HOW TO WRITE DATA COMMENTARY

Table 1. Means of PC Virus Infection in U.S. Businesses

Source Percentage
Disks from home 43%
Electronic bulletin board 7%
Sales demonstration disk 6%
Repair or service disk 6%
Company, client, or consultant disk 4%
Shrink-wrapped application 3%
Other download 2%
Disk from school 1%
Local area network supervisor disk 1%
Purposely planted 1%
Came with PC 1%
Undetermined 29%
From 1992 IEEE

Structure of Data Commentary

1. Location elements and/or summary statements

2. Highlighting statements
3. Discussions of implications, problems, exceptions, etc.

Location Elements and Summaries

Examples

Location Summary
Table 5 shows the most common modes of computer infection for U.S. businesses.
Table 2 provides details of the fertilizer used
Figure 4.2 gives the results of the second experiment

Summary Location
The most common modes of infection are shown in Table 5.
Details of the fertilizers used are provided in Table 2.
The results of the second experiment are given in Figure 4.2.

Other examples

As shown in Table 1, home disks are the most frequent source of infection.
As can be seen in Figure 8, infant mortality is still high in urban areas.
As revealed by the graph, the defect rate has declined.

Practice

Fill in the blanks with an appropriate preposition.

1. As can be seen _____ Figure 4, earnings have decreased.

2. As revealed _____ Figure 2, the lightweight materials outperformed traditional metals.
3. As described _____ the previous page, there are two common types of abstracts.
 4. As stated _____ Appendix B, per in percent or kilometers per hour is a Latin preposition
that originally meant through or by.
5. As described _____ the previous unit, passives are common in process descriptions.
6. As can be seen _____ a comparison of the two tables, household income is a more
reliable predictor than level of education.
7. As is often the case _____ materials _____ this type, small cracks pose a serious
problem.
8. As has been demonstrated _____ many similar experiments, these materials have many
advantages.

Highlighting Statements

The central sections of data commentaries consist of highlighting statements. Highlighting

statements are generalizations that you can draw from the details of the data display.
Highlighting statements need good judgment. They are an opportunity to show the following:

 That you can spot trends or regularities in the data

 That you can separate more important findings from less important ones, and
 That you can make claims of appropriate strength.

So do not do any of the following:

 Simply repeat all details in words

 Attempt to cover all the information, or
 Claim more than is reasonable or defensible.

Examples

A reduced speed may result in fewer highway injuries.

There is strong possibility that a reduced speed limit will result in fewer injuries.
Consumers seem to have less confidence in the economy today than ten years ago.
Consumers in most income brackets have less confidence in the economy.
Deregulation caused the banking crisis.
Deregulation contributed to the banking crisis.

Qualifying comparisons

Weak:
Fifty-six percent of girls reported restrictions on going out late at night as opposed to 35% of
boys.

Improved:
Twenty-one percent more girls reported restrictions on going out late at night.

Practice

Complete each sentence.

1. Almost exactly twice as many boys reported…
2. A marginally smaller percentage of girls reported…
3. Slightly over twice as many boys reported…
4. Close to three times as many boys reported…
5. Boys exceeded girls in the times they reported… by a ratio of 2.5 to 1.
Concluding a Commentary

Qualifications can be important in making highlighting statements. They can be even more so in
the concluding parts of a commentary.

Examples

1. The difference between expected and obtained results may be due to the incorrect
calibration of the instruments.
2. This discrepancy can be attributed to the small sample size.
3. The anomaly in the observations can probably be accounted for by a defect in the camera.
4. The lack of statistical significance is probably a consequence of weaknesses in the
experimental design.
5. The difficulty in dating this archeological site would seem to stem from the limited
amount of organic material available.

Source:

Swales, C. & Feak, C. (1994). Academic writing for graduate students: A course for non-native
speakers of English. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.

Other Examples:

Structure of Data Commentary

Table 1. Clientele recognition of library terms and concepts used by librarians

Most Recognized Mean Least Recognized Mean

Terms/Concepts (%) Rank Terms/Concepts (%) Rank

OPAC 84 1 Microfiche 10 1

Copyright 81 2.5 Gazetteeers 11 2

Revised Edition 81 2.5 Collection Development 12 3

Bibliography 80 4 Reserve 20 4

Circulation 69 5 Citation 25 5

Reference Service 66 6 Document Delivery 26 6

Call Number 59 7.5 Interlibrary Loan 27 7

Microfilm 59 7.5 Cross Reference 28 8

Table of Contents 52 9 Library Holdings 31 9

Biography 49 10 Abstract 33 10
 Presentation: Introducing what the table or figure is all about.

Table 1 shows the ranking of the most and least recognized terms and concepts by the
respondents.

Analysis: Discussing the data presented in the table or figure.

Identified as the most recognized terms were OPAC (84%), copyright (81%), revised
edition (81%), bibliography (80%), and circulation (69%). Microfiche (10%), gazetteers (11%),
collection development (12%), reserve (20%), and citation (25%) were the least recognized
terms. The same terms have been revealed by the librarians interviewed to be either identified
easily or hardly by the library users.

Interpretation: Giving meaning to the data in the table or figure.

The extent to which respondents recognized terms used in the library may be attributed to
the law of exercise which is concerned with the practice of a learning skill. Further, the more
frequently new learning is repeated, the better the learning. In library use and patronage, when
students are not expose to the use of available materials and other services offered by the library,
familiarity with terms is likely to be affected. According to the law of disuse, a skill that is not
practiced and knowledge that is not used are forgotten (Torres, 1994). This observation is very
much evident in the respondents’ low recognition level of the terms as indicated in table 1.
Scale of Qualification

Percentage Probability

Guide Quantity Frequency Adverbs/Adjectives Verbs

100%

all/every/each always certain(ly) will

most definite(ly) is/are

a majority (of) undoubtedly must/have to

many/much clearly should

a lot (of) usual(ly) presumably would

enough normal(ly) probably/probable ought to

general(ly) likely

some on the whole

a number (of) regular(ly)

several often conceivably may

frequent(ly) possibly/possible might

a minority (of) sometimes perhaps can

a few/a little occasional(ly) maybe could

few/little rare(ly) uncertain

seldom unlikely

hardly ever will

0%
scarcely ever is/are

can not

no/none/not never could not

any

If you are uncertain if a word is quantity or frequency you can normally check by seeing
if it can be used to answer the following questions:

Quantity: How many? How much?

Frequency: How often?

Student’s Sample of Data Commentary

25

20

15 Black
Yellow
10 Orange

0
Styrofoam Piece of Candy Plastic bag Any kind of
Paper wrappers metal

Fig. 1. Perceptions on non-biodegradable wastes among ADZU students

Figure 1 shows the perceptions on non-biodegradable waste samples among ADZU

students. The given waste samples are classified as non-biodegradable that should be thrown in
the black bin. Majority (23) of the students have correctly classified styrofoam and candy
wrappers. Some (14) of them have correctly classified plastic bag. 8 that comprise the minority
of the respondents know which color bin is for paper disposal and 6 of them on any kinds of
metal.

The expected classification of the samples is non-biodegradable. Most of the students

committed mistakes on classifying the samples. The extent to which respondents classified these
waste samples may be attributed to their awareness of what the black bin represents or what to
include in this classification, and the orientation on the implementation of the policy on solid
waste management. Confusion of whether the samples are to be classified as non-biodegradable
or recyclable also likely to result to improper segregation of wastes.