In a moment of pain and anger, I almost committed a terrible atrocity.

Growing up I'd learned early on there was a strange comfort and calmness in
darkness.

My family was violent and aggressive, drug-addicted parents.

You woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning by cops, to run across the country to end up
at a school for a couple of weeks and then have to do it all again a couple of days
later.

I was the perpetual new kid, and since I also had such an unstable household,
I wasn't helped by the fact that I smelled really bad because I never had a shower,
or didn't really have any clean clothes.

So every time I went to a new school I was in a new set of bullies.

I was told that I was worthless by just about everybody in my life.

At 15, 16 years old, I ended up homeless.

I thought I had pushed all my other friends away,

shoved them all away by lying to them or stealing from them.

So, I did the only thing I could think of to do:

I grabbed a phonebook, and I called social services.

Since she had spent her life running from place to place
and dealing with social workers and police officers,
she knew exactly what to say to get them to believe
that I was making it all up,
it was just an act, I was just doing it for attention.

I was going to attack either my school or a mall food court.

It really didn't matter which one.
It wasn't about the people, it was about the largest amount of damage
in the shortest amount of time with the least amount of security.

He knew that I wasn't really in school, I was just always at school.

But thankfully I wasn't alone in that darkness.

He stopped me with his acts of kindness from committing that atrocity that day.

Love the ones you feel deserve it the least because they need it the most.

Instead of looking at that kid like he's a threat,

look at him like he might be a friend,
like you might be able to bring him into the fold.
Atrocity – okrucieństwo

end up – skończyć gdzieś

perpetual – nieustanny, ciągły

unstable household - niestabilne gospodarstwo domowe

bullies – dręczyciele

worthless – bezwartościowy

homeless - bezdomny

shove away – odepchnąć od siebie

grab - chwycić

make something up – zmyślać

attention – zainteresowanie, uwaga

the largest - największy

amount of - ilość

damage – szkoda, krzywda

thankfully - szczęśliwie

acts of kindness – dobre uczynki

the least - najmniej

threat - zagrożenie

instead of - zamiast

bring somebody into the fold – sprowadzić kogoś do grona, pozyskać kogoś,

przyciągnąć