Myra Joanna Arce February 27, 2023

Reaction Paper #2 DLQ 10 TH-A

Betrayal of Conscience is More Than a Betrayal of the Self

Eager to find out how their senior priest has fallen silent after years of converting

Christians in Japan, Fr. Rodrigues and Fr. Garupe were confronted by the sufferings of the

Christians who held onto their belief and sought comfort in words and poor signs of faith.

Martin Scorsese’s adaptation of Shusaku Endo’s novel Silence captures the discernment of a

Jesuit priest through the Ignatian Exercises and depicts the comfort and struggle in

conversing with God. In his attempt to find Fr. Ferreira, Fr. Rodrigues loses himself and seeks

God’s voice in silence— following the Ignatian Exercises that allowed him to be indifferent

and find sanctuary in God’s love.

Some may find it absurd that the Christians died for their faith: it cannot be too

difficult to say that they deny God and step on the image of Jesus. However, apostatizing was

more than a denial of one’s faith; it was a betrayal of their conscience. They knew that they

could not live as non-Christians who denied God hence their embrace of death. This is the

reason why the Inquisitor took great pride in the apostation of Fr. Ferreira: they were able to

defeat a priest’s conscience; they were able to take away his freedom to obey and worship

God. Even when an individual successfully betrays their own conscience and lives, they

always carry the sin that they have committed. For instance, Kichijiro was burdened with his

betrayal of his family and Fr. Rodrigues: this is against the calls of God. Due to the primacy

of conscience, we must always heed to its sacred call, and not to our own desires and external

pressures from the people around us. In the case of the Christians in Japan, they knew that

apostatizing was a betrayal of their own conscience hence despite impending death, they still

prayed. The confusion whether it is my own conscience that speaks to me or the expectations

of the society is extremely relevant in a society where everyone seems to be “watched” by

others. As a student leader, I’m very cautious of what I say or do, especially in front of other

people and on social media. In fact, I often doubt my own actions despite truly believing in

its purpose due to the fear of being “canceled.” I often mistake my fear of being ostracized by

a cruel society for the dialogue between my own voice and the voice of God; since only I can

truly know my own conscience, it is both frightening and empowering.

In fact, the interiority of conscience may cause someone to doubt it. It is a sanctuary

where an individual is alone with God, but a peaceful sanctuary may be infuriating to those

who await a certain and tangible response. Fr. Rodrigues, helpless amidst the silence that he

received from God, engaged in a series of dialogic prayers. He was called to Japan to find Fr.

Ferreira but in the country, he experienced far more than what he imagined: at first, he helped

the Christians in Tomogi gain strength through their appearance. He heard confessions and

gave what he could to the people— tantum quantum. The persecutions of Christians in Japan

could have discouraged Fr. Rodrigues, but he persevered and allowed God to use him in other

ways other than the search for Fr. Ferreira. In his prayers, he began to identify himself with

Christ. He was able to bear God’s silence as he found an ally in Jesus, ultimately able to find

God in all things, even in the sufferings around him.

Fr. Rodrigues gave what he could: his most crucial act of indifference was his

apostasy to save the five other Christians. Being a priest was his vocation and to give it up

meant that he had to give up most of his life, but he was indifferent to the title. In his

discernment, he knew that he was called to love and serve his neighbors. To be indifferent to

the riches and titles in the world is difficult, especially when most of our lives, we are shaped

to become successful in terms of titles and wealth. When I was young, I was always asked

what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I always replied, “to be a lawyer.” We were never

really taught to make love our ultimate goal; it seems that love now has become just another
aspect of our lives. Up until now, I always work hard to achieve the titles that I want to

achieve, and admittedly, if one asks me to give them all up, it would be a difficult feat.

Silence shows an individual’s immense love for God: despite his own inclinations as a

priest, he yielded to God’s plan and trusted Him. He was committed and deeply in love with

Him that despite the seemingly absent God as manifested in His silence, Fr. Rodrigues knew

that God was always beside him. He allowed God to use him in order to pursue love for

others. His conscience allowed him to have a conversation with God, which ultimately pulled

him towards a life without title and possibly denounced by the Catholic Church for apostasy,

but restful in God’s hands.