally and professionally

In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact
people (positively and negatively), and learning how to manage those emotions – both our own
and others – especially when we are under pressure.

The Five Components of EI (image on the right)

These form the foundation for all competencies and skills. They provide the ability for us to
adjust to change, maintain our commitments to people, help us find satisfaction in
relationships, and create balance in our emotional lives.

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How Do I Perceive and Name Emotions in Me?
What Are Emotions?
What Good are Emotions?
What Function Do Emotions Serve? How Do Emotions Get Formed?
How to Perceive & Accurately Name Emotions
Self-Compassion & Self-Validation

The Oxford Dictionary definition of emotion is: "A strong feeling deriving from one's
circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. "Emotions are responses to significant internal and
external events.

How Do I Perceive and Name Emotions in Others?

Six Universal Emotions
Various Expressions of Emotions
Barriers to Perceiving Emotions in Others
Taking Interest & Validating Other’s Viewpoints & Concerns
Non-judgement – Equanimity

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 6 Universal Emotions

Perceiving and Naming Emotions in Others

• Be Attentive & Observe Others
• Notice Your Intuition & Feelings
• Notice Facial Expressions
• Notice Body Language
• Notice Tone of Voice
• Effective Listening
• Validate Viewpoints & Concerns
• Acknowledge their uniqueness,
experiences and feelings

Barriers to Perceiving Emotions in Others

• Self-Reference
• Self-Absorbed In Your Own Thoughts & Feelings
• Lack of Empathy & Compassion & Interest
• Devalues Emotions (in self or others)
• Ashamed or Uncomfortable with Emotions
• Avoidance - Don’t Know How to Respond

How Do I Regulate Distressing Emotions?

Emotion Dis-regulation
Skills to Regulate Emotions
Be in the Present Moment
Wise Mind - In Making Decisions & Taking Action
Radical Acceptance - Serenity
Adaptability, Flexibility, Openness to Change

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How Do I Manage Relationships with Skill & Effectiveness?
Effective Listening and Communication
Assertiveness Skills
Validate BOTH Your Viewpoint and the Other’s Viewpoint
Influence Others with Persuasion NOT Harsh Conversion
Conflict Management - Know the Rules
Be Aware of Common Goals
Respect, Courtesy, Compassion, Kindness, Professionalism

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PART 2: STRESS MANAGEMENT

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PART III. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Conflict is defined in many ways. The Latin word ‘conflictus’, a "striking together with force",
implies disagreement, discord, and friction among members of a group; interaction where words,
emotions, and actions "strike together" to produce disruptive effects. Conflict is an unavoidable
outgrowth of group life, for by entering into relations with others we must negotiate and renegotiate our
undertakings and our outcomes.

There are four main types of conflict: Interpersonal Conflict, Intrapersonal Conflict, Intergroup
Conflict.
INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
• Pseudo-Conflict: - This type of conflict happens when people have misunderstandings with each other.
Sometimes two people perceive their goals as incompatible, but in fact the goals are compatible. That is
known as a pseudo conflict. Pseudo conflict can be easily solved by clarification of information or
meaning.
• Simple Conflict: - This type of conflict occurs when people disagree about certain issues. This can occur
when each of two individuals knows what each other wants, but neither can achieve their own goals
without preventing the other from achieving theirs.
• Ego Conflict: -This type of conflict is caused when personalities within a group clash. It is essentially a
struggle between two people that is characterized by name calling and blaming. Ego conflict puts the
other on the defensive and tends to ignore the original issue.

INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICT- Conflict within the individual.

• Approach conflict: an individual must choose among alternatives, each of which is expected to have a
positive outcome.

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• Avoidance conflict: an individual must choose among alternatives, each of which is expected to have a
negative outcome. • Avoidance conflict: an individual must decide whether to do something that has
both positive and negative outcomes.

INTERGROUP CONFLICT- An overt expression of tensions between goals or concerns of one group or
those of another group. There are opposing interests, group boundaries or group differences involved. The
conflict is directly or indirectly related to culture group identities. Sources of this type of conflict
includes: Competing Goals; Competition of Resources; Cultural Differences; Power Discrepancies;
Assimilation vs. Preservation of micro cultural identity.

INTRAGROUP CONFLICT This type of conflict is conflict between the group members. There are two
types of conflict:
• Relationship conflict • Relationship conflict exists when there are interpersonal incompatibilities
among group members, which typically includes tension, animosity, and annoyance among members
within a group.
• Task conflict • Exists when there are disagreements among group members about the content of the
tasks being performed, including differences in viewpoints, ideas, and opinions. Our natural reactions to
conflict are based in our biology: when confronted with danger, our innate biological response is to either
attack or run away – the famous Fight or Flight syndrome. • Fight reaction can translate into
confronting, arguing, yelling, and even shoving or hitting. • Flight reaction causes us to quickly give in
to others, leave uncomfortable situations, or avoid bringing up difficult issues.

Conflict is often needed. It:

1. Helps to raise and address problems.
2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.
3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.
4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.

Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly
managed that is the problem.

Conflict is a problem when it:

1. Hampers productivity.
2. Lowers morale.
3. Causes more and continued conflicts.
4. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Types of Managerial Actions that Cause Workplace Conflicts:

1. Poor communications
a. Employees experience continuing surprises, they aren't informed of new decisions, programs,
etc.
b. Employees don't understand reasons for decisions, they aren't involved in decision-making.
c. As a result, employees trust the "rumor mill" more than management.

2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:

a. Disagreement about "who does what".
b. Stress from working with inadequate resources.

3. "Personal chemistry", including conflicting values or actions among managers and employees, for
example:
a. Strong personal natures don't match.

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 b. We often don't like in others what we don't like in ourselves.

4. Leadership problems including inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level
in the organization), evidenced by:
a. Avoiding conflict, "passing the buck" with little follow-through on decisions.
b. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace. c.
Supervisors don't understand the jobs of their subordinates.

Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts

1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee's input to them.

a. Write down and date job descriptions. Ensure:
b. Job roles don't conflict.
c. No tasks "fall in a crack".
2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.
a. Meet at least once a month alone with them in office.
b. Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.
3. Get regular, written status reports and include:
a. Accomplishments.
b. Currents issues and needs from management.
c. Plans for the upcoming period.
4. Conduct basic training about:
a. Interpersonal communications.
b. Conflict management.
c. Delegation.
5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees' input.
a. Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate.
b. Get employees' review of the procedures.
c. Distribute the procedures.
d. Train employees about the procedures.
6. Regularly hold management meetings, for example, every month, to communicate new initiatives and
status of current programs.
7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.

Ways People Deal With Conflict:

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major
ways that people use to deal with conflict.
1. Avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it.
- Use it when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Usually this approach tends to worsen the
conflict over time.
2. Accommodate it. Give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself.
- Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you
will have another more useful approach in the very near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the
conflict over time, and causes conflicts within yourself.
3. Competing. Work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love
accommodators.
- Use when you have a very strong conviction about your position.
4. Compromising. Mutual give-and-take.
- Use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on.
5. Collaborating. Focus on working together.

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 - Use when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This
approach sometimes raises new mutual needs.
- Use when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.

To Manage a Conflict Within Yourself - "Core Process"

It's often in trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps will help you
in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5 sentences or less.
2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?
3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that will not hurt, or be
least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.
4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear improvement.

To Manage a Conflict with Another - "Core Process"

1. Know what you don't like about yourself, early on in your career. We often don't like in others what we
don't want to see in ourselves.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot buttons".
2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person are getting heated up, then manage yourself to stay
calm by:
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is not heated up - this can be very effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.
3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.
4. Give the other person time to vent. a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they are saying.
5. Verify that you're accurately hearing each other. When they are done speaking:}
a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing from them to ensure
you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-ended questions. Avoid "why" questions - those questions often
make people feel defensive.
6. Repeat the above step, this time for them to verify that they are hearing you. When you present your
position
a. Use "I", not "you".
b. Talk in terms of the present as much as possible.
c. Mention your feelings.
7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.

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8. Work the issue, not the person. When they are convinced that you understand them: a. Ask "What can
we do fix the problem?" They will likely begin to complain again. Then ask the same question. Focus on
actions they can do, too.
9. If possible, identify at least one action that can be done by one or both of you. a. Ask the other person
if they will support the action. b. If they will not, then ask for a "cooling off period".
10. Thank the person for working with you.
11. If the situation remains a conflict, then:
a. Conclude if the other person's behavior conflicts with policies and procedures in the workplace and
if so, present the issue to your supervisor.
b. Consider whether to agree to disagree.
c. Consider seeking a third party to mediate

PART IV: TIME MANAGEMENT

~ The bad news is time flies; the good news is you are the pilot.
~ -Michael Altshuler

• The myth of time management;

– All we can manage is ourselves and the time that we have. Despite all our best efforts, there will never
be more than 24 hours in one day.
– Time management is really about changing behaviors, not changing time itself.
– Goals must be set to improve time management and then followed up on to see whether or not you are
accomplishing them.

1.Keeping too many things in your head

• Using memory to keep track of what you need to do and where you need to be
– Leads to feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed
– Easy to forget important things
– Hard to plan and prioritize
– Waste time trying to remember what you need to do
– Causes distractions and lack of
focus * Ideas to help change behaviors
• Write to do lists (I do a monthly list)
• Outlook reminders
• Cell phone reminders
• Planner
• Calendar
2.Doing whatever grabs your attention
• Things that grab your attention are not always important, and don’t always represent the best
way to spend your time
• Urgent things are not always important and important things are not always urgent
• It is much more effective to work on related tasks for a period of time than to jump from one
unrelated task to another
* Ideas to help change behaviors
• Make a plan and work your plan
• Figure out how much time you have to work on tasks for the planned time
• Plan your time based on order of priority, then you can complete the important things and defer
the other tasks to someone else or to another day
3.Not spending enough time on top priorities

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 • Symptoms of poor prioritization
– Too much to do and not enough time
– Feeling overwhelmed and out of control
– Feeling under constant time pressure
– Not making significant progress on important goals
• You must consciously choose to spend time on what is most important, don ’t let others choose
for you
*Ideas to help change behaviors
• Prioritize your to-do list
– ABCD system
– Make supervisor priorities your priorities
• Make time for important things
– You will never find time, if you want time, you must make it
• Avoid ‘drifting into trivia’
– Drifting away from the important to the trivial; a phone call, email, visitor, colleague etc.

4. Efficiently doing things that don’t need done

• Habit that you fall into without realizing
• Usually one of the following is to blame
– Perfectionism
– Gold-plating (spending time doing things that are easy, interesting, and fun but don ’t add value)
– Human nature (doing easy ‘filler’ tasks such as organizing the desk)
– Lack of clarity (losing track of what is to be
accomplished) *Ideas to help change behaviors
• Plan out your weekly/monthly goals
• Post the goals where they are visible or seen often by you
• Write out what you do by item every day with times listed. Go back and assign priorities to see
where you are missing things or doing things that don’t need done at all.
5. Poor planning
• One of the most important factors in time management
• Every minute spent planning can save three in execution
• People don’t plan because;
– They don’t understand the value (often you do well despite lack of planning, not because you
are not planning
– Immediate gratification (takes time to see results)
– Don’t know how to plan effectively (practice to avoid over planning)
6. Disorganized/distracted work environment

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 • Piles of paper
• Lack of inflow management
• Need of reminders
• Mental context of your work
6. Ideas to help change behavior
• Get your desk, office, and email organized
• Create ‘homes’ for everything in your office as well as for the work you know will be coming
• Utilize MS Outlook as a reminder system instead of just an email system
• When you are finished looking at something, file it or throw it away
7. Attempting to do too much
• Most of the time the cause for this is you
• Underestimating time tasks will take
• Overestimating how much you can accomplish
• Always saying ‘yes’
• Doing tasks out of guilt
* Ideas to help change behaviors
• Understand you cannot do everything
• Learn to say ‘no’
• Listen to yourself, if you feel like you are overloading yourself, take a step back and prioritize
• At some point, you have to choose what you are going to need to give up to accomplish what is
truly important and meaningful in your life
8. Always saying ‘yes’
• Major reason for overloading and stress
• May feel like you are really going to make a difference (ex: service projects)
• May feel like it will get you the pay raise/promotion you desire
• Don’t realize how much it costs you
• Desire to please, fear of rejection
* Ideas to help change behaviors
• Know that whenever you take on something new, you always give up something else
• Instead of responding immediately, tell the requesting party that you will think about it
• “A ‘no’ uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘yes ’ merely uttered to
please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” ~Mahatma Ghandi~
9. Not Managing your Inflows
• Work arrives in different ways
– email, phone call, drop-in visitor, items from meetings, self-imposed
• Causes forgotten requests, incomplete work, misplaced information, feelings of anxiety and
being overwhelmed
*Ideas to help change behaviors
• Learn to read through and prioritize content of inflow; handle right away, postpone or delegate,
file away, or trash
• Develop a systematic way of handling, capturing, and processing all inputs and projects
• Capture and process each item effectively, determine relevance, write it down so it won ’t be
forgotten
10. Confusing Activity with Productivity
• Just because you are active and busy doesn’t mean that you are productive or making significant
progress
• Doing meaningless work that doesn’t bring you closer to your ultimate goals
• Fixing problems or putting out fires
• Presenteeism – physically present at work but distracted and unfocused
* Ideas to help change behaviors

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 • Look at the higher levels of purpose, mission, vision, and goals to improve levels of
productivity and effectiveness
• Take time for rest and renewal so your focus and productivity levels are at their peak
• Get comfortable, eliminate distractions from your work environment

Microsoft Outlook Basics

• Email and much more
• Setting up additional files
• Calendar reminders
• Calendar invites

Practical Ideas on Saving Time

• Write things down, prioritize your list
• Carry a notebook for ideas and notes
• Think before acting
• Strive for continual improvement
• Use a time management system
• Identify bad habits
• Don’t do other people’s work
• Know and use your energy cycles
• Avoid saving too much in your files
• Weigh task importance
• Clean off your work area
• Take time to relax every day
• Don’t overschedule
• Establish weekly planning routines
• Record your favorite TV shows
• Backup your computer files
• Make checklists for repeat tasks
• Take baby steps to good time management
• Get active
• Get enough sleep
• Have fun!

V. SUMMARY OF THE LESSON

Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to
understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate
effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional
intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your
career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into
action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.
As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in
life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and
unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence

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 quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get
into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing
your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one
another.

If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress
wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows your
ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life. It may seem like there’s nothing you
can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and
your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control
than you might think.

Effective stress management helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be
happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work,
relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet
challenges head on. But stress management is not one-size-fits-all. That’s why it’s important to
experiment and find out what works best for you. The following stress management tips can help
you do that.

Time management is the ability to use your time productively and efficiently. You could also
think of it as the art of having time to do everything that you need, without feeling stressed about
it. It sounds simple, but it is much harder in practice. This page explains some of the principles
behind good time management. Time management skills are essential because few, if any, of us
ever have enough time to do everything that is asked of us, or that we want to do.

Time management is defined as using your time productively and efficiently—but what
about when you are working as productively as possible, and you still can’t get everything done?
It may be better to think about time management as a combination of working productively and
prioritizing your time.

In other words, people who are good at time management are good at getting on and doing
things. They are also, however, better at prioritizing, and working out what really needs doing—
and then discarding the other things.

Conflict management is the practice of being able to identify and handle conflicts sensibly,
fairly, and efficiently. Since conflicts in a business are a natural part of the workplace, it is
important that there are people who understand conflicts and know how to resolve them. This is
important in today's market more than ever. Everyone is striving to show how valuable they are
to the company they work for and at times, this can lead to disputes with other members of the
team.

Conflicts happen. How an employee responds and resolves conflict will limit or enable that
employee's success. Here are five conflict styles that a manager will follow according to Kenneth
W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann:

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 An accommodating manager is one who cooperates to a high degree. This may be at the
manager's own expense and actually work against that manager's own goals, objectives, and
desired outcomes. This approach is effective when the other person is the expert or has a better
solution.

Avoiding an issue is one way a manager might attempt to resolve conflict. This type of
conflict style does not help the other staff members reach their goals and does not help the
manager who is avoiding the issue and cannot assertively pursue his or her own goals. However,
this works well when the issue is trivial or when the manager has no chance of winning.

Collaborating managers become partners or pair up with each other to achieve both of their
goals in this style. This is how managers break free of the win-lose paradigm and seek the win-
win. This can be effective for complex scenarios where managers need to find a novel solution.

Competing: This is the win-lose approach. A manager is acting in a very assertive way to
achieve his or her own goals without seeking to cooperate with other employees, and it may be at
the expense of those other employees. This approach may be appropriate for emergencies when
time is of the essence.

Compromising: This is the lose-lose scenario where neither person nor manager really
achieves what they want. This requires a moderate level of assertiveness and cooperation. It may
be appropriate for scenarios where you need a temporary solution or where both sides have
equally important goals.

VI. SELF PROGRESS TEST/ACTIVITY

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VII. ANSWER TO SELF-PROGRESS TEST/COMMENTS
The answers of the students in the activity may be evaluated using a set of rubrics
established by the instructor.

VIII. SUPPLEMENTARY READINGS AND MATERIALS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wk9av1MKEo0&t=85s
(Emotional Intelligence in Leadership)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKSLjWvCa14&t=8s
(The Mindset Behind Successful Relationships)
IX. REFERENCES
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
https://www.scribd.com/presentation/52311729/Conflict-Management-090903115227-
Phpapp02 https://www.scribd.com/presentation/286022542/stressstressmanagement-
120510110312-phpapp02 https://www.slideshare.net/ajcoker/time-management-
1518548 https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-
eq.htm https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/time-management.html
https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-conflict-management-definition-styles-
strategies.html

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