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To Raise Your Child to be Bilingual or Not: That is the Question

Growing up with a bilingual father and an English speaking mother, I always wanted to

be spoken to in both languages so that I could become fluent in both languages. While my

mother wanted my brother and me to grow up speaking English and my father’s native language,

Portuguese, my father did not think that growing up bilingual was important. My father worried

that if we learned Portuguese at the same time as we learned English, we would fall behind our

peers in school. It was also difficult for him to understand why his children would have such a

great interest in learning Portuguese given how much he struggled to learn English after moving

to the United States. As I grew older, I have developed friendships with several people who were

raised bilingual and I have always been jealous. For these reasons, I have always been curious

about how children who grow up bilingual are affected academically, emotionally, socially and

in other aspects of their lives.

When I was five years old, my daycare provider — a woman who spoke Tagalog who

had a husband who spoke Chinese — told my mom that I had an amazing ear for accents and a

natural talent for speaking languages. She said that I spoke with no accent, no matter the

language I was speaking. This was also something my family in Brazil had noticed when I tried

to speak to them in Portuguese. They all claim that if I heard something once I could repeat it

back perfectly. My mom has always encouraged me to pursue languages because it is a talent

that she wished she had, and an area where she believes I have great potential.

Several years ago, I developed an interest in learning American Sign Language (ASL)

and decided to start teaching myself ASL. I practiced constantly and learned a decent amount.

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In 2020 I started working at an Italian restaurant called Melo’s Pizza & Pasta. During my time

there, I had one encounter when I was able to use what I had taught myself in order to

communicate with and help a customer who was hard-of-hearing.

My mom has spoken with me for a long time about all the benefits of being bilingual and

it has sparked my interest. We continued to discuss all of the educational, social and emotional

impacts of being raised bilingual, which led me to my research question: What are the social,

emotional, psychological and financial effects on children in the U.S who are raised in dual-

language households?

There is great debate about whether growing up in a multilingual household provides

academic benefits to children or makes them fall behind their peers. But what if it causes both

outcomes? According to Atika Khurana, an Associate Professor in the Counseling Psychology

and Human Services Department at the Prevention Science Institute, in an article written in

November of 2017 called, “How Growing Up Bilingual Affects Cognitive Development”, states

that “Developmental psychologists have long been interested in the effects of growing up in a

bilingual family. Bilingual kids may have a harder time performing at the level of their peers

initially, especially if they have limited proficiency in the language of schooling. However, in the

long run, bilingualism may have a positive effect on some cognitive abilities.”

It is a common assumption that when a child is raised with two languages, their language

development will be delayed. However, research shows that this is not the case. According to

Lauren Lowry, a speech and language pathologist, the thought that bilingualism causes language

delay is a myth. “Bilingual children may say their first words slightly later than monolingual

children, but still within the normal age range (between 8-15 months). And, when bilingual

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children start to produce short sentences, they develop grammar along the same patterns and

timelines as children learning one language.”

In fact, Cara Goodwin, Ph.D. in her article “Raising Bilingual Children” in Psychology

Today in September of 2022, states that “bilingual children usually reach the same language

milestones as monolingual children. In fact, raising a child to be bilingual is known to enhance

attention and executive functioning and makes them more sensitive to social clues such as tone

of voice.”

According to Health and wellness reporter, Cory Stieg, “Adults who grew up speaking

two different languages can shift their attention between different tasks quicker than those who

pick up a second language later in life.” Research shows that bilingual children constantly switch

back and forth between two languages which improves their “cognitive flexibility,” which allows

them to consider many concepts at one time.

Speaking more than one language requires “executive functioning,” a mental process that

enables us to plan, focus attention, remember and juggle multiple tasks, allowing bilingual

children to complete mental puzzles faster than monolingual children. According to Dean

D’Sousa, a psychology lecturer, bilingual children need to rely on several different sources of

visual information, including gestures, facial expressions and mouth movements. This allows

bilingual children to adapt to more complex language environments. In a study by Dr. D’Sousa

and his colleagues determined that young children raised in bilingual homes are able to shift their

visual attention faster and more often, and that these skills carry into adulthood.

Given that language is an integral part of our everyday lives, children who grow up

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speaking one language at home and English outside of home are likely to face social, emotional

and psychological challenges.

Some people believe that children raised in bilingual households who have to constantly

transition back and forth between their native and second language can feel like they do not

belong in either culture. Victoria Hernandez, a co-worker of my mother’s and a first generation

American with parents from Mexico and Nicaragua, shared that, “Switching back and forth

between cultures is difficult. As I learned more English and spoke less Spanish, I started to feel

like I didn’t really belong anywhere – I was too Latina in the U.S. and too American in Mexico.”

She says that today, she doesn’t need to speak as much Spanish, except with her grandmother.

“My Spanish is rusty and my grandmother thinks I am very American. I feel that I’ve lost part of

my culture.” Sometimes children associate one language with certain activities and feelings. If

they are dealing with emotions they will likely speak in their parents native language, but when

they are with their friends they will speak English. For example, Hernandez explains that when

she speaks with family members about emotional topics, she will speak in Spanish, even though

they usually speak English with each other.

Kenji Hakut, a professor of education at Stanford University believes that bilingual

children need supportive structures or they will not be comfortable in either culture, which can

make them feel alienated.

Hernandez said that her mother took her everywhere so that she could translate for her.

“My mother dragged me around to doctor appointments, the DMV, everywhere. Not only was it

burdensome to always have to translate, but it was often difficult because I had to figure out how

to understand an adult conversation, using words that I didn’t know the meaning of.”

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 Ania Szczodruch, whose parents are Polish and did not speak English when they moved

to the United States, also had to help her mother translate things before her mother learned

English. She explains, “My mom relies on me to help write emails to correct mistakes,

translating in different places, and talking to new people.” In the movie CODA, they tell the

story of a hearing child born to deaf parents (CODA stands for Children of Deaf Adults).

Although not often talked about, ASL is a type of foreign language, so the social, psychological

and economic effects on hearing children of deaf adults is the same as being raised in a bilingual

household. The main character in the movie, Ruby, faces a major decision about whether to go

away to college and become independent, or remain in a small fishing town in order to help her

family run their business. The parents are very dependent on Ruby, just as Anna’s mom depends

on her.

According to Dr. Catherine E. Snow, a professor in human development and psychology

at Harvard points out that children raised in bilingual households often feel embarrassed if their

parents and culture are different.

In an article in The Washington Post in September of 2019 titled, “Why I changed my

mind about raising my child to be bilingual”, Heidi Shin shares a personal story of an experience

she had with her daughter who had been affected by the fact that she did not speak Spanish like

the other children. “[My daughter] woke in the middle of the night sobbing in what sounded to

me like gibberish. I held her and convinced her to take a deep breath. ‘I can’t understand you,’ I

said. ‘See?’ she lamented. ‘This is what it’s like when I go to school’. She was referring to what

it felt like when they spoke Spanish at school and she did not.”

Although many kids experience these downsides of learning language in school, it is

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important to recognize the contrast that is seen when being taught a language in school has a

great impact on the child and their families.

In a Washington Post article from 2022, teacher Tu Dinh shares an experience she had

with a student and his grandmother: “A personal triumph for me is seeing how dual language

education affects students’ present lives. The most impactful memory I carry is the deep

gratitude a grandmother once shared at an end-of-year celebration. She thanked me for giving

her 7-year-old grandson the ability to communicate with her. It was, she said, the first time she

was able to get to know her grandson.”

Susan Brodie, a book editor whose mother was raised in France, said that learning French

in addition to English, “...opened a new world to me.” Magda Sczcodruch, a Polish immigrant

who moved to the United States as an adult agrees: “You can have friends around the world

because when you speak only Polish there are limitations. With English you can travel around

the world, meet new people, and talk.” Sczcodruch praises the professional benefits of being

bilingual: “It’s all very helpful. This is all beneficial, the more languages you know, the more it

will benefit you in life. The world is more open to people who speak more than one language. I

used both languages for work, but if I didn’t speak Polish I would have never gotten my job.”

People who speak more than one language have more professional opportunities than

monolingual people and can increase their income. Luciana Honigman is a native Brazilian who

has lived most of her adult life in the United States. Luciana shares that, “Speaking more than

one language helped me get my dream job in the United States and made me more valuable than

my colleagues who only spoke English.”

On the other hand, Luciana faced a challenge when she returned to Brazil. “I had learned

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 all of my technical language terms in English, so when I returned to work in Brazil, I did

not know the words for my profession in Portuguese.”

Hernandez believes that being bilingual has been an asset for her professionally. “I feel

that being able to speak Spanish makes me a resource at work and helps me feel a sense of

connections to our clients and my co-workers.” But she also admits that, “Sometimes it can get

to be too much, though, when so many people from other departments rely on you to translate in

areas that aren’t part of your job.”

In fact, the demand for bilingual and multilingual (speakers) careers in the United States

more than doubled between 2010 and 2015, and in just the past three years, the number of

bilingual remote jobs increased by 30%. Consider the following: “Why It Pays to Be Bilingual”.

Bilingual Professionals.

● 90% of employers rely on employees who can speak languages other than English

● 56% of employers expect their demand for bilingual/multilingual speakers to

increase

● One-third of employers report that they are dealing with a language skills gap;

● 25% of employers say they have lost business due to lack of foreign language

skills

● 76% of customers say they are more likely to purchase a product if information is

available in their own language

● Nearly 54% of employees said that knowing another language is important in

their current position

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 ○ According to a 2016 study, employees who speak a second language can save as

many as three hours a week by avoiding misunderstandings and other problems

due to communication issues and missed cultural cues.

Being bilingual does not only improve a person’s job prospects in the United States, but it

increases their chances of being hired by a foreign or multinational company. It also increases a

person’s networking ability and allows them to see the world from a different perspective,

thereby improving their ability to communicate in today’s global economy. The internet-based

recruiting site, Indeed, states that “bilingualism is one of the most desired skills in today’s work

environment. Therefore, speaking more than one language gives you a competitive edge over

other applicants.”

Non-English speaking parents in the United States often feel embarrassment and guilt by

having to rely on their children to interpret or assist with daily life activities. Szczodruch shares

that, “I have always had to rely on my daughter to help me complete official documents and help

other people outside of our home understand me because my accent is so strong.” Her bilingual

daughter, Anna (Ania) shares her experience from her perspective: “I was just a child, but my

mother turned to me to fill in the blanks at the doctor’s office when she did not know the word

for ‘pain’. She had me translate at the grocery store when she could not find the ingredients to

cook the foods she remembered eating.”

Non-English speaking parents often feel bad about not being able to understand what is

happening with their child in school. According to Lisa Lee, Associate Director of The Parent

Services Projects has observed that, “Out of respect for the teacher, they may nod affirmatively

to comments without truly understanding what is being said.

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 According to an article by Jessica Hoang, and HyeKyeung Seung, English speaking

parents have significantly lower self-esteem than native English speaking parents.” Hoang and

Seung also noted that non-English speaking parents have significantly higher stress than native

English speaking parents due to language-related challenges.

According to Lee, parents who don’t speak English are eager to hear more information

about their child’s day at school. However, when they attend school meetings they often have to

listen to lots of English before anything is translated. Lee states, “When language barriers exist,

it is common to feel frustrated, powerless or alienated. Some parents equate lack of recognition

for their language as a lack of respect for their culture.” She also points out that parents who

don’t speak English often feel bad about not being able to understand. Some parents may choose

not to participate in school functions because their English is not good enough.

Clearly, there are both advantages and disadvantages to growing up bilingual. Nele van

Hout stated in a personal essay that, “Being fluent in two or more languages comes with a ton of

advantages. It keeps your brain young, can help your career and allows you to meet with and

understand people from all across the globe. But as with anything, being bilingual also has its

cons.” But, I believe that the long-term benefits outweigh the short-term drawbacks – especially

since 21% of children from ages 5-17 in the United States speak two languages and this

percentage is expected to increase. Victoria sums it up well, saying, “Although it was difficult

being raised bilingual when my parents didn’t speak English, now that I am an adult, I am much

more appreciative and grateful that I was raised speaking two languages.” Given my interest in

languages and everything that I have learned through this project, I am confident that I want to

pursue learning at least one more language, and perhaps pursuing a career in linguistics.

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