[Music]

hey psych2goers and welcome back to

another video

if you're new here welcome to psych2go

confidence

some people are born with an innate

streak of confidence

whilst it takes a little time for others

to develop confidence as they develop

from children into adults

but there will be times when your

confidence takes a knock

right it's common to feel like you wish

your confidence was better

while other things that are out of

control may impact your confidence

such as other people it's important to

know which things you are in control of

and how you can prevent yourself from

destroying your own confidence

so here are 9 habits that are destroying

your confidence

number one you care too much about what

other people think

how many times have you said to yourself

i don't care what other people think

about me

honestly the tally isn't quite

encouraging is it no

that's okay it's common to care about

what other people think especially for

trying to impress them

as human beings you want to be liked and

respected by others

however when you value other people's

thinking and opinion above your own

and change your behavior to reflect what

you think others want to see

you're doing more harm than good for

yourself number two

negative thinking i'm not good enough i

can't do this

you've had one too many of those days

haven't you

you become what you think if you always

think you're not good enough

then you'll never be confident do you

have thoughts that you can never get

that promotion

even though you are qualified that's

negative thinking

indulging in pessimism creates a

self-fulfilling prophecy

oh boy yeah you're gradually destroying

your self-confidence with all of these

thoughts

reframing those negative thoughts to say

i am good enough to get this job and

i need to show my skills can reinforce a

more positive mindset

it's crucial to focus on what you can do

instead of worrying about the outcomes

that you can't control

number three social media living do you

compare your lifestyle with your friends

on social media

or how many times have you thought that

your social media life is better than

your own life

the pretty pictures people paint on

social media

as we know are not always as they appear

to be

if you consistently find yourself

comparing yourself to others

and living in your own version of

reality and only putting out what you

want the world to see

then you may notice that this has an

impact on your confidence in the real

world

once you start to understand that this

is not what everyday lives are like

then you should start to feel more

grounded number four

self-deprecating talk when you diminish

what you do

you're taking shots at your

self-confidence if every time you speak

in a personal or professional setting

and you say that you're not that great

you're diminishing your worth and value

when you're constantly communicating

that you're not that great it's bound to

make you feel

less than confident writer c.s lewis

once said

humility is not thinking less of

yourself but it's thinking of yourself

less so remember that and try not to

confuse humility with self-deprecation

number five the blame game is your

favorite sport

when you find yourself in a situation

that you are not happy with

such as the job that you hate do you

tend to find excuses and blame everybody

else

or everything else for what is happening

this

destroys your self-esteem and you feel

less confident about being able to

manage your situation

you'll need to develop an exit plan for

your self-esteem

in his video how to beast explains this

idea of

blaming acts as a defense mechanism so

rather than pass the blame

taking ownership of your situation

should jumpstart your confidence

fingers crossed number six you set the

bar low for yourself

when you disclaim i'm not very good at

this so don't have any expectations

it immediately makes others question

your ability disqualifying yourself

verbally reassures you that others won't

have high expectations from you and

won't be disappointed

but by setting yourself at this level

naturally your confidence is going to be

low

as is your sense of value so when you

put confidence on it

it instills confidence in others about

you as well

number seven thinking that you don't

have anything to say or contribute to a

discussion

why don't you tend to get involved in

conversations at work or at social

events

is it because you don't believe that you

have anything meaningful to add

maybe well this too is destroying your

confidence

as you may feel like people will be

bored of what you have to say

or that they'll think that you're not

smart yeah or they'll make fun of me

this is a story that you've told

yourself

and you've started to believe that it's

true it may be that the topic of

conversation is not something that

you're particularly interested in or

know a lot about

but it should not be allowed to cost you

your confidence okay number eight

you dismiss compliments guilty as

charged

right yeah me too we often receive

compliments by

deflecting or shying away from accepting

them because we're embarrassed or we

don't believe the comment

by deflecting we're not only selling

ourselves short

but challenging the judgment of the

person complimenting us

accepting compliments graciously doesn't

make you an egomaniac

we can accept compliments graciously and

take them on board when developing our

confidence

and number nine ruminating ever find

yourself repeatedly going over what you

didn't get right or situations you

didn't like

an example of this may be that you

continuously think about something you

said during a presentation to your work

colleagues

rumination is taking thinking to another

dimension altogether

even though thinking is considered

necessary for problem solving

ruminating is focused on the problem and

not on finding the solution

in her article for forbes jaime kaluga

wrote that when you ruminate on your

poor decisions or setbacks consistently

even the most confident people can

struggle at times and it's perfectly

normal

you are unique individuals with

different skills so use them to your

advantage

using positive affirmations every day

where possible can help to remind you of

your strengths

and what you want to develop do any of

these describe your experience

or did any of these points describe you

if you have any comments or feedback

regarding this video please leave them

in the comment box below

we love hearing back from our viewers

and your feedback is so important for us

when we're creating content at psych2go

if you found this video helpful be sure

to hit the like button and share it with

those out there diminishing their

confidence due to their own habits

don't forget to subscribe to site to go

and hit the notification bell for more

new videos

as always thanks for watching see you

next time

you