In my 21 years of existence, my perspective on “love” keeps on changing.

As I

learn the many dimensions of “love” from experience, I realized how it can reveal a

part of myself that I didn’t even know. The first time I encountered romantic love was

the year 2019 when I met my first boyfriend. A whole rollercoaster ride of warmth,

joy, pain, and disappointment for nearly 4 years was more than enough to uncover a

part of myself. 10 year old me would be disappointed if she knew I kept forgiving

countless betrayals but I guess 10 year old me would also be happy to know that I

am experiencing a great amount of love and care that probably beats what my

parents have given. What would 10 year old me could tell me? What would 30 year

old tell me?

21 year old me realized that at the end of the day, you only have yourself. So

make sure you become the person you can truly count on. Self reliance can feel

heavy and lonesome but attaining this can also reward the greatest form of

individuality and independence. I also realized that my parents are not to blame. The

ultimate reason why I can’t leave the relationship is because I am too weak to leave

and that I haven’t truly loved myself to become self reliant.