id’s cti it ontest

b im leefeld
Young children will watch something above their intellectual
level if there are older kids present. They become absorbed in the
learning process of trying to understand what the older children
nd appealing. But you cannot work the other way round—if you
appeal mostly to the youngest sense of humor, you will invite scorn
and ridicule from older children.
If you have a mixed-age crowd, sometimes you can appeal to the
humor of different ages all in one routine. Here is an example
routine which I call Kid’s Activity Contest. You need an applause
meter prop and a few signs. Trevor Lewis’s Clap-O-Meter sign or
Axtell’s Off the Meter box would work.
You also need ve to seven
signs, each with one activity
word or phrase on it. They can
say Jump, Sing, Dance, Tell A
Joke, Funny-Face, Wiggle, or
other activities. Instead of
simple talents, you could also
use phrases for strange
activities such as “Wiggle Your
Ears” or “Walk Like a Pigeon”
or “Snake Crawl.” One of the
signs has to say “Nothing.”
Lightly mark the backs so you
know what each sign says.
Play some fancy TV-show
style music. Announce that the
next routine will be an Activity
Contest or a Talent Show. You
can call it Cleveland’s Got Talent, localizing it to the town where
you are performing. Bring out the packet of signs, face down. Show
a few cards and false shuf e them if you want, then set the stack
face down on your table.
Now start picking kids to perform in the talent contest. Check
the stack of cards to see which activity is on top and choose an
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appropriate child for that activity. Your goal is to choose kids who
you think might act appropriately funny for the skill card they get.
An older boy who has been talkative might be a good choice for
“Tell a Joke,” but a quiet younger girl might be too shy to do that. A
6-year-old might be willing to Dance in front of others, but a 10-
year-old might be too embarrassed by peer pressure.
If you put this routine in your repertoire and perform it many
times, you will get to be quite good at estimating which kids in
your audience would be right for which activity.
Don’t worry if the rst or second instance is less than ideal. Just
keep offering it and you will get better at picking the right kids.
Go down your list of activity cards and pick four or ve kids to
come up to the front. Hand each the top card as if it was a random
choice, but do not have the children perform just yet. It is important
to get them all up front in a line and holding their cards before you
begin any activities. Lining up and waiting is important, as it will
give them time to think about what they are going to do. In a
moment you will ask each child in turn to perform their activity, so
you want them to know what type of activity it is and have a few
moments to think about what they will do. If a child has randomly
volunteered to tell a joke, you need to give him this time to think of
what joke he will tell.
The last card you have should go to a cute, quiet, attentive 4- or
5-year-old girl. That card simply says “Nothing.” When it is her
turn to do her activity, you will want her to stand still and smile
and do nothing. Your goal here is to pick the youngest, smallest
person you can who is willing to stand in front of others and obey.
If you choose someone too young or too shy, she will cry. If you
pick someone too old or too tall, the bit will not be funny. What
works best for this routine is a line of all 7-, 8- and 9-year-olds
except for the one 4-year-old.
Bring out the Axtell Off the Meter and start the contest. Go left to
right according to the way you chose the volunteers. One at a time,
ask each child to perform the activity on their sign. If the rst boy is
holding then Dance card, ask him to show off his best dance moves.
And so on. If someone is too shy or embarrassed to participate, give
them some assistance. You can suggest a song title or encourage
them to imitate you as you show a simple dance step. It is
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important that you allow each child to express himself or herself,
but you want to avoid putting pressure on them.
When you get to the last person it will be the youngest, shortest
child in line. Remind her that it is her turn and that she has to do
the activity she received—nothing. Tell her to “do nothing.” Stand
and pause while you watch her not moving. Trust me—I’ve
presented this routine dozens of times—after a few moments of the
girl standing still doing nothing, the audience will laugh and
applaud.
Now hold up your Off the Meter. Go down the row and tell the
audience that they should applaud for their favorite talent display.
Hold the meter sensor by each child, one at a time, and ask the
audience to applaud. As you do, make the arrow go up and down
by pushing the lever on top of the prop.
Always make it go past the middle, but never all the way to the
top as you measure the applause for the older kids. When you get
to the last child—the four-year-old— ask the audience to applaud
for the sweet little girl who did Nothing. They will always, I mean
always, applaud the loudest for this child.
Kids and adults alike will think it is great fun to let the person
who did nothing be the winner. And the fact that you chose the
youngest and shortest person for this role guarantees it. Let the
Axtell Off-The-
Meter box explode
open and push the
noise buzzer.
After a moment or
two, close by
saying that
everyone was a
winner in the
contest, and have
the audience give
everyone another
round of
applause.