factor vii: trouble with people

cluster w: self-centered

vii w
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105 Betrayal
Betrayal of Trust
The glue that holds all relationships together—including the relationship
between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
Brian Tracy – American TV host

A Problem
▫ Says one thing and means or does another
▫ Is inconsistent and unpredictable at times
▫ Fails to follow through on commitments
Not A Problem
▫ Always follows through
▫ Keeps confidences
▫ Walks his/her talk
▫ Does what he/she says he/she will do
▫ Finishes what he/she starts
▫ Is steady and predictable
▫ Checks back if there is going to be a problem
Some Causes
▫ Avoid conflict
▫ Devious
▫ Disorganized/unpredictable
▫ Forgetful
▫ Not customer oriented
▫ Poor political skills
▫ Poor time management
▫ Spread too thin; can’t say no
▫ Too anxious to make the sale
▫ Overly ambitious
Other Causes
BEING UNSKILLED AT: 10,11,12,13,22,23,29,34,57
OVERUSING: 6,8,21,27,31,38,48
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Leadership Architect® Factors and Clusters
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This competency is in the Trouble with People Factor (VII) (S1). This competency
is in the Self-Centered Cluster (W) with: 103, 104, 107, 109, 119. You may want
to check other competencies in the same Factor/Cluster for related tips.

The Map
Trust that you will do what you committed to and what is expected drives the
world. Anything less than that leads to damaged or severed relationships, lost
customers, unfinished projects, re-work and wasted time, and lots of noise.
There is no up-side to betraying a trust.

Some Remedies
▫ 1. Unreliable? Follow through. Do you return phone calls in a timely
manner? Do you forward material you promised? Did you pass on
information you promised to get? Did you carry through on a task you
promised someone you would take care of? Failing to do things like this
damages relationships. If you tend to forget things, write them down. If
you run out of time, set up a specific time each day to follow through on
commitments. If you are going to miss a deadline, let them know and give
them a second date you will be sure to make.
▫ 2. Overcommitted? Learn to say no. A lot of trouble follows over-
committing. Overcommitting usually comes from wanting to please
everyone or not wanting to face the conflict if you say no. You can only
do so much. Only commit to that which you can actually do. Commit to a
specific time for delivery. Write it down. Learn to say “no,” pleasantly. Learn
to pass it off to someone else who has the time—“Gee no, but I’m sure
Susan could help you with that.” Learn to say, “Yes, but it will take longer
than you might want to wait,” and give them the option of withdrawing the
request. Learn to say, “Yes, but what else that I have already committed to
do for you would you like to delay to get this done?” More help? – See #50
Priority Setting.
▫ 3. Unrealistic? Don’t exaggerate or overpromise. Trying too hard to make
the sale? Does your enthusiasm to make the sale or get your point across
cause you to commit to too many things in the heat of the transaction?
The customers you get by unrealistic commitments are the customers you
will lose forever when they find out you can’t deliver.
▫ 4. Trying too hard to impress? Prove yourself by your results. It’s common
for people to promise too much so others will be impressed. It’s also
common that people who do that repeatedly lose in the long term because
others will learn to discount promises and only measure results.
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▫ 5. Trying to avoid conflict? Say what you intend to do and do what you say.

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Do you say what you need to say to get through the meeting or transaction
but have little intention of doing what you said? Do you say things just to
go along and not cause trouble? Do you say what you need to say to avoid
disagreement or an argument? All these behaviors will eventually backfire
when people find out you said something different in another setting or to
another person, or they notice you didn’t actually follow through and do
what you said.
▫ 6. Intentionally saying things to gain an advantage? Lose your agenda.
Do you actually know ahead of time that what you are saying is not really
true or that you really don’t think that? Do you say things you don’t mean
to gain an advantage or forward a relationship or get some resources?
Do you forward your personal agenda ahead of that of the team or
organization? Any of these will eventually catch up to you and cause
you career disruption. More help? – See #22 Ethics and Values and #29
Integrity and Trust.
▫ 7. Unpredictable? Be consistent. Many people are inconsistent in at least
some of the things they do. Many follow through some days and weeks
and not others. Some follow through up but not down in the organization.
Some follow through with individuals they like and not with people they
don’t like. While all this is human nature, it’s a losing strategy. Basically, if
you can do it once, do it with one person, do it on one day, you should be
able to do it much more often. More help? – See #43 Perseverance.
▫ 8. Leave things undone? Finish what you start. Very action oriented?
Impatient? Fingers in many pies? Interest wanes if it takes too long? All
of these result in unmet commitments. Try to discipline yourself to finish
what you’ve started. Don’t move on until it’s done. Delegate finishing it to
someone you trust. Check back to see that it was done. If you are not going
to finish it, inform those concerned that you do not intend to complete the
task with the reasons for your decision.
▫ 9. Always out of time? Manage your time. Do you intend to get to things
but never have the time? Do you always estimate shorter times to get
things done that then take longer? There is a well-established science and
a set of best practices in time management. There are a number of books
you can buy in any business bookstore, and there are a number of good
courses you can attend. Delegating also helps you use your time more
effectively. More help? – See #62 Time Management.
▫ 10. Not trustworthy? Reconsider your worldview. Perhaps you really
aren’t very trustworthy. You hedge, sabotage others, play for advantage,
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set up others, don’t intend to follow up. You justify it by saying that things