TECHNICAL WRITING

Prepared by

SHAMIM NADERI WALIZADAH

Senior Teaching Assistant

In

Department of English
College of Literature & Humanities

BALKH UNIVERSITY
Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan

2014
 Abstract

Writing well, especially in English, is an asset to anyone who aspires to succeed in the
academic or other professional fields in this age of English as a lingua franca. This textbook
consists of 11 chapters that include different types of technical writing topics. It is taught in the
fourth class of English Department, College of Literature and Humanities at Balkh University.
This textbook includes general information about writing, the history of writing, technical
communication, technical writing, letter writing, report writing, proposal writing, writing process
and mechanics.
 Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1 - Introduction .................................................................................... 1

The Definition and History of Writing ............................................................... 1
Definition of Writing ...................................................................................... 1
History of Writing ........................................................................................... 2
Technical Communication .................................................................................. 7
CHAPTER 2 - Technical Writing ........................................................................... 8
History of Technical Writing .............................................................................. 8
Definition of Technical Writing...................................................................... 8
Uses for Technical Writing ............................................................................. 9
Tips for Good Technical Writing .................................................................... 9
CHAPTER 3 - Letter Writing ............................................................................... 11
Classification of Letters .................................................................................... 11
Friendly Letters ................................................................................................. 12
Purpose of a Friendly Letter.......................................................................... 12
How to Write a Friendly Letter ..................................................................... 12
Formatting Friendly Letters .......................................................................... 13
Heading ..................................................................................................... 13
Greeting or Salutation ............................................................................... 14
Body .......................................................................................................... 14
Closing ...................................................................................................... 14
Signature ................................................................................................... 14
Superscription on the envelope ................................................................. 14
CHAPTER 4 - Understanding the Principles of Business Communication ......... 16
Writing Business Correspondence .................................................................... 16
Selecting the Appropriate Medium and Form .................................................. 18
Letters on Organizational Stationery ............................................................ 18
Memos........................................................................................................... 19
E-mail Messages ........................................................................................... 19
Instant Messages ........................................................................................... 20
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 Faxes ............................................................................................................. 20
Telephone and Conference Calls .................................................................. 21
Voice-Mail Messages .................................................................................... 21
Face-to-Face Meetings .................................................................................. 22
Videoconferencing ........................................................................................ 22
Guidelines for Selecting the Medium: ...................................................... 22
Writing and Formatting Business Letters ......................................................... 23
Goodwill and the “You” Viewpoint.............................................................. 23
Guidelines for Using Tone to Build Goodwill .......................................... 27
Negative Messages and the Indirect Pattern ................................................. 27
Openings and Closings ............................................................................. 29
Writing Style and Accuracy ...................................................................... 30
Formatting Business Letters ......................................................................... 32
Heading ..................................................................................................... 33
Inside Address ........................................................................................... 33
Salutation .................................................................................................. 34
Body .......................................................................................................... 35
Complimentary Close ............................................................................... 35
Second Page .............................................................................................. 37
End Notation ............................................................................................. 38
Closing with Initials .................................................................. 38
Enclosure Notations: ................................................................. 38
Copy Notations: ........................................................................ 39
A Blind-Copy Notation: ............................................................ 39
P.S. ............................................................................................ 40
R. S. V. P. - Respondes S’il Vouss Plait [French] .................... 40
Per Pro....................................................................................... 40
Designing Your Document ....................................................................... 40
Guidelines for Formatting Letters ............................................................. 40
Routine and Positive Messages......................................................................... 41
Covers (or Transmittals) ............................................................................... 41
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 Acknowledgements ....................................................................................... 42
Inquiries ........................................................................................................ 44
Guidelines for Writing Inquiries: .............................................................. 45
Responses to Inquiries .................................................................................. 46
Sales and Promotions .................................................................................... 47
Guidelines for Writing Effective Sales Messages .................................... 50
Sensitive and Negative Messages ..................................................................... 51
Refusals ......................................................................................................... 51
Complaints .................................................................................................... 53
Adjustments .................................................................................................. 59
Guidelines for Writing Tactful Adjustment Letters .................................. 60
References ............................................................................................................. 64

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 CHAPTER 1 - Introduction

English is the international language today, especially in this age of global

interconnectedness. Writing well in English is a tool for economic advancement
everywhere in the world, not only in English speaking countries. Many essential
daily interactions may involve writing in English, for example, emailing friends,
writing a paper on the computer, and texting on cellular phones. However, the
ability to write well is not a skill that can be acquired without work. It takes
training and practice to write well even in one’s first language (L1). Naturally, it
is necessary for all learners of English as a foreign language (EFL) and English as
a second language (ESL) to work on their writing skills in order to be good
communicators whether for the purpose of business, education, or relationships.
However, it is yet largely unknown how well EFL students in countries where the
L1 literacy rate is low perform in EFL versus L1 writing.
Thus this textbook provides different issues that relates to technical
writing and business correspondence.

The Definition and History of Writing

Definition of Writing
Writing is a medium of communication that represents language through
the inscription of signs and symbols. In most languages, writing is a complement
to speech or spoken language. Within a language system, writing relies on many
of the same structures as speech, such as vocabulary, grammar and semantics,
with the added dependency of a system of signs or symbols, usually in the form of
a formal alphabet. The result of writing is generally called text, and the recipient
of text is called a reader. Motivations for writing include publication, storytelling,
correspondence and diary. Writing has been instrumental in keeping history,
dissemination of knowledge through the media and the formation of legal
systems. Under the influence of technologies such as data storage and computer
networks, the pace of correspondence and potential for collaboration increased.

1
 As human societies emerged, the development of writing was driven by
pragmatic exigencies such as exchanging information, maintaining financial
accounts, codifying laws and recording history. Around the 4th millennium BCE
(Before the Common Era), the complexity of trade and administration in
Mesopotamia outgrew human memory, and writing became a more dependable
method of recording and presenting transactions in a permanent form. In both
Ancient Egypt and Mesoamerica writing may have evolved through calendric and
a political necessity for recording historical and environmental events.

Writing can be defined as follows:

Writing is a phenomenon invented by human to help in the

communication process–it has become, indeed, a social and cultural practice in
most societies today.
Writing is a method of representing language in visual or tactile form.
Writing systems use sets of symbols to represent the sounds of speech, and may
also have symbols for such things as punctuation and numerals.
Writing is the activity or work of writing books, poems, stories, etc.
It is the way that you use written words to express your ideas or opinions:
books, poems, essays, letters, etc.

History of Writing

The history of writing is primarily the development of expressing

language by letters or other marks and also the study and describing of these
developments. In the history of how systems of representation of language
through graphic means have evolved in different human civilizations, more
complete writing systems were preceded by proto-writing, systems of ideographic
and/or early mnemonic symbols. True writing, in which the content of a linguistic
utterance is encoded so that another reader can reconstruct, with a fair degree of
accuracy, the exact utterance written down is a later development. It is
distinguished from proto-writing which typically avoids encoding grammatical

2
words and affixes, making it more difficult or impossible to reconstruct the exact
meaning intended by the writer unless a great deal of context is already known in
advance. One of the earliest forms of written expression is cuneiform.
Language existed long before writing, emerging probably simultaneously
with sapience, abstract thought and the Genus Homo. Oral communication
replaced the hoots and gestures still used by lower primates. The transfer of more
complex information, ideas and concepts from one individual to another, or to a
group, was the single most advantageous evolutionary adaptation for species
preservation. As long ago as 25,000-30,000 years BP, humans were painting
pictures on cave walls. Whether these pictures were telling a “story: or
represented some type of “spirit house” or ritual exercise is not known.
The advent of a writing system, however, seems to coincide with the
transition from hunter-gatherer societies to more permanent agrarian
encampments when it became necessary to count ones property, whether it be
parcels of land, animals or measures of grain or to transfer that property to
another individual or another settlement. We see the first evidence for this with
incised "counting tokens" about 9,000 years ago in the Neolithic Fertile Crescent.
Around 4100-3800 BCE, the tokens began to be symbols that could be
impressed or inscribed in clay to represent a record of land, grain or cattle and a
written language was beginning to develop. One of the earliest examples was
found in the excavations of Uruk in Mesopotamia at a level representing the time
of the crystallization of the Sumerian culture. The pictures began as representing
what they were, pictographs, and eventually, certain pictures represented an idea
or concept, ideographs, and finally to represent sounds.

Figure 1-1: Sample Pictographs from Sumerian Culture in Mesopotamia

woman
head Foot sun "day" hand

3
 Eventually, the pictographs were stylized, rotated and in impressed in clay
with a wedge shaped stylus to become the script known as Cuneiform. Written
language was the product of an agrarian society. These societies were centered on
the cultivation of grain. A natural result of the cultivation and storage of grain is
the production of beer. It is not surprising, therefore, that some of the very oldest
written inscriptions concern the celebration of beer and the daily ration allotted to
each citizen.
The signs of the Sumerians were adopted by the East Semitic peoples of
Mesopotamia and Akkadian became the first Semitic language and would be used
by the Babylonians and Assyrians. The Akkadian characters continued to
represent syllables with defined vowels. For the next step toward the development
of an alphabet, we must go to Egypt where picture writing had developed
sometime near the end of the 4th millennium BC. One of the earliest examples is
the name of NAR-MER, either the first or second Pharoah of a united Egypt in
3100 BCE. The name appears as two syllabic figures between the cows' heads on
the Kings cosmetic pallet.
Unlike Akkadian, the Egyptian syllabic system had no definitive vowels.
Some hieroglyphs were biliteral, some triliteral. Others were determinatives that
at the end of the word gave a sense of the word and others were ideographs. The
Egyptians used the acrophones as a consonantal system along with their syllabic
and idiographic system, therefore the alphabet was not yet born. The acrophonic
principal of Egyptian clearly influenced Proto-Canaanite/Proto-Sinaitic around
1700 BC. Inscriptions found at the site of the ancient torquoise mines at Serabit-
al-Khadim in the Sinai use less than 30 signs, definite evidence of a consonantal
alphabet rather than a syllabic system.
This is the alphabet that was the precursor to Phoenician, Greek and
Roman. Meanwhile, in the North another experiment in a consonantal alphabet
was taking place. An excavation of the ancient city of Ugarit, modern Ras
Shamra, has produced texts in a cuneiform script that was also consonantal. In
the order of the Alef-Beyt:

4
Figure 1-2: Ancient Semitic Alphabet

The Semitic languages diversified along geographic lines as Northwest

Semitic, Northeast, Southwest and Southeast. Northwest Semitic consists of 2
major groups, Aramaic and Canaanite. Canaanite is represented by Ugaritic,
Phoenician, and Hebrew. Northeast Semitic consists of the ancestral Akkadian,
represented by Babylonian and Assyrian. The Southwest and Southeast Semitic
languages consisted of North and South Arabic and Ethiopic.
The term epigraphy is generally used for writing on hard durable materials
such as stone or potsherds (ostraca) but some use the term for any inscriptional
remnants of a past civilization.
Paleography is the study of the progressive changes and developments in
the form of letters over time and is usually applied to writing on less durable
materials such as parchment, leather or papyrus. An experienced paleographer
can often date a specific manuscript with fair accuracy. Epigraphy on stone is
usually harder to date since more archaic forms were often retained for
monumental inscriptions.
The causes of changes in scripts were primarily sociological and
psychological, a script hand being a reflection of styles and trends for particular
time periods. Unfortunately, this is not measurable for the paleographer whose
primary tool is a systematic collection or database of thousands of exemplars of
written material of known date.
Spelling and the sequence of characters in a word and their setting in a
grammatical structure is the provenance of Orthography.
Using the fonts I have created for classroom work by my various scholar
friends in the discussion lists, I have arranged the following inscriptions of
Genesis 1:1 to display the development of the Semitic scripts since the 10th
century BCE.

5
 Figure 1-3: Archaic Scripts

Old Phoenician
10th-9th cent. BCE
Moabite 850 BCE
Early Aramaic 800
BCE
Siloam Inscription
700 BCE
Samaritan *
Lachish Ostraca 6th
cent. BCE

Figure 1-4: Aramaic Square Scripts

Elephantine Papyrus 5th

cent. BCE
Nabataean Aramaic 1st
cent. CE
Great Isaiah Scroll 200-
100 BCE
Habakkuk Pesher 150-100
BCE
Codex Leningradensis
1010 CE.

Modern Hebrew

The Phoenician Alphabet was adopted by the early Greeks who earned
their place in alphabetic history by symbolizing the vowels. Therefore, the
Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek scripts all came from the Phoenician. The Greek
alphabet led to Latin and Cyrillic. Aramaic led to Arabic and most of the scripts
used in India. The entire Western World became the inheritors of those beer
drinkers in Mesopotamia and the turquoise miners in the Sinai.

6
 Figure 1-5: Phoenician, Early Greek and Roman

Phoenician

Early Greek
Roman

Technical Communication

Technical communication is a broad field and it includes any form of

communication that exhibits one or more of the following characteristics:
Communicating about technical or specialized topics, such as computer
applications, medical procedures, or environmental regulations.
Communicating by using technology, such as web pages, help files, or
social media sites.
Providing instructions about how to do something, regardless of how
technical the task is or even if technology is used to create or distribute that
communication.
The value that technical communicators deliver is twofold: They make
information more useable and accessible to those who need that information, and
in doing so, they advance the goals of the companies or organizations that employ
them. What all technical communicators have in common is a user-centered
approach to providing the right information, in the right way, at the right time to
make someone’s life easier and more productive.

This textbook consists of 11 chapters which are introduction, technical

writing, letter writing, understanding the principles of business communication,
different types of letters, report writing, proposal writing, the writing process,
mechanics and miscellaneous technical writing related issues and conclusion.

7
 CHAPTER 2 - Technical Writing

Technical Writing is a rewarding and intellectually stimulating career.

The demand for writers who can communicate complex topics in simple formats
has never been greater. Technical writing isn't about 'dumbing down'; it is about
writing to the correct level. Technical writers are women and men with strong
language and interpersonal skills who produce documentation for some of the
smartest people in the world.

History of Technical Writing

While the origins of technical writing can be traced to antiquity, Geoffrey
Chaucer's Treatise on the Astrolabe has been called the first piece of technical
writing in English. Technical writing to be seen as a discipline in and of itself
around the time of World War I, growing out of the need for technology-based
documentation in the military, manufacturing, electronics, and aerospace
industries. In 1953, two organizations concerned with improving the practice of
technical communication were founded in the United States: the Society of
Technical Writers, and the Association of Technical Writers and Editors. These
organizations merged in 1957 to form the Society of Technical Writers and
Editors, a predecessor of the current Society for Technical Communication.

Definition of Technical Writing

Technical writing is a form of technical communication used in a variety
of technical and occupational fields, such as computer hardware and software,
engineering, chemistry, aeronautics, robotics, finance, consumer electronics, and
biotechnology.
Technical writing is a type of writing where the author is writing about a
particular subject that requires direction, instruction, or explanation. This style of
writing has a very different purpose and different characteristics than other
writing styles such as creative writing, academic writing or business writing.

8
 Uses for Technical Writing
Technical writing is straightforward, easy to understand explanations
and/or instructions dealing with a particular subject. It is an efficient and clear
way of explaining something and how it works.
The subject of technical writing can either be:
 Tangible - Something that can be seen or touched, such as a computer or
software program, or information on how to assemble a piece of furniture.
 Abstract - Something that involved a series of steps that aren't related to a
tangible object. One example of this might be steps required to complete
an office process.
Some examples of technical writing include:
 Instruction manuals
 Policy manuals
 Process manuals
 User manuals
 Reports of analysis
 Instructions for assembling a product
 A summarization of a long report that highlights and shortens the most
important elements

Tips for Good Technical Writing

Regardless of the type of document which is written, technical writing
requires the writer to follow the properties of knowing their audience, writing in a
clear, non-personal style and doing extensive research on the topic. By including
these properties, the writer can create clear instructions and explanations for the
reader.
o Know your audience. An expert in the field will understand certain
abbreviations, acronyms, and lingo that directly applies to such a field.
The novice will not understand in the same manner and, therefore, every
detail must be explained and spelled out for them.

9
o Use an impersonal style. Write from a third person perspective, like a
teacher instructing a student. Any opinions should be omitted.
o The writing should be straightforward, to the point, and as simple as
possible to make sure the reader understands the process or instruction.
This at times may appear as simply a list of steps to take to achieve the
desired goal or may be a short or lengthy explanation of a concept or
abstract idea.
o Know how to research. Gather information from a number of sources,
understand the information gathered so that it can be analyzed thoroughly,
and then put the information into an easy to understand format to instruct
those who read it. The more inexperienced your audience, the more
information you will need to gather and explain.
o Be thorough in description and provide enough detail to make your points;
but, you also have to consider that you need to use an economy of words
so that you do not bore your reader with gratuitous details.
A good technical writer can make a difficult task easy and can quickly
explain a complex piece of information.

10
 CHAPTER 3 - Letter Writing

Every educated person should know how to write a clear and readable
letter. Everyone has sometimes to write business letters of some sort, and may
have to face the problem of writing an important letter that will vitally affect his
interests in life. The art of letter writing is, therefore, no mere ornamental
accomplishment, but something that every educated person must acquire for
practical reasons.
A letter is a written message from one party to another that contains
information. Letters have been sent since antiquity. Letters are very much
important for all types of communication and everybody must have the skill of
writing it in their native language. Communications through letters is not only
more comfortable to understand but also more effective in results. Letters should
always be very much concise and to-the-point in its content. This will save the
time of the reader and they will be more likely to react to it. You must triple check
the spellings and grammar mistakes before finalizing it. You should also keep in
mind proper format for the letter type. Do remember that these sample letters are
provided here for the purpose of reference and guidance only and you can change
it as per your wish and need. We do not encourage you to use these letters as it is.
Instead you should get a feeling of letter from these samples and try to write by
your own.

Classification of Letters
Letters may be classified according to their different purposes. Thus:
o Social Letters, including Friendly Letters and Notes of Invitations.
o Business Letters, including Letters of Application, Letters to government
offices and Letters to Newspapers.
Friendly letters (also called personal letter) are letters that you write to a
friend or relative. They should include information about you, and ask questions
about how your friend or relative is doing. Friendly or personal letters are

11
informal and do not have to be typed. They should be written in an easy and
conversational style.
Business letters are more formal than friendly letters. They are usually
written to someone you do not know. You might write a business letter to request
information or to inform someone about a problem.

Friendly Letters
Letters are a way for us to communicate with others. A friendly letter
might tell someone that she/he is missed. It might ask for forgiveness or tell a
friend that you are praying for her/him.

Purpose of a Friendly Letter

A friendly letter (or informal letter) is a way of communicating between
two people or more who are usually well acquainted. There are many uses and
reasons for writing a friendly letter but friendly letters will usually consist of
topics on a personal level. Friendly letters can either be printed or hand-written.

How to Write a Friendly Letter

The friendly letter is typically less formal than that of a business letter.
Usually the first paragraph of the body will consist of an introduction which will
give the recipient an idea about why you're writing to them with a short summary
of the main topic of your letter. If you don't know the person you are writing to,
you may want to introduce yourself in this introductory paragraph as well.
The next few paragraphs will usually consist of the message you want to
get across along with any details you may want to convey.
The last paragraph will usually be the conclusion where you wrap
everything up. You can sum up your main idea in this paragraph, thank the
recipient for their time, wish the recipient well, and/or ask any questions.
Many early writers wrote their letters on papyrus or on parchment. Later
on we use lined paper, boxed stationery, or writing paper that we have decorated
ourselves. Today we type our letter in computer.

12
 Formatting Friendly Letters
Each friendly letter you write should have five parts. The first word in
each part is capitalized. The greeting and closing parts are followed by commas;
the comma in the heading is between the city and state and also between the day
and the year. In the body of the letter the writer uses paragraphs. He indents the
first line of each paragraph.

Figure 3-1: Friendly Letter Format

A friendly letter has 6 main parts which are as follows:

Heading
The heading informs the reader where you wrote the letter, and when. The
where, (which should be the writer’s full postal address) gives the address to
which the reader may reply; and the when is for reference, as it gives him the date
on which you wrote. This means that the heading includes the address and the
date. Check to make sure you have the correct information on the correct line. The
heading should be on the right side of the paper. See below.

13
First line - street number and street name
Second line - town or city, state and ZIP code
Third line - the date

Greeting or Salutation
The greeting will depend upon the relation in which you stand to the
person to whom you are writing. The greeting usually starts with 'Dear' and is
followed the person's name and then a comma.

Body
The body or communication is the message or the letter itself. After
skipping a line, you begin the body of your letter which is the main text of your
letter. Indent for each new paragraph. This is the main part of the letter. It gets to
the point of why you're writing. Change paragraphs and indent each time you
change the topic you're talking about. This is the longest part of the letter.

Closing
Closing is also called subscription or courteous leave-taking. A letter must
not end abruptly, simply with the writer’s name, because this would look rude.
The closing includes a short capitalized expression such as 'Sincerely' or 'Love'
and is followed by a comma. Skip a line after the body before writing your
closing.

Signature
You sign your name beginning directly below the closing. It is usually
signed in black or blue ink with a pen, sometimes in cursive.

Superscription on the envelope

The superscription is address on envelop or postcard should be clearly
written in back of the envelope.
Sometimes you may add a POSTSCRIPT at the end of your letter. You
write P.S., add a note and then end it with your initials. P.S. stands for post script
and means extra text added to a document or addition to a letter that was already
finished. As mentioned before if you want to add anything additional to the letter
14
you write a P.S. (post script) and the message after that. You can also add a P.P.S
after that and a P.P.P.S. after that and so on.

What kind of things might you write in your friendly letter?

1. Tell your friend about something fun you recently did.

2. Congratulate your friend on a job well done for a recent accomplishment.
3. Ask you friend some questions. (What is your favorite color? Do you have
any pets? Do you play sports? etc.)
4. Share about a place you visited.
5. Ask for advice.
6. Tell about a book you've just read that you think your friend would also
enjoy.

Figure 3-2: Sample Friendly Letter

January 4, 2014 __________________ Heading

Dear Sheri, ________________________________________________ Greeting

Body

I hope you’re feeling better. We miss you here at school!

Today we made pretzels. Then we wrote our won directions for twisting them.

It was fun, and the pretzels are delicious. Barb and I are sending you some.
When you come back next week, we’ll start practicing for our pray program.

We all want you to read the poem you wrote about Abraham Lincoln.

Your friend, ______________________ Closing

Steve __________________________ Signature

Pretzel - crisp snack made from baked salted dough

15
 CHAPTER 4 - Understanding the Principles of Business
Communication

Virtually all jobs involve at least some written communication – with

coworkers, supervisors/line managers, staff, clients, vendors, and customers. You
can achieve your goals and convey a professional image by using appropriate tone
and style in your writing and adhering to expected formats. This chapter covers
the skills essential to successful business communication.

Writing Business Correspondence

Business communication, especially the correspondence among people
within organizations or between those people and their clients or customers, is
essential to the success of individuals and businesses. Because of their
importance, such communications should be well written; those that are not waste
time and money. For example, the poorly written letter shown in Figure 4-1 was
actually sent to a law firm (the names have been changed). The staff at the law
firm could not understand it, even though a number of attorneys, paralegals, and
assistants were familiar with the case. Staff members exchanged e-mail messages
and phone calls with Ralph Madison and others at his company without success.
Finally, the law firm had to send someone to the company to identify the specific
services the company wanted its legal counsel to perform.
This letter wasted the time of a high-paid staff – and caused a delay in
legal services to Ralph Madison’s company. Further, carelessly written letters or
e-mail messages project a poor image of the writer that can result in other kinds of
losses. A reader’s negative reaction to an unclear or unprofessional message, for
example, can cost a firm its reputation and future business and can even cost an
employee his or her job. This chapter focuses on the most-common forms of
written correspondence – business letters, memos, e-mail messages, and instant
messages – and explains how to anticipate the challenges of communicating with
international readers. Writing business correspondence involves many of the steps
that go into most other on-the job writing, as well as some special considerations.
16
1. Establish your purpose, your reader’s needs, and your scope.
2. Outline key points. For a short letter, a memo, or an e-mail, jot down the
points you wish to make and the order in which you wish to make them.
3. Write a rough draft from the outline.
4. Allow for a cooling period, especially when a letter or an e-mail responds to a
problem. Don’t vent emotions. Even a lunch-hour break can give you a chance
to remove any hasty and inappropriate statements made in the heat of the
situation.
5. Revise the rough draft, checking for sense as well as for grammar, spelling,
and punctuation.
6. Adjust the format, especially the arrangements and spacing of letters parts,
and print a copy for review and proofreading before signing it.
7. Assume final responsibility: As the author of a letter or a memo, you are
responsible for its appearance and accuracy.

Figure 4-1: Poorly Written Business Letter

February 15, 2006

Mr. Stewart R. Cassidy

Fiorello and Cooke, Attorney at Law
1212 Broadway
Hartford, CT 06119
Omitted words
Dear Mr. Cassidy:
In regard to claim on Account #5-861 seewords
enclosed copy of letter received and copy of Confusing,
delivery receipt regarding same. There had been a claim which was disallowed and debtor run-on
sentence filled
withheld payment on the bill, and the one we referred to your office for collection, as no pro
with
was mentioned but the one the claim was on was referred to the bills is still open and they grammatical
still owe Universal, please review and advise. errors

Sincerely,
Unclear
Ralph Madison reference

Ralph Madison
Account Manager

17
 Selecting the Appropriate Medium and Form
Important as they are, letters and e-mail messages are not the only means
of communication available to businesspeople. The law firm, for example,
eventually had to meet with Ralph Madison to interpret his request to “review and
advise.” You can choose from a wide array of possibilities, including e-mail,
instant messaging, fax, voice mail, and videoconferencing in addition to more-
traditional means of communication, such as letters and memos, telephone calls,
and face-to-face meetings. With so many means of communication available, how
do organizations and individuals decide which is preferable in a given situation?
In selecting the appropriate medium, first consider the context, audience,
and objectives of the communication. For example, when you need to solve an
urgent problem, a written message (even one sent electronically) can take too long
or create confusion. A telephone call is the most-efficient choice in those
circumstances. When you need precise wording and you and your reader need a
permanent record of the information exchanged, a written message (letter, memo,
or e-mail) will be the best option. When you wish to establish close rapport with
someone in the interest of a long-term working relationship, a face-to-face
meeting is indispensable. Following is a description of the primary methods of
communicating and some of their salient characteristics. All are currently in use
because each communicates certain kinds of information better than the others,
even though the advantages overlap in some cases

Letters on Organizational Stationery

Letters are most appropriate for first contacts with new business associates
or customers as well as for other official business communications outside a
company or an organization. Stationery with an organization’s printed letterhead
and the writer’s handwritten signature communicates formality, respect, and
authority. A written promise, conveyed above the signature of an employee who
has the authority to act on behalf of an organization, ensures that the information
is accurate and that the sender will honor it. For example, a formal letter is often
used to summarize the terms and conditions of a proposed business relationship.

18
If you use express or overnight deliveries for letters and other documents, phone
or send an e-mail message ahead to alert the recipient that the material has been
sent. If speed is essential and the situation requires a signed document, you can
fax it and follow up by mailing the original.

Memos
Memos on printed company stationery or attached on an e-email message
are appropriate for internal communications among members of an organization;
even when offices are geographically separated. These in-house communications
have many of the same characteristics of letters; but memos are convenient for a
wider variety of functions – from announcements of organizational policy to short
reports.
Memo formats in most organizations are standardized. These formats
eliminate the features common to business letters, such as letterhead, an inside
addresses, a salutation, goodwill paragraphs, and formal closing elements. Memo
writers must follow their organization’s format standards, including whether to
use a “MEMO” header; what order to use for “To:,” “From:,” “cc:,” “Date:,” and
“Subject:”; and where to place your initials or signature, if required.

E-mail Messages
Electronic mail is used to send information, maintain professional
relationships, elicit discussion, collect opinions, and transmit many other kinds of
messages. E-mail can be a less-formal means of communication than either letters
or memos; however, e-mail provides the advantage that the same information can
be sent simultaneously at great speed to many recipients. For groups that
exchange frequent or recurrent messages, creating a discussion group (or listserv)
is convenient. Because e-mail recipients can print copies of messages they receive
and can easily forward them to others, business messages should always be
written with care and reviewed for accuracy before being sent.

19
 Instant Messages
Instant messaging (IM) is a communications service that allows the
exchange of text messages in real time between two or more people on computers,
cell phones, or personal digital assistants (PDAs). Unlike e-mail, IM akes place in
real time, like a phone call, and requires that all parties be logged in at the same
time.
Instant messaging can be a fast, convenient method for exchanging
messages and sharing files with colleagues, suppliers, and partners. It can help
people collaborate from scattered work sites, functioning like an abbreviated
Internet chat-room discussion. Instant messaging might be useful when a product
Web site is down, for example, and staff located in Europe or Asia must
communicate to repair it immediately. Of course, you should make sure not only
that your readers are comfortable with IM but also that the recipient’s IM system
is compatible with yours.

Faxes
A fax (facsimile transmission) is most useful when speed is essential and
when the information – a drawing or contract, for example – must be viewed in its
original form. Faxes are also useful when the recipient does not have access to e-
mail or the programs to view e-mail attachments or when graphic material has not
yet been converted into electronic form.
Note that faxed correspondence may seem less official than a traditional
letter, in part because the recipient does not receive the original stationery.
However, faxes are acceptable even in legal correspondence (some courts allow
filing of official document by fax). Of course, if an original is also important, the
paper copy can be sent separately by overnight or regular mail. Faxed letters
should be sent with a cover sheet (available as a word-processing template) or a
commercially prepared fax stick-on label.

20
 Telephone and Conference Calls
One of the advantages of phone calls is that they enable participants to
interpret tone of voice, so they are often helpful in resolving misunderstandings or
clarifying information. Of course, a phone call does not provide the visual cues
possible during face-to-face meetings.
Conference calls take place among three or more participants. They are a
less-expensive alternative to a face-to-face meeting that would require the
participants to travel to a central meeting place. They also provide a setting for the
immediate resolution of issues.
Such calls are more efficient if the person setting up the call works from
an agenda shared by all the participants. That person must be prepared to direct
the discussion as though he or she were leading a meeting. The participants
should also take notes on any key points or decisions made during the call. Of
course, the call must be planned to ensure that everyone is available at the same
time. Timing is especially important when participants are located in different
time zones-especially for international calls.

Voice-Mail Messages
Voice-mail systems allow callers to record messages when the person
called is not available. Anticipate what you will say if you reach a voice-mail
recording instead of the person you’ve called. Speak clearly and leave your name,
phone number, and the date and time of the call. Leave a succinct message (“Call
me about the deadline for the new project” or “I got the package from RTL, so
you don’t need to call the distributor”). If the message is complicated or contains
numerous details, use another medium, such as an e-mail message or a letter, to
ensure that the information is communicated accurately. If you want to discuss a
specific subject, let the recipient know so that he or she can prepare a response
when returning your call.

21
 Face-to-Face Meetings
Face-to-face meetings are most appropriate for initial or early contacts
with business associates and customers with whom you intend to develop an
important long-term relationship. Meetings are also the best medium for
exchanges in which you need to solve a serious problem. The most productive
meetings occur when all participants come prepared to contribute to a collective
effort toward a well-defined objective.

Videoconferencing
Videoconferences are particularly useful for meetings where travel is
impractical or too expensive. Unlike telephone conference calls, videoconferences
have the advantage of allowing participants to see as well as to hear one another.
Videoconferences work best with participants who are at ease in front of a
camera.

Guidelines for Selecting the Medium:

 Consider your audience, purpose, and what is typical or expected in your
organization. Generally, use written forms and messages for precise wording;
use telephone, videoconference, and in-person communication when you
need, for example, to resolve a misunderstanding.
 Use letters on organizational stationery for outside business communications;
printed letterhead on quality paper communicates formality, respect, and
authority.
 Use memos (printed and electronic) for in-house business communications –
from policy announcements to short reports.
 Use e-mail to send messages and electronic documents, maintain professional
relationships, elicit discussions, and collect opinions from distant as well as
wide audiences.
 Use instant messaging when you need to communicate and share files in real
times with one or more people in scattered locations who do not have e-mail
access at their current locations.

22
 Use faxes when the exact image of nondigital documents must be viewed and
when speed matters.
 Use telephone and conference calls when give-and-take or tone of voices is
important; conference calls, when carefully planned, are a less-expensive
alternative to a face-to-face meeting for participants in distant locations.
 Use voice mail for short, uncomplicated messages.
 Use face-to-face meetings for early contacts with business associates and
customers or when solving problems.
 Use videoconferencing as a substitute for face-to-face meetings when travel is
impractical.

Writing and Formatting Business Letters

Business letters are naturally much more formal in style than friendly
letters. Business letters should be terse, clear and to the point. Businessmen are
busy men, and have no time to read long, rambling and confused letters. This
chapter includes different types of business correspondence.
One important consideration in business correspondence is the impression
you convey to readers. To convey a professional image – of yourself and your
company or organization – take particular care with the tone and style of your
writing.

Goodwill and the “You” Viewpoint

When you write a business letter, you are addressing the reader directly.
Therefore, you are in a very good position to take that person’s needs into account
and build goodwill for yourself and for your company. If you ask yourself, “How
might I feel if I were the recipient of such a letter?” you can gain insight into the
needs and feelings of your reader – and then tailor your message to fit those needs
and feelings. Many companies spend millions of dollars to create a favorable
public image. A letter to a client that sounds impersonal and unfriendly can

23
quickly tarnish that image; a thoughtful letter that communicates sincerity can
greatly enhance it.
Suppose, for example, you are a store manager who receives a request for
a refund from a customer who forgot to enclose the receipt with the request. In a
letter to the customer, you might write:
 The sales receipt must be enclosed with the merchandise before we can
process the refund.
However, if you consider how you might keep the goodwill of the
customer, you might word that request this way:
 Please enclose the sales receipt with the merchandise so that we can send
your refund promptly.
Notice that this version uses the word please and the active voice while the
first version uses only the passive voice. In general, the active voice creates a
friendlier, more courteous tone than the passive, which can sound impersonal and
unfriendly. Polite wording, such as the use of please, also helps to create
goodwill. However, you can go one step further. You can put the reader’s needs
and interests first by writing for the reader’s point of view. Often, but not always,
doing so means using the words you and your rather than the word we, our, I, and
mine. That is why the technique has been referred to as using the “you” viewpoint
or “you” attitude. For example, consider the point of view of the original sentence
in the example just given:
 The sales receipt must be enclosed with the merchandise before we can
process the refund.
The italicized words focus on the writer’s need to process the refund. Even
the second version, although its tone is more polite and friendly, emphasizes the
writer’s need to get the receipt “so that we can send your refund promptly.” (The
writer, of course, may want to get rid of the problem quickly.)
What is the reader’s interest? The reader is interested in helping the
business process its accounts. He or she simply wants the refund – and by
emphasizing that need, the writer encourages the reader to act quickly. Consider
the following revision written from the “you” viewpoint:

24
  So you can review your refund promptly, please enclose the sales receipt
with the merchandise.

This sentence stresses that it is to the reader’s benefit to act on this matter.
Be aware, however, that both goodwill and the “you” viewpoint can be
overdone. Used thoughtlessly, both techniques can produce a fawning, insincere
tone – what might be called plastic goodwill. Avoid language full of false praise
and sickeningly sweet phrase. Any attempt at goodwill that is insincere will be
recognized by your reader and thus will be counterproductive. Consider the
opening of the letter that follows from a writer who has corresponded only once
with the recipient:

PLASTIC
You are just the kind of customer that deserves the finest service that anyone can
offer – and you deserve our best deal. Knowing how careful you are at making
decisions. I know you’ll think about the advantages of using our consulting
service.
In this example, the writer barely knows the customer yet makes an
assumption about what “kind of customer” the recipient may be. Further, the
writer characterizes the customer as careful “at making decisions.” The sentence
sounds phony. A far better approach is to make goodwill reasonable for the
circumstances and provide specifics that are appropriate to your knowledge of the
reader.

APPROPRIATE
From our earlier correspondence, I can understand your need for reliable service
– we strive to give all our priority clients our full attention. After you have
reviewed our proposal, I am confident you will appreciate our “Five-Star”
consulting option.

Organize reader-focused correspondence to achieve goodwill by

presenting the main point or good news early – at the outset, if at all possible. The
pattern for neutral or good news should be as follows:

25
 1. Main point or good news
2. Explanation of details or facts
3. Goodwill closing

By presenting the main point or good news first, you increase the
likelihood that the reader will pay careful attention to details, and you achieve
goodwill from the start. Figure 4-2 shows an example of a reader-focused letter.

Figure 4-2: Sample Reader-Focused Request Letter

July 28, 2012

Mr. James Longo
Longo’s Café and Deli
157 Adams Drive
Trumbull, TN 37802

Dear Mr. Longo:

Would you be willing to share your personal history with the Trumbull Historical Society? Mary Main Point
Tran recommended you as somebody we should talk to because of your long commitment to
neighborhood improvement.

As you may have heard, Historical Society volunteers are interviewing people whose experiences Explanation
illustrate Trumbul’s rich and varied cultural fabric. The oral history project aims both to document
local traditions and to demonstrate that Trumbul is a vibrant neighborhood with strong community
ties. At the same time, by sharing oral histories at public forums, the Historical Society hopes to
replace negative stereotypes with a truer picture of what the community means to its residents.

We would like to add your voice to the official history of Trumbul. If you choose to participate,
you will be asked to recall events, experiences, personal or family memories, and cultural
traditions that are important to you. You won’t be pressed to discuss anything you’re not
comfortable with, and you will determine the focus of the conversation. Interviews take about an
hour and are scheduled at your convenience.

I hope I’ve piqued your interest. I’ll call you in the next couple of weeks to discuss the project, but Closing
do feel free to contract me before then if I can answer any questions.

Thank you,

Margaret Schweinhurt

Margaret Schweinhurt
Project Coordinator
Trumbull Oral History Project
611.999.9999
Oralhistory@mas.com

26
Guidelines for Using Tone to Build Goodwill

 Be respectful, not demanding.

DEMANDING Submit your answer in one week.
RESPECTFUL I would appreciate your answer within one week.
 Be modest, not arrogant.
ARROGANT My report is thorough, and I’m sure that you won’t be able
to continue without it.

MODEST This report contains a detailed description of the

refinancing options, and I hope you find it useful.
 Be polite, not sarcastic.
SARCASTIC I just received the shipment we ordered six months ago.
I’m sending it back – we can’t use it now. Thanks!

POLITE I am returning the shipment we ordered on January 13,

2014. Unfortunately, it arrived too late for us to be able to
use it.
 Be positive and tactful, not negative and condescending.
NEGATIVE Your complaint about our prices is way off target. Our
prices are definitely not any higher than those of our
competitors.
TACTFUL Thank you for your suggestion concerning our prices. We
have found, however, that our prices are competitive with
those of our competitors.

Negative Messages and the Indirect Pattern

Communicating bad news is sometimes necessary in the workplace. Doing
so effectively can benefit the writer and the professional image of any
organization. As with any type of writing, consider how your audience will react
to your message. Research has shown that people form their impressions and
attitudes very early when reading letters. At the same time, bad news is easier to
accept when the reasons behind it are explained first. For this reason, presenting
bad news or refusals indirectly is often more effective than presenting them
directly, especially if the stakes are high. Further, in international correspondence,

27
far more cultures are generally indirect in their business communication that they
are direct. Consider the thoughtlessness in the job rejection that follows.
 Dear Ms. Mauer:

Your application for the position of dental hygienist at Southtown Dental Center
has been rejected. We have found someone more qualified than you.

Although the letter is concise and uses the pronouns you and your, the
writer has not considered how the recipient will feel as she reads the letter. The
letter is, in short, rude. The pattern of this letter is (1) bad news, (2) curt
explanation, (3) close.
A better general pattern for bad news correspondence is the following:
1. Context (or “buffer”)
2. Explanation
3. Bad news
4. Goodwill

The opening (often called a “buffer”) should provide a context for the
subject and establish a professional tone. Then the body should provide an
explanation by reviewing the details of facts that lead, for example, to a negative
decision or refusal. Give the negative message simply, based on the facts, but do
not belabor the bad news or provide an inappropriate apology. Neither the details
nor an overdone apology can turn bad news into something positive. Your goal
should be to establish for the reader that the writer or organization has been
reasonable given the circumstances. To accomplish this goal, you need to
organize the explanation carefully and logically.
The closing should establish or reestablish a positive relationship through
goodwill or helpful information. Consider, for example, the revised rejection
letter shown in Figure 4-3. This letter carries the same disappointing news as the
first one, but the writer begins by not only introducing the subject but also
thanking the reader for her time and effort. Then the writer explains why Ms.
Mauer was not accepted for the job and offers her encouragement in finding a
position in another office. Bad news is never pleasant; however, information that
either puts the bad news in perspective or makes the bad news seem reasonable
28
maintains respect between the writer and the reader. The goodwill closing is
intended to reestablish and amicable business relationship.

Openings and Closings

Most business messages should follow predictable patterns for openings
and closings. Openings, for example, must identify the subject and its interest or
relevance to your readers.
 Yesterday I received your letter and the pager, number AJ 50172. I sent the
pager to our quality-control department for tests.

Carol Moore, our lead technician, reports that preliminary tests indicate…

Figure 4-3: Courteous Bad-News Letter

November 9, 2013

Ms. Barbara L. Mauer

157 Beach Drive
San Diego, CA 92113

Dear Ms. Mauer:

Thank you for your time and effort in applying for the position of records administrator at Context (or
Southtown Dental Center. “buffer”)
opening
Because we need someone who can assume the duties here with a minimum of training, Explanation leading
we have selected an applicant with over ten years of experience. to bad news

I am sure that with your excellent college record you will find a position in another Goodwill closing
office.

Sincerely,

Mary Hernandez

Mary Hernandez
Office Manager

29
 Because business letter are often more personal than reports and other
forms, an opening must also establish a tone that is appropriate and achieves your
purpose.
 I’m seeking advice about organizational communication, and several people
have suggested that you are an authority on the subject.

The tone of respect in this opening is not only appropriate but also
persuasive, because it appeals to the reader’s pride. Other openings might appeal
to the reader’s curiosity or personal interests, as in the following:
 I have a problem you may be willing to help solve.

 Mr. Walter Jenkens has given us your name as a reference for his company’s
services. I hope you’ll be willing to help us by answering some specific
questions about his company.

Closings for correspondence can also provide an incentive for the reader to
act, as in the following:

 Please sign the forms today, mark the changes you want made, and return the
material to me in the preaddressed envelope. If you can approve everything for
me within two days, I should have the amended contract in your hands by the
end of the week.

Writing Style and Accuracy

Business messages may legitimately vary from informal, in an e-mail to a

close business associate, to formal (or restrained), in a letter to someone you do
not know. (Even if you are writing to a close associate, you should always follow
the rules of standard grammar, spelling, and punctuation.)
INFORMAL
It worked! The new process is better than we had dreamed.

RESTRAINED

You will be pleased to know that the new process is more effective than we had
expected.

You will normally use the restrained style more frequently than the
informal one. An overdone attempt to sound casual or friendly, like overdone
30
goodwill, can sound insincere. However, do not adopt a style so formal that your
letters or memos read like legal contracts; that type of writing appears wordy,
pompous, and affected – and may well irritate your reader.

AFFECTED

Please be advised that we no longer possess an original copy of the brochure

requested. Herewith enclosed is a photographic copy for your use. Address any
further query to this office for assistance as required.

APPROVED

We are currently out of original copies of our brochure, so I am sending you a

photocopy. If I can help further, please let me know.

The excessively formal writing style of the affected version is full of out-of-date
business jargon; expressions such as query (for request or question), be advised
that, and herewith are old-fashioned and pretentious. Good business letters have a
more conversational style, as the improved version illustrates. The improved
version is not only less stuffy but also more concise.

Being concise in writing is important, but don’t be so concise that you

become blunt. Responding to a written request that is vague with “Your request
was unclear” or “I don’t understand” could easily offend your reader. Instead, ask
for more information and establish goodwill to encourage your reader to provide
the information.

 I will need more information before I can answer you request. Specifically, can
you give me the title and the date of the report you are looking for?

Although this version is longer, it promotes goodwill and will elicit a faster, more
helpful response.

A letter, a memo, or an e-mail is a written record, so it must be accurate.

Facts, figures, and dates that are incorrect or misleading can cost time, money and
goodwill. Remember that when you write a letter, e-mail, or memo, you are
responsible for it. Therefore, allow yourself time to review any correspondence
carefully before sending it. Whenever possible, ask someone who is familiar with
the situation to review an important letter or other message. Listen with an open
mind to any criticisms of what you have written. Make whatever changes you
believe are necessary.

31
 Also review your message for punctuation, grammar, and spelling. In
business as elsewhere, accuracy and attention to detail are equated with
carefulness and reliability. The kindest conclusion a reader can come to about a
letter containing mechanical errors is that the writer was careless. Do not give
your reader cause to form such a conclusion.

Formatting Business Letters

Letters communicate formality, respect, and authority. Just as the clothes
you wear to job interviews play a part in the first impression you make on
potential employers, the appearance of a business letter may be crucial in
influencing a recipient who has never seen you. A neat appearance alone will not
improve a poorly written, but a sloppy appearance will detract from a well-written
one.
Although word-processing software provides templates for
correspondence, it may not always provide appropriate dimensions and spacing.
To achieve a professional appearance, use the following guidelines:
o Center the letter on the page vertically and horizontally.
o Use 1 - or 1 ¼-inch margins, the default standard in many word-
processing programs.
o When you use organizational stationery, treat the bottom of the letterhead
as the top edge of the paper and make the right margin approximately as
wide as the left margin.
o For very short letters, increase both side margins to about an inch and a
half.
o Use your computer’s full-page or print-preview feature to check for
proportion.
If your employer requires a particular format, use it. Otherwise follow the
guidelines provided here, and review the formatting shown in Figures 4-4 and 4-
5.
The two most-common styles for business letters are the full-block style
shown in Figures 4-4 and the modified-block style shown in Figures and 4-5. In

32
the full-block style, which should be used with letterhead, the entire letter is
aligned at the left margin. In the modified-block style, the return address, date,
and complimentary close begin at the center of the page and the other elements
are aligned at the left margin. All other letter styles are variations of the full-block
and modified block styles.

Heading
The heading is the writer’s full return address–street or post-office box,
city and state, postal code – or printed letterhead and the date. Do not include the
writer’s name in the heading (unless it is part of a printed letterhead) because it
appears at the end of the letter. In giving your address, do not use abbreviations
for words such as Street, Avenue, First, or West (as part of a street or city name).
You may either spell out the name of the state in full or use the standard Postal
Service abbreviations. The date usually goes three lines below the letterhead or
directly beneath the last line of the address when there is no letterhead. Do not
abbreviate the name of the month.

 1638 Parkhill drive East4

Great Falls, MT 59407
April 9, 2012

Begin the heading about two inches from the top of the page. If you are
using company letterhead that gives the address, enter only the date three lines
below the last line of printed copy.

Inside Address
The inside address is the recipient’s full name, title, and address.

 Ms. Gail Smith

Production Manager
Docuform Printing Company
14 President Street
Sarasota, FL 33546

33
Place the inside address two to six lines below the date, depending on the length
of the letter. The inside address should flush with (aligned with) the left margin,
which should be at least one inch wide.

Salutation
Place the salutation (greeting) two lines below the inside address, also
flush with the left margin. In most business letters, the salutation contains the
recipient’s title (Mr., Ms., Dr., and so on) and last name, followed by a colon. If
you are on a first-name basis with the recipient, you would include his or her title
and full name in the inside address but use only the first name in the salutation.
 Dear Dr. Smith:
 Dear Captain Smith:
 Dear Professor Smith: [Note that titles such as Captain and Professor are
not abbreviated.]
 Dear Gail: [If you are on a first-name basis]

For a recipient who does not have a professional title, use Mr. or Ms. (if a woman
has expressed a preference for Miss or Mrs. instead, honor her preference). When
you do not know whether the recipient is a man or a woman, you may use a title
appropriate to the context of the letter. The following are examples of titles you
may find suitable:
 Dear Customer:
 Dear Homeowner
 Dear Service Manager:

When a person’s name could be either feminine or masculine, one solution is to

use both first and last names in the salutation.
 Dear Pat Smith:
In the past, writers to large companies or organizations customarily addressed
their letters to “Gentlemen”. Today, however, this form of address is
inappropriate. Writers who do not know the name or the title of the recipient often
address the letter to an appropriate addressee or department in the salutation, in
the attention line, or in a subject line in place of a salutation.
 Dear homeowner:
34
 Take this one-time opportunity to…
 National Business Systems
501 West National Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55107-5011

Attention: Customer Relations Department

I am returning three pages that failed to operate….

 National Business Systems

501 West National Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55107-5011

Subject: Defective Parts for SL-100 Pagers

I am returning three pages that failed to operate

Body
The body of the letter should begin two lines below the salutation (or
below the inside address if no salutation appears). Single-space within paragraphs
and double-space between paragraphs with the first line of each new paragraph at
the left margin or indented five spaces from the left margin. The right margin
should be approximately as wide as the left margin. (In very short letters, you may
increase both margins to about an inch and half.)

Complimentary Close
Start the complimentary close or conventional “good-bye” two lines below
the body. Use a standard expression such as Sincerely yours, Yours Truly, or
Respectfully yours. (If the recipient is a friend as well as a business associate, you
can use a friendly, less formal close: Best wishes, Cordially, Sincerely, Best
regards.) Only the first word of the complimentary close is capitalized, and the
expression is followed by a comma. Four lines below the complimentary close,
and aligned at the left with the close, type your full name. On the next line, place
your business title if it is appropriate to do so. Then sign your name in the space
between the complimentary close and your typed name. If you are writing to
someone with whom you are on a first-name basis, it is acceptable to sign only
your given name; otherwise, sign your full name, as shown in Figure 4-4 & 4-5.
35
 Figure 4-4: Format for a Letter with Letterhead (Full-Block Style)

2"

EVANS 520 Niagara Street, Braintree, MA 02184

Phone: (781) 787-1175
Fax: (781) 787- 1213
E-mail: cbrown@evans.com

_____________________________ 3 line spaces

May 15, 2011
_____________________________ 2-6 line spaces

Mr. George W. Nagel Inside

Director of Operations address
Boston Transit Authority aligned with
57 West City Avenue letterhead
Boston, MA 02210
_____________________________ 2 line spaces
1" or 1 ¼"
Dear Mr. Nagel: Single-space
_____________________________ 2 line space within paragraphs

Begin at left Enclosed is our final report evaluating the safety measures for the Boston
margin
Intercity Transit System.

1" or 1¼"
We believe that the report covers the issues you raised and that it is self-
Body text is
flush left explanatory. However, if you have any further questions, we would be happy to
meet with you at your convenience.
Double-space
We would also like to express our appreciation to Mr. L.K. Sullivan of your between
committee for his generous help during our trips to Boston. paragraphs

_____________________________ 2 line spaces

Complimentary
Sincerely,
close is flush left
Carolyn Brown
4 line spaces
Carolyn Brown, Ph.D.
Director of Research
_____________________________ 2 line spaces
CB/ls
Enclosure: Final Safety Report
cc: ITS Safety Committee Members

36
Figure 4-5: Format for a Letter without Letterhead (Modified-Block Style)
Center

2"

Heading starts in
3814 Oak Lane center of page
Dedham, MA 02180
December 8, 2013
No extra line
between address
2-6 line spaces & date

1" or 1¼"
Inside address,
Dr. Carolyn Brown
salutation, & body
Director of Research align with left
Evans and Associates margin
Transportation Engineers
520 Niagara Street
Braintree, MA 02184

2 line spaces

Dear Dr. Brown:

2 line space 1" or 1¼"
Thank you very much for allowing me to tour your testing facilities.
The information I gained from the tour will be of great help to me in preparing
the report for my class at Marshall Institute. The tour has also given me some Single-space
insight into the work I may eventually do as a laboratory technician. within paragraph

I especially appreciated the time and effort Vikram Signh spent in showing me Double-space
between
your facilities. His comments and advice were most helpful.
paragraphs
Again, thank you.
2 line spaces Complimentary
Sincerely, close starts in
center of page
Leslie Warden
4 line spaces
Leslie Warden

Center

Second Page
If a letter requires a second page, always carry at least two lines of the
body over to page two. The second page also should have a heading containing

37
the recipient’s name, the page number, and the date. (Never use letterhead for a
second page.) The heading starts one inch from the top edge of the page and may
go in the upper-left-hand corner or across the page, as shown in Figure 4-6.

Figure 4-6: Headers for the Second Page of a Letter

Ms. M. C. Marks
Page 2
March 13, 2013

Ms. M. C. Marks 2 March 13, 2013

End Notation

Closing with Initials:

Business letters sometimes require additional information – the initials of
the typist (if other than the writer), an enclosure notation, or a notation that a copy
of the letter is being sent to the named recipients. Place any such information
flush left with the margin, two lines below the last line of the complimentary
close in a long letter, four lines below in a short letter.
Initials are not used when the writer is also the person typing the letter, as
is common. If an assistant has typed the letter, however, that person’s initials
should appear (all lowercase) two lines below the last line of the complimentary-
close block either by themselves or following the author’s initials (all uppercase
and followed by a slash), as shown in Figure 4-7.

Enclosure Notations:
Enclosure notations, which indicate that the letter writer is sending
material along with the letter (an invoice, an article, and so on), may take several
forms.
 Enclosure (for a single item)
 Enclosures (2)

38
 Even though you use an enclosure notation, make a reference in the body
of the letter to the enclosed material. Enclosures are described briefly if the letter
is long and formal, as shown in Figure 4-4, or if the nature of the enclosed items
is not obvious. Enclosures are not described if the letter is short and the
enclosures are obvious to the reader.

Figure 4-7: Closing with Initials, Enclosure Notation, and Copy Notations

Sincerely yours, Typist initials

Jane T. Rogers
Jane T. Rogers Enclosure notation
Manager

cc: appears on
JTR/pst all copies
Enclosure: Preliminary proposal
cc: Ms. Marlene Brier bcc: appears
bcc: Dr. Brenda Shelton only on the letter
to the blind copy
recipient
Copy Notations:

Copy notations or (cc:) tell the reader that a copy of the letter is being sent
to one or more named individuals.
cc: Ms. Marlene Brier
Mr. David Williams
(Brier and Williams receive only the letter.)
cc/enc: Mr. Tom Lee
(Lee receives both the letter and the enclosure.)

A Blind-Copy Notation:

A blind copy notation or (bcc:) is used when the sender does not want the
addressee to know that a copy is being sent to one or more other recipients. That
means the blind-copy notation must not appear on the original letter, only on the
letter to the blind-copy recipient, as shown in Figure 4-7.

39
 P.S.
P.S. stand for Postscript and is a note for additional attention is usually put on the
left, two or three lines below the last line.
Example: P.S. Bring a big appetite

R. S. V. P. - Respondes S’il Vouss Plait [French]

R.S.V.P. means respond as soon as possible
Example: R. S. V. P. 0093-700504838

Per Pro
Per Pro is a Latin phrase, short for per procurationem, meaning through the
agency of; the full form of the abbreviation p.p. is used by someone signing a
letter on behalf of someone else. The term per pro is sometimes used in signatures
and means: for and on behalf of.

Designing Your Document

Guidelines for Formatting Letters

o Use good-quality white paper and envelopes of standard size.
o Center the letter on the page, framing it with white space.
o Place the date three lines below the letterhead or directly below the
address line when there is no letterhead.
o Place the inside address two to six lines below the date, aligned with the
left margin, which should be at least one inch wide.
o Use full-block style with letterhead stationery; use modified –block style
on blank paper.
o Place the salutation two lines below inside address, also aligned with the
left margin.
o Begin the body of the letter two lines below the salutation.
o Single-space within paragraphs and double-space between paragraphs.
o Start the complimentary close two lines below the body of your letter.
o If a letter requires a second page, always carry at least two lines of the
body over to page two.
o After you have finished writing a letter, check the arrangement and
spacing of its parts.

40
 A business letter may of course, contain all the end notations described in
this section (see Figure 4-7).

Routine and Positive Messages

There are almost as many types of workplace correspondence as there are
reasons for writing. This section discusses some of the most frequently written
types, focusing in particular on the style and tone suitable to each type. For each
of these types, you must also determine what form – such as letter, memo, or
email – is best. Keep in mind any company or organizational protocol regarding
the form for specific types of messages. The types of correspondence discussed in
this section provide the opportunity to build goodwill with readers and create a
positive image of your organization.

Covers (or Transmittals)

When you send a formal report, proposal, brochure, or similar material,
you should include a short message, often called a cover (or transmittal) letter that
identifies what you are sending. An e-mail message used to send an electronic
attachment also serves this purpose, as does a memo sent within an organization.
The cover message also provides you with a record of when and to whom you
sent the material.
Keep your remarks brief. Your opening should explain what is being sent
and why. A cover letter that accompanies a report, for example, may identify its
title, briefly describe its contents, state its purpose, and note who requested the
report. In an optional second paragraph, you might summarize the information or
point out any sections of particular interest to the reader. This paragraph could
mention the conditions under which the material was prepared, such as limitations
of time or budget. Your closing paragraph should contain acknowledgments, offer
more assistance, or express the hope that the material will fulfill its purpose. If
your letter accompanies a proposal, you could mention a key point or two as to
why your firm is the best one to do the job.

41
 Figure 4-8 is an example of a cover letter that is brief and to the point.
Figure 4-9 shows a cover letter that is a bit more detailed, touching on the manner
in which the information was gathered.

Acknowledgements
One way to build goodwill with colleagues and clients is to let them know
that you have received something they sent and to express thanks. A letter, an e-
mail message, or a memo that serves these functions is usually a short, polite note.
The example shown in Figure 4-10 is typical and could be sent as a letter or an e-
mail message.
Figure 4-8: Brief Cover Letter (for a Report)

ECOLOGY SYSTEM AND SERVICES

39 Beacon Street, Boston, Massachusetts 02106
(617) 351-1223* Fax: (617) 351-2121
ecologysystems.com
May 24, 2006

Mario Espinoza, Chief Engineer

Louisiana Chemical Products
3452 River View Road
Baton Rouge, LA 70893
Identification
of enclosure
Dear Mr. Espinoza:

Enclosed is the final report on our installation of pollution-control equipment at

Eastern Chemical Company, which we send with Eastern’s permission. Please
call me (ext. 1206) or e-mail me at the address below if I can answer any questions.

Sincerely,
Offer of
Susan Wong assistance

Susan Wong, Ph.D.

Technical Service Manager
swong@ecologysystems.com

SW/ls
Enclosure: Report
42
Figure 4-9: Cover Letter (with Background Information)

WATERFORD PAPER PRODUCTS

P.O. Box 413
WATERFORD, WI 53474

Phone: (414) 738-2191* Fax: (414) 738-9122

waterfordpaper.com

January 16, 2010

Mr. Roger Hammersmith

Ecology System, Inc.
1015 Clarke Street
Chicago, IL 60615

Dear Mr. Hammersmith:

Enclosed is the report estimating our power consumption for the year, as requested by
John Brenan, Vice President, on September 5. Identification
of enclosure
The report is a result of several meetings with the manager of plant operations and her
staff and an extensive survey of all our employees, delayed by the transfer of key staff Background
in Building A. We believe, however, that the report will provide the information you & purpose
need to furnish us with a cost estimate for the installation of your Mark II Energy of report
Saving System.

We would like to thank Diana Biel of ESI for her assistance in preparing the survey. If
Acknowledgment
you need any information, please let me know.
of help

Sincerely,

James Evans

James Evans
New Projects Office
jge@waterfordpaper.com

Enclosure

43
Figure 4-10: Acknowledgement Letter (Sent as an E-mail Message)

From: Willbur Kohn <kohn@kohns.com>

To: Marsha Stein <stein38@macrofoods.com>
Sent: Saturday, February 23, 2012 5:52 PM
Subject: Checkout Lane Reporting System

Dear Ms. Stein:

Acknowledgment
I received your comprehensive report today. When I finish studying it in detail,
I’ll send you our cost estimate for the installation of the Checkout Lane Reporting
System.
Thanks to writer
Thank you for preparing such a thorough analysis.

Regards,

Willbur Kohn

Inquiries
An inquiry letter or e-mail message can be as simple as a request for a free
brochure or as complex as asking a consultant to define specific requirements for
a usability testing lab.
The two broad categories of inquires include those that benefit the
recipient and those that benefit the writer. Inquires of obvious benefit to the
recipient include requests for information about a recently advertised product.
Inquiries that primarily benefit the writer include, for example, a request to a
professional association to send demographic information about its members. If
your inquiry is of the second kind, be particularly considerate of your reader’s
needs. Your objective will probably be to obtain, within a reasonable time,
answers to specific questions. You will be more likely to receive a prompt,
helpful reply if you follow the guidelines listed below: Writing Inquires illustrated
in Figure 4-11.

44
Figure 4-11: Inquiry (Sent as an E-mail Message)

From: Kathryn J. Parsons < kparsons@udayton.edu>

To: Jane E. Metcalf < metcalf @mvpc.org>
Sent: 16 March 2010 09:23:45 – 0500 (EST)
Subject: Inquiry on Heating Systems

Dear Ms. Metcalf:

Could you please send me some information oh heating systems for a computerized, Reason for
energy-efficient house that a team of engineering students at the University of Dayton is request
designing?

The house, which contains 2,000 square feet of living space (17,600 cubic feet), meets all
the requirements in your brochure “Insulating for Efficiency.” We need the following
information, based on the southern Ohio climate:
List of
1. The proper-size heat pump for such a home. questions
2. The wattage of the supplemental electrical heating units required.
3. The estimated power consumption and rates for those units for one year

We will be happy to send you our preliminary design report. If you have questions or Offer to
suggestions, please contact me at kjparsons@udayton.edu or call 513-229-4598. share results
& contact
Thank you for your help. information

Kathryn Parsons

Guidelines for Writing Inquiries:

 Make your questions specific, clear, and concise
 Phrase your questions so that the reader will know immediately the type of
information you are seeking, why you need it, and how you will use it.
 If possible, present your questions in a numbered list to make it easy for your
reader to address them.
 Keep the number of questions to a minimum.
 Offer some inducement for the reader to respond, such as promising to share
the results of what you are doing.
 Promise to keep responses confidential, if appropriate.
 Close by thanking the reader for taking the time to respond. Provide contact
information, such as a phone number or an e-mail address, to simplify a reply.
45
 Responses to Inquiries
When you receive an inquiry; read it quickly to determine whether you
have both the information and the authority to respond. If you do, reply as
promptly as you can, answering every question asked. Adjust the length of your
response to the questions and the information provided by the writer. Even if the
writer has asked a question that seems silly or has what you feel is an obvious
answer, respond courteously and as completely as you can. You may tactfully
point out that the writer has omitted or misunderstood something.
If you feel you cannot answer an inquiry, find out who can and forward
the inquiry to that person. Notify the writer that you have forwarded the inquiry,
as shown in Figure 4-12. If you reply to a forwarded inquiry, state in the first
paragraph why someone else is answering, as shown in Figure 4-13.

Figure 4-12: Acknowledgements of an Inquiry (Indicating That the Request

Has Been Forwarded)

Subject: Report Received

Date: Monday, 21 April 2013 11:42:25 -0500 (EST)
To: Jane E. Metcalf < metcalf @mvpc.org>
From: Kathryn J. Parsons < kparsons@udayton.edu>
Sent: 16 March 2010

Dear Kathryn Parsons:

Thank you for inquiring about the heating system we recommend for homes designed Acknowledgment
according to the specifications in our brochure “Insulating for Efficiency.” of inquiry

Because I cannot answer your specific questions, I have forwarded your inquiry to
Notification
Michael Wang, Engineering Assistant in our Development Group. He should be able to
of forwarding
answer your questions, and you should hear from him shortly.

Best wishes,

Jane E. Metcalf
============================
Jane E. Metcalf , Director of Public Information
Miami Valley Power Company
P.O. Box 1444 ≈ Miamitown, OH 45733
Office 513-264-4800 ≈ Fax 513-264-4889
Web ≈ mvpc.org
============================

46
Figure 4-13: Response to an Inquiry (Sent as an E-mail Message)

From: Michael Wang < mwang@mvpc.org>

To: Kathryn J. Parsons < kparsons@udayton.edu>
Sent: 28 April 2013 16:09:22 - 0500 (EST)
Subject: RE: Inquiry on Heating Systems

Dear Ms. Parsons:

Jane Metcalf forwarded to me your inquiry of April 16 about the house that your Acknowledgment
engineering team is designing. I can estimate the heating requirements of a typical home of inquiry
of 17,600 cubic feet as follows:

1. For such a home, we would generally recommend a heat pump capable of delivering Responses
40,000 BTUs, such as our model AL-42 (17 kilowatts). to list of
2. With the AL-42’s efficiency, you don’t need supplemental heating units. questions
3. Depending on usage, the AL-42 unit averages between 1,000 and 1,500 kilowatt hours
from December through March. To determine the current rate for such usage, check with
Dayton Power and Light Company.

I can give you an answer that would apply specifically to your house based on its
particular design (such as number of stories, windows, and entrances). If you send me Offer of
more details, I will be happy to provide more precise figures for your interesting project. further help

Sincerely,

Michael Wang

Engineering Assistant
mwang@mvpc.org

Sales and Promotions

A sales letter or promotional message requires a thorough understanding
of the product, service or business and the potential customer’s needs. For this
reason, many businesses (such as major retailers) employ specialists to compose
their sales letters and other promotional material. However, if you work in a small
business or are self-employed, you may need to write sales letters yourself. An
effective sales message accomplishes the goals described below in the Writing
Effective Sales Messages Guidelines section.
Your first task is to identify your audience: those who should receive your
letter or other material. If you do not select your recipients carefully, your

47
message will likely be dismissed as junk mail or spam (if sent by e-mail).
Appropriate recipients may include existing customers, people who have
purchased a product or service from you and may do so again. You also might
want to seek new customers who may be interested in certain products or services.
Companies that specialize in marketing techniques compile and sell such lists of
members of professional, fraternal, and religious organizations, trade-show
attendees, and the like. Because these lists tend to be expensive, select them with
care.
Figure 4-14: Sales Letter

Janice’s Cycle Shop

775 First Avenue, Ottumwa, IA 52501
(515) 273-5111 * Fax (515) 273-5511

April 5, 2010
Janicecycle.com

Mr. Raymond Sommers

350 College Place
Sharpsville, IA 52156

Dear Mr. Sommers:

Needs of reader
Are you ready to go bike riding this spring – but your bike isn’t?

Janice’s Cycle Shop will get your bike in shape for the beautiful days ahead. We will
Benefits of
lubricate all moving parts; check the tires, brakes, chain, lights, horn, and other accessories; service
and make any minor repairs – all for only $29.95 with the coupon enclosed with this letter.

Just stop in any day, Monday through Saturday, between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. We are
Convenience
conveniently located at the corner of First and Walker. If you bring your bike in before of service
10:00 a.m., you can enjoy a spring bike ride that evening.

Happy riding!

Janice’s Cycle Shop

48
 Once you decide who should receive your sales letter, learn as much as
you can about their age, sex, vocation, geographical location, educational level,
financial status, and interests. You must be aware of your readers’ needs so that
you can effectively tell them how your product or service will satisfy those needs.
Analyze your product or service carefully to determine your strongest
psychological sales points – the product’s intangible benefits rather than its
physical features – and built your sales letter around those points. Begin by
identifying how your product or service will make your reader’s job easier, status
higher, personal life more pleasant, and so on. Then in the body of the letter, show
your product or service can satisfy the need or desire identified in your opening.
Describe the physical features of your product in terms of their benefit to your
reader. Help your reader imagine using your product or service – and enjoying its
benefits.
If the price of your product or service is especially competitive, you may
decide to emphasize the cost. However, if your product or service is relatively
costly (even if priced competitively); you may be able to emphasize its high
quality, reliability, or special benefits. If you feel a need to minimize the negative
effect of price, you might state the cost in terms of a unit rather than a set ($20 per
item instead of $600 per set); identify the daily, the monthly, or even the yearly
cost based on the estimated life of the product; suggest a series of payments rather
than the total; or compare the cost with that of something the reader accepts
readily (“costs the same as a movie and a dinner out”).

Figure 4-14 shows a typical sales letter. Notice its light, friendly tone – an
approach frequently used by small, local businesses to make the reader feel
comfortable about coming to them. The signature line of sales letters often shows
the name of the company rather than the name of an individual, as is the case in
this example. The e-mailed sales message in Figure 4-15 also uses an informal
but professional tone, appealing to the readers’ interests while instilling
confidents in the company’s ability to provide timely information.

49
Figure 4-15: Sales E-mail

From: contact_us@cartoonbank.com
Sent: Wednesday, April 02, 2003 3:27 PM
To: Mary Hughes
Subject: A Gift for Registering

Welcome Mary Hughes!

Acknowledgment
of customer
Thanks for registering at Cartoonbank.com, your premier source for New Yorker
relationship
cartoons and cover prints.

As a special gift for becoming a member we want to give you an exclusive coupon. Use Incentive for
the coupon code “WELCOME1” on your next purchase of $100 or more and receive 10% customer to return
off.

Almost every cartoon that has ever appeared in The New Yorker is available from The
Cartoon Bank as a framed or matted print or a T-shirt or sweatshirt. Link for easy
response
http://www.cartoonbank.com

New Yorker cartoons are also a great way to get your message across in a Power Point Benefits of
presentation or lighten up your company newsletter or corporate annual report. Learn products described
more about our licensing benefits by going here: with a business
audience in mind
http://www.cartoonbank.com/licensing.asp

The Cartoon Bank is also home to The New Yorker’s Vintage Cover Collection (1925-
1992). Over 60 years of illustrated cover art available as large museum-quality prints. Description of
other products
http://www.cartoonbank.com/covers.asp written to a
general audience
Find all this and more at Cartoonbank.com, including Limited-Edition Signed Cover
Lithographs, New Yorker Desk Diaries, cartoon books, and more.

And remember use “WELCOME1” and save 10% on your next purchase!
Customer service
If you need any help at all, please do not hesitate to contact us by e-mail contact
(mailto:toon@cartoonbank.com) or phone (1-800-897-TOON). You can also chat online information &
with a live customer service representative by clicking on the green button located on the friendly close
upper left of every page in Cartoonbank.com.

Yours in good humor,

Bob Mankoff
President

Guidelines for Writing Effective Sales Messages

 Develop your letter to accomplish three basic goals:

50
 o Open by attracting your reader’s attention and arousing his or her interest.
o Describe features of the product or service that would appeal strongly to
your reader’s wants or needs.
o Suggest ways that the reader can immediately use the product or service.
 If sending an e-mail message, create a subject line that encourages recipients
to read the message (“Special Offer When You Respond to This Message”).
 Be certain that any claim you make in a sales letter is truthful, not an
overstatement.
 Present evidence to convince your reader that your product or service is
everything you claim it to be. Don’t exaggerate, make unreasonable claims,
speak negatively of a competitor, or use other unfair tactics. You can build
confidence with a money-back guarantee, a free trail offer, testimonials, or
case histories.
 Make the customer’s responses easy and worthwhile. You might include a
map to your store, a discount coupon, instructions for phone-in orders and free
delivery, or a Web address for more information, special discounts, and online
orders.

Sensitive and Negative Messages

Writing sensitive or negative messages requires careful thought. You must

decide, for example, how direct or indirect your message should be and then
choose words that maintain a professional relationship with a correspondent
despite any difficult circumstances.

Refusals

When you receive a request to which you must give a negative reply, you
may need to write a refusal message containing bad news-something that a reader
does not want to receive. Unless the stakes are very low, opening with the bad
news can affect your reader negatively. The ideal refusal says no in such a way
that you avoid antagonizing your reader while managing to maintain goodwill. To

51
do so, you must convince your reader that the reasons for refusing are logical or
understandable before you present the bad news. The following pattern effectively
deals with this problem:

1. Context. In the opening (often called a “buffer”), introduce the subject and
establish a professional tone.
2. Explanation. Review the facts that lead logically to the bad news, but try
to see things from your reader’s point of view.
3. Bad news. State your refusal, based on the facts, concisely and without
apology.
4. Goodwill. In the closing, establish or reestablish a positive relationship by
providing an option, assure the reader of your high opinion of his or her
product or service, offer a friendly remark, or merely wish the reader
success.

In the case of a rejected proposal, such as that in Figure 4-16, express

appropriate and genuine appreciation for the reader’s time, effort, and interest.
Thoroughly detail the reason for the refusal with the goal of convincing the reader
that the conclusion is reasonable. State the negative message concisely, clearly,
and as positively as possible. Close by working to reestablish goodwill and avoid
rehashing the bad news (not writing “Again, we’re sorry we can’t use your idea”).

Refusals often vary with what is at stake for the writer or the reader. The
refusals in Figure 4-17 declines an invitation to speak and the stakes for the
writer are relatively low; however, the writer wishes to acknowledge the honor of
being asked. Figure 4-18 shows a letter rejecting a job applicant in which the
skates are higher. Finally, Figure 4-19 shows a refusal sent to a supplier whose
product was not selected, yet the writer wishes to maintain a harmonious
relationship.

52
 Complaints
By the time you need to write a complaint letter (sometimes called a
“claim letter”), you may be irritated and angry. If you write a letter that reflects
only your annoyance and anger, you may simply seem petty and irrational. As a
result, the best complaint letters – the ones taken seriously – do not sound
complaining. Remember, too, that the person who receives your complaint may
not be the one who was directly responsible for the situation.
An effective letter should assume that the recipient will conscientiously
correct the problem. Although the circumstances and severity of the problem may
vary, effective complaint letters (or e-mails) should generally follow this pattern:

1. Identify the problem or faulty item(s) and include relevant information

such as invoice numbers, part names, and dates, as well as a copy of the
receipt, bill, or contract.
2. Explain logically, clearly, and specifically what went wrong – especially
for a problem with a service. (Avoid speculating about why you think a
problem occurred.)
3. State what you expect the reader to do to solve the problem to your
satisfaction.

53
Figure 4-16: Memo Rejecting an Internal Proposal

________________________Memo______________________

To: Darrell Munro

From: Amelia Jackson, Screening Procedures Committee
Date: May 17, 2006
Subject: Responses to Proposed Security-Clearance Procedures
Context &
The Screening Procedures Committee appreciates effects of implementing your thanks
proposal for a new security-clearance procedure.

Explanation
We reviewed the potential effects of implementing your proposed security- with logical
clearance procedure on a company-wide basis. We asked the Systems and reasons
Procedures Department to review the data, survey industry practices, seek the
views of senior management and department heads, and submit the idea to our
legal staff. As a result of this process, we have reached the following conclusions:

* The cost savings you project are correct only if the procedure could be
universally required.
* The components of your procedure are legal, but most are not widely accepted
by our industry.
* Based on our survey, some components could alienate employees who would
perceive them as violating an individual’s rights.
* Enforcing company-wide use would prove costly and impractical.
Refusal
For these reasons, the committee recommends that divisions continue their current
security procedures.
Goodwill
closing with
However, some components of your procedure may apply in certain option
circumstances. As a result, the editor of The Guardian would like to feature your
ideas in the next issue. She will contact you to discuss your ideas next week. On
behalf of the committee, thank you for the thoughtful proposal.

54
Figure 4-17: E-mail Refusing a Speaking Invitation

From: Ralph Morgan rpmorgan@wec.com

To: Javier Lopez jlopez@tnco.com
Date: Wednesday, March 29, 2007
Subject: Speaking Invitation

Dear Mr. Lopez:

I am honored to have been invited to address your regional meeting in St. Louise Positive context
on May 17. That you would consider me as a potential contributor to such a
gathering of experts is indeed flattering.

On checking my schedule, I find that I will be attending the annual meeting of Review of facts
& refusal
our parent corporation’s Board of Directors on that date. Therefore, as much as I
would enjoy addressing your members, I must decline. Goodwill
closing with
I have been very favorably impressed over the years with your organization’s option
contributions to the engineering profession, and I would welcome the opportunity
to participate in a future meeting.
Sincerely,

Ralph P. Morgan
============================
Ralph P. Morgan, Research Director
Watashaw Engineering Company
301 Industrial Lane
Decatur, IL 45733
Phone: (708) 264-4800
Fax (708)-264-4889
wec.com
============================

To reach someone who can help you in a large organization, first check its
Web site or call its main office so that you can address your letter to the
appropriate department (often Customer Service, Consumer Affairs, or
Adjustments). In smaller organizations, you might write to a vice-president in
charge of sales or service. For very small businesses, write directly to the owner.
As a last resort, you may find that sending copies of a complaint letter to more
than one person in the company will get fast results. Each employee who receives
the letter will know (because of the notation at the bottom of the page) that others,

55
possibly higher in the organization, have received the letter and will take note of
whether the problem is solved. Figure 4-20 shows a typical complaint letter.

Figure 4-18: Letter Rejecting a Job Applicant

Liberty Associates
3553 West Marshall Road
San Diego, California 92101

Phone (619) 273-5111

Fax (619) 273-5511
libertyassociates.com

January 19, 2010

Ms. Sonja Yadgar

2289 South 63rd Street
Hartford, CT 52156

Dear Ms. Yadgar:

Positive context
Thank you for your interest in financial counseling at Liberty Associates. I
respect your investment experience and professionalism, and I enjoy our
conversation. Review of facts
& refusal

Shortly after our meeting, an especially appropriate, well-qualified internal

candidate applied for the position, and we have decided to offer the job to that
individual. I say in all honesty that the decision was very difficult. Both Nancy
Linh and I were impressed with your qualifications and believe that you have a Goodwill
great deal to offer our profession. closing

Please do stay in touch. Best wishes for the future.

Sincerely,

Meike Kunkel
Meike Kunkel
Vice President
Director of Development

56
Figure 4-19: Letter Rejecting a Sales Proposal

MARTINI BANKING AND DATA SYSTEMS

251 West 57th Street

New York, New York 10019
Phone (619) 273-5111 Fax (619) 273-5511
martinisystems.com

February 11, 2010

Mr. Henry Coleman

Abbott Office Products, Inc.
P.O. Box 544
Detroit, MI 52156

Dear Mr. Coleman:

Positive
Thank you for your cooperation and your patience with us as we struggled to reach a context
decision. We believe our long involvement with your company indicates our
confidence in your products.

Based on our research, we found that the Winton Check Sorter has all the features that Review of
your sorter offers and, in fact, has two additional features that your sorter does not. facts &
The more important one is a backup feature that retains totals in its memory, even if refusals
the power fails. The second additional feature is stacked pockets, which are less space-
consuming than the linear pockets on your sorter. After much deliberation, therefore,
we have decided to purchase the Winton Check Sorter.

Although we did not select your sorter, we were very favorably impressed with your Goodwill
system and your people. Perhaps we will be able to use other Abbott products in the closing
future.

Sincerely,

Muriel Johansen

Muriel Johansen
Business Manager

57
Figure 4-20: Complaint Letter

BAKER HEALTHCARE SYSTEMS

Purchasing Department
501 Main Street
Springfield, OH 45321
(513) 683-8100
Fax (513) 683-8000
September 22, 2009

Manager, Customer Relations

Medical Solutions, Inc.
521 West 23rd Street
New York, NY 10011

Subject: ST3 Diagnostic Scanners

On July 10, I ordered nine ST3 Diagnostic Scanners (order # ST3-1179R).

The scanners were ordered from your customer Web site.

On August 2, I received from your Newark, New Jersey, parts warehouse Explanation
seven HL monitors. I immediately returned these monitors with a note of error
indicating the mistake that had been made. However, not only have failed
Enclosures
to receive the ST3 scanners I ordered, but I have also been billed substantiating
repeatedly. complaint

I have enclosed a copy of my confirmation e-mail, the shipping form, and

the most recent bill. If you cannot send me the scanners I ordered by
November 1, please cancel my order.
Request for
Sincerely, solution

Paul Denlinger

Paul Denlinger
Manager
pld@baker.org
Enclosures

www.baker.org

58
 Adjustments
An adjustment letter responds to a complaint and tells the customer what
your company intends to do about the problem. You should settle such matters
quickly and courteously, always trying to satisfy the customer at a reasonable cost
to your company. An effective adjustment letter actually builds goodwill as it
both repairs any damage that has been done and restores the customer’s
confidence in your company.
Open your letter with what the reader will consider good news.
 Grant the adjustment, if appropriate, for uncomplicated situation
(“Enclosed is a replacement for the damaged part”).
 Reveal that you intend to grant the adjustment by admitting that the
customer was right (“Yes, you were incorrectly billed for the
delivery”). Then explain the specific details of the adjustment. This
method is good for adjustments that require detailed explanations.
 Apologize for the error (“Please accept our apologies for not acting
sooner to correct your account”). This method is effective when the
customer’s inconvenience is as much an issue as money.
 Use a combination of these techniques. Often, situations that require
an adjustment also require flexibility.

The tone of your correspondence is critical. Grant adjustment graciously; a

settlement made grudgingly will do more harm than good. No matter how
unreasonable the complaint, your response should be positive and respectful,
focusing not on the unfortunate situation but on what you are doing to correct it.
Not only must you be gracious, you must also acknowledge the error in such a
way that the customer or client will not lose confidence in your organization.
Before granting an adjustment to a claim for which your company is at fault, as
illustrated in Figure 4-21, you must determine what happened and what you can
do to satisfy the customer. Be certain that you are familiar with your company’s
adjustment policy. In addition, be careful about your wording; for example, “we
have just received your letter of May 7 about our defective product” could be
59
ruled in a court of law as an admission that the product is, in fact, defective. Treat
every claim individually, and lean toward giving the customer the benefit of the
doubt.
Sometimes you may decide to grant a partial adjustment to regain the
customer’s lost goodwill, even though the claim is not really justified, as in
Figure 4-22.
You also might need to educate your reader about the use of your product
or service. Customers sometimes submit unjustified claims honestly believing
them to be fair (for example, a problem resulting from a customer not following
maintenance instructions properly). You would grant such a claim only to build
goodwill. When you write a letter of adjustment in such a situation, give the
explanation before granting the claim – otherwise, your reader may never get to
the explanation. If your explanation establishes customer responsibility, do so
tactfully, as Figure 4-23 illustrates.

Guidelines for Writing Tactful Adjustment Letters

 Address your reader respectfully, whether you apologize, explain, educate, or
offer an adjustment.
 Explain what caused the problem if such an explanation will help restore your
reader’s confidence or goodwill.
 Explain specifically how you intend to make the adjustment if it is not
obvious in your opening.
 Express appreciation to the customer for calling your attention to the situation,
explaining that this helps your firm keep the quality of its product or service
high.
 Point out any steps you may be taking to prevent a recurrence of whatever
went wrong, giving the customer as much credit as the facts allow.
 Avoid recalling the problem in your closing (“Again, we apologize…”). Close
positively, looking forward, not back.

60
Figure 4-21: Adjustment Letter (Company Takes Responsibility)

International Hotels
EXECUTIVE OFFICE
September 26, 2013

Ms. Elizabeth Shapiro

2374 N. Kenwood Ave.
Fresno, CA 93650

Dear Ms. Shapiro:

We are sorry that you and your husband’s stay with us did not go
smoothly. Providing dependable service is what’s expected of us – and Gracious
when our staff doesn’t provide high-quality service, it’s easy to understand tone
our guest’s disappointment. I truly wish we had performed better and that
your vacation plans had not been disrupted.

We are eager to restore your confidence in our ability to provide

Adjustment
dependable, high-quality service. Please accept the enclosed certificate for
one weekend’s stay at any of 500 hotels worldwide. I hope we will have
the pleasure of welcoming you and your husband again soon.

Ms. Shapiro, in addition, we appreciate your taking the time to write. It Positive
helps to receive comments such as yours, and we conscientiously follow closing
through to be sure proper procedures are met. I assure you your letter is
being put to good use.

Yours truly,

M.J. Matthews

Ms. M.J. Matthews

Executive Office

Enclosures: Certificate
10113 Executive Drive/Chicago, Illinois 60601
800-964-9400 interhotel.com

61
Figure 4-22: Partial Adjustment Letter (Customer Is Responsible)

Customer Relations
Phone (212) 574-3894
Fax (212) 574-3899
ssiegel@compsol.com

Computer Solutions, Inc.

521 West 23rd Street
New York, NY 10011

September 28, 2008

Mr. Fred J. Swesky

7811 Ranchero Drive
Tucson, AZ 85761

Dear Mr. Swesky:

Thank you for your letter regarding the replacement of your CS5
Notebook Computer.

You said in your letter that you used the unit on an open deck. As our
Explanation of
service representative pointed out, this model is not designed to operate in customer
extreme heat. As the instruction manual accompanying your new CS5 responsibility
states, such exposure can produce irreparable damage. Because your unit
was used in such exterme heat conditions, we cannot honor the warranty.

However, we are enclosing a certificate entitling you to a trade-in

allowance equal to your local CSI dealer’s markup for the unit. This Partial
Adjustment
means you can purchase a new unit at wholesale provided you return your
original unit to your local dealer.

Sincerely,

Susan Siegel

Susan Siegel
Assistant Director
SS/mr
Enclosure

62
Figure 4-23: Educational Adjustment Letter

9025 North Main Street Phone (800) 233-5656

Butte, MT 59702 Fax (800) 233-3010
_______________________________________________________________________

August 26, 2011

Mr. Carlos Ortiz

638 McSwaney Drive
Butte, MT 59702

Dear Mr. Ortiz:

Enclosed is your SWELCO Coffeemaker, which you sent to us on August

17.

In various parts of the country, tap water may have a high mineral content.
Education of
If you fill your SWELCO Coffeemaker, with water for breakfast coffee customer
before going to bed, a mineral scale will build up on the inner wall of the
water tube – as explained on page 2 of your SWELCO instruction
Booklet.

We have removed the mineral scale from the water tube of your
coffeemaker and thoroughly cleaned the entire unit. To ensure the best Adjustment &
service from your coffeemaker in the future, clean it once a month by instruction
operating it with four ounces of white vinegar and eight cups of water. To
rinse out the vinegar taste, operate the units twice with clear water.

With proper care, your SWELCO Coffeemaker will serve you faithfully Positive closing
and well for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Helen Upham

Helen Upham
Customer Services

HU/mo
Enclosure
swelco.com

63
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