Chloe Jelani

Essay 4

I had this discussion today in my TOK class, aka Theory of Knowledge, with a couple of
my friends. We talked about how we in particular have grown up on the side of independence,
because our parents weren’t the ones we could openly talk to. I think this is an important topic
when it comes to women, but especially young women in my age group. Depending on the
situation, we aren’t protected, physically, mentally, or emotionally. We don’t depend on anyone
to help us out or cater to our wants or needs because all of our lives have been based on
independence. For instance, in my life, I mostly grew up without my father. My stepdad came
into my life, but it wasn’t that true father figure that is typically seen. I had no protector and I
had no one to constantly watch over me and make sure I was ok. Not even my older brother
was the one to do so. I was taking care of everyone else, so I learned how to take care of
myself. Having that independence at such a young age equips you to feel like you don’t need
that protection. And tbh do you really need that when you have learned to be there for yourself
for such a long time? That’s something I’m really trying to figure out. While growing up, having
to figure it out for myself was one of the main things that I’ve implemented in my brain. I had
to keep going and I had to realize that there would be no one to have open arms for me to cry
into. I struggle with letting people do things for me and when they do, I feel bad. Although this
seems like a good trait to have, in some instances it’s not. It has messed me up to a real point
where I won’t allow anyone to help me. I don’t know how to cry out for help and ask for it
because I feel like I can handle everything alone. Even though I might not know how to handle
it, I always say, “I’ll figure it out.