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Emily Meleedy

Mr.Smith

Junior English

4 October 2022

American Dream Essay

The official definition of the American Dream is “the ideal by which equality of

opportunity is available to any American, allowing the highest aspirations and goals to be

achieved” But this idea is altered by people in America's biased outlooks. The American Dream

is something many people in America try to achieve but other people's opinions, outlooks, and

how they treat people can affect how successful someone is in achieving their dream. The

American Dream can look different for people depending on their race and how they get treated

because of it. Aspects like these have an immense impact on what people believe the American

Dream is and how hard it can be to achieve it. In the op-eds “Coronavirus reminds Asian

Americans like me that our belonging is conditional '' by John Cho and “ No matter how smart or

hard-working, racism makes the American dream a myth for many” By April Taylor both authors

present the idea that race can be a burdensome aspect when it comes to achieving the American

dream. Someone who has faced this challenge is John Cho, a famous Asian American actor, who

has tried his whole life to fit into a certain society and achieve his dreams. In Cho’s op-ed, he

states “ I began to lead a life devoid of race. But I’ve learned that a moment always comes along

to remind you that your race defines you above all else.”(Cho). When talking about how his

successful acting career started to make him feel that his race didn't affect his success and how

people treated him, something changed his mind. He realized that no matter how successful you

are and how good you treat people, your race will always play some sort of role in your life.
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When the Corona Virus started he quickly realized that people can turn and blame a whole race

for something you don't have any part of; therefore leading back to the title claiming that

belonging in America is conditional. Similar to Cho's case, not only is it difficult to “belong” for

Asian Americans but for all different races too. April Taylor, a woman of color, has experienced

endless obstacles throughout her life made simply because of her race. Taylor explains her idea

that “Race was always lurking somewhere to remind me that for most Black people, the

American Dream is much more of an illusion than reality.”(Taylor). This idea comes from how

society treats people of color and creates disadvantages for them; Therefore making the

American dream an illusion. Throughout her op-ed, she focuses on many different ways her race

has affected her whether it was in school or just in everyday life, and how it will always create

many hurdles in people's lives. These texts are very similar in the sense that both authors share

their stories about how their race makes life more difficult and always plays some sort of role no

matter what. Hearing people's real-life experiences with their race interfering with their lives

shows how it creates obstacles when trying to achieve the American dream throughout their

whole lives. In “I Hear America Singing” by Walt Whitman, Walt Whitman presents his idea that

American voices come together to make a song, While in “I, Too” by Langston Hughes,

Langston Hughes expresses how Black people get left out of this “song” Whitman talks about.

Whitman describes people with different jobs all coming together to have their voices create

America's song. In his poem, while he includes all these jobs he also includes them all coming

together when he says “at night the party of young fellows, robust, friendly, Singing with open

mouths their strong melodious songs.”(Whitman). In Whitman's poem, he only focuses on the

working class and the positive view of those people coming together to form America's “song”.

Although contrary to Whitman's view, Langston Hughes's ideas towards this concept are quite
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different. Hughes writes about his point of view in America's song but unlike Whitman, he's left

out of it. Hughes says “I, too, sing America. I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the

kitchen when company comes”(Hughes). Hughes expresses his grief towards being discriminated

against in America because he knows he has a voice and that voice should be heard. These texts

contrast the idea of achieving the American dream because it shows two sides. One shows how

perfect America is by talking about the white working class and the other contrasting it by

showing African Americans being left out and treated unfairly. These texts show how much your

race and the effects resulting from it, can hold you back from achieving the American Dream.

While looking at these different texts written from different perspectives it's evident that these

people sharing their stories have struggled throughout trying to achieve the American dream their

whole lives. Most of their struggles were the results of their race but more importantly how

people treat them because of it.

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Work Cited

Cho, John. “Coronavirus Reminds Asian Americans Belonging Is Conditional.” Los Angeles

Times, 22 Apr. 2020,

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2020-04-22/asian-american-discrimination-john-c

ho-coronavirus.

Hughes, Langston. “I, Too.” Poetry Foundation, Poetry Foundation, 2 Oct. 2022,

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47558/i-too.

Taylor, April. “Racism Makes a Mockery of the American Dream - Lexington Herald Leader.”

No Matter How Smart or Hard-Working, Racism Makes the American Dream a Myth for
Many Read More at:

Https://Www.kentucky.com/Opinion/Op-Ed/article249100520.Html#Storylink=Cpy,

https://www.kentucky.com/opinion/op-ed/article249100520.html.

Whitman, Walt. “I Hear America Singing.” Poetry Foundation, Poetry Foundation, 2 Oct. 2022,

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46480/i-hear-america-singing
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American Dream Essay Rubric

Skill Advanced Proficient Foundational Not

Yet
Thesis establishes a Appears in first Identifies a topic
complex claim paragraph

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis Comments:
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Includes specific, Includes multiple pieces Includes two or

meaningful, and of evidence (from 4 fewer sources
well-chosen evidence sources) that clearly
that relates to the relate to the thesis Some evidence
thesis relates to the thesis
Includes multiple pieces
of evidence in each body
Evidence paragraph

Comments:

Explains well-selected Explains how evidence Summarizes

points of comparison supports topic sentence sources
among sources and of individual paragraphs
evidence and their
connection to the Explains how evidence
thesis supports the thesis of
Analysis the essay

Comments:

Clearly explains Explains how the Little connection

relationships among texts/sources are between texts;
texts (how they related, though points difficult for the
confirm or challenge could be more selective reader to see how
each other, build on or better developed the texts are
each other, provide related
Synthesis differing perspectives, Includes multiple
etc.) sources in each body
paragraph

Comments:

No errors in MLA format Heading is correctly Some elements

formatted missing or some
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errors in MLA
Pages are numbered format

In-text citations are

correctly formatted

Works Cited format:

hanging indent,
double-spaced,
MLA Format alphabetized, starts on a
new page

Works Cited: each source

entry is in correct MLA
format
Comments:

All quotes are correctly Most quotes are correctly Shows evidence of
integrated integrated basic proofreading

Shows evidence of Follows essay

Conventions careful proofreading organization

Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments:

Emily,
Nice job on this. I think that you have a good idea about the purpose and execution of synthesis
writing, based on the fact that you described texts as similar, but also challenged yourself by
contrasting Whitman and Hughes. Some of your transitions got a little funky, but that will happen
when you are first learning this kind of writing.

All in all, I think this paper needs some proofreading. Make sure you break up paragraphs, and
follow all paper structures. That includes a thesis restatement.Otherwise, just little things here
and there that are noted above.

Grade: B+