FOURTEEN GROUND RULES FOR TALKING ABOUT RELIGION

by Rev. Paul L. Rothermel

1. Be aware of your tendencies. Intend always to be totally honest and fair. The wisdom
that comes from heaven is impartial (James 3:17).

2. Respect others and their God-given abilities. Assume that they too intend to be totally
honest and fair. Love does not think evil of others (1 Corinthians 13:6).

3. Be able to disagree without being disagreeable. Be soft on people but hard on the
problem. Love is not rude or easily provoked (1 Corinthians 13:5).

4. Seek to understand the beliefs of others and how they fit together. Agree on the relevant
questions even if you cannot agree on the answers. Love is always persevering (1 Corinthians
13:7).

5. Be as eager to see how your group is like other ones as you are to see how they differ.
Love hopes all things (1 Corinthians 13:7).

6. Reason and be open to reason. Never believe what cannot fit what you know for sure.
Love rejoices in the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6).

7. Take time to listen carefully before you speak, to reflect on what you hear, and to avoid
jumping to conclusions. Love is patient and does not push forward (1 Corinthians 13:4).

8. Always acknowledge truth, no matter who said it first, and allow the truth, not yourself,
to do the changing in other people. Love is not envious (1 Corinthians 13:4).

9. Say exactly what you mean and mean exactly what you say. Avoid rushing, or using big
or bad words that draw attention to yourself and away from the issues. Regularly check
whether you have been heard correctly. The wisdom that comes from heaven is sincere
(James 3:17).

10. Speak only what can truthfully be said in love. Love is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) and
always avoids doing harm (1 Corinthians 13:7).

11. Fully express each truth only at the right time and with the right intention. The wisdom
that comes from heaven is first of all pure (James 3:17).

12. Do not ignore or hide differences within your own group, or the possible options. The
goal is sharing the truth in love, not victory for your group. Love is not self-seeking (1
Corinthians 13:5).

13. Humbly and quickly admit your errors, faults, or difficulties with the issues, rather than
be defensive, exploit others, or bend the facts. Love is not proud (1 Corinthians 13:4).

14. Do not belittle or force anyone to defend what is not his or her own viewpoint. The
wisdom that comes from heaven is peace-loving, gentle, submissive, full of mercy and good
fruit (James 3:17).