Primary 6

Anger and Aggression

Anger is an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having
been offended, wronged or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation.
Anger is the most common emotion which results in conflict. Behind most
anger is fear. Anger comes from the Latin word meaning "to choke or
strangle". It literally chokes off the blood supply to the brain, which reduces
the ability to think clearly. When most people become angry, they begin to
breathe more rapidly, and their pulse rates increase. They may raise their
voices, clench their fists, sweat, or feel tightness in their chest.

When angry, some people say they cannot hear, focus their attention, process
information, or make good choices. It is not surprising that the level of violence
and aggression increase dramatically in such situations.

Generally, anger is difficult to control. But highly intelligent people can control
their anger before it explodes. Once they notice anger rising they switch their
attention to something else.

Anger may have physical consequences such as increased heart rate, high
blood pressure, and rising levels of adrenaline and noradrenalin. Some view
anger as part of the `fight or flight’ brain response to a perceived threat or
harm. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviourally, cognitively, and
physiologically. Basically, anger has two different characteristics. They are
passive anger and aggressive anger.

Passive anger

Passive anger can be expressed in the following ways:

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Dispassion, such as giving someone an insincere smile or looking unconcerned,
dampening feelings with substance abuse, overreacting, oversleeping, frigidity.

 Evasiveness, such as turning one's back to a crisis, avoiding conflict, not

arguing back.
 Defeatism, such as setting yourself and others up for failures, being
accident prone, underachieving, expressing frustration at even
insignificant things.
 Obsessive behaviour, such as needing to be inordinately clean and tidy,
making a habit of constantly checking things, overeating, demanding
that all jobs be done perfectly.
 Psychological manipulation, such as provoking people to aggression and
then patronizing them, provoking aggression but staying on the side-
lines, false sadness, feigning illness, sabotaging relationships.
 Secretive behaviour, such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed
behind people's backs, giving silent treatment,muttering, avoiding eye
contact, letting people down, writing poison pen letters,stealing.
 Self-blame, such as apologizing too often, inviting criticism.
 Self-sacrifice,such as being overly helpful, making do with second best,
long-suffering, sighs but refusing help.

Aggressive anger

The symptoms of aggressive anger are:

 Bullying, such as threatening people, persecuting, playing on people's

weaknesses.

 Destructiveness, such as destroying objects, destroying relationships,

reckless driving, and substance abuse.

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  Grandiosity, such as showing off, expressing mistrust, wanting centre
stage all the time.

 Hurtfulness, such as physical violence, verbal abuse, biased or vulgar

jokes, breaking a confidence, using foul language,ignoring people's
feeling, blaming, punishing people for unwarranted deeds.

 Manic behaviour, such as speaking too fast, walking too fast, working
too much and expecting others to do the same, driving too fast.

 Selfishness, such as ignoring others' needs, not responding to requests

for help, queue jumping.

 Threats, such as frightening people by saying how one could harm them,
their property or their prospects, finger pointing, fist shaking, tailgating,
excessively blowing car horns, and slamming doors.

 Unjust blaming, such as accusing other people for one's own mistakes,
blaming people for your own feelings.

 Unpredictability, such as explosive rages over minor frustrations,

attacking indiscriminately, illogical arguments.

 Vengeance, such as being over-punitive, refusing to forgive and forget.

Dealing with anger

You can deal with anger using anger-management strategies, some of which
are listed below:

Determine the causes

When trying to control anger, first try to figure out what is causing it. You can
often control the anger once you identify the cause or causes.

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Use relaxation techniques

Using relaxation techniques; such as deep breathing, counting backward, going

for a walk, or getting some exercise and relaxing your muscles. It will help you
to control your physical reactions. Once you take a break and “cool-off,” it is
easier to control what you do and say than when you are feeling angry.

Avoid triggering conflict

Sometimes, people behave in ways that make others angry. In some

relationships, such as between siblings, this can be done intentionally. Try to
be aware of situations where emotions are escalating because of sometimes
you or someone else said or did. In some cases, the conversation may need to
be stooped temporarily to avoid emotions getting out of control.

Keep your feeling in check

If you cannot avoid the things that trigger your anger, you can manage your
reactions better by knowing which anger-management strategies work best for
you.

SELF-EVALUATION QUESTIONS TO BE CARRIED OUT WITH PARENTS OR GUARDIAN.

1. When you feel angry, how would you deal with your anger?
2. Write down three disadvantages of anger.
3. Describe the characteristics of your anger.
4. Why anger management strategies are important?
5. Have you ever had experiences with bullying? If so, how did you solve
that case?
6. How did you react, or respond when a teacher scolded you?
7. How did you solve, when you argue with your friend?