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THE THIRD AGE

AND ITS PREPARATION I
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Houses for
older sisters and
brothers
Jose Carlos Bermejo Higuera1

Summary. 0.- Introduction; 1.- Religious infirmaries; 2.- Towards a care model
humanized; 3.- Intercongregationality in the answers; 4.- Specificity of the experience
of religious aging; 5.- Seekers of a spirituality to be older; 6.- From Samaritans to
wounded; 7.- Life of mourners; 8.- Hope is for the present; 9.- Bibliography

religious men and women of the Catholic Church with special attention to the
R esumary The author
demographic addresses
situation the issue ofbyaging
currently experienced in the
religious life group of
in Spain.
It addresses the specificity of the experience of aging in religious men
and women, the need to find a specific spirituality at this stage of life,
with special emphasis on hope, and the need to include the element
of intercongregationality in responses

Keywords. Religious nursing, humanized care, Intercongregationality,

Specificity of aging in religious life, spirituality to be older, Christian
hope.

1 Religious Camilo.

CONFER Magazine • Volume 60 • Nº 232 • October-November-December 2021 • pp. 459-482 459

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Houses for older sisters and brothers

Abstract. The author addresses the issue of aging in the group of religious men
and women of the Catholic Church with special attention to the demographic
situation that religious life in Spain is currently experiencing. He addresses the
specificity of the experience of aging in religious men and women, the need to
find a specific spirituality at this stage of life, with special emphasis on hope, and
the need to include the element of inter-congregationality in the responses.

Keywords. Religious Nursing, Humanized Care, Intercongregationality, Specificity

of Aging in Religious Life, Spirituality for the Elderly, Christian Hope.

0. Introduction

Sooner or later, willingly or unwillingly, almost all religious

Institutes have had to think about aging and the question of care.
Most have opted for an option that reality has imposed: the need
to adapt houses and turn them into care centers, in the form of
residences or religious houses specialized in the care of the
elderly and, in particular, dependents. They are often known as
"religious infirmaries."
To keep up to date with the evolution of religious life in Spain
and the evolution of age, as well as the decrease in the number of
communities, it is enough to follow the annual report of the
CONFER, which provides comprehensive information on this
reality. In any case, there are thousands of dependent religious
people in need of personalized care, be it home or residential.

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1. Religious infirmaries

Consecrated life is well aware of the importance of caring for the

sick, as an expression of mercy and the core of evangelical values.
Some Institutes have this at the heart of their charism: Camillians,
Brothers of Saint John of God, Hospitallers, Sisters of Saint Anne, Saint
Joseph of Gerona... and others. But others clearly do not. Those
Congregations that have invested their apostolic potential in children,
in the educational context, of social exclusion, etc., find that, without
having planned it so much, they have to focus their attention on the
world of health, disease, aging, dependency, death...

Some Institutes, such as the Company of Saint Teresa of Jesus of

Fr. Enrique de Ossó, had incorporated this sensitivity at the beginning:
«His charity was also revealed in a very particular way with the sick.
He wanted the sacred vessels to be sold, if necessary, rather than put
them out of business. No matter how expensive the medicines were,
he did not notice it and said that what was necessary for the healthy
would sooner be lacking than some mercy for the sick. And she tried to
give them a bouquet of flowers, with a little bit of company if the patient
tolerated it, with an entertaining and profitable reading”2 .
All the Institutes have responded to the world of sickness in religious
life and, more recently, of aging and dependency, increased by life
expectancy and the improvement of living conditions.

A study carried out by Miguel Ángel Millán in 20173 highlights

common elements in the subject of religious infirmaries throughout
history:

2 M. Gonzalez, Henry of osso , Library of Christian Authors, Madrid 1983, 338.

3 MA Millán, Caring for older religious in dependency situation in Spain,
European University of the Atlantic, Zaragoza, 2017.

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- The need for special accommodation for the sick, located in

healthy places with good conditions for care. In this regard,
numerous investments and reforms have been made in religious
houses.
- The opportunity of a person of reference, religious, qualified, both
for his skills and knowledge and for his spirit of service to the
sick.
- The convenience of community collaboration in the care of its sick
members, even if there is a responsible nurse.

- The exhortation to the sick to live the disease as an opportunity

for spiritual growth.
- Generosity in care, regardless of expense.
- The follow-up of the indications of the professionals, avoiding the
self-medication.

- The opportune conditions of the spaces intended for care, in terms

of resources, hygiene, etc.
Starting in the 1990s, in Europe, one of the irreversible
consequences of the lack of vocations began to be clearly seen:
aging and the increase in members in a situation of dependency. It
is then that many of the religious communities become houses for
the elderly and when the custom of assigning people in need to
these "religious infirmaries" arises.

We must not hide the traumatic impact that this fact has for many
people, due to the symbolic and existential content that it acquires.
"Going to the infirmary" is closely linked to accepting dependency,
old age, the proximity of death, cognitive deterioration... Being
assigned to these centers is loaded with content and resistance,
since it has the experience of being labeled, considered already in
that key of need for care and, for some, experienced as an exclusion
from the social life of fraternal integration, for

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unless the destination is set up as a full-fledged community.

The increase in these religious communities or infirmaries

has also led to the need to include professionals from the
gerontological sector for care. Progressively, lay caregivers
have been increasing, with the consequent impact on people's
lives and on the organization of daily life.
Over time, the need always increasing, initiatives have
emerged, on demand or as an offer, to coordinate the services
to be provided in these homes, not only in the sense of direct
care, but also in what have management, with all its legal,
contractual, security implications...
Of secular or religious identity, some different foundations
and institutions are responding to this need to manage religious
infirmaries. The models are distinguished by characteristics
such as transparency, price adjustment, participation in
government bodies, caregiver training, relationships between
institutions in terms of sharing experiences and participating in
defining the models or making proposals.
At the same time that the organization of care and the
professionalization of the management of the houses dedicated
to the care of the elderly religious grows, the awareness that it
is not only a question of good will and sufficient resources, but
also a need for a model of care, referents of value, not only
legal, material, human...
The economic issue is not minor. Taking good care, in
adapted infrastructures (without barriers, with geriatric baths,
technical aids, appropriate widths...), with sufficient professionals
(health, psychology, physical care, management services...),
has a price that is not indifferent . Some calculations estimate
that it is, in any case, a little cheaper than a place in a nursing
home, with the advantage of living at home. Be that as it may,
the economic impact on religious organizations is important.
This expense is met, at this time, normally, with the

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resources from pensions (generally very low, minimal), with the

resources obtained by requests for assistance to dependency (like
any citizen, when they are achieved), and with resources of each
Congregation.
It must be said that the participation of religious in infirmaries
tends to lower costs, at least for the provision of care and some
domestic tasks that, if contracted, would entail an increase in cost.
This economic issue can also be seen in our society as a generation
of employment.
One wonders if it will not also be possible in the future for a group
of men and women religious to occupy a space in one of the
residences of another Congregation. Or several Congregations
make use of the same service by joining forces, preserving the
identity in the heart and sharing resources, both financial and
welfare, in a healthy neighborhood. I venture that it would be an
opening and enriching experience. This path seems more viable
than others that have been hypothesized, of creating residences for
religious between various institutions. We know that governance is difficult.
It will also be necessary to take steps towards allowing oneself to
be helped in the tasks of managing something even more intimate:
we have difficulties putting Superiors in some of these houses. The
religious who are active are saturated, loaded with activities and roles.
And, sometimes, the Superiors of these religious houses begin to
have the difficulties of aging itself, both physically and cognitively.
Secular rulers in religious houses, under the canonical government
of the Provincial… remains to be seen.

2. Towards a humanized care model

Caring for the sick, the elderly, at the end of life, is a challenge
combining professionalism and warmth. Science and consciousness.
Knowledge, motivations, behaviors, planning,

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Multiple competencies, also soft, are necessary to care for human frailty
and, of course, for the frailty of religious men and women.

In recent decades, the organizations that provide these services have

been working to humanize care, to implement humanized models of care, to
outline a care that wants to have, on the one hand, a domestic air, and on
the other, a residence, a center specialized in gerontological care. The high
level of dependency, the presence of multiple pathologies, the presence of
Alzheimer's... are determining variables of the houses that work between
domestic places and professionalized places.

An evolution of the model is taking place around keys that are also
fundamental. Health is thought of in multidimensional terms4 ,
not only as the silence of the body and in its biological dimension, but as a
biographical experience, of balance and also appropriation of limits, of
disabilities5 .

We also think of a humanized management model6 , where the care of

the caregiver becomes relevant, the world of quality management, technical
professionalism, but also competent relationships, the proper handling of
feelings, deliberation as key to addressing ethical conflicts, respect for
cultural diversity, inclusion of spiritual aspects as a task of comprehensive,
holistic care. There is abundant reflection on the concept of quality, quality
management and quality of life as a perceived experience, as well as quality
of care, when quality of life ceases to have values of possibility of being
cognitively elaborated by personal deterioration. .

That is why there is talk of the need for soft skills7 for management and
care in religious infirmaries.

4 F. Álvarez, health theology , PPC, Madrid 2013, 92.

5 JC Bermejo, 6 Aging in religious life.) , Desclee de Brouwer, Bilbao 2013, 25.
JC Bermejo - C. Muñoz , Manual the humanization of auxiliary gerocultores for and
geriatrics , (CoordCáritas Española, Madrid 2007.
7 JC Bermejo - MP Martinez - M. Villacieros , Humanize. humanism in healthcare ,
Desclee de Brouwer, Bilbao 2021.

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Those who seek groups that provide these management and

care services in religious infirmaries, want external entities that
charismatically breathe the passion for caring, that have
experience handling difficult situations in end-of-life care, that
know nature from the inside and idiosyncrasy of consecrated life.
Difficulties are not lacking in this world of aging in consecrated
life. Some may argue – not without reason – that the ideal is to
grow old in one's own community, and not to concentrate aging
around communities that might seem to be different seasons, of
retirement, of withdrawal. Others argue that these are one more
community, specialized, adequate to respond to the most
homogeneous needs. There are those who wonder whether to
create large communities or small units of coexistence, a
question that is also considered in the secular world. It is true
that larger centers have advantages of concentrating specialized
services and professionals of higher levels. It is also true that
small coexistence units, even though they are more expensive,
allow a life with more of a normal flavor, within what would have
been in non-welfare communities.
Less frequent are the communities that have decided that
these care homes for elderly religious are also care homes for
other lay people. It also happens in the diocesan world, where
houses for priests are often houses for relatives of priests,
especially for those who had bonds in cohabitation or care. In
any case, the experiences of open communities, mixed, let's
say, insofar as they are made up of religious and laity (and
sometimes of men and women), seem to be positive experiences.

A great humanizing challenge is that of the ideal of the center

in terms of lifestyle. The great danger is organizing resources
exclusively around basic needs, that is, that the house is clean,
that there is decent food, that the physiological needs of older
religious are satisfied: help with hygiene, etc. Here a certain
shock can occur. The same phenomenon of aging can generate
low spirits, little motivation, conformism with

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routines... while the most current and humanized models of care

contemplate the importance of sensory, cultural stimulation,
attending to the physical, the cognitive, the relational, the
emotional, the value, the spiritual. A life of stimuli improves
health, protects and reduces vulnerability, delays cognitive
decline. The balance between respect for desires, attention to
needs, inclusion of a motivating, stimulating life, without falling
into extremes, neither passivity nor stimulating or consoling
fierceness, is an art that must be embodied in each human group.
We could say, without fear of being wrong, that the humanizing
challenge of caring for elderly religious also finds resistance in
the very personality and identity of the people. It is not uncommon
to find people unaccustomed to respecting health regulations,
complying with prevention and safety instructions, avoiding
mistreatment, avoiding all possible restraints (physical and
chemical), etc. Under the pretext of freedom, being at home,
there may be a delay or resistance to truly humanizing strategies
from the advancement of civil society, scientific communities
(geriatrics, gerontology, palliative care...)

It is not infrequent that lay professionals, experts in

gerontological care, have to work in tension to achieve higher
levels of humanized care than they would reach if they followed
the indications of some superiors or coordinators of the infirmaries
who, not always being from the sector , they may have introduced
customs and practices that are totally contraindicated or
disrespectful of the dignity of people. As strange as this statement
may seem, although we proclaim the Gospel and the values of
the Kingdom, we are not vaccinated from errors in treating the
frail in our own home, nor are we always experts in the best
solutions to the challenges of human frailty . Immobility, inactivity,
nutrition, adherence to treatments, confinement in rooms to
people with deterioration, avoidable restraints, modes of
communication inappropriate to the pathology... these may be
some forms pending review to humanize care.

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On the other hand, a humanizing challenge, partly pending, to

promote the desired homelike atmosphere in these centers, is the
specific training of workers. If you really want to cultivate a feeling of
living at home and not in someone else's residence, the workers have
to know the charisma, the customs, the traditions, the keys that have
given meaning to people's lives and that are preserved in the mind
and heart as sources of value. A certain modesty or lack of initiative
or preparation to communicate these keys can contribute to attitudes
of lower expectations in relation to lay professionals, or regret for not
embodying themselves in the particular life of each group.

3. Intercongregationality in the responses

An added value in responding to this need and in the search for a

humanizing model is also found in intercongregationality.
Vulnerability and fragility have led not a few religious Congregations
to experience communion, exchange of concerns, socialization of
arbitrated responses. Meeting intercongregationally around fragility is
also making it possible to relativize the difficulties that, seen only
behind closed doors, may seem greater and more difficult to face.
The response given by the San Camilo Foundation, from the
experience of the Tres Cantos Humanization Center in Madrid, with
this relevant characteristic of intercongregational participation, with a
charismatic, humanizing dimension, with a passion for putting "the
heart in the hands", is being positive and perhaps a benchmark in the
sector.
The charism of consecrated life unites us: followers of Jesus, with
a passion for the Kingdom, with the specificity of the different
charisms, but with the common nature of consecrated life itself, which
is already a charism. Saint Bernard used to say of the different
Congregations: «I admire them all. I belong to one of them with
observance, but to all of them in charity» (VC 52).

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We could say, in the first instance, that the services that have
been united in forms of intercongregationality are united by the
"need that arises from fragility and vulnerability." But the
opportunity of communion can allow us to transform "need into
virtue" and show ourselves resilient, as a result of the exercise
of humility and the strength of walking together.
In the meetings of those responsible for the nursing units,
transparency is exercised, not only in relation to management,
but also in sharing the fragilities, the problems, what occurs in
the homes, the resistance to updating the concrete implications
of a person-centered and humanizing care model. Given this,
there is the challenge of also helping oneself to cultivate a
positive outlook enough so that the negative tone does not reign,
the result of self-criticism, since the problems are those of the
human condition...
Intercongregationality is generating relationships that build,
particularly that generate more knowledge about the ethics of
care, the implications of a model of humanized care in frailty
and centered on the person. We are discovering together – with
fatigue – even what it means to respect the dignity of our sisters
and brothers in dealings. We are also learning from the same
laws that tend to protect the rights of the people –which they
are– at whose service we see ourselves.
Intercongregationality is making us mature and reinvent our
identities. For many years we have thought about identities
based on exclusion and difference: I am me and you are you,
and it is clear that my group is different from yours. Each one,
we thought, is, above all, what distinguishes him, what separates
him from the others, and that core identity, apparently
untouchable, is in danger when we interact with others. Identities
are very clear and they are also so well defined that they do not
change over time: they have to do with essences... Today, from
intercongregationality, we can gradually discover that identities
are also built from relationality, from the culture of encounter
between same different.

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«Understood as real, affective and effective intercommunion –as

Saint Vincent de Paul would say– between various Institutes,
intercongregationality is in such a consubstantial way with the
ecclesiology of communion, that although the religious institutes were
exuberant with vocations, although the average age of the religious
was reasonably low, even though each institute could assume and
carry out on its own the multiple apostolic tasks entrusted to them...
living in a living, real, operative relationship between some religious
and others would also be an inescapable requirement of all institutes –
in times who run–, whether they are active or contemplative»8 .
Some say that everything has already been invented: ecumenism,
interreligious dialogue, shared mission, work with NGOs, approaching
non-believers and, of course, intercongregationality, as signs of
openness and relationship in the Church.

Intercongregationality, therefore, is not a mere fashion. His first

reason is not of a pragmatic or functional nature, although it is his
circumstantial motivation. The mystique of intercongregationality has
its roots in the nature of religious life, which is a way of being, of
relating, of sharing life... A productivist scheme of mission has been
able to lead us to identify religious life with certain spaces, tasks,
schedules..., to which we accept according to the roles or vital scenarios
that exist in our lives, so that our "doings" and tasks can even become
a trap to live the mission in the way of Jesus, in key of freedom.
Intercongregationality has a theological, ecclesial, missionary
dimension... linked to the fact that no one exhausts God, nor the whole
good: no people, culture, religion, institution, way of life... but rather the
Gospel and the charisms are a multicolored mosaic unfinished. No one
has their monopoly. Communion, in this sense, is an expression of
what is diverse and complementary. The opposite would be the sum of

Religious Nursing
8 JC Bermejo, Congregations. Council,
Service.
https://www.josecarlosbermejo.es/wp-content/uploads/
Meeting of those responsible for the
2019/12/2019-Salu do-Diciembre-Reuni%C3%B3nConsejo.pdf, last accessed on January
28, 2022.

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the identical, which would not reflect the creativity, communion and
solidarity of the followers of Jesus.
The document Vita Consecrata9 says : «The experience of these
years amply confirms that “dialogue is the new name for charity”,
(VC 74) especially for ecclesial charity; dialogue helps to see the
problems in their real dimensions and allows them to be tackled with
greater hope of success». Well then, that dialogue illuminates paths
of good and reinforces hope, not only the identification of the dark
areas of our belonging groups.

4. Specificity of the experience of aging in religious

One of the main crises that must be faced in middle age is the
one created by retirement. Before it, human beings react in different
ways: with rejection, as liberation, as opportunity…10 But this
phenomenon, in religious life, is particular. Normally, religious live
with the idea that, at least as religious, they do not retire.

The idea of active aging, which we have been talking about in

the WHO (2002), in the IMSERSO (2011), finds a typical expression
in religious life. Even for those who have the right to a normal work
retirement, in the religious it is usually a change of activity or of the
modality of development of the same. To this contributes the lack of
vocations and the level of responsibilities that have been
accumulating in few people, at least in those capable of carrying them out.
In this way, in many religious, the cessation of numerous activities
occurs only when situations of illness and

9 John Paul II, Vita consecrata

Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation on consecrated life and its
mission in church and in the world , of March 25, 1996, AAS 377-486, http://www.vatican.
va/content/john-paul-ii/es/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_25031996_vita-con secrata.html,
last accessed on January 7, 2021.
10 B. Good - J. Buz, Retirement time off and on old age : Mayor Portal Reports, n. 65, Madrid
2006.

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dependency, under the pretext of a vocation for service and as a way

of avoiding the crisis that the cessation of activity would entail.
It is proper, in human nature, to feel a burden for others.
others, when you stop experiencing the feeling of usefulness.
Another relevant aspect in the specificity of the experience of
religious in the face of aging and illness is how much it has to do with
the family. In times past, religious consecration involved a denial of the
family as an expression of "being dead to the world", thus building a
new form of "religious family". On the other hand, in recent decades,
the way of relating to the family has been substantially modified.

When illness and dependency reach the religious, there are families
that react in a way that sustains disengagement, and others that
become referents, if not for care -rarely-, yes for dialogue with doctors
in cases of acute processes, or for accompaniment in hospitalization or
end-of-life processes. It is not uncommon to find here some problems
related to the representation of the will of the religious, if he has lost his
cognitive abilities, when making complex decisions in situations of
advanced and irreversible disease; even more so if there was no
document of advance directives or the like, indicating who the
representative is. These types of difficulties have become increasingly
greater, since the concept of representative is hardly identified in the
Superior or in charge of nursing by the doctor who, frequently, does not
know the idiosyncrasies of the religious world.

The issue of loneliness and its negative consequences is not

indifferent11. Currently, the phenomenon of loneliness is being
considered in a special way, with a renewed sensitivity. And we
distinguish between existential, social, family solitude..., between
desired and unwanted solitude; empty solitude and fertile solitude…

11 JC Bermejo - C. Santamaria, Humanize loneliness Desclée De Brouwer, Bilbao 2022 (in press
ta).

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Even in the case of a chosen way of life –the religious– and that
entails an option for a specific form of solitude –community, but not
a partner, or children–, the experience of solitude in religious is not
annulled, even when in company within a religious community. We
are not aware of studies on this specific experience, but we feel
how many religious men and women, living in "religious infirmaries",
not having an apostolic projection, live the loneliness suffered and
the experience of emptiness, and even nonsense, at times when
increases the feeling of uselessness in relation to the mission. In a
spiritual key, there would be no shortage of those who would call
this situation a form of dark night of the soul, with echoes of
existential frustration and bitterness.
The economic level, being a common concern in many older
people, is not usually so in religious who, with community income,
income from the assets of the Institution and the Province's own
organization, respond sufficiently to the care needs , normally in
the manner and level of an average center for the elderly, in the
Spanish environment, with some exceptions.

A field of concern for some Congregations is that of the binomial

autonomy-obedience. Obedience is one of the keys to the
consecrated life, finding a particular expression in the decision of
where to live. However, the social, aging and general context
proclaims the value of autonomy, with laws that bear this name,
such as the Law for the promotion of personal autonomy and care
for people in situations of dependency 39/2006. From this key to
autonomy, care proposals defined as "person-centered" and
participatory are also derived. There are many times when these
concepts come into conflict, being resolved, to a large extent,
according to the personality of those who participate in the tension.
There is no doubt that it is an art to promote the specificity of the
experience of each individual with the search for the good in the
key of community discernment in which the Superiors play a role.

12 JC Bermejo, Aging religious life in , Desclee de Brouwer, Bilbao 2013, 38.

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5. Seekers of a spirituality to be older

Some say that we are in a moment of awakening of the spiritual, even

on the occasion of discrediting the religious.
And the secular world is showing some interest in the links between
spirituality and health13.

It is known that a healthy spirituality favors healthier lifestyles and

behaviors, with a lower risk of illness and a different attitude towards illness.

It would be expected that the larger religious group, with a strong

spiritual life, would have, as a consequence, a healthier way of experiencing
aging, dependency, illness, and death. However, it must be said that a
more virtuous, more adaptive life expectancy in the religious group can
lead to surprises.

It is obvious that being religious does not protect against psychological

and spiritual dynamisms with the connotation of emptiness. For this
reason, we find sadness, depression, aggressiveness, resistance to
adaptation, difficulty in adhering to treatments or preventive indications, etc.

Accustomed to participating in initiatives of motivation and cultivation

of spiritual life, such as spiritual exercises or other training activities, some
religious may experience these activities as a product of habitual
consumption, with less power to have a healthy impact on cognitive,
emotional and spiritual life. . An “I already know what to say, or what they
are going to say”, can lead to resistance to the absorption of spirituals.
inputs

There is no shortage of those who have not been updated in this field,
and have remained in the identification of the spiritual dimension with the
religious dimension, and this with the practices of piety. For this reason,
we can also find people for whom a life of piety does them good, but
fundamentally insofar as it is a custom that occupies a

13 JC Bermejo, Health spirituality. Diagnosis spiritual care, yy Salt Terrae, Santander,

2021.

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part of the day, a routine that marks time management. Sometimes, it

takes on particular relevance because it is around these practices that
everyday life is fundamentally organized: Lauds, Eucharist, Vespers, etc.
For many people, this practice stimulates them, as it organizes and gives
meaning to a life that, otherwise, would be more empty and occupied by
the negative sensation of dependency and illness.

There are no challenges in this field. There are communities for which
the inclusion or exclusion of religious with cognitive limits in these prayers
becomes a problem. In particular when there are behavioral changes, or
limits that prevent active monitoring and accompanied by the rhythms of
the choirs. Seeking individual and community good is, in this, as in
everything, a challenge for discernment in each situation.

6. From Samaritans to wounded

A paradoxical experience enters the life of religious: "we consecrated

our lives to take care of others and now they have to take care of us".
We define much of our being by identifying ourselves with the good
Samaritan of the parable (Lk 10) and, suddenly, we find ourselves in the
role of the badly wounded who needs to be taken care of.
Without fear of making a spiritual diagnosis, we can say that, for
religious, like every human being, aging generates crisis. Identity crisis,
questioning who we are in relation to who we have been. Autonomy
crisis, finding ourselves more dependent (in reality, always interdependent).
Crisis of belonging, seeing how we have lost personally and as a group,
in so many areas of our lives. Crisis that can become an opportunity for
resilience, human and spiritual development. But this transformation of
the dark side into opportunity is not an automatic process or one to be
taken for granted.

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We are living a “samaritanity concentration” among us. On the

way from Jerusalem to Jericho, the Samaritan met a wounded man
and arbitrated a personal and compromising response from others –
institutional – to meet his needs. Today, in our infirmaries, there is a
concentration of identification with the different roles of the characters
in the parable. It is up to us, as groups, to directly care for, arbitrate
and compromise inns and innkeepers and, in addition, recognize
ourselves as wounded.
We religious, growing old, growing old together, to the point of not
being able to take care of each other and needing outside help, we
experience numerous duels. We are in mourning. We have closed
our own works, abandoned significant presences in places, closing
communities, experiencing losses due to lost leadership roles and
management roles, such as owners and owners of buildings and
programs.
The pandemic, on the other hand, for a not insignificant time, has
made it impossible for many religious to express themselves in roles
adopted on occasion or despite aging, as volunteers.
Meetings have decreased. Some religious met with those of other
communities "at funeral blows", and we have also been deprived of
this, with its consoling value, of reinforcing identity, of communion, of
the Easter celebration, of the mysteries of faith .

For years, let it be said with respect, we entertained ourselves

conjugating verbs with the re- as a prefix: refound, revitalize,
reorganize, restructure, resignify charismatically... We have lived
giving meaning to several decades since these verbs that gave us
life, caused us stimuli, They fueled hope.
Today, consecrated life is, in part, "as in a residence", wounded.
It doesn't mean dead. This statement can be difficult to accept,
because we recognize all the life we have and because of the
objective fact of those who are still young or middle-aged. But the
provocation of this statement is healthy. We have a lot of life, but we
have suffered many amputations (houses, services) and that hurts.

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It is time to allow oneself to be cared for, to be loved, to free oneself from

assets that have no sense of mission or are not necessary to live. It is time to
become more aware of what is essential, of our option for Jesus, to live
austerely, to bear witness to the values of the Gospel, which are also
conjugated in the passive: we are loved, we are cared for, we are wanted. It is
time to recognize the value of what others do for us, just as we also recognized
the value of what we did for others, for those in need. We are wounded and
we can identify with whom the listener of the parable of the Good Samaritan
most easily identified with: the wounded man.

For decades, if not centuries, we have expanded with dynamics that are
also of a business nature: more branches, more services, more results. And
we have boasted of the “more”. As if the growth in the volume of activity were
the guarantee of the goodness of our mission and consistency with the Gospel.
This dynamic of expansion and production has lost its shine.

7. Life of mourners

It is obvious that one or the other, the Institutes run the risk of disappearing,
as stated in document 14 of 1996Life(VC
consecrated
63). And in this process, and
"shareholders" the "front-line
workers" (religious) of these organizations, we need to be cared for in a
process of end of life, of mourning. Denial can be a legitimate defense
mechanism. Accepting it does not mean giving up for dead. We are alive, we
live, we take care of ourselves, we continue to be referents (in some things),
but we are wounded.

In the spaces of mourning,

expertise
we record the changes of keywords. We went
from resignation to necessity

14 op cit .

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Jose Carlos Bermejo Higuera

of adaptation, from this to the key of acceptance. And from this to the challenge
of integrating. And today we talk about resilience, as a possibility of growth in the
midst of trauma, crisis and, for the survivor, after the crisis.

Grieving, something to which those of us who accept that we lose are called,
involves accepting the realities of loss.
We know that the average life of the Institutes is 250-350 years.
Grieving involves daring to share the feelings produced by losses, avoiding
useless guilt, self-blame or sterile self-reproach. Adapting to the new situation,
getting rid of goods, not turning our non-useful places into a source of expenses
or sanctuaries of longing, are tasks that entail mourning.

Being passionate about what is fundamental, showing our real attachment to

Jesus of Nazareth, which we want to account for with our lives, even in a situation
of dependency, is a source of hope.

The aged consecrated life, if it does not deny reality, the suffering life, has
work ahead of it. There is spiritual work to do, too. Part of the spiritual work is
gratitude for knowing how to remember, overcoming the risks of a victimizing or
catastrophic reminiscence. It is part of the work of the mourner to know how to
thank and forgive what has been lived and suffered, making that peace in the
heart that provides enough happiness to continue living15.

And it is the spiritual task of mourning to know how to celebrate and ritualize.
In Christian we also celebrate the dark face, not only on Sunday. We celebrated -
with an unparalleled pedagogy–, Holy Thursday, and Good Friday, and Holy
Saturday, not just Easter Sunday. It is possible that the consecrated life in
mourning can rescue the celebratory dimension of Holy Friday and Holy Saturday
in which, in part, it finds itself, knowing that, in any case, it is part of the path
towards Sunday that should not be anxiously anticipated.

It is the spiritual task of mourning to manage legacies and inheritances. Yes,

the materials, and the valuable ones, and the charismatic ones, and the digital
ones. A world has come to our hands, to our hearts. And a world we have to leave,

15 JC BERMEJO, The 7 spiritual tasks of grief, Desclee De Brouwer, Bilbao 2021.

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with an attitude of surrender and liberation. How good if we prepared our

spiritual testament, leaving everything! It would not mean abandoning,
disembodiing one's charisma, being reckless in the management of material
and immaterial goods, but rather preparing to die free, an end of liberation
and gratitude.

It is a spiritual task of mourning to live connected with God, signifying

the present, narrating it and putting words from the bowels to what we live.
For this reason, the same prayer, today, could come from the roots, and
not be a mere repetition of the one that served us when we were at another
time. Preserving what is fundamental, listening to the Word, our expressions
could be humanized, letting them be born from the heart that beats to the
rhythm of the present, not only from nostalgia.

It is the spiritual task of grief to creatively come out of oneself. Taking

care of oneself, letting oneself be taken care of, expressing artistically what
words cannot say, can help to live healthily the multiple mourning in which
the elderly consecrated life finds itself.

8. Hope is for the present

In some contexts of consecrated life, we have repeated many (VC 110:

life consecrated
glorious story to remember and tell,«You
but anot
great
only
story
havetothe
build!
phrase
Set your
of a eyes
on the future, towards which the Spirit impels you to continue doing great
things with yourselves". Now, it is always worth wondering if doing great
things we still think is the same as it was in the past: abundant activities. It
can be great to show the world -and ourselves- how we manage to grow
old and die, how we allow ourselves to be helped, how we show a
humanized way of losing, of being faithful, of looking at the cross as a key
of hope.

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Hope has a component of the future, yes, in addition to one of the past, as
the document showed very well, but we must recognize salvi
Spethat it is16,aof
dynamism
the present.
Therefore, we will show our hope if we succeed in making the message of
Life
consecrated :

“In fraternal life, caring for the elderly and the sick has an important place,
especially at a time like this, when in certain regions of the world the number
of consecrated persons who are already elderly is increasing. The solicitous
care they deserve is not based solely on a duty of charity and recognition, but
also manifests the conviction that their witness is of great help to the Church
and the Institutes, and that their mission continues to be valid and meritorious,
even when, for reasons of age or illness, they have been forced to stop their
own activities. in wisdom and experience to the community, if it knows how to
be close to them with attention and listening capacity. In reality, the apostolic
They certainly have much to give mission, rather than in action,
consists in witnessing one's full dedication to the saving will of the Lord, a
dedication that is nourished by prayer and penance. The elderly, then, are
called to live their vocation in many ways: assiduous prayer, patient acceptance
of their own condition, availability for the service of spiritual direction,
confession and guidance in prayer” (VC 44). .

Some people, in this world of aging, as consecrated, are beautiful. They are
beautiful witnesses of beauty, of tenderness in the relationship. They show, in
letting themselves be cared for, a kindness that lights up the world. They bring
to life the values of love, of taking an interest in the families of the caregivers.
They use resources –the mobile phone, for example–, within the possibilities,
to generate a network of tenderness towards the poorest, among whom also
the poorest, most distant communities. They are elegant in showing, through
communion in prayer, support for those who are active, in government tasks.
They show, with their trust placed in God, gratitude for the past, a kind
agreement with the present and an acceptance of the dimension of mystery
that surrounds

encyclical 30,
16 Benedict XVI, November letter
2007,
SpeAAS 99on
salvi, (2007) 985-1027;
Christian hope https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-
,
xvi/en/encyclicals/
documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20071130_spe-salvi.html, last accessed on January 28, 2022.

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everything, where we accept that God does and says the last word, without
catastrophic or apocalyptic tones, but with the joy of a life lived with meaning
every day.

Far from being a hoax, a naivety or a supposed certainty that denies

reality, hope is a dynamism that makes us be alive and active (with the
resources at our disposal) to think, manage feelings and act, as people
inhabited by Someone we definitely trust.

Growing older, individually and in groups, may be making us more open,

more supportive. What is common may be enlightening us and enriching us
with what is specific, particularly in those spaces where, on the occasion of
religious infirmaries, we meet intercongregationally and share concerns and
passions to show that dimension of universal brotherhood that unites us,
also in the religious life, above the charisms that have given us identity in
the origin.

Hope, wrote Péguy, is that little girl who makes the others advance (faith
and charity), who drags them along, although it seems that she is the little
one and that she does not paint anything. Hope is what makes the whole
world go and drags it along.

9. Bibliography

Alvarez, F. health theology , PPC, Madrid 2013, 92.

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Novemberletter
30, 2007, AAS 99
Spe salvi, on (2007) 985-1027;
Christian hope https://www.
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Bermejo, JC - C. Muñoz (Coord . .), Manual the humanization

auxiliary of geriatric
gerocultores and
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Bermejo, JC-C. Santamaria, Humanize loneliness, Desclee de Brouwer,

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Bermejo, JC, The 7 spiritual tasks of grief, Desclee de Brouwer,

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John Paul II, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation on Vita

the consecrata
consecrated life mission
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25, 1996, AAS 377-486, http://www.vatican.va/content/john paul-ii/es/
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Millan, MA, Caring for older religious in situation of

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