FOUL-SMELLING URINE

Dear Dr Proctor

For several hours after eating asparagus, my urine has an offensive, fetid
smell. Is this normal? Should I avoid asparagus at all costs?

Dear Stinky

What you describe is usually a common and harmless characteristic of human

digestion and excretion. The distinctive flavour of asparagus is due to a
mixture of proteins that are rapidly dealt with by the liver and transported to
the urinary bladder.

Taste and smell, though closely related, can be at odds with each other. The
durian, a large, spiky, tropical fruit, is prized for its exquisite flavour but its
odour is strong and repellent to many noses. Durians are banned from lifts and
public buildings in several Asian countries, such is the power and durability of
their rancid stench.

Are you sure that your foul-smelling urine is always associated with the recent
consumption of asparagus? You may have erratic liver or kidney function,
aggravated by a range of foods. The progressive failure of these organs can be
rapid and life-threatening. Should this be your problem, an early, painful death
can only be staved off by dialysis several times a week or a transplant.

Keep a detailed diary of everything you eat and drink, paying attention to the
small print describing the contents of packets and cans. If you urinate standing
up, the tell-tale odours may not reach your nose. Before flushing, kneel in
front of the lavatory bowl and lower your head as far as you can. Should the
smell be present when you have not recently eaten asparagus, consult a
specialist without delay and resign yourself to years of indifferent health.