INDEPENDENCE FROM DRAMA. INDEPENDENCE FROM GUILT.

INDEPENDENCE FROM ANGRY WOMEN. INDEPENDENCE FROM

APOLOGY. INDEPENDENCE FROM SHAME. INDEPENDENCE FROM
OUR MALE-BASHING SOCIETY AND FEMINISTS.... FREEDOM AND
CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE, DECISIONS, AND LIFESTYLE.
CONTROL OVER YOUR EMOTIONS. BEING A GOOD MAN WHO
DOES GOOD THINGS FOR PEOPLE- BUT DOESN'T TAKE SHIT
FROM ANYONE EITHER.

BEING MAN
SHELLEY MCMURTRY
 WholeMan Lifestyle proudly presents

SHELLEY MCMURTRY
Being Man.

2019 Edition
 What's in here?....

Part One: Independence and Freedom

Part Two: When Her Loyalty Ends & The Benefits Stop

Part Three: Seeking “Positive Revenge”, Using Productive Anger

Part One: Independence and Freedom
Hello, This is Shelley McMurtry, the woman on your side….

This about the importance of enjoying your life as a man, a WholeMan who knows what he wants, doesn't feel sorry about his desires, and
actively pursues the women, goals and lifestyle he chooses. Who appreciates manly pleasures. Without apology. Without explaining.
Without guilt. Without drama. Being a leader and soldier of your life and to the woman (or women) most important to you. Being a good man
who does good things- but doesn’t take shit from people either. This is about how important and reputable manhood and being a man is,
even though society is oftentimes filled with male-bashing messages, feminist rhetoric, unjust laws which frequently rule against men, nasty
divorces and entitled women.

This is about rising above that and enjoying your life more with quality women. Locating and dating (even marrying) a truly good woman. Or,
possibly you prefer to casually date several good women.

Some time ago now, my friend & colleague John Alanis wrote an episode titled 'Two pigs and a beer' back when Seth Rogan and Amy
Schumer were doing the highly disturbing Bud Light commercials (the fact that those commercials bombed does give me some hope for
humanity). One topic he addresses within this episode is guilt, and the chronic "guilting" in our society, where people try to make you feel
bad if you have any self-earned accomplishment or nicer purchase, and men are somehow supposed to feel guilty for partaking in manly
pleasures.

The guilt topic (and "guilting") is one I try to address ever so often in my writing and teachings, because I see it getting worse, especially for
men. It also drives me crazy that non-profits use guilt, projecting images of needy children, homeless animals, and so forth, to pull at
heartstrings and purposefully make people feel bad, in an effort to acquire donations. It's pathetic. They aren't selling anything, there is no
trade for product or value in return for money. They are simply guilting you into giving them money, for nothing in return. There is nothing
different between the non-profits who practice this and a homeless person, begging for pocket change.

Guilt is dangerous because it can eventually lead to narcissism and other psychological conditions & responses. It's also the root cause of
many people's depression, and I know this to be true firsthand, as it's a contributing factor of my personal battle with depression.... When it
comes to our feminist, man-hating & emasculating society, it has even made many men feel guilty for even being men & their desire for
manly pleasures.

I want to share John's episode, then I'll make my own comments below. His writings on attraction, society and history are very well done....

Subj: Two pigs and a beer

Hey Guys—

In case you haven’t seen it, there is a horrible commercial for Bud Light currently being aired featuring the obnoxious, fat Seth Rogen and the
obnoxious, fat Amy Schumer. Actually, there are two of them, but they both have one thing in common: they are politicizing a beer
commercial, talking about such silliness as “gender is a spectrum.”

Perhaps that is true for both of them—I see nothing manly about Seth Rogen, nor anything womanly about Amy Schumer. Piggy, yes.
Attractive, no. And it certainly doesn’t make me want to buy Bud Light, in fact it makes me want to never, ever buy it.

Anheuser Busch is, of course, a private company, and can pay to say whatever they want. But if they are using those two clowns who are
clearly eating way more than their fair share, then we really have reached a low point.

I remember when beer commercials used to be all about hot women, beaches, hanging out with friends, loud rock and roll, and having a
good time with NO GUILT. Hell, one of my all times favorites was the Old Milwaukee Swedish Bikini team commercial, and while Old
Milwaukee is just plain nasty, I actually drank some because, well, I like hot blondes in bikinis and don’t feel guilty about it at all.

At one time, being attractive was celebrated. But both Rogen and Schumer are repulsive, snotty, and not funny (perhaps the worst thing you
can say about a comedian). Perhaps they are beloved on college campuses and safe spaces, but certainly not to real men or women.
I say bring back Spuds Mackenzie. I say bring back Billie Dee Williams and the Colt 45 that works every time. I say bring back Miller High
Life, beer that’s made the American Way. I say bring back Old Milwaukee and the Swedish Bikini Team. I say bring back Smokey and the
Bandit, hauling Coors Banquet Beer to the boys who are thirsty in Atlanta.

And most of all, I say bring back the good times, the sexy women, and all the good honest fun that comes with it. No preaching, no politics,
no guilting, no self righteousness, and no piggishness. No fat chicks, no broke dudes, just an honest, fun celebration of accomplishment. If I
want politics, I’ll tune in elsewhere, but sure as hell not to a beer commercial featuring two repulsive people.

I’m all for reading, I’m all for studying history, and I do pay attention to politics. But when it comes to fun, keep all of that out. It’s not
profound, and it’s not deep, but the irrepressible Brett Michaels of Poison said it best and he said it eloquently when he said, “don’t want
nothing but a good time, and it don’t get better than this.” Amen to that, Brother Michaels.

On with the fun,

-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

.... So, I say thoroughly enjoy being a man each and every day and enjoy the things men enjoy! Appreciate manly pleasures. Don't you dare
feel guilty for looking at and appreciating sexy, tan, big breasted women!....

Listen to the music you like, loudly if you so desire....

Have some beer, or a nicer scotch if you prefer....
Possibly you'd like to relax and enjoy a cigar....
Get outside and go fishing, or whatever you enjoy....

Let lesser men be "politically correct" while you're the comical, honest, edgy man who sexy women LOVE!.... Don't dare apologize for being
who you are, and especially don't apologize (ever) for being a man and enjoying the things men enjoy!

Remember....

Independence from drama. Independence from guilt. Independence from angry women. Independence from apology. Independence from
shame. Independence from our male-bashing society and feminists....

Enjoy your life as a man, a WholeMan who knows what he wants, doesn't feel sorry about his desires, and actively pursues the women, goals
and lifestyle he chooses. Who appreciates manly pleasures. Without apology. Without explaining. Without guilt. Without drama. Being a
leader and soldier of your life and to the woman (or women) most important to you. Being a good man who does good things, demonstrating
how important and reputable manhood and being a man is.
Part Two: When Her Loyalty Ends & The Benefits Stop
Now I want to discuss something which I regularly practice, because it's something very important to do in life. I practice ridding myself of
"dead weight". Now, the "dead weight" I’m going to mainly refer to here as an example, has to do with my business and business life, but I
practice this in my personal life as well. This is something important for you to practice in all aspects of your life, to make sure you are fully
reaching and maintaining your attractive, happy, healthy, WholeMan character.

For me, frequently I search through thousands (literally!) of order receipts, files, emails, and so forth, and I extract around 2,000-6,000
members/readers who either refunded an affiliate (colleague's) product or emailed my assistant Meby with some rude or disgusting email,
or I just simply feel aren’t proactive, beneficial members. I then delete those members from this membership, so they'll no longer receive my
articles, and then I blocked their email from being entered again.

Now, some of these men I ban and delete, have recently ordered a product, and there is a strong chance I could lose out on some money
(temporarily) from deleting how many members I do at times- but I don't care about that. Long term, gradually, I'm getting new members,
more proactive and involved members, and the overall "health" of this membership and my readers is continuously increasing. Therefore,
that is healthy for me emotionally and business wise. I spend far too much time and thought writing my articles and sharing what I do, to be
taken for granted, or treated rudely, degraded, or even threatened. I have zero tolerance for men (or female friends, etc.) who are whiners,
unappreciative, weak and/or temperamental. Just as you should have no tolerance for such women and people in your life.....

They are "dead weight" just weighing you down and if they aren't valuing you or your friendship, manhood or strengths, then you can find
better women and friends.

“Let me be clear, my love is unconditional, but your presence in my life is not. The moment that you prove that your
value of me does not measure up to my sense of self-worth, I'll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of
you and moving on.” -Unknown

Having said that, let's be quite honest here.... Sometimes that is easier said than done. Sometimes it's hard to move away from someone
who you have such good memories with, or a friend who has been in your life since childhood, or a cousin you'll still have to see during the
holidays. So, here is my advice on that....

Try to be sentimental about the good points in your life with that individual, and the fun times and good memories, but don't feel you have to
be sentimental towards releasing them from your life or moving away from them. Even the most toxic relationship or the most narcissistic
person, still has positives, good times and great memories, but if the larger percentage of time that relationship/friendship is unhealthy, one-
sided, or abusive in some form- for the good of yourself you must get that person out of your life, or at least distance yourself enough so
that you can be happy and reach your full potential.

Returning to my example above, you'll notice that I said: Long term, gradually, I'm getting new members, more proactive and involved
members, and the overall "health" of this membership and my readers is continuously increasing.

....That is an investment.

This is important for you to do as well and can make the fear and discomfort of getting rid of a toxic friend or woman easier.... Make a
conscious decision to meet new friends and women. Be social. Be socially active. Attend events. Keep yourself mentally, emotionally and
physically stimulated. If you do have "downtime" occasionally where you would have been with that person, then use it wisely and keep
yourself moving forward. Read. Learn. Research events, groups, talks, music, art, theater and more happening in your area. Discover a new
restaurant. Try a new hobby. Go to a bookstore (one of the few which are still around). Or, get online and message women on Match.com or
elsewhere.

Yes, it can be scary letting someone who you still care about go. Or, you have such good memories with. Or, you always thought that
someday they'd change and appreciate you as you deserve to be appreciated- but that day never came. But, sometimes for the good of
yourself and your future, goals, emotions and outcomes, you must let "dead weight", heavy baggage and toxic friends lose. It's an
investment in your future.
Part Three: Seeking “Positive Revenge”, Using Productive Anger
Have you ever heard the saying, "Living well is the best revenge"? It's one of my favorites. Oftentimes when I'm traveling and staying at a
really nice historic inn or resort, sipping on nicely aged wine, eating a delicious meal, and experiencing something totally beautiful, I think
about the ex (from years back) who told me I was "nothing", the teacher who told me I'd never own a business and that a piece of paper was
smarter than I, and all of those who've ever hurt me.... and I smile.
 
Since I was a young child, I had the desire to reach certain goals, and to at least reach a certain level of success. With my social anxieties
and therefore my love for privacy, I wasn't ever one of these who wanted to be a movie star, or singer, or celebrity of any form. I just wanted
to live a fulfilling, relatively low-stress, enjoyable, successful, robust life.

From an early age, I wanted to impress my parents. I also felt the need to prove myself to my father, I guess (unfortunately, also making me
a "pleaser".) My father was already decently successful & accomplished by the time I was a young child and increased in his success as I
was growing up. He owned a pharmaceutical testing company, which was demanding, and he was a strong investor in real estate, from large
ranches to office buildings.

In a way, I was raised how Donald Trump's children explain how they were raised, with a father who would push the pole out of his own
children's hand as they were skiing, just to see if they'd recover and still race him to the bottom of the hill.

In my earlier 20's I wasn't as tough as I am now though. I'd easily get overwhelmed (way too easily, compared to now), and when I got overly
stressed or overwhelmed, I'd shutdown. Oftentimes calling the day early and heading to the bar. I would stop all productivity.

I eventually matured and became better about that (though not "prefect"), but I got into a relationship with a man who was less than loving
at times. I had entered into his business, to help him be successful. I poured all sorts of money into what became "our" business, time into
our marketing, and redesigned the entire business structure, with him being extremely appreciative and loving... at first....

Then it became extremely volatile and explosive. He soon felt inferior to me, he increased his drinking substantially, and he would do and
say anything to try and make me feel smaller, and himself feel superior. He'd tell me that I was nothing, he'd call me a fraud, he called my
family casserole eating peasants on a couple of occasions, and he would also purposefully do things to sabotage my projects, work, clients,
time, and so forth. Once even leaving one of my dogs bleeding and injured (she ended up being okay).

I had to fight, and I had to get tough. Really tough. Even in the worst depths of that unstable time with bags under my eyes from crying most
nights (sometimes crying to the point of vomiting), I had to plaster a smile on my face for our clients, and I had to be strategic in overcoming
everything he sabotaged or whatever drama he decided to create, on a daily basis. Day.... after day.... after day.

It made me much better at time management, and conditioned me that no matter what, I had to keep going. I had to fight for myself, my
parents, my animals, the clients, my other business, and my overall goals.... and to eventually escape that nightmare of an investment trap. I
had to overcome and recover.

And, yep.... I also wanted to prove to him that I'm someone special, and that I was smarter, more mature, more savvy, and more mentally
stable than he'll ever come close to being. I wanted "positive revenge". I busted my butt to make a better, more fulfilling, more stable,
lifestyle.
 
That's just basic competition. Through evolution, we have the chemicals which make us angry and give us adrenaline for a reason. These
days, we don't need it to fight for our life as much anymore, but occasionally we need it to fight for our emotional or financial survival, and
for our happiness.

Anger, when used for limited periods of time and in a productive manner to eradicate a problem, or competition, or make a necessary
change, can be a good thing. There's a huge difference between short-term, natural, productive anger, directed at the correct source versus
those who are chronically angry, and are usually angry at the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and/or they use their "anger energy" for
hate and abuse.

Eventually, the man I told you about above, did come to his senses after I was long gone, both emotionally & financially divided from him. He
lost his business and his property. He now realizes that he missed out on a great opportunity and that I will never be able to forget his
accusations, insults and emotional abuse....
I'm wise enough to know that what he said then, he'd say again. His insecurities, incapability of good decision making, and inferiority
complex is at his core. His anger is at his core. He's chronically angry.

And, as cocky as it might sound to some, I know I'm far more special than he, I know I'm smarter, more savvy, and I know for a fact that I
didn't come from casserole eating peasants as he claimed.

Your "drive" can come from a number of elements and varies for each person. Maybe it's your child or children. Or, the special woman in
your life. Maybe it's simply for yourself and your goal. Possibly for your faith or a calling you have....
 
Occasionally, it may be proving to some butt-nugget or entitled bitch that you're smarter, more savvy, and more developed than they.
 
So, never forget....

"Living well is the best revenge".

Enjoy your life. Accomplish your goals. Strive for happiness and personal fulfillment. Then sip on nicely aged wine, partake in the activities
you enjoy, eat delicious meals whenever you have the opportunity, and experience the beauty of nature and historic places, then think about
the ex-girlfriend or ex-wife who either cheated on you, left you lonely, or hurt you in whatever form.... and smile.
 WHOLEMAN LIFESTYLE
2019
SHELLEY MCMURTRY

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