Miércoles, 9 de marzo de 2016

A Devil Seeks the Idle and Wicked Out

PROEM

When life shows us its cards and it turns out we have lost the hand, maybe we would

have to stop and think over our life. Furthermore, there will be times we’ll want to seek ex-

cuses. Then it could be that we realize that there have been occasions —even it could be said

instants— that have turned out to be more decisive to get where we are now than we’d like.

Our lives could have been quite different if we had behaved another way. Occasions that could

have been chances of doing something, when it had been made use of them or more probably,

had been thrown them away; a friendship put to test, or maybe takes a sentimental decision.

At the end, our sins.

The problems emerged when I had been placed far away from where I belonged and

while I remained at a very unstable balance. Once I was knocked down, there seemed not to

be anybody who cares. So I went from being a sensible boy (maybe we’ll better say, a person

with common sense, as it has always been stated, and not precisely in the sense of “vulgar”,

but about something that not belonging to anybody, it´s shared by many), to be a person able

to recognize that when he feels a tingle inside that seems to want warn him off that the place

to where his thoughts want to take him it could be desirable if this product of his imagination

were not a delirium caused by necessity or by boredom, it’s better to stop and wait; to be the

unhappy unfortunate one, despised by the luck, that in the endless agony, at bad moment ac-

complishes grab any pathetic illusion in order not to deal with the unbearable reality never
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again. Because from alienation and unbearable feelings, it had arisen an emotional crutch,

with very little warning and without that I were able to imagine how it would be. It wasn’t the

alienation of madness, but from a blind hope that, after all, we don’t dare to recognize unfeasi -

ble. Psyche builds hope up in an attempt to bear ourselves by thinking about we might some-

day manage to be successful in life.

Emotional springs that were recognized as the kernel of our person’s being, have been

deactivated with undeserved contempt and unbearable humiliation; it is only left a moorland

devastated by shame, of the mind’s place that once was perceived as a retreat from where to

look at the disappointments in life without greater concern than to make bigger our knowl -

edge. The pride begins to be alienation.

Using the word ‘failure’ is in this case, like making a snapshot of a delusion of grandeur

in a headlong pursuit of nothingness. It’s too grandiose and turns out not to be applicable to

describe what is only take a bandage off your eyes to look at the false hopes you had built, un -

veiling that you cannot carry out a quest which arose from necessity and was concocted be -

tween captive emotions and unfulfilled desires. Then set in motion and enforcing it by ambi-

tion until empty the contents of a life.

As every dog has its day, as well it will come a day to us when it doesn’t fit ourselves

for such a role. We changed to adapt us to a situation that we could not change; thus we be -

came ourselves able to bear it; only that we didn't realize that in the end, the price was to

make us as bad as the situation.

But I digress.

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THE NIGHTMARE

Imagine you come across your corpse hanging from a balcony of a house under con-

struction at a sunny and lonely street at a castle´s village.

It is highly demoralizing. For example, I started to cry; but then I thought: «This is what

I get for being so introverted! I no longer see more than what my mind imagines! ». After that,

I felt bit anger: «That hanged man cannot be me! ». But as you´ll see, my crying was absolutely

justified.

You cannot take it as a threat…, I mean… I have no friends, nor miss them already. So

now that I can see me hanging there, I realize that even my Creator must have been bored

with me. In any case, how to explain this blot in His work? This careless mistake is a matter of

His exclusive jurisdiction. What sort of death does He think He has given to me?

Let´s see… What can I do not to get it worse? At least, I have to check it out. How did

the saying go? I think, therefore I am. So if I exist, I am alive…, or maybe not. If I am dead, I also

exist, but I am not conscious of it; since I am conscious of myself, I am alive. So he said: “I

think, therefore I am”.

Secondly, I can check if I have a shadow. But now that the sun is at its highest point, it

will be difficult… Perhaps I can look for a mirror, or try to see my reflection in a shop window…

But, what am I say saying! Let´s stop this nonsense!

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At that time an old woman appeared at the end of the street, a couple of hundred me -

ters where I was. In the early days of July, at three o´clock (summer timetable) in a torrid after-

noon, the houses seemed not to have anybody for living in them. The woman had turned the

corner, so that she was coming towards me along the sidewalk at the opposite hand where I

had moved in an attempt to better see the scene; that is, the sidewalk above which the baleful

balcony was at a height of about four meters.

—What on earth are you doing up there? —She scolded me while she was getting

closer. Curiously, she not only wasn´t looking at up there, but she stared at me. Under these

circumstances it would have been to be hoped she crossed herself, but she hadn´t do it. I knew

we had been losing our Christians appearances, but until then I didn´t realized there is nothing

left since long ago. Something in her being didn´t fit in with what I thought about life.

Nothing seemed to be too odd for her; whilst a bad feeling was overwhelming me.

—Do you think I have hanged myself? —I answered angrily. —Do you think …? Killing

myself? —Then I noticed that his… my… hands hung down one at each side… unleashed. I

shuddered: when someone is to be executed, he has his hands tied, for obvious reasons, in

preference behind his back. So I said apologetically:

—I just went out for a walk because I have eaten too much and I felt sick; I thought I

would find lighter after two or three miles. —The lady did not pay attention to what I´m saying:

―You don´t have to be impatient, my son. ― She tells me, without I can understand

why, and after a while of saying nothing, goes on: ―Your time will come, believe me.

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Then I think of the indifferent lady, full of years and, also, no doubt, of sorrows and

bitterness. We might think about her that she is defeated by life, displaced by youth; that she

misses the values in which she must have been educated; nay, that she is constantly pursued

by her blackest thoughts; instead of that, she not only doesn´t look particularly unhappy, but

she is strong enough to bear it all as well.

I was engrossed in these thoughts when the man appeared. He is short, middle-aged,

bald and a little deaf, too; besides, he wears glasses and a warm coat nearly completely closed.

Nothing really odd if it were not for that my home town is truly hot: About forty degrees at the

shadow when he uses to go out dressed in that way.

He is such an ordinary man that he wouldn’t attract anybody attention although his be-

havior were quite extraordinary, as if you think about, it really is. On seeing him, I believe that

the joke everybody tells when he comes up in the talk. It’s said that he’s a man who takes an

opened umbrella in one hand and a full watering can in the other one, and now and then he

stops for watering his opened umbrella which he has put it down at knees level, under the sun.

He has a particular way of addressing whatever person he speaks to, even when he is

with a group of people. He seems to look at and address not to whom he aims his words, but

to no one particularly.

—What on earth are you saying! I didn´t try to suicide. —I have to answer the man.

—All of them say that. They need to blame somebody for their own faults. —He replies

me. The lady seems agree with him. I´m getting impatient:

—You two are losers. Not me! —This is too much for them, and they leave me, the

man blushed. I do not know if because of the heavy coat or what.

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The leaves of the poplars, sparkling or duller, are silhouetted against a blue sky, no

clouds; but the air is too hot. I´m down. What have I done with my life?

I’m fully owned by the terror that arises when the sense of guilt is stung by the con-

sciousness of having committed a new fault; as it were already impossible to get away with it

from then on. Before giving up control, I try to avoid damages: «If there is a death, I must call

the police». My mind is swamped by some thoughts I cannot retain, along with others that

once and again reappear to induce me to grimace and get myself startled. Finally, I decide: «I’ll

pretend to be a naïve person…, I’ll get them to rescue me».

—¿Police? —I stutter in my mobile phone. —I don´t know what’s going on!

—Calm down. Take it easy.

—I think… A hanged man…

—I beg your pardon…

—Come quickly. It’s dangerous. I mean…, it’s in a building site. I’m at New Street. —As

this chat goes on, it seems to me that I can find the solution, so that I instantly cut off. Once

again I think I can manage to sort my life out. Then a sense of emergency takes possession of

me, but unfortunately I never could learn how to solve this kind of issues.

It looks like the works had been stopped for quite some time. There is a dumpster next

to the sidewalk under the balcony. The sidewalk is narrow and the balcony jutted out from the

façade, so the corpse hangs almost above the container. Although the site is fenced, it is easy

to find a way to access inside.

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Not quite knowing whether to escape or what to do, I find myself in what it must be

the stairs: Pieces of wooden planks have been nailed as interim steps. If the joke is on me

(which is what looks like), I had better get to the end. With care, I climb up the stairs.

At a landing before reaching the first floor, I see a cutter in not bad condition, mixed

with debris in an empty paint bucket. I pick it up. Now I´m determined to take whatever is

hanging down.

About half a meter above the level of the first floor, the man’s feet hangs over the

sidewalk while the taut rope hangs from the pulley of a small crane on an upper level.

Dragging it, I try to put an old scaffold near the edge of the building. I make sure that it

is well-balanced before climb into it. But what I mean to do is not going to be easy. In the end,

the scaffold doesn´t serve me. I don´t actually know what for is here, with gobs of cement on

its tubes. Back to the stairs, I go up to the second floor. «I´m going to cut the rope and will

worry about it later. If it falls down to the sidewalk nothing will have happened».

I pull at the rope and when I try to cut it I almost hurt myself, so I have to let it go in

such a way that starts a pendulum motion while being breaking the remaining strands. Finally

the body falls within the dumpster, through the rubble, that cushions the blow.

When I stand up —I had lain on the floor to release him—, I see the police arrive.

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—Hey, up there! What are you doing up there? Have you called the police? —Every -

thing become clear at this moment and I realize that the police can´t see the body inside the

dumpster, I couldn´t even see it.

—I have worked in a site like this… —I say foolishly.

—Get down! This is a private site. You can´t be there.

—I was trying to remember…

—Get down, immediately!

Then I notice that the two police officers had not been given any specific instruction to

attend my call; so the person who had answered the phone just told them to make sure every -

thing was all right. The taller officer stared at me. I notice that he doesn´t like me.

—Why did you get up there?

—I told you. I used to work in sites like this. I enjoyed myself. I’m quite sure you know

what I mean. You like your job, don´t you? I can see you’re a responsible police officer… —

When I was telling him these words, he blows up.

—You think you´re pretty smart, aren´t you?

—No… —I stumbled.

—Yes, I think you do.

—No…, I´m sorry… It´s just what goes through my mind, you know. —I need him to un -

derstand me. —If it flows it will be for something, I suppose… I mean… This is all what I´ve got.

All what my brain can get. Is it not the same for you?

I have nightmares about something like this almost every night.

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LOOKING FOR WORK

Since you can’t earn a living by being on the dole, in Spain you have to work.

Besides, in addition to those we have already seen, there were a few other important reasons

for me to look for work; and although a very large number of people must have shared at

least, some of them, I learnt and did all what I had to do. Even so, it was only after a too long

period of time that I could get a job interview from which, at long last, something arose. I was

in my thirties.

The door opened and I noticed a piercing gaze that scrutinized me from the

office adjoining to reception. He looked like a decisive, intelligent man. Soon, I was shocked to

see how he managed at his office. He was the pure image of competence at work; having said

that, he was always showing a contemptuous attitude.

At the interview, I told him about my work experience.

—When a work came to an end, I used to be on the dole for a while.

—I’d have never done that and I’ll never do it. — He replied me. —I prefer to pay social

security contributions. So far, I’ve always found something to let me do it.

—Ok. But, when I’m not in work…, if we cannot feed us as primitive men and live so;

that is, eating fruit picked from the trees, hunting hares, and sowing the wheat at public parks;

because the government will never allow people to do such a kind of things. Therefore it will

have to pay us for living.

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—What prevents you to live that way? You can always search through rubbish bins;

sleep on cardboards at cash dispensers, and so on… In Spain, we have a population of over

forty five million but only three hundred lynxes are left. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.

I was certainly a little nervous, but since I had already gathered enough experience in

job interviews, I realized that this time it was much more important professional competence

rather than physical appearance or the empathy. He explained me that they had a partnership

agreement with a major company that was setting up a new plant for a well-known electric

company. The object of the contract was the assignment of technical personnel for monitoring

different aspects of the works mounting, and providing that I get the contractor’s approval, we

would sign a building contract, as usual.

Thus, it was agreed an appointment for an interview in which I should pass some tests.

Regarding my interviewer, I must say this guy would soon become my closest foe. With

his trickeries which earned credibility for its utter lack of scruples of making up stories that

ruined the lives of people he got complicate my life until long after our professional paths

had split to come across never again. We had also had a sort of friendly relationship, but it

lasted not so long. Still, I have to say that by dint of perseverance, I managed to win the first

battle. When at its ending, turned out that I remained at the work site and he was who had to

go away, I could enjoy one of those moments that make good even a life of disillusions, emo-

tional deprivations and all kind of failures.

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MAKING FRIENDS

I will have been passing by this old elm, at least, since I was a kid, but just today I’ve

come across its spoiled greatness. Cleft by a lightning and half rotten inside, as which that was

described by the poet and then sung so quietly.

An elm of childhood so short that you can say it never had, nor never must have lived a

happy youth since, as can be seen, very soon it was wanted to give it shape with cruelest

methods.

Deep, rough and matted wrinkles furrow its stem completely, from down to up. After

all these lustrums, and so many dangers that have lurked it, this tree still calms us down with

the flutter of its leaves when the breeze blows in the summer afternoons. It never hid, neither

ran away from its luck. This is truly the reason for what its presence between us is so valuable.

Be that as it may, it is still here. So am I.

Very early on in the park, a red-haired girl is sitting on a bench keeping an eye on her

dog. When crossing our eyes, it seems to me that she smiles at me; that is surely because of

her cheerful, delightful appearance. I get up to go on wandering, and I wish her good day when

going by next to her. She answers me in the same way and then asks me:

—Is this the umbrella of your friend? —It isn´t the first time I see her. She is a girl with

some freckles, looking very nice. Although I´m a bit annoyed with her for what she has said, I

reply I don´t think the guy were capable of having forgotten his umbrella on a park bench. She

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nods and tells me that after all, the fool seems to have some common sense, because lately he

has shed his coat. The girl begins speaking again:

―His trousers fail to cover his ankles, leaving within sight a bumpkin's socks. —And

she adds with a grin: —To compensate, his cuffs comes to the knuckles.

—Insanity is not oddity nor to bend the rules; it is suffering.

—It may be. —She agrees.

—Sometimes it is wanted that we turn into what we are not; pretending besides, that

we should assume it as if it were our nature. For that, when time passed by and we don’t know

where we are or what we want, is because we have lost communication with ourselves. Until

we find ourselves we will do nothing.

—How interesting! —She says so, but I believe she thinks I’m a jerk. It doesn’t matter.

This girl has got me to give up my old mental game. She carries on:

―Are you a writer?

―No, but I have to recognize I’ve tried it some time.

―Really? What happened then?

―To write is much more than to join words; it is to use your head as if it were a water -

melon that you smash it against the floor to be able to get the crux of the matter.

―Ah…

―He’s in the money. He lives on his private income. The poor man, I mean.

―What then, has he won the jackpot? ―She asks me with great charm.

―He’s got an early retirement, what depending on the matter, it can be much better.

―How is it? Is that he was such a bad employee that he’s paid to stay home, away

from the work? ― She bursts out laughing to let me know that considers a joke what she had

just said, maybe even a tasteless one.

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―Well, the truth is that I’d never seen it in that way; but if you say so… Why have you

said that the man with the umbrella was my friend? I’ve seen him only once before.

―Then it must have been the day before yesterday. I saw both of you at dusk, when I

took out the dog, right here in the park. — She laughs, this time she also gives me a wink. —

You looked very lively. Then a lady joined both of you… ―I can’t remember anything of that.

So I tell her:

―But it wasn’t me.

―Yes, you were. — The music of her laughter hides any possible indiscretion: — I paid

attention to you. You seemed to me very helpful for them to explain something, which I liked it

because they were some oddball guys (above all, he). I liked your attitude… Although they

looked a bit annoyed when leaving.

I was confused; my thoughts not only worked up my nerves but locked them up as

well, and, as always that this happens to me, I felt the need to flee.

After a while, I noticed a few young trees near there, and I think to myself: «They are

valuable for what they might mean for us, we only have to give them time».

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REACHING THE PLACE

No other European country had possibly wanted to offer anything that could remotely

be compared with the lands, money, privileges, benefits and incentives of all kind that be-

tween both regional and State governments, and the bigwigs of the two of them, had handed

out in order to set up the famous multinational company in this glorious community of this an-

cient nation.

We were approaching the building site where, if all went well, we would work the next

two years. I didn’t know anybody there, neither the site. I had joined the team when the works

ran for six months. We stopped the car and got off to look at what it was turning into an indus -

trial landscape quite quickly. The place has been an enormous fruit trees plantation but the

works has spoiled everything. At that moment, we could see four or five outstanding buildings

under construction, to house heavy equipment; each one separated hundreds of meters from

the others; and many more, smaller.

The wasteland surrounding the plant was full of burrows, and you can see rabbits I

don’t think they were hares all over the place. They seemed not to have any foe.

—Have I ever told you that once I killed a hare by hitting it with a stone?

—Gosh, no! That’s amazing. — Silly of me, I used to believe what he told me, whatever

it was, until we had our first quarrel. —There cannot be many people who say that. Although

an uncle of mine caught trout, not only once but many times, in the river with his hands, using

a fern.

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—Alright, that’s very interesting indeed; but we’ll already have time to talk about it

any other time. As I told you at our job interview, here we can make money to burn, but we

have to keep working hard! We can let them breathe! We have to bring the work forward at

least two weeks. One more thing: Don’t worry about the clever girls. One of them the one

really knows is leaving soon, while the other is a newcomer novice who knows nothing and

isn’t going to have time to learn before her colleague is gone. She will be only nominally in

charge. Don’t forget I’m the boss around here! So, whatever they say, never mind, tell them

“Yes, ma’am!”— As I’ve already said, I had notice he was hardworking and intelligent, but it

was impossible to get along well with him and he did us to pass from the admiration and re -

spect to worry about his wickedness in a few weeks’ time.

At site, everyone earns his living; although… some much better than others, of course!

As everywhere, there are people who know a lot, but also who simply passed by here, indeed.

So there can be found some incompetent guys leading teams of more skilled workmen than

themselves, what sparks off grotesque situations. At the beginning and for some time, it will

seem that nobody takes notice of it; after, if the foreman is wide awake, will have a good

chance to achieve quite a good campaign without doing nearly anything.

No matter how much some legislation seemed want to combat the most perverse con -

sequences of this plague that was already outsourcing, both labour and taxation systems made

much more advantageous for any employer do so, and you'd have to be a fine analyst to un-

derstand the disadvantages that could bring to the company, not visible in the short term. Be

that as it may, although at that time, the percentage of unemployment was about 10 percent

(thus was ensured an interesting availability of labor to prevent the increase of wages), when a

skilled workman appeared looking for work on a plant under construction completely isolated

from any industrial area, as it was this one, the employer could feel the urgent need to hire

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him; even if it was just to avoid that he went with the competition (in any construction site of

some size there are always various companies doing the same kind of work on different areas

or services). And as besides, at least at the beginning of the project, money wasn't a problem,

any incorporation could be seen as highly advantageous. So if the workman was a skillful nego-

tiator, could get to firm a very good contract. Normally, the employer had to think of lots of

things, so it seemed to him a nuisance have to call acquaintances or seek in any other way,

names and phone numbers of workmen to hire. Therefore, if the candidate played well his

cards, could get much more than someone as good as him in a quieter situation.

From almost the moment that it was installed the first site hut, young technicians

hasn’t stopped to come to deliver their CVs; some of them not so young, now that I think of.

Workmen from other trades, like welders, pipe fitters, and so on, don’t need to do this

prospection work. On being the demand of this kind of workers much higher than the techni -

cians’ demand, they usually only need to phone former workmates up to enroll where they at.

For minor technicians, who are to whom that visiting tactics could turn out more useful, every-

thing is much worse. Meanwhile waterfall of subcontracting hasn’t come to its end; such an

effort makes no sense.

The vast majority of who —to put it in the jargon of the moment— «were part of the

project», weren’t on the payroll of the company. This could have serious repercussions and in

fact, it had caused more than a surprise; as the one of who discovered that he carries out a

different trade of the one which appeared written in his contract; perhaps because the com-

pany had on the payroll idle workers at their homes, but didn’t want to lay its hands on them.

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—We all want the same and we all have feelings, but not everybody can do the same

things. A guy perceives more accurately through some of his five senses the changing reality,

or has some outstanding skill; any other human ability, more developed in him than in the oth -

ers. Once it has been found the right place where to practise it, gifted persons with such en-

dowments will stand out between all of the others pretty soon. Normally people enjoy doing

what they are more gifted to do; nevertheless we aren't often aware of having a gift until life

does not give us the chance to compare ourselves to others. It’s already known: To measure

we must compare. So I say you have to find where invest this surplus of human capital; then,

besides begin to pay dividends out, you’ll get that your other skills are developed as well. —

This was the explanation for him of why people who have got a permanent job see to increase

their salaries every three years, instead of being considered they have to leave their position

to others who also want to work, for instance. As many entrepreneurs he thinks that whatever

it was what a worker may have contributed to his company, it has been paid month by month

with the salary received. Actually we could say he harassed his workmen; and referring to what

he had just told, in time we got to know that he had not taken advantage of his many years

working hard, largely due to some bad habits. He should have been reconciled with his life,

leaving dilute his bitterness in the placidity of the moments of joy; but as we could check every

time some unhappy inadvertently caused one of his outbursts, there was a lot of anger in his

inside.

The inspection service company that had hired me was bound to provide an experi-

enced man to supervise the assembly of this important part of the work, and to replace him

within 24 hours when required to do so. A portion of the contract price would become my

salary, in a much more direct way than they were ready to admit.

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The people we would have to understand with were working for: The Property; the

manufacturer of the equipment, which send staff to install it at the building site; the contrac-

tor of the work, which had signed into a service contract with the company that had hired me,

and had also outsourced the whole assembly parceled by sectors; and finally, with the workers

of the company that was going to carry on the part of the work I´d oversee.

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THE BUILDING SITE

We worked very hard, without mishaps, for more than six months; but then tensions

arose. It was quite suddenly and was due to both personal matters and labor relations. There

was who got through it, who didn’t, and who tried to take advantage of quarrels; some of

them were well paid, others were making a fortune, and there also were who didn’t under -

stand a thing.

In fact, everything was the result of the tendency to reduce the companies’ personnel

during periods of low activity. Because labor market offered highly qualified young people to

be hired for the length of works, paying them much less, they saw an opportunity to increase

profits without any risk. But as not always dressing in the latest fashion suits you, incompe-

tence finally reached those levels of decision where it should have been known who was really

necessary to carry on the good work. Moreover, as a result of the lack of personnel, people

who had treasured expertise on site began to have opportunities to rise to more comfortable

and better paid ranks, leaving their previous jobs.

In any works preformed with a minimum guarantees, besides the procedures that

manufactures recommend for the proper use of its products (it’s hoped that professionals

should know and follow them), there are procedures to be fulfilled in every task to be done.

The same professionals carry out the ones and the others, but the correct application of espe -

cially the latter is responsibility, in successive instances, of: operators, team leaders, foremen,

various supervisors, site managers, and ultimately, the subcontractor and contractor compa-

nies.

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—Good morning to everybody but to one. — He wants to make a joke about a situa-

tion that it is bound to blow up sooner or later; maybe in order to ease the tension, but as he

has a warped mind, you never know. Anyway, the joke is to pretend to be scathing, and sneer

at one does not really know who, by making also a strange but not entirely unpleasant gri-

mace.

—Good morning.

—Good morning.

I pay attention to see if someone does not answer, but no use to me: Three or four of

us don’t return the greeting, but neither can be said us to be an example of good manners. Be -

sides that, all things considered, it’s going to turn out that everyone here has a pending matter

with that man. Of course, I’ve ignored him and no lifted the sight from what I was doing. I usu -

ally greet everyone, but no one would have understood me saying hello to him. How things

have changed! Now he directs me virtually no word, feigning indifference most of the time,

and occasionally, rehearsing a contemptuous gesture allegedly directed to me, as maybe to-

day.

[I was living with them…]

With any other, when he sees an opportunity on the fly, you can bet he won’t throw it

away, because it is in his nature to be wicked, but with this guy there is something else that

made it different. Somehow, he had become the cornerstone of his wickedness, making it pos-

sible to take the leap from a threatening past, full of uncertainty, to a present in which nothing

seems to be out of reach, so he goes to look for him. He can’t withstand the temptation to do

the evil that almost always the circumstances put within the scope of his imagination when he

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is in presence of whom have already given up any idea of defense beyond expect compassion.

He had a vengeful character; and now that he could, he had become an implacable avenger.

Hidden by the bedding, the body of this ogre is a shapeless mass that has happened

unnoticed until a small but abrupt movement makes me understand how it is positioned under

the covers. Without having really come to see his face, I realize that his head is placed lower

than the pillow, so it doesn’t rest on it, and that for being lain on one side, his left shoulder

sticks out really high under the covers.

The scene gives me the feeling of an intense suffering. Being almost noon, the bed-

room remains in semi-darkness; the body position; the fact that he isn't sleeping...; besides

something else that I fail to determine, but that leads me into certainty that the man has a

great remorse fighting throughout his guilty conscience.

[…]

As every Monday almost nobody seems to be too keen on work. At dawn a Property

employee on a bucket lifter in the building that will house the power-station, has seen a steel

beam showing part of its paint layer cracked and dry. So he informs of what he thinks it’s an

unimportant scratch, to have it redo. At first he only thinks to point it out to the foreman to

have it repaired. They get along well and all goes right until now. Easy going, nobody wants

problems; so it must be.

[…]

Before the meeting between the Ownership, the main contractor, the equipment man-

ufacturer, and us, the bigwigs of my company wanted to assess the incompetence of personnel

involved. By visiting the plant and studying in situ the scope of the problem, they hoped to find

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the best possible solution, which could entail important wage cuts of those personnel. At least

they had to find the way to satisfy the manufacturer, the unique one trustworthy for the Own-

ership, which was already assessing the delays, and was also especially concerned about dan-

gers coming from equipment assembly in an environment made a mess of having to strip the

bad paint off the whole structure.

[…]

What you’ve done is as if an accused of rape tells the judge that will be truth the

charge against him, if the woman says so. Because what reasons could she has for lying when

he hasn’t seen her in his whole life.

[…]

The result of the investigation to determine who should bear the costs of such a

shoddy work, was categorical, concluding that it hadn’t been followed the instructions of the

manufacturer’s used product (a special type of paint), which exempted him from responsibil-

ity; and that the conditions under which the work had been done weren’t those required by

the rules imposed by the Property.

Although officially it was said that at the root of the whole problem was the time con-

straints motivated by tight deadlines, all over the work site everybody talked about the inexpe-

rience of those who had done the work.

Be as it May, the latter rather than the former, the responsible company, which until

then enjoyed great prestige, went to bankruptcy. It had suddenly encountered with a contract

whose small print required her, not only to repair the defective and indemnify the injured third

parties, which become involved prices far superior to the contract price, but that it applied

penalties of all kind, some of them were quite impossible to imagine by whom were not solici-

tors of the Property.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

More than a supervision failure, it was at the execution. In any case, the responsible

supervisor at that time had already been dismissed when the problem became apparent.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

A MAN AT WORK TAKES HOLIDAY

As expected, there was no one near the diesel pump. Although he knew perfectly its

handling, the civil works supervisor needed a witness, and work vehicles drivers were not good

for this, as long as what he was going to do has to become known by who should allow it and

tacitly authorize it.

—Hey! That this is only for the UTE! — But the other kept on filling the fuel tank

calmly, without paying any attention, what made him even more suspicious:

—Hey, you! Excuse me. What are you doing? — His face showed annoyance. Tension

began running high, forcing him to stand up. His attitude left no doubt already about what

would be his reaction if there wasn’t a reasonable answer. But, as it seemed, the other

thought to know the ground he walked very well:

—Watch. Look at this: They’re thirteen gallons…, fifteen…— The supervisor said as an-

swering.

—Have you got fuel vouchers? — The man asked in the end, baffled by the scrounger’s

audacity, although he had never seen a voucher of any kind at the building site.

—Fifteen and a half! That’s it. Fifteen and a half gallons, jot down. Do you know who I

am? Do you think that because I occasionally fill the tank of my car, I get paid all the problems I

have to solve for them? Do you want me to tell you where would be your company without

me? You’ll see how your boss understands it. Alright, I’m going now. It’s nearly three o’clock

and I had to have gone much earlier. I’ve got over one thousand kilometers ahead. — The lat -

ter was true. He had managed to get rid of work on that Friday afternoon to make better use

of the long weekend.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

He did what it just was to invoke and to exercise an unwritten law. The one that boasts

who not only has to give the nod to what the contractor have done, because also on many oc-

casions, has to convince the Property to accept it. This work requires cultivate relationships

based on acceptance of the respective needs, moving out of the way more difficult problems

—which are left to higher levels—, so that the work can advanced. The supervisor should not

be bothered by those who dependent on him. He was an important cogwheel for the good

progress of the works; moreover, not just talking people get through people.

Filling fifteen and a half gallons tank of his car were absolutely nothing in front of the

value of his experience and the advice he was willing to offer, without being strictly bound to

do it.

Notwithstanding, this time, the tricky rascal didn’t turn out to be so shrewd. While en -

joying his long weekend, he was notified he didn’t even bother to come back.

There couldn’t have been olive harvest this year. The ground around the trees is all cov -

ered with them; though still remain a lot in the branches, wrinkled and blackened. I get carried

away by the beauty of the landscape, to the pines and the water. Gray clouds continue covering

the sky; but during the time that the forest track allows me to look at it, a beam of light be-

tween the storm clouds makes that the tongue of water in which the swamp ends up over

there, sparkles with slight trembling.

Do you have any idea what is all about? Do you think that a mess like this can be the

result of itself? That the continent we saw can explain the contents that does not exist? Well I

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tell you that I wish it were so; but I am afraid it is not going to be. You do not have to prove

anything to anyone. Your obligation is to live your life, not save the world.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

—Because in life some win and others lose, and to lose was our lot. But we fought… re -

ally hard; for a long time; facing up calmly to misfortune… Often misled by our high hopes, so I

won’t say we didn’t have luck. Sometimes instead of think things over, we resorted to fury. We

endured what cannot be said…, we withstood. We gave all we had, and when nothing was left,

we put up with the scorn of whom hadn’t known us at the battle, that those who indeed, yes

were measured against us, they always showed us the highest regard.— The angry unqualified

technician answered.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

THE COCKFIGHT

Pulling a face, my boss had heard from the doorway what the person in charge of pro -

duction was saying about the high value of several motorcycles in his collection. It could be no-

ticed that the speaker wanted to print a tone of fair satisfaction on his chat about the magnifi -

cent original parts he had got recently; but whatever he did, it couldn’t hide a tone of unjusti-

fied condescension, which sprang from the depths of his narcissistic personality, although cer-

tainly off and on he tried it really hard.

Both were cocky, and although hardworking, in the end, very bad people but full of life

wisdom to keep up appearances. Moreover, they loathed each other from long ago; and since

one depended on the other to accomplish his job, the first seemed to believe that, to go on be -

ing a self-respecting person, didn’t have to hesitate to blame the latter of all the serious prob -

lems under the sun, and even to create them.

The fight itself would have been a very degrading show if it were not gruesome as well.

That time, they truly did their best! In fact it was only the old business of two cocks in the

same farmyard; but, what a henhouse full of tricks and barefaced lies!

It was when, on entering the huge hall where all the office work were accomplished, it

was made an almost fully innocent remark that, surprisingly, it took its toll on the hazardous -

ness of the situation, although certainly it did not much for its earnestness. Because in re-

sponse to the statement about restored bikes, to which were given finishes that neither could

even be dreamt at its manufacturing date, he hissed «so what? Someone over here never felt

so young as when he was fifty five,» which turned out to be too much for vanity of whom, in

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his fifties, was fond of motorcycles and that lately had been trying to improve his physical ap -

pearance with surgery.

Contrary to what it is usual in these cases, the fight didn’t start by shoving each other;

but, even seeing how  whatever it were what he deemed that was the meaning of the

words the already furious man by then, was getting closer, the other carried on with his

way, ignoring him, and since he was heading 225º forward in relation to his pursuer, couldn’t

realize the man’s intentions; so the strong punch in the temple that made him lurch and al -

most fall over, caught him by surprise.

Close to me, a colleague muttered some words of excitement under his breath. He

wasn't the only one; secretly much of us gloated about these outbursts of anger. The attacking

one neither swore nor cursed, only beat the other. Despite until a few moments ago, they had

pretended a mutual respect; it was quite obvious since a long time before, the bad blood be -

tween them.

The series of kicks that followed was interrupted not only by the reaction from those

present —who bewildered at the beginning, soon were delighted in watching the brawl— that

went to restrain the aggressor; but as well by the blows in return.

From «Eh, eh..., eh! » and every exclamation and interjection you can imagine —blow

goes, and blow comes—; till someone saying «Yes, yes. Hit him! » Everything could be heard

among noises from tables which were dragging and chairs that fell to the ground. What rowdi -

ness!

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

The victim of the attack struggled wildly for a while, but he stumbled, receiving then

another strong punch that made him fall in a daze flat on his back.

As it couldn’t be otherwise, the row came to the site manager’s ears, who was in his

office wondering how to recover the money that, as it began to show our payroll by then, not

so generously he had given it out at the very beginning of the works to motivate the staff.

He hurried out [of his office] to, on entering the ward, stand still looking blankly at

what was happening. Then a red alert went off inside him and he wondered how could explain

it to those who had betted on him instead of on any cunning old fox whose retirement age was

coming up soon and he doesn’t want to leave work without having swept the board in a

project like this; after all, in the end, they had achieved it was entrusted to him.

Amid the fight, with one of the guys lying on the ground, one of us who until then had

remained on the sidelines —and to whom I was watching enjoy the show without losing detail

—, being the thing sure, he encouraged himself to give an accurate kick, which being well cho -

sen aim and moment, it caused a grimace of pain in poor devil’s face, without anyone seeming

to notice his wretched action.

He had to stop the fight immediately and make sure that it wouldn’t transcend. If the

board come to know, they would never understand it; they would feel betrayed on their confi-

dence, and probably it would take a long time before they returned to entrust him another

work.

—What the hell is going on here?— He asked fiercely, forgetting his shyness over

again. Definitely it seemed that in the end he would be able to overcome it.

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

Suddenly, those involved are silent. Also the rest of those present, who have decided

to refrain from making any comment, so that, in case of their sympathies fall on whom in the

end, turns out that is not the favorite of the boss, these preferences can't be just seen in their

explanations, and thereby do not make them to lose their chances to be taken account of be-

ing part of his team in subsequent projects, and even of this one.

After waiting a few seconds to think things over —while who has suffered the assault

complains about the blow against a table, and the thug, his demeanour relaxed, seems to feel

strong enough to beat up everybody in the ward—, the site manager decides to ask them sep-

arately about what has happened. It was clear to him that something like this may happen, but

much to his chagrin, he couldn’t get rid of any of these wicked workplace rats. So that he

wants to inquire into the affair to see if there is an indisputable culprit. If that were the case, it

would be easier. Then he would be asked to leave the project and, when he refuses, he'd stay

weaker to go on fighting and without any wishes that his godfather knew anything. As it will

not be possible, he’ll have to keep their competences strictly separate —although that means

more work for himself—; besides it will be needed someone very reliable in the office to coor-

dinate them.

—Alright, it’s finished! —He shouts truly angry. At least for a few moments, he seems

to have forgotten his shyness. —No me interesan vuestros asuntos personales, vuestras cuen -

tas pendientes… —Después de poco más de diez minutos a solas con el agredido en su oficina,

ha hecho pasar al agresor sin permitir que el primero saliera. Ahora, ambos sentados frente a

él, callan. Levanta entonces lentamente, aunque no sin visible torpeza, la cabeza, intentando

fijar la mirada en quien más cansado le tiene, que claro, es también el agresor. Tampoco puede

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

evitar un ligero tartamudeo, no se sabe si por la ira o porque resurge la timidez, cuando vuelve

a hablar:

—Me tenéis mucho más que harto… Sabéis de sobra que La Propiedad no tolera estas

cosas. Así que, vosotros veréis, ignoraros mutuamente, no os habléis, lo que queráis, pero que

nada de eso interfiera en el trabajo, ¿eh? Que la documentación llegue al taller y a los jefes de

equipo íntegra y con diligencia, y que haya un feedback para los As built.

—Pues bien sabes que eso no está en mi mano… — Dice taimado el responsable del ta -

ller y de toda la producción. —Bastante he hecho ya en esta obra solventando las deficiencias

de los demás… Ninguna obra ha podido conmigo, y esta, menos. Cada obra a la que voy, obtie-

ne mejores resultados que la anterior; porque soy bueno y cada vez soy mejor, y sé cómo tra -

tar a la gente… —Mientras dice esto, el uno, desde el otro lado de la mesa, le mira como si ya

hubiera oído demasiadas veces ese cuento; el otro, su agresor, a pocos palmos a su derecha,

parece escudriñar, silencioso, los puntos fuertes de su rival, dejando entrever, por momentos,

que no está de acuerdo con lo que oye; finalmente, cuando siente que con todo lo que se ha

dicho ya poco más se puede perder, suelta una fanfarronada:

—Look. To whom said that what don’t kill him, make him stronger, I tell him that I have

not stayed alive to lick my wounds, but to kill.

—Come off it!, what a prat this man!— Such remark angers him greatly, so in a con-

temptuous tone, he adds: —I believe you. You’re capable of that and much more, not to men -

tion what you’d do after a couple of drinks!

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

My God, it has been said! He's a heavy drunker but can't stand anybody to tell him he

gets drunk. So the boss springs forward from the other side of the table to hold him, trying to

avoid a new quarrel, whilst shouts at whom just spoke:

—You bastard without handles. —He snaps at the thug. “There is no way to grab

him…,” it can be heard him hissing; but after all of them have exchanged some glances, he gets

them to calm down enough to return to their seats. Then he begins speaking again:

—Say what you have to say; but otherwise shut up and show respect for others.

After the rush, he grabs the arm of his chair Pasado el apuro, agarra con la mano el

brazo de su sillón de despacho, dejándose ir hacia atrás hasta volver a quedar sentado.

—¡Se acabó! ¡Os vais para casa aunque me cueste la obra! ¿Tengo que recordaros qué

paso la última vez? Lo que tardaron en mandarlo para casa por ponerse a discutir las reglas.

Las normas las ponen ellos, y no hay tu tía. Ni en las más altas esferas pudieron hacer nada.

¡Por mucho menos que esto! Pues mejor que no lo sepa La Propiedad. Yo estoy aquí para ga-

nar todo el dinero que pueda, y si a vosotros os da igual, a mí no. ¡Con mi dinero no juega na -

die! No voy a permitir que por culpa de nadie deje de ganar lo que ponen a mi alcance. A poco

que pueda, me cargo al que se ponga entre mí y mi dinero, que quede claro. Y ahora no os

quiero ver más aquí… Os váis adónde queráis. Mañana no quiero oír un comentario sobre esto.

No hay más… A la próxima, no me importa quién tenga la culpa, os vais los dos.

Only that he was not being very fair, only trying to make amends with the powerful.

Therefore, the other scoundrel replied with a phrase we had recently heard as an argument in

a meeting: "If you have to offend someone, always choose the most powerful."

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 Lunes, 22 de febrero de 2016

A TAINT OF EVIL

It took me quite a moment to realize who was on the phone, but I managed to which

didn’t notice it. He told me his name, that he was a welder, and also that we had been working

together four years ago.

Although the voice sounded strangely familiar to me, at first I couldn’t pair it off with

any former pal; so while tried linking the regular greetings between people who long ago not

seen with some funny stories typical of the trade, one after another, I was also mulling old ac -

quaintances over. At last, suddenly, it came to my mind his image. It was a question of a per -

son who looked like much older than he was; and although he was already a grandfather at

that time, he was certainly a young one of age. As I have already said, much younger than he

looked. I remembered he was a pretty good welder. The hard, though sometimes highly paid

trade of welder, always seemed to me the toughest work. But if you were good enough, by be-

ing you self-sufficient, you can keep away from those bastards without blemish who nail a

spear on you as if they were the riders in a bullfight, the brave of them; the rest it could be the

give you a stab in the back.

I had met him a hot summer day, in a major shipyard of the country, where —as al-

ways immersed in the pressure of completion dates— it was being built the structural support

of an oil rig to the North Sea. That day I was checking —and sweating my guts out in it— the

whole drain pipeline. I went up, through the inside, to the one of the legs’ top, more than 30

meters high; and there he was, doing his work just below the sun-drenched upper deck. I was

sweating like a pig and swear that the room temperature under our overheated roof would be

at least of 50 Celsius degrees.

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I beckoned to him, who between fumes, lifted up the screen of his welding mask.

Then, while I was gazing his folds of burnt skin and he was squinting at me, took off his heavy

gloves, and before anything else, undid his leather welder jacket enough to get a cigarette out

of his boiler suit chest pocket —«He is going to smoke!», I couldn’t believe it—, and lit it.

We talked quite a while, went over where we had been and discovered that we shared

many acquaintances, some fellow workers and no buddy.

[…]

He wanted to know if I was working at that moment and if so, whether there would be

work for him at the [building] site.

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EPILOGUE

I’m walking down through a poorly paved road plenty of potholes and loose stones. A

railway line runs beside it. There are clouds of grey and white cotton to my left, some of them

with highlights of smooth, warm glow. On the other side, almost no clouds over there, a moun -

tain massif, in illuminated steep crags that shade backwards, is trimmed in a blue pastel sky.

I stop to look. Far, the house western side, without a single opening on it, shines in the

low sun before dusk. The reflected light from the white face of the wall scarcely harms the eye-

sight. It shines so bright only in contrast to temperance of an ashen landscape that seems to

want to let overlook the last sun rays, and between shadows, think of night. In the morning it

shows a quite different personality. Several stays of this country house have facades glittering

in the morning’s light but then, when they have been gone by the shadows of dusk, become in -

visible in the distance.

I couldn’t leave to stop at this place; under the two large pine trees. One more time I

want to watch not only the shiny side wall, but to call up memories of past as well. The façade

has a door and three windows, and you can also see the roof of clay tiles peppered with

patches light brown, orange, and red. Even so this façade doesn’t get to catch my attention,

which focuses on the whitewashed gabled wall that seems to be calling me loudly. Then I can -

not help it if my emotions take charge of me.

I close my eyes a moment and go back to the path.

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After marching for a while, the calm comes over me. Everything is over. At the end I

can accept it all. My fate was sealed long before my destiny was written.

Still another mile. A little while ago I cannot see the railway line. The lengthening

shadows seem to go out to meet me… Then, at long last I find them.

—Hi, grandma! — Ana one hundred meters forward:

—Hello, grandfather! — It looks as if everybody were over here:

—Hi, there! It’s me!

No one is going to answer me. Many years ago they cannot hear me, but it is said. I

have said it loud and clear; moreover, it is the one thing I’ve done in my life.

After another bend in the road, I find the railway line again… I start to be aware of that

my greetings will remain forever waiting for their answers. For the whole eternity. But it is also

then when I can feel that it will be enough for me.

37