T h i s E d it io n consi f

s ts o one t h o us a nd and

fo rty copies of w hich one

,
t h o us a nd

a re
fo r s a le .
“
T H E

!
fSATt
EDIT E D

H
J LJ
W
W
L J
IT H

AR O LD
H

J
!
O RK S

v v
C
AN
A
W
I
WC
y

I N T RO D U

B RI G H O U S E
C
OF

f
’

T I ON
T
s g

BY
/

IN T H RE E V O LU M E S

VO L III .

LOND ON

CO N S T AB LE AN ! !
H , Li
“

;
 O W
H

NKS are d u e t o t h e Ed i t o r of the

t er G u a rdi an for p e r m i ss i o n t o re
pri n t h e re
cle s an d c ri t i c i s m s w h i c h fi rs t a
ppe are d

i n h i s c o lu m n s .
 W
CO N T ENT S

ON E AC
T PLAYS
T HE OLD TES TAM ENT AN D T H E NE

T H E DEAR DE PARTED
T H E MAS TER OF T H E H O U SE
T H E FI FTH C O MMAND M ENT
FAN CY FREE
P H I PP S

D RAMAT I CC
RIT I C
I SM

R O S ME R S H O LM

T HE RE T U R N OF PE T E R PAN

MR . M AU G H AM S ’ ‘
S MIT H
LIT T LE HANS ANDERSEN

E SSAYS AND S K E T C
H ES

MR . O V ENS

O UT O F T HE SEAS O N

O THER PE O P LE S H O U SES
’

HAWT H O RN L O D G E
viii W O R K S O F S T AN LE Y

ANN I V ERSARI ES
HAN O VER H O U SE
T H E T EASH O P
AN D O LD LETTERS
H O U GHT ON
PAG E

SHORT S T OR I E S
T H E DYING LIE

T H E TIM E O F H IS LI FE
G REY
RE V OLT OF M R . REDD Y

A NOVE L ( u nfin i s h e d)
LI FE

C AS T S OF T H E P LAY S
 T H E OLD T EST

T H E NE W
AM E N T

VO L III
. .
 T he
of D a n es b ri d e

an d w et
c
s en e

.
T H E O L D T E S T A ME N T

g
AN D

i s la i d i n t h e S
T H E NE

c ou n try t own
It i s a la t e a u t u m n e en i n g c h i lly
.

T h e s t age r e pr e s e n ts a n o ld fa s h i on e d r oom
w i th w o od en b e am s acr o ss t h e c e i li n g a n d w a lls h a lf
ou t h C
W
h sh ir
e

-
e

v ,

p a n e lle d .

v
In t h e m i ddle of t h e b ack w a ll i s a large
b ay w i n d ow t h e pan es c o e r e d w i t h d ark r ee n cu rt a i n s
, g .

g
N e ar e s t t h e s p ect a t or on hi s left i s a d oor lea di ng t o
, ,

t h e ot h e r par t of t h e h ou s e a n d fa rt h e r a w a y a lar e ,

y fi r ep la c e
gv
an d r oom In t h e b ack t o t h e r i gh t of t h e
.
,

w i n dow i s a d oor op e n i n
, i n t o a s m a ll h a ll Fr om .

t h i s h a ll t h e o u t er d oor w h i ch i s i s i ble op en s on t o t h e
, ,

s t re e t .

In t h e h a ll i s a h at s t an d w i th a coa t a cou p le of
-
,

h a ts an d a n u m b r e lla
, An old fa s h i on e d b u re a u on
.
-
,

w h i ch i s a large w orn B i b le b ook s pap e r s a n d a , , ,

g g
fi le of b i lls s t an d s i n t h e b a y w i n d ow On t h e w al l
, .

g
t o t h e r i h t of t h e s p ect a t or a lar e d r es s er s i d e b oar d -
,

b e ari n s om e o ld b lu e a n d w h i t e p ot t e ry
a n arm ch a i r
B y t h e fi re
an ot h er ch ai r a n d a s m a ll t a b le co er e d
,
.

v
v
,

gv
w i t h p ap ers b ook s p en a n d i n k
, , In t h e c en t r e of
, .

g
g
t h e s t ag e a lar e o al d i n i n g t a b le c o e r e d w i th a r een -
,

o ld , a n d b r ow n c lot h T h e h a lf n e are s t t h e d oor i s

.

s pr e a d w i th a w hi t e t ra c lot h a n d s u ppe r for on e i s

y
-
,

g
la i d . T h e r e are a p i e ce of c h e e s e a c ott age loaf b u tt e r , , ,

a kn ife a n d a s p o on a pla t e a g la s s ju
, , of w at e r an d , ,
6 T H E O LD TE S TA ME N T AND T H E NE W

a t u mb ler rr ou n d th e t a ble Agran d

T h ree ch a i rs su

W
. .

fa th er clock s t an ds a t t h e b ack on t h e left of t h e w i n dow

op en i ng T h e fu rn i tu r e i s m a h oga n y a n d h ors eh a i r
.
,

s cen e engra i ng s of L v
c omfort a b le an d w e ll u s e d T h e pi ctu re s are h u n t i ng
,

an ds eer s i n old gi lt fram e s an d

t h ere i s a fra m ed t es t i m on i a l h u ng o e r t h e m a n t e l
.

v ,

p i ece . A li g h t e d o i l la mp i s o n t h e s i d eb oar d
- an d ,

an oth er on t h e b u r e a u T h ere i s a c h a i r b y t h e d oor

.

i n t o t h e h al l .

h en t h e cu rt a i n r i s es CHR I ST O PHER a n d MARTHA

B ATTERS BY ar e i n t h e r oom

w i th a s li gh t s t oop
CHR I ST OP HER i s a
p ow e rfu lly b u i lt m an of ra t h e r u n der a erage h e igh t
H i s face i s r e s o lu t e a n d w ell li n e d
.
.

v ,

H e h as a firm j aw w i th a s m al l c los e cu t ch i n b eard

, ,
-
.

g
H i s h a i r h as b e en s an dy b r ow n b u t i s n ow n ear ly i r on ,

grey H e looks m or e th an h i s a e w h i ch i s a b ou t
.
,

s i x ty t h ree
-
H e i s s ob erly d ress e d i n a ra th er o ld
.

fas hi on ed s u i t .

MARTHA i s ne ar ly th e s ame h e igh t as h er h u s b a n d .

S h e w e ars b lack , w i th a qu a i n t cap a n d apr on . H er

h air i s o f a d e a d w h i t e, a n d h er fac e , w h i ch i s s w eet

t h ough n ot r
s t on g , b e ars a s ad e xp ress i on . S he is
i
a b ou t s xt ,
y b u t looks m ore .

CHRI ST O PHER B AT T ERS B Y i s w or k i n g at a sm al l

t a b le n fi
ear th e cc u p i e d w i t
re h a
. m aHss e is o of

p ap ers a n d b ook s a n d s e em s p u zz led MARTHA h as .

j u s t fin i s h ed layi ng t h e t a b le S h e w atch es CHR I S .

T O PH E R .

MARTHA . Yo u
’
re look i ng w orr i ed , C hr i stopher .

What s am i s s ’

CHR I S E h .

MARTHA Yo u re look ing.

’
w orr i ed .
 T HE O LD TE S T AME N T AND T H E NEW 7

CHRI S Ay I m a bit puzzled It s the s e account s ’ ’

W
. .
,

for furni shing the minister s hou s e I don t ’

.
’

W
understand them altogether .

MAR T HA P ut them by for to night E dwa rd w i ll

.
-
.

b e here s oon .

CHR I S Ay a y so he will It s pa st n i ne H e ll
.
, , .
’
.
’

b e a b le to aid me likely , .

MAR T HA N O a s if E dward would u nderstand any

.

thing ab out the chapel b ook s .

CHRI S . h y not ! H e i s a commerc i al traveller ;

he must k n ow something ab out account s .

MAR T HA Ay bu s ine ss account s n o t chapel T hey re

.
, , .
’

not the same Be s ide s t h e lad ll b e weary .

,
’
.

’ ’
Bear in mind he s comin all the way from
N ottin gham .

CHRI S S O he w i ll And hungry H ave ye got h i m

. . .

some supper ready 3

MARTHA T here s a n i ce n e w b i t 0 chee se an d som e

.
’ ’
,

s oup keeping hot i n the kitchen .

CHR I S T hat s right I want E dward to feel at

.
’
.

home when he come s here .

MAR T HA N o w let me side them papers and th i ng s

.

away I don t feel comfortab le with the plac e

.
’

so untidy .

CHRI S L et them be till I Ve done Martha ; and then

.
’
,

I 11 s ide them myself I d rather I don t k now

’ ’ ’
. .

where to look for things when y o u Ve put them tidy ’

.

MAR T HA A s y o u please
. .

CHR I S I 11 have to se e Mr D ove about the s e i n the

.
’
.

m o rn i n I doubt I m getting too Old fo r C ircu it

’
.
’

S teward .

MARTHA T OO Old i ndeed

. You re t i red to n ight ’ -
,

’
that S a ll .
8 T H E O LD TE S T A ME N T AND T H E NE W
CHR I S ( goes t o b u reau t o cons u lt a fi le of papers ) Ay
.
.
,

perhaps I a m I d a long walk thi s forenoon to

.
’

J acob Bowers .

MARTHA ( s i t t i ng b y fire ) A nd how is he .

CHRI S P oorly poorly—and the baili ff s threaten i ng

’
.
,

again .

MARTHA Ay D i d you

v
. .

CHR I S I lent h i m five pound s Martha It s a deal ’

—
.
. ,
’
0
’
money but he , s a chapel ’
member and we e
no other u se for o u r money n o w .

MARTHA D on t sa y that C hr i stopher

.
’
, .

CHR I S ( rapp i ng on b u re a u ) N o w now ! We 11 n o t

. .
,
’

t a lk Of that .

( M ARTHA s ig h s CHR I ST O PHER

. c omes b ack t o

h i s t a b le an d app li es h i ms e lf t o hi s w ork .

A s ligh t pau s e ) .

CHR I S S urely E dward should be here n o w

. .

MARTHA L ikely the train s late D oe sn t it s eem

.
’
.
’

good to have him com i ng aga i n S ometimes I

feel a s thou gh he w a s really o u r o w n so n .

CHRI S Ay he s a good lad ; though he never w a s

.
,
’

s o fond O f the chapel .

MARTHA E h but to th i nk Of what m i ght have been

.
,

i f P rov i dence hadn t ordained things otherwise ’

.

H e m i ght have been br i nging the la ss w i th

h im .

CHRI S Marth a
. We 11 not speak o f that neither
’
, .

MARTHA N O yo u never will

.
, .

CHRI S N O A nd I 11 not have you speak Of it

. .
’
.

S he s gone and sh e s n o t to be mentioned

’
,
’
.

MARTHA ( s igh i ng ) V ery well C hri stopher

.
, .

( A lo n g pa u s e MARTHA da b s h er eyes w i th
.

a h a n dk e rch i ef a n d CHR I ST O PHER w r i n k les

,
 T H E O LD TE S TA ME N T AND T H E NE W
v
9

h i s b r ow s o er hi s w ork . A kn ock i s h ear d

at th e ou t er d o or ) .

MARTHA . T hat ’
11 b e E dward .
(S h e h u rr i es t o t h e
d o or .
)
CHRI S ( look i ng u p ) Ay ( H e r e s u m e s h i s w ork )
. . . .

( MARTHA op en s t h e d oor s h ow i ng th e h all a n d , ,

t h en open s t h e ou t e r d o or ) .

( E D WARD i n c oa t a n d h at c om e s i n t o t h e h a ll .

H e i s a n ea s y c omfort a b le look i ng m an of ,
-

a b ou t t w en ty eigh t i n cli n ed t o s t ou tn es s -
, ,

g
w i t h a g ood n a tu re d w ea k an d ra t h e r re d -
, ,

face an d a s li h t san dy m ou s t ach e Al

,
.

t oge t h er h e s ee m s ra th er c omm on p lace )

W
.

E D WARD Well mother and h o w a r e yo u

.
, (S he i s ,

a b ou t t o ki ss h i m ) N O wa i t a b it My coat s .
, .
’

wet It s raining ( H e h an gs h i s c oa t on a
.
’
.

h ook i n t h e h a ll ) N o w then . .

MARTHA ( k i s s i ng h i m ) My dear lad But if your . .

’
coat s e t and it i s that it mus t n t st a y here
, ,
’
.

I ll put it b efore t fire to dry ( k i t )

’
S h e t a e s ’

W
. .

E D WARD You re very good F ather in eh

.
’
.
,

( H e e n t e rs r oo m fo llow e d b y M AR T HA ) .

MARTHA Ay he s in and a rare mess he s making

.
,
’
,
’

W
with his b ooks and papers and what not all over -

the place But it s no use talking to him

.
’
.

g
CHRI S ( r i s i ng ) N O
. Martha stop your chattering
.
, , .

Well lad so you re in D a n e sb rid e agen

, ,
’
.

( P lace s hi s h an d on E D WARD S s h ou lder )

’
.

v
E D WARD Yes But I m only here for to night
g
’
-
. . .

We e not done much busine s s i n D an e sb rid e

’

v
and trade s so b ad n o w I can t waste ’
o f late
’
,

time I e to call at B o llin w i ch P o rt S tock and

.
’
, ,

i rk ch e s t e r t o morrow -
.
10 T H E O LD TE S TAME N T AND T H E NE W

( M ARTHA p u t s c o a t t o d ry on c h a i r by re a n d
fi
g oes ou t i n t o t h e k i tch en ) .

CHRI S Well well s it down T here s a b i t o f

.
, , .
’

s upper wa i t i ng for ye
‘
H ave ye no luggage 3 .

E D WARD T here s my bag and a skip o f sample s

.
’
.

T h e O utporter s bringing them o n H e 11 be

’ ’
.

round i n half an hour o r s o .

CHRI S Ah I m ju st a bit bothered w ith the s e

.
’

chapel accounts I suppo s e ye d not car e to .

’

help me with them eh T O O tired ,

E D W ARD Well—I can t sa y I m keen o n it just n o w

.
’ ’
.

CHR I S A ll r ight all right ! I ll leave them to

.
’

night .

E D WARD You don t m i nd

.
’

CHRI S N o t a b it lad not a b it ( H e gath ers up th e

.
, , .

pap ers a n d p u ts t h em on t h e b u re a u E D WARD .

cr oss es t o t h e fire an d s t an ds w i t h h i s b ack t o i t ) .

( E n t er MARTHA ) .

MARTHA C hristopher you never thought to get that

.
,

beer i n for E dward .

CHR I S E h no
. It went clean o u t o f my head
,
.

We don t dr ink it a s you kn ow E dward ; but

’
, ,

I m a broad m i nded man I don t obj ect to it

’ ’
-
.

i n moderation Would ye lik e a bottle .

E D WARD I wouldn t mind o n e T here s not much

.
’
.
’

body i n water .

MARTHA I thought he would

. .

CHR I S I 11 run o u t to the R ose and L ion for o n e

.
’
.

E D W ARD You re very good

.
’
.

CHR I S My coat s in the lob by eh Martha

.
’
, ,

MARTHA On the hook . .

( CHRI S g oes ou t an d c los es d oor S h ort ly aft er

. .

t h e n o i s e of t h e ou t e r d oor c los i ng i s h ear d ) .

12 T H E O LD TE S TAME N T AND T H E NEW
C hr i stopher ’
s good to me —
a child s but i t ’
s
’

love I want L iving here S been like l iv i ng i n a

.
’

house without w i ndows s i nce—s i nce

E D WARD Ay . .

MARTHA S ince Mary went away T h e l ight s all

. .
’

gone o u t Of the house .

E D WARD Mr Battersby— doesn t he speak o f her

. .
’

MAR T HA N ever a word

MAR T HA N o
.

E D WARD A nd you e never heard anyt hing o f her

.
.

.
’
v .

E D WARD Ah I m sorry for yo u

.
,
’
.

g
MAR T HA It s ve r y good o f you to come and stay
.
’

w i th us when y o u v i sit D a n e sb ri d e It comforts .

me a good deal And S h e going and leav i ng .

you the week b efore y o u should have been wed

E D WARD ( gett i ng u n c omfort a b le) M yes .
’
, .

MARTHA And you loved her s o

. .

E D W ARD O h a y— I did
. .

MARTHA And yo u still love her

.

E D WARD M—well I e told yo u s o many a time

.

mother haven t I
’

’
-
’
v ,

MARTHA Ay a y But I lik e you to tell me every

.
, .

t i me lest you may have changed

,

.
— —
E D WARD VVe ll I e I e not I e not —
MARTHA A nd yo u d still marry her if she came
.
’
vv v’
’
.

’
.

b ack
( E D W ARD gr i m aces t o h i mse lf an d s cra tch es
hi s h e a d ) .

Yo u would
E D WARD T here s n o t m u ch fear o f her com i ng
.
’

b ack n o w .

MARTHA S he may I pray fo r it every day Yo u d

. . .
’

s till marry her

 T H E O LD TE S TAME N T A ND T H E NE W 13

E D WARD H aven t I told you so many a time

v
’
.

MARTHA But yo u e n o t altered

. Yo u
’
w ould
still
E D WARD ( u n c omfort ab ly) O h ye s yes yes Of cours e .
, , , , ,

mother ( H e k i s s es h er ) D on t worry abou t

. .
’

that .

MARTHA O h I m thank ful T here s j ust that

.
,
’
.
’

that s keep i ng me up still T h e chance that

’
.

S he may come b ack and live happy with you ,

and that C hr i stopher ll forgive her It s some ’

.
’

thing to l i ve for ( S h e w i p e s h er eyes ) . .

E D WARD L et s hop e so L et s hope s o mother

.
’
.
’
, .

( T h e d o or o pen s a n d CHR I S app e ars w i th a

v
.

b ott le of B ass ) .

CHRI S I e b een a long time haven t I l I met the

’ ’ “

.
,

min i ster j ust as I was coming out of the R ose and

L ion w ith the b ottle under my arm H e looked .

a b it taken ab ack so I had to stop and explain , .

H e s not s o broad minded as I am

’
-
.

( E D WARD laugh s h earti ly ) .

MARTHA D ear dear ! H ave you fastened the front

.
,

door !
CHRI S N O ; I e left it on the latch T here s
.

E dward s luggage to come yet ’

’
vN o w then .
.
’

E dward— sit down .

E D WARD I d like a b it O f a wash first

.
’
.

CHR I S Martha o ld lady E dward wants a wash

.
, , .

MARTHA ( w h o i s ju s t g o i ng ou t ) E h ! In your o ld .

room E dward as u sual

v
.
, ,

E D WARD I 11 go up then
.
’
.

MAR T HA Ye s Your soup ll be i n by you e got

. .
’ ’

down .

( M ARTHA g oe s ou t a n d E D W ARD i s follow i ng ) .

14 T H E O LD TE S T A ME N T AND T H E NE W

CHRI S E dward S he s been cry i ng I s e e

. .
’
, .

E D WARD Well a b it N othing to speak of

.
, . .

CHR I S Been t a lking O f—o f her that s go n e

.
’

E D WARD (n odd i ng ) M .
’
.

CHRI S Ah I wanted to tell yo u o n e th i ng E dward

. .
, ,

o n that subj ect and then never to speak o f i t ,

agen By right s you should have been my s o n

.

i n law at th i s moment Yo u re not and who s

’ ’
-
.
,

to blam e 9 Why my daughter— that s gone ’

—
,

to that s gone T hat be i ng so there s no

’
.
,
’

j u st cau se Why you should suffer for another s ’

s in . Me and my w i fe s comfortably Off A fter ’

.

our deaths my property 11 go to you a s by ’

,

right it should have don e i f y o u d m a rr i ed her ’

.

T hat s all
’
.

E D W ARD (s cra tch i ng hi s h ead ) It s very good o f you .

’
,

Mr Batter sb y—b u t — e r— well there s o n e thing ’

v
.
,

you ought to k now

CHRI S I want to hear nothing E dward I e told
.
, .
’

what I m set o n doing and n othing you can

’

y o u ,

tell me will alter my mind .

E D WARD Ah .
( H e s t an ds th i n k i ng p erp lexed ) , .

( E n t er MARTHA w i th a b as i n of s ou p ) .

Well I suppose I d better be washing my hand s

,
’
.

( E x i t qu i ckly ) .

MARTHA Why he s not ready n o w Well it ll

.
,
’
.
,
’

keep hot ( S h e p u ts s ou p on th e s u pp er t ab le )
.
-
.

What have y o u b een saying to him C hristopher ,

CHR I S B u s m e ss Martha that yo u wouldn t under

.
, ,
’

s tand .

MARTHA Ay ( S h e s i ts by fire CH RI S g oes t o

. . . .

b u re a u ) .

CHR I S We 11 read o u r chapter w hen E dwa rd S h ad

.
’ ’
 T H E O LD TE S TA ME N T A ND T HE NE W 15

his supper I ll fin d the place ( H e carr i es a

v
’
.

large w orn B i ble t o t h e o a l t able i n th e cen tre an d ,

p laces i t on th e h a lf wh i ch i s n ot la i d for s upper ) .

Where had w e got to

MARTHA It s the eighth chapter o f S t John to
’

v
. .

night .

CHRI S ( tu rn i ng t h e le a es ) T h e e i ghth chapter o f S t

. . .

John
MAR T HA Ye s I m so glad we re in the Ne w
. .
’ ’

T estament aga i n
’
I wish yo u would n t re ad t h e
.

O ld C hri stopher
,
.

CHR I S E h
. Why n o t
MARTHA It s n ot charitab le God w a s so cru el i n
.
’
.

the O ld T e stament It frighten s me . .

CHRI S T here w as j u st i ce done in tho s e day s When

. .

a man sinned he w a s punished God s ent h i s .

lightn i ngs and de stroyed T here s a deal too .

’

much forg i veness about the N e w T e stament .

It s eem s a tempting o f P rov i dence to read it to

s ome people .

MARTHA D on t C hr i stopher don t S urel y there s

.
’
, ,
’
.
’

forgivene ss for all .

CHRI S ( s t ern ly) N ot for some

. . .

( T h e re i s a pau s e MARTHA s i ts look i ng i n .

t h e fire an d CHR I ST O PHER fi n ds t h e p lace

,

i n t h e B i b le H e i s s eat e d b eh i n d th e
.

t a b le ) .

( S u dden ly t h e door fr om t h e h a l l i s qu i et ly
,

v
op en e d a n d MAR Y s i d les i n u n h ear d S he
i s an a tt ract i e look i n g du s k y gi rl w i th a -
, ,
.

d ow n low o e r h er t emp les v

r e b e l li ou s m ou th H er dark h a i r s weeps
H er dress h as
b een fin e on ce red an d g o ld pre dom i n ati ng
.

,
 T H E O LD TE S T AME N T AND T H E NE W
v
16

i n i t, b u t i s a b b y O e r i t s h e w e ars
n ow s h .

a loos e b lack r a i n cl oa k

v A s ligh t w ra p i s -
.

t h r own o er h er h e a d an d s h ou lders S he .

looks h aggard a n d t i mi d Aft er a fe w .

s e c on ds CHRI S T O PHER feels h e i s b e i ng

w a t ch ed H e tu rn s an d s ees MAR Y
. H e .

s t ar ts an d r i s es s low ly s t opp i n g b eh i n d t h e

v
,

t a b le T h ey look a t each oth e r )

. .

MARY ( appea li ng ly) F ather ! ( S h e m ak es a m o e

.
‘

men t t ow ards h i m H e p u t s u p h i s h a n d an d s h e
.

s t op s

girl
.
)
MARTHA ( h ear i ng t h e o i ce an d r i s i ng ) Mary ! My v .

CHRI S S top where ye are mother

.
, .

MARTHA Mary come to me ( S h e s t aggers t ow ards

.
, .

MARY CHR I S s t ap s h er )
. . .

CHR I S S it ye there ( H e p laces MARTHA i n ch ai r on

. .

t h e s i de of t h e t ab le a w a y fr om MAR Y ) .

CHR I S ( t o MARY after a pau s e ) Well

v
.
.
,

MAR Y F ather !
.

CHRI S Ye e com e back

.
’
.

MAR Y Ye s
. .

CHR I S A re ye m a rr i ed
.

MAR Y ( i n a w h i sp er ) N o . .

CHRI S Why not 2

‘

MAR Y H e —h e was marr i ed already

.

. .

CHRI S When ye went away w i th him

.

MAR Y Ye s
. .

CHRI S An d ye k new that

.

MAR Y Yes ( A pa u se CHR I S b ows h i s h ead an d

. . . .

d oes n ot sp e a k ) .

CHR I S ( at lengt h ) What have ye come back for

. .

MAR Y F ather !
.
 T H E O LD TE S TA ME N T AND T H E NE W 17

CHRI S Why didn t ye stay w ith h im

.
’

MARY H e —h e is dead
. .

CHRI S D ead

CHRI S What for

.

MARY S o I e —come back

.

.
Well
’
v .

MARY T o ask you to let me stay w i th yo u

. .

CHRI S What right have ye to a sk that

.

MAR T HA O h— father .

CHR I S ( t o MARTHA ) T ch ah
.
( T o M AR.Y ) Well .

MARY I m still your daughter father

.
’
, .

CHRI S H earken to me—and you mother T hree

.
, .

years ago I had a daughter S he w as a good .

girl I thought S he d b een b rought up relig i ou s

, .
’
,

and w e were proud o f her ( H e pa u s es a n d b ends .

h i s h e a d low e r s u pp ort i ng h i ms e lf b y res t i ng hi s

,

k n u ck le s on t h e t a b le b efore hi m H e looks d own .

a t t h e t ab le
) But we were . wrong S he w a s b ad .

underneath Ay right down wicked all through.

, ,

i n sp i te Of her b ringing u p S he d t w o good ’

-
.

parents and a young man that was fo n d o f her

, .

But sh e chose to leave them and go away w i th

a man as sh e knew couldn t never marry her ’
.

( H e p au s es aga i n ) S he made that choice and .

,

must take the consequences I s e e no way o u t .

o f it S in m u st have i ts pun i shment S he chos e

. .

to leave her home and that done sh e leaves it —

v
,

for ever .

( M ARTHA gi es a low c ry a n d b u r i es h er fac e ,

i n h er h a n ds on t h e t a ble CHRI S places h i s . .

h an d on h er h ea d t o c omfort h er ) .

CHRI S H ave ye anything to say

.

MARY I wasn t that b ad H e promised to m arry

.
’
.

me when h i s wife died sh e dra nk a n d made h i s ,

V OL III
. . B
18 T H E OLD T E S T AME NT AND T H E NE W

l i fe w retched I loved h i m truly h e w a s Very

v
-
.

good to me We e been hu sband and w i fe in

.
’

the s ight o f H e aven T hen—h e died and left .

me alone .

CHRI S H ad ye a n y ch i ldren
.

MARY No . .

CHRI S Fo r th at be thankful
.
, .

MAR Y I was s orry to leave E dward like I did But

. .

I d i dn t love him I didn t k now what love was

’ ’

u nt i l I met—h i m A nd l iv i ng here w a s s o dismal

. ,

w ith the chapel hanging over u s all the t i me and ,

I felt I mu st mak e an e ffort and be free ; get

away from i t all and go w ith the o n e I loved .

CHRI S Ah .
( A pause ) H ave ye anything more to .

say

v
MARY O nly th i s T h e money he left me i s all done
.

B u t I can t
.

I e l i ved hone stly and I e tr i ed to get work

’

I m n o t good at i t and bes i de s

’
.
’
,
’
v ,
.

people seem to he s it ate ab out engag ing me .

CHR I S Ah !

v
.

MARY D on t send me away father G ive me a

.
’
, .

’
ch ance only o n e I e done no wrong perhaps
, .

i n the s ight Of H e aven up to n o w mak i ng h i s ,

life happ i er I Ve been faithful to hi m b u t

.
’
,

i f you send me away n o w —I don t know what

’

w i ll happen to me I may become altogether .

bad
MARTHA F ather—mercy
.

g
CHR I S S he made her cho i ce to leave u s three year s
.

a o .

MARTHA F org i ve her. .

CHRI S It s not for me to forg ive her

.
’
. S he must
look h igher th an m e for forg ive n es s .
20 T H E O LD T E S TAME N T A ND T H E NE W

i
! i f sh e came back can forg i ve her—E dwa rd ll . H e
’

marry her father Will you b e gu i ded b y him 2

‘
.
,

Yo u don t rightly know what to do you sa y

’
.
,

L et h im decide F ather ! father ! L et E dw ard .

decide ( S h e s i n ks on h er kn ees b efore CHRI S

.

T O PH E R )

CHR I S E dward has always prom i s ed to marry her !

.

H ave y e prom i sed my w i fe that

E D WARD ( h elp less ly) Ye s—y e s—I have .

MARTHA Yes—h e has alway s E d w ard s not so

.
, .
’

fond O f the chapel but h e S a better man th a n ’

you father , .

CHR I S T hen I s e e my way clear T h e j udgment s

. .
’

taken o u t o f my hands It s i n E dward s If .

’ ’
.

h e 11 marry th i s girl notw i th standing her s in

’
,

then I take i t as a S ign that sh e may be for

given If n o t —sh e goe s fo r ever from beneath
.

my roof .

MARTHA Mary my g i rl you re saved ! H e s told

.
, ,
’ ’

me many a time he d marry you ’

.

CHRI S Be S ilent Martha I don t ask my daughter s

.
, .
’ ’

consent T hat sh e 11 give I take it without

.
’
, ,

quest i on ( H e looks a t h er ; s h e d oes n ot r a i se h er

.

h ea d CHR I S t u rn s t o E D WARD ) It s for you

. . .
’

to say .

E D WARD You re n o t leav i ng i t to me are y o u

.
’
,

CHR I S Ye s
. .

E D WARD But I d rather yo u d i dn t D on t put

.
’ ’
.
’

it like that F orgive the girl Mr Battersb y .

, .
,

and then we 11 s e e ’
.

CHRI S It s for you to dec i de ( A paus e E D WARD

.
’
. .

f daze d )
s t a n ds h a l -
.

MARTHA E d w ard ! .
 T H E O LD TE S TA ME N T AND T H E NE W 21

CHRI S Ma rtha
. Well my lad ,

( E D WARD d oes n ot r ep ly h e scra tch es hi s

h e ad ) .

CHRI S Ah I take it ye won t

.
,
’
.

E D WARD O h it s n o t good enough putting it like

.
,
’

this .

CHR I S Ye won t
.
’

E D WARD I can t I can t

v
’ ’
-
. .

MARTHA Ah ! ( S h e gi es a des pai r i n g cry CHRI S

. .

wh o h as b een an xi ou s ly a w a i ti ng E D W ARD S
’

d eci s i on s w ays, an d n ear ly b rea k s d ow n H e .

r ega i n s c ont r ol of h i m s e lf ) .

CHRI S Ah
. H e can t marry her I don t a sk ’
.
’

rea son s
E D WARD But I mu st—I mu st tell you why
. .

MART HA O h . A nd he alway s promised me

E D WARD I know I did and I meant it at first But
.
, .

a s time went on I thought le ss of her y o u se e, ,

Mary I mean— and—and

,

MARTHA But he always p romi sed me

.

E D WARD Ay I did I kept on promising you I

.
, . .

hadn t the heart to tell you I d changed E very

’ ’
.

time I came you aske d me and I couldn t b ear ,

’

to tell yo u no ; for I never thought Mary would

come back .

CHRI S E dward th i n k once again It s becau se sh e

.
, .
’

i s what sh e i s that you can t marr y her

’

E D WARD N O It s b ecause I was married to a girl

. .
’

in N ottingham la s t week .

MAR T HA Ah and he promised me

.
,

E D WARD You 11 not b e guided by me Mr Battersby

.
’
, .

I couldn t b e expected to wait for ever

’
.

CHRI S E dward I don t b lame you Yo u d a right

.
,
’
.
’
22 T H E O LD TE S T AME N T AND T H E NE W
to do a s you thought be st T hat finishe s it
With what happen s n o w you e n oth ing to do
E D WARD I—I d b e st go I th in k ’
,
.

’
v
.
.
.

.
,

CHRI S I think so
. .

E D WARD ( t a kes h i s c oat from th e ch a i r b y th e fire ) I m .

’

s orry about thi s ( H e c r oss es t o t.h e d o o r a n d ,

s t ops i n fr on t of M AR Y S h e d oes n ot look a t h i m . .

H e op en s t h e d oor ) Well Good n i ght all

. , .

CHR I S E dward I d like to tell y o u that thi s w i ll

. .
’

m ak e no d ifference to my will It 11 all go to yo u .

’
.

E D WARD I d a good deal rather you left i t to to

.
’ —
her .

CHR I S Good night E dwa rd

.
, .

( E D W ARD g oes ou t a n d s h u t s t h e d oor S h or t ly .

aft er w ar ds t h e ou t e r d oor c los es T h er e i s .

a long p au s e ) .

MARTHA ( i n a w h i sp er ) H e alway s prom i s ed me .

CHRI S T ha t s enou gh mothe r ( H e tu rn s an d looks

.
’
, .

at MAR Y ) .

MARY I m to go
.
’
( CHRI S b ows hi s h ea d ) . .

MARY V ery well I 11 go I came here repent in g

.
,
’
.

and want in g to be saved I might have k n ow n .

’
y o u better Mother s right w hen sh e s a y s you

W
.

go by the O ld T e stament Much good your .

relig i on will do yo u n o w I don t envy you when .

’

y o u go t o the ch apel on S unday and kn eel and say ,

F org ive u s o u r tre spa ss es Yo u mu st learn to .

’

forg ive other people s before yo u a sk for your ’

o w n to b e forgiven .

g
CHRI S T h e j udgment w a s taken o u t of my ha nd s
. .

MAR Y Y e s I 11 o A nd what to do 2 I don t care

.
,
’
.
‘ ’
.

I 11 n o t work I m n o t made fo r it h y S hould

’ ’
.

I try and be good when I s e e w hat s ort o f people

 T H E O LD TE S T A ME N T AND T H E NE W
v
23

religion makes I e enough money to t ake m e ’

b ack to L ondon — to the L ondon streets .

CHR I S Yo u r e going to damnation

.
’

MARY A nd if I am it s you as h a s sent me there

.
,
’
.

CHR I S ( t on ele s s ly) T h e j udgment w a s taken o u t of

. .

my hands .

MARY Good bye mother

.
-
, .

MAR T HA ( r i s i ng ) Mary— m y girl . C ome back .

( MAR Y op en s t h e d oor )

v
.

MARTHA O h I V e b een so lonely I want to kiss

.
,
’
.

my girl before sh e goe s ( S h e m o es t owar ds .

M ARY ) .

CHRI S Keep b ack

.

. v
MARY I e a right to ki ss her good bye
’

CHR I S Yo u shan t touch her S he is pure

.
’
.
-
.

MAR T HA Mary ! Mary ! ( CHR I S h elp s h er t o a

v
. .

ch a i r b y fire ) .

MARY Good b y e dear mother ( S h e w a e s a k i ss

.
-
, .

t o MARTHA ) .

( M AR Y g oe s o u t a n d c los e s t h e d o or CHR I S . .

goes t o t a b le an d s i ts MARTHA h as fa i n ted .

i n h er ch a i r ) .

CHRI S ( w i th i n t en se agon y) My child— m y dear child

. .

( H e b ow s h i s h e a d o n hi s ar m s T h e ou t e r d o or .

cl os e s ) ( Ra i s i ng hi s h e a d an d c on tr olli ng hi ms e lf )
. .

We ll just read that chapter together mother

’
, ,

b efore we go to rest T h e eighth chapter Of S t

. .

John s Gospel ’
.

T he C U R T A I N falls .
T H E DE D E P AR T E D
 T H E DE AR D EP A RT E D

T he scen e i s t h e s i tt i ng r oom of a s m all h ouse i n a

v
-

low er m i ddle class d i s t ri c t of a pr o i n ci a l t own

-
On .

t h e s p ect a t or s l eft i s t h e w i n d ow w i t h t h e b l i n ds d own

’
.
,

As ofa i s i n fr on t of i t On h i s r igh t i s a fi replace w i th

.

a n a rm ch a i r b i I h m i d d e a ll fac i ng
y t n t e .l o f t h e w
t h e s pect a t or i s t h e d oor i n t o t h e p a s sag e T o t h e left .

of t h e d oor a c h eap s h a bb y c h es t of d ra w ers

, t o th e ,

r igh t a s i de b oar d In t h e m i dd le of t h e r o om i s t h e
.

t a ble w i th ch a i rs r ou n d i t Or n a m e n t s a n d a ch eap

W
.
,

Am er i ca n c lock are on th e m an t e lp i ece i n t h e h earth a ,

k e tt le . B y t h e s i d e b oa rd a pa i r of ga u dy n ew carp e t
s li pp e rs T h e t a b le i s par t ly la i d for t e a an d t h e

v
.
,

n e c e ssar i e s for t h e m ea l are on t h e s i d e b oar d a s als o ,

are c op i e s of a n e e n i ng pap e r a n d of T i t Bits a n d ‘ ’

-

P earson s Weekly T u rn i n g t o t h e left t h r ough t h e

‘ ’ ’
.

g
d oor t a k e s you t o t h e fr on t d o or
In t h e p a s sa e a h a t s t an d i s i s i b le -
v
t o t h e r i g h t u ps t a i rs , .

v
.

t h e t a ble . v
h en t h e cu rt a i n r i ses M RS S LATER i s s ee n layi ng
S h e i s a i g or ou s p lu mp re d faced u lga r ,
.

,
-

g
w om a n pr ep ar e d t o d o a n y a m ou n t of s t ra igh t t alki ng
,

t o e t h e r o w n w ay S h e i s i n b lack b u t n ot i n c omp let e

.
,

m ou rn i n g S h e li s t en s a m om e n t a n d t h en goes t o
.

t h e w i n dow open s i t a n d ca lls i n t o t h e s t r ee t

, ,
.

M RS S LATER ( sh arp ly) V i ctor i a V i ctor ia ! D ye

’
. .
,

hear C om e i n w i ll you ,
30 T HE DE AR DEPAR T ED

( M RS S LATER c los es w i n dow an d pu ts t h e b li n d

.

s tra igh t a n d t h en r e t u rn s t o h er w ork a t t h e

,

t a ble VI C T O R I A a prec oci ous gi rl of t en

W
.
, ,

dress e d i n c olou rs e n t ers ) , .

M RS S I m amazed at you V i ctor i a ; I really am

. .
’
, .

H o w you c an be gall i vant i ng about i n the s treet

w i th your grandfather lying dead and cold
’
up stairs I don t k n ow B e O ff n o w and change .
,

your dress before your Aunt E l i z ab eth and your

U ncle Ben come It would never do for them to
.

find y o u i n colours .

VI C T O R I A. h at are they com i ng for ! T hey

’
haven t been here for ages .

M RS S T hey re coming to talk over poor grandpa s

. .
’ ’

a ffa i rs Your father sent them a telegram as

.

soo n a s we found he was dead ( An oi se i s h e ar d ) . .

Good grac i ous that s never them ! ( M RS S LATER

,
’
.

h u rr i es t o t h e d oor a n d open s i t ) N o thank good .

,

ness i t s only your father

v
’
.

( H ENRY S LATER a s t oop i ng h e a y man w i th

, , ,

a dr oop i ng m ou s t ach e e n t ers H e i s w e ar i ng , .

a b lack t a i l c oa t g r ey t r ou s e rs a b lack t i e
, , ,

a n d a b ow ler h at H e carr i es a li ttle p ap er

.

p arce l ) .

H ENRY N ot come yet eh

.
,

M RS S Yo u can see they h aven t can t you ! N o w

. .
’
,
’
,

V i ctor i a be O ff upstairs and that qu i ck

, P ut .

your wh i te frock o n w i th a black s ash ( VI C T O R I A .

goes ou t ) .

M RS S ( t o HE NRY ) I m not sat i sfied but it s the

. . .
’
,
’

’
best we can do till o u r n e w b lack s ready and ,

Ben and E l i z abeth w i ll never have thought about

mo urn in g y et so w e ll ou t sh ine th e m th e re
,
’
.
 W
T H E DE AR DEPARTED 31

( HE NRY s i ts i n t h e armch a i r b y th e fire ) Get your .

boot s O ff H enry ; E lizabeth s that pry ing sh e

,
’

notices the lea st speck Of dirt .

HE NRY I m wonderin g i f they 11 com e at all

.
’ ’
.

h e n you and E l i z abeth quarrelled sh e s aid

sh e d never se t foot i n your house again
’
.

M RS S S he 11 come fa st enough after her Share o f

. .
’

wh at grandfather s left You know h o w hard ’

.

sh e can be when sh e like s Where sh e get s it

W
.

from I can t tell ’

.

( M RS S LATER u n w rap s th e parce l H ENRY h as

.

b r ough t It c on t a i n s s li ced t ongu e w h i ch

.
,

s h e p u t s on a d i s h on t h e t a ble ) .

H ENRY I suppose i t s i n the family

.
’
.

MRS S What do yo u mean by th at H enry

. .
,

S later
H ENRY I w a s referring to your father n o t to you
.
, .

h ere are my slipper s 7

‘

MRS S In the kitchen ; but yo u want a n e w p ai r

. .
,

those o ld one s are nearly worn o u t ( N e ar ly .

b re a k i ng d own ) You don t seem to realise what

’
.

it s co sting me to b ear up lik e I am do i ng My

’
.

heart s fit to b reak when I se e the l ittle t rifle s

’

that b elonged to grandfather lyi ng around and ,

think he 11 never u se them again ( B r i s kly )

’
. .

H ere ! you d better wear the s e sl i ppers o f ’

grandfather s n o w It s luck y he d j u st got a ’

.
’ ’

n e w pair .

H ENRY T hey ll be very small for me my dear

.
’
, .

MRS S T hey ll stretch won t they

. .
’
I m not ,
’ ’

go i ng to have them wasted ( S h e h as fi n i s h ed

layi ng t h e t a b le ) H enry I e been th i nk ing
about that bu re au o f gra ndfathe r s that s i n
.
,
.

’
v ’ ’
32 T H E DE AR DEP AR TED
h is bedroom Yo u k now I alway s w anted to .

have i t after he died .

H ENRY Yo u must arrange w i th E l i zabeth w he n

.

’
o u re dividing things up
y .

M RS S E lizab eth s that sharp sh e 11 se e I m after

. .
’ ’ ’

i t and sh e 11 drive a hard barga i n over i t E h

,
’
.
,

what i t i s to have a lo w money grub b i ng sp i r i t -

H ENRY P erhap s sh e s got her eye o n the bureau a s

.
’

well .

M RS S S he s never been here since grandfather

. .
’

bought i t If it w a s only down here i nstead o f i n

.

h i s room sh e d never guess it wasn t our o w n

,
’ ’
.

H ENRY ( s t art led ) Amelia ( H e r i ses )

. .

M RS S H enry why shouldn t we b ring that bureau

. .
,
’

down here n o w 9 We could do it before they

come .

H ENRY ( s tup efied ) I wouldn t care to .

’
.

M RS S D on t look s o daft Why not

. .
’
.

H ENRY It doesn t seem del i cate s omehow

.
’
, .

M RS S We could put that shab by Old chest o f

v
. .

drawers upstairs where the bureau is now E liza .

’
b eth could have that and welcome I e alway s .

wanted to get r i d o f it ( S h e p o i n t s t o th e dra w e rs ) . .

H ENRY S uppose they come when we re doing it

.
’
.

M RS S I ll fasten the front door Get your coat

. .
’
.

Of f H enry
, we 11 change it ’
.

( M RS S LATER g oes ou t t o fas t en th e fr on t d oor

. .

H ENRY t ak es hi s c oat off M RS S LATER . .

r e app e ars ) .

M RS S I 11 run up and move the cha i rs o u t Of

. .
’

the way .

( VI C T O R I A appears d res se d a cc or d i ng t o h er ,

m oth e r s i n s tr u cti on s )
’
.
 T HE DE A R DEPA RTE D 33

VI C Will you fasten my frock up the back mother

.
,

MRS S I m busy get your father to do it

. .
’
.

( M RS S LATER h u rr i es u p s t a i rs an d H ENRY
.
,

fas ten s t h e fr ock ) .

VI C What have you got your coat o ff for

.
,

father
HENRY Mother and me is going to bring gran d
.

’
father s b ureau do w n here .

VI C ( afte r a m om en t s th ough t ) A re we pinch in g i t

.
’
.

before Aunt E li z abeth comes

HE NRY ( s h ock ed ) N O my child Grandpa gave it .
, .

your mother before he d i ed .

VI C T his morn i ng
.

HE NRY Yes . .

VI C Ah
. H e w a s dru nk thi s morning .

HE NRY H ush you mu stn t ever say he w a s dru nk

.
’
,

now .

( H ENR Y h a s fas t en e d t h e fr ock a n d M RS S LATER , .

app e ars carr y i ng a h an ds ome c lock u n de r

) h er ar m .

MRS S I thought I d fetch this down a s well (S h e

. .
’
.

p u ts i t on th e m an t elp i ece ) O ur clock s worth .

’

nothing and this always appealed to me

, .

VI C T hat S grandpa s clock

.
’ ’
.

MRS S C hut ! B e quiet ! It s ours n o w C ome

. .
’
.
,

V ictoria don t breathe a

’
H enry lift your end , .
,

word to your aunt about t h e clock and the

bureau .

( T h e y carr y t h e c h es t o f d r aw e r s t h r ou g h t h e

d o orw ay ) .

VI C ( t o h ers e lf) I th ough t we d pinched them

. .
’
.

( A f t er a s h or t pa u se t h e r e i s a s h arp k n oc k a t

t h e fr on t d oor ) .

VO L . III .
34 T H E DE A R DEPA R TED
M RS S (fr om u ps ta i rs )
. . . V ictoria i f that s yo u r
,
’
au n t
and uncle you re n o t to O pen the door
’
.

( VI C T O R I A p eep s t h rough t h e w i n dow ) .

VI C Mother i t s them
.
,
’

M RS S Yo u re not to Open the door till I com e

. .
’

down ( K n ocki ng rep e a t ed ) L et them knock

.

away ( T h e re i s a h ea y b u mp i ng n o i s e ) Mind v .

v
.

the wall H enry , .

( H ENR Y a n d M RS S LATER e r y h o t. a n d flu s h e d , ,

s t agg e r i n w i t h a pr e tty o ld fas h i on e d b u r e au -

c ont a i n i ng a lock ed d es k T h ey pu t i t wh ere .

t h e ch es t of d r a w e rs w as a n d s t ra i gh t en t h e ,

o rn a m en t s e t c T h e kn ock i ng i s r ep e a te d )
, . .

M RS S T hat w a s a near thing O pen t h e door

. . .
,

V i ctor i a N o w H enry get yo u r co a t o n

.
, , (S he .

h elp s h i m ) .

H ENRY D id we knock much pla ster Off the wall

.

M RS S N ever m i nd the pla ster D O I look all right

. . .

( S t ra igh t en i ng h er h a i r a t th e g las s ) J u st watch .

E li z ab eth s fac e when sh e s ee s we re all in half

’ ’

mourn i ng ( T h r ow i ng h i m T i t
. T a k e this
‘

T ry an d look a s if we d bee n
’
a n d s i t down .

wa i t i ng for them .

( HE NRY s i t s i n t h e a rmch a i r an d M RS S LATER .

left of t a b le T h ey r e ad os t en t a t i ou s ly
. VI C .

T O R I A u sh ers i n B E N an d M RS J O RDAN

v
. .

T h e lat t er i s a s t ou t c omp lacen t w om an w i th , ,

a n i mp a s s i e fac e a n d an i rr i t at i ng ai r of

b e i ng a lw ays ri gh t S h e i s w ear i ng a c om
.

p let e a n d d ead ly ou tfi t of n ew m ou rn i ng
cr ow n ed b y a gr e at b lack h at w i th p lu mes

v
.

B E N i s a ls o i n c omp let e n e w m ou rn i ng ,

w i th black g lo es an d a b a n d r ou n d h i s h at .
36 T H E DE A R DEPA R TED
M RS J. . F or myself i t s such a rel i ef to get
NO !
’

into the black An d n o w perhap s you ll tell u s .

’

all ab out i t What d i d the doctor s ay

.

M RS S O h he S not been near yet

. .
,
’
.

M RS J Not been near

. .

B E N ( i n t h e s am e b reath ) D i dn t you s end for h i m at

’
.

once
M RS S O f course I d i d D O you take me for a
. . .

fool I sent H enry at onc e for D r P r ingle but

'
.
,

h e w as out .

B EN You
. should have gone for another . Eh ,

E li z a
M RS J O h yes It s a fatal mistake
. . .
’
.

M RS S P ringle attended him when he was al i ve

. .
,

an d P ringle
hall attend him when he s dead ’
s .

T hat s professional etiquette

’
.

B EN Well you know your own busine s s be st but

.
, ,

M RS J Yes— it s a fatal mi stake

. .
’
.

M RS S D on t talk so silly E li z abeth What good

. .
’
, .

could a doctor have done

M RS J L ook at the many case s o f pers on s being
. .

restored to life ho u rs after they were thought

v
’
to be gone .

H ENRY T hat S when they e b een drowned Your

.
’ ’
.

father wasn t drowned E li z ab eth ’

, .

BE N ( h u m or ou s ly) T here wasn t much fear o f that

’
. .

If there w a s o n e th i ng h e couldn t bear i t w a s ’

w ater .

( H e la ug hs b u t n o on e e lse d oes ) , .

g
M RS J ( pa i n ed ) Ben
. .
( B E N i s cru s h ed at on ce )
. .

M RS S ( p i qu ed ) I m sure he washed re u lar enough

. . .
’
.

M RS J If he did take a drop too much at t i mes

. .
,

w e 11 not dwell o n that n o w

’
, .
 T H E DE A R DEPA RTED 37

MRS S Father had b een merry this morning

. . . H e

went o u t soon after b reak fast to pay his in suran ce .

B EN My word it s a good thing he did

’
. .
,

MRS J H e always was thoughtful i n that way

. . .

H e was t o o honoura b le to have gone without

paying h i s premium .

MRS S Well he must have gone round to the Ring

. .
,

’
O Bells afterwards
-
fo r he came in as merry a s ,

a sandboy I says We r e only waiting H enry

.
,
’

D inner
’
to start dinner he says I do n t ,
’
,

want no dinner I m go i ng to bed ,

’

BE N ( s h a ki ng h i s h e a d ) A h D ear dear .
, .

HENRY And when I came i n I found him U ndressed

.

sure enough a n d snug in b e d ( H e r i s es an d .

s t an ds on t h e h ear th rug ) .

MRS J ( d efin i t e ly) Yes h e d had a warn ing

. . .
,
’
.
’

I m sure o f that D id he k now y o u

’
.

HENRY Yes H e spok e to me

. . .

MRS J D id he s ay he d had a warn ing

. .
’

HENRY N O H e said
. . H enry would y o u m i nd , ,

taking my boots O ff I forgot b efore I got into

bed .
’

g
MRS J H e must have b een wanderin g
. . .

HENRY N O he d o t em o n all right

.
,
’ ’
.

MRS S And when we d finished dinner I thought

. .
’

I d take up a b it Of something o n a tray H e

’
.

was lying there fo r all the world as if he was

asleep s o I put the tray down on the b ureau
—
,

( c orr e ct i n g h e r s e f)
l o n the chest Of drawer s and
went to waken him ( A pau s e ) H e w a s qu ite . .

cold .

HENRY T hen I heard Amelia c all ing for me and I

. ,

ran upstairs .
38 T H E DE AR DEPAR TED
M RS S O f course we could do noth ing
. .
.

M RS J H e was gone
. .

H ENRY T here wasn t any doubt

.
’
.

M RS J I always knew he d go sudden i n the end

. .
’
.

( A pa u se ; t h ey w i pe t h e i r e yes a n d s n ijf b ac k
t ears .
)
M RS S ( r i s i ng b r i s k ly
. . at lengt h in a b us i n es s li ke
t on e ) Well will you go up and look at h i m n o w
.
, ,

o r shall we have tea

M RS J What do you say Ben

v
. . ,

B EN I m not particular
’
. .

M RS J ( s ur eyi ng t h e t a b le) Well then i f the k ettle s

. . .
,
’

nearly ready we may as well have tea first .

( M RS S LATER p u t
. s t h e k e t t le on t h e fir e a n d g e ts

t ea rea dy ) .

H ENRY O ne thing we may as well dec i d e n o w the

.

announcement i n the paper s .

M RS J I was th i nk ing o f that What w ou ld yo u

. . .

put
M RS S At the res i dence o f h is dau ghter 23 5 Upper
C
. .
,

o rn b a n k S treet etc , .

H ENRY Yo u wouldn t care for a b i t o f poetry

.
’

M RS J I like N ever F orgotten

. . It s refined .
’ ’
.

H ENRY Yes b u t it s rather s oon fo r that

.
,
’
.

B EN Yo u couldn t very well have forgot h i m t h e

’
.

day after .

M RS S I alway s fan c y A loving hu sba n d a k i nd

. .
,

father and a faithful friend

, .
’

B E N ( d ou b tfu lly) D O y o u think that s r i ght

.
’

H ENRY I don t think i t matters w hether i t s r ight

.
’ ’

o r not .

M RS J N o it s more for the loo k o f t h e th i n g

v
’
. .
, .

H ENRY I saw a vers e in t h e E en i ng N e ws ye ster

.
 T H E DE A R DEP AR TE D 39

day . P roper poetry it was . It rhymed .

( H e

W
g e ts th e pap er an d r e a ds )
D espised
Bu t t h e
an d fo r g
o t t en b y some you m ay b e
spo t t hat c on t ains you is sa c red t o we
,

.
’

MRS J Yo u don t S acred

’
. . T hat ’
ll never do . sa y
’
to w e .

HENRY It s i n the paper

.
’
.

MRS S Yo u wouldn t say it i f yo u were spe ak i ng

. .
’

properly but it s different in poetry ,

’
.

H ENRY P oetic licence you know

.
, .

M RS J N O that 11 never do
. . e want a ver s e
,
’
.

that say s how much we loved him and refer s to

v
,

all his good qualitie s and say s what a heavy lo s s ,

’
we e had .

M RS S Yo u want a w ho le poem T hat 11 co st a

. . .
’

good lot .

M RS J Well we 11 th in k ab out it after tea and

. .
,
’
,

then w e 11 look through his bit s o f th in g s and

’

make a list o f them T here s all the fu rn iture .

’

in his room .

HE NRY T here s no j ewellery o r valuab le s o f that

.
’

sort .

M RS J E xcept his gold watch H e prom i sed that

. . .

to o u r Jimmy
M RS S P romised your Jimmy ! I never he ard o f
. .

that .

MRS J O h but he did Amelia when he w a s l iv ing

. .
, , ,

with us H e was very fond o f Jimmy . .

M RS S Well ( Am azed ) I don t know

. . .
’

B EN A nyhow there s h i s insurance money H av e ’

. .
,

you got the receipt for the prem ium he p a i d thi s

‘
morning 3
40 T HE DE A R DEPARTED
M RS S I e not s een i t
VI C
.

T O R I A
.

m p fr m
’

h
ve s ofa a n d c omes
.

( j u s u p o t
b eh i n d t h e t a b le ) .

VI C Mother I don t thin k grandpa wen t to pa y h i s

.
,
’

i n surance thi s mornin g .

W
M RS S H e went o u t
. . .

VI C Yes b u t he didn t go i nto the town H e met

.
,
’
.

o ld Mr T atter sall down the street and they went

. ,

f past S t Ph ilips s C hurch

’
Of . .

M RS S T o the R ing O Bells I ll be bound

. .
-
’
-
,
’
.

B EN T h e Ring O Bells
’
- -
.

’
M RS S T hat public hous e that J ohn S h o rro ck s
. .
-

w idow k eep s H e is always hanging abou t there . .

O h if he ha sn t paid i t
,
’

B EN D o you think he hasn t paid i t it ’

. as

Overdue
M RS S I should th i nk it w as overdue
. . .

M RS J S omething tells me he s not pa i d it I ve

. .
’
.
’

a w arn in g I kn ow i t he s n o t paid i t ,
’ ’
.

B EN T h e drunk en o ld beggar
. .

M RS J H e s done i t o n purpo s e just to annoy u s

v
’
. . .
,

M RS S After all I e done for h im hav ing t o pu t

. .
’
,

up with him i n the house these three years .

’
It s nothing short Of swindling .

M RS J I had to put up with him for fi ve years

. . .

M RS S And you were try ing to turn h im over

. .

to u s all the time .

HE NRY B u t we don t know for certa in that h e s

.
’ ’

not paid the premiu m .

M RS J I do It s come over me all at once tha t

. . .
’

he ha s n t ’
.

M RS S V ictoria run up sta i rs and fetch that bu n ch

. .
,

o f key s that s o n your grandpa s dre ss in g -t a ble

’ ’
.
 T H E DE A R DEPARTED 41

VI C .
( t i m i d ly) In grandpa s room .
’

MRS S Yes
. . .

VI C . I I don t lik e to-

’
.

MRS S D on t talk so s illy T h ere s no o n e can

. .
’
.
’

hurt y o u .

( VI C T O R I A g o e s o u t r e lu ct a n t ly

We 11 see if he s locked the receipt up in the

’ ’

b ureau .

B EN In where . In this th in g ( H e r i s es a n d
e xa m i n es i t ) .

MRS J ( a ls o r i s i ng ) Where did y o u pick that up

. . .
,

Amelia It S n e w S in ce last I was here

’
.

( T h ey exami n e i t clos ely ) .

MRS S O h— H enry picked it up o n e day

. . .

MRS J I like it It S artistic D id yo u buy it at

. . .
’
.

an auction
HENRY E h . Where did I b u y it Ameli a 3 ,
‘

M RS S Yes at an auction
. .
, .

BE N ( d i sparagi ng ly) Oh second hand .

,
-

MRS J D on t Show your ignorance B en

. .
’
A ll , .

artistic thing s are second hand L ook at those -

v
.

Old master s .

( VI C T O R I A r e t u r n s er y s care d S h e c l os es t,
h e .

d o or aft er h er ) .

VI C Mothe r ! Mothe r !
.

MRS S Wh at is it child
. .
,

VI C Grandpa S getting up
.
’
.

BE N What .

MRS S What d o yo u say

. .

VI C Grandpa s getting up
.
’
.

MRS J T h e child s crazy

. .
’
.

M RS S D on t talk so silly D on t you k now yo u r

. .
’
.
’

grandpa s dead ’
42 T H E DE A R DEP AR TED
VI C N o no
.
, he ’
getting up I s aw him
s . .

( T h e
y a re t ra n sfi xe d w i t h a m a zem en t ; B EN

a n d M RS J O RDAN left of t a b le VI C T O R IA
.

cli ngs t o M RS S LATER r igh t of t ab le .

,

H ENRY n ear fi rep lace ) .

M RS J You d b etter go up and se e fo r yourself

. .
’
,

Amelia .

M RS S H ere— come w i th me H enry

. .
, .

( H ENRY d ra w s b ack t err ifi ed

B E N ( s u dden ly) H ist ! L i sten . .

( T h ey look a t th e d oor A s ligh t ch u ck li ng i s .

v
g
h e ard ou t s i de T h e d oor op ens re e al i ng
.
,

a n o ld m a n cla d i n a fa d ed b u t a y d r e s s i ng

t h ough o e r s e en ty h e i s vv
g ow n H e i s i n h i s s t ock i nged feet Al
ig or ou s an d w e l l v .

vv
c olou r e d hi s b r igh t m a li c i ou s e yes tw i n k le ,

W
u n der h i s h ea y redd i s h grey eyeb r ows ,
-
.

H e i s o b i ou s ly e i th e r gran dfa th e r A B EL
MERRYW EATHER or else h i s gh os t ) .

A B EL What s the matter with little V i ck y ! (H e

’
.

s e es B E N a n d M RS J O RDAN ) H ello ! What . .

br i ngs yo u here H O s yourself Ben

’
,

( A B EL t h r u s t s h i s h a n d a t B EN w h o s k i p s b a ck ,

s m art l
y a n d r e tr e a ts w i t h M RS J O RDAN t o .

a s afe di s tan ce b elow t h e s ofa ) .

M RS S ( appr oach i ng AB EL gi nger ly) Grandfather

. . .
,

i s that y o u ( S h e p ok es h i m w i th h er h an d t o
s ee if h e i s s o li d ) .

AB EL O f cou r se i t s me D on t do that Meli a

’ ’ ’
. .
.
,

What the devil do y o u mean b y thi s tomfoolery

M RS S ( t o t h e oth ers ) H e S n o t dead
. .
’

v
. .

B EN D oesn t seem like i t

’
. .

A B EL ( i rr i t ated b y th e w h i sper i ng ) Yo u e k ept .

’
44 T H E DE A R DEPA R TED
M RS S ( i n a i n d i ct i e
.

V ictoria
.

.
v vi w h s per ) H . old your tongue ,

A B EL E h
’
Wh at s that 2 Who s gone de ad
.
’ ‘

M RS S ( lou dly) V i ctor i a says sh e s sorry abou t

. . .
’

your head .

AB EL A thank you V i ck y but I m feel ing ’

h .
, , ,

b etter .

M RS S ( t o M RS J ) H e s s o fond Of V i ctor i a
. . .
’
.

M RS J ( t o M RS
. Ye s he s fond Of o u r J immy
. .
’
,

t oo .

M RS S You
. better a sk him i f he prom i sed your
.
’
d
Jimmy his gold watch .

M RS J ( d i sc on ce rt ed ) I couldn t just n o w I don t

. . .
’
.
’

feel equal to it .

A B EL Why Ben you re in mourn i ng ! A nd L i z z i e

’
.
, ,

too A nd Melia and H enry and l i ttle V icky !

.
’
, ,

’
Who s gone dead It S some o n e in the family ’
.

( H e ch u c k l es ) .

M RS S N o o n e y o u k now father A rel at i on o f

. .
, .

Ben s ’
.

A B EL A nd what relation Of Ben s

.
’

M RS S H i s brother
. . .

B E N ( t o M RS D ang i t I never had one .

,

AB EL D ear dear
. A nd what was his name Ben 7
, .
,
‘

B E N ( a t a loss ) E r— s r ( H e cr os ses t o fr on t of t ab le )
. . .

M RS S ( R of t a b le pr ompt i ng ) F rederick
. . .
, . .

M RS J ( L of t a b le pr ompt i ng ) A lb ert
. . .
, . .

B EN E r— F red —A lb—Isaac
. .

A B EL Isaac ! A nd where d i d your brother Isa a c

.

d ie
B EN . In — e r—i n A ustralia .

AB EL D ear dear H e d be O lder th a n yo u eh

’
.
, .
,

B EN Yes five ye a r
.
, .
 T H E DE A R DEPA RTE D 45

A B EL Ay a y A re you go in g to the funeral

.
, .

B EN O h yes
. .

M RS S an d M RS J N o no
.

v
. . . .
,

B EN N o o f course not
.
, ( H e r e t i res t o t h e left ) . .

A B EL ( r i s i ng ) Well I suppose you e only been

’
.
,

waiting for me to b egin tea I m feeling hungry .

’
.

M RS S ( t aki ng u p t h e k ett le) I 11 make tea

. . .
’
.

AB EL C ome along n o w ; S it y o u down and let s

.
,
’

be j olly .

( AB EL s i ts a t th e h ea d of th e t a b le fac i ng s pec ,

t a t or B E N an d M RS J O RDAN on t h e left
. . .

VI C T O RI A b ri ngs a ch a i r an d s i ts b y A B EL .

M RS S LATER a n d HENR Y s i t on t h e righ t

. .

B oth t h e w omen are n ext t o A B EL ) .

M RS S H enry give grandpa some tongue

. .
, .

A B EL T hank yo u
. I 11 make a start ( H e h elp s
.
’
.

h i ms e lft o b rea d an d b u tt er )
( H ENRY s er es t h e t ongu e an d M RS S LATER v
p ou rs ou t t ea On ly A B EL cats w i th an y
.

vv
.

h ear t i n ess ) .

B EN Glad to see you e got an appetite Mr Merry

.
’
, .

weather although you e not b een so well

,
’
.

A B EL N othing s erious
. I ve been ly in g down for .
’

a bit

v
.

MRS S Been to sleep grandfather

. .
,

A B EL N O I e n o t been to s leep
.
,
’
.

MRS S an d H ENR Y O h
. . .

A B EL ( ea ti ng a n d dri n k i ng ) I can t exactly call

’
.

everythin g to mind b u t I rememb er I w as a ,

b i t dazed like I couldn t move a n in ch hand

, .
’
,

o r foot .

B EN A nd could you see and hear Mr Merryw eather

. , .

A B EL Yes b u t I don t remember seeing anythin g

’
.
,
 46 T H E DE AR DEPA R TED
particular Mu stard Ben ( B EN pas s es t h e
.
, .

mu s tard ) .

M RS S O f course n o t grandfather It w a s all yo u r

. .
, .

fancy You must have been asleep

. .

A B EL ( s n app i sh ly) I tell y o u I wasn t asleep Melia

’ ’
.
, .

D amn it I ought to know ,

M RS J D idn t you se e H enry o r Amelia come into

. .
’

the room 9
A B EL ( s cra tch i ng hi s h ead ) N o w let me think .

M RS S I wouldn t press him E li z ab eth D on t ’ ’

WW
. .
, .

press him .

H ENRY N o I wouldn t worry him

. .
’
.

A B EL ( s u dden ly r e collect i ng ) Ay b egad Meli a and .

,
’

H enry what the devil did y o u mean b y shifting

,

m y b ureau o u t Of my b edroom 9
( H ENR Y a n d M RS S LATER are s p ech les s )
e . .

D you hear me 9 H enry

’
’
Melia
M RS J What b ureau was that father 9
. .
,

AB EL h y my b ureau the o n e I b ought

.
, ,

M RS J ( p o i n t i ng t o th e b u reau )
. . a s i t that o n e .
,

father 9
A B EL Ah that s it What S it do i ng here 9 E h 9 ’ ’
.
,

v
.

( A pau se T h e c lock on t h e m an t elp i ece s tr i kes .

si x E ery on e look s a t i t ) . .

D rat me if that isn t my clock too

’
What the , .

g
dev i l s b een going o n in this house 9
’

( A s li h t p au s e ) .

B EN Well I ll be hanged
’
. .
,

M RS J ( ri s i ng ) I ll tell y o u what s bee n go i ng

. . .
’ ’

on in this house father Nothing short o f , .

rob b ery .

M RS S Be quiet E lizabeth
. .
, .

M RS J I 11 not b e quiet O h I call i t doub le faced

. .
’
.
,
-
.
 T H E DE A R DEPA R TED 47

H ENRY N o w n o w E liz abeth

.
, ,
.

M RS J And yo u too A re you such a poor creature

. .
, .

that you must do every d i rty thing sh e tell s

you 9
M RS S ( r i s i ng ) R ememb er where you are E lizabeth
. . . , .

H ENR Y ( r i s i ng ) C ome come N O quarrelling

W
. .
.
,

B E N ( r i s i ng ) My wife s every right to speak her

’
.

o w n mind .

MRS S T hen sh e can speak it out side not here

. .
, .

A B EL ( ri s i ng ) ( T h u mp i ng t h e t ab le ) D amn it all
. .
,

will some one tell me W hat s b een going o n 9 ’

MRS J Yes I will I 11 n o t s e e you rob b ed .

’

v
.
. .
,

A B EL Who s been robbing me 9

.
’

M RS J Amelia and H enry T hey e stolen your

. . .
’

clock and b ureau ( ork i ng h ers e lf u p ) T hey . .

sneaked into your room like a thief in the night ,

and stole them after y o u were dead .

H ENRY an d M RS S H ush ! uiet E lizabeth . .

,

MRS J I 11 not be stopped After you were dead

. .
’
.
,

I sa y .

AB EL After who w a s dead 9

.

MRS J Yo u
. . .

AB EL But I m not dead

.
’
.

MRS J N O b u t they thought you were

. .
, .

( A pa u s e A B EL g a z e s r ou n d at t h em ) . .

AB EL O ho
’ ’
. S O that s w h y y o u re all in b lack
to day Yo u thought I w a s dead ( H e ch u ck les )
-
. . .

T hat w a s a big mi stake ( H e s i ts an d r e s u m es hi s .

t ea ) .

MRS S ( s obb i ng) Grandfather

. . . .

AB EL It did n t take you long to start d ivid i ng my

’
.

things b etween you .

MRS J N o father you mustn t th i nk that Amelia

. .
, ,
’
 T H E DE AR DEPA RTED
w as imply gett i ng hold o f them o n her o w n
s

account .

A B EL Yo u alway s were a k een one A mel i a

. I , .

’
s uppose y o u thought the will wasn t fair .

H ENR Y D id you make a will 9

.

A B EL Yes it was locked up in the b ureau

.
, .

M RS J A nd what was in it father 9

. .
,

A B EL T hat doesn t matter n o w I m th i nking o f ’ ’

. .

destroying it and making another .

M RS S ( s ob b i ng ) Grandfather you 11 not b e hard

. . .
,
’

o n me .

A B EL I ll troub l e yo u for another cup Of t e a

.
’
,
’
Mel i a t w o lumps and plenty Of milk .

M RS S With pleasure grandfather ( S h e p ou rs ou t

. .
, .

t h e t ea ) .

A B EL I don t want to be hard o n any o n e ’

I ll
’

v
. .

tell you what I m going to do Si nce your mother ’

.

died I e lived part o f the time with yo u Melia

,
’
,
’
,

and part with you L i z z ie Well I shall make a , .

,

n e w will leav i ng all my b i ts o f things to whoever

,

I m liv i ng with when I d i e H o w doe s that

’
.

s tr ike y o u 9

H ENRY It s a bit o f a lottery like

.
’
, .

M RS J And who do you intend to live w ith from n o w !

. .

A B EL ( dr i n k i ng h i s t e a ) I m j ust coming to that .

’
.

M RS J Yo u know father it s quite time yo u came

. .
, ,
’

to live with us again We d make you very .

’

comfortable .

M RS S N O he s not been w ith us as long as he

. .
,
’

was with yo u .

M RS J I may be wrong but I don t think father w i ll

. .
,
’

fancy living o n w i th you after what s happened ’

to d a y .
 T H E DE A R DE PAR TED 49

A B EL S like to have me aga i n L i z zie 9

you d
’
. O ,

MRS J Yo u know w e re ready for you to make

. .
’

your home with us for as long as y o u plea s e .

AB EL What do you say to that Melia 9

’
.
,

g
MRS S A ll I can say i s that E lizab eth s changed
. .
’

her mind in the las t t w o years ( R i s i n ) Grand .

father do you know what the quarrel between

,

us was ab out 9
MRS J Amelia don t be a fool s it down
. .
,
’
.

MRS S N O if I m not to have him y o u shan t

. .
,
’
,
’

either We quarrelled because E lizab eth sa i d

.

she wouldn t take y o u O ff o u r hand s at any ’

price S he said sh e d had enough o f yo u to la s t

.
’

a lifet i me and w e d got to keep you ’

.

v
,

AB EL It seems to me that neither Of you has any

.

cause to feel proud ab out the way you e treated ’

me
.

I m sorry for it
’
.

MRS S If I e done anyth i ng wrong I m sure

.
’
v .
,
’

MRS J And I can t say more than that t o o

. .
’
, .

AB EL It s a b it late to say i t n o w Yo u ne ither

’
.
.
,

of yo u cared to put up with me

v
.

MRS S an d M RS J N O no grandfather
. . . .
, , .

AB EL Ay you b oth s a y that because o f what I e

.
,
’

told you about leav ing my money Well since .

,

’
you don t want me I ll go to s ome o n e that ’

does .

BE N C ome Mr Merryweather yo u e got to l ive v ’

v
.
, .
,

with o n e of your daughters

vv
.

AB EL I ll tell you what I e got to do

vg
O n Monday
’ ’
. .

’
next I e o t to do three things I e got to ’
.

go to the lawyer s and alter my will ; and I e ’ ’

got to go to the i nsu rance O ffice and pay my

VO L . m . D
50 T H E DE A R DEPA R TED
premium ; and I ve got to go to S t Ph ilips s ’
.
’

C hurch and get married .

B E N a n d H ENR Y What .

M RS J Get marr i ed
. .

M RS S H e s out o f h i s s enses
. .
’
.

( G en e ra l c on s tern at i on ) .

A B EL I s a y I m go ing to get marr i ed

’
. .

M RS S Who to 9
. .

v
A B EL T O Mrs John S h o rro c k s who keep s the Rin g O
’
-
. .

.
’
Bells We e had it fixed up a good while now ,

but I w a s k eep i ng it for a pleasant surpr i se ( H e .

r i s es ) I felt I w a s a bit of a b urden to y o u so

.
,

I found s ome o n e who d think i t a pleasure to ’

look after me We Shall be very glad to see y o u

.

at the ceremony ( H e gets t o th e d oor ) T ill . .

Monday then T welve O clock at S t Ph ilips s

, .
’
.
’

C hurch ( Open i ng t h e d oor ) It s a good thing

. .
’

you b rought that bureau downstairs Melia ,

’
.

It 11 b e handier to carry across to the R ing o

’
-
’

Bells o n Monday .

( H e g oes ou t ) .

T he C U R T A I N fa lls .
 W
CHARA CTER S

MR OVENS
. .

FRED OVENS ( h i s S on ) .

MRS OVENS ( hi s S ec on d ife )

. .

ED IE ( MRS O V ENS S i s ter)

.
’
.

D R J ELLIC OE
. .

MR S. K RIM S H IRE (a S o li ci tor).

T he s cen e i s t h e parl ou r i n t he hou s e f MR O VENS

o . .
 T H E M A S T ER OF T H E H O U S E

T he

t h e longer
’
s

O VENS par lou r b ei ng i s i ble v

cen e i s t ri angu lar on ly t w o w a lls of MR,

T h e left h an d w al l i s
A w i n d ow w i th a dark bli n d i s n ear th e
.
.
-
.

s p ec t a t or a n d fart h e r a w a y i s
, t h e fi r ep lace In th e .

righ t h an d w al l i s th e d oor leadi ng i n t o a h a l l or

-
,

p as sage B y t h e h eart h w i t h i t s b ack t o t h e spect a t or

.
, ,

i s an armch a i r i t w ou ld b e fu l l i n t h e ligh t fr om t h e

g
w i n dow if th e b li n d w er e u p an d t h e s u n w er e s h i n i ng
i n t o th e r oom In th e m i dd le of th e r oom i s a b i
.

r ou n d t a b le an d t h ree ch ai rs A s i deb oar d i s b e low .

t h e d oor an d a b u r e au a s ofa , an d ot h e r c h a i rs are

,

i n t h e r oom .

T h e p lace i s c omfort a b le th e r oom of a h ard h e a de d -

v
,

peasan t c ome t o t ow n an d fa i r ly s u ccessfu l t h ere of

v
a man w h o w i th ou t an y a d an t age s of b i r th or as s i s t

g v
an c e offr i en ds h as c ar ed ou t hi s t w o or t h r e e h u n dr e d

a
y ear c om pe t en ce f or hi s o ld a e b y s e e r e e c o n om y

v
,

an d lu c ky s pecu la t i on i n s m al l t h i ngs .

g
It i s an au t u mn e en i ng T h e fire i s low an d th e
.
,

i n can des cen t as b u rn er b y th e h earth i s ligh t ed

-
.

t o t h e s pect a t or
s e e hi s w h i t i s h g r e h a i r
.

a
v
MR O VE NS i s s i tt i ng i n t h e a rmch a i r w i th h i s b ack
H i s face i s n ot i s i b le b u t on e can
n d h i s b en t b ack E D I E
,

an d
y .

M RS O VENS are s i tti ng on opp os i te s i de s of th e t ab le

.
,

fi n i s h i ng a s u pp e r of b r e a d
M RS O VENS i s a h ard ig or ou s capa b le w oman of
.
,
a n

vd c h e e se a n d
,
c off e e

65
.
 T H E MA S TE R OF T H E H O US E
vE I
56

th i rty fi -
e ; D E a r at h er p le asan t gi r l of t w en ty
t h r ee .

E D I E Won t .
’
he have any supper ! ( N add i ng at

M R O VENS ) . .

M RS O VE NS H e ! ( J e rk i ng h er h e a d t ow ard s MR
. . .

O VENS ) N O he had his b read and milk at s ix

.

O clock I shan t give h i m any more before he

’
.
’

goes to bed .

E D I E ( glan ci ng at clock ) It s half past eight n o w .

’
-
.

M RS 0 H e doe sn t eat much S lop s and th i ngs Of

. .
’
.

that sort I have to feed him like a b ab y ; he

.

makes such a mess O f his clothes if I don t ( Look

g g
’
.

i n i n t o t h e c ojfe e ju ) Will you have a drop -

.

more coffee 9 T here s only enough for o n e ’

.

E D I E N O I don t care ab out it

.
,
’
.

M RS 0 T hen I ll finish i t ( S h e p ou rs ou t th e cojfee )

. .
’
. .

I d have fancied an onion w ith my cheese t o

’

night but Mr S k rim sh i re s coming in t o s e e

, .
’

h i m ( j erk i ng h er h e a d b ack w ar ds at MR O VENS ) .

,

and they make your breath smell S O .

E D I E Mr S k rim sh i re ; he s the solic i tor that l ive s

. .
’

up at Bank T o p 9
M RS 0 Ye s H e ( jerk of h ea d) u s ed to take all
. . .

h i s b it s o f bu sine s s to S k rim sh i re s Office in S al ’

C hester ; and since he S s o ill n o w and can t get ’

,
’

up to town young Mr S k rim sh i re said he d look, .

’

in and se e him to night -

.

E D I E What doe s he want to s e e Mr S k rim sh i re

. .

for 9
M RS O (s m i l i ng mys t er i ou s ly) Ah aha
. . .
,

E D I E C an h e hear us 9
.

M RS 0 H ear us 9 N O fear H e s so deaf that he d

. . .
’ ’
 T H E M AS TE R OF T H E HO USE 57

sit there as quiet as a mouse if t h e world w as

coming to an end and the last trump sound in g .

E D I E ( coax i ng ) T hen tell me . .

M RS O ( w i th a b ackw ard j erk ) H e s going to alter

. . .
’

his will at last , .

E D I E My word
. Go ing to cut F red o u t 9
MRS O ( c omp res s i ng h er li ps ) T hat I can t s ay
. . .
’
.

E D I E IS he going to leave everything to yo u 9

.

M RS O N or that e ither But i f he did w ouldn t

. . .
,
’

I have deserved i t 9
E D I E H e s been a lot of tro u ble to yo u the s e five
.
’

years .

MRS 0 T rouble ! Y ou may well say that Le t

. . .

alone my marryin g h im when I w a s only thirty ,

and I might easy have found s ome young fellow

who d have been glad to a sk me
’
.

E D I E I s aid at the time you were daft and he a

.
,

widow er w ith a s o n Older than yourself .

M RS 0 H e was S i xty six when I married him -

v
. .

’
he S seventy one n o w H e 11 n o t last much -
.
’

longer and I m only th i rty fi e

,
’
-
.

E D I E I never thought to s e e him pull throu gh th at

.

last attack It s to be hoped he doesn t l inger.

’ ’
.

M RS O N O it would be a mercy i f he were tak e n

. .
,

quickly A mercy for him I mean .

, .

E D I E A nd for you t o o i f it come s to that

.
, , .

MRS 0 Yo u d never believe the work I hav e w ith

. .
’

him D re ss ing him and undres s ing him a n d

.
, ,

getting him up and down the stairs H e wo n t .

’

stop in h i s bedroom o u t O f the way ; must be

down here i n his armchair I could shak e h im .

somet i m es he s that s tup i d ,

’
.

( T h er e s a kn ock a t t h e fr on t door )
’
.
58 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E H OUS E
M RS . 0 . GO who i t is E die It s too e a rly
and se e , .
’

for Mr S k rim sh i re yet surel y P erh ap s it s t h e

.
, .
’

doctor ; he s n o t been to d ay ’
-
.

( E D I E g oes o u t M RS O V E NS r i.s es a n d g o es .

t o h e ar t h ) .

( T o MR O VENS lou dly ) A re you quite w arm

.
, .

enough 9 ( M R O VENS does n ot reply ) Yo u 11 . .

’

h ave to wake up when Mr S k rim sh i re come s . .

( Gru mbli ng t o h e rs elf ) I don t k now why you

’
.

’
can t stop in bed ; you do nothing but sleep
down here .

( E D I E ru n s i n r a t h e r s c a r e d ) .

E D I E Annie it s F red
.
,
’

M RS 0 F red 9
. .

E D I E F red O vens H i s so n !
. .

MRS 0 What doe s he want 9

.

v
.

( F RED O VENS follows E D I E i n t o t h e room H e

i s a t a ll w e ll b u i lt h ea y m an of t hi rty—
.

,
-
si x, .

H e i s awk wa r d an d s u llen a lm os t b ru t i s h ,

b u t a ls o ra th e r a s tr i k i ng h an ds ome m an

v
,

i n a c lu msy w ay H e h as a m ou s tach e .
,

a n d w ea rs roug h c ou n t r c lo t h es e r s h a b b
y y y ,

b u t a lm os t p i ctu res qu e A colou re d mufiter .

i s r ou n d h i s n e ck an d h e carri es a cap ) , .

F RED T hat s a fi n e way to w elcom e a fellow whe n

’
.

h e come s home .

M RS O T h i s i sn t your home
. .
’
.

F RED I w a nt to h ave a w ord w ith y o u A nnie

.
, .

Y o u 11 ex cuse me calling you A nnie ; I n ever

’

could b ring mys elf to call you mother .

M RS 0 You can call me what yo u ple ase s o lo n g

. .

a s y o u take yourself away from here .

F RED ( s ee i ng MR O VENS ) Ay ; there he i s . . .

60 T H E MA S TE R O F T H E H OUSE
F RED ( ea ti ng ) You talk to me S O like my father
.

that I think I 11 have to call you mother i n ’

futu re .

M RS 0 D on t let me have any o f your lip An d

. .
’
.

just keep qu i et o r y o u ll wak e your father and ’

,

’
then there 11 be a fine ro w H e d never forgive
’
.

g
me for letting you come in here .

( E D I E r et u r n s w i t h a j u of b e e r a n d a g lass ) .

F RED T hank yo u my dear

.
( H e p ou rs ou t b ee r )
, . .

Good health father ( H e dr i n ks ) I hear h e s , . .

’

n o t been s o w ell lately .

M RS 0 H e s never been the same s ince you c ame

. .
’

and told him yo u d been i n gaol and he tu rned ’

,

you o u t H e had a strok e that night

. .

F RED A h ! .

M RS 0 We thought h i s min d was clea n broken

. .

down for a time H e couldn t speak properly .

’
,

o r attend to h i s business Indeed he s only ’

.
,

ju st getting r i ght again n o w .

F RED It s lucky he s got su ch a good k i nd w i fe

’ ’
.
,

to look after h i m .

M RS 0 B e S ha rp w i th that n o w an d clear o u t
. .
, , .

( S h e r i s es ) .

F RED Before I clear out ther e s s ometh in g e l se I

.
’

w a nt you to do for me .

M RS 0 “ T hat s that 9
. .
’

( F RED s m i les ) .

Yo u 11 get noth i ng else I prom i s e you

’
, .

F RED Yo u 11 g ive me som e money won t yo u 9

’ ’
.
,

M RS 0 N ot a penny
F RED C ome —mother
v
. . .

. .

M RS 0 Not a penny I sa y We e no money to

. .
, .
’

g ive away here .

 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E HO US E 61

F RED . L end me some then , .

Mrs O. . L end you !

FRED I 11 pay y o u back
’
. .

M RS 0 You ll never b e a b le to pay anything back

. .
’
.

F RED S ome time When h e s gone ( N add i n g at ’

. . .

MR O VENS ) . .

M RS O ( gr i m ly s m i li ng ) I don t th i nk s o
. . .
’
.

( F RED looks a t h er i n s i len ce an d p u s h es h i s ,

p late a w ay ) .

F RED What 9 H a s he cut me O ff then 9

.
,

M RS 0 What do you deserve 9

. .

F RED Isn t he going to leave me anyth i ng 9

’
.

M RS O I don t know what he S done

. .
’ ’
.

F RED ( angr i ly) H a s he altered his will 9 ( H e r i s e s )

. .

MRS O ( a larm ed ) S it down N o he S not altered ’

v
. . . .
,

his will .

F RED ( reli e ed a n d s i tt i ng dow n ag a i n ) A

, h ! T hen .

there w i ll b e something H e divided it all b e .

tween you and me the money and the houses .

M RS O I b el i eve he d i d
. . .

F RED N ow look here

.
( H e lean s b ack i n h i s ch a i r

v
.

a n d p u lls ou t hi s e mp t e rs p ock e t s ) T
’ ’

y t r o u s hat s .

all I e got in the world If you ll lend me ten

’
.
’

quid I 11 n o t trouble you aga i n for a long t ime

’
.

v
MRS 0 Why don t you earn your l iving 9 ’
. .

F RED I e tried
.
’
.

MRS O T ried indeed

. . Yo u don t want to work
,
’
.

F RED It S not s o easy to get work as you may

.
’

think .

MRS 0 Where have yo u been try ing 9

v
. .

F RED In S a lch e st e r
. .

MRS 0 Yo u e been at tho s e meet ing s o f t h e

. .
’

unemployed 9
62 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E HOUSE
F RED Yes I e done a deal o f talking at them
.
,

M RS O I thought so ; that s ab out all you re fit

’
v ’
.

v
. .

fo r H ave y o u done n o w 9
.

F RED ( lean i ng b ack i n h i s ch a i r ) Ay I e done

’
. .
,

M RS 0 T hen you d better b e go i ng

. .
’
.

F RED You re mighty free with your tongue mother

.
’
, .

S uppose I said I wouldn t go 9 ’

M RS O I d have you turned o u t I m m aster i n

. .
’
.
’

this house .

F RED ( n odd i ng t o MR O VENS ) Wh at about h i m ! . .

I thought he was master .

M RS 0 You thought wrong then But yo u can

. . .

wake him up if you like and se e what he 11 s a y ’

.

F RED N O I know what he 11 sa y ( R i s i ng a n d

v
’
.
.
,

w a lk i ng r ou n d t o M R O VENS ) Yes you e been ’

. .

a good father to me
M RS 0 Yo u e been a good so n to h i m haven t
.

you 9
.
’
v .

,
’

F RED ( n ot h eed i ng h er ) Yo u turned me o u t o f doors .

when I needed helping ; y o u hate me Well .

,

W
I don t love you neither ’

v
.
,

M RS 0 A re you going 9
. .

F RED I m going ( H e m o e s t ow ar ds th e door )

’
. . .

Give me some money .

M RS 0 N ot a farthing
. . .

( T h ere i s a kn ock a t t h e fr on t door E D I E .

g oes ou t ) .

M RS O D rat it there s Mr S k ri m sh i re and m e

. .
,
’
.
,

not ready for h im T h at s your fa u lt .

’
.

F RED Well I m go i ng aren t I 9 h o s th i s

’ ’ ’
.
, ,

com in g 9
M RS 0 S ome o n e to se e your father o n bu sin e ss
. . .

( E D I E reappears ) .
 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E HO USE 63

E D I E Mr S k rim sh i re s come Annie

vv
’
.
. .
,

( M R S K RIM S H IRE a e ry s m art ly dresse d you ng

.
,
-

fellow of a b ou t t w en ty s e en c om es i n b r i sk ly -
, .

H e i s t h e s on an d ju n i or par tn e r of o ld
S K R IM S H IRE MR O VENS s oli c i t or )
’
. .
,

MR S K RIM S H IRE Good evening Mrs O vens

. .
, . .

M RS O Good evening Mr S k rim sh i re

. .
, . .

MR S My father s getting o n you kn ow and he

. .
’
, ,

doesn t like turn i ng out again after he gets home

’

from town and since Mr O vens is too ill to come .

’
to the Office my father thought he wouldn t ,

mind giving m e his instructions .

MRS 0 O h ce rtainly Mr S k rim sh i re I 11 make

v g
’
.
. .
, , .

room for you here ( S h e m o es t h e t h i n s fr om .

a c orn er of t h e t a b le a n d p u ts a ch a i r for MR , .

S K RIM S H IRE fac i n g t h e spect a t or ) .

MR S ( l ook i ng a t MR O VENS ) T h e o ld gentleman s

. . . .
’

hav i ng a doze I s e e P ity to waken h i m up , . .

( H e s i t s ) T hank you . .

MRS O It ll do him good H e s dozing all d ay

. .
’
.
’

long ( T o F RED w h o i s n ear t h e d oor ) What are

.
, .

you wait in g for 9

MR S ( tu rn i ng r ou n d ) H ello ; y o u re F red O ven s ’
. . .
,

aren t yo u 9 ’

F RED Ye s s i r .

v
MR S I e not see n y ou about the v i ll age for a good
. .

while H ave yo u been aw a y 9 .

’
, .

FRED Ye s . .

MR S What a re yo u do in g n o w 9
. .

F RED I m n o t doing anythin g j u st n o w S i r

.
’
, .

MR S Ah o u t o f work eh 9 I m sorry
. .
, ,
’
.

g
F RED H ave y o u come here to cut m e o u t o f h i s
.

will 9 ( N oddi n at MR O VENS ) . .

64 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E HO USE
MR S H ave I come here
. t o —m y dear man what ,

v
.

are y o u tal k ing about 9

F RED Yo u e come to alter h i s w i ll
’
. .

MR S ( s h ruggi ng h i s s h ou lders an d ra i s i ng h i s e ye
.

b r ows a t M RS O VENS ) Mrs O ven s e r—your h u s

.

. . .
,

’
band want s to s e e me alone doesn t he 9 ,

F RED ( t o M RS O VENS ) T ell me if he s come to alter

’
. .

my father s will ’
.

M RS 0 Ye s he has
. .
, .

MR S ( pr ot es t i ng ) R eally
. . .

F RED IS he going to cut me o u t 9 ( T o M R S K RIM

. .

SH I RE ) A re you going to cut me o u t 9

.

MR S D on t make a fool o f yourself O ven s

. .
’
S i nce , .

v
Mrs O ven s has told y o u I don t mind s ay i ng ’
.
,

that I e come here to take your father s i n st ru c

’ ’

t i ons for a fresh w i ll H e may be going to cut .

y o u out as y o u call
, i t for all I k now O n the , .

other hand he may be going to leave you every,

thing o r again he may be go ing to leave every ,

thing to the A rchb ishop o f C anterb ury I haven t .

’

the least idea what h e s go i ng to do and i f I ’

,

had I shouldn t tell you ’

.

F RED ( go i ng u p t o MR O VENS ) Yo u Old dev i l y o u 1 e . .

’ '

going to cut me o u t are you ! ( H e s h ak es hi s ,

fis t a t hi m ) C urse you .

M RS O ( s e i z i ng F RED ) You leave h i m alone

. . . .

MR S ( r i s i ng ) Mrs O vens unless I can se e your

. . . .
,

husb and alone it is really no u se my wastin g

my time here ( H e r eplaces s ome pap ers i n hi s
.

p ock et ) .

( T h ere i s a kn ock at t h e fr on t door E D I E r un s .

ou t ) .

F RED ( t u r n i ng t o MR S K RIM S H IRE ) A ll right Mr . .

, .
 T HE MAS TE R OF T H E H O US E 65

S k rim sh i re ,
’
you don t need to disturb yourself .

I m
’
going .

MR S T hat S right O vens

. . I m glad you re not
’
, .
’ ’

go i ng to b e stupid L ook here ; come an d s e e .

me at the Office some day next week and I 11 s e e ,

’

if I can find y o u a jo b

W
.

F RED T hat s good of you Why do you mak e a n

’
. .

O ffer like that to me 9

W
MR S You may b e a client Of ours some day
. . .

( E D I E s h ow s i n D R J ELL I C O E a j o l ly s tou t .
, ,

m edi cal man of a b ou t for ty ) .

D R J E LL I C O E Good evening Mrs O vens

. .
( H e looks , . .

a t F RED b u t d oes n t kn ow h i m H e sp e a ks t o
’
.
,

MR S K RIM S H IRE ) H ello Jimmy what are yo u

. .
, ,

do i ng here 9 ( i th ou t w a i ti ng for a n a ns w er ) .

I m disgracefully late aren t I ! I was called

’
,
’

away to ra y s fo rd to young Mrs Amore A n . .

urgent ca s e b u t i t turned out all right I m happy , ,

’

to s a y A fine boy T hat s why I m s o late

. .
’ ’
.

C an t be helped T hese th in gs happen in the

’
.

best regulated famil i es don t they 9 ,

’

M RS 0 Well doctor where should we b e i f they

. .
, ,

did n t 9 ’

D R J ! u i te so quite so And h o w s the patient 9 ’

. . .
,

M RS O N ot been s o well to day doctor

. .
-
, .

D R J A sleep I s e e I ll just have a look at h i m ’

. . . .
,

Won t k eep y o u a minute S k rim sh i re

’
, .

MR S D on t hurry o n my account Old chap

. .
’
, .

( D R JE LLIC O E w a lks r ou n d i n fr on t of t h e t able

v
.
,

a n d appr oach es MR O VENS fr om t h e b ack ) . .

D R J ( e ry lou d ly) Good evening Mr O vens

. . .
(H e , . .

t ap s hi s s h ou lder gen t ly) Wake up s i r and let .

, ,

me have a look at you .

VO L . III .
66 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E HO US E

( D R J E LLIC
. O E t a k es a n ot h e r s t e p an d tu rn s ,

f ac i n g t h e s p e c t a t o r t o look M R O VENS i n

W
.
,

t h e face H ard ly h as h e g lan ce d at MR

. .

O VENS t h a n h i s ow n face ch an ges i n a n

i n s t an t an d ass u m es an express i on of h orr or

v
,

a n d s u rpr i s e H e s t a rts b ack )

. .

D R J ( i n a ery difi ere n t t on e ) H o w long has h e be e n

'
. . .

like thi s 9
’

( T h ey are a ll s tart led b y t h e d oct or s t on e ) .

M RS O L ike —like what doctor 9

. .
,

( i t h o u t r e p ly i n g D R J ELL I C O E,t a k e s M R. .

O VENS w ri s t fe els t h e p u ls e a n d lets t h e

’
, ,

h an d dr op aga i n on t h e kn e e H e p laces .

h i s h an d on th e h eart T h e n h e s tra i gh t en s .

u p a n d look s a t t h e ot h ers ) .

M RS 0 D octo r what is it 9
. .
,

D R J ( qu i e tly) Mr O ven s i s dead

v
. . . . .

( T h ey a ll s t are a t t h e d oct or s p e llb ou nd ) , .

F RED ( i n a low dee p o i ce ) D ead

v
.
,

MR S ( i n a w h i s per ) Good grac i ous

. . .

( A s ligh t p a u se M RS O VENS gi es a low . .

w a i l a n d s i n ki n g i n t o t h e c h a i r left of t h e
,

t a b le b r e a k s i n t o a pa i nfu l s t orm of s ob s .

S h e q u i ck ly s u b s i des i n t o a gen t le r s u b du e d
w ee p i ng w i th h e r h ea d b u r i ed i n h er a r ms
, .

E D I E c omforts h er F RED s i ts d ow n on a .

ch a i r n e ar t h e d oor s tu n n e d MR S K RIM , . .

SH I RE gen t ly cr os s es an d looks a t MR O VE NS .
,

a n d s t a n ds b y t h e d oc t or ) .

MR . T his is really an awful b usiness J e llico e , .

D R J H e mu st have been dead t w o o r three hours

. . .

MR S R eally
. . What an extraord i nary thing W i ll .

there h ave to b e an inque st 9

68 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E H O US E
’
DR .J Well n o w there you are I ll call round
.
,
.

aga i n in the morning and s e e you F irst th i ng . .

Good bye my dear Mrs O vens good b y e I m

-
, .
-
.
’

very sorry ( As h e pas s es MR S K RIM S H IRE ) . . .

D on t b e long
’
.

( D R J ELL I C O E g o e s o.u t ) .

MR S ( g e n t ly t o F RED ) E r— M r O ven s

F RED ( r i s i n g ) S ir 9 ( C
. . . . .

om i ng t o t h e t a b le a n d s i t t i ng
.

i n t h e r igh t c h a i r ) T his makes a di fference s i r 9 .

,

MR S T h e o ld will is valid o f course ; the will he

v
. .
,

intended to supersede .

( M RS O VENS s i t s u p an d li s ten s t o t h e c on ers a

.

t i on ) .

MR S Yo u are b oth acqua i nted w i th i t s prov i sions

. .
,

I understand 9
F RED I know he divided everyth i ng between her
.

and me .

MR S T ha t was i t roughly
. . And noth i ng fa i rer
, .

could have b een arranged in my Op i nion

v
, .

( E D I E c o m es i n w i t h a w h i t e s h eet S h e gen t ly .

places t h i s o e r t h e b ody of M R O VENS s o .

,

t h a t i t e n t i r e ly d rap e s t h e s e a t e d figu r e lik e

a s h r ou d T h ey w a tch h er i n s i len ce a n d
.
,

t h en MR S K RIM S H IRE c on t i n u es . h e refe rs

t o a p ap e r ) .

H e left this house and the o n e next door to yo u ,

Mr O vens ; the two houses in H awthorn L ane

.

to you ma am T h e money invested is d ivided

,
’
.

into two equal parts O f course yo u rs i s only

for life Mrs O ven s O n your death—o r re
.
,

marriage—it passe s t o Mr F red here

. .
,

. .

M RS O ( w i th a s ob ) Yes
. . . .

MR S I h a ppened to bring a note Of these pro

. .
 T HE MAS TE R OF T H E HOUSE 69

vi s i on s w ith me for referenc e in t h e bu si ne ss ,

which e r—for wh i ch there was no occasion

, .

( M R S K RIM S H IRE r i s es p u tt i ng a w ay hi s pap e rs )

.
, .

’
T hat is all I think I won t intru d e an y longer
, . .

T e r r ible b usiness V ery sorry ( H e g oe s t o th e

. .

d oor ) E r—
. perhaps you will look us up at the
Office in a day o r t w o Mr O vens We have acted , . .

for your father for a good many years a n d we ,

shall be very pleased to act for you if y o u wi sh i t .

F RED T hank you sir I dare s a y I 11 call ’

.
.
, .

( E D I E s h ows MR S K RIM S H IR E ou t ) . .

( A pa u s e M RS O VENS looks at F RED ) . . .

M RS 0 A nd n o w perhap s you ll go and leav e me

. . ,
’
,

a lone with my grief .

F RED I don t stir from here

’
. .

M RS 0 It was h i s wish yo u should n t stop in th i s

. .
’

house I 11 s e e t h at carr i ed o u t at an y rat e

.
’
, .

F RED Yo u re forgettin g o n e th in g mother

’
. .
,

M RS 0 What s that !
. .
’

( E D I E r e t u rn s ) .

F RED T his i s my hou s e n o w

. H e left i t me i n h i s .

w i ll .

( M RS O VENS s i t s u p a n d s t ar es at h i m )
. .

Yo u re not b o s s here a n y longer

’
N either i s .

I m master Of the house

’
.

g
( M RS O VENS r i s es t o h er fe et ) . .

’ ’
It s not me that s o t to clear o u t it s you ’
.

MRS 0 Me !
. .

E D I E F red yo u 11 not turn her o u t to n i ght 9

.
,
’
-

F RED I will in deed

. .

MRS O I won t go
. .
’
.

F RED If you don t go I ll put you o u t

.
’ ’
.

MRS 0 Yo u would n t da r e
. .
’
.
70 T H E MAS TE R OF T H E H O US E
F RED
’
. here s nothin g I d lik e better
T
’
.

( M RS O VE N S h es i t a
.t es a s e c on d a n d t h e n b r eaks

d own ) .

M RS 0 O h ! I can t go to n ight T o think th at I

. .
’
-
.

w a s s ay in g to E d i e only just n o w wha t a worry

he was not know in g that he d never trouble m e
,
’

a ga in ( App ea li ng t o h i m ) F red
. . .

F RED ( i mp lacable ) Get your hat a n d co at an d t ak e .

your self o ff .

M RS O E d i e what am I to do 9
. .
,

E D IE Yo u d better come hom e w ith m e t o n ight

.
’
-
,

if he means it .

F RED I d o me a n i t
. .

( M RS O VE NS dri es h er eyes an d gets u p aga i n )

.
, .

M RS 0 Yo u re glad that he S dead ( S h e goes ou t )

. .
’ ’
. .

F RED I m not though he was a hard man and h e

.
’
, ,

treated me harshly I d give a good deal i f I .

’

’
ha dn t stood there and cu rsed him a short while
ago .

E D I E ( turn i ng on hi m ) You ought to be a shamed of .

yourself F red O ven s I never heard of su ch a

, .

thi ng What turn a w i fe o u t O f the hou se w h e n

.
,

’
her hu sb and s not yet cold
F RED ( s u llen ly) S he was for turning me o u t . .

E D IE You know what her temper i s I thought

. .

b etter o f you i ndeed I d i d N O C hri sti a n would

, .

do what y o u re do i ng ’
.

( M RS O VENS retu rns w i th c oat an d b onn et on )

. .

F red let her stay to ni ght S he s you r fath e r s

,
-
.
’ ’

g
wife rememb e r , .

v
F RED T hat s why I m tu rn in g her o u t
’ ’
.
( olli n
S t r .

o e r t o MR O VENS an d a ddr ess i ng h i m I 11 sho w

)
’
. .

o u w h o s m a ster O f the ho u s e n o w
’
y .
 T HE MA S TE R OF T HE HOUSE 71

MRS 0 T
’
. .h e re s no need to wa st e word s o n him ,

E di e .I wouldn t stop in h i s hou se n o w if he ’

w e nt down o n h i s bended k n ees C ome a long

W
. .

( E D I E g o es o u t ) Good n i ght F.red O ven s You r e , .

’

m aster Of t h e house and may yo u pa s s a plea sant ,

night in i t w i th the m an you cursed whe n h e s at

dead i n his chair

v v
.

( M RS O VENS goes ou t ) . .

( T h e fr on t d oor b angs F RED s h i ers an d mo es .

t o t h e fr on t of t h e t a b le an d s i ts on t h e e dge .

H e laughs q u i et ly ) .

F RE D P leasant n igh t h y shouldn t I 9 ( T o MR

’
. . .

O VENS ) Y o u won t in terfere w ith me I m not

’ ’
. .

a fra i d o f you What i s there to be afraid o f 9

.

( H e looks r ou n d fe arfu l ly an d hi s eye aga i n retu rns ,

t o MR O VENS figu re ) You can t turn me o u t

’ ’

v
. .

of doors now I m boss here ( T h e figu re does .

’
.

n ot t a ke a n y n ot i ce F RED s h i e rs aga i n ) I 11 go ’
. .

rou nd to the K i ng s A rms and have a dr ink ’

,

there 11 be company there ( T o MR O VENS

’
. .

q u i ck ly) But I 11
’
come b ack fo r the night min d

v
.
,

g
yo u . You 11 n o t drive me away ( H e goes t o
’
.

t h e as an d t u rns i t ou t le a i ng t h e r o om i n p e rfect

v
,

da rkness H e gr op es h i s w ay t o t h e d oor
. H e re h e .

p a u se s ) I . e n o money ’
( H e t h i n k s T
) hey . .

g
always u s ed to k eep some money in the sideboard
drawer ( H e rapes h i s w ay t o t h e s i deb oard on
.

g v
t h e ext r eme r igh t an d s tu mb les ag a i n s t a ch a i r )
, .

Can t se e a thin and I e no matches Wait a

’
,
’
.

minu te ( H e cr osses t o th e w i n d ow an d pu lls u p

.

th e b li n d B righ t m oon ligh t s tr i k es th r ough t h e

.

w i n dow H e cr os s es t o t h e s i de b oa rd an d eas i ly
.

fin ds th e dra w er op en s i t an d s earch es T h er e i s
, , .
72 T H E MAS TE R OF T HE H OUSE
no m on ey t o b e fou n d H . e t a k es a c as h -
b ox an d

tu rn s t ow ar ds t h e w i n d ow w i th i t to exam n e i it
carefu lly As h e tu rn s h e c omes fu ll on th e s i len t
.

figu re of MR O VENS s i tt i ng rigi d i n hi s ch a i r

.
, ,

s h r ou de d i n w h i t e g h a s t ly i n t h e g lar e of t h e m oon
, .

F RED s t arts b ack w i th an oath an d d r op s t h e cas h

b ox ) You can t frighten me
.
’
Yo u shan t turn .
’

me o u t I tell y o u I m master o f the house

, .
’
.

( H e s i t s on t h e e dg e of t h e t a b le look i ng at t h e figu re

v
for a long s pace T h en h e s p e aks i n a low s t ra i n ed
o i ce )
.

a t me like that !
’
.

D o n t look at me lik e that D on t look

I d i dn t know yo u were dea d ’
.
,
’

v
w hen I cursed y o u ( An ot h er pau s e h e s h u dd ers
.

a n d c o e rs h i s fac e w i t h h i s h a n ds )

sta nd i t ( H e s t eals s i len t ly ou t of th e r oom MR

.
God I can t .

.
’

O VE NS s i ts i n h i s s h r ou d i n t h e m oon ligh t mas t er ,

of t h e h ou s e T h e fr on t d oor i s h ear d c los i ng )

v
. .

T he C U RTA I N des cen ds e ry s low l

y .
T H E FI FT H CO M M AN D M E N T
 T H E FI FT H C
O MM A N D ME N T

T he si tt i ng r oom of M RS M O U NTA I N S h ou s e i s a c os y
-
’

v
.

li tt le p lace ra th e r a b u nd a n t ly fu rn i s h ed w i th w e ll w orn
,
-

g
b u t w e ll p re s e r e d fu rn i t u re
-
M os t of t h e t hi ngs w e r e
.

b ough t n ear ly t h i r ty ye ars a o T h e w i n d ow w i th

.
,

b li n d s d ra w n i s faci ng t h e s pect a t or
, T h e fi r ep lace i s .

i n th e w al l on h i s r igh t t h e d o or i n t h e w a ll on h i s left
, .

T h e s ofa a s a r u le i s u n der t h e w i n d ow b u t t o n igh t

, , ,
-

i t h a s b e en pu lled ou t fr om t h e w a ll at a n a ng le t u rn ed ,

w i th i ts h e a d u p s t ag e a n d t ow ar ds t h e fi re place s o ,

t h at t h e o ccu pan t ca n e nj oy t h e w arm t h of t h e fi re An .

g
armch a i r i s on t h e oth er s i de of th e h earth faci ng t h e ,

g
s ofa T h e t a b le n ot a b i di n i n g t a b le b u t a pre tty -

v
.
, ,

o ld fa s h i on ed g a t e le
-
t a b le h a s b e e n p u s h e d a li tt le
-
,

t o t h e s p ect at or s left t o le a e r o om t o p as s b etw een i t

’
,

an d t h e s ofa . A ch a i r i s n e ar i t an d ot h e r ch a i rs an d
,

fu rn i tu re a re a b ou t t h e r oom A s m a ll t ab le s tan ds .

n e ar t h e h e a d of t h e s ofa T h e fire i s ligh t ed a n d s o

v
.
,

g
a re t h e gas es on e ac h s i d e of t h e fi re p lace

v
.

M RS M O U NTA I N a b i s t ou t flor i d w om an of o e r
.
, , ,

fif yt ,i s l y i n g on t h e s of a H er h a i.r i s er y f a i r n ow ,

t u rn i ng g r ey a n d s h e w e ars i t pufi e d ou t
'

, S he is .

w ear i ng a n e la b orat e p a le c olou r e d d r es s -

r a t h e r t oo ,

y ou ng f o r h er E y
. e g la s s es a re o n h er n os e S h e h as .

a lw ays a qu e ru lou s d i s sati sfi ed look e xcept w h en s h e

, ,

v
tr i es t o b e n i ce w h i ch i s n ot often
, M RS M O U NTA I N
i s rea d i ng a n o el fr om a s u b u rb an c i rcu lat i ng li b rary
. .

77
.
78 T H E F I F TH C O M MAN DME NT
P r e s en t ly sh e clos es t h e b ook an d s tret ch e s
ya wn s an d

W
,

h e r arms T h e b ook s li p s fr om h er fi nge rs a n d fa lls

v
.

b eh i n d t h e s ofa on t o t h e fl oor S h e lazi ly t r i es t o p ee r .

o e r t h e b ack of t h e s ofa b u t re laps es aga i n on t o h er

v
,

c u s h i on s a n d r i ng s a s m al l h a n db e ll w hi ch i s on t h e
,

t ab le b y t h e s ofa S h e r i n gs i t e ry lou dly an d long

v
. .

P res en t ly N ELLY M O U NTA I N a capa ble b u t qu i et an d ,

gen t le gi r l of t wen ty fi e open s t h e d oor -

, .

N ELL Y
.
. that your b ell I heard mother 9
as

M RS M O U NTA I N I e dropped my novel

N ELLY ( c om i ng forw ard ) Yo u poor th i ng
.
’
v Where i s .
,

it 9
M RS M Beh i nd t h e s o fa
. .

( N ELL Y p
N ELLY You e lost your place t o o
.
i ck
’
s

v
u p t h e n o el )
.

v .

, .

M RS M It doe sn t matter I can t say i t s m y

. .
’
.
’ ’

s tyle What have you been do i ng 9

.

N ELLY P utt i ng away the th i n g s from the laundry

. .

M RS M S O sorry to br ing you all the way down sta i rs

. .
,

dear b u t yo u kn ow
,

N ELLY O f cour s e ; you must k eep as qu i et a s po s

.

’
sib le I d j ust finished when you rang I shall

v
. .

stop w i th you n o w and read for a while .

the east aga i n

. v
( S h e p i cks u p an oth e r n o e l fr om th e la rge t a b le )
M RS M ( s h i e r i ng ) I m s ure the w i nd s got i nto .
’ ’
.

v
.

NELLY D O y o u feel i t 9
.

MRS M Ju st a little
. .
( S h e s h i er s ) . .

NELL Y Why h aven t you got your shawl 9

’
.

( N ELL Y t a k e s a s h a w l f r o m t h e b ac k of t h e a rm

ch ai r and arranges i t r ou n d M RS M O U N .

T A I N S s h ou lders T h en s h e k i sses h e r )
’
. .
 T H E F I F TH C O M MANDME N T 79

M RS M hank yo u d ea r I don t kn ow what I

T
’

v
.
. .
,

should do without yo u .

( N ELLY t ak es u p h er n o e l an d s i ts i n th e arm ,

c h a i r an d pr ep ar es t o rea d )

v
.

M RS M Who S your b ook b y N elly 9

. .
’
,

NELL Y C harles G a r i c e
.

M RS M O h i s i t ! I lik e G a r ic e H e s so
.

v .
’

v
. .
,

romantic Is i t good 9 .

NELL Y Awfully I e got to the most i ntere st ing ’

. .

part n o w .

M RS M I c a n t get o n w i th m i n e a t all I th in k
. .
’
.

i t would a ppeal to yo u I su ppo se yo u wo u ld n t ’

W
.

l ike to c ha nge would yo u 9 ,

N ELL Y B u t I m j ust i n the middle

’

MRS M O h o f cour s e i f y o u re s o in terested—I

. .

’
. . , ,

d are s ay I m ight look a t the G u ardi an i f yo u

co ul d fi n d i t b u t the small print always make s

v
,

W
my he ad a che .

NELLY D on t b e s i lly dear ( S h e pu ts h er n o e l

’
.
.
,

on t h e s ofa an d ta k es MR S M O U NTA I N S away ) ’

.

v
.

MRS M . e ll i f you i n s i st
.
, You can finish it a fter .

’ ’
I e done with it can t you ! Besides I dare , ,

sa y B o b will be ro u nd soon .

NELLY I dare sa y ( A pau s e ) Bob doesn t come

’
. . .

round s o Often as he used t o d oes he 9 ,

g
MRS M I don t k n ow N elly ; he s eems to come a
. .
’
,

good deal P erhaps he th i nk s yo u e not o t

.

s o much t i me o n your ha n ds wh i le I m i ll
’
.

( M RS M O U NTA I N b egi ns t o re ad )
. .

NELL Y B o b s pok e to me very ser i ously last t ime

. .

( M RS M O U NTA I N t a k e s n o n ot i c e )
. .

N ELLY H e w a s at m e again to settle when w e re

’
.

to be m a rried .
80 T H E F I FTH C O MM ANDME N T

( M RS M O U NTA I N g oes on re ad i ng )
. .

NELLY H e got qu i te bad tempered ab out it

.
-
.

M RS M E h 9 Wh at do you s ay dear 9
. .
,

N ELL Y I s ay Bo b got quite angry when I told h i m

.

I couldn t fix the day unt i l you w e r e a l i ttl e b ette r

’
.

M RS M By the w ay N ell y I th i nk I o u ght t o men

v
. .
, ,

t i on i t I don t know I m sure b u t I su pp o se

.
’
,
’
,

i t s a mother s d u t y and I e n ever S h i rk ed tha t

’ ’
,
’
,

come wh a t m a y .

N ELL Y Wh at o n e a rth a re yo u tal k i ng abo u t

. ,

mother 9
M RS M D id yo u k now th a t Bo b t ak e s Glady s
. .

C arpenter to t h e theatre 9
NE LLY ( i n cre du lou s ly) Bob 9 ( S h e r i s es a n d s tan ds
.

b y th e fi re s o t h a t h er m ot h e r ca n t w a tch h er )
’
.

M RS M H e was at t h e H ippodrome w i th her l a st

. .

S atu rday n i ght .

N ELL Y H o w do you k n ow 9
.

M RS M Mrs Willett told me th i s afte rn oo n

. . . .

N ELL Y What does Mrs Willett k n ow about i t 9

. .

M RS M H e r ma i d S arah told her S he w a s in t h e

. . .

gallery w i th her young man and Bob and Gladys ,

C arpenter were i n the arena st alls Yo u se e he .

t ak e s h e r i nto the best s eats .

NE LLY R eally mother i t s too bad o f yo u to go s s i p

’
.
, ,

ab o u t B o b w ith Mrs Willett . .

M RS M Wh at could I do N elly 9 I could n t refu s e

. .
,
’

to l i sten to her If people are k ind e nough to .

come i n a n d try a nd e nterta in m e I ca n t pres u m e ,

’

to d i ct at e what they shall t a l k ab out I ought .

to b e only t o o gratefu l that a n y o n e th in k s o f

me a t all nowaday s , .

( T h ere i s a lou d r i ng at th e fr on t door ) .

 T H E F I F TH C O MMANDME N T 81

NE LL Y T hat s B o b ! ( S h e g oes t o th e d oor ) N o w

’
. .
,

mother don t say a word ab out this I m sure

,
’
.
’

it s a m i stake
’

W
.

( N ELL Y g oe s ou t a n d M RS M O U NTA I N a rr an g es .

h ers elf i n t er esti ng ly i n h er cu s h i on s N ELL Y .

comes i n w i t h B O B P A I NTER a t al l ordi n ar

y ,

look i ng you ng m an of t w en ty n i n e or t hi rty -

,

w i t h a s ligh t m ou s t ach e ) .

B OB ( h earti ly) Well Mrs Mountain . H O

, are yo u . .

to d ay 9
M RS M ( wan ly) I m afraid I m n o t very well
. . .
’ ’
,

Bo b .

( S h e h olds ou t h er h an d li mp ly
) . H e s h a k es it .

B OB S orry to hear th a t
. T h e boss has given me a .

couple o f t i ckets for the theatre H e booked .

them for h i mself and he can t go and I d idn t ’

,
’

r e fu se them y o u b e t , .

( H e sh ows th e t i ck e ts ) .

NELLY H o w lovely
. A re they for the R oyal 9 .

T hat s F red T erry and Julia N eilson

’
.

BOB N o they re for the Gaiety

’
.
.
,

NELLY O h the Gaiety

.
( H er t on e i s d i s app o i n ted )
, . .

’
B O B But they say it s very funny all the s ame
.

v
.

By o n e o f these local authors N o w b u ck u p .

, ,

an d get ready we e no time to lose ’

.

NELLY But—I don t think I c a n come B o b

.
’
, .

B O B What 9
.

NELL Y I don t really

.
’
, .

B O B Wh y n o t 9
.

NELLY I don t like to l ea ve mothe r

’
. .

B O B Wh a t about the s ervant 9

.

NELLY It s her night o u t

.
’
.

B O B Be h a nged to h e r n ight o u t 1
.

VO L . III .
82 T H E F I F TH C O MMAND ME N T
M RS M You kn o w B o b a servant will h ave h e r
. .
, ,

n i ght o u t You can t get them to st ay w i thou t

.
’

it .

B O B Well what ab out N ell y s n i ght o u t !

’ ’
.
, I sn t
sh e ever going to have o n e 9
M RS M I don t want to stand i n her way Yo u
. .
’
.

mu stn t let m e prevent y ou from enj oy i ng you r

’

self N elly i f Bob insist s on yo u going O f cour se

, , .

i t would be very awkw a rd if I were to h av e a

stroke —with n o o n e i n the h o u s e .

B O B ( r e as on i ng ) Yes but why s h ou ld yo u h av e a . ,

s tro k e 9 Yo u look healthy enough D O yo u feel .

like hav i ng o n e 9
M RS M Ye s you may well say that Bob T hat
. .
, , .

s how s h o w much y o u know about my complaint

I never get any sympathy ju st becau se I e a

good colour L et me tell you that a good colour .
,
’
v .

i s o n e o f the very w or st s ymptom s I could po ss ibl y

h ave .

B OB But wh a t i s it that s the matte r w i th y ou

’
.
,

e xa ctl y 9

M RS M O h w ell i f you w i sh me to go i n to all t h e

v
. .
,

—
deta i l s over aga i n but it 11 take s ome tim e I ’
,
’
a ssur e y o u and you e not too much to spare ,

i f y o u re going to the theatre let a lone that

’
,

there are s ome th i ngs that I cou ldn t very well ’

tell yo u .

N ELLY It s no u se B o b mother ca n t be left alo n e

’ ’
. , , .

M RS M ( w i th pr ofou n d res ign at i on ) O h i t doesn t

. . .
,
’

m atter about m e ; it s very good o f you a ll the ’

same—p a ss me my salts dear will you , ,

NE LL Y ( pa ss i ng th e b ott le of s a lts fr om t h e man t elpi ece ) .

D oe s your he ad ache 9
84 T H E F I F TH C O MM ANDME N T
n ever forg ive yourself if yo u c am e b a ck an d found
me s ittin g dead in my chair .

B O B T hat s all r i ght Mrs Mountain

’
.
’
It s s ettled , . . .

We won t talk about it I ll stop her e w i th

’
.
’

Nelly .

NELLY T hank yo u Bob

.
( S h e sm i les at hi m ) , . .

B O B I suppo s e I can have a pipe

.
( H e pu lls i t ou t ) . .

M RS M I don t think i t will do me any h a rm

. .
’
.

B O B O h if there s any doubt ( H e i s pu tti ng i t

’
.
,

b ack ) .

M RS M N o no I insist Yo u mu s t h ave your

. .
, . .

pipe .

B O B V ery w ell
.
( H e fi lls an d li gh ts hi s pi pe )
. .

M RS M Whatever happens I wo n t have it sa i d that

. .
’

I was selfish enough to interfere w i th a nybod y

’
else s comfort .

B O B Well now Mrs Mountain S ince w e re all here

’
.
.
, , ,

I want to have a little talk with yo u .

M RS M N elly was saying just n o w that you

. .

B O B Yes I wa n t to get married

.
, N elly and I h ave .

been engaged close o n four years n o w .

M RS M H o w t i m e fl i es doesn t it 9
. .
,
’

BOB . T hat s what I m thinking

’
I don t l ik e ’
.
’

wast i ng i t When we got engaged we arranged .

to be marr i ed in three years .

NELLY But you k now Bob mother was ill then

.
, , .

B O B I know
. An d sh e s been ill ever s ince O ff and
.
’
,

o n especially when w e begin to tal k ab out fix i ng

,

the day .

M RS M Well i f you th i nk I mak e a m a rtyr o f my s elf

. .
,

for ple a sure

’
B OB I do n t s a y yo u do a n d I don t s ay yo u do n t
’ ’
.
, .

Wh at I say is w h a t doe s i t m atter 9 ,

 T H E F I F TH C O MMANDME NT 85

M RS M O h i t doe s n t matter at all o f course to a

. .
,
’
, ,

great strong man l ik e you what h appen s to a poor

helpless creature like me .

B OB N O no
. I m e an why c an t we get marr i ed i n
, .
,
’

spite Of i t !
NELL Y B u t who would look after mother !
. C ould
sh e —could sh e come and liv e with u s 9

B O B ( de ci dedly) No
M RS M You e no need to say it like that Bob
. .
’
v
. .

, .

g
I m n o t the s ort O f person to push myself where
’

I m not wanted even if I haven t o t a relation

’
,
’

in the world except N elly b arring my s ister ,

J in n y who l ives at N ewca stle o n T yne and

, ,

’
couldn t look after me if sh e were w i lling s eeing ,

that sh e S got a hu sband and eleven ch i ldre n

’

to look after already ; and if that s not e n ou gh ’

fo r o n e woman I don t know

’
, .

B OB N o w look here We re arrang i ng the summe r

v
’
. .

holidays at the warehou s e We e got to do .

’

’
v
it early on s o as not to clash w i th o n e another
,

I e the chance Of ten days at the end o f June

Just the right time for a honeymoon ( H e pro .
.

du ces a p ock et d i ary ) W i ll you fix the day for .

June 2 1 9 T hat s j ust under three months o ff ’

.

NELLY What do you think mother 9

.
,

M RS M Yo u mustn t mind me I shall be dead and ’

vg
. . .

gone by that time as lik ely a s not , .

NELLY ( gen t ly) But dear we e o t to fix i t s ome

’
.
, ,

t i me o r other .

M RS M Fi x i t whenever you plea s e N elly I m

. .
, .
’

not going to stand i n your way If t h e worst .

come s t o the worst I can go into the work house .

B OB O h be damned to the workhouse

.
, ( H e r i s es ) .
86

N ELL Y Bob
BOB (
.

an
T H E F I F TH

gry) What sense i s there i n talk ing ab out

.

the work hou se when you e nearly thre e pound s

a week coming i n as well a s the house
you can afford t o pay a compan i on to come and
look after yo u

.
( H e w alks up an d dow n )
M RS M V ery well N elly s qu i t e at liberty to do
.
hy

.
,
C O MMA NDME N T

’
’
v
.
. W ,

whatever s h e fanc i es if she can endure the thought ,

o f tu rn ing me O f f to die under the hands o f a

stranger .

B OB But you know i t s a bit th i ck i t i s really

’
.
.
, , ,

N elly can t go o n tak ing care o f you to the end

’

o f her life It S not fa i r to her — and i t s n o t

.
’ ’

fair to me e ither , .

M RS M Ah ! S o it s yourself y ou re th i nk i ng o f
. .
’ ’

all the t i me B o b P ainter , .

B OB ( angr i ly) Well i t s onl y natura l for a fello w

’
.
,

to want to get marr i ed I tell you I m s i ck o f .

’

w a iting and I m not go i ng to wa i t much longer

,
’
.

M RS M ( exas perated ) T hen yo u d better ask Gladys

. . .
’

C arp enter to marr y y o u .

B O B E h 9 ( H e s t op s i n s u rpr i s e )
. .

M RS M Yes Yo u may well look l ike that You

. . . .

took her to the H ippodrome and yo u can t deny ,

’

it try as you may

, .

N ELL Y Mother !
.

M RS M D on t mother me in that tone o f vo i ce I

. .
’
.

’
know a mother s duty
N ELL Y Mother p leas e ! I can tru st B o b
’
. I don t
, .

believe he di d tak e Gladys C arpenter to the

H ippodrome .

M RS M What
. . When Mrs W i llett s S arah saw h im .
’
,
88 T HE F I F TH C O MMANDME N T

B OB . Well I better be gett i ng a long

,
’
d .

NELL Y Yo u 11 mis s the curt a in ra i ser w o n t yo u 9

’ ’
-
.
,

B O B S han t m i s s much I dare sa y Good night

’
.
.
, ,

Mrs Mountain . S orry I got my ha ir O ff ju st n o w . .

( M RS M O U NTA I N d oe s n t r e p ly )
.
’
.

B O B ( a t th e d oor ) I d just like a word w i th yo u

’
. ,

N elly

W
.

( B O B g oes ou t an d N ELLY follows h i m ) , .

( As s oon as t h e d oor i s c los ed M RS M O U NTA I N .

s i ts u
p b r i s k ly a n d loo ks t ow ar ds t h e d oor , ,

b u t i t i s c los ed an d s h e can h ea r n oth i ng , .

Accord ingly w i th a grun t of an n oyan ce s h e

t h u m p s t h e cu s h i on s an d li es d own i n h er
form er p os i t i on Ve ry s oon NELL Y comes .

M RS M
NELL Y
. .

H e s ays I
.
h at w a s to y o u 9
e got to let him kn ow to morrow

for certain whether we can be married o n J une 21

’
v
i t he wanted to sa y

M RS M Well o f course N elly you must b e guided

. .
, , ,

b y yo u r o w n feeling s Yo u mustn t th in k o f me
’
. .

’
I don t suppo se I shall be here to troubl e you
much longer .

( N ELLY w a lks t o t h e fi replace w i th ou t r ep lyi ng ) .

O f course he s fond o f Glady s C arpenter there s

,
’
,
’

no doubt ab out that .

NELL Y ( p etti s h ly) I don t want to hear a n y more

’
.

about Gladys C arpenter mother , .

( T h e fr on t d oor b e ll r i ngs ) -
.

M RS M Good grac i ous ! H e s n o t come back

. .
’
,

s urely 9

N ELLY I don t th ink s o ( S h e g oes t o th e w i n dow

’
. .

a n d p e e p s t h r ough t h e b li n d i
) It loo k s rather l k e .

Mr S h o o sm it h
. .
 T H E F I F TH C O MMANDME N T 89

M RS M ( w i th an i ma t i on ) Mr S h o o sm it h
. .

vv
. .

( NELL Y goes ou t M RS M O U NTA I N ju mps u p . .

er er q u i ckl w hi p s t h e s h a w l fr om h e r
y y y , ,

s h ou ld e rs li k e l igh tn i ng ro lls i t u p an d , ,

p u s h e s i t u n der t h e s ofa T h en s h e exam i n es .

h ers e lf i n t h e m an t e l g lass t ou ch es h er h ai r , ,

t ak e s ofi h er eyeg lass es an d s m i les a t h e rs e lf , .

S h e r e arra ng es t h e cu s h i on s a n d aga i n t ak es
h er p lace on t h e s ofa b u t t h i s t i m e s h e s i ts ,

u p r a t h e r t h a n li es d ow n NELLY r et u rns .

w i th MR S H O O S M IT H a s t ou t rat h e r coa rs e
d ow n r igh t h ea lt h y m an offifty fi e )
MR S H O O S M IT H ( b re ezi ly) Good evening Mrs Moun
.
.

.
, ,

-
v .

.
,

ta i n ( H e ru b s h i s h an ds ) N ippy outs i de to
. .

n ight And h o w S yourself 9 .

’

MRS M ( b righ t ly) Much as usual Mr S h o o sm it h

. . .
, . .

MR S Yo u look li ke a blooming rose upo n my

. .
,

wo rd .

M RS M T a ke the armchair Mr S h o o sm it h
. .
, . .

MR S ( p o l i t e ly) L adies first

. . . .

( H e i n d i cates t h e armch a i r t o N ELLY ) .

NELLY O h I m not stoppin g

’
.
, I ve got t o write .
’

g
a note .

MR S T hen that s all r i ht ( H e s i ts i n t h e a rm

’
. . .

ch a i r ) And where s the faithful B o b to night 9

.
’
-

NELLY I m s urprised yo u didn t meet him

’
H e s
’ ’
. .

gone to the theatre .

MR S And why hasn t he tak en yo u 9

. .
’

N ELLY O h I couldn t leave mother

’
. .
,

MR S N ow what a p i ty I wasn t a few m i nutes

’
. .

earlier I could have k ept your mother company

. .

( H e s m i les a t M RS M O U NTA I N w h o s m i les . ,

ch ee rfu lly b ack a t h i m ) .

90 T H E F I F TH C O MMAND ME N T
NE LLY You would n t have been much ’ ’
. u se . It s a

nurse that mother wants

g
.

MR S A n urse
em
. .

M RS M .
( !
. N elly don t be s i ll y ,
’
.

N ELLY I w i sh you could per suade her t o se e D r

. .

H odgk i nson Mr S h o o sm i t h I m alwa y s a sk ing ’

.
, .

her to let me call h i m i n but sh e pret e nd s there s ,

’

noth ing the matter w i th her .

MR S ( a dju s t i ng a pa i r of s pectac les ) But G o d ble ss

. . .
,

my s oul sh e s t h e p i cture o f health L ook a t

,
’
.

her colour
N ELLY T hat s one o f the worst s ympto m s sh e could
’
.

poss ibly have And y o u s e e nobody w i ll bel i ev e

.
,

there s a nyth i ng wrong w i th her wh i le sh e look s

’

s o br i ght and rosy E ven Bob does n t k now h o w

’
.

i ll sh e i s S he s so brave sh e tr i e s to h ide i t from

.
’

people but sh e ca n t h i de i t fro m me

,
’
.

MR S But what s the matter w ith her 9

. .
’

M RS M ( pett i s h ly) T here s noth ing at all t h e m atte r

. . .
’

w i th me I w i sh you d b e quiet N elly

.
’
, .

N ELLY H o w c an yo u talk l ike th a t mother ! D O

.
,

you kn ow Mr S h o o sm it h that I h ave to help

, .
,

her u p sta i rs every night and sh e h a s to h a ve her ,

breakfa st i n bed every morn ing S he s n o t fi t .

’

to get u p for i t Whenever sh e tr i es to do a bit .

o f hou sework sh e get s k n ock ed up d i rectly a n d ,

h as to g iv e i n In fact sh e s been s o weak j ust ’

.
,

lately that sh e couldn t do anyth i ng b u t lie o n ’

that sofa and rea d .

MR S S he a lways seem s ch i rpy e no u gh w he n I m

. .
’

here o f an even ing .

N ELL Y Ye s sh e br i ghte n s u p wonderfully when ever

.
,

a nybody c a ll s I w i sh yo u d loo k in oftener

.
’
.
 T H E FI F TH C O MM ANDME N T
v
92

l i in g in d i gs to drop i n an d enj o y a l ittl e ’

v
,

female s oc i ety n o w an d then .

M RS M We e always been glad to se e you

. .
’
.

MR S T hank you T hank yo u

. .
( A p au s e H e . . .

looks a t h i s w a tch ) Well Mrs Mount a i n I m

’
.
, .
,

afra i d it s good b y e ’
-
.

( M RS M O U NTA I N s tan ds u p an d ojfers h er h an d

. .

MR S H O O S M IT H t ake s i t an d th en ch anges
.
,

hi s m in d ) .

MR S J ust s it down aga i n for a m i nute will yo u !

. .
,

I th i nk I d better tell yo u We re not b o y and’

.
’

g i rl you know We re both o n the w rong s ide

, .
’

o f fifty I tak e it , .

M RS M O h Mr S h o o sm it h
. .
, .

MR S Well I am A ren t you !

. .
, .
’

M RS M ( h es i t at i ng ) Just
. . . .

MR S O f cours e
. . I k new N elly s gett i ng on fo r . .
’

th i rty .

( M RS M O U NTA I N s i ts d ow n aga i n on t h e s ofa )

. .

MR S Well as I say we re o ld enough to talk

. .
, ,
’

pla i nly I don t m in d telling you that I came ’

W
.

here t o n i ght o n purpose to ask you to marr y me

-
.

M RS M Mr S h o o sm i t h ! ( S h e i s genu i n ely s ur
. . .

pr i s e d ) .

MR S I eve n took the l ibert y O f br i ngin g a r i ng

. .

w ith me ( H e pr odu ces i t ) S ee ! It b elonged

. .

to the late Mrs S h o o sm it h ( H e pu ts t h e r i ng . .

b ack i n h i s pock et )
M RS M But—d on t put i t b ack Mr S h o o sm it h
.

v
. . . .
,

MR S . .h y not 9
M RS M I e n o t re fus ed you
v
’
. . .

MR S I e n o t ask ed y o u Mrs Mo u n ta i n
’

M RS M 1—1 thought yo u d id
. . .
.
,

. . .
 T H E F I F TH C O MMA NDME N T 93

MR S N O
. . You don t c atch m e m a rr ying a c o n
.
’

fi rm ed in valid .

g
MRS M But I m not a confirmed i nva lid
. .
’
.

MR S If half O f what N elly said w a s true I u e ss

. .

’
you re confirmed enough to settle my ha sh I .

s h ou ld b e a fool to s t a rt at th i s n e w plac e with a

wife who coul d n t do any housework and h ad t o ’

,

h ave her breakfast in bed every morn i ng .

MRS M You re very cruel Mr S h o o sm it h (S h e

. .
’
, . .

b egi n s t o s ob gen t ly ) I think you might h av e .

k ept you r mouth shut a n d gon e aw ay w i thou t ,

tellin g m e all this .

MR S ( con cern ed ) I m sorry I thou ght you d li ke

’ ’
. . . .

to k n ow I thought you d take i t a s a compl i

.
’

ment .

( M RS M O U NTA I N s o b s a n d
. r i ng s h er h a n db el l) .

MR S U pon my soul I can t understa nd it properly

. .
,
’

e ven yet I always thought what a fin e healthy

.

woma n you were I tell you straight I nearly .

,

got let in I did i ndeed .

( M RS M O U NTA I N ri ngs t h e b ell ) . .

MR S D o yo u want anyth in g 9
. .

MRS M I want N elly to show yo u o u t

. . .

MR S ( t ak en ab ack ) O h all right

. . I ca n tak e a .
, .

h in t ( S h e s ob s ) I sa y I can tak e a h in t Bu t

v v
. . .

you can t b lam e me for n o t marryin g a confirmed

’

in alid I e had s ome M y first w i fe w as a

.
’
.

confirmed in val i d .

( N ELL Y c om es i n w i t h a le tt e r i n h er h an d ) .

NELLY Were you rin g in g 9

.

MRS M Mr S h o o sm it h i s go in g N elly
. . .
, .

NELL Y O h would you m in d po st in g th i s l e tt e r i n

.
,

t h e p i ll a r b o x for me Mr S h o o sm it h 9
-
, .
94 T H E F I F TH C O MMANDMEN T

MR S . P leasure
.
( H e t a k es t h e le tt e r an d t u rn s t o
.

M RS M O U NTA I N an d h alf oyfers h i s h an d ) Good

. .

bye again Mrs Mountain , . .

M RS M ( i gn or i ng h i s h an d ) Good b y e Mr S hoo
. . .
-
, .

g
s mith .

( M R S H O O S M IT.H a n d N ELL Y o ou t M RS . .

M O U NTA I N ru b s h er eyes an d ch ecks w i th

h er h an dk erch i ef N ELL Y r etu rn s ) . .

M RS M (fa i n t ly) I think I 11 h ave m y gru el n o w

. . .
’
,

N elly .

N ELLY Is your head b a d a ga i n 9

.

M RS M Yes ( S h e lean s b ack on h er cu sh i ons and

v
. . .

c los es h er eyes ) .

NELLY Wh y you e dropped your shawl

’
.
, .

( NELLY p i cks u p t h e s h a w l fr om u n de r th e s ofa ,

an d a rra nge s i t r ou n d M RS M O U NTA I N S ’

.

s h ou lde rs S h e goes t ow a rds th e d oor an d

v
.

t h en s t ops ) .

NELLY By the w a y I e wr itten to Bob

’
. , .

( M RS M O U NTA I N j u
. s t o p e n s h e r e
yes ) .

I told him I can t fix any date at present a n d ’

’ ’
and if he can t wait any longer h e d better break
Of f the engageme n t .

( M RS M O U NTA I N s t ares at h er )
. .

Yo u s e e it wasn t —it wasn t fair to Bob

’ ’
, .

( N ELL Y s ee m s as if s h e i s g o i ng t o c on t i n u e ,

b u t s h e d oes n t s a y a n yt h i ng aft e r a ll ; an d
’

aft e r s t an d i ng s t i ll a m om en t t u r n s
q u i ck ly
a n d g o es s t r a i gh t ou t of t h e r oom

M O U NTA I N re ach es for h er n o el an d wi th

a s i gh of c on t e n t s e t t les d own t o i t )
M RS
v .
,
. .

T he C U RTAI N fa lls .
 C HARA CT ER S

FAN C Y .

ALFRED .

ET HELBERT .

D ELI A .

T he c
s en e

C
osm opol i t an B abylon on S e a
,
g
repres en ts t he w ri ti n room of th e
-

- -
.
H otel
1 00 F A N C Y F REE

( A LFRED k n ee lsch a i r on th e oth er s i de of

on th e
t h e d ou ble d es k an d w a tch es F AN C Y ) .

A LFRED I am d i sappo i nted in you F ancy

. I k new
, .

that I should b e disappo i nted i n yo u some da y ,

but I d i d not expect it to come s o s oon .

FAN C Y My dear A lfred pra y do not forget that th i s

.
,

i s no ordin a ry letter .

A LFRED It o u ght not to be S O d iffi cult to tell on e s

’
.

husband that one h a s run away from h i m .

FAN C Y But I h ave had s o l ittle experience

. I d a re .

s a y I shall improve with pract i ce .

A LFRED H o w far have you got 9

.

F AN C Y I 11 read i t to you D a rling E thelbert

’
. .

A LFRED S top . O ught you to call him darling n o w 9

FAN C Y Why not 9
.

A LFRED A s en s itive m i nd might detect someth in g

.

inappropri ate in the a dj ective .

FAN C Y I alway s call him darl i ng when I wr i te to

.

h i m I feel s ure he would feel hurt i f I om i tted

.

to do so o n th i s occ a s i on B e s ide s I a m s t i ll ver y

.
,

fond O f him .

ALFRED P erhap s you a re right We can n ot t o o

. .

s crupulously avo i d wounding h i m .

FAN C Y ( r e a d i ng )
D ARL I N G E THEL B ERT —Yo u w i ll be i nter
,

e st e d to hear that s i nce y o u went to S cotla n d

o n T hursday la s t I have decided to ru n a w a y

with A lfred You cannot have forgotten the

.

promise s w e made each other o n our wedding

day I am not referr i ng to those w e ma de
.

pub licly during the marriag e ceremony but ,

to our private understanding that each should

be entirel y free an d u n tramm e ll e d provided
 FAN C Y F REE 1 01

that the other s health and comfort was not ’

interfered with Yo u will understand there .

,

fore that in leaving you and going away with

,

A lfred I am do i ng nothing that i s contra ry to

o u r agreement Yo u would have b een entitled
.

to complain only if I had in si sted o n b ringing

A lfred home with me .
’

T hat s logic i sn t it 9
’ ’
,

A LFRED Ye s . F em i nin e logic

. .

FAN C Y T hat i s all E thelbert has any r ight t o expect

W
.

from me .

A LFRED H o w do y o u proceed 9
.

FAN C Y I don t
.
’
T hat is the difficulty
. .

A LFRED A t any rate F ancy you have made i t clear

.
, ,

to E thelb ert that y o u have left him T hat i s .

all that is essential Yo u have only to wind up .

now .

F AN CY H o w 9
. Yours fa i thfully 9
A LFRED . h y not Yours formerly 9
FAN C Y But I am afraid that is t o o a b rupt
. E thel .

b ert is so sensit i ve I should like t o wind up with

.

someth i ng k i nd .

A LFRED L et me se e You will b e glad to hear ‘

. .

’
that we are having an awfully j olly time here .

FAN C Y I doub t whether E thelb ert would b e glad to

.

hear it .

A LFRED T hen s omething chatty o r discursive

. T he .

C o smopolitan is an exceedingly n i ce hotel It .

contains no fewer than 2 50 bedrooms each elabor ,

’
ately furnished with all modern conveniences .

FAN C Y E thelbert will hardly care fo r such details

. .

Beside s I do n o t con sider that the C o smopolitan

,

i s such a n i c e hotel .
1 02 FAN C Y FR EE

A LFRED .It is an exceed i ngly expen s ive o n e L et .

u s endeavour to extract a s much enj oyment o u t

o f it a s po s sible .

Grand R e n d e o u s v
FAN C Y I a m sure that I should have prefe rred the
.

A LFRED T h e Grand R e n d e o u s i s i f pos s ible s till v ,

.
,

more expensive .

FAN C Y What does that matter 9

.

A LFRED T o you little o r noth in g

.
, It i s I who .

have to pay the bill .

F AN C Y A lfred you have the s oul o f a stock

.
,

brok er .

A LFRED D O not flatter me

. I have s omet im e s .

hoped I had .

F AN C Y If I had real i sed how usele s s yo u would b e

.

in a n emergency I doubt whether I shou ld h av e

,

ru n away with you .

A LFRED My dear F ancy I d id n o t ru n a w ay w ith

.
,

you i n order to conduct your correspondence .

You Should have advert i sed for a pr ivate s ecretary .

I h ad hoped to be s ometh in g more to yo u than

th at .

F AN C Y ( r i s i ng ) I shall go to my room
. It i s qu it e .

i mpo s sible for me to fin i sh this letter here .

A LFRED Why 9 .

FAN C Y T hi s room i s far too cro w ded

. .

A LFRED T h i s is not a quarrel I t ru st F a n cy

.
, , .

FAN C Y C erta i nly n o t

. I hope I have too mu ch tact
.

to quarrel w i th you o n the first d ay o f o u r elope

ment .

( FAN C Y goes t o th e door w i th h er lett er ) .

A LFRED Whe n m ay I e x pect to s e e yo u aga in 9

.

F AN C Y T h e last po st goe s a t m idn ight

. .
 1 04 FA N C Y F REE

A LFRED I prom i sed my mother before sh e died

.
, ,

that whenever practicable I wo u ld b e i n b e d b y

half past ten
-
.

E THELB ERT But I want to talk to you about F ancy

. .

A LFRED About F ancy

. D o yo u th i nk y o u ought to
talk to me ab out F ancy 9 T h e relations o f a
husb and and wife should be sacred surely , .

E THEL B ERT I want to a sk your adv i ce Alfred I

. , .

have begun to suspect that F ancy is growing tired

Of me .

A LFRED ( look i ng a t h i s w at ch ) I mu st pos it ively be i n .

’
bed before ten o clock
E THEL B ERT Why does a woman grow tired o f a
.

man 9
A LFRED Becau s e the last post goes at m i dnight
. .

E THEL B ERT N O Because sh e prefers somebody else

. . .

A LFRED ( i n te res ted ) D O y o u su spect that Fan cy i s i n

.

love w i th s omebody el s e 9
E THEL B ERT I do . .

A LFRED Who is he 9
.

E THEL B ERT I have n o i dea I w i sh I had

. . .

A LFRED D on t y o u th i nk y o u will be much happ i er

’

W
.

i f yo u remain i n ignorance 9
E THEL B ERT O h I am not th i nk i ng Of myself I am
.
, .

think i ng O f him .

A LFRED Indeed
. .

E THELB ERT Y e s I should lik e to warn him

. . .

A LFRED T o warn him 9

.

E THEL B ERT I m afraid sh e 11 be ru nning aw ay w ith

.
’ ’

the poor fello w .

A LFRED ( u n eas i ly) h y do yo u call h i m a poor

.

fellow 9
E THEL B ERT F ancy i s s o terribly extravagant S h e
. .
 FAN C Y F REE 1 05

spend s money like water e specially when it i s n o t

,

her o w n .

A LFRED ( u n th i n k i ng ly) H ave you found that o u t

v
.
,

t oo 9
E THELB ERT O f course I
.
’
found it o u t and so e ,

would you if you had been married to her as long

a s I have C andidly I m afraid F ancy will ru i n
.
,
’

the poor fellow .

A LFRED What has that to do with you 9

.

E T HEL B ERT I hope I am a humane person Alfred

.
, .

I would not willingly se e my worst enemy reduced

to the work house and this poor fellow may b e
,

o n e o f my friends I should b e intensely sorry if

.

o n e o f my friend s ruined himself for the sake o f

my wife I can assure you that sh e i s n o t worth

.

it In my experience very fe w women are

.
,
.

A LFRED E thelbert forgive me if I point o u t that

.
,

y o u are n o t loo k ing at this affa i r in the proper

way .

E THEL B ERT Indeed 9 In what way do yo u con

.

sider that I ought to look at i t 9

A LFRED D o you mean to s a y that you are n o t
.

indignant at the idea Of another man eloping w i th

your wife 9
E THEL B ERT N ot i n the least
. .

A LFRED ( w arm ly ) T hen you ought to b e that s all

’
.
.
,

E T HEL B ER T When I married F ancy we arranged to

.

leave each other absolutely free I am a gentle .

man Alfred y o u would n o t have me b reak my

,

word .

A LFRED But it i s quite inconceivable

. Yo u are
without any s ense o f moral respons i b i lity Yo u .

ought to be a sh a med o f yourself .

1 06 FA N C Y F REE

E THEL B ERT I very Often am A ren t yo u 9

. .
’

A LFRED C erta i nly n o t

. I regulate my life I am
.
,

thankful to say by a strict rule of conduct wh i ch

, ,

I ob serve as closely as possible If I have lapses . ,

s o much the worse T hey are regrettable but

. ,

not unn atural At any rate I have the i mmense

.
,

con s olat i on o f knowing that my pr in ciples are n o t

lax but that I have merely failed to adhere to
,

them for once i n a way

E THEL B ERT Believe me A lfred i t i s a m i stak e to
.
, ,

have too many pr i nciples .

A LFRED Why !
.

E THEL B ERT Becau s e if yo u have t o o many i t i s

.

quite i mpossible to st i ck to them all I content .

myself w ith o n e only .

A LFRED What i s that 9

.

E THELB ERT N ever be a hypocr ite It i s an excel

. .

lent max im It perm its you to do whatever yo u

.

please provided y o u don t pretend y ou are n o t

,
’

do i ng it I adv i se you to adopt i t and to drop all

.

your other pr in ciples .

A LFRED D O you insinuate that I am a hypocrite 9

.

E THEL B ERT N ot at all

. .

A LFRED T hen y o u are wrong

. I am . .

E THELB ERT R eally 9 You grow more i nterest i ng

.

every day .

A LFRED P lease do not flatter me

. I am conscious .

that I do not deserve it E thelb ert your de .

,

p lo rab le views about morality have awakened my

consc i ence I must conceal the t ruth from y o u

.

no longer Beside s I think i t is ex tremely

.
,

probable that you wo u ld h ave found i t o u t i n

any case very shortly .
1 08 FAN C Y F REE

E THEL B ERT . Well ,

and how do y o u get on w i th
F ancy 9
A LFRED . I hardly th ink I am just i fied i n ventur i ng
upon an op i n i on upon such a sl ight a cqu ain t
ance .

E THEL B ERT I wonder i f I ma y pre su me to o ffer yo u

.

some advice 9
A LFRED By all mean s
. .

E THEL B ERT If yo u are go i ng to succeed i n manag

.

ing F ancy you will have to put your foot dow n at

,

once .

A LFRED P ut my foot down 9

.

E THEL B ERT H o w much have you spent to d ay 9

.

ALFRED About seven hundred and fifty pounds

. .

E THEL B ERT I thought so

. .

A LFRED F ancy bought a motor car th i s aftern oo n

.
-
.

E THEL B ERT S he will buy another t o morrow

.
-
.

A LFRED But I can t afford i t

.
’
H o w did yo u s u c .

o ecd i n curbing her extravagance 9

E THEL B ERT I threatened to advert i se in the papers

.

that I should n o t be responsible for any deb ts

contracted by my w i fe .

ALFRED S ince sh e i s not my w i fe I c a n hard ly do

.

that can I 9
,

E THEL B ERT Yo u m ight advertise that you w i ll

.

n o t be respons ible for any debts contracted b y

m y wife .

A LFRED D o n t y ou th i nk th a t w o u ld be a l ittle
’
.

po in ted 9
E THEL B ERT P erhaps it would
. .

A LFRED N o E thelbert there is only o n e wa y o u t

.
, ,

o f the d i fficult y I w il l re s ign F ancy to y o u

. .

E THEL B ERT N o t o n any a ccou n t

. .
 FAN C Y F REE 1 09

ALFRE D ( ri s i ng ) Yes . . I c an not allo w you to outb i d

me in genero s it y . I w i ll go and find her and bring
her to you .

E THELB ERT ( ri s i ng ) F or he aven s sak e don t tell

.
’
,
’

my w i fe I am s tayin g here .

A LFRED Why not 9

.

E THEL B ERT B ecaus e I am n o t alone

. .

A LFRED No t alon e 9
.

E THEL B ERT H e r name is D el i a

. .

A LFRED ( i n d ign an t ly) E thelbert .

E THELB ERT Well Alfred 9

.
,

A LFRED Y o u shock me gravely

.
, .

E THELB ERT You are very thin skinned H ave y o u

.
-
.

already forgotten what errand brought yo u to

thi s hotel 9
A LFRED ( w i th d ign i ty) T here is no reason why you.

should make my lapse an excuse for your o w n .

H ave you thought of your wife 9

E THEL B ERT S he need never know unless you tell
.
,

her .

A LFRED I thought you said that F ancy and you

.

agreed to leave each other entirely free .

E THEL B ERT We gave each other o u r word o f

.

honour .

A LFRED T hen why do yo u w i sh to hide the t ru th

.

from her 9
E THEL B ERT F ancy i s n o t a gentleman S he is a
. .

woman S he does not understand the me an i ng

.

o f honour .

A LFRED Yo u are trifling

. I regret to s ay E thel .
,

b ert that I shall consider it my duty to inform

,

your wife immediately O f the whole deplorabl e

b u s in e s s .
110 FAN C Y F R EE

E THEL B ERT S o . be it . Far be i t from me t o try

and in duce yo u to a ct contrary to t h e d i ctate s o f
yo u r con s c i ence .

( FAN C Y c omes i n L w i th a lett er ) . .

FAN C Y . E thelbert !
E THEL B ERT F ancy !
.

FAN C Y H o w fortunate ! I can give you th i s letter

.

now T hat w i ll s ave a penny stamp

. .

E THEL B ERT T hank you I will de stroy the letter

. . .

( H e t ear s i t a n d t h r ow s i t i n t h e
fire ) .

FAN C Y O h why did you do that !

.
, It took me
such a long t i me to write .

E THEL B ERT I am already aware o f i t s contents

. .

FAN C Y You have told him A lfred 9

.
,

A LFRED Ye s . .

FAN C Y T hen E thelbert m ay I a sk what you a re

. , ,

do i ng here 9 I con si der i t gro ssly indelicate O f

you to follow u s a b out like th i s Yo u wouldn t .
’

like i t your self .

A LFRED E thelb ert h a s not followed us

. H e has .

come here for a reason o f h i s o w n .

FAN C Y A rea so n o fh i s o w n 9
.

A LFRED Ye s . H o w c an I tell yo u 9 ( A pau se )

. .

H e r name i s D elia .

FAN C Y O h
. Oh E thelbert h o w dare you 9 ,

E THEL B ERT My de a r F ancy you remember wha t

.
,

we a rranged 9
FAN C Y I don t c a re what we a rranged Yo u h av e
’
. .

had the b ad taste to prefer a nother woman to me .

I shall never forgive yo u .

E THEL B ERT But F ancy li sten

.
, , .

g
FAN C Y I shall n o t li sten
’
. I don t want to hear a
.

s i n le word abo u t her Where did yo u me e t her !

.
112 FA N C Y F REE

a lo n e in the L ounge o f a strange hotel b u t h i s ,

tabl e manners are frankly uncivilised D o you .

know that he read s the mo rn ing paper d u r in g

break fast 9
FAN C Y H e never does s o at home
. .

D ELI A Yo u must not e xpect to mak e me b el i eve

.

that .

FAN C Y But i t i s perfectly tru e

. D urin g break fa st
I always read the morning paper my self .

D EL IA Ah no doubt i n self defence

.
,
-
.

FAN C Y N ot at all
. .

D EL IA I suppo s e o n e can become inured to an y

.

thing in time even to Bertie s light break fa s t

, ,
’

conversation .

FAN C Y T hat show s h o w superficial your a cquaint

.

a n ce w ith E thelbert i s I like h i s breakfa st .

conversat i o n b ecau se he goe s o n talking without

s topping C on s equently it i s n o t necessary fo r
.
,

me to pay an y attention to h i m and I can read ,

the mornin g paper i n peace .

E THEL B ERT T hi s i s most unk i nd of yo u b oth My

. .

light b reak fa s t conversation h a s always been

much admired especially b y lad i es ( T o D EL I A )
, . .

I am sure you will alter your opinion if you w i ll

only do me the favour D elia o f listening a l i ttl e , ,

more carefully to morrow morn ing -

.

FAN C Y C erta i nly n o t

. .

E THELB ERT I beg your p a rdon 9

.

F AN C Y S he will have no opportu n ity o f l i st e n i ng to

.

you more carefully .

E THELB ERT Why not 9 .

F AN C Y Because y o u w i ll bre ak fa s t w i th me t o
.

morrow morning .
 FAN C Y F REE 1 13

E THELB ERT O h very well then perhaps

.
, , y u
o will do
me the favour of listening more carefully .

FAN C Y I fancy that during b reakfast to morrow yo u

.
-

will b e fully occup i ed in listening to me for once ,

in a way I do not th i nk that I shall have su ffi

.

cient time to say all I w i sh to s ay to y o u to night -

.

Yo u have provided me with a very fruitful top i c .

E THEL B ERT But my dear F ancy I fear we c an

.
, ,

hardly pursue it to night We both appe a r t o -

.

have prev i ous engagements .

g g
D EL I A ( t o E THEL B ERT ) You have n o prev i ous e n .

a em ent .

E THEL B ERT . D elia !

D EL IA It is cancelled
. .

E T HEL B ERT You are cruel D el i a

.
, .

D EL IA It is your o w n fault H o w can yo u e xpect

. .

any self respect i ng woman to put up w i th the

-

treatment I have received from yo u 9

FAN C Y May I ask what further compla i nt yo u have
.

to make a b out my husb a nd 9

D ELI A H e h a s no s ense o f decency I cons i der i t
. .

grossly indel i cat e Of h i m to bring me to th i s

hotel whilst y o u are stopp in g here I have never .

b een treated in such a manner before .

FAN C Y I think you tak e a very proper V i ew o f t h e

.

affa i r E thelb ert ought to b e thoroughly ash amed

.

Of himself .

D EL I A Good b ye Bertie ( S h e h olds ou t h er h an d )

.
-
, . .

I shall never listen to your light breakfast co nversa

tion again .

FAN C Y And good bye Alfred

.
( S h e h olds out h er
-
, .

h a n d ) My only regret is that I shall never k no w

.

what yo u r l ight b reakfast conversation i s like .

VO L. III . H
1 14 FAN C Y F REE

A LFRED . D on t say that

’
Why shouldn t we
, F ancy .
’

all four have b reak fast together in the morning 9

D ELI A N O I am sorry b u t I mu st draw the lin e
. . ,

somewhere .

FAN C Y Yo u are r ight

. You have the mo st perfect
.

ta ste I am beg i nn i n g to a dm i re y o u i mmen s ely

. .

Good bye -
.

D EL I A Good bye
.
-
.

FAN C Y Good n i ght A lfre d

.
,

A LFRED Good night F ancy

.
, .

F AN C Y C ome E thelbert
.
, ( S h e t ak es h i s arm )
. .

g
E THEL B ERT ( t o D EL I A an d A LFRED ) Good night . .

( FAN C Y an d E THEL B ERT o ou t L A pau s e ) . .

D EL I A ( ra i s i ng h er eyeb r ows ) Well 9 .

ALFRED Well ! .

D EL I A And wh at do we do now 9
.

A LFRED Would y o u l ike some supper 9

.

D EL I A N o thank s ( S h e s i ts i n an armch a i r b y t h e
.
, .

fi re ) You may order me some champagne i f you

.

lik e .

A LFRED W i ll ingly
. .

( ALFRED r i ngs an e lectr i c b e ll an d th en s i ts ,

faci ng D EL IA i n th e oth er armch a i r T h ey .

look s t ra igh t a t each oth e r for a t i m e )

vg
.

D ELI A ( at length lean i ng forw ard ) D O yo u k now

, .
,

o t the most del i ghtfully w i ck ed eye s

’

yo u e .

T he C U RTA I N fa lls .

( T h i s p lay s h ou ld b e a cted w i th t h e m os t perfect

s e ri ou s n ess a n d p o li s h It s h ou ld n ot b e p layed i n a
.

s p i r i t of b u r les qu e It s h ou ld b e b e a u tifu lly acte d

. ,

b ea u tifu lly c os tu med an d b ea u t ifu lly s tage d )

, .
 C H AR A CTE R S

PH I PP S (a B u t ler) .

LAD Y FANNY .

SI R G ERALD .

SCENE — SI R
. G E RALD
’
S li b rary .
1 20 PH I PP S
L AD Y F Well why don t you hit me 9 I m w a it ing
.
,
’ ’

to be h it ( S h e tu rns h er ch eek meekly t ow ar ds

.

hi m a s if i t w ere a k i s s s h e i s expect i ng a n d n ot a
,

b low )
S IR G ERALD E r—yes
.

But I do n t th i nk that s ’ ’

quite the—e r—quite the idea

. .

L AD Y F Yo u are reluctant to str ike a woman eve n

.
,

i f she i s your w i fe 9
S IR G On the contrary
. If I mu s t strike a woman
.
,

I prefer t h at sh e b e my wife I have n o ob j ectio n .

to s tr ik i ng y o u my dear only i t is no good do in g

,

it i n pr i vate In that case y o u would be unabl e

.
,

to prove my cruelty .

L AD Y F T h e judge ought to take my word for that

. .

Inde ed if t h e case comes befo r e S ir F rederick

,

M itchie I am sure he w i ll b ecau se I know h im s o

, ,

w ell .

S IR G Si r F reder i ck i s a model Of courtesy and I a m

. ,

certa i n that he will spare y o u all the troub le h e

pos s i bly can ; but I am afraid that he w i ll con
firm my v i ew th at the law i ns i sts upon my be i ng
cruel to you i n pub lic .

L AD Y F It w i ll not be necessary I trust fo r yo u t o

.
, ,

s tr ik e m e at the O pera o r the R itz 9

S IR G T h at would be overdo i ng it
. It would betray .

the amateur R et i cence is the mark o f the tru e

.

artist But if you w i sh to get a d ivorce there

.

must be a w itness o f some sort when I str ik e yo u .

L AD Y F R ing for the s ervants

. .

S IR G ( s h ocke d ) T h e s ervants
. . My dear ! P erhaps
I am p rudish and even Old fashioned b u t t h e -
,

servants
L AD Y F T hen on e o f the servants
. .
 PH I PP S 1 21

S IRG Which o n e 9

v
.

L AD Y F What do yo u think a b out C ook 9

.

S IR G I n e e r think ab ou t C ook

W
. .

L AD Y F I mean a s a witness
. .

S IR G O h . I am afra i d that C ook might be i nclined

to talk .

L AD Y F P erhaps yo u are right S he is naturally a

. .

gossip I s uggested her b ecause sh e has already

.

b een marr ied three t i mes and would prob ab ly ,

make an interested and even a sympathetic

S pectator .

S IR G h y n o t your maid 9
.

L AD Y F R ob inson 9 N 0 R ob i nson know s qu ite

. .

enough ab out me already .

S R
I G .T here s that parlour maid — the one with fr i zzy
’
-

hair .

LAD Y F S he is mu ch t o o young I sho u ld prefer

. .

P hipps .

S IR G P hipp s . My dear F anny do yo u think ,

P hipps would like it 9

L AD Y F Yo u might hint to h i m th at we w ould con
.

sider i t in his wages .

S IR G But P hipps i s a most re spectable m an

. .

L AD Y F T hat is why I should prefer him H e is

. .

discreet I could place myself in h i s h a nds w ith

.

o u t reserve .

S IR G H e is certainly a perfect butler

. .

L AD Y F Will yo u r i ng for him dear 9

.
,

S IR G W i llingly
. .

( S IR G ERALD ri ngs t h e b e ll ) .

L AD Y F You ab solutely decline t o give me t ho s e

.

pearls 9
S IR G Ab solutely
. .
1 22 PH I PP S
L AD Y F . V ery w ell . As s oon as P h ipp s a rr ive s you,

w ill b e good eno u gh to s trik e me .

S IR G C ert ain l y
. T hat i s the i dea I bel i eve
.
, .

L AD Y F Ye s I th i nk about here
.

v
.

( S h e c h oos e s a p os i t i on i n t h e m i ddle o f t h e

r oom an d p laces S IR G ERALD c on en i en t ly

,

opp os i t e t o h er ) .

T hat will do n i cely By the way Gerald yo u .

, ,

won t hurt me will you 9

’
,

S IR G I am a gentleman F anny
. I h Ope that I shall , .

alwa ys behave a s one no matter wh at provocat i o n ,

you O ffer me .

L AD Y F T hank yo u Gerald
.
, .

S IR G At t h e s a me t ime F anny I mu s t rem i nd y o u

. , ,

that although I shall not use a ctual v i olence it ,

w i ll b e necessary for yo u to convey the i mpressio n

that I am hurting you .

L AD Y F O h I see O f cours e ( S h e n ods ) V ery

.
, . . .

well I prom i se you I ll do that H u sh here

.
’
.
,

h e is .

( T h ey t ak e u p t h e i r att i tu des aga i n )

v
.

( P H I PPS a large p leas an t d i s cre et m an offor ty

, , ,

fi e e n t ers an d s tan ds b y th e d oor )

, .

L AD Y F ( as b efore ) V ery well then hit m e ! H it

. .
,

me H i t me d o yo u hear 9 ,

( S IR G ERALD s teps forward an d str i k es L AD Y

(C
F ANN Y )
ryi ng ou t ) O h
co w a rd
Oh
.

Yo u e h i t m e Yo u ’
v
( L AD Y FANNY c ollap s es i n t o t h e eas y ch a i r

vv v
,

s obb i ng H er pr os tra t i on i s s o c omp let e t h at

.

s h e m igh t h a e b een ru n o e r b y a s t eam

roller i n s t e a d of h a i ng b een ra th er d e li ca t e ly
,
1 24 PH I PP S
It w asyour i dea to ring for P hipp s ( T o P H I PPS ) . .

G O away and s end C ook here , .

P H I PPS I am s orry s i r but unless I can have some

.
, ,

assurance that you will b ehave yourself I cannot ,

trust you w i th any woman not even w ith C ook , .

L AD Y F But what do yo u propo s e to do n o w Phipps 9

.
,

We cannot prolong thi s situation indefinitely .

P H I PP S I propose to remain here until I have S ir

.

Gerald s word o f honour that he will str ike neither

’

you my lady nor C ook for whom he asks in his

, , ,

wrath in the hope no doub t t hat I shall permit , ,

him to treat her differently from yo u because O f

her inferior station It i s tru e that C ook s father .
’

is a greengrocer in the E dgware R oad and that ,

yours my lady is a D uke But though I am a

, , .

sound C on s ervative in politics I confe ss that I ,

am unabl e to consider distinction s o f rank where

a woma n is i n d i stre s s o r danger In such a ca s e .

a s th i s I am not a b u tler but a man and as a , ,

man I feel that I stand in loco parenti s both to

y o u ,my lady and to C ook , I represent Mr . .

P erkins the greengrocer as well a s h i s Grace

, , .

L AD Y F P hipps ! H o w blind I have been ! Yo u

.

h ave been a perfect b utler for three years w ithout

my e ver s uspecting that y o u were a man .

P H I PPS Ye s my lady that i s the secret o f my succes s

.
, ,

g
a s a butler .

( S IR G ERALD m a k e s a n a tt emp t t o e t u p ) .

D o you mind remaining in a semi recumbent -

posture s i r 9 ( T o L AD Y FANN Y ) I am ex
, .

t re m e ly sorry that I have forgotten my s elf o n

this occasion my lady but I can a s sure you
, ,

that I shall try and not let it occur a ga i n .

 PH I PP S 125

S IR G Fo r heaven s sake F anny make the fellow

.
’
, ,

let me get up !
L AD Y F O h yes Ph i pps yo u must allow S ir Gerald
.
, ,

t o get up n o w I undertake that he will b ehave

.

himself .

P H I PPS Very good my lady

.
, .

( P H I PPS as s i s ts S IR G ERALD t o r i s e ) .

I can take your word for it I am sure , .

( P H I P PS t akes a s m a ll c loth e s b ru s h ou t of a des k -

dra w e r a n d b ru s h es S IR G ERALD S c oa t )
’
, .

LAD Y F We are very much o b liged to you Phipps

.
,

perhaps I should say I am very much obliged

-

to you— for the devotion you have shown to

day It is painful for me to have to tell you
.

that it is mistaken Yo u have b een deceived by .

appearances .

P H I PP S ( b rus h i ng ) Appearances my lady 9

.
,

LAD Y F P erhaps I should s a y b y my talent for act ing

. .

Yo u never s a w me play in the theatricals at

T a t sw o rt h in the o ld days did you 9 ,

P H I P PS I never had that pleasure my lady

.
, .

v
( P H I PP S replaces t h e b ru s h an d s tan ds a tten
t i e ly b y L AD Y FANN Y )
LAD Y F O n more than o n e occas i on I was m i staken
.
.
,

for a professional .

P H I P PS A profe ssional actress my lady 9

.
,

LAD Y F C ertainly . .

P H I PPS I am n o t surpri sed my lady it i s surprising

.
,

h o w little experience some o f our b est known -

actre s se s possess .

S IR G D amn it all we seem to b e dri ft i ng i nto a

.
,

discussion ab out the stage now

L AD Y F O ne moment Gerald Phipps I fin d is an
. ,
. , ,
1 26 PH I PP S
intelligent critic o f modern acting ( T o P H I PPS ) . .

Yo u never realised that when S ir Gerald stru ck

me my emotion a l outb urst was assumed 9
P H I P PS N ot for one moment my lady
.
, .

L AD Y F H e is an extr e me ly intelligent cr i t i c o f a cting

.

Si r Gerald d i d not hurt me Ph ipp s A t least n o t , .

,

very much .

g
P H I PPS I cannot i mag i ne Si r Gerald hu rt i ng an y
.

b ody very much ( T o S IR G ERALD ) I b e your

. .

pardon s i r I m sure you did your best

,
’
.

S IR G D on t apolog i se to me pray
’ ’
. I can t help , .

feel i ng that you would b e able to d i scuss my

character more freely i f you would allow me to
retire .

P H I PPS N ot at all s i r Your presence doe s n o t

.
, .

embarra ss us i n the least .

L AD Y F I ask ed S ir Gerald to str ik e me

. .

P H I PPS Ah my lady it i s good Of you to try and

.
, ,

sh i eld S ir Gerald You 11 be tell in g me next .

’

th at y o u rang for me i n order to come and se e

h i m strike y o u .

L AD Y F As a matter o f fact that i s prec i s ely what

.
,

d i d occur We were in a sl ight domestic d iffi culty

.
,

and we requ i red your ass i stance .

S IR G L ook here
. Is there any need to tell all th i s
to P h ipps 9
P H I PPS If I am to be o f any u se s i r i t w i ll be n e c e s
.
, ,

s ary for you to tell me everything O therwise I .

c a n hardly g i ve you the full b enefit o f my advice .

L AD Y F I have just had a v i olent quarrel w ith S ir

.

Gerald .

P H I PPS I h ave Ob s erved w ith regret that you h ave

.

had a great many quarrels w ith S ir Gerald o f late .

1 28 PH I PP S
P H I PPS O r desertion and cruelty
. .

L AD Y F T here i s no difference T
. . he o ne i mplies the
other N ow do yo u understand o u r di fficulty 9
.

P H I PPS F orgive me my lady if I s a y that the d iffi

.
, ,

culty does n o t seem to me an insuperab l e o n e .

L AD Y F O h the de s ertion o r what do you call it

.
,
- - - -

would be easy enough o f course especially to , ,

S ir Gerald It is the cruelty that presents the

.

di ffi cult y Yo u s e e whatever S ir Gerald h a s

.
,

done he has never m ade a pract i ce o f h i tt i ng

,

me .

S IR G I hope I k now where to draw the l i ne

. .

L AD Y F We were expecting that you would under

.

stand everyth ing and would help to make thing s ,

all S O easy for us P hipps am I to be d i sappointed

.
,

i n you after all 9 ,

P H I PPS N O my lady T hat shall never be ( T o

.
, . .

S IR G ERALD ) Yo u and her ladysh i p h ave

.

defin i tely decided to s eparate 9

S IR G Yes
. .

P H I PPS N oth i ng I c a n s a y will prevent y o u 9

.

S IR G N othing
. .

LAD Y F N othing . .

P H I PPS T here i s—excuse me— no other lady 9

.

S IR G C ertainly n o t I can t afford to k eep her ’

. .

lady sh i p let alone anybody else

, .

L AD Y F Yo u shall n o t have to reproach me w ith

.

that much longer .

P H I P PS T hen may I point o u t th at you have selected

.

a most unpleasant mode o f accomplish i ng your

Ob j ect T O divorce S ir Gerald it will be necessary
.

for yo u t o transact a lo t Of cumb ersome legal

b u s i ne ss to appear in court and h ave your
,
 PH I PP S 1 29

photograph i n the paper s and generally to o

through a great deal o f disagreeab le public ity
,

.
g
L AD Y F All that i s qu it e tru e but I do n t se e how
.
,
’

it can be avoided .

P H I PPS ! uite ea si ly my lad y

.
, .

LAD Y F H o w 9 .

P H I PPS By lett i ng Si r Gerald divorce you

. .

L AD Y F D ivorce me ! But I have g ive n h i m n o

.

re ason to do s o .

P H I PPS Ah my lady don t let a l ittle th i ng l ik e

.
, ,
’

that stand in the w ay .

S IR G E h 9
.

P H I P P S It i s all so simple You h av e onl y to

. .

order R ob in so n to pack for you to s elect a ,

congenial companion and to leav e t h e country , .

S ir Gerald does the re st It i s a s e a sy a s tak ing .

a Kodak photograph .

L AD Y F R eally Ph ipps there i s s ometh i ng i n wh at

.
, ,

you s ay Gerald what do yo u think 9

. ,

S IR G Well—i t s an idea
’
. .

( T h ey c on s i der t h e m att er for a m omen t ) .

L AD Y F T here is only o n e thing troubling me

. .

T h e choice Of the what did yo u call him -

,

P hipps 9
P H I PPS T h e congenial companion my lady
.
, .

L AD Y F Ye s T h e congenial companion ! Wh at a
. .

charming way Of putting it .

P H I P PS If you would permit me to su gge st a n ame

. ,

my lady—the E arl o f S kye

L AD Y F T ony ! I m very fond o f T o n y ( S h e
.
’
.

g
c on s i de rs ) H m ! NO P hipp s L ord S kye i s
’
.
, ,

going to N orway salmon fi sh in o n S atu rday - .

We could hardly expect him to put Off h i s trip

VO L III
. . I
130 PH I PP S
j u s t to oblige u s i n th i s trifl ing matter Gerald .

g
C a n t yo u th i nk o f s ome o n e 9
’

S IR G What about H arry R o u h w o o d 9

.

L AD Y F N o go . H e s down with measle s

’
.

S IR G Ow ! Bad luck
.
( H e s cratch es h i s h ea d ) I
. .

dunno w h o we could get .

L AD Y F It s too b a d o f yo u Gerald Yo u are

.
’
, .

s tupid .

( T h ey a ll r eflect w i th th e u tm os t earn es tn ess ) .

P H I PPS I wonder my lady if in this emergenc y

.
, ,

you would allow me to make another suggestion 9

L AD Y F O f course Phipps H ave yo u thought o f
.
, .

some other man 9

P H I PPS I have my lady
.
, .

L AD Y F But i s he available ! H e may have s om e

.

other engagement .

P H I PPS Whether he i s availab le depe n d s u pon you

.

a n d S i r Gerald my lady , .

L AD Y F Why . Who is he 9
P H I PPS I was referr in g to myself my lady
.
, .

L AD Y F You .

S IR G Yo u !
.

( T h e re i s a pau se ) .

L AD Y F O h but P hipps we could hardly e xpect

.
, , ,

y o u to undertake a respons i b i lity o f th i s s ort ,

e spec i ally at your present wages .

P H I PPS It i s true my lady that you have only

.
, ,

e ngaged me a s your butler b u t seeing that you ,

a re placed in a di f fi culty I should be perfectly ,

happy to make myself useful in any capacity .

S IR G It S j olly good Of you P hipp s it is indeed ;

’
. , ,

b u t we couldn t think o f giving yo u s o much

’

troub le .
132 PH I PP S
L AD Y F My poor P hipps ! My he art bl e e d s for
.

you What devotion

.

P H I PP S Yo u do not mind my lady 9

.
,

L AD Y F I have never been loved like this before

. .

It is a n e w sensat i on T ell me more ab out .

yourself Why did your wife divorce you 9

.

P H I PPS Well my lady

.
,

S IR G ( w h o h as b een r oa m i ng a b ou t b ehi n d t h e s e t te e
.

i n s om e agi t a t i on of m i n d ) I s a y I m afra i d I m
’ ’
.
,

in the way here .

P H I P P S N ot at all s i r
.
, .

S IR G I 11 go i nto another room if I am disturbing yo u

’
. .

P H I P PS Believe me sir I had clean forgotten you

.
, ,

were there .

L AD Y F B e qu i et G e rald I don t mind yo u stop

.
, ,
’

ping here i f you won t talk Go on P hipp s ’

.
, .

What is i t that you propose 9

P H I PPS T hat instead o f d ivorcing S ir Gerald you
.
,

adopt the far easier course Of going away with

me and allowing S ir Gerald to divorce yo u T hat .

would be much pleasanter for all parties I .

s hould never have dared to suggest such a thing ,

if it were not that your ladyship and S ir Gera ld

have given each other notice as it were leaving
you so to S peak temporarily without a place
, , .

I can give you no diamonds no pearls my lady

v
.
, ,

All I can offer is the sincere and pent u p devotion -

of a man o f forty fi e in good health and pre -

,

servation C ould yo u bring yourself to accept i t

.
,

my lady 9
L AD Y F ( cl os i ng h er eyes i n rap tu re ) O h th i s i s
. .
,

wonderful ! Gerald you never speak to m e l ik e ,

this .
 PH I PP S 13 3

g
P H I PPS . Yo u
could hardly expect him to do so my ,

lady se e m that yo u are h i s wife

, .

L AD Y F D are I go with you 9 What would i t be

.

like to love a m a n for himself alone 9 ( Look i ng

a t h i m e arn es t ly ) P hipp s—yo u fascinate me .

strangely .

S IR G May I ask what y o u propose to live o n !

.

Will P hipps support yo u o n the emoluments he

gains as b utler o r do y o u yourself intend to take ,

up a posit i on as lady s ma i d 9 ’

P H I PP S T here you touch the ma in diffi culty I fear

. .

that her ladyship will find herself in rather poor

circum stances for a t ime unless you s i r should , , ,

th i nk o f mak ing her a settlement .

S IR G I m damned if I 11 mak e her a settlement

’ ’
. .

L AD Y F Gerald there i s no need to get angry even

.
, ,

if you are ashamed o f b eing mean .

S IR G I m not mean
’
. .

LAD Y F O h y e s you are F irst yo u refuse to buy

.
, .

me the pearl s and now yo u refuse to make u s a ,

s ettlement I call i t w ors e than mean Yo u are

. .

a perfect dog in the manger .

S IR G I didn t refu s e to b u y yo u the pearls I

’
. .

said I couldn t afford to buy them unless I sol d ’

C leveleys .

LAD Y F T hat comes t o much the s ame thing as

.

refusing doesn t it 9 ,
’

P H I PP S My lady I am wait ing fo r your answer

.
,
.

S IR G ( e age r ly) H old o n a b it

. O ne momen t please
. . , ,

P hipps .

P H I PPS ( b ow i ng ) I beg pardon s ir ( H e s t eps b ack a

.
, .

p ac e ) .

S IR G L oo k here F anny
. If I sell C leveleys a n d
, . ,
13 4 P H I P PS

b u y yo u t h e pe a rl s , w i ll yo u prom i se not to a sk
m e fo r a nyth i n g e lse for a whole year 9
L AD Y F A year . is too long I might co n si der s ix
.

month s .

S IR G . S ix month s ( H e looks at P H I PPS an d .

r eflects ) .

( P H I PPS u n d e r t h e i m pr
, es s i on t h a t h e m ay n ow
s pea k t ak es a s t ep for w ar d
, S IR G ERALD .

i n t ercept s hi m qu i ck ly ) .

All right S ix months . .

L AD Y F A nd yo u 11 buy me the pearls 9 T hat s a

.
’ ’

prom i se .

S IR G Yes
. .

L AD Y F T hen there will b e no need for u s to get

.

divorced at all will there 9 ,

P H I PPS ( anx i ou s ly) My lady .

L AD Y F O h yes P hipps I am sorry to d i sappo i nt

.
, .

you P hipps
, .

P H I PPS You ha ve dec i ded to rema i n w i th Si r Gerald

.
,

my lady 9
L AD Y F Fo r t h e pre s ent It w i ll be s o mu ch le ss
. .

trouble a fter a ll But we need not regret the

, .

c i rcu msta nc e which caused us to in vit e your

c o operat i on
-
It h a s enab led us to become more
.

closely acqua i nted than I had thought po s sible .

I am in ten s ely obliged to you for all your k i nd

ne ss Yo u s e e h o w valuable your a dv i c e h a s
.

proved I hope w e shall h ave the benefit o f i t

.

o n many future occa s i ons .

P H I PPS N o my lad y
.
, .

S IR G N o 9
.

P H I PPS N ever aga in my lady

.
, .

L AD Y F O h b u t why n o t P h ipp s 9
.
, ,
1 40 ROS ME RS H OLM

whom Ibsen d i d not s ympath i se do n o t get t h e ,

fa i rest cha n ce o f g i v in g a good acco u nt o f them s elve s .

Kroll l ike h i s near relat i on P a stor Manders i n

, ,

Gh os ts i s perfectly s i ncere and h a s a perfectly good

, ,

v
case o f h i s o w n b u t h i s posit i on appea rs to be exec s
s i e ly narrow and illib eral
,

H e starts heavily hand i

capped as i t were and it i s no wonder if the scratch
.

, ,

players beat h i m ; he h a s not the advantages that

More! ! has i n C a n d i d a— Morel ! to whom Mr S haw .
,

o n e might s a y even concedes fi fteen and whom h e

, ,

yet fairly and s quarely thrashe s in three s tra i ght

s et s
. O f R osmer and the work that s uch a s he
,

may do Ib s en himself has S poken when expla i n i ng

,

h i s V i ew o f t h e nece s s i ty for i ntroduc i ng an aristo

cratic stra i n i nto the life o f a truly democrat i c state .

I a m th i nk i ng he s a i d not Of b i rth nor o f money

,
’
,

nor even o f i ntellect but o f the nobility which grow s

,

o u t o f ch a racter It i s character alone wh i ch can

.

m ak e u s free R osmer however does not strike

.
’
, ,

o n e a s being a man who could be a force at any time

o r i n any c i rcum stances T h e R o s m e rsh o lm i nfluence

.

o n t h e country s i de would count for someth i ng b ut ,

i ntell igent people would hardly b e moved by that

a lone .When a man has to have h i s dr i v i ng force
s uppl i ed lik e a mill owner who rents h i s engine
,
-

—
power a R eb ecca We st supplies R o sm e
s r s —the ’

man i s hardly the mo st su i tab le example for a demo

cra cy de st in ed to become nob le men by pu ri fying
their w ills an d freeing their m i nds b y t h e i r own s tr ength
‘
.
’

O ne h a s heard i t po i nted o u t a s a fault i n Ros mers h olm

th a t the fir st half o f the play i s rather a mystery ;
th at for i n stance we are n o t a ble t o form a ny definite
, ,

conceptio n o fwhat R ebecc a We st really i s C e rta in ly .

 ROS ME RS H OLM 1 41

to E ngli sh eyes the household arrangements are

unnatural O ne would have thought that R osmer
.

would b e peculiarly s ensitive to the danger of criticism

from people with coarse souls and igno b le eyes and
again— a small matter perhaps —o n e would have
expected to find women like R eb ecca and Ma d ame
H elseth ma inta i ning a sort o f armed truce rather
than an en t en te c ordi a le T o return to the charge
.

o f p reliminary i n d e fi n it e n e ss it should b e noted that

,

I b s en s method was to let his characters reveal their

’

inner and outer s elve s gradually ; i t was part o f

t h e drama and a very a b sorb ing part t o o
, And .

when yo u have the character fully revealed at last

you will s e e that earlier touches apparently i rre le ,

vant o r uncertain fall into their places in an ordered

,

g
line.

Mr L ovel pos s e ss es a personality that should o

.

to make a very fair R osmer b u t his mechanical ,

style and the hardness a n d inflexib ility o f his vo i ce

b ecame monotonous and the dead level upon wh i ch
,

he played was d epressing in the end T h e R ector .

K roll o f Mr Jules S haw was earnest enough b u t it

.
,

was marred b y an uncomforta b le exaggerated fu s s i ,

ne ss We were grateful for t h e humanness and

.

unstudied effect o f this quality b u t it was appar ,

ently caused b y insufficient acquaintance with his

part and it touched upon the comic once o r tw i ce
,

in the wrong place It is easy to make a big m i s

.

t ake a b out Miss O ctavi a Kenmore s R ebecca West

’
.

S he i s an actress not temperamentally adapted for

the part b u t there was often great intelligence and
,

sk ill in her handling of the character In her accept .

ance o f the respons ibilit y for the wife s death h o w ’

,
1 42 R OS ME R S H OLM

ever M i s s Kenmore w a s t h e repent an t w oman

,

confe s s ing a sin remor sefully S urely R ebecca i s

.

rather doing a fine th i ng i n the calmne s s o f resolu

tion S he i s re storin g to R osmer h i s happy innocence
.
,

and sh e mu st feel there is a certa i n triu mph a nt nob ility

i n t h e untheatrical s elf sa c rific e In the fourth act
-
.
,

when R eb ecca offers still more nob ly the final proof

, ,

wh i ch R osmer demand s Mi ss Kenmore we thought

, , ,

w a s nearer the right n ote H ere both sh e and Mr

. .

L ovel succeeded in creating a d i st i nct trag i c atmo

sphere and o n e saw them go o u t into the dark ne s s
,

with the conviction that they were to do j ust i ce

upon themselve s that the dead wife was call in g
,

them out into the mill race We had i ndeed s ome

-
.
, ,

thing like a glimp s e o f t h e white hors e s o f Ro sm e rs

holm .
 1 44 PETE R P AN

S yne the formula o f Mr Barrie s nat i ve land

is .
’
.

In every masculine heart there is a chord that once

never failed to thrill respons i ve to such word s a s
cave trap door slid i ng panel bull i on o r S pan i sh
,
-
,
-
, ,

dollars i n eve r y fem i nine heart ( oh artful Mr , .

Barrie ! ) there w a s once a wi stful longing for a doll

with a volition o f its own a doll that would sa y ,

something more than P apa o r Mama when y o u

pulled a string Mr Barrie h a s s i mply touched tho s e
. .

o ld chords and recalled those O ld longin gs and we ,

are grateful enough to follo w him wh eresoever he

c are s to lead us T hose who go away and declare
.

afterward s that t h e pirates and the Ind ians are

exqu i site burle s ques are weak k need people who a re -

a shamed to adm i t the re a l rea son o f their enj oyment ,

and who feel th at they mu st a ccount for their ple a

sure i n a matter o f fa ct way that w ill b e understood
o n the board s o f the R oyal E xchange T h e tru e .

P e t er P an enthusiast k nows it for a fact p i rate s h av e

d anced hornpip e s ever since the day s o f Si r H enry
Morgan ; he know s he knew as soo n a s he could ,

read that R edsk i n s invariably gru n t with the

,

H ugh o f F enimore C ooper and that they detect ,

the approach of a foe b y apply i ng their ears to the

ground H e recognises that the s e characters are
.

true to type and welcome s them a s o ld friends ;

,

for Mr Barrie with his u sual fla i r fo r the correct

.
,

thing h a s b een content to rely b y k i nd perm i s sio n

, ,

o f R o b ert L ouis S tevenson upon ,

K ings t on Ballant yne t h e b rave

an d ,

An d Cooper o f t h e wood an d wave .

T hat h i s calculat i on is a j u st o ne we can af firm by

 PETE R PAN 1 45

recalling the thrill Of delight with which i n the

H om e under the Ground and the H ouse o n the T ree
T op s w e recognised the cave a n d the tree dwell ing -

o u t o f T h e S w i s s Fa m i l Rob i n s on If we s eem to
y .

have laid too much stress upon these o ld gem s and ,

to have neglected t h e r i ch n e w gold o f fancy i n which

they are s e t it i s because we think the pec u l iar u se
,

o f them i s a stroke o f gen i u s which di f ferent i ates

P e t e r P an not only from any other play but also ,

from any other o f Mr Barrie s play s It is o f course

.
’
.
, ,

the company from the D uke o f York s T heatre that ’

i s visit i ng Manche ster this week and most o f t h e ,

parts are filled by the same actors as last year .

T here i s a n e w Wendy however and a n e w S lightly

, ,

( Mr A W Baskcomb ) who i s rather less aggress iv e

. . .
,

and uncouth than his predece s sor though his quiet , ,

natural method is no le s s e ffect ive Mis s Gertru de .

L ang acts Wendy excellently though o n e cannot ,

help hav ing an affect i onate regard for l i ttle M i s s

E lla ! May who was the actual thing
.
, M i s s La ng .

follows closely the l i nes that M i ss H i lda T revelya n

mark ed out ; sh e s t i ck s to what will be handed
down a s the accepted Wendy tradit i on An d i ndeed .

i t could not b e b ettered only adult actresse s will

,

always have more o r less o f a struggle to get down

to the required degree o f childishness and run t h e ,

risk o f overshoot i ng their mark If there was a .

hint of this danger in Miss Lang s performance i t ’

was only a S light hint and she could probably

,

j ustify everything sh e does b y a reference to M i s s

T revelyan We are hoping to have the luck som e
.

day to se e a really boyish P eter P an but meanwh i l e ,

Miss P auline C hase i s good enough to g ive extrem e

VO L . III . K
1 46 P ETE R P AN

plea sure ; and i t must be conceded that after all , ,

M i ss C ha s e make s P eter a very manly little g i rl .

Mr R ob b H arwood as the P irate C aptain might

.

cause us to forget Mr L ionel Mack i nder i f he would

.

only dance a s d iv i nely D ur i ng the s ummer Mr

vv
. .

Barr i e generally dev i s es some n e w i ncident to throw

i n by way o f overwe i ght th i s t i me there i s a lo e l
w a r dance fo r the R edsk i ns and T iger L i ly perform s
-
,

a pas s eu l s ymbol i c i t i s to b e suppo s ed o f s calp i ng s

, , ,

and burn i ngs at the stak e .

A word ab o u t the music A comparat ive barbar ian

.

i n mu s i cal matters approache s the subj ect gingerly ,

but i t i s safe to s a y that Mr J ohn C rook the com

.
,

poser has entered thoroughly into Mr Barr i e s

, .
’

sp i rit H e h a s the most a dm i rable sense Of what

.

i s fitt ing When o n e hears the Yo h o choru s for

.
-
,

i n stance o n e k now s that the pirates are a s i nev itable

,

a s cold lamb in a Welsh hotel .P i rate s leaps to

the l ip s like Mrs T heodore Wr ight s Fi ddle s George !
.
’ ‘
,
’

i n T h e K n igh t of t h e B u rn i ng P e s t le .
1 48 S M I TH

like anyth i ng and take s good care to dodge the

,

tender spots T respassers will b e prosecuted

‘
. is
the motto for Mr Maugham s morality ; he k eep s .
’

to the b eaten track the track that Mr S utro trod ,

.

b efore him and found to lead t o Jericho

, It is only .

fair i ndeed to rememb er that it was Mr S utro who

, ,
.

’
k nocked the first hole in Jericho s walls and that ,

Mr Maugham s play is as o n e m i ght say a case o f

.
’
, ,

once more unto the b reach dear friends , .

T h e modern smart dramat i st looks at S oc i ety ,

and sees at once what is wrong T here are n o t .

enough ba b ies T h i s is the message to b e delivered

.

to S ociety and naturally it needs a s trong man to

,

deliver it with satisfactory emphasis N o w all the .

strong men come from the colonies as the nuts ,

come from B razil and S O Mr Maugham s hero , .

’

com e s from R hodesia wh i ch i s a s good a place a s ,

anywhere F rom the moment h e descends upon

.

L ondon with a b reezy a i r and a tweed t ravelling

,

suit he pos itively radiates healthy influence i n the

,

b est T hird F loor Back manner Inc i dentally he .

deals—the honest Rhodesian — w i th that delicate

question at which we have hinted ab ove ; and i n
his s e t b urn i ng per i ods w e seem to catch the echo
,

o f the voice that shoo k the topmost towers o f Jer i cho .

T h e Rhodesian has come home for a wife b u t amongst ,

these b ridge playing worthless ones there can b e no

-
,

fit wife for him T h e only decent woman i n the .

house is S mith the pa rlour maid and s o not hav i ng

,
-
, ,

the entr é e to any other household apparently he ,

follows the line of least res i stance and proposes t o

her It i s at this point that Mr Maugham s o b serva
. .
’

t i on of s ervants coincides with Mr Barrie s Mr .

’
, .
 S M I TH 1 49

S haw ’
and even Mr Jerome s T O O easily do a ll
s, .
’
.

these au t hors assume that servants always know

,
’
their places and o b j ect o n philosophic grounds , ,

to marrying ab ove them O f course we know well .

that S mith will not go o n refusing the Rhodesian

to the end o f the chapter but it is i nteresting to ,

find her putting up quite a good fight aga i nst h i m o n

the well ascertained p r in ciples
-
.

T h e play is very smartly acted this week at the

P rince s E very member o f the cast really deserves
’
.

favourab le mention for there was n o t a weak S pot any

,

where Mr R o b e r t Minster handled the Rhodesian

. .

tactfully and made him much less o f a prig t han

,

o n e might have expected Mr D ouglas Greet was . .

very clever as an A lgy and Miss E thel H odgk in s ,

gave quite a b rilliant hard performance as a bridge,

playing wife S m i th was acted b y Miss C icely

.

S tuck ey who d id it very nicely indeed T o tell

,
.

the truth you cannot grow enthusiast i c ab out the

acting in Mr Maugham s play s b ecau s e you never
.
’
,

feel that the people are real T hey entertain yo u .

and fade away leav i ng you cold unmoved and i n

, , ,

quite a good humour .

 L I T T LE H A N S A N D ER S E N

T HERE i s nobody i n t h e whole world w h o k n ow s so

m a ny stor i e s a s O le Luk O ie H e can tell cap ital
- -
.

histori es Yo u remember O le Luk O ie o f cou rs e

.
- -
, ,

t h e o ld ge n tleman w i th the umb rella w h i ch he open s

over the good children when they are asleep in bed ,

s o th at they dre a m all n i ght t h e most glor i ou s stor i e s

uk —
.

O le L
-
O ie i s a s ort o f choru s to t h e play which
i s go i ng to fill t h e Gaiety T heatr e each aftern oon
fo r t h e next w eek s h e i s the m a ch in ery w h o w o rk s
t h e ch an ge s and move s the s cene s along ; h e i s
there to point the moral and adorn t h e tale But .

ther e i s non e o f your con s c i ent i ou s S andford and

Merto n s ermon i s i ng H an s A ndersen would hav e
.

non e o f that H e w a s content to let h i s s imple

.

le sson s o f love a n d hu m i l i ty l i e i mpl i c i t in the tale s

th e y w e re there i n a greater o r le ss degree but h e ,

w a s o u t for story telling n o t for s choolma stering

-
, .

A nd w i s el y Mr Ba s i l H ood h a s cho s en h i s th eme s

, , .

g
a mo n g s t t h e l e ast i mprovi n g s tor i e s so w e w i ll not ,

ru dg e O ld Ole Lu k O i e h i s moral tag o r t w o a bou t

- -

se l fi shn e ss ; w e w i ll forg e t all abou t th at u n c o m

fo rt ab le tri ck o f h i s a s h e s oo n do e s h i m s elf—and
-

w i ll pro ce e d to e nj o y our se lve s Fi rst however w e.

, ,

mu st a sk wh y Ole Lu k Oi e i s dre ssed j u st l ik e J oh n

- -

B u ll S a y s H an s A nders en
. H e i s well dre ssed
, ,

h i s c o a t i s o f si lk b u t i t i s i mp o ssi bl e t o say o f w h at
,

1 50
 1 52 L I TTLE H AN S ANDE R S E N

a s w in e -herd and who posse s sed a magic p i pe wh i ch

,

mad e everybody dance to its stra i ns Yes every .

,

body ; the E mperor h i mself the o ld doubled u p ,

-

L ord C hamberlain the R oyal footman ( w h o w as

,

very haughty ) the R oyal butler and the cook s

, ,

and the ho u semaids and the courtiers ; they all

d anced a s if there were noth i ng else in t h e world
worth doing but dance—and when you come t o
th i nk o f i t perhap s they were right In the second .

part t h e s tories are k ept apart a little more H ere .

i s the merma i d w h o b ecame mortal for love o f the

P r in ce whom sh e had saved from the wreck But .

w he n the P r i nc e marr i e s the P r i nce s s t h e S eama i d ,

doe sn t b ecom e s e a foam o n h i s marriage mo rn i ng

’
-
.

N o sh e i s placed o n the shore to warn mar in ers

,

when t h e w i ck ed S e a W i tch tr i e s to lure them t o

destruction and when the curtain goe s up a t t h e
,

end Of the s cene y o u s e e her stand i ng in the dusk

l ik e a rock w i th a br ight light i n her outstretched
,

h an d It is a charming effect that Mr Barrie

v
. .

m ight h a ve bee n proud to invent Mi s s Win i fred.

D e li a n t i i s t h e S eama i d and S he plays her pathetic

,

l i ttl e p a rt bea ut i fully T hen there i s—a lmo s t com

—
.

p l e t e that s plend i d s tory about the hollo w tree

into which t h e s oldier climb ed to fetch t h e t in der box -

for the w i tch and there are the thre e dogs which
,

g
a ppeared when the t i nder box w as ru b bed -
and the ,

eye s o f the fi rst d o are white and of the s econd red , ,

and o f the th i rd green T h e witch i s perfectly .

wonderful w ith black sugar loaf hat nut crack er

,
-
,
-

fac e a n d broomstick ; there i s no m i staking th i s

,

w i tch Mr R udolph L ewis was splendidly vigorous ;

. .

h e s e emed t o ride i n o n the w h i rl w in d an d we e xp ected ,

 L ITTLE H ANS ANDE R S E N 1 53

h i m to turn into a b lack cat at any momen t But .

’
he didn t T hese are the stories and through them
.
,

all dances little Karen t h e selfi sh child who thought

,

only o fherself and wore the red shoes to her c o n firm a

,

tion Karen had to dance always y o u remember

.
, ,

for the red shoe s carried her o n sh e danced i nto t h e

dark woods over th o rn over brier all through the
—
, , ,

world and sh e dances through the play t o o But , .

—here is an ingen i ous bit o f b lending with qu ite

another story—sh e has to dance unt i l sh e finds t h e
lovel i e st ro se in all the world and wha t do yo u th ink ,

that is 9 Why the C hri stmas rose the rose that

, ,

blossomed upon the C ross and Karen dance s always ,

look i ng fo r it And actually Miss E nid Meek i s

.

K aren an O ld friend at the Ga i ety where sh e has

, ,

played l ittle girls b efore But sh e has n ever dan ced

.

b efore and none o f us k new sh e w a s s o g i fted a s sh e

,

turns o u t to be .

T here i s a little hone st knock ab out comedy and ,

Mr H untly G i fford as the E mperor i s re sponsib le

W
.
, ,

for mo st o f this It i s o n rather obv i ou s l i ne s a s

.
,

when he k neels upon the duck to carve i t but h e ,

manages to be very funny A nd we must n o t forget .

Mr W i ll H ind son and Mr C hri stmas Gro s e ( happy

. .

name ) as the Wooden S old i ers with c lockwork i n

the i r tummies T hey acted mo st mechan i cally and
.
,

were n o t a b i t like huma n be in gs and i t is t h e fi rst ,

time we have b een able to prai se actors b y say ing

that about them e have kept the b est u nt i l t h e
.

la st It i s M i s s E llaline M i lls the t i ny dancer T h e

.
, .

fi rst time sh e appear s sh e i s carr i ed o n wrapped u p

i n tis sue paper fo r sh e i s a doll a b i rthd ay pre sent
-
, ,

for the P r i nce ss T h e s econd time sh e tu rn s u p

.
1 54 L ITTLE H ANS ANDE R S E N

without a n y excuse but w e a re only t o o ple a s ed to

,

h av e h e r o n a n y term s S h e i s a m in ia tu re Gen ee
. .

S h e se e m s almo s t t o o t i ny to st and up yet the de a r ,

l ittl e th ing float s e x qu i s itely a bout the s tage l ik e a

bubble an d her toe s are a s del i cat e a s a k itte n s
,
’

p aw s T h e grace o f her l i ttl e arm s and o f her fre e

.

s pont a neou s po s e s i s ama z ing S he i s t h e very c ream

.

o f ch i ld i sh ch a rm R emember to applaud her ver y

.

heartily becau s e i f you do sh e w ill come o n and

,

danc e aga i n for you A nd with H an s sh e will

.
, ,

throw you crack ers a t t h e end of the play .

Well w e have pra ised t h e wh ol e th ing very c o n

,

s i d e rab ly and when it is running quite smoothly

,

( ther e w ere h i tche s ) i t will be a delightful entertain

ment But there w a s one sid e o f the H an s Andersen
.

stor i e s th at w a s qu i t e mi ss i ng except fo r a h i nt i n,

the very short first s cene an d that i s the peasant ,

life A ndersen k n ew a n d loved H e told u s such a .

lo t about the dumb lives l i ved i n the he a rt o f t h e

Jutland fore s ts he drew i n a fe w s i mple words the
,

fi rw o o d s an d t h e heath s t h e lak e s a n d the eel weirs

,
-

and the s ol itary cottage s o f h i s peacefu l Northland .

H i s peasant s w er e so ne a r t h e s oil that when they

were s i le nt and t h e T h i ng s spok e i n ste a d the F ir -

tre e o r t h e W i nd—the tra ns i t i on w a s natural and

impercept ib le T here are no pea sants in Mr Basil
. .

H ood s play an d the only T h ing s that spe ak are

’
,

t h e Wooden S oldiers It h a s bee n left fo r Maur i c e

.

Maeterli n ck to put H an s Andersen completely o n t h e

s tage and he h as do n e i t in T h e B lu e B i r d
, T here .

you w i ll find no fancy no stro k e of poetry no to u ch

, ,

o f gentle philosophy that you c a nnot match a s core

,

of t i mes i n t h e t ale s of H an s C hr i sti an An ders en .

 MR . O VE N S

MR O VENS died
. S aturday and they are b urying
on ,

him this afternoon A s I draw as i de the b lind

.
,

which is lowered sympathetically like all the other ,

b linds i n the road I can see t h e hearse standing at

,

the gate and the mourning coaches drawn up behind

,

it I can s e e t o o the group of b lack garb ed mourners

.
, ,
-

i n t h e ga rden next to m i ne and since the window ,

i s open I can hear what they are saying I gather .

that a po i nt o f precedence is b eing argued Mrs . .

Will O vens mainta i ns her r i ght to ride i n t h e first

coach because sh e i s the widow o f the eldest so n ,

and because Mr O vens was liv i ng w i th her when he

.

died Mr Walter the elder surv iving s o n and his

. .
, ,

wife think that t h ey should r ide i n the first coach ;

while Mr T o m the b achelor thinks that it should
.
, ,

b e occup i ed by himself and Mr Walter alone and .

,

that the women should follow in the s econd coach .

I have always b een int erested i n Mr O vens and .

,

his death o n S aturday almost shocked me for only ,

t w o days b efore I had met him o n his way to the

seat b eh i nd the lifeb oat house where he was accus -
,

t o m e d to rest o n fine mornings You would se e .

him com i ng slowly along the P arade leaning heavily ,

o n h i s st i ck ; stopp i ng short every n o w and then

to stare wistfully out to se a Behind the big spec .

taeles his weak pale blue eyes s eemed alway s to be

,
-

1 57
1 58 MR O VE NS
.

loo k i ng fo r s ometh i ng very far away past the hor i zon , .

I wonder what Mr O vens was look ing for ; perh ap s

.

he h a s found it now H e would talk to h i mself i n

.

an undertone a good deal and though i t w a s im po s ,

s i ble to catch w h at he was say i ng I always suspected ,

h i m of a dim hopelessness in his attitude to t h e world

and o f a d i sparag in g view of i t s inhabitants .

Whe n I first s aw Mr O vens he was s i tt in g in the

.

wa shhou s e attached to the back o f his dwell i ng .

My b ack w i ndows command a view o f h i s yard and ,

I s aw him sitt i ng in the washhouse frequently read ,

i ng My maid Grace w h o i s acquainted with the

.
, ,

a ffa i rs o f all the neighb ours because the back garden ,

walls are low and gossiping i s therefore easy told

, ,

m e that he sat i n the washhouse b ecause there w a s

no other place he could S it i n and b e o u t o f the way .

It appeared that Mrs Will his daughter i n law took

.
,
- -
,

lodgers o r v i s i tors as they are called i n the town

, ,

and dur ing the s ea s on b u siness w a s so good that all

t h e liv in g room s were let and the family had to take
-
,

the i r meals i n the k i tchen But there was no room .

in the k itch en fo r Mr O vens to s it and read H e

. .

got in the way of the cook i ng so o n wet days when , ,

he co u ld n t go to the s eat beh i nd the l i feboat house

’
-
,

he went i nto the washhou s e I don t know what .

’

he would have done o n a wash i ng day ; fortunately

Mrs W i ll was t o o busy to wash at home and s ent
.
,

all her th i ngs to the laundry I can i mag i ne Mrs . .

v
Will saucepan i n hand stumbling over poor Mr
,

O e n s s sh i ns and s ay i ng sharply
’

can t do w i th you in here ; I m too b usy

’
,

Now father I
S he i s ’
, ,

.
’
,
.

always bus y ; sh e i s a pushing energetic woman , .

O n o n e occa s i on when her hou s e w a s very full sh e

, ,
1 60 M R O VE N S.

t op la n d in g w ith a s cree n acro ss and he S leeps ,

’
there .

It w a s Mrs Wi ll herself w h o told me he was dead

. .

I met her coming o u t o f the gate late o n S aturday

evening .
’
It couldn t have happened worse sh e ,
’

s a id , the house full o f v i s itors I suppose I ought .

’
to ask them to go b u t I can t turn them o u t till
,

’
after the week end I wa n ted to ask her whether
-
.

Mr O vens had d i ed o n the top land i ng and whether

.
,

he was n o w fulfilling h i s last v i g i l in the wa shhouse ,

but I forb ore .

I m going now to get some wh i te lil i es to put

’

o n h im
’
s h e added
, I shall go dow n to the m a rk et
.

they 11 be cheaper there than in the shops

’
.
’

T hey have settled that que st i on o f precedence

outs i de i n the next garden now Mrs Will r i des . .

i n the first coach w i th Mr and Mrs Walter Mr

. . . .

T o m and his s i sters r i de in t h e s e cond coach .

 OU T OF T H E S E A S O N

T H E promenade lay like a curved sword w i th t h e

light o n it T h e shimmer o f steel gleamed from the
.

wet asphalt a s the curtain o f cloud parted from the

horizon an d let a little paleness pass across the
,

s tretch of s e a M i st hung ab ove the s e a like steam

.
,

i n patches ; and from where the su n should have

shown the rain pattered undecidedly like the half ,

heart ed fusillade o f b eaten sharpshooters T h e d rop s

.

lashed impudently the faces of great pile s o f pleasure

palace s which s eemed to stare b lankly from a thou
,

s and eye s a s they meekly awaited t h e golden days

w hen the crush o f coun t ies would fl o w through their

corridors like life b lood warming and aw akening
-
,

them to other than mute suffering T h e se a front

.
,

noble in the length and regularit y o f its sweep ,

where for j oyou s miles thousands j ostle in the su n

sh in e was populou s only with a grove o f t ramway
,

standards ; and along the shining rails at long ,

i ntervals sl i d fu rtively an electric car almost the

, ,

o n ly living thing upon that vas t expanse .

T h e footfall o f the Maj or walking solitary upon

,

the pier resounded from the hollow boarding in

,

decently like the tread o f o n e desecra t ing some

,

sa cred place hallowed b y the silence o f centu r ies .

H e turn ed h i s back o n the depressing prospect and ,

came in to lunch with the promptnes s o f o n e to

VOL . III .
L
1 62 OU T O F T H E S E AS ON

whom a meal t i me i s a milestone : he w a s n o t i n

-

ord i nately greedy b u t lunch promi s ed defin it e

,

O ccupat i on for half an hour H e w a s a m i ld man .

,

apologetic w ith waiter s ; accustomed to eat slowly

and to spend a long time at tab le savouring h i s soup ,

del i cately i n order to a s certain the exact quantity

o f s alt and pepper that i t would be necessary to add ,

pour i ng o u t h i s stout with care s o that the froth

should not s well suddenly over the glass rim and
st a in the s nowy whiteness o f the cloth H e took .

pleasure i n s uch m i nute details for they were definitely ,

u s eful n o t merely expedients to while away the t i me

, .

T here was a stranger at the ta b le which he had

h itherto shared w i th no o n e a pleasant little sharp
o ld gentleman with a brown healthy face R ound .

h i s grey steadfast eyes were i nnumera b le crow s

’

feet and h i s high brown forehead was ruled acro ss

,

w i th w r i nkle s like music paper Fo r ten m in ute s .

ne i ther o f them spoke b u t each privately Ob s erved

,

the other h i s dres s and h i s manner o f eating T hen

, , .

the Maj or a s the Olde st re s ident i n the hotel pa s sed

, ,

the salt and the o ld gentleman pa s sed the butter t he s e ,

s mall pol itenesse s evoking d i sproportionate gratitude

and thank s T h e Maj or ordered his stout b u t the o ld

.
,

gentleman declined the serv i ce s o f the wine waiter .

’
I never take anything he explained with a smile
, ,

bobb ing his head at his companion .

N o 9 sa i d the Maj or bending towards h i m ,

gra tefully .

N ot that I di sapprove I don t find it suit s me

.
’
.
’

’
It doe s n t suit some people the Maj or said
’
,

cou rteou sl y and then after a dreadful pause A re

, , ,

y o u s toppi n g long sir 9 ,

1 64 OU T OF T H E S E AS O N

In the afternoon the Maj or took a solitary walk

along the cl i ffs and the o ld gentlema n went o u t
,

alone to V iew the town and inadvertently to encounter

the sanitary alterations at the Grand H otel the ,

a sphalting operation s o n the promenade and the ,

crane and heap o f scrap iron which mark ed the -

improvement s at the entrance t o the pier T hey .

s miled at each other as they sat down to dinner ,

and they di s cu s sed current politics diplomatically ,

feeling about vaguely for each other s su s ceptib ilitie s ’

.

E ach s o modified his real Opin i ons that at the end

v
’
o f it all the Old gentleman cried My dear si r you re
, ,

the first B r i tish officer I e met who has agreed ’

w i th me ! As a matter of fact he was a red hot

’
-

R adical and the Maj or w a s a convinced U nionist ,

and i f they had been friends they would have

quarrelled like dog s .

A play m ade o u t o f o n e of D u m a s s tale s w as be i ng ’

acted a t the theatre and b oth expres sed a w i sh to

,

s e e it D umas said the old gentleman

’
he wrote
M on t e C
.
,

s ome good b ooks r i s t o E dmond D ant es

.
,

v
.

the C h ateau d If ’
very fine very well con

gg
ce i e d T h e Maj or thought there m i ght be some
’
.

fi h t i n — h e had never s een any whilst in the s ervic e

—and after dinner they both went to the theatre .

T h e old gentleman sat in the stalls and the Maj or

i n the dre ss circle and they did n o t meet in the b a r
,

becau s e the o n e abstained and the other had b een

forbidden by the doctor to drink except at meals .

T h e D um a s dramatised by an Obscure E nglishman

, ,

proved a fa i lure T h e lead i ng lady was the only

.

person on the s tage who could act and sh e w a s t o o ,

fat T h e other s b aw led But both gentlemen sat

. .
 OU T OF T H E S E AS O N 1 65

it out to the end b ecau se there was nothing el se to

,

do b u t go to b e d .

A cros s the patch o f light diffused b y each arc

lamp o n the de serted promenade the rain was visib le
like changing wraiths seen n o w and instantly d i s ,

s olving blown inland b y the fierce wind from the

,

se a , which made it advisab le for the ped e st rian to

seek the shelter o f the inner street parallel wi t h
t h e beach and turned the crossing o f each transverse
,

street into an adventure T h e gale struck spark s .

’
from the Maj or s cigar as he b u ffeted his way alone
b etween the shut shops that at other times blazed
forth their lights over cheap pipes and w alking
stick s p i cture postcards and paper novels tripe
,
-
,

and chocolate but now s olemnly lined the thorough

,

fare like a doub le ro w o f mute s mourning for t h e

departed season S park s t o o the gale b lew from
.
, ,

the pipe o f the o ld gentleman as he struggled along

more slowly b ehind the Maj or not j oining him ,

because though a man might confide his hopes and

,

fears to decent strangers at chance tab les in the

hydro s of the earth he migh t hardly presume to ,

fraterni s e with them o u t of doors .

N ext morning the Maj or left to meditate in fresh

hotels his contemplated voyage round the world ;
and the Old gentleman remained where he was for
a fe w days until he realised suddenly that he had
,

n o t yet found his ideal place and so set forth in search ,

o f i t once more .
 ’
O T H ER PE O PLE S H O U S E S

H AVE you ever felt the fa s c i nation o f other people s ’

house s ! N o t i t should be expl a ined the hou s e s

, ,

of other people whom one knows but the houses o f

,

perfect s trangers ; all those house s that ne stling ,

behind small shrubs o r flush with the street stretch ,

away i nto i nterminabl e perspect i ve s as o n e explores

an unfam i l i ar suburb
. N ear the street they certainly
should b e —near enough for the p a sser b y to snatch -

a glimp s e o f the i r inter i ors ; and if they a re near

the street it goes without saying that they are the
houses o f the middle cla s s T hat glimp se through
.

t h e window i s neces sary because the imagination

must have s omething tangible to s tart from ; it
can t make br i cks without straw And s in ce thi s
’
.
,

game I am describ i ng i s purely an e x erc i se o f the

imagin a tion you need nothing mor e th an that
glimpse—that p oi n t d appu i a s i t were ; yo u mu st
,

’
,

know nothing about the house or its i nhabitants .

U naided you float i nto speculation T h e m an .

who s hould step o u t and offer to show you round

h i s dwelling would b e doing you a d i s s ervice With .

what di stress and disappointment would you con

template t h e fumed o ak and plush the imitat i on ,

C hippendale and the i nfer i or o i l pa i ntings ; learn

,
-

where each obj ect w a s p i cked up and h o w much it

co s t H o w eagerly would you decline a de s cent
 O THE R PE O PLE S H O US E S
’
1 68

th i s game mu st have been played by the great

dramati st s and the great novel i sts a s w ell D i ck en s .

i n L ondon Bal z ac i n P ar i s and the tow n s o f Anj ou

and T ouraine ; the i r eyes p i erced stately fa cade
and mean frontage a n d saw behind—home s for
,

human bein gs
It i s in the w i nter that the mystery o f other
people s houses grow s insupportably strong and o ppre s
’

s ive . T here i s it i s true something d i sturb in g about

, ,

a summer evening j ust b efore dusk when the a i r ,

grows cool and there arises a scent o f moist earth

and geraniums after the gardens have been wat ered .

But th i s i s not the real th i ng ; it i s in fact almo st , ,

an i nversion o f the real thing T h e hou s e i s turned .

i n side o u t as i t were the garden b ecome s part o f

, ,

i t ; i ts personal i ty i nvades the road and m in gle s

with neighb our i ng personalit i es L ife is humm in g .

all around like the buz z of bees in h o t sunsh i ne ;

i t breaks over you in waves i ndecently Wherea s
, .

i n w i nter life retreats indoors like a snail w i thin i t s

shell R omance is coy ; it h a s to be hunted dow n
.

and surp rised in it s retreats E very house in short .

, ,

is itself again .

D usk i s the perfect t i me ; after they have l i ghted

up b u t b efore they have pulled down the b l in d s
, .

g
O r b etter still dusk b efore they have lighted up
, ,

at all so th a t the fi re li h t turns traitor and give s

,

away the secrets that it should cherish to i t s last

fl i cker Ju st a s in this house for in stance at the
.
, ,

corner of this v i sta o f dwellings along which the ea s t

g
wind i s sweeping L ooking through i nto the sitt in g
.

room bra z enly the fi re li h t sho w s u s a w hite h a i red

, ,
-

o ld l a d y s eated i n an e a sy -c h a i r T here i s a lette r .

 O THE R PE O PLE S HO USE S
’
1 69

i n her lap ; w ip i ng her spectacle s It i s only

sh e is .

a gl i mpse We pass on but is that all we have seen

.
, ,

an Old lady s i tting in front o f the fire 9 I s ay that

the o ld lady is a widow and that she is sitt in g here ,

a lo n e because t h e children have flown from t h e ne s t

and gone into the world about their o w n bu s iness .

T hat letter i s from her son i n C anada for the boys ,

are all ab road and she often wonders when they will
,

come home .

H ome from t h e Ind ies an d home from t h e ocean

, ,

H eroes an d sol d iers t hey all shall c ome home

, .

’
Yes b u t she won t be here to s e e them T hey .

will go into the cemetery some fine evening to look

at her grave and walk round thi s way to look at the
,

o ld home and find it tu rned into a shop .

And i f you should tell me that you happen to

know the old lady ! T hat she is no widow but ,

would b e a great deal happ i er if she were becau s e ,

the o ld gentleman her hu sband spend s too much

t i me at the pub lic hou s e round t h e corn er T hat
-
.

sh e h a s no s on s at all only a daughter married to

,

a b utcher at Blackpool who beat s her and that , ,

th i s letter is prob ab ly the weekly budget o f h i s mis

deed s Well what matter if you do tell me these
.
,

things 9 T hey ma y b e go spel truth o r it may be ,

that y o u can play the game a s well as another .

Yours is merely another vers ion qu ite a s good a s ,

m i ne and not half so s entimental

,
.

An d so all down the street and i n street after ,

s tre e t ; and not only in all the street s o f you r

ow n sub urb but in the street s o f unfamiliar
,

su burb s .It i s e x traord in ary what a lot o f hou s e s

1 70 OT HE R PE O PLE S
’
HO USE S
th e re a re i n s trang e s uburb s a n d w h at a number
,

o f peopl e l ive i n them P eople o n e h a s n ever met

.
,
’
and never w ill meet go i ng to the po st o r t h e grocer s
, ,

bec au s e they have the i r o w n po st o ffi ce an d the i r

-

o w n grocery s tore . N ice people som e o f them ;

,

people whom i t would have been a plea sure to k n ow

if o n e had s ettled do w n i n the i r ne i ghbou rhood and
,

who s e acqua i ntance might h av e a ltered t h e c urrent

o f a l i fe
. T h at g i rl fo r i nstance whom o n e would
, ,

certa i nly have marr i ed ; only t h e house at Kersal

w a s less de s i rable than the v i lla at West D i d sbury
and s o o n e never happened to meet her .
1 72 HA W T H O R N L O DGE
p apers well under the chandel i er H e cr it i c i sed
each s cheme s everely and alway s managed to fin d
,

some pract i cal obj ection that had been overlooked

It w a s i mpo ss i ble for in stance to throw a b i ll i ard
, ,
.

room o u t from the dining room becau s e that would -

,

mean s acrific ing the v in e o n the south wa ll a v in e

which produced no grape s it i s t rue but wh i ch w a s
, ,

a cur i o sity for mile s around T hen aga in o f the .

, ,

n e w S pare bedroom that might be built o u t over the

b illiard room he would point o u t that you would

-
,

be able to approach i t only through h i s o w n room ,

a n d that i t would b e embarra ss ing for the v i sito r

to di s cover when he wanted to retire that Mrs

, , .

P iper had already gone to b e d .

It u sed to b e very j olly at H awtho rn L odge in

those days T h e place w a s full o f the boy s and
.

their fr i end s for each b o y had a di fferent se t

, .

V incent s friends a s b e fit t e d his years were mature

’
, ,

and s edate T hey di s cu s sed politic s and l iterature

.
,

and s omet i me s even i n the ab s ence Of Mr and

, .

Mrs P iper they d i scussed eth i cs T here w a s o n e

.
, .

man I remember by name G ray sm it h w ith a con

, , ,

fi d e n t manner and a small fair moustache that ,

turned up at the ends him I d i sliked particu larly

but there w a s a rea son for that O n the whole the .

various set s got o n very well together E rnest s .

’

fr i ends w ere ripp in g chap s ; mostly from the Uni

versity where E rne st w a s study i ng med i c i ne T here
, .

w a s s ure to b e s ome fun when they were a round ,

and there w a s even the chance o f s ometh i ng really

exciting O ne day I recollect the pott i ng shed at
.
, ,
-

the bottom o f t h e garden w a s blown up and E rnest ,

w e nt abo u t w ith ver y littl e h a i r an d n o e y ebro w s fo r

 HA W
a fe w week s T hey had b een exper imenting in the
.

manufacture o f b ombs it appeared My o w n par

TH O R N L O DGE

t i c u la r friend was H arry ; we shared a motor cycle

and kept it in a little special hou s e constructed at the
.

-
1 73

b ack O f the greenhouse When I say we shared .

it o f cour s e I mean that it belonged to H arry ; b u t

,

we fixed up a fore carr iage an d took it in turns to

-

drive the th i n g T h e twins at that time were hardly

.

s eventeen ,and their fr i ends were un important and

were merely tolerated S till they helped to fill .
,

up But I come n o w t o by far the mo st notab le

.

memb er o f that family It w a s a girl o f cou rse ; .

,

Mary the only daughter You will understand

,
‘

that among st all those b oys Mary had a very good

t ime ; sh e was a sort o f prince ss b u t n o end of a ,

sport ,
quite unaffected and unspoilt H e r b rothers .

worshipped her and so I mu st confess did some o f

, , ,

the i r friend s ; and perhaps that accounted for more

than o n e coolness S he was twenty one and t w o
.
-
,

year s older than I w a s b u t I shall never forget the

,

b lack despair that came over me when I surpri s ed

her and G ray sm it h in the raspb erry b ushes one -

summer evening T h e raspb erries were very tall

.

that year and G ray sm it h s arm w as round her

,
’

waist I th i nk it was from that hour that I hated

.

G ray sm it h .

I don t k now whether I can manage to convey

’

t o you what a happy place H awthorn L odge use d

to b e then ; h o w full o f life o f youth o f gaiety , ,
.

Y o u must imagine o f an evening the t ennis court

, ,
-

going full swing o r the constant crack of cricket

,

b alls from the paddock Yo u must i magine quick .

foot step s o n the gravel p aths fresh voice s ringing ,

1 74

in ,
HA W
the b ushe s An d M rs P iper gently promenading
.
TH O R N L O DGE
the orchard and the flutter o f white skirt s amongst

general supervis i on and Mr P i per strolling ab out

.

her pug s w i th an a i r o f exercis i ng a s ort o f indulgent

.
,

b enevolently in a garden hat smoking a cigar with ,

the cha i rman o f the U rban D istrict C ouncil and ,

o ld Mr P iper—Grandfather—sitting o n a b ench in
.

a sunny spot w i th the paper think ing what clever ,

fellows those leader writers were and wishing he -

,

could understand them T hen later o n a deep .

, ,

toned gong would b oom o u t and w e would troop ,

i n to a generou s supper where everyb ody was wel ,

come and where there w a s plenty for everyb ody

,

but not half enough room to eat comfortab ly T hat .

w a s what H awthorn L odge w a s l ike a s I s a y rather , ,

more than ten yea r s ago .

I happened to go past H awthorn L odge yesterday

I did not call but stood awhile and looked over the
,

gate I do n o t think that the i mprovements pleased

.

me very much T o b e s ure the house is more

.
,

i mposing b u t there is an irregula rity about the

,

fa cade that offends my eye R ound the dining .

room corner y o u can j ust s e e an angle o f the n e w

b ill ia rd room
-
new every o n e calls i t though ,

the red br i ck i s already b eginning to mellow T h e .

g
conservatory opening o u t o f the draw i ng room for -
,

which the b i ro s e b e d had to b e sacr i ficed gives the

-
,

b uilding a bloated drops i cal a i r ,A nd the t w o new .

atti c bedroom s added ab ove the or ig i nal t o p s tory

, ,

a re n o t the s ame colour as the rest o f the house and ,

look like a new bowler hat o n the top o f a frayed ,

p i cture sque shoot i ng j acket It was after Grand

-
.

father P i per s death that they began t o enlarge

’
 ’
FR I T Z S

T H E tramcars go swinging down the street a s regular

as F ate and in their wake the m o b
, In the gutter .

the newsboy cries aloud and the cheap j ack pub lish e s
,
-

h i s wares i n the doorway Yo u too who are o f the

.
, ,

m o b pa s s along with the re st o f your kind

, You .

do not hear the rack et becau s e you have heard it s o

O ften n o r do yo u look to right or left because you
, ,

have s een a thou sand t i me s all that there is to be

s een Yo u have s een fo r instance b u t have not
.
, ,

noticed that narrow tunnel b urrowing i t s way

,

between a couple o f shops with the air o f merely

s erving their back premises ; o r if you have noticed

it you have suspected it pro b ab ly of providing , ,

furt ive acce s s to some lu rking pub lic house t o o -

,

disreputab le to venture o u t into the open But .

t h e tunnel i s a thoroughfare P enetrate it far .

enough and you find your self unaccountab ly i n a

, , ,

nook among st the hou s e s s udden as a clearing in

,

t h e j ungle S omething o f the j ungle s qu i et hangs

.
’

over the tin y s quare T h e roar o f the neighb ouring

.

tra ffi c is dulled and softened to the music o f distant

s urf . S teep b uilding s ris e like cliffs all about th i s
d im pool o f silence shutting o u t the common noises
,

Of t h e town —shutt i ng o u t the sunlight t o o s ave . ,

a t high noon in summer .

E ven at mid summ e r it i s only the pale gho st o f

1 76
 F RI T Z S ’
1 77

s un sh i n e that filters through the n arrow panes o f

the s e forgotten warehou se s sunshine with all the ,

glory gone o u t o f it It is like sparkling yellow wine

.

that one h a s poured into the glass and left untouche d .

But i ndeed h o w should the light inva d e these dusky

place s 9 O nce they were dwellings town houses ,

o f merchant prince s whose printed cottons floated

le i surely round the C ape bound for the marts o f ,

D elh i or Indore ; who s e flowered chintzes E mm a

Woodhou s e hung over at the counter of Mrs F ord s .
’

shop in H ighbury H ead s perhaps were thrust

.
, ,

from these window s when young C harles E dward

clattered into the market place o n his road to D erb y
-

a n d w i thin the s e w a ll s s urely high fe stival marked

, ,

T rafalgar a n d the humbled might o f F rance and

S p a in Now the y are w a rehouses but most o f them
.
,

are empty for the worn sunken floors are too cra z y
, ,

to support the w eight o f pile s of cloth T h e smoke .

sta i ned red br i ck walls are uneven and bulg ing ;

-

held together by i ron stays propped apart by huge ,

baulk s o f t i mber they give o n e the idea that they

,

a re o n the point o f crumbl i ng to piece s S oon all .

the s e warehouse s w i ll b e pulled down to mak e w a y

for a n e w street Meanwhile squeez ed i n betwee n
.
,

a couple o f them stands a little t w o story building

,
-

pain ted a dingy yellow decorated with window ,

boxe s fi lled with doomed geranium s T his i s F ritz s .

’
.

T here never seem s to be anybody at F ritz s

’
T hat .

i s the chief charm o f the place It i s a rare thing if .

you can count three cu stomers lunching there at o n e

time Wh en yo u go ins i de you can hardly se e any
.

thin g a t fi rst T h e interior is full o f gloom It i s

. .

not howeve r a depre ssin g gloom ; it is like the

, ,

VOL III . .
M
 F RI T Z S
’
1 78

background o f a D utch picture rich and my ster iou s , .

H igh light s fla sh out o f i t here and there—the pall i d

s h i mmer of a tablecloth the gleam of cut gla s s and -
,

s ilver plate
-
the glint o f bras s beer handle s T here
,
-
.

i s j ust a dash o f colour i n the faint pinks and deep

red s o f t h e German de li ca t e ss en o n the counter a n d ,

the pale green s o f a heap of salad T ime has deepened .

everyth i ng else into a mellow concord o f browns

the b rown o f trodden linoleum the smoky b rown ,

of the ceiling the faded brown o f walls long papered

,
-
,

t h e generous brown o f polished mahogany T he .

brown shadow s linger everywhere and t h e rafters ,

hang lo w .

F ritz w a s a push i ng young German when he opened

h i s re staurant N o w he i s melancholy and o ld with
.
,

a heavy droop i ng mou stache which g ive s him the

a spect o f a k ind gentlemanly walru s and h i s eye s
, ,

are tired and resigned H e i s very fr i endly and .

,

love s to come and talk to y o u If y o u k now h im .

well you may chaff him gently ( after mak ing your
compliment s on the lunch ) and a sk h i m h o w o n earth , ,

with so fe w cu stomers he manages to make the plac e

,

pay H e will tell you that h e does n t A t lea st h e

.
’
.

told m e s o the other day .

When I started fi ft y three years ago the trade

,
-
,

w a s bu s y all around here and I w a s crowded N ow , .

the trade i s gone away over there to the new p a rt , ,

o f the town and F r itz s i s left stranded like a sh i p

,
’

o n the shore when the s e a h a s gone down It i s no .

use compla i n i ng .
’

Why don t you retire 9 I said

’
.

H e s miled rather wanly and ma de a va gu e ,

gesture . What el se i s ther e for m e to do ! h e

‘ ’
 F RI T Z S
’
1 80

me o ne o f tho se n e w cheerful pla ce s th e y re pu tt i ng

,
’

up no w a da ys T here s t o o ma n y gho st s h a ng i ng
’

v
.

rou n d F r it z s fo r my l ik i ng Be si de s i t s so far
’
.
,
’

from the o ffi ce n o w I e moved into the n e w pack i ng

’

ho u s e i n Rutland Ro w ’

v
.

But yo u come here every day 9 I sa i d .

Ye s I ca n t very w ell help i t I e been com i ng

’ ’
.

here for fifty ye a rs and o ld F r it z would never get

,

over i t i f I gav e him up now But he b ecame .

,
’

confidential F rit z i s break ing up H e won t last

, .
’

much longer you 11 s e e A nd then I 11 make a

,
’
.
’

chang e .
’
H e patted me o n t h e back Fi fty years .

’
of Germa n cooking i s enough for any ma n s stomach ,

m y bo y .
’
 A N N I VER S A R I E S AND OLD LE T T ER S

T O MO-
RR O W sa i d my Aunt Maria
,
’
w i ll b e the ,

anniversary of cousin Jane C arrington s wedding ’

.
’

R eally 9 I said politely .

O n no account must I mi ss the nine o clock po st ’

to night s aid my Aunt Maria

-
,
’
.

In one re spect my Aunt Maria i s a marvel As a .

family authority sh e i s unparalleled S he never .

forget s an ann i versary i n spite o f her s eventy two

,
-

years T h e principal tra ffi c o f her even ing days

.

i s the d i recting o f congratulatory letters or mi s sives

v
o f a more s olemn nature to the addre s se s of all rela

t i e s concerned It s eem s probab le that if by the

.

operation o f s ome act of G o d ( as the in su rance com

pani c s s ay ) or other wholesale clearance the family
, ,

should b e w i ped o u t o f ex i stence my Annt Maria , ,

feelin g that her appointed time had come would ,

lay down her pen and fade away within the ye a r .

S he could not endure t h e approach o n e by o n e o f , ,

the pregn a nt date s and not be able to share their

savour with another F or a stranger an outs i der
. , ,

b e he never so symp athet i c can hardly pretend to ,

b e touched by these intimate particular emotions .

H i s symp athy i s i n the natu re o f an intrusion Wh at .

do you care for in stance a bout the day o n which

, ,

my c ou si n Jane C arrington w a s ma rr i ed ! It i s
n oth i ng to y o u whether sh e w a s marr i ed at all
1 82 ANN IVE R SA RI E S A ND O LD LETTE R S
T here comes a t i me t o every man when h i s b i rthday
i s n o t an eve n t to be loo k ed forward to w i th rej o i c in g .

T here come s a time when so far from look ing forw a rd

,

to i t h e would fain forget it altogether ; a n d I am

,

now , I regret to say approach i ng that dread s ea son

, .

It is particularly depressing therefore to rece ive a s , , ,

I d i d the other morn i ng a letter from my Aunt Mar i a

,

beginn i ng : It i s a s olemn thought dear nephew , ,

that another ye a r has rolled away and that you are ,

a s tage farther o n your j ourney towa rds the grave .

It i s b eautiful o f course that a woman should con

, ,

secrate her life to the gentle task o f con sol i ng and

g
cheer i ng her fellow creatures through the medium
-

o f the General P o s t o f fi c e but it is re rettable that

-
,

my a unt cannot s e e the silver l i n i ng without being

in st a ntly rem i nded o f the cloud S he is a woma n .

o f a s eriou s frame o f mind A wedding o r a b irth

.

day which to mo st people would b e a day o f rej oic i ng

, ,

i s t o her an occas i on for s olemn reflection for steel i ng ,

the heart and brac i ng the mu scle s a ga i n st po s s ible

d i sa ster to come T h e more fe st i ve the celebration
.
,

t h e more fi tting the opportunity for a fe w word s

o f e xhortation S h e would have made a splendid
.

ho ste ss at an E g yp t i an fea st would my Aunt Mar i a ,

s h e would have s een to it that the mummy w a s la i d

o u t w i th the re s t o f the table decorat i on s A stage .

farther o n your j ourney to the grave T ha t .

i s h o w sh e s ee s l i fe a s a s ort o f pilgr image with the

, ,

cemetery a s the grand Obj ect o r climax If sh e cared .

for novel s sh e would I a m su re pr i z e t h e n ovel s

, ,

o f A rnold B ennett above all others ; sh e w ould

admir e the personally condu cted tour from t h e
c ra dle throu gh B u rs ley to t h e grave a s Max h a s
, , ,
’
 1 84 ANN I VE R SA RI E S AND O LD LETTE R S
pract i ce of thu s secretly tabulat i ng the an n i versari e s
sh e grew va stly ind i gnant
’
T hank you sh e s a id
.
, ,

my memory s as good a s ever it w a s Yo u w ill be

’
.

lucky i f you have o n e as good when you a re my

age.
’

My Aunt Maria k eeps all the letters she h a s ever

received stored in a great tin box which lie s concea led
b eneath her bed S he st i cks to them all like gr im
.

death S he was never known to destro y even a

.

postcard S he lays them down l ik e w i ne and w ith

v
.
,

the lapse o f years they r ipen s o to speak u nt i l , ,

they atta i n matur i t y A nd they have th i s ad a n

.

tage over some w i nes the older they grow the better
they become nor can they ever get past the i r be st
,
.

S he h a s even told me that sh e prefers my o w n o ld

letter s to my present one s T h e fact i s worth remem
.

bering I find it i ncreas i ngly difficult to compo s e

.

missives o f the proper weight and s er i ousne ss nowa

days I a m a lways filling up w i th frivolou s deta i l s
. .

P erhaps I h ave s aid all there is to be s aid about the

family I must consider whether i t would n o t b e
.

possib le when gravelled for lack o f matter i n futu re

, ,

to s ay Kin dly refer t o mine o f J u ne 2 1

, for ,

g
I am sure sh e k eep s everything indexed o r in a chro n o
log i cal sequence S he h a s I find re u lar day s fo r
.
, ,

go ing through the t i n b o x and perusing the corre

s po n d e n c e devoting each day ( I i mag i ne ) to o n e
,

member Of the fam i ly or to s ome group o f allied

memb ers S ometimes when I am staying w ith her
.

s h e will b egin : You don t remember you r grand ’

mother T homp son I suppo s e though yo u were

, ,

t ak en to se e her when you were a little b o y S h e .

w a s a wonderfu l o ld woman ; sh e l i ved to n in e t y

 ANN IVE R SARIE S AND O LD LETTE R S 1 85

t w o, and man aged her farm t o the end S he used .

to smoke t o o It w a s quite a s ight to se e her sitting

, .

o n o n e s ide o f the fireplace and her husb and on the

other each w ith a churchwarden pipe alight

, .

On su ch oc ca s i on s I know that my Aunt Maria has

been in dulging in her secret vice S O all these o ld .

people w hom o n e had thought dead and gone long

ago have n o t qu ite disappeared T hey still exis t .

in the t i n b o x under the bed and come out now and ,

then for an airing But some day my Aunt Maria

.

herself w i ll d i e and then the o ld people will fade away

,

for good and the t i n box w i ll b e cast o n to the rubbish

,

heap .

Meanwhile i t i s the t i n box that i s the explanat i on

o f my aunt s wonderfu l a ccuracy
’
I am sure th at .

th i s i s the truth though I must b e careful lest I

,

wo u nd her by suggesting it Y o u se e it is all b ound

.
,

up together S he pores over the o ld letters and

. ,

they bring to her mind anniversaries which require

to be celebrated anew in fresh letters An d the .

answers t o these I suppose in their turn will b e

, ,

come o ld letters themselves and will fire the train ,

o f memory in the future .

 H A N O VE R H O U S E

I IIAVE been rather often to se e Mrs H allways s i nce .

Re x went to S outh A frica H e w a s the la st of them to .

leave home and I fancy sh e i s s ometimes very lonely

,

n o w they are all gone H anover H ou s e ( where sh e

.

l ives ) i s st i ll quite charm i ng altho u gh they have just ,

pulled down Brun swick L odge next door and a re ,

ab out to cover t h e s i te w i th tiny v i lla s Mean .

b uilding s too that will be perilou sly like slum s i n

, ,

ten years are creep i ng toward s the back Of the

,

s ta b les but fortunately the o ld stout red brick garden

,
-

wall i s h igh enough to keep them o u t of s i ght I .

don t think that Mrs H allway s really not i ces the se

’
.

i nvaders w ithout her gate s ; they do not s er i ou sly

incommode her at any rate and they s erve a s a ,

pleasant evergreen top i c for go s s i p S he doe s not .

u se the garde n very much S ave for taking an .

occas i onal stroll to enj oy the fresh green on a spring

morn i ng or for dr i nking tea underneath the b i g chest
,

nut o n a s ummer a fternoon sh e hardly u se s i t at ,

all It i s w i de enough o n all s i de s ho w ever to k eep

.
, ,

the world at a rm s length and to pre s erve the hou s e

’
,

—that inner c i tadel o f peace—from all rough c o n

tacts With i n M rs H allways holds sway over a
. .

qu i et domain a sway none the less absolute becau s e

,

i t i s o f the m i ldest C lara is her l i eutenant that

.
,

s olemn o ld m a i d servant w h o w a s n ur s e to all the

1 86
1 88 H ANO VE R H O U S E
going abroad H e might have chosen somewhere
.

nearer than Australia it is true ; for though Mel

,

b ourne is a fine place i t is rather far from T own

’
,

a s the gentleman says in Mr H yndman s re m i n i s

’
.

cences ; but there is n o doubt that Merton h ad to

go I dare s ay that the trouble h as blown over
.

now , and that he might come back i f he chose b u t

there he i s comfortably s ettled and doing very well
,

from all accounts I always suspect that Mrs

. .

H allways feel s that sh e and her hu sband were j u st

a little to blame about Merton T h e elde st so n .

often has to endure a stricter superv i s i o n than h i s

b rothers e x per i ence after h im and a t o o irk s om e ,

restraint defeat s i t s o w n end It i s a fact that the .

other three boys had much more liberty after they

’
left school than Merton enj oyed and they haven t ,

done any the worse for i t C ertainly t h ey did n t .

’

make the O ld C ountry too hot to hold them i f the ,

phra se i s n o t t o o strong in Merto n s case A la n i s ’

at S hangha i for his firm and J i mmy—well there

.

, ,

would hav e been no keep in g J immy at home any

h ow . H e i s a rover born T here is o n e i n most
.

large famil i e s J i mmy started by go i ng to se a and

.
,

at pre s ent he own s a farm i n S ask atchewa n though ,

I hear b y the way that he i s th i nk ing Of s elling it

, ,
.

Again it wa s n t V i olet s fault that the man sh e

,
’ ’

married happened to be an Amer i can though i t w a s ,

the b i ttere st disappo i ntment to Mrs H allway s who .

,

might at least have hoped to k eep her dau ghter

n earer home .S he con soled her s elf w i th t h e re fl e c
t i o n that N ew York i s not s o very far away nowadays .

C ompared w ith C h i n a a n d Melbourne it i s only j u st ,

round the corner I should se e nea rl y a s l i ttle o f

.
 H ANO VE R H O U S E 1 89

h er if sh e lived i n L o ndon ,
’
s aid Mrs . H allway s
m i ldl y .

In the break fast room at H a n over H ouse there -

i s a magnificent a ffair in ceremonial august a n d , ,

polished woods and b ehind its gla z ed doors is con

,

t a i n e d a compl i cated ser i es o f littl e drawers F ive .

o f these are b oldly docketed w i th C hristian names ,

and here Mrs H allways k eeps the letters from ab road

.
,

neatly arranged in chronological order When I .

called upon her the other day R ex s drawer was ’

open and she w a s j ust consigning to its appointed

,

place the latest letter from C ape C olony .

’
H e s doing s o well w ith h i s fruit sh e reported
’
,

gleefully T he s e C ape grape s are going to turn o ut

.

’
very profitable s o he tell s me , T h e letter was .

handed to me Yo u s e e he actually sugge st s that

.

I should go o u t and visit him sh e sa id sm i ling ,

’
,

rather s adly S illy fellow he m i ght as well propose

.
,

’
that I should take a trip to the moon .

’
But w h y n o t 9 Why shouldn t you go and visit
h im 9
’ ’
Oh I couldn t le ave the house .

S hu t i t u p .
’

Impo ss i ble ! It ha sn t b een shut up since first ’

I c ame i nto i t .
’

’
T hen leave it in charge o f C lara
C
.

lar a C lara couldn t undertake the responsi ’

b ilit y ( T hi s a s i f it had b een propo s ed that C lara

s hould take over and m an age a spin nin g mill o r s imilar

go i ng concern
Yo u e

s o u n d a s a bell
v
got plenty o f money and you re as
’

I sa id Why don t you make up

,
’
.
,
’
’

your m i nd to h ave a good rou n d tou r and se e the

1 90

lot of

W H AN O VE R H O U S E
them 9 L ik e th i s Fi rst you o to t h e C ap e
a n d stay w i th R e x for a few months

the—e r— h at do you call it O ce a n and along up

- -

to S hangha i ; and from there you could s l ip down

quite easily to s e e Merton i n Austral i a T hen acros s
t h e P acific to V ancouver
, .
-
.

T hen w he n
you re t i red o f each other i t i s n t very far acro s s

they are pretty decent

boat s I believe And once i n A meric a you k i ll t w o
-
’
g

.
.

b i rd s w i th o n e s tone J immy and V i olet are s o near

,

together yo u s e e Yo u could do it comfortabl y i n

, .

ab o u t e i ghteen month s o r a coupl e o f year s and ,

when you d fin i shed you d be j ust about ready to

’ ’

beg i n the round a ga i n .

’

Mrs H allwa y s l i stened a s i f I were propou n d i ng a

.

here sy . A nd what pray should I do w i th H a n over

, ,

H ou s e a ll that tim e ! L eav e C lara i n charge i n

definitely 9
I S hould let i t and tak e C lara w ith yo u
, .
’

A nd the furn iture 9

S ell i t I sa i d boldly
,
’
.

Mrs H allwa y s look ed at me qu eerl y

. I m afra i d .
’

you don t qu i te u n derstand It s n o t that I would n t

’
.
’ ’

v
give an yth i ng to s e e the ch i ldren aga i n that s ’

’
all I e left to hop e for But I couldn t thi n k o f .
’

leav i ng t h e hou se ! S elling t h e fu rn i ture ! T hat s ’

q u i t e o u t o f the qu e s t i o n .
’

An d s o it i s o f co u rse w hen yo u come to th i nk

, ,

abou t i t .
1 92 T H E TE AS H O P
s itt i ng o n the ben t cane cha i r i n front o f t h e s eve re
l ittle Oblong table o f white marble T e a i n the cheap .
,

white fluted s erv i ce stand s before her and cake s

, ,

o n a gla ss d i s h w i th a s tem to i t ; but sh e hardly

pretends to tak e an i ntere st i n the se S h e s i t s there .

in a hat that cannot have co st much at any t i me ,

a hat wh i ch i s just too big and he avy for her t i ny

W
oval face ; and from under i t s br im her eye s w ith ,

the s lanting brow s wh i ch give her perpetual ly t h e

air o f be in g j u s t a little surprised peer o u t an x i ously
, .

S he look s at the door but nobody ever s eem s to

,

come in to the shop so sh e look s at t h e p a sse rs b y

,
-

in the street turning her head expectantly from s id e

,

to s i de as a step i s heard o n the pavemen t i n e i th e r

d i rect i on S he i s n o t certa i n wh i ch way he i s com i ng
. .

h a t w i ll he be lik e w he n he doe s come 9 T a ll a n d

loo s e l i mbed w i th h i s ha i r swept s moothly back 9
-
,

S mall and plumpi sh l ike the young woma n hers elf 9

,

P erhap s w ith slant i ng eyebro w s too wh i ch will g i v e ,

him a lso the a i r o f being ju st a l ittle surprised i n ,

which ca se whe n h e come s they w i ll look l ik e a

couple o f canar i e s i n a c age s itt in g beh i nd t h e b ars
,

o f the c u rt a i n peck in g at b i t s o f ca k e
, .

T h e t w o ne at little g i rl s who s erv e i n t h e shop

have grey untroubled eye s and long h a ir the colour
,

not o f r ipe corn but o f unr i pe corn T hey a re si sters

, .
,

g
and the o n e should be ab out fo u rteen a nd t h e other
s ixteen year s o f a e T hey go about the i r bu s i n e ss
.

very quietly hardly spe ak in g and when you a sk

, ,

them for hot w ater they an swer i n an undertone ,

as if afra i d of d i sturb i ng t h e tranqu i llit y o f the

place When they are doing noth i ng they stand
.

on oppo s ite s i de s of t h e shop o n e beh ind e ithe r

,
 T H E TE AS H O P 1 93

counter placidl y gaz i ng out o f the window s What

, .

can they b e th inking ab out the while 9 T hey lik e ,

the you n g woman s eem to b e wait i ng b u t they

, ,

cannot hav e made a s signations T hey are w a iting .

not for an in d ividual young man b u t for a young ,

man at pre sent undistinguished from the general

b ody o f Young Men T hey are waiting fo r L i fe to
.

come to t hem like a t i de and sweep them o u t o f th i s

backwater ; and L ife o f cours e w i ll com e in t h e, ,

pers on o f a young man A s they look vacantly o u t .

o f the windows they must be wondering what the i r

young men will be l ik e when they do come It i s .

inco n ce ivable that they can be th i nk in g abou t a ny

th i ng e lse .

T h e yo u ng woman however k now s e xa ctly what

, ,

her you n g man i s like though still he does n o t come

, ,

and h is cont i nued u n accountab le delay cau s e s o n e

,

to grow cur i ous a b o u t h i m H e may fo r i n sta n ce .

, ,

b e d u ll i sh w i th a red face and a sprout ing fa i r mo u s

,

tach e ; o r aga i n he m ay be pale alert and k een

, , , ,

faced w i th shiny black ha i r a n d a tu rn for humorou s

,

epigram No t this last i t i s to be hoped for t h e

.
, ,

girl then w ould l augh at h i m when he spok e to h e r .

H e r laughter m i ght o f course b e m u s i cal ; i t m i ght

g
b e gently mod u l ated ; i t m i ght fall a greeably u po n
the e ar ; but n o m a tter h o w de s i rable her lau hte r
m a y be absolutely there is no dou b t th a t i t would
,

s o u nd d i scordant i n the teashop It would be .

s i ngu larly o u t o f k eep i ng w i th the sp i r i t o f th is plac e

o f med i tat i on T hi s i s a spot for parting for S itt i ng
.
,

s i de by s i d e w i th no word spo k en On e co u ld be .

m is erab le here be aut i fully fo r ha lf ho u rs together

, ,
-
,

and e n j oy i t T here is a great deal o f pleasure to

.

V0 ! III. N
1 94 T H E TE AS H O P
be h ad by fitt in g one s mood to t h e s i tu at i on o n e i s
’

in. After all that i s the s ecret o f h appine ss

, .

S uddenl y i n the street j ust o u t o f s i ght a b a nd

, , ,

begin s to play It is o ne o f those band s that play

.

mu s i c as o n e mows gra s s fells timb er o r performs , ,

a n y other arduous t ask not for pleasure but bec au se

, ,

i t i s one s duty W i tho u t see i ng i t yo u are aware

’
.

that i ts co n stituent members are wearing b aggy

trou sers and cloth cap s all except one who is wearing
,

a peak ed hat wh i ch w i ll presently be handed ab ou t

,

fo r the pu rpose o f receiv i ng contribution s T he .

b and plays with the utmo st grav i ty a walt z which was

popular t h e winter b efore la st a n d h aving completed
t h e r efra i n w i th certa i n de fi n i tely marked empha s es of
expres s ion and in spit e o f certain definitely mark e d
,

flaw s cau sed by t h e imperfect tech n i cal accomplish

,

ment o f individual executant s proceeds to repeat ,

it o n c e more with preci s ely the same empha s e s and

prec i sely the sam e flaw s T hen it emb arks upon a .

t w o s tep and you feel th a t the change h a s been

-
,

accompl i shed withou t any percepti b le alteration in

the t i me A n elephant s urel y would be grateful
.
, ,

for dan c e music played a s thi s is played

-
.

But i n s i de the sh Op nobody takes any not i ce o f

the ba n d Gaiety o f a factit i ou s o r nominal k i nd i s
.

clearly called for ; the g i rl s should crowd into the

doorway and look round the corner at the b and the
young woman should b eat time upon the marb le
s lab w i th a te a spoon H owever the girls reali s ing
.
, ,

that this i s not that aspect o f l i fe which they are

a w a i t i ng continue to ga z e o u t o f the w i ndows w i th
,

the i r untroubled grey eye s and the young woman ,

doe s not cea s e to stare expectantly i n to the s treet .

2 00 T H E D Y IN G L IE

Mar i e h av e yo u n o money wh at e ver !

, he
’

w hispered d u r i ng the lull bet w een t w o fi t s o f cough i ng .

T h e woma n turn ed toward s him .

H e r dre ss w a s o f the pl a i ne s t a n d commonest

de scriptio n a n d a large shawl w a s throw n over her
,

hea d and shoulders enfram i ng a fac e still refined , ,

and which before the finger o f povert y and want

,

had to u ched it had bee n almost beautiful

, T he .

haggard look s and the gaunt figu re spok e eloqu en t ly

o f the length o f t i me since Marie V aughan had ta s ted

wholesome nour i shment As for her hu sband food .

,

w a s n o t for him he was dy i ng and he knew it

, , .

Arn old y o u know I d id n o t get a farthing thi s

,

a fternoon ,sa i d the wife

’
I am nearly u sed to .

begging now I am quite accustomed to be reb uffed

.

a n d cursed S he pau s ed and seemed to hes i tat e a

.
’
,

momen t T hen T here i s o n e hope sh e co n t i nu e d

.
, ,
’
.

Vaugh a n s eye s que st i oned her eagerly

’
I h av e .

writte n to an o ld friend o f yours and m i ne sh e sa i d , ,

’

s low ly. I saw h im going i nto a n hotel i n N orthu m

berlan d Avenue t h e H otel V i ctor i a I thought he
, .

m ight b e stay i ng there but I did not dare to go i n

a nd ask —i n my present dress
,

W
.

I sent a letter to h i m on the cha n ce that he might ,

be stopping at t h e h otel ; but I concealed my h an d

w ri t in g c a refully I wrote a s a k in dly ne i ghbour
.

o f o u r s might wr i te say i ng a n o ld fr i end o f h i s w as

,

s e r i o u sly i ll and giving o u r a ddre s s

, I was a shamed .

t o w r i t e ope n ly to h im confess i ng o u r n eed My , .

la st penn y w ent o n the stamp .

’

Who i s i t 9 a sk ed A rn old fever i shly .

e h a ve never s ee n h i m for four ye a rs s ince w e ,

h ave bee n m a rri ed w ent o n Mar i e ,

’
It i s .
 T H E D Y IN G L IE 2 01

N ot rem ai n e 9
T
Yes H arry T rema i ne
,

T h e m a n sank b ack at the name and lay fo r nearly ,

a minut e i n a s i lence which his wife d i d n o t dare to

break .

C ome here he sa i d at last .

S he o b eyed wonder ing , .

Kneel down and bend over me , he comma n ded .

As sh e did s o he summo n ed up all h i s strength ,

and struck her in the face .

It w a s but the shadow o f a blow S O weak w a s he , ,

but t h e su ddenness o f i t w a s startling and Mar i e fell ,

back sobb in g while the watchful demon o f a cough

s prang upo n Vaughan and tr i ed to s t i fle h i s life breath ,
-
.

In a fe w m i nutes the woman was calm aga i n and ,

rose .

Wh y d i d you str ike me A rnold 9 she a sk ed ,

s i mply .

H o w dare yo u appeal to that fellow 9 w as h i s

cou n ter quest i on -
.

Why do yo u hate him ! H e w a s your friend

once Yo u never quarrelled w ith h im
. he left
E ngl and before o u r marr i age a n d st i ll think s k i ndly ,

o f u s —and envies o u r h app in ess no doubt sh e ’

, ,

finished b itterly .

I h ate h i m b ecause he loved yo u s ai d Vaugh a n ,

’
.

What i f he d i d why ,

And becau s e y o u loved h im love h i m still and , ,

never ca red for me T h e wretched m an succum bed

’
.

to another attack induced by his e x citement , .

Mari e waited till it w a s over and then spok e ,

qu i etly and d i spassionately .

A rnold yo u are right I n ever loved yo u H o w

, . .
202 T H E D Y ING L IE

c ould I wh e n m y father forced m e to m a rry yo u

, ,

i n s pite o f m y love for H a rry for Mr T r e m ain e , .

a n d in s p i te o f h i s lov e for me Yo u knew o f i t a t .

t h e t i me a n d m y father k n ew it but in those days

, ,

y o u were r i ch a n d H arry w a s poor N ow t h e po s i tion s .

a re revers ed ; H arry i s almo s t fab u lo u s ly w e a lthy

a n d w e —s in ce the bank fa i l u re —w e have de s cended

,

through depths o f poverty to the awful po s ition w e

are i n now I have been a good w i fe to y o u sh e
.
,
’

cont inued I have tended yo u in your illne ss an d

.

shared your degradation I have a lw a y s loved Mr . .

T rema in e a n d never you but a n d her vo i ce bro k e

’
, , , ,

’
I always respected you till that blo w , .

S he moved towa rds the door .

And now sh e added proudly I am go in g o u t

,
’
,

’
to beg for yo u .

Vaugh a n mad e no reply and the delicately n u rtu red ,

lady de s cended t h e r i ck ety sta i rcase an d w ent o u t ,

i nto t h e drenching ra in to a sk alm s o f pa ss in g

s tranger s .

Fo r h a lf a n hour the dy in g man lay alone It .

w a s a h alf hour o f mental anguish to him h i s o ld ,

j ealo u sy o f T rem a ine returning to him stronger than

b efore e ven at th e gate s o f D eath
,
And the feeling .

w a s more po i gn a n t a s he reflected that h i s wife would

b e amply provided for after h i s death by her o ld , ,

lover P erhaps and t h e thought w a s horr ible to

.
,

h i m they m i ght after a per i od pa s s ed in the hollow

, ,

mockery o f mourn in g for h i m be marri e d S uch , .

th in g s often occurred he reflected , .

T h e thought k ept recurr i ng a n d t aunt i ng him a s ,

g
h e re a l i s e d h i s helple s s ne s s to prev e nt e v e n a me e t
if T rema i n e sho u ld rece iv e h i s w i fe s l e tt e r
’
in , .
2 04

T hree week s about

E ngland
.
But never mind that n o w
.
,

Mrs Vaugh a n 9 We must e t a doctor i n at once

S top H arry whispered Vaughan it i s u sele ss
,

I want to say someth i ng to confess someth i ng

H i s intens i ty held T remaine and h e li stened
,
T H E

I hav e not been lo n g i n

h ere i s

I
.
D YING

g
,

,
L IE

,
‘
. W
-

.
.
’

.
.

k new you were at the V ictoria ; I saw you go i n about ,

a fortn ight ago b efore I finally broke down Ye ster

, .

day I got a n eighbour to wr ite to yo u an d beg yo u

to come an d s e e me .
’

T h e man had embark ed upo n the per i lous s e a o f

decept i on But your wife why did She not write 9
.
,

T remain e paused and then a sked fearfully S he

is not dead A rnold 9 ,

A rnold turned to the wall away from the ,

que stioner .

N o he repl i ed
’ ’
, sh e i s n o t dead , .

Where i s sh e then 9
O h H arry I am dying yo u can s e e that D on t ’

s purn me when I tell y o u —forg i ve me i f

, , , .

y o u c an
I h ave left her
’
.

T rem a ine caught his breath and ga z ed i ncredulou s ly

at the liar beneath the blanket .

I abandoned her cruelly like a brute T he , .

’

unh appy m an w a s envelop ed in a perfect torn a do

o f coughing from which he emerged gasping and
,

breathle s s .

It w a s in N e w York he explained ; a fe w months ,

’

ago I wanted to come back to E ngland to d i e and I ,

had not enough to br i ng u s both back s o I ju st left ,

her .
’

g
T here w a s silence T remaine could not speak . .

H e st aggered away t o the w i ndo w and s tood gra spin ,

 T H E D YING L IE 2 05

the S ill try i ng to realise what

, news mean t H e the .

could n o t conceive the whole horror of the case

at first and b efo r e his bra in had cleared Vaughan
,

half raised h i mself in a frenzied supplication

Fo r heaven s sake H arry go a n d find h e r !
’
, ,

L eave me here to die and go at once A b oat sails ,

.

fo r N ew York to morrow
’
-
.

T h e magnitud e o f t h e task occurred to ne i ther

o f them I cannot leave you here alone in your
.
,

condition O nce you were a friend o f mine said

.
,
’

H arry coldly .

Go ! Go ! By the love you bore her I entreat ,

you . F ind her if it can b e done T hen with a .

’

l a st e ffort L i sten he cr i ed I left her penn i less ;

, ,

’
withou t a fart hing .

T remaine recoiled from h i m .

N ow swear you will go swear you w i ll seek her ,

H arry stood and looked at the prostrate figu re .

I swear it he said S lowly T hen a wave o f indigna

,
’
.

tion and disgu st swept over him H eedle s s o f the .

condition o f Vaughan Yo u coward ! Yo u mea n ,

skulking coward ! A s yo u left her s o will I leave ,

’
you ! he cried T hen he turned and rushed from .

the room without a farewell glance at the dy i ng man

, .

Vaughan fell back upon the mattress T h e se a .

of d e cept i on w a s cro ssed and he was s afe in port , .

H e b u rst i nto hysterical l aughter and the n the cough ,

c ame .

It was almost dark and st i ll rain i ng H alf bl i nd , .

with rage and gr i ef T rema i ne dashed dow n the ,

stairs A woman wear i ng a sh awl cove r i ng h e r

.

he a d a n d screening her face w a s en t eri n g t h e door

2 06 T HE D Y IN G L IE

from t h e Zst re e t S he stood in his way and gra sped

.
,

his arm F or the love o f God s i r give me some

.
, ,

money sh e implored
,
’
.

T remaine hardly heard her ; he only sa w that sh e

h in dered his pa ssage With a cur s e he flung her to
.

o n e s i de not really conscious o f what he w a s doing

, ,

and plunged into the storm o f rain .

Marie Vaughan sank to the g round stunned b y the ,

violence o f the b low for sh e was very weak S he

, .

lay for s ome t im e undistu rb ed b u t at last rose and ,

addre ssed herself to ascend the stairs slowly and ,

wearily .

g
T h e garret was very st i ll whe n sh e entered and the ,

r un nin water o n the roof s ounded loudly i n her

ears .

A rnold s h e said quietly .

T here was no reply b u t the wail o f the grow i ng

wind .

A re you aw ak e 9 sh e asked gentl y .

A spla sh o f water falling and resounding i n the

empty room w a s t h e only answer .

A rnold ! sh e cried hastily and hurr i ed to the ,

mat tre s s paling wi t h sudden fear T remb ling sh e

, .

learnt the truth H e r hus b and had passed away

.
,

and the smile on his face was terrib le to look upon .

T h e desolate woman flung her s elf down b y his

s i de , with a moan echoed weirdly b y the wind a s
, ,

s h e reali s ed that she w a s doome d to face the hopeles s

future and remorseless povert y alone , .

2 08 T H E T IME OF H IS L I FE
out , enj oying as w a s h i s custo m at eleve n o cloc k
,
’
,

h a lf a pint o f s tout in a convenient b ar A ccordingly .

it had fallen to S ydney to m ake out the cheque ,

and while he w a s mak ing it o u t the i dea came to h i m .

H e had no t i me to think a b out it ; he did it almo st

unconsciou sly T h e senior partner had n o t not i ced
.

the small spaces after the word s ix and the figure .

H e signed the cheque in a hurry ; and S ydney ,

b efore he took it to the b ank altered the amount t o

,

sixty pound s instead o f s i x T h e b ank cashier .

noticed nothing wrong becau s e o f cours e the whole

,

b ody o f the cheque was made o u t in the same hand

writing It was not forgery at any rate And
.
, .

when he gave the senior par t ner his s ix pounds ,

S ydney thought j oyfully o f the fift y four sovere igns -

packed tightly about his o w n person and o f the good ,

t i m e he would have T h e fraud could n o t b e dis

.

covered until the pas s b ook was compared with t h e

-

fi rm s b oo k s and before that day he would have had

’

t h e t i me o f his life H e would b e far a wa y then

.
,

and i ndeed might never b e caught at all b u t even

, ,

i f he were b rought b ack there would still h ave b een

that good t i me which no o n e could take from him .

A nd h o w badly he coveted that good time L iv i ng .

in d iggings w i thout a rel ation i n t h e world h e

, ,

fou nd his meagre s alary only just suffic i ent to k eep

and clothe him H e was a nice loo k i ng boy a n d
.
-
, ,

g
altho u gh he w a s young h e k new that b oys o f h i s
,

a e found t h e means to enj oy themselves even if

g
t he y were n o t well o ff ; but his natural t i m i d i ty
pre vented h i m from mak in the mo s t o f h i s pers o n al
appeara nce H e knew nothing o f women a nd he
.
,

had no friends from whom to learn C onversation s .

 T HE T I ME OF H IS L I FE 209

ha lf heard at the o ffi ce excited his curio sity wi t hout

sa ti s fying it H o w many times had he pa s sionately
.

desired money not for it self but for the experience

,

it could b u y N o w his pockets were full of money ,

and the good time was with in h i s grasp H e turned .

the thought over in h i s mind tast in g it enj oy ing , ,

it dallying with it H e had made a poor start it was

, .
,

true b u t he would pu ll himself together the golden

,

moments were flying they would not last for ever , .

I m sorry sir said the head waiter at his elbow

’
, ,
’

b u t pipes are n o t allowed in the Garden T he .

’

words fell like a cold douch e extinguishing S ydney s ’

pleasu rab le glow .

C an t I’
can t I smok e here 9 he stammered ’
.

O nly cigars an d c igarettes si r C an I bring yo u , .

a cigar 9

W
Yes sa i d S ydney mi serably wish in g he had t h e
,
’
,

courage to order a cigarette H e was rather su rpri sed .

at hav in g to pay a shilling for the cigar but he ,

lighted it and prepared to force himself to enj oy it .

After a ll it was part Of the fun but he did not lik e

,

b eing dragooned in this way P eople must have .

heard the wa iter s reproof in sp ite o f t h e man s

’ ’

W
,

discreet tone and soon S ydney b egan to fancy he

,

was bein g laughed at h en a gentleman leaned .

forward to speak to a friend it seemed as though ,

the incident was b eing discussed H e would have .

liked to go out but he feared to attract attent i on

,

b y getting up until at last he realised that the

,

cigar w a s rather too strong and that he w a s in need ,

of fresh air .

h en he stood in the w in dy s treet with t h e ra in

drops b eat ing i n h i s fac e h e felt better and could ,

VO L 111
. . o
21 0 T H E T I ME OF H IS L I FE
h ave k ick ed himself for his stupid ity b u t all t h e ,

sa me he was glad to b e o u t o f that disconcerting

hotel J ust Opposite fla shed the glittering fa ca de

.

o f a mu s i c h a ll with the name o f a famous comed i a n

-
,

placarded i n bold letters o n each side of t h e door .

H e wen t i n a n d left the portmante au in the cloak

room T h e hou s e w a s full but he might stand at
. ,

the side o f the stall s T h e warm splendidly lighted .

,

theatre seemed to welcome him ; he felt at c a s e at

once A lthough there were thousa n d s o f people in
.

t h e place no o n e took any notice o f h i m every one

, ,

w a s watching the famou s comedian ; and when t h e

turn w a s over S ydney took plea sure in looking at
the people T hey wer e wonderful ; tier upon tier
.

o f fa ces all turned the same way lu strou s i n the

, ,

glow from the stage H e felt at home becau se h e .

w a s unnoticed A gorgeously dres sed lady rose

.

from her s eat and bru sh i ng past S ydney spok e to

,

a m an o n h i s left T hey went o u t together

. T his .

w a s splend i d this w a s seeing life i ndeed H i s sp i rits .

rose and h e thought that if he had a dr ink he might

,

feel d i sposed to a n swer a lady if one should speak

to h im so he went i nto the b a r and ordered a whi sky
,

a n d soda While he w a s drink i ng it he remembered

.

that he had not decided where to stop the night and ,

tha t the town was quite strange to h i m H e ask ed .

the barmaid if sh e could recommend a place S he .

looked at him cur i ously and called o u t in a loud ,

voice to her colleague

M ary gentleman want s to know a nice quiet
,

hotel where they won t mind him coming in rather ’

late.
’
S everal men in the bar turned and sta red at
Sydne y as Mar y a fat woman with spectacle s cam e
, ,
21 2 T H E T I ME OF H IS L I FE

S ydney d i d not stir from the hotel unt i l he w as

s ure that the la s t train had gone and that the cash i er

W
,

w a s safe o n his w a y home with the crowd o f football

enthu s ia sts T hen although it was grow i ng late
.
, ,

h e went out speaking first to the night porter

, .

T here was he felt the keene s t pleasure in walking

, ,

through the street s j ostling the people coming o u t

,

o f the public hou s es and theatres

-
and looking at ,

the still open shops with the knowledge that he ,

h ad enough money in his pocket to b u y any o n e

or anything he fancied as any o n e Of the s e .

p eople he wondered carrying upwards o f fifty pounds

, ,

distributed a b out h i s person in four s eparate parcels 9

T h e reflection made h i m uneasy Was it w i se after .
,

all to br in g s o much money o u t i nto the s treets 9

,

It had b een a choice o f two evils he had not cared

to leave the gold at the hotel b u t the thought that ,

he might b e rob b ed was uncomfortab le and so was ,

the unaccustomed weight of the metal H e felt .

hampered by i t like a man who may have to sw im

,

for his l i fe and who b ears a br i ck b at i n each pocket

, .

But perhaps after all i t was safer to have the

, ,

money with him prov i ded he kept a sharp look out

,
-
.

It would never do to be rob bed b efore he had had

th e time o f his life .

After walking up and down for a while S ydney

understood that though the b u stle o f the main streets
w a s in o n e way a pleasure in another w a y it w a s ,

a drawba ck It was all too pu b lic

. More than .

o n e woman s miled a t him as he pas sed b u t an ,

extraordin a ry s en se of delicacy prev e nt e d h im from

 T H E T IME OF H IS L IFE 213

re spond ing to s uch advance s You could tell a n .

improper story perhap s to a fr i end in private but

, , ,

y o u could not tell i t t o a roomful o f str a nger s ; and

some di st i nct i on of the sort w a s i n his m in d a s he
walked up and down H onestly he was a b it o f a .
,

disappo intment to h imself T h e fruit was hang ing .

o n the b ough waiting to b e pluc k ed yet something ,

made h i m hesitate to stretch forth a hand H e h ad .

n o t realised that it w a s so di f fi cul t to have a good

tim e that even in tak i ng one s pleasure o n e had to
,
’

exerc i se some resolution .

A woman w a s standing at an open door i n a dimly

lighted side street a s S ydney slowly wandered along
the footpath H e look ed at her from the corner
.

o f h i s eye as he pa s sed and the n stood st i ll i rre so

,

lu t e ly at the corner S he whistled gently and h e

.
,

turn ed a n d strolled b ack aga in .

Good n i ght sh e sa i d ,
’
.

S ydney stopped a n d stared at the g i rl cur i ously .

H e r figure was silhouetted against the l i ghted pa s sage

s h e seemed to b e wearing a dull red dress w i th a

shawl thrown rou nd her shoulders S he was dark .

and slim and her lips appealed to him

, .

A re you looking for s omebody 9 she asked .

Nobody in particular replied S ydney i n a strange ,

’

dry voice H i s heart throb b ed violently

. .

It s awfully cold she said with a little sh ive r

’
,
’
, .

Won t y o u come in for a b i t 9

’

v
I don t k n ow said S ydne y
’ ’
.
,
’ ’
I e got s ome beer sh e a dded , .

H e considered her for a moment .

An ybody else in 9 he a sked .

No t a soul C om e a n d look for you rse lf

. .
’
21 4 T H E T I ME O F H IS L IFE
A ll r ight he said but
,
’
, fo r h i s ve ry l ife he co u ld
not have tak en a step forward .

A ren t yo u com i ng dear 9 sh e a sk ed pla i nt ivel y

’
, .

H e s aid Ye s and did n o t move

’
.
,

D on t keep me wa i t i ng here it s too cold sh e

’ ’ ’
, ,

compla i ned .

I don t th ink I 11 come i n t o n ight he s aid

’ ’
-
,
’

hoar s ely look i ng at her l ip s A nd before sh e had

, .

t i me to reply he s tarted ru n n ing a s fast as h e could

run to w ards the main street w here the tramca rs were
clang i ng H e r peal o f laughter st ill rang in h i s ears
.

a s he turn ed the corner and found safety i n the

s tream o f foot passenger s .

H urry i ng b a ck to h i s hotel he went stra i ght to bed

,

and cr i ed himself to sleep and when he wo k e up i n ,

t h e mo rn in g the detect i ve s were wa i t i ng fo r h i m .

 21 6 G RE Y
T h e w a reho u s e floor i s worn and sunk in p la ce s .

Un eve n bo a rd s l i e w a i t i ng to tr i p you up a n d h a rd

k n ot s t o o hard fo r countle ss feet to we a r a way

, ,

re ma in a s poli shed knob s to catch the unw a ry t o e .

T hey have put i ron p i llar s wh ite once but n o w a

,

d ingy grey to support the floors which gro a n b e

, ,

n ea th a we i ght they w ere not de s i gned fo r ; bene a th

p i le s o f cloth fre sh from the loom and package s o f ,

blea ched lawns whose snowy whitene s s lie s h idden

un der wrapp i ng s o f coarse canvas S tillage s there .

a re t o o ro w upo n r o w o f s helve s loaded with grey i sh

, ,

p a rcel s who s e s ober colour i ng s veil the dyed ind i goe s ,

the pu rples the cr i mson s and the emerald s rolled up

, ,

g
w i thi n ; colour s t o o warm and v ivid properly to be
exposed i n this faded region Incande scent a s .

l ight s burn here all day even when the gho stly su n
,

peep s i n a n d shows up the th i ck grey du st o n the

desk s ; they too are d i m and s ickly becau s e their
mantle s a re shattered by the con stant dropp i ng O f
heav y bundle s upon the floor above .

H e s i t s at h i s des k ga z in g through the filmy pa n e s

i nto a cu rta i n o f pearly fog T h e b ig leather b ook s
.

w i th the i r s carred soiled b i nd ing s are before him ,

and beneath h i s eye s are the s err i ed rows o f dry

figu re s that stand for so much stock o f woven goods ,

white pr i nted and dyed raised stiffened and gla z ed

, , , , , .

But h i s eyes are not o n th e figures ; he i s look in g

o u t i nto the bank o f fog and there he see s dream
,

p i ctu re s .

H ere to th i s place a rosy boy h i s father brought

, , ,

h im ; fresh from school T hey called him Johnny

.

then ( T hey call h i m Johnny still ) H e lo n ged to

. .

go to se a and spent h i s spare time i n the corn ers o f

,
 G RE Y 21 7

the warehou s e poring over C lark Ru s sell Ma rryat , ,

an d B a llantyn e T h e roar o f the tra ffi c at the

.

mouth o f the cou rt was the roar o f the P acific surge

i n h i s ears and he watched the clo u d s sail westward
over the cop i ng o f the warehou s e oppos i te reflect ing ,

enviously that in a few hours the i r shadows would b e

gl i din g over the Atlantic swell T h e swish o f water .

over rock s he heard alway s and the curve o f a shell

,

s trewn b a
y was ever b efore h i s eye H e thought the .

most b eautiful thing i n the wide world would be a

s chooner wreck ed o n a coral reef with the seab irds ,

s creaming round her s lim spars and her shadow ,

o n the firm white s and clearly defined b y a tropic

su n through fathoms Of translucid water H e had .

never been aboard a ship in those days b u t h e ,

seemed to k now all about ship s T h e uneven ware .

house fl o o r w a s the sway in g d eck beneath his feet ,

and the dimnesse s where goods were piled were to

h im the depth s o f the hold where mut in eers lie in
,

cha in s and where o n e fires the powder magazine -

.

But when he spoke o f go in g to se a his father

laughed H i s family was b ound b y hab it and
.

tradition to O ffice and mill and he found none to,

sympathise with him L ater when he was about

.
,

twenty his father died ; but t hen he was t o o o ld

,

to go to sea Also the warehou s e held him fa st i n

.

its grey grip for his earnin gs were needed a t home

,
.

At t hat time too he had come to look o n that b oyish

, ,

longing a s merely the fancy o f a b o y another longin g

had taken its place T o the colonies to C anada
. , ,

his fancy strayed It seemed a l ife for a man o u t

.

there amongst the yellow gra in r ipening for the

,

granar i e s o f an emp i re O r there came a v i s i on of

.
21 8 GRE Y
pra i r i e and round in g up great herds o f cattle o n a
,

buck ing horse and the glow o f the camp fire after a
,

h a rd day s work O r great gorges in the mountain s

’
.
,

m ighty torrents gleaming through T itan i c tru nk s ,

s now clad height s and the fore sts o f fir

-
Any place
, .
,

i t s eemed where the w i nd blew freely acro s s great

,

open space s anything to get away from this prison

where the air had all b een b reathed before and the ,

ghosts o f the dead stood b ehind one s shoulder i n t h e ’

dusk o f a grey w i nter afternoon But his young .

s i sters had to b e prov i ded for ; and s o he remained

at the desk and the grey dust settled dow n upon

,

everythin g i n the warehouse and upon him t o o , .

H e bega n to think h o w plea sant i t would be if

he like other men could have a home o f h i s o w n
, , ,

a w i fe and children and cosy evening s by the fi re

s i de but his s isters did not marr y T hey gave him .

a home b u t it was not the home he dreamed o f

, .

When at la st they found hu sband s and left him he

w a s forty a tru sted servant o f the firm i n charge o f
, ,

the w arehouse H e was free a t last But t h e girls

. .

he had k now n once were all marr i ed long ago and the ,

g i rls he met n o w thought him middle aged dull an d -

, ,

faded H e thought o f women however j ust a s h e

.
, ,

had thought o f places i n his youth when he s elected ,

coral i slands in a southern se a and the peak s o f the

C ordillera s for his romances A plea sant homely .
,

body was no more to h i s taste n o w than Black pool

o r life o n a C he shire farm would have been then .

S o that the women he w anted wo u ld not have him ,

and tho s e whom he might have had he did n o t want .

O ther de si re s had gone from h i m therefore t h e

warehou s e had h i m c ompletely an d he went on ,
 RE VO L T O F MR . RE DD Y

MR REDD Y lived all day in a littl e wooden match

.

box o f an o ffi ce in the corner of the warehouse H e .

had l ived there for over forty years ; during which

t i me he had b een man and boy the faithfu l servant
, ,

o f Me s sr s Mellish
. L i ndsay and B rown o f the H ome
, ,

T rade . T h e tall deep se t window with many pane s

,
-

of gl a s s i n i t opposite which Mr R eddy sat looked

, .
,

o u t on to Merton S quare ; a s t aid commercial back

water which daily swelled w i th a flood of horses and

lorr i es until high tide at noon and daily eb b ed u nt i l
,

at ab out seven i t was empty and the cobble stones ,

-

were left high and dry for another night If you .

passed through Merton S quare most t i me s o f the

day you would s e e Mr R eddy behind the mult itude
.

o f s quare panes perched o n a high stool do i ng some

,

thing to fat leather ledgers a quill pen behind h i s

,

ear his glasse s pushed up o n his wrinkled forehead

, ,

and his whole face puckered inconce i vably with

the s trenuousne s s o f his application O r possibly if .
,

b us i ne ss with Mellish L i ndsay and B rown carried

, ,

y ou through their narrow portal you might s e e him ,

stand i ng near the goods entrance at the end o f the

’

warehouse w i th a list in o n e hand and a lead pencil

i n t h e other T h e goods entrance was fashioned
’
.

o u t o f w hat had been the back door when the ware

house w as the town hou s e o f s ome merchant pr i nce

220
 R EV O LT OF MR . R EDD Y 221

b efor e the b attle o f T rafalgar ; and agains t it every

day in nu merable lorr i es sheered up and had a littl e ,

gangway r un across to them from the staging ,

exactly as if they had b een vessels moored against a

pier O ver the gangway b urly men rolled trolleys
.

laden w ith goods and these Mr R eddy inspec t ed

, .

with a practised eye as they passed him S ometimes .

,

indeed Mr R eddy was not in the warehouse at all

, .
,

b u t such occasions were rare A s a rule he went

.

ab road only when Mrs L in dsay the senior partner s

.
,
’

—
wife there had b een no Mellish in the fi rm ever since
he could rememb er— called in her electri c landaulette ,

and b ore him o ff to make purchases for her at s ome

of the wholesale houses in town By this dev i ce good s
.

needed b y Mrs L indsay fo r her private u s e were

.

passed through the books o f the firm and cost her ,

no more than the whole sale price .

You will gather then that there was not much

, ,

variety in Mr R eddy s life O ldish people when

.
’
.
,

they have been doing a thin g in a c ertain way for

a very long time grow to value the way the thing is
,

done as much as the actual accomplishment With .

Mr R eddy everything was done precisely and

.

methodically ; from the way the b ooks were taken

o u t o f the s afe to the way he cha f fed the ancient
waitress from his corner seat at the chop house -
,

everything was cut and dried P robab ly the only .

thing that could have thrown Mr R eddy o ff the .

rails would have b een suspension of payment b y

Mellish L indsay and Brown b u t that was impossib le
, , , .

H e had no b oon companions and fe w acquaintances ,

and the only recreation he w a s known to take he

took on the si xpenn y s i de at the count y crick et
2 22 R EV O LT OF MR . R EDD Y

ground T h e fact i s Mr R eddy was s ure but had

. .

little enterprise ; that w a s why he made such an

excellent manager in the warehouse where a stock ,

tak i ng w a s the highest adventure that could b e

achieved H e w a s o f course a b achelor H e w a s
. .

born to b e a b achelor L iving at home with his

.

mother and sister had been a hab it with h im a hab it ,

which only their deaths interrupted H e sub stituted .

a landlady at once and she came a hab it too Was

, .

there a romance in some corner o f his life 9 It would

be charming to think o f a quiet grave garnished o n
ann i versaries ; b u t a las ! that dash o f sentiment
,

i s denied us H e had never loved any o n e except

.

himself and he did not do that immoderately N o

, .

S crooge w a s he Merely a tame re spectabl e o ld

.
,

gentleman w h o seemed to have b een handed down

w ith the warehouse and taken over by the fi rm a s
a fixture when i t started b usine s s .

Mr R eddy s behaviour on the day we hav e in

.
’

view was therefore i nexplicab le It wa s a purple .

patch in h i s c a reer and o n the white flower o f a

,

b lamele s s life a purple patch show s up w i th an effect

exotic and altogether remarkab le O n thi s particular .

day after lunch at his accu stomed chop house wher e

,
-

he cha ffed the ancient waitres s with the usual formul ae ,

Mr R eddy did not go b ack to the warehouse In

. .

s t ead he made straight for the N ort h We ste rn H otel

,
-
,

wher e he could n o t po ssib ly have any busine s s ,

seated himself in the A merican b a r and ordered a ,

S pecial Ma nhattan H e did this amazing thing with

.

delib eration ; it w a s evidently carefully thought o u t

g
b eforehand and matured If you had met h i m
.

cro s s in t h e t o w n o n h i s w a y to t h e hotel yo u would

224 R EV O LT OF M R . R EDD Y

through all the course s but h e m an aged to fin i sh ,

a p in t o f excellent champagne he who had never ,

before exceeded the mode st l i mit o f half a p i nt

o f s tout
‘
in a tanka rd please
, A fterwards the ,
.
’
,

cloak room attendant w a s unab le to persuade h i m t o

a ccept anything b u t h i s umb rella ; and armed w i th

th i s hatless and coatle s s he endeavoured to gain

, ,

access to a music hall under the impressio n th a t h i s

-

cloakroom ticket w a s a voucher for a reserved s eat .

C onv in ced at last that some exchange o f ca sh w a s

neces sary he flung down a s overe i gn and o b t a ined
, ,

a place in the front row of the stalls ; b u t he was

moved almost to te a rs bec ause the young lady at
t h e b o x o ffi c e steadfastly decl i ned to k eep the change
-

o u t o f the s overeign as he desired her to do , It must .

have b een because he pers i sted in conduct ing the

orchestra with his umb rella that he finally fo u nd
h i mself flung i nto the s treet where his dishevelled ,

person w as the first thing that caught the eye o f

young Mr L indsay as he came o u t of t h e C omedy
.

T heatre with h i s fi an c é e and her sister T o s a y that .

Mr L indsay w a s astonished i s n o t putting it strongly

.

enough T his was o n e o f those i ncredib le affa i rs

.

before which the mind is du mb ; it was like the

crumbling of a faith P utting the ladies in the motor
.
,

and hastily muttering an apology he returned to the ,

side o f Mr R eddy and took him by the arm

. .

Wh at on earth are you doing here R eddy he ,

exclaimed Pull yourself together

. o ld chap ! ,

Mr R eddy shook himself free from the t o o familiar

.

’
grasp o f h i s employer H aven t been warehouse
.

since o n e o clock he said as i f that expla i ne d every

’
,
’
,

thing H e put up the umbrella an d began to dance

.
 REV O LT OF M R . RE D D Y 2 25

se dately and a cheerfu l smile stole over h i s face as

,

h i s feet beat the happy pavement .

No w s ee in g that young Mr L ind say put Mr

, .
.

R eddy i nto a hansom o n the spot it i s d ifficult to ,

explain why Mr P lai sant cash i er to Messrs Mell i sh

.
, .
,

L indsay and Brown —a tall grave married man

, , ,

w ith a b eard—was kn ock ed up after midnight b y

a pol i ceman i n a four Wheeler and invited to pro -
,

o e c d to the police station to b ecome bail for a

gentleman S uch i s the case however ; and Mr
.
, .

g
P la i s ant in su ffic i ently clad in a n improv i sed co stume
, ,

w a s the mean s of saving his collea u e from having

to spend the remainder of the night in the cell s .

D esp it e his monachal aspect Mr P lai sant displayed .

a wealth o f under standing and toleranc e o n thi s

o ccasion .

T h e next morn i n g Mr R eddy w a s again ab s ent .

from the warehouse for a t i me b u t upon bu sin e ss o f ,

a differen t nature and Mr P la i sant accompanied ,

.

h im . A man o f your age and re spectable

appearance sa i d the magistrate ,
’
ought t o ,

know b etter sorry to se e you in this situation

hope it will b e a le sson h alf a gu inea and
co st s . And later o n when young Mr L in dsay
’
, .

popped his head i nside the match b o x of an o ffi ce -

and grin ned he said Glad yo u got it over all right

, ,

P laisant s told me ’
D on t let the P ater kn ow he
.
’
,

mightn t like it Mu m s the word !

’
D ecidedly
.
’ ’

young Mr L indsa y w a s a sport

. .

D i d Mr R eddy ever regret h i s mome n t o f revolt

.

H e pursued his peaceful career among st t h e fat

ledger s a s plac i dly as a p i ece o f mach in e ry and n e ver ,

again w as Mr P la i sant rung up in the night season

.

VO L . III .
P
226 R EV O LT OF M R . R EDD Y

on account In h i s lock ed bre a s t w as th at

h is .

adventure a cherished memory o r a gnaw i ng so rrow

Who shall say But when he overheard t h e lad s
i n the d i nner ho u r telling of last S aturday n ight
,

there was a sub du ed gleam i n Mr R eddy s eye th at

.
’

s omehow s po k e o f u nderstand i ng
.
 LI F E

C H AP T ER I

G E O GRA P H I C
AL

T H Enoon express from S t P ancras was runn ing.

into S alch e s t e r and as the train swept under the

,

b ridge Maggie H eywood leaned forward i n her seat

in the third class din ing car and surveyed the
- -

prospect thus suddenly revealed S pread o u t in

.

’
front o f her was that small patch o f the earth s
surface upon wh i ch she had almost cont i nuously ,

ever since s h e could rememb er existed and w o r ,

shipped i n the narrow limits o f which were centred

all her hopes her fears and her a ffections
, , .

Ages ago all this flat expanse was sub j ect to the
S eymer before that river shrank to the tin y trickle
,

that makes o n e marvel when o n e look s down upon

,

it from the footb ridge at T hompson s C rossing that ’

,

only forty miles away at B i rk e n spo o l i ts b osom should

b e b road enough to b ear the m i ghtie st o f those
vehicles that man s ingenuity has contrived to
’

enab le him to traverse the ocean surrounded b y all

v
the comforts of a fi rst class railway hotel Wh en
- .

the S eymer o e rflo w e d its banks in those days i t

tran sformed all these square miles into marsh where ,

the w i ld fowl lurk ed in the s edge s ; n o w o n e control s

-

2 29
23 0 L I FE

the S eymer with a two foot dike and d i rects i t s

-
,

s upe rfluous flood s i nto neat l i ttle meadow s where i n

the w i nter o n e may sk ate for S i xpence w i th the

certa i nty o f e n cou n ter i ng no wors e a d i sa ster than
a wet ankle .

Magg i e s aw before her the marg in o f open cou n try

ly i ng j u st out s i de the grow ing ring o f a great c i ty ,

the marg i n that w i ll be absorb ed i n the n ext twe n ty

years by the advancing edge o f house s a s b lotting ,

paper i s ab sorbed by i nk when y o u upset t h e i nk

b ottle. W i thin the memo ry of men yet l iv i ng a ll
th i s flat land w a s rural not even suburban n arrow
,

lan es rambled about i t from o n e farmhouse t o

another occa s ional clumps o f trees clustered about
,

t h e bed o f the A nson B rook as it wandered o n to

j oin the S eymer b u t n o t an eminence was there i n
,

an y d i rect i on to b reak the monotony o f the level

hor i z o n N o highway passed through this count ry
.
,

becau s e for a stretch o f five miles there w a s no

br i dge across the S eymer nothing from the o n e at
,

N a yle wh i ch carried the h i gh road to B i rk e n spo o l

,

and C hester until you came to the o n e at S o u t h e n d e n

,

and the main road to the south E ven n o w i n all

.
,

that five miles there w a s noth ing to g ive yo u access

,

i nto C heshire except the iron footbr idge at T hompson s ’

C ros sing a n d that w a s o f a date s o recent that

,

greybeards could tell o f the day s when the cross ing

w a s a cros s i ng indeed a n d o ld T hompson k ept a
,

boat at the i nn o n the C heshire ban k and ferr i ed

y o u a cros s when you hailed him ; unt i l o n e stormy
night when the b oat b eing s o leaky and T h o m p
,

s o n s o dru n k they both went to the bottom an d

, ,

T homp s on w a s drowned i gnom i n i ously i n four fee t

23 2 L I FE

not only a b rougham to take them i nto town each

morn i ng but even m i n i ature grounds round their
,

mans i ons w i th drives and lodges at the gate s T hat

, .

w a s forty year s ago Where are those merchants

.

now ! T hey have gone to pleasanter and more

picture s qu e surroundings to D erby sh i re o r N orth
,

Wales whence they come in each morn ing o n the

,

expres s ; to Alder s C liff o r C ranford among the

’

C heshire lanes A nd with their migration the arr ival

.

o f the motor car had much to do

-
.

N ot all o f those who work fo r their bread in S al

chester even though they be the i r o w n ma sters
,

and proprietors o f b usinesses can afford lodge s and ,

carr i age dr i ve s and there sprang up near Manley

,

Ro w a d i str i ct s oc i ally i t s equal though financially

i ts in fer i or T hat distr i ct was called P r i nce s P ark
.
’
.

Ab out the t i me when it had been made thoroughly

pla i n through the wr i tings o f Mr S amuel S mi les
, .

and s i milar philanthropists that y o u would get more ,

work o u t o f your lab our i ng class if y o u provided i t

w i th a little d i straction o r recreat i on the S alch e st e r ,

Ci ty C ouncil undertook the b e n e fi c e n t labour o f

prov i ding a series o f public park s fo r the people .

A s however owing to the high cost o f the land it

, , ,

was found almo st i mpo s sib le t o provide the park s

j u st where the people actually lived several o f them ,

were con str u cted o n the outskirts o f the city ; and

among st the s e w a s o n e i n the neighb ourhood o f
Man ley R o w known a s P r ince s P ark It was called
,
’
.

P r in ce s P ark fo r the excellent rea son that just before

’

i t w a s opened A lb ert E dward P rin ce o f Wales ,

( afterwards called to the T hrone a n d known as

E dward the P eacemak er ) w a s mercifully re stored ,
 L I FE 23 3

to convale s cence after an attack o f diphtheria ,

amid st the ceremonious thanksgivings o f a devout

and loyal nation ; and i t occurred to the authorities
that there could be no b etter way o f handing down
to posterity the emotions evoked o n this historic
occa sion than by namin g the acre s o f tiny shrub s ,

the avenue o f immature l imes and the tulip beds ,

-
,

a fter H i s R oyal H ighness .

At the time i t was made P r ince s P ark was n o t ’

very much use to the people because the people ,

had to take a horse tram to get to it ; a n d with the

-

fare that o n e would have to pay o n the horse tram -

o n e could b u if one went to the right place as

,y ,

much a s a pint o f b eer ( It is only fair to s a y that

.

the development o f the cit y has carried the people

within reach o f the park and has given to the
,

thr iftiness o f that o ld C ity C ouncil the air of a wise

foresight an d provision for the future ) But for .

all that P rince s P ark was n o t wasted T hat quite

’
.

desirable though less o stentatious residential distr i ct

wh i ch sprang up near Manley Ro w took the fullest
advantage o f it ; and instead o f the people the
comfortab le middle cla s s householder rented at
-
,

a b out fifty pounds a year looked o u t from his

,

windows upon its pretty shrub s and walked through,

i t s l i me avenue each morn i ng on h i s way to the

horse tram A nd P rince s P ark S alch e st e r made
-
.
’
, ,

quite a good addre s s .

A s time went on the magnificence began to depart

from Manley R ow as it does from all things human
,

and the large hou se s began to stand empty for long

period s with an ever grow ing frequency T h e wealthy
-
.

merchants had s ought their fresh retreat s farther o u t

23 4 L I FE

of town and no succe ss ors could be fou n d who

,

would undertak e the main ten anc e o f such heavy

est abl i shments even though the rent s were lo w ered
,

to a ru i no u s level i n order to tempt them T hen .

c a me t h e opportun i ty o f the specula t ive bu i lder .

Grad u ally here and there a mans i o n would fall

, ,

i nt o the hands o f the hou s ebreakers it s ground s ,

would be cut up i nto s mall plots and i ts br i ck s and

,

s tones would be u s ed for the foundations a n d i nner

walls o f the more modest and yet eminently respect

able residences wh i ch arose upon the s i te Manley .

Ro w might be s a i d to have met i t s Waterloo when

t h e famous Manley R o w c r i ck et ground wh i ch had
-
,

s uppl i ed s o many amateurs to the L ancash i re eleven ,

at la st shared a s i milar fate ; when its shattered

pavil i on gaped open to all the w i nds a n d t h e turf ,

w a s rolled up i nto neat little packets to b e bo rne

away to furn i sh forth the new ground o u t o n the other
s id e o f P r i nce s P ark R ailway S tat i on a n d t h e
’
,

prelim i nary excavat i on s for cellar s began to d o t i t s

s urface . But st i ll the distr i ct preserved the plea s ant
character wh i ch i ts abundant tree s and fol iag e had
always g i ven i t T h e tree s were s pared by the
.

builders as far as poss ib le an d great elm s w h i ch

,

had towered over high stone walls now prolonged

a useful i f le s s gloriou s ex i stenc e i nside t in y i ron
r i ng fen c e s at the edge o f the footpaths
-
B ec au s e .

o f i t s vegetat i on Manley R o w w a s still an agreeabl e

place i n the h o t summer days even i f it w a s—as

v
,

i t s detractor s maintained—rather damp in the w i nter .

And n o w at the beginn in g o f the reign o f George

,

there was very little difference b etween Man ley

R ow an d P rince s P ark except th i s m atter o f
’
,
23 6 L I FE

property in it deprec i ated i n value Both Manley .

Ro w and P rince s P ark were adm i rabl y s i tu ated in

’

thi s respect T h e trams cam e up P rince s R oad a s

.
’

far as the park gates passing only shop s o n the way

, ,

and turned past the C on servat ive C lub up S car

b o r ough R oad to the very edge o f the Ro w but no
farther T hey might not enter the s e de sirab le
.

paradi ses o f the comfortable middle cla ss i t s eemed , .

A t lea st s o it had seemed until lately but n o w queer

, ,

rumours had got about that the T ramways C om

m i t t e e was contemplat i ng an exte n s ion right up the
re s i dential portion o f P r ince s R oad and even a ’
,

farther extension from the end o f P rince s R oad ’

along the E gerton R o a d a s far a s C hiltern w i th -

Manb y which would be most unfortunate since i t

, ,

might b e expected to spoil the E gerton R oad as a

promenade and even lead to the erection o f small
,

property o f an undes i rab le character T h e top i c .

was much discussed at afternoon tea and there was ,

some talk o f a petition b eing presented to the C ounc i l

again st the scheme and at lea st o n e mun i cipal
,

election was fought o n it T h e E gerton R oad was

.

crowded each S unday at C hurch P arade though ,

very little used at other tim es .

A s Maggie H eywood looked forth from the window

o f the train i t was the newest and farthest extension
,

o f P r ince s P ark that caught her eye L ying mor e

’
.

to the north were the older part o f the park and the
district of Manley R o w and o n the northe rn horizon
,

w a s the delicate fringe of chimneys topped by a

haze of smoke that mark ed t h e city itself C lo s e .

under the train was the new Manley Ro w c ricket

ground looking very smart with it s rin g o f n e w
,
 L I FE 23 7

fencing and t h e neat new p avilion the ladie s tennis

, ,
’

pav ilion t h e shed i n which lived the horse who

,

pu lled t h e roller and the s cor i ng board and sight

,
-

b o a rd s . Green the groundsman was engaged i n

, ,

roll in g the p itch and presently he would b e putt ing

,

up the pract i ce net s in readine s s for the young men

who wou ld shortly be home from the city Maggie .

wondered whether Bob by her b rother would b e

, ,

tu rnin g up for practice tha t evening T h e train .

thundered through the little suburban stat i on which

v
,

nob ody ever u s ed b ecaus e t h e trams were more con

e n i e n t an d cheaper and pa st the grove o f trees which
,

clu stered about the A nson Brook just here and gave
the station a pleasantly rural aspect ; and M aggie
wondered whether the brook had b egun to smell
yet a s it invariably did in the h o t weather In t h e
, .

hot weather the brook rivalled the trams a s a topic

o f conversation , and it was a que stion whether the
factor i es wh i ch polluted it higher up in its course
could not be prosecuted ; o r at least whether the
co rporation could not be forced to culvert the length
o f the stream which lay near to respecta b le dwellings ,

i n order to hide the noisome scent from the nose of man .

Ju st b eh ind the station through the trees Maggie

, ,

could s e e for a moment the newish red b ri c k houses -

o f A rgyll R oad lying j ust o f f P rince s R oad fart hest

’

, ,

outpo sts of S alch e st e r o n the south side It was he r e.

that Maggie lived and for a moment sh e regretted

,

tha t the expre s s ran right through to the Midland

S tation in S alch e st e r without st opping at P rince s ’

P ark
’
. It was annoying to pa s s so near to one s home
and to be unable to get o u t But t hen she thought
.

w ith pleasure of the taxi drive o u t from the city ,

23 8 L I FE

and o fher n e w trunk o f yellow compre s sed c a n e w h i ch

g
would b e perched by the side o f the chauffeur i n ,

c o m m o d in h i m a s they drove up i nto A rgyll R oad .

If sh e had got out at t h e stat i on her trunk would

have been b rought home by a boy on a trolley ,

perhaps to the back gate and i t looked well fo r ,

people to se e you com i ng hom e w ith a trunk there

w a s none o f that sugge s tion o f a measly week end -

a bout a trun k which a portmanteau conveyed S he .

had b een no le s s than three weeks i n L ondon o r to

W
,

b e more precise i n W i mbledon an d sh e was rathe r

, ,

proud o f i t . It had been nice o f her cousin A lice

to have her for s o long though t o be sure sh e had
,

made her s elf very u seful for it w a s not long s inc e

,

A lice had had her bab y and o f course sh e w a s n t

,
’

very s trong yet S till three week s in L ondon

.
,

s ounded well , and V iolet Brady w h o lived o n t h e

,

oppo s it e side o f A rgyll R oad had only bee n to ,

L ondon w i th her father a nd mother dur i ng h it

Week .

Magg i e wondered as t h e tra i n slipped past C h iltern

,

with Manby and plunged a mongst wareho u se s and

-

mills r i sing like boulders amongst the s eeth i ng slum s ,

whether there would be a n y o n e to meet her at the

Midland S tation It would be too early for Bobby
.

to get away from Barley Brothers b u t her father , ,

who had a bus i ne s s of his o w n m ight be there , ,

unles s he had been detained o n the R oyal E xchange .

L ooking do w n from the v i aduct upon a ro w o f ram

s hackle advert i sement pl a stered dwell ing s w ith their
-

fi lthy shattered window s Magg i e rather hoped that

,

there would be no o n e so that sh e could order t h e

,

porters a n d chauffeurs abo u t for hers elf An d a s .

2 40 L IFE

No I came t o meet you

. .
’

Me ! Magg i e st a red at h i m and the n remem

’
,

b ered her manners It s awfully k i nd of y o u

.
’
.

But how d i d yo u k n ow I should be on th i s tra i n

’
Your mother told me .

Oh .
’

Mr Si mon grabb ed at a p a ss in g porter and pre

. ,

se n t ly they were rolling up Ci ty R oad and Great

Johnson S treet i n the taxi cab A ll the t i me Mr -

. .

S imon w a s talking plea santly about matters o f

general i nterest and Maggie was an swering pe rfu n c
,

t o rily hardly li sten i ng wonderi n g h o w it w a s th a t

, ,

Mr S imon should have done such a strange thing

.

a s to come an d meet her at the station It w a s t ru e .

that i t s eemed the mo st natural thing in the world .

Mr S i mon w a s such a s i mple s traightforw a rd man

.
,

that whatever he did s eemed n atu ral an d he w as not ,

n o w i n the least embarra s sed If he had he sitated .

and s earched for something to say n o w and then

Magg i e might have suspected that he w a s want ing
to mak e love to her but h i s confident and k ind ,

manner put any such susp i c i on o u t o f her head .

Be s i de s Mr Si mon w a s the min i ster o f the chapel

, .

wh i ch Magg i e attended ; and though sh e w a s aware

that We sleya n m i n i ster s fell in love and b ecame
engaged and married like the re st o f mank ind sh e ,

could hardly imag i ne them going about the bus i ness

in the same w ay as a lay member o f the body would
go abou t i t .

I s n t i t nice t o be home again

’
said Mr S imon . .

I always think that t h e be st part o f going aw ay is

the home coming -
.
’

N o w Maggie had b een th i nk i ng h o w mean an d s ordid

 L IFE 2 41

the S outh S a lc h e st e r streets appeared after the

S trand and Bond S treet when sh e w a s not thinking ,

a b out Mr Si mon s reason for meeting her and as he

.
’
,

put th i s question she looked o u t on P r ince s P ark ’

o n the left hand and thought what a poor a f fair it

was after H yde P ark an d sh e looked o u t o n the ,

villas o n the right hand and compared them to their

disadvantage with the villas o n W i mb ledon H ill .

But sh e did n o t say so O n the contrary sh e said .

,

Y e s indeed it i s nice to b e home again

’
, , .

S he said this b ecause though Mr S imon was o n .

qu i te familiar terms with her family sh e con s idered ,

’
him her father s friend rather th a n her o w n and

W
,

sh e felt i t would b e rude not to pretend sh e liked to

b e back again in S a lch e s t e r after he h ad s o u n

accountably come to meet her But sh e noted as .
,

they turned into A rgyll R oad that the houses look ed ,

s maller than they used to and that the patch o f ,

w a ste land at the corner with the b ro k en down wall ,

-

that the errand boys were gradually pull ing to

p i ece s w a s almost an eyesore
,
.

h en the chauffeur had carried the tru nk up to

the front door Mr S imon pa i d him Maggie had her
, . .

purse in her hands .

O h Mr S imon I can t let yo u pay

, .
,
’
.
’

P lease he said as he took her hand and shook

,
’
,

it warmly please .
’

Won t yo u come in
’
I dare say there 11 b e s ome ’

N ot to day thank s -
, . I shall see you aga in soon .

P erhap s to -morrow
’
.

R a i sin g h i s hat he strode away leaving Magg i e ,

more p u z zled tha n ever . Mrs . H eywood h ad b e e n

VOL 1 1 1
. . !
2 42 L IFE

in the back garden cutt i ng sweet peas and h a d not -

,

noticed the arrival o f the taxi S he k issed Maggie .

o n b oth cheek s and said how well sh e looked and ,

wo n dered h o w it was that Mr H eywood hadn t .

’

managed to meet the train and come home with

her in the taxi .

Mr Si mon came to meet me

. .
’

D id b e ! T hat was very kind o f him

’
Maggie .

noticed that her mother did not seem at all sur

prise d D idn t you ask h i m in
’
.

’
H e wouldn t stay fo r tea
’
.

M rs H eywood nodded sagely

. Your father has .

someth i ng to talk to you ab out when he comes home

’
to night
-
.

H e r tone was myster i ous and Magg i e b ecame ,

rather alarmed and tried to recollect whether sh e

,

had done anything while she had b een away that her
father might disapprove o f S he could not th i nk
.

o f a nything except t w o o r three visits to thea t res in

L ondon and although Mr H eyw ood was not very

, .

favourab ly in clined towards the theatre he could ,

hardly b e said to disapprove o f it .

What do you mean mother ,

Mr S imon want s to marry you my dear

.
, .
’

Marry me said Maggie Mr S imon 1

. .
2 44 L I FE

After tea they all three went i nto t h e back garden

and sat in t h e shade of the str i ped red and wh it e
tent Mr H eywood first looking over t h e wall to
, .

make sure that t h e J e s se ls were n o t o u t i n the i r

garden for i t would hardly do to hav e the conversa
,

t i on overheard T hen he went over the whole affa i r

.
,

and told h o w Mr Si mon had spo k en to him about.

it and how he had promi s ed to put i t to Magg i e

, .

Mr H eywood w a s a reserved man and when he

.
,

spoke he spoke b riefly and to the point a n d in his ,

quiet way he mentioned the advantage s that might

b e expected from a marr i age with Mr S imon . .

O f course a Wesleyan min i ster is not too well

paid Maggie but Mr S imon has some private means
, , . .

H e has told me exactly h o w he is s ituated and o n ,

the whole I th i nk that you might very easily do

worse than marry him T hen a gain he i s very .
, ,

popular and well liked a s a preacher ; he is sure-

to get on and b ecome o n e o f the best k nown men -

in the connexion .
’

H e will pro b ably b e P resident o f the C onference

b efore he dies H eywood s tro k i ng b ack
’
s aid Mrs , .
,

s ome untidy ends o f flu ffy hair It occurred to .

Maggie looking at her mother after an ab sence o f

,

three week s that Mrs H eywood s ha i r always was

, .
’

unt i dy and that sh e was always push i ng it b ack

,

into place with the t ip s o f her fingers S he had .

always d one it yet Magg i e s aw that sh e had never

,

really noticed the trick b efore S he look ed away at .

her father who was sharpening the end o f a wooden

,

match with his penk n i fe in order to pick his teeth .

S he w a s consc i ou s o f a certa i n annoyance and stared ,

hard at t h e row o f sw eet pea s i n front o f t h e tent -

 L I FE 24 5

so th at sh e wo u ld not s e e h i m perform the operat ion .

J i m c ou s in A l i ce s husband d i d n o t pick his teeth

’
, ,

at all in pub lic S he wondered whether Mr S imon

. .

would do so after they were married if sh e decided

to accept him .

But father why d i dn t Mr S i mon propose to

, ,
’
.

me
N o doub t he thought that under the circumstances
i t might be better to Speak to me fi rst .
’

T h e circumstances
B eing o u r m i ni ster and a personal friend o f my ,

own

Yes I se e I must admit that I e never thought

.
, .

of Mr S imon in that way at all H e hasn t ever .

’
v ’

seemed to care for me in that way either , .

’

My dear Maggie said Mrs H eywood chasing ,

’
.
,

an unruly wisp o f flu ffy hair you couldn t expect a ,

’

man in Mr S imon s position to b ehave like o n e o f

.
’

’
the b oys o f the neighbourhood .

Why not
H e has his reputation to think o f It would .

never do for people to say he was in the habit o f

fli rt i ng w i th girls at the chapel
’
.

H e could have let me s e e that he w a s fond o f me

without any danger o f such things be i ng said .
’

You must allow him to b e the be st j udge of that ,

’
Maggie .

Mr H eywood lighted his pipe and smoked placidly

.

whilst his wife and daughter continu ed the argument .

H e a dm i red and respected Mr S imon and was pre . ,

pared t o b e very con s iderab ly influenced by him in

s pite o f his youth b y virtue o f the o fficial position
,

he held Yet Mr H eywood w a s n o t a man who

. .
2 46 L IFE

would try an d force Maggie to marry anybody sh e

did not want to marry and he could not help feeling
,

-
though n o t by any mean s a man well acqua i nted
with the world—that Mr S imon had in th i s case.

carried correctness almo st to the p oint o f coldne s s .

John H eywood w a s a m an who did noth i ng u n

expected H e had b een put into a little yarn agency
.

b usiness by his father a s a young man and h i s ,

industry and prob ity had enab led him to mak e a

decent l iving out o f it but h i s lack o f imagination
,

and enterprise had prevented his eve r doing any

thing more H e had married the rather pretty and
.

gentle girl who was n o w Mrs H eywood without a n y

, .
,

violent passion b ecause something o f the sort w a s

,

expected o f mo st young men o f h i s age H e had .

been b rought up a Wesleyan b y his parent s a n d had ,

never had the idea o f b eing anything el se though ,

it i s true that he had not been an enthu sia st i c clas s

member nor h ad he held office a t the chapel But
, .

th at too w a s no doubt owing to h i s lack o f imag i na

, ,

tion H e had b rought up his two children Maggie

.
,

and her younger brother Bobby as he had bee n ,

brought u p himself i n the dull a tmosphere o f the

,

home ; a n d had tru sted to i ts influence to shield

them a ga i n st the evils that swarmed i n the world
out s ide but had not otherw i se troubled t o warn
,

them again st those ev i l s In con s equence he knew

.

ab solutely nothing about what his children really

felt o r thought o n any importa nt subj ect they were
a s foreign to him as if they had been H ottentots o r

Japanese T hey formed their o w n conclu s ion s and

.

kept quiet ab out them It is true that they formed

.

tho s e c o n c lu s mn s rather more slowly than they would

248 L I FE

people not at all like the b rilliant and cultivated

,

person s who inhab ited the villas o n W i mb ledon H ill .

S he supposed i t w a s becau se her parents were pro

Vi n c i a ls and i t struck her with rather the e ffect
,

o f a cold douche that sh e herself was a provinc i al

too S o was Bob b y s o were all the inhab itants o f

. ,

A rgyll R oad o f S alch e st e r even C ertain splend i d

, .

ones there were who were le s s provincial who talked

, ,

o f L ondon as T own and went there when they felt

’
,

inclined and who when in S alch e st e r dined and spent

,

a good deal o f their time at t h e n e w C entral H otel

near the Midland S tation If o n e could be o f such .

a s those even ,

A nd I m sure he is extremely devoted to you

’
,

Maggie though no doubt he isn t the kind o f man

,
’

who would wi sh t o show i t t o o much unt i l he w a s

sure that it would b e returned .
’

Magg i e gathered that her mother w a s still talking

about Mr Si mon and had a guilty feeling that it
.
,

was almost i ndecent o f her to have forgotten him

altogether after he had been so k i nd as to w i sh to
marry her .

It i s true that at the end o f h i s t i me in another ,

couple o f years that i s he will be moved to another ,

circuit T hat would mean that we should lose yo u

.

b u t you may b e sure that he w i ll get an important

chapel for as your father says he i s the k ind o f
, , ,

energet i c young m i ni ster the Wesleyan C hurch is

s o much i n need o f n o w and wherever he goe s your
pos i t i on a s his w i fe will en sure yo u the greate st
prominence soc i ally and in every way in the Body
, , , .
’

( T h e Body in N onconformist circles means the

’
, ,

memb ers o f that particular ch u rch community o r , ,

 L IFE 249

c o n n ex i on to which the speaker b elong s Wh en .

a person i s referred to as a very b ig man in t h e

Bod y the reference is to his standing with his
,
’

fellow members not to h i s physical peculiarities )

-
, .

I don t th in k I love Mr S imon sa i d Maggie

’
.
,
’

slowly .

Mr H eywood said nothing H e was aware that

. .

i t is not at all necessary for people to b e in love t o

have a very happy and comfortab le life together .

H e was aware o f thi s because o f his o w n marr ied

experience but he s aid nothing b ecause it would
, ,

have seemed rather b ru tal to mention such a fact

especially before h i s wife Mrs H e w o o d said
O h Maggie i n a grieved tone that expre s se d r eg ret
’
. . v ,

, ,

that Maggie could not s e e her way to love at short

not i ce such a nice man as Mr S imon . .

D oes he love me 3
‘

E vidently o r he wouldn t want to marry you

’ ’
, ,

replied Mrs H eywood quickly sk ating over the

.
,

s ub j ect as lightly as possi b le and getting away from

i t for at the b ottom o f her heart sh e had an u n c o m

,

fo rt a b le idea that i t was perhaps hardly decent for

a Wesleyan mini ster to love anyb ody except his G o d .

I don t think I want to marry Mr S imon

’
. .
’

g
Mrs H eywood sank back in her chair with a s igh
.
,

and her husband k n ocked o u t his pipe and o t up .

V er y well my dear he said

’ ’
that s settled
, , , .

I 11 s e e Mr S imon about it
’
. .
’

Where are yo u going John ,

I shall stroll round to the cricket gro u nd and -

watch the practice Will you come w ith me .

,

Maggie
Ye s said Maggie not because she expected there
’
, ,
2 50 L I FE

would be anyth i ng amu s ing at the cr i ck et ground -

,

but becau s e sh e wanted to avoid the cloud o f gentl e

’
reproaches which sh e saw gathering in her mother s
eye T h e cr i cket ground b ored her except o n a fine
.
-
,

S aturday S h e was n o t fond o f tennis and preferred

.
,

to s it in a deck chair near the pavilion and watch

-

the cr i cket though s h e cared as lit tle for cricket

,

as for tennis It was the men sh e liked to look at

.
,

not the game But somehow it was not the men

.

she knew whom sh e liked to look at : Bob by nor ,

A lfred and R itchie Brady nor even F rancis L avigne , ,

the popular captain o f the F irst E leven T he se sh e .

had known as boys and they did n o t interest her

, .

It was the strange men o n the V i s iting eleven s to

whom she was introduced on fine S aturday s and ,

who would bring her tea and squat o n the grass ,

b eside her deck chair and talk when their side was
-
,

batting It pleased her to look at their faces b urnt

.

b y the su n and the glimpse of su n b urnt chest V isib le

,
-

where the t o p t w o o r three b uttons o f their shirts had

been left unfastened and to wonder what they were
,

really like under their pleasant manner and their

polite chaff S he would have found the same plea
.

’
sure i n dances b u t the H eywood s circle w a s n o t o n e
,

that went in for dances very much .

When Maggie and Mr H eywood entered the ground .

through the little gate cut in the wooden fence ,

Bob b y w a s standing at the door o f the pavilion w ith

h i s pads o n for he had j ust finished b atting
, As .

they strolled round Maggie ob served that he w a s

holdin g a glas s of beer in his hand b u t Mr H e y , .

wood did not s e e Bobby at all S uddenly B obb y .

caught sight o f his father and disappeared within

2 52 L I FE

he he a rd where sh e had j u st come back from h e ,

bega n to talk about L ondon and sa i d h o w fo n d he

w a s o f it .

I try and get up at least once every year to have ,

a loo k at what s going o n and do a fe w theatres

’
.
’

Yo u like going to theatres

V ery much D on t you
’
.

O h yes b u t I don t get many chances

, F ather ’
.

and mother hardly ever go and Bob b y goe s o ff to ,

mu sic halls with h i s friends

-
.
’

Get him to take yo u .

’

T o a music hall 9 -

Why not T hey are t h e most re spectable kind

o f theatre nowadays
’
.

’ ’
I wouldn t mind In fact I d love to go but I .
,

don t k now what father would s ay

’
.
’

H e let s you go to the ordinary theatres

We go to the S h ak espeare productio n at the
! ueen s every winter a n d to F R B en s on a n d
’
, . .
,

s ometimes to the R epertory T heatre but they do ,

such queer th i ngs a t time s that father is rather chary

o f taking me there I i magine he s afra i d o f hearing
.
’

something he might b e a shamed Of .

’

Yo u went to theatre s in L ondon

Jim took m e three t i mes We went to the .

H aymarket and D aly s and o f cours e t o H i s Ma

’
, ,

je st y s D on t you love T ree

’ ’
.

George F ergus son smiled in rather a superior way .

T ree Well o n e used to like T ree but isn t he ’

, ,

v
rather exploded nowaday s
Is he
’
I didn t know But how do yo u manage .

to find t i me to get away s o often

I m in a b ank yo u se e a n d we ha e three week s
’
, ,
’
 LI FE 253

holiday every year I take a few days early in t h e .

spring if I can manage it and the rest late in the

, ,

autumn .
’

Yes What b ank are y o u in

.

P ersse s T h e head office in Morley S treet

’ ’
. .

v
T hat s father s bank i sn t it
’ ’ ’
,

v
’
Yes ; I e often seen your father come in b u t ,

I e never met him because I m n o t o n the counter

’ ’
.
’

I suppose you re awfully good at cricket ’

Me N O I m no good b u t it s a fine exercise

’ ’ ’
, , .

R ot said Bob b y,
’
D on t you b elieve him H e s .
’
.
’

quite useful H e made twelve not o u t last week

.

for the S econd H e s playing at home on S aturday .

’

you d b etter come and se e for yourself

’
.
’

Geo rge laughed H e was glad to appear a skilful .

v
cricketer in the eye s o fMiss H eywood
I e never seen yo u up here b efore sa i d Mr
’
.

v
,

v
.

H eywood .

N o I e only just j oined the club I e come

.
’
.
’

to live i n Manley Ro w .
’

Whereabout s
B rantwood R oad L odgings you know I e
found quite a decent landlady for a change
.
,

.
’
.
’
v
,

’
’
I m very glad to have met y o u said Mr H e y , .

wood as they shook hands

, Y o u must get Bo b b y .

’
to b ring you round to the hou s e some night It s .

lonely for a young man liv ing i n lodgings .

’

T hanks very much said George look ing at ,

’
,

Maggie .

George F ergusson thought a good deal ab out

Maggie that night H e r s lim firm figure and dark .

eye s attracted him and he felt that there w a s a fire ,

in t hose eyes at present merely limpid which might ‘

2 54 L I FE

be roused by conversation other than that consisting

o f polite commonplaces H i s o w n lively beady eye s
.

glistened as he thought o f her well marked arched -

b row s and the w a y her cr i sp dark hair sprang away

from her temple s and clung round the nape o f her
neck H e r lips t o o were well cut firm and red
.
, , , , .

A ltogether a determ i ned young woman well worth ,

ge t t ing to k now b etter .

Magg i e o n the other hand hardly thought anything

, ,

ab out George F ergusson except that here was ,

another of tho s e people who were c i vilised enough

to understand the dullness of S a lch e s t e r and the
super i or attract i ons o f the capital H i s conversa .

t ion had merely accentuated t h e dissatisfact i on s h e

had felt when sh e came once again to t h e mean
streets o f S a lc h e st e r the familiar rooms at home
,

with the worn furnitu r e the high tea so disagreeab le

,

after the sma r t little dinners at A lice s S he lay ’

.

in b e d that night thinking i n the clean unattractive,

room i n which she had slept for over ten years ever ,

since they had moved out to A rgyll R oad from

S ca rb orough R oad and sh e wondered h o w much
,

longer she would have to sleep i n i t S he wanted a .

room like cousin A lice s with a dressing tab le that

’
,
-

glittered w ith silver b rushes and mirrors and countles s

litt le bottles and a wonderful wardro b e with shallow
,

trays and cunning contrivance s for hanging clothes

without crushing them S he rememb ered that to
.

morrow she would slip into her o ld life at home ,

that sh e would help Mary the maid to mak e the , ,

b eds and would then help her mother to make the

,

pastry for the week end ; that in the afternoon sh e

-

would prob ab ly go down the road to the shop s t o

2 56 L I FE

had a hundred pounds o r so she m i ght run away and

try to make som e sort o f a l iving for herse lf in
L ondon D i d Bobby ever hav e ideas lik e thes e
.

S he didn t know but sh e knew that Bob b y had a

’
,

chance o f gratifying such des i res if he expe ri enced

them whereas sh e unaided could do noth ing b u t
, , ,

endure O h for something for someb ody to take

. ,

her o u t o f the rut sh e had been in all her life the ,

rut she was ab out to fall i nto once more

T hen with a shock sh e awoke for sh e was almo s t ,

asleep and sh e said to herself suddenly Why n o t

, ,

marry Mr S imon .

S he had completely forgotten i n her m i sery and ,

self pity that sh e had received a proposal o f marri age

-
,

durin g the day O f course it was n o t surp ris i ng

.
,

that it should have made s o little impression o n

her couched as it was i n the cold i rrelevance of a
,

message delivered by a third person i t m i ght have

moved her much more i n spite of i ts unexpectednes s
, ,

i f Mr S imon had sa i d a fe w b roken words in the taxi

. .

S he had actually noted the fact that sh e w a s i nvited

t o marry as coolly as sh e would have noted an
invitation t o afternoon tea and having noted i t sh e ,

returned to the contemplation o f her own pr ivate

woes It never occurred to her to put the t w o things
.

together until this moment S he d i d not love Mr . .

S imon that was certain But once ignore that fact

, .
,

look at the advantages marriage with him would

ensure ! S he would get away from home and the
o ld life ; that was the most i mportant advanta ge .

S he would have a house o f her o w n money o f her ,

o w n ( sh e remembered Mr Si mo n s pr i vat e means );

.
’

s h e would at once take a posit i on in chapel c i rcles

 L I FE 2 57

in fer i orto none ; sh e w ould be a more important

person than her o w n mother T hen in a couple of .

years Mr Si mon would b e moved to another circuit

.
,

and there w a s no kn owin g where h e might not go ;

perhap s to a fashionabl e watering place even to -
,

L ondon it s elf S he did not love him but he was a

.
,

fin e look in g vigorou s man with a personality not

-
, ,

at all unplea sing S he lik ed h im and might easily

.
,

get to l ik e him very much more It was merely .

b ecause sh e had never thought o f the minister of her

o w n chapel in in timate relations with herself t hat
this marriage had seemed impossib le to her when
first it w a s proposed But a Wesleyan minister was
.

a man like all other men ; st rip away the cloth and
you found the human b eing T rue there might b e .
,

duties she would have to perform ; there were dut i e s

o f co u rse but they would b e performed with all the
,

author ity o f her position beh in d them ; they would

be plea s ant to perform It wouldn t b e like help ing
.
’

Mary to make the beds S he would th i nk a b out i t .

in the morn i ng S he fell asleep . .

S he got down to breakfast b efore Bo b b y a n d found ,

her father and mother at the tab le .

F ather I think I should like to marry Mr S imon

,
.
,

’
after all .

My dear sa i d Mrs H eywood her eye s beginn in g

. ,

to fill as sh e gazed lovingly at Maggie pushing b ack ,

some stray wisp s o f hair at the same time L a st .

night I prayed that you might be moved to alter

’
your mind .

Maggie did not reply but sh e noticed her mother

,

cutting the lo af w i th the fingers that had so recently

b een rearranging the untidy hair and was more ,

VO L 111
. .
R
2 58 L I FE

glad th a n ever that sh e had decided to marry

Si mon .

V ery w ell s a i d
’ ’
H eywood that s s ettled
I 11 see Mr S imon about it to —
.
, ,
’
’
. day .

And began to fash i on a toothp i ck o u t o f a match

before rising from the table .
2 60 L I FE

well ; sh e w a s o n e o f those women who would h ave

ma d e adm i rable w i ve s i f they had n o t bee n de fi n i tel y
mark ed o u t from b i rth to b e o ld m a i d s A lre ad y .
,

a t l i ttl e over th i rty sh e w a s develop i ng a s ort o f

,

a ngul a r pr i m n e s s that went well w i th t h e tall n a rrow ,

house i n W i llingdon R oad and t h e posit i on o f ,

ho u s ek eeper to the pa stor o f a Wesleyan C hapel .

S he had the undecided straw coloured h a i r o f her -

b rother as well a s the high cheek b ones which would

,
-

presently when the flesh fell away from them a little

,

more assume an aspect almo st gaunt

, In Mr . .

S imon s case h i s d a rk mou stache lent a contra st to

’

h i s fair hair and s eemed to indicate a strength

,

la ck i ng in Mi ss Agatha but tho s e w h o imagined th a t

,

her placid demeanour was a s ign o f we ak ne ss o f

character were much mi stak en S he w a s a qu i e t .

woman who held o n to a thing with the tenacity o f

a l i mpet for a s long as sh e thought it right to hold
,

on . In fact if we ca n i magine a limpet imbued w i th

,

a strong mora l s en s e we get a good i de a o f M i s s

Agatha s temperament
’
.

M i s s Agatha ro s e from the table a s s oon as sh e

s aw that Mr Si mon had fin i shed and pick in g up
.
,

the S a lch es ter G u ar d i an gla nced at the la st p age to

s e e who w a s de a d who w a s marr i ed and t o whom a
, ,

child h ad b een born T h i s w a s her invar i able custom

.

every mo rn ing .

Just fa ncy H arold only t w o deaths to day

, ,
-
,

and nearly half a column o f wedding s

T h e sub j ect w a s o n e wh i ch occupied Mr S imon s
’
.

o w n thought s at the moment and he started guiltily ,

like o n e who has been surprised in the act o f doing

something n o t quite honourab le H owever he had .
,
 L I FE 2 61

enough self control to make a remark typical of o n e

-

who as pa stor o f souls might b e expected to pos s ess

, ,

a k in dly humour a s well as an a cqua i ntanc e with

the poet s .

In the spring a young man s fancy l ightly turns ’

to thoughts o f love said Mr S imon ,

’
. .

Yo u t o o are still a young man H arold

, , , .
’

Er
’

ye s .

Mr S imon got up and went to the w in dow and

.
,

ga z ed through the open window down the garden .

E arly a s it was the morning su n bla z ed down with

an intense st i llness that gave promi s e o f another
glorious day .

Agatha what would yo u say if I told yo u o n e o f

,

these mornings that I thought o f getting married

A re yo u thinking of getting marr ied
Would you b e surprised
I have b een expec t ing you t o sa y something o f
’
the sort every morning for years .

Agatha
N o dear that is not a reproach I only mean
, , .

that I have recogn i sed all the time that I have ,

lived w ith you that some day yo u would get married

,
.

I have a lways understood that th i s happy tim e

we have spent together could n o t last fo r ever ,

and that some day I should have to mak e way for

you r w i fe I suppose that you a re trying to tell me
.

that that day has come n o w Yo u mustn t be afraid .

’

’
o f hurting me H arold , .

My dear Agatha
Who is sh e H arold O f cou rs e sh e mu st be o n e
,

’
Of the girl s at the chapel .

’
Miss H eywood .
2 62 L I FE

Magg i e H eywood Ye s T h e H eywoods are .

a good o ld We s leyan family I am only surpr i sed .

b ecause I never had the least i dea y o u have

’
k ept s o very quiet a b out her .

P erhap s I have
’
I m not o n e t o talk much
.
,

W
A gatha .
’

An d sh e h a s a ccepted you
‘

Mr Si mon s i lently handed Mr H eywood s letter

. .
’

to his s i ster .

‘
ME M ORAN D U M F RO M JO H N H E Y OOD Co .

‘
1 6A BAC
K M O R LE Y S T REET ,

S ALC
H ES I ER ,
'‘
J un e 2 n d .

D E AR MR . S I M ON , V it h reference
the con
-
V
to
versation we had the other day concern i n g my
daughter Maggie I have spoken to her ab out the
,

matter a n d I am very pleased to s ay that sh e v i ews

,

i t i n the most favourable l ight It came as a c o m .

p le t e surprise to her and sh e naturally wa n ted a little

,

t i me to think i t over but th i s morn i ng sh e came to

,

W
me and said that sh e would be happy to b e your
w i fe C an y o u spare t i me to come up to the house

W
.

this evening ! I think that i t would b e as well if

you had an i nterv i ew with Magg i e at once .

I need not say that this is the source o f the

greatest happiness to M rs H eywood and myself . .

T ru sting to s e e you this eve n ing I am yours ,

very s in cerel y , J O H N H E Y O OD .
’

It i s a very good bus i nes s let t er H arold hy , .

g
d i d he wr ite i t o n the office notepaper I cannot
help feel ing that i t ought to fin i sh up T han k in ,
2 64 L I FE
’
I hope y o u will b e very happy H arold , .

My dear Agatha Y o u don t mi n d

.
’

I h ave no right to mind I shall feel the s epara

.

t i on b u t it had to come s ome da y .

’

Mr S imon ki s sed his sister a ffect i onately

. Well .
,

well it i sn t com in g j u st yet T h in gs don t move

,
’
.
’

’
s o quickly a s all that .

S he ought to th ink hers elf a very luck y g i rl .

’

Miss Agatha went o u t o f the room F irst sh e went .

down in to the k itchen to make the arrangement s for

m i dd a y d i nner and then sh e went up to her room
,

and cried gentl y for nearly an hour Mr S i mon . .

went up in to h i s study prayed for a short t i me

, ,

wrote a note to Mr H eywood and devoted h im s elf

.
,

to the preparation o f the sermon wh i ch he would

preach o n the morrow at C h iltern with Manb y H e - -
.

had cho s en a text o u t o f the fifth chapter o f the

W
S econd E pistle o f P aul the Apostle t o the C orinthians ,

Fo r we wal k by fa i th not b y sight A s he worked ’

.
, ,

j ott i ng down notes and headlines he often found ,

h i mself thin king about Magg i e H eywood and wonder ,

ing exactly h o w to address her that even i ng In .

fact the morning became more a per i od o f prepara

,

tion for the words he w a s to s a y o n the S aturday

n ight than for tho se he was to say o n the S unday .

F or we walk b y fa i th h at d i d Maggie
.

really know about him H o w far w a s she taking

h im o n trust Might it not have been better to
try and get to know from herself a little more ab out
her feelings towards h i m before speak ing to her
father H o w far h ad sh e been da z z led ( God for
give h i m by the po s i t i on he could offer her S he
m i ght have been flattered among st s o many ,
 L I FE 2 65

to b e the o n e singled o u t for the devotion of the

minister there w a s someth ing in that .

Why had he gone to meet her at the Mid land

S tation ; and why havin g gone did he n o t speak
, ,

to her i n the taxi ! A n adm i rable opportunity i f ,

he had seized i t and wasted no t i me Yet you can .

hardly decently intercept a yo ung lady return ing

from a holiday and propo s e to her at t h e stat i on ,

before sh e h a s even unpacked her trunks T hat .

would have been a proceeding s o precip itate after ,

his prev i ous scru pulou sly correct b ehaviour that ,

Mr S imon could not i magine himself do ing it Yet

. .

he had gone to the station w ith some idea of doing

it O r had he gone to look at her once more thi s
.
,

girl w ith whom he had committed h i mself ( although

sh e was u naware o f that ) to look at her and rea s sure
,

h im self that he d i d not regret speaking to her father

No H e w a s certain he had gone del ib erately b ecause
.

it had occurr ed to him that there was something

cold about his method o f seeking the hand o f Maggie
H eywood and he had really i ntended to propose to
,

her in the taxi Why then had he confined himself

.

to polite and k indly commonplaces It was n o t

that he was timid H e would shr ink from no duty
. ,

no matter h o w unpleasant If it had b een nece s sary

.

to S peak to Mr H eywood say ab out an unseemly

.
, ,

fli rtation with a female memb er o f the chapel Mr ,

.

S imon would h ave had no hesitation ab out doing

so ,
in spite o f his comparative youth and Mr H e y .

wood s years ( T his i s a suppos itious case o f cours e

’
. ,

Mr H eywood w a s a man o f b lame le s s morals ) And

.
.

s till he shrank with a sort o f i nst i nct i ve del i ca c y

from putting Magg i e i nto a pos i t i on w h i ch might

2 66 L I FE

emb arrass h e r o r wh i ch he supposed would embarras s

,

her whatever sh e happened t o think o f the proposal

,
.

Mr Si mo n had al w ays thought o f women w ith del i

.

cacy ; he had fought sh y o f them a s a b o y and o f ,

course a s a student a n d a m i n i ster had perm i tted

h i m s elf n o freedoms w i th them .

A ccordingly i t w a s w i th a s ense o f in se cu rit

quite unfamiliar to h i m that h e walked up to t h e
v
top o f Will ingdon R oad a bout the m i ddl e o f that
S aturday aftern oo n and turned to the left i nto
,

E gerton R oad o n h i s way to the H eyw oods Mrs . .

H eywood w a s look ing o u t o f the draw i ng room -

window when he arr i ved and mak i ng a n a m i cable

,

s ign to h i m sh e went to open the front door her s elf ,

though sh e felt wh ile sh e was do i ng i t that o n a

, ,

ceremon i al occas i on l ike thi s it might have bee n

better to adopt a more formal attitud e an d a llow
Mary to answer the bell H owever her exc itement
.
,

got the better o f her A ll the morning Mrs H e y

. .

wood had been consider i ng whether sh e and her

husb and ought not to addre s s Mr Si mon a s H arold .
,

i n order to mak e him at once feel at home in the

house ; but Mr H eyw ood consulted o n h i s return
.
,

home to the S aturday d i nner though t they had ,

better wa i t a while and let thing s tak e the i r natural

course .

C alling J oh n up the staircase Mrs H eyw ood , .

led the way into the drawing room wh i ch had been -

,

g
s pec i ally cleaned out that morn in g although i t w a s ,

n o t the re ular day for cleaning out t h e draw in g

room and had been decorated w i th fre sh flo w ers

,

i n hono u r o f the occa s ion R epres sin g her d e s i re

.

to emb race Mr Si mon o r fa i l i ng that to weep o r

.
, , ,
2 68 L I FE

w indow a s po s s i ble because o f the ne i ghbo u rs o n ,

t h e opposite s ide o f t h e road ) and took her firmly ,

b u t respectfully in h i s a rms T h e emb race had all .

the correctne s s of a rite there w a s noth in g o f the ,

flesh about i t and yet Mr Si mon felt very tenderly

, .

towards this creature who had liked him well

enough to entrust herself and her future i nto h i s
hands .

Mr S imon .

H arold Yo u must call me H arold

. N o more o f .

the Mr S imon Magg i e .

,
!
.
’

C ould o n e call this man H arold It w a s almost

l ike call i ng a C ardinal A rchbishop Bert i e and yet ,
’

i t had to b e done .

H arold there i s o n e th i ng I ought to tell yo u

, .

When my father first told me about y o u I sa i d

’
’
that I didn t think I could marry you .

T hat i s quite natural Maggie T h e whole th i ng , .

w a s spr u ng o n y o u s o quick ly And every pure girl .

must feel instinctively when it c o m e s to the po i nt

‘

, ,

that sh e h a s a natural reluctance to place her life

in the hands o f a man who is after all n o matter how , ,

well sh e may know him a comparat ive stranger ,

.

’
T hat is all .

’
Yes said Maggie as if sh e quite understood what
, ,

Mr S imon was d r iving at ; thou gh as a matter o f fact

.

sh e had never when thinking ab out getting married

,

in the ab stract viewed the placing of herself i n the

,

hand s o f a man stranger o r otherwise in a n y other

, ,

light b u t a pleasant and a welcome o n e .

I felt that you ought to know th i s H arold I , .

’ ’
don t know whether father and mother told you .

Your father said yo u took the night for con s i dera

 L I FE 2 69

t ion . I h av e the fulle st sympa thy and u nderst and ing .

Yo u felt y o u needed guidance .

’

Gu i dance
S pir itual gu i dance I mean A nd i t came to you
, .

i n the n i ght You sa w more clearly afterward s It

. .

is often like that I am glad yo u have told me we

.

mu st have no s ecrets from each other .

’

Magg i e had told h i m becau s e sh e feared th at

Bobb y o r her parent s might i nadvertently let i t out ,

b u t sh e had no o b j ection to tak in g all the credit sh e

could get for the action S he concluded that sh e had
.

come through the preliminary ordeal o f t h e fir st

encounter with H arold very well but sh e could n o t ,

help wi sh ing that he would not addre ss h e r a s if sh e

were a chara cter i n an o ld fa shioned n ovel H e t alk ed
-
.

lik e J ane Austen sh e decided O r in another way

, .
, ,

he ta lked as if he were giving consolation to an

a ffl icted sheep H e talked b eautifully sh e was aware
.
, ,

and with carefully cho s en modulations and inflection s

o f the voice and no doubt a s they got to k now each
,

other better he would adopt a more colloqu ial style .

Meanwhile sh e must try and l i ve up to him Getting

,
.

engaged w a s after all a serious thing very different ,

from the b o y and girl fi irt at i o n s sh e had had long

ago w i th R itch i e Brady and the other lad s T hey .

were empty and pointless and sh e lo st interest in ,

them after a fe w days wh i ch was very largely why

,

sh e had had very little to do w i th young men lately

S he had exhausted the poss ib ilitie s o f the little se t

s h e k new and there had seemed hardly any chance
,

o f widenin g the circle outside the limits o f P rin ce s

’

Pa rk T o be made love to by Mr S imon w a s certainly

. .

a ne w experi ence i f an u nexpected o n e an d sh e

, ,
2 70 L I FE

determined t o get a s much sat i sfa ct i o n o u t o f i t a s

po ss ible .

T hey we n t o u t fo r a w a lk together a n d as th e y ,

pa s sed the cr i ck et ground he sugge sted that they

-

s hould go in s ide but Magg i e had a cur i ou s reluct

,

anc e to show herself with H a rold just yet to t h e

girl s who would be s i tting in the deck chairs and t h e -

yo u ng men i n fl a n n e ls Mr F ergus s on would b e

. .

there sh e rememb ered and sh e wondered what Mr

, , .

F ergusson would think a b out her engagement H e .

would hardl y think o f her as the little provinc i al

girl n o w as sh e had some suspicion he h ad con
,

descendingly done wh i le they talk ed together about

the L ondon theatres .

I would rather not go i nside to day H arold -

, .
’

V ery well my dear Maggie

, Yo u would ra ther .

’
w e were alone I quite understand
. .

S he a sked herself whether he di d quite under

s tand and also whether there w a s anything that h e
,

thought he didn t qu i te understand But a s sh e

’
.

looked up at h i m str iding along by her side sh e ,

observed that he w a s a fine figure o f a man and that ,

his stalwart shoulder s and vigorous moustache and

prominent cheek b one s were not at all unattractive
-
.

T hey walked together past D rake F arm the ,

E lizab ethan house which had got stranded in the

network o f n e w roads that had lightly b een thrown
over the district ; and they took a great deal of
pleasure i n looking at the peacock which lived there ,

and which was fortunately s itting o n a fence as they

pa ssed by H arold took even more pleasure than sh e
.

g
did in the sight and talked much a b out natura l
,

h i stor y ab out which h e k new a ood deal

, .
2 72 L I FE

C H AP T E R IV

11 w a s
“
dec i ded that the wedd i ng should tak e pla ce
s ome time i n the late autumn for there w a s n o ,

reason w h y they should delay D ur in g the s ummer .

Magg i e found herself more and more involved i n

l ittle dut i es and engagements of a nature that ,

before her engagement sh e had alway s scrupulously

,

avoided entering i nto S h e becam e a member o f

.

class and stayed regularly to H oly C ommun i on once

,

a month after the service ; sh e attended prayer

meetings meetings o f the Wesley Guild and t h e
,

L adies S ewing Meetings which followed b y a t e a

’
, , ,

were held every T hursday in a room behind the

n e w s chools .

It was extraordinary to Maggie h o w the s e exerc i s e s

impre s sed and took hold upon her E ven the L ad i es .
’

S ew ing Meetings were invested with some s ort o f

s anctity since the obj ect o f them w a s a worthy o n e
, .

O f cours e i ntellectually sh e w a s shallow ; sh e had

, ,

never b een developed o r had been encou raged to

t ry and develop herself and it was by her emotions
,

that sh e w a s drawn i nto this passionate interest i n

h e r n e w life H arold s earnestness w a s infectiou s ;
’
.

whilst sh e permitted herself privately to critici s e

many o f his actions h i s influence sub dued her natural
,

t aste for light amusement and the vigour w ith which

,

he entered into the b usine ss o f t h e chapel completel y

 L IFE 2 73

carr ied her aw ay i n h i s tra i n It was n o t that sh e .

lost her tast e for exc itement and var i ety but some ,

h o w she found that taste satisfied temporarily at ,

least b y h er n e w occupat i ons It was excit i ng to

, .

find C hrist fully for the first time under the diligent ,

direction of the R ev H arold S imon it w a s exc i ting

.

to b e engaged to a man who was i t seemed o n su ffi , ,

c i e n t ly good terms with C hrist to b e able to know

what H e thought a b out current affairs and what H e ,

would have done i n a particular case H arold spoke .

w i th authority a b out such matters T here was no .

one to quest i on him and Magg i e wou ld not have

,

dreamed of doing s o in t h e early part o f her en gage

ment .

T h e troub le ab out this sort of rel ig i o u s enthu s i a s m

i s that i t is forced as it were and b rought o n rap i dly
, ,

like a plant under glass If the glass b e removed o r

.

shattered the plant is likely to suffer S uch cons i dera .

‘

tions did not occur to Mr and Mrs H eywood T h e . . .

latter was i mpressed b y the change i n Magg i e ; sh e

found her more willing to d o things ab out the house ,

and les s i mpatient if she could not get her o w n way

s h e found i t only natural that Maggie should thus b e

dominated b y the influence o f the man who w a s

to be her husb and and sh e thank ed G o d that that
,

man was a good man and o n e fitted to cope w ith

,

Magg i e ; fo r Mrs H eywood like most mothers k n ew

.
, ,

’
a good de a l more ab out her daughter s character
than she had ever dared to say Mr H eywood looked . .

o n the change with a more material eye H e sa w .

only that Maggie was adapting he r self in a bu sine s s

like way to the new duties she woul d have to perform ,

j ust a s sh e would have had to adapt hers elf to t h e

VO L . III .
S
2 74 L I FE

turn i ng o f day i nto n i ght if sh e had marr i ed a night

watchman o r the periodical ab s ence o f her hu sb and
,

for s everal years together if she had married a polar

exp lorer O nly B ob by had h i s doubt s and he per
.
,

haps kn ew more a b out his s ister than either Mr .

o r Mrs H eywood . H e kept his mouth clo s ed at .

home but a b road he scoffed openly at Maggie s

,
’

having got religion and even permitted himself a ,

s ly d i g or t w o at her when there w a s no o n e by to

reprove h i m T h e asperity w i th which she defended

.

herself from these attack s did n o t hel p to conv i nce

h i m that he w a s wrong .

What i s i t to night he s a i d once a s he was go i ng

-

of f to cr i cket P rayer meet i ng .

-

Ye s
’
.

What do you do at th em
N ever mind Yo u can t be expected to under .
’

’
stand Why don t you come and s e e fo r yourself
.

Get up and relate your experiences Why yo u ,

’ ’
haven t had any to relate .

Bobby you l ittl e swine you re j ealou s I hate

, ,
’
.

’
you .

Jealou s Why should I be j ealous

B ecau s e I m saved and you re n o t ’
,
’
.
’

Bobb y d i sappeared chuckl i ng and Magg i e walked ,

off to the chapel i n a frame o f mind o f wh i ch her

S aviour would not have approved H e r princ ipal .

des i re w a s to be revenged o n Bobby H e r fi ngers .

itched to p i nch him .

T h e L adies S ewin g Meeting w a s the only branch

’

o f activity connected with the chapel that gave

Mr S i mon any serious trouble H e could manage
. .

the Guild and the S unday S chool and the S tewards

, , ,
2 76 LIFE

where she would be restrained from further act iv i t i e s

o f th i s nature N everthele s s it was d i sturb i ng t o
.

Mr S imon to fi nd that o n e who had always been an

.

i ndefatiga b le worker for the cau s e and a regular ,

worshipper should s o unaccountab ly forget herself ;

,

o r perhaps it was disturb i ng that such a o n e should

have been permitted by a H igher P ower to forget

herself T h e opportunity for the r ibaldry o f the
.

lewd was most deplorab le .

T hen there was the case of Mr E dward s and .

Mrs H ammerton T hey were b oth esteemed chapel

. .

goers he was a widower a retired greengrocer w h o ,

had come to live in o n e o f the n e w houses in Manley

R o w and sh e was a plump well preserved widow
, ,
-

who maintained a milli nery business in the com

m e rc ia l portion o f P rince s R oad under the name
’
,

and style o f Madame H ammerton When sh e first .

b egan to attend the chapel she was looked upon w ith

s ome disfavour b y the sta i der memb ers for there ,

w a s a smartness and dash a b out her dress t hat

seemed to argue a lack o f sobriety about her life ;
b u t as time went o n her excellent b ehav i our and
the regularity o f her attendances at the chapel w o n
for her much respect T here were some who said
.
,

however that Madame H ammerton attended chapel

,

s o regularly in order to work up a connection for

her millinery amongst the Wesleyan community .

But at any rate sh e k indly put her profess i onal

experience at the service o f the L adies S ewing ’

Meetings where her c o operation w a s most h i ghly

,
-

appreciated .

It w a s custom ar y for the m i n i ster and some of

the older gentlemen to look i n at the S ew i ng Meet i ng s
 v
L I FE 2 77

at a bout fi e o clock a n d have tea w i th t h e w ork ers

’
,

g
thu s caus i ng a l i ttle pleasant diversion and turn ,

in the a ffa i r into a sort o f minor social fu nct i on .

Amongst the more as s iduous frequenters o f the teas

w a s Mr E dwards as w a s only natural consider i ng
.
, ,

that he was a retired man and had nothing to do

with his afternoon s H i s presence was very welcome
.

until i t was ob served that he made a point o f s itting

at the long tea tab le b eside Madame H ammerton
-
,

and nowhere else At this discovery made b y some

.
,

o f the a cuter spiri t s all previous doub ts and s u s

,

p io n s concerning Madame H ammerton in stantly

i c

revived and rai s ed their heads S cand al was rife .

in the S ewing Mee t ings It w a s t rue that Mr . .

E dwards a s crub b y little man with a chin b eard

,
-
,

was a w i dower and there was no reason to doub t

,

tha t h i s i ntentions towa rd s Madame H ammerton

w ere honourable ; b u t there was a way o f putting
th i n g s at the S ewing Meetings o f putting them in ,

co n fidence with the mo st innocent air which would ,

have made o n e doub t the chastity o f the snow

capped peak o f E vere st In vain did Madame .

H ammerton protest to Mrs Bladon Green in c o n .

,

ference over a n e w hat that Mr E dwards had pro

, .

po sed to her three t i mes and that sh e could never

,

th i nk o f accepting a scrub by little fellow like that ,

and that sh e had begged him not to pester her at

the S ew ing Meetings It was generall y felt th at
. ,

if sh e w i shed Madame H ammerton could find a

,

means o f disposing o f Mr E dwards a n d that i n . ,

tru th sh e w a s rather flattered by his attentions and ,

w a s proud o f parading them before her fellow

w orsh ipper s .It w a s felt that the S ew ing Meeti n g
2 78 L I FE

w as no pl a c e for a rel i g i ou s w om a n t o choo se to c a rry

o n a fl i rtat i on even a perfectly i nnocent o n e It
,
.

was repre s ented to Mr S imon that i t w a s h i s duty .

to speak t o t h e a ctors i n th i s d i s cred i table drama ,

and Mr S imon after a good deal o f cons iderat i on

.
, ,

did so and i n consequence nearly lo s t two o f h i s

,

flock Madame H ammerton actually gave up t h e

.

S ewing Meetings ( where her profe s sional experience

was so valuable ) and was only prevented from leaving ,

the chapel said her detractors because o f the custom

, ,

she obtained from its memb ers E ven Mrs Bladon . .

Green a comparatively wealthy woman who bought

, ,

most o f her clothes at B at t e rfi e ld s Mendel and ’

,

K i ln e r s and the big shops in the centre o f the city

’
, ,

Often u s ed to purchase hats from Madame H ammer

ton both because sh e was a We sleyan and becau se
,

sh e had a w a y of adapting rather flor i d m i ll in e ry

to suit Mrs Bladon Green s mature and ma s siv e

.
’

proport i ons It w a s said o f some o f her effect s that

.

they were qu ite P arisian .

Mr E dw ard s took h i s pa stor s reproof very ph i lo

.
’

soph i cally o n the whole after h i s first moment o f ,

i rr i tation a n d cont i nued to si t i n a pe w w hence h e

,

Ob tained an excellent V i ew o f Madame H ammerto n

to wait out s ide the porch after s erv i ce and walk hom e
w ith her i f sh e would perm it h i m A s a matter o f .

fact Mr E dward s and Madame H ammerto n were

.

an excellent and hone st couple and Mr Si mon soon , .

regretted that he had ever mixed himself up in the

affair and ever after had at the b ottom o f his heart
,

a distru st and misliking for the S ewing Meeting and

fo r the opportun i ty it afforded for the clack i ng o f
i dle tongue s .
2 80 L I FE

nature and dur i ng them they di s cu s sed mo stly

,

local c hapel polit i c s natural history the character s

, ,

o f fr i ends and relations T h e most i nt i mate top i c

.

touched upon w i th any frequency w a s the repa i nting

and furnishing o f the min i ster s house to which ’
,

H a rold was hoping to induce the S teward s to consent ,

in honour o f this un i que occasion H e would Often .

speak too o f his s i ster A gatha and tell Maggie h o w

, , ,

good sh e had been to him and h o w kind they must ,

b e to her in order t o prevent her from feeling the

b low o f separation from him t o o keenly Maggie .

b ecame almost j ealous retro spectively o f A gatha

, , ,

and sh e a sked herself whether sh e could ever hope

to make H arold as happy as his s i ster had done In .

that ca s e what was th e good o f H arold s marry i ng

,
’

her o r o f H arold s marrying anybody fo r th at

,
’
,

matter ! What was it that H arold wanted from

her that h e could not find i n h i s s i ster ! S he would
have understood if h e had betrayed s ometh i ng
stronger than mere a ffection deep a s that appeared ,

to be If he had forgotten h i mself so far a s to k i ss

.

her roughly ; o r to let h i s hand s l i de round her

s houlder and draw her to him a s if h e could not

help it w i thout any regard for t h e consequence s to

,

her hair o r her frock If he had somet im es ignored

.

the hab it s o f the k ingfisher as they walked by the ,

b an k s o f the S eymer and had s a i d i nstead s i lly

, ,

foolish things that m i ght have b een sweet to them

alone i f the ver i e s t nonsen s e to a n o u t s i der As
, .

i t w a s there was noth i ng i n h i s conversat i on that

a th i rd party might not have l i stened to w i th perfec t
propriety o r that would have made Maggie feel u n
,

comfortab le i f a third party had been l i sten i ng to it .

 L I FE 2 81

Invar i ab ly whe n he qu itted her H arold w ould

, ,

k i ss her tenderly and respectfully n o t quite upon ,

her lips but a little to o n e side and would s ay

Good —
, , ,

bye Maggie dear G o d bless y o u

, And
. .
’

Magg i e would perceive that sh e had parted from a

good man Wh i ch indeed w a s the case
. .

T h e truth w a s H arold S imon w a s n o t s o lacking

in the common i nst i ncts o f men a s he appeared to
be and there were times when looking sideways
, ,

’
at Maggie s clear profile with the hair springing ,

provokingly away from the temples he had a V iolent ,

desire to seize her and ravish those firm red lips ,

w i th his o w n in stead o f dusting them delicately

,

w i th the ends o f his dark moustache But he .

mastered this inst i nct because he felt it w a s a desire ,

and that as a ru le des i res were th i ngs to b e fought

aga i n s t and conquered S o strongly did he feel
.

this th at he erred o n the wrong s i de as it were and , ,

created an effect o f coldness that he was far from

feel i ng o r from w i sh i ng to create either C ertainly , .

he d i d n o t observe a lack o f warmth i n Maggie s ’

att itud e towards himself It is not certa i n that he

.

would h ave b een glad i f sh e had s o far forgotten

herself as to b ehave demonstratively to him o r to ,

try a n d exc i te h i m to b ehave s o t o her H e would .

certa in ly have felt that such action w as not ma i denly ,

and i f he had y i elded would have a fte rw ard s regretted

i t very much indeed .

A s impl e m an he behaved simply accord ing to

,

h i s light s and he was quite sati sfied with the half o f

,

Maggie that he s aw It w a s n o t evident to him

.

that he w a s only s ee i ng o n e half o f her he had no ,

s usp i c i o n of that fact E nt i rely innocent o f women

. ,
2 82 L I FE

he h ad no exper i ence t o gu i de him H e w as l ik e a

.

s a i lor afloat on a s trange se a w i tho u t comp ass and

, ,

w itho u t k n owledge o f the star s t o s tand in it s ste a d .

A ll h e o b s erved w a s the s olemn be auty o f the stars .

Maggie o n the other hand w a s well aware that sh e

, ,

w as only showing him o n e half o f herself . S h e w as

perhaps not aware that sh e w a s doing s o delib erately ,

that b y suppre s s ing part of herself sh e w a s acting a

lie to h i m ; if she had been a w a re o f i t sh e might
have excused h erself by s aying that sh e w as wa iting
for an opportunity to let him s e e more o f her a n ,

opportunity wh i ch he had no inten t i on o f g iv i ng her ,

apparently .

H e w a s content to t ake her as sh e w a s or rath e r

,

as he thought she w a s .
2 84 L I FE

My God but it s h o t ! said George ferve ntl y

,
’ ’
,

mopping his face with the napk i n upon the conclusion

o f the sportive b out .

T hank yo u Mester F ergusson ; that there nap

,

’
kin s for wiping the glasses remarked Green
’
, .

Bobb y drained his gin and ginger I should like .

to go up the r i ver o n e of these days he sa i d ,

’
.

C ome up o n S unday .
’

S unday C an t b e done ’
.
’

O f course I forgot S unday s a solemn da y

, .
’

with you people I m going .

’
.
’

T ak i ng a girl
N o I m go i ng with L avigne I dare s ay we 11
’
.
’

run acros s s ome girls there C ouldn t you m anage ’

v
.

i t for once w i thout them k no w ing at home

,

Impo ss ib le my dear chap Why I e got to be

, .
,
’

at c hapel .
’

’
God help yo u .

I w i sh I lived i n d i g s like yo u George , .

’

Well it s not all beer and sk i ttles l i v i ng in

,
’

digs But i t doe s g ive a young fellow freedom ,

and teaches him s omething about life I Ve been .

’

i n digs ever s i nce I w a s eighteen .

’

A ll the time
George he s itated a s econd Ye s pra ctically all .
,

the time .
’

I w i sh you d come up the river some S aturday

’
.
’

S aturday ! It s only half a day D oesn t give ’

.
’

you too much time .

’

Well August Bank H oliday then

, .
’

’
T here s an awful crowd o n Bank H oliday S till .
,

if o n e engages a b oat beforehand and gets right away ,

e a rly i t i sn t so bad
,
’
.
’
 L I FE 2 85

’
T he river to people in S a lch e st e r i s always the
, ,

r iver at C he ster t h e D ee O ne gets a goo d t rain

, .

that does the j ourney in ab out an hour ( o r b etter

g
still o n e runs over in a car ) and o n e takes well fille d
,
-

luncheon b asket and fl an n e ls in a tennis b a

- -
.

Geo rge had never until then accepted Mr H e y .

wood s invitation to V isit the house b u t that evening

’
,

feeling pretty happy and comfo rtab le after t h e four

b ottles of Worthington he w a s persuaded b y Bob b y
,

to b rave the rigours o f the N onconformist interior .

In the garden the tent was illuminated b y a Chinese

lantern deck chairs were strewn a round and o n the
,
-
,

din ing room tab le a light supper o f b read and cheese

-
,

cake and stewed fru i t with lemonade was go i ng

, , .

H e was i ntroduced to the R ev H arold S imon . .

George was a man who always wanted to mak e

himself liked If he was not liked he drooped as
.

a sunflower droops for the su n In the warmth .

o f popular favour he positively shone his glas ses ,

glittered and his b eady eyes gleamed with pleasure

, ,

and he b asked pleasantly in armchairs exhaling an

g
atmosphere o f b onhomie But neglected he was .

miserab le ; he was like a d o j ealous o f the arrival

o f a n e w b ab y he hung round pathet i cally thirsting
for a sign o f recognition And to make sure th a t
.

people should like him and make much o f him he

t ook a goo d deal of t rou b le to impress them i n his
favour H e was not merely polite to young gi rls
.

b ecause he was fond of them he was polite to their ,

mothers their fathers their b rothers in order to

, , ,

become popular in a house and to get asked there ,

often i f he found h i mself comfortable H e rarely .

dined at home o n S u ndays A solitary b achelor .

2 86 L IFE

dinner i n lodg i ngs w a s not to h i s taste and he gener ,

ally found means to obta i n an inv itation to some

hospitable tab le o r other H e had liked Maggie .

when first he met her b u t then he had hea r d almo st

,

at once that sh e had b ecome engaged ; and since

sh e who might have b een expected to a f ford him
some amusement o f the k i nd that he pr i ncipally
a ffected w a s thu s suddenly removed out o f reach
o f his attent i ons he had n o t troubled t o explore an
,

inter i or of a kind not exactly congenial to him H e .

was far from b eing a P ur itan and N onconformists ,

were to him a standing j est H e l ik ed Bob b y b u t .

,

Bob by was a N onconformist b ecause he couldn t ’

help it ; he was a Nonconformist who w a s forced

to conform to N onconformity by a tyranny as r i gid
as that o f the Inqu i sit i on Bes i des Bobb y i n the
.
, ,

free atmosphere away from home j e sted ab out them ,

with gusto not to say with obscenity

, .

H owever b eing led by acc i dent i nto the H eywood s

’
,

house and fi nding i t at any rate more comfortable

,

and less aggress ively N onconform i st than he had

expected George laid ab out him w ith a will to s o w
,

the seeds o f friendl i ness H e was fr i endly w i th

.

everyb ody H e w a s fr i endly with the R ev H arold

. .

S imon who found him an intelligent fellow and

, ,

one reasonab ly interested for an outsider in the

, ,

movements o f the Wesleyan Body It is true that .

o n the morrow George recounted some o f Mr S imon s

’
.

conversation w i th a very fa i r imitation of Mr

, .

S imon s earne st manner to the accompaniment of

’
,

yells o f laughter to some cho i ce sp i r its in the Kimono

C afé during the after luncheon coffe e and s moke
-
.

But at the t i me he w a s very c a reful n o t to let Mr .

2 88 L IFE

and I shall respect her just as I should expect yo u

to respect her if she were m i ne I shall try and be .

polit e to her s i nce sh e i s the daughter o f my host

, ,

b u t noth i ng more H ere aga i n he was wa sting pa i n s

and sub tlety for nothing w a s farther from Mr
, .

Si mon s thought s th an j ealousy of George F ergu sson

’
.

H e had never been accustomed to loo k upon the

world a s a complicated tangle o f men and women
in a state o f constantly chang i ng relationships
everybody e i ther gett i ng fonder o f s omebody else ,

o r gett i ng t i red o f s omeb ody else o r po i sed for a ,

moment ( which might la st a week or a few years )

i n a passive cond i t i on o f n o t lik i ng o r disliking .

A nd i t never occurred to h i m that Magg i e being ,

engaged to him could at the same t i me fall i n lov e

,

with anybody else any more tha n i t occurred to ,

h i m th at a newly inocul ated person could catch the

smallpox .

S aid Bobby help i ng h i m s elf to more stewed pl u ms

, ,

We re going up the r iver o n Bank H olid a y George

’
,

and I .
’

I d love to go up the r iver s a i d Magg i e

’
,
’
.

Why don t you get Mr Si mon to br i ng yo u along

’
.

as well M i ss H eywood !
, sa i d George Bo b b y ’
.

looked blank but rev ived when Mr Si mon sa i d

, .

k i ndly
T here i s noth i ng that I sh ould l ik e better I .

used to b e very fond of rowing when I w a s at college

at Ri chmond But I m afraid I can t come o n
.
’ ’

Bank H oliday I m not free .

’
.
’

No w H arold yo u re never go in g to w ork o n

’
, ,

Ban k H ol iday ! sa i d Mr H eyw ood ’

. .

I have a wedding .
’
 L IFE 2 89

Who is it
Mrs H ammerton . Mr E dward s an d . .
’

T here w a s a m i ld s en s at i on My hat cr i ed .

’
Bobby you don t mean to s ay that s coming o ff
,
’

a t last What will they talk about at the S ewing

.

Meet i ng s next w i nter

N o b ody took any notice of Bo b b y .

T hey are very anxious that I shall marry them ,

in order to show that there is no ill feeling about -

what took pla ce some time ago so I cannot refuse , .

’

Bother ! s a i d Maggie petulantly there alway s ,

seem s to be s ome one to b e marr i ed o r bur i ed whenever

we want to d o anyth in g .
’

H e r eyebrows thickened and a cloud s eemed to ,

hang above them threateningly .

It s extraord inary h o w incon siderate some people

’

are sa i d George humoro u sly

,
’
T hey never can .

choose the right time to d i e .

’

H i s exqu i site tact saved the s i tuat i on and every ,

body sm i led .

’
But there s no rea son why that should stop yo u ,

Maggie Yo u can go with Bo b b y and Mr F ergusson

. .
,

and you m i ght get another girl to make up the fourth .

’

V iolet B rady said Bob b y

’
Bobby w a s rather
, .

fo n d o f V i olet Bra dy and Magg i e look ed full at h im

,

w i th humorously compres s ed mouth to show that

sh e k n ew why he had s o suddenly brightened u p .

H e d id n t m in d Magg i e never gave him away

’
.

I do hope you ll be careful said Mrs H eywood ’

,
’
.
,

nervously feeling for stray w i sp s o f ha i r and for a ,

wonder finding none s ince sh e had just prev i ou s ly ,

been over t h e ground rather thoroughly I alw a ys .

th in k th at bo at s a re su ch d angerou s th i ng s .
’

VOL . III .
29 0 LI FE
T he y a re i f you fall out o f th e m mo th e r d e a r , ,
’

s a id Bobby in h i s mo st s uper i or tone S o a re .

w i ndow s for that m atter

, .
’

But we aren t go i ng to fall o u t mother repl i ed

’
, ,
’

Magg i e ch i llingly S o i t w a s com i ng to th i s n o w

.
,

that at her age sh e was to b e hum i l i ated before a

man o f the world like Mr F ergu ss on ; talk ed to a s .

i f sh e was still a ch i ld But George didn t s eem t o ’

y ab surdity i n Mrs H eywood s remark

’
s e e an H e . .

po i nted o u t soberly th at the D e e bo a t s were very

s afe th at the r i ver w a s not so very w i de that h e w a s
, ,

an e xper i enced hand at nav i gat i on and that finally ,

he could s wim half a m i le i f necessary .

But Maggie can t sw i m obj ected Mrs H eywood ’

,
’
. .

Whose fault i s that ! retorted Magg i e w h o ’

,

had often w i shed to lea rn but h ad never been ,

perm i tted .

N ever m i nd Bobby and I c an fi sh h e r o u t

. .

’
But there won t be any n ece ss ity for th at .
’

Yo u never know It doesn t do t o be too certa in

.
’
,

doe s i t H arold
,

We a re n ever certa in o f a n yth i ng in th i s world ,

’

s a i d the R ev H a rold Si mon

v
. .

O r i n the ne x t o n e e i ther a dded George i n a d

’
,

e rt e n t ly w i th t h e s en se that he had sa i d ra ther

,

a ne a t th i ng .

Mr S imon h o w ever w as n o t thu s t o b e c app e d i n

.
, ,

aphor i sms e spec i ally aphor i sm s deal i ng w i th the

,

su bj e ct w i th wh i ch he w a s profe s s i on a lly connected .

H e sa i d gravely We a re only cert a i n o f t h e e ver

,

last in g goodne ss a n d mercy o f G o d O f th a t w e a re .

alwa ys c erta in .
’

T h u s furth e r sp e cu la t i o n in th at d i rect i o n w a s
2 92 LIFE

T h is part i cular mo n ey w as got i n a w ay o f wh i ch

’
we ca n not approve .

George w a s extraord i nar i ly cur i ou s but he could ,

n ot decently que st i on Mr H eyw ood further H e . .

m ade s everal gue s se s dur i ng the night at the possible

s ource o f the hundred pound s an d w i ld thou gh ,

some o f them were he w a s never within a thou sa nd

,

miles of the truth T h e truth i n fact was so i n c re d

.
, ,

ible that he might well be excused for not approach i ng

it T h e fact w a s the money had b een left to Maggie
.

b y a gre at great au n t o n Mrs H eywood s s i de a

’
- -
.
,

Mrs S urrey who had amassed a comfortable i ncome

.
,

in the olde st and least honourable of the professions .

Mrs S urrey had been in the hey day o f her youth

. ,
-
,

a woma n of considerable personal charm an d beauty ,

and sh e well sh e had made the most o f these

,

attractions S he had laid them o u t to the be s t

.

advantage And when sh e had found the s e attrae

.

t i on s grow i ng feebler sh e had w i s el y ret i red fro m

,

that bra nch o f the profess i on and h ad devoted her ,

self to the other and even more profitable branch .

S he had pres i ded over the rites instead o f part i ci

pat i ng i n them S he w as well l iked b y both her
.

cl i ent s an d her sta ff It w a s said of her that sh e w a s

.

always decent to her g i rl s .

A t the same t i me Mrs S urrey had a lways regarded

.

her self as a re sp ectable woman S he had done .

the s e things i n the w ay o f bu s i ne ss w i thout ever ,

pretend in g to e nj oy them more th a n w a s nece ssary

for the proper carrying o n of the bu s in e ss and it ,

w a s w i th s omething o f relief that sh e saw her s elf

at l a st in a po s it i o n to ret i r e o n her profit s a nd enj o y
her well earned repo se S he s elected fo r her au t u mn
-
.
 L I FE 2 93

days a qu i et cathedra l town a s so many veteran s ,

a re apt to do and here sh e devoted herself t o religion

,

a n d good work s Nobody except a fe w relations

.
, ,

had any i dea what her past had b een and thos e ,

relat i on s might be tru sted to k eep quiet b ecause they ,

w ere very respectable people and would wish to keep ,

qu i et for the i r o w n sake s even i f they had no thought

,

o f the money which Mrs S urrey would o n e day leave

.

beh i nd her A t first none o f them cared to have

.

any communication w ith her but a s t im e went o n ,

( and Mrs S urrey l i ved long and became a very o ld

.

woman ) re s i dence in the cathedral town s eemed to

purge her and fir st o n e and then another o f the
,

fam i ly got i nto touch with her and adopted some

sort o f formal relations It cannot be said that the
.

H eyw oods for instance did anything more than

, ,

j ust acknowledge her existence but this much they ,

did do principally because they felt that her

,

new life showed that sh e repented her former o n e

a n d also they remembered an admonition o f their

S av i our s ( and hers ) which gave them some coun

’
,

t e n a n c e in their tolerance .

O nce even Mrs S urrey passing through S alch e st e r

.
,

o n her way from the cathedral city to the s alub rious

i

L a n ca shire watering place o f Blackpool w h i ch sh e

-
,

had not v i sited since her br ighter badder days ,

actually called to s e e her gre at niece Mrs H eywood -

, . .

Magg i e could j ust recall her a gaunt wizened crea ,

tu re all that once s o palpitating flesh shrunk away

,

to n oth in g S he wore widow s weeds S he had

.
’
.

never b een m a rried H e r mourning w a s not for

.

o n e husba nd b u t for many for all the hu sba n d s

, ,

sh e h ad ever had S he took hold of Maggie then a

. ,
2 94 L I FE

t i n y g i rl o f ten an d held h e r at arm s length and

,
’

st ared at her S o you re Magg i e eh — Maggie

.
’
, .

D id yo u k no w my name w a s M ggie
a t o o 9
,

Mrs H eywood s aid sh e d i d

. .

’
I suppo s e you didn t n ame her after me eh ,

T hey had n o t done s o .

Wh en sh e w ent away Mrs S urrey ga ve Maggie .

half a crown wh i ch Mrs H eywood a fterwards took

v
.
,

away from her and put i nto the plate at the Anni
e rsa ry w ith the approval o f her husband T hey
, .

did not expect Mrs S urrey to l ive much longer

.
,

but sh e actually s urvived for another do z en years

o r so , though they never saw her aga i n An d when .

she died i t w a s found that sh e had not forgotten

that fly i ng V i sit a n d h ad left o n e hundred pounds
,

to her great gre at n i ece becau s e sh e w a s c a lled

-
,

Magg i e .

T h i s the n w a s the hundred po u n d s a bout w h i ch

there w as n o w qu e st i o n It w a s e a sy t o put Mrs . .

S urrey s half cro w n into the Annivers a ry plate but

’
-
,

when it cam e to a hundred pounds it w a s another

m atter Magg i e too w a s no longer a little g i rl to
.

whom o n e m i ght decl i n e ex plan ation s about half

c rown s sh e w a s a woman o f twenty three
, and i t -
,

h ad to be made clear to her why ther e w a s s om e

doubt whether a pur e girl could fi t ly accept Mrs .

S u rrey s money O f cour se the truth wasn t told

’
.
’

her plu mp S he w a s only twenty th ree a n d u n

.
-
,

marr i ed Mrs H eyw ood sa id

. . Your great au nt ,
-

S u rre y w a s n o t a good woman .

’

H o w do yo u me an m other ,

We ll sh e w a s a bad wom an
, Mrs H eyw ood .
’
.
,

fl u rri e d d id not loo k at her daughter but pu shed

, ,
2 96 L I FE

CH APT ER VI

AT the M i dl and S tation there w a s a l arge c ro w d

wa it i ng even for the early tra i n but George a n d
, ,

Bobb y m an aged to s ecu re a fi rst cla s s carr iage -

,

w h i ch they occup i ed successfully to the exclu s ion

o f outs i der s , w i th the ass i stance o f the i r acqua in t
a n e c s the t w o K e n n io n boys A rthur and R egg i e
, ,

the i r s i ster Grac e K e n n i o n and h e r young man

,

C l i fford R aw son who w ere al s o wait in g o n the plat

,

form T hey too were bound for t h e r i ver and

. , , ,

for a moment there w a s s ome i de a o f their j o in in g

force s a n d mak in g up a b i g party Bobby how ever .
, ,

w as j e a lou s o f R egg i e whom h e s u spected o f cast i ng

,

favourable eye s upon V i olet Brady ; and s i nce Bobby

w a s s tand in g V i olet the treat h e d i d not s e e the fu n
o f ha n din g her over for part o f the t i me to a r i val ,

so he determ in ed to man oeuvre the t w o group s into

s eparate part i e s espec i ally when i t was found that

,

t h e K e nn i o n s had not taken the precaut i on to reserve

a bo a t . It w a s suggested however that they m ight
, ,

ru n acro s s each other up the r i ver and a meetin g ,

w a s prov i s ionally arranged for tea at E ccleston

F erry o n the i r way down for Magg i e had suggested
,

that they should only bring lunch w i th them s in c e ,

i f they brought tea a s w ell i t meant that mo s t o f

the d ay w a s s pent i n prepar in g food .

At the bo athou s e t h e boys w e nt u p i nto the dre ss i n g

 L I FE 2 97

r oom to change wh il st the g i rl s sat o n a bench and

,

watched the pleasure seekers embark -

.

V iolet B rady was a bold black ha i red damsel well -

,

developed and of free manners , S he w a s w hat .

Bobby called a b it o f a ll right and he anticipated ,

’

a good time T h e K e n n io n s had luck and were soon

.
,

of f i n a b i g boat w i th t w o pa i rs of oars Grace and ,

C l i fford nestl i ng o n the cush i on s at the ste m and ,

R eggie an d A rthur row i ng T hey waved a s they .

passed the girl s and V iolet shamelessly k issed her ,

hand to R eggie T hen George and Bobby came down .

,

i mmaculate in clean tenn i s fl an n e ls .

N o w then s aid George

’ ’
, who s goin g to take
, ,

the luncheon bask et -

Why Won t it go in the b oat sa i d Maggie

’
.

Yes but Bob b y s gone and engaged t w o small

,
’

boats .
’

O h Bobby ! Wh at did yo u do that for ! It s

,
’

much n i cer to go all together .

’

Well o f course that s a matter o f op i nio n

, ,
’
,
’

repl i ed the w i ly Bob by .

C ome along Miss H eyw ood sa i d George cheer ily

, ,
’
,

‘
i t can t be helped You 11 have to put up w ith
’
.
’

me Yo u don t mind
.
’

N ot i f you don t ’
.
’

I don t H i s little eye s shone brightly as he

’
.
’

thought how delightful it would be o n t h e river

w i th th i s nice girl and h o w agreeable he w ould ,

make h i mself P erhaps i t wa sn t altogether Bobb y

.
’

who w as responsible for the suggest i on that they

should tak e t w o s mall boats in stead of one large

We 11 tak e the b a sk et I don t th i nk it w i ll

’ ’
one . .

be safe w i th Bobb y .
’
2 98 L I FE

George h an dled a boat w i th more sk ill if le ss v igou r

tha n Bobby a n d Magg i e w as co n s c i ou s o f a feel i ng
,

of ple a sure that sh e w a s in th i s p a rt i cular boat a s i t

disentangled itself neatly from t h e m a ss ed n avie s
that clu stered rou nd t h e stage s i n s trong contra st ,

to Bobby s craft wh i ch w as tempora ril y a centre o f

’
,

lur i d storm Magg i e w a s a lmo st sure b u t n o t qu i t e

.
, ,

that sh e he a rd Bobby swear a t an othe r n av i gator .

H o w ever once free he darted a way at a surp ri sin g

, ,

rate le av in g Magg i e and George to follow more

,

le i surely .

H e 11 s oon get tired of that sa i d George glanc in g

’ ’
, ,

over h i s shou lder without stopp in g h i s even s trok e .

T hey pa ss ed along the wide s w ee p O f the D ee ju s t

W
above the town where the big ho u s es look o u t a cross
,

the s tream to the lo w r i ch pastures o n the other s ide ,

and gradually approached the more th i ck ly wooded

bank s where there were no sign s o f hab itat i on s .

But there were ple n t y o f people t h e r i ver w a s ,

cro w ded a nd the l ittl e loaded steamers an d the

,

motor launche s and t h e busy police p atrol boat k ept

-

up a constant bu s tle and ex c i tement in the fa i rwa y .

e w a n t to get r i ght up a w a y o u t o f all th i s sa i d

’
, ,

George .

S oon they pas s ed Bobb y and V i olet though they ,

nearly m i s sed s eein g the boat wh i ch w as draw n up ,

a ga in st t h e b a nk under a lo w overhang in g tree .

Bobby w a s almost in v i s ible l yi ng o n h i s back o n t h e

,

bottom o ft h e bo at ; a p in k s ock and a w hiffo fc i ga rett e

smok e alon e betra yed h i s po s i t i on T h ere s e emed .

to be also a w h iff o f s mok e com i ng from t h e c u shion s

where V i olet w a s e nsco n ced b u t Ma gg i e w as n o t ,

qu it e sure S he h ad n ever s ee n Vi olet smok e

. .
 3 00 L IFE

father alwa ys goe s i n Wh i t Week We shall only -

.

s tay a fortnight D o you know C r i cc i eth

.

L loyd George s place isn t it ! i nqu i red he in

’ ’ ’
-
,

that facet i ou s tone usually adopted by men o f t h e

world w hen speak i ng o f the pol it i cian who w as
then C ha ncellor o f the E xchequer .

Ye s H e h a s a house o n a h i ll j u s t out s i de
. .

It s a del i ghtfu l l i ttle town

’
.
’

I m sure it i s I wish I were go i ng there

’
. .
’

It w a s evident fro m h i s tone that he wi shed he

w a s go i ng not becau se i t w a s a delightfu l little town
, ,

no r becaus e Mr L loyd Georg e lived there but

.
-
,

becau s e Maggie H eywood w a s go i ng to be there

for a fortnight A t fir s t sh e had an i dea that sh e
.

wanted to blu sh a l i ttle and then qu i t e surpri s ingly

,

’
sh e sa id Well why don t you
, ,

H i s ton e a s sumed a n i nfin i te regret I w i sh I .

’
cou ld But I Ve made other arrangemen t s
. .
’

O ther arrangements It w a s i mmen se H e ma d e .

arrangements for h i s holiday s H e d i dn t w r ite a n d .

’

engage a room he made arrangement s Important

, .

i nterest s s eemed to b e involved in h i s temporary

w i thdra w al from the bank i n Morley S treet S he

W
.

wanted very much to k now w h a t the arrangements

were and ask ed h i m
, .

I m going abroad
’
.
’

Abroad ! H e w a s actually going abroad ! An d

he s aid i t w i th such an a i r o f ind i fference as i f it was ,

nothing to go abroad for h i s summer h olida ys A s .

if he w a s u s ed to i t P erhap s he w a s .

D o you Often go abroad sh e a sk ed t i m i dly .

h enever I c an I w e n t to N or w ay la st year
. .

And the ye a r before that to N orman dy T h i s yea r .

 L I FE 3 01

I m going to An tw erp an d Bru s sel s I prefer to go

’
.

to a F rench speak ing cou n try bec au se I under stand

-
,

the language .
’

Yo u s pea k F ren ch well

E nough to get o n w i th the wa i ters an d that sort
o f th i ng
’
It w a s quite certain from the studied
.
,

d iffi d e n ce O f h i s tone that he s poke i t very w ell ,

indeed even well enough to under stand w hat people

,

were s ay i ng i n railway carr iages and at the theatres

It w a s obv i ou s th a t he was making a pol i te u n der
s t atement o f h i s abilitie s in order to keep her at her

e a s e an d prevent her feel in g sh y i n the pre s ence o f

,

so much accompl i shme n t .

I wish I could spe ak F rench I c an read i t a

v
.

little b i t It was true sh e had at home a couple of

’

e C
.

s u rv i vals from s chool L r i me de S yl es tre B onn ard

, ,

a n d ! u a n d j é ta i s et i t and a copy o f E ug en i e G r an de t
’

p ,

that s ome girl had lent her and that sh e had for ,

gotten to return S ometime s sh e O pened the s e and

.

read a fe w pages w i th difficulty for sh e w a s genu i nely ,

keen o n k now i ng another language T hen sh e found .

the task st iff and s ince the plot s were not sufficiently
,

excit i ng to cau s e her to wi sh to pers evere sh e would

lay the book s a side for month s .

R ead i t O f course it s awfully easy to read ’

F rench V ery d i fferent matter from speaking it

.
.
’

’
I suppo s e s o sh e smiled apologetically
,
.

I can read i t as easily as I can read E ngl i sh .

’

C an you reall y ,

Yo u ought to t ake a tr ip o n t h e C ont i nent som e

’
day .

’
I wish I could .

T here was silence for a wh i le and George steadily ,

3 02 L I FE

urged the light s ki ff aga i n st the curre n t s o ea si ly ,

and naturally a s aga in to compel her a dm i rat i on .

H e look ed sturdy and well in h i s fl a nn e ls S he .

wondered whether H arold would have thought o f

b r i ng i ng fl an n e ls for a day o n t h e r i ver o r whether ,

h e would not have thought i t e n o u gh to tak e o ff h i s

coat and ro w i n h i s shirt s leeve s S he let her hand .

droop over the s i de i nto the water and watched h i m .

E very n o w and then h e pau sed to w i p e away the

persp i ration wh i ch gathered i n bead s o n h i s forehead
and ran down i nto h i s eye s dimm in g the s urface o f ,

h i s glas s es .

H o t work he sm i led
’
I sho u ld l ik e a plunge ’

v
.
, .

’
Why don t y o u have o n e
’
I dare say I shall higher up after lunch I e , , .

’
brought a costume .

g
Wonderfu l m an H e knew the w orld and h o w to
o about i t H e w a s ready for any emergency
. H e .

w a s c i vil i sed pol i shed urba n e , S h e s a i d suddenly , .

D o you k n ow what I wa n t mo s t of all

No
’
.

T o seel i fe .
’

H e considered her What do you mean e x actly .

he ask ed caut i ously .

L ife I can t expla i n

.
’
.
’

L ife w i th a cap i tal L

Ye s I think so All so rt s o f l i fe I only .
y
.

s e e such a l i ttle narrow s i de o f i t now

’
.

You r e not very o ld yet y o u know

’
, .
’

But I m go i ng to be marr i ed
’
.
’
 L I FE

the chapel l i fe vigorou s ly Aga i n i t pall s H arold

. .

i s d u ller than ever T h e exc i teme n t o f her renewed

.

rel ig i ou s fervo u r abate s S he hears that Georg e i s

.

to leave S alch e st e r and impulsively goe s to h i s

,

lodging s H e is pack ing up S he proposes to him

. . .

H e i s leav i ng for P ar i s o n the morrow wh i ch i s also ,

the eve o f her wedd ing to H a rold George suggest s .

P a r i s under promi s e o f marriage Maggie gets the

.

hu ndred pound s o f her legacy and next day goe s w ith

,

George to P aris T h e night at P ar i s

. T w o heads o n .

the pillow next morn in g ’

George h a s a wife alre ady
. .

Magg i e i s in blank de spa i r but cont i nue s to live

w i th h i m . S he wr ites home sh e i s marri ed and ,

Mr H eywood an n ou n ce s the marr i age In the

.

S alch es t er G u ard i an T h e real w i fe call s o n t h e

.

H eywood s Mr H e ywood goe s to P ari s Magg i e

. . .

dec i de s to stay ther e w ith George who i s speedily ,

fa i thles s
.

T h e actual end i s n o t clear from the note s T her e .

i s a note , Magg i e goe s o n the streets and a further ,

’

one , Magg i e s rel ig i ous feel ing s grow s trong

’
b ut
at what point and in what condition i t w a s inten ded
fi n ally to leave her i s not n o w po ss i ble to dec i de .
3 08 CAS T S OF T H E PL AY S

T H E MAS T E R OF T H E H OUSE
P roduced at the Gaiety T heatre , Manche ster on ,

2 6t h S eptember
by M i s s1 9 1 0, H o rn i m a n s C ompany
’
,

with the following cast

v

W
Mr O en s H E RBE RT Lo MAs

v
.

E di e IS AB E L R OLAN D
M rs O
Fre d O
.

v
M r S kri mshi re
.
en s

en s
M URI EL PRATT
M ILT O N R O S M E R
F RAN KDAR C H
D r J e lli coe
. ED ARD LA N D O R

W
T H E Y O UN GE R G E NE RAT I ON
P roduced a t the Ga i ety T heatre Manche ster o n , ,

2 1 st November 1 9 1 0 by Mis s H o rn i m a n s C omp an y

’
, ,

w i th the follow i ng cast

J a m es H en ry R eu n i on S TAN LE Y D RE IT T
M rs K e n n i on AD A K ING

W
.

M aggi e H ILDA DAVI E S

Reggi e K en n i on J VE RN O N B RYAN T
.

G ra ce K en n i on M URIE L PRA TT
T h omas K enn i on C HAR LE S B I B BY
M r Lea db i tt er
. CE CIL B RO O K ING
M r Fow le
. ED AR D LAND O R
Arth u r K en n i on M I LT O N R O S ME R
M rs H an n a h K enn i on A NN I E M OLLE R
C
.

Ra w s on DAR C
f
lifi ord F RAN K H
 CAS T S OF T H E PL AY S 3 09

FANC Y FREE
P roduced at the Ga i ety T heatre
Manchester o n , ,

6t h N ovemb er 1 9 1 1 by Mr B Iden P ayne s C om

’
, .

pany W ith the follow ing cast

,

F a n cy C ARRI E H AA S E
Alfred E S M E PE RCY
E t h e lb er t B I D E N PAY NE
.

D eli a M O NA LI M E RI C
K

H I ND LE WA KE S
P roduced at the Ald w ych T heatre L ondon o n , ,

1 6 th Ju n e 1 9 1 2 b y Mis s H o rn im an s C ompa n y
’
, ,

before the Incorporated S tage S ociety w i th the ,

follow in g ca st
M rs H aw t h orn AD A K I N G

W
C
.

h r i s t op h er H a w th orn C HAR LE S B I BB Y
Fann y H a wt h orn E D Y TH G O O D ALL
M rs J efi c ote
. DAI S Y E N GLA N D
N ath an i e l J ejfcot e H E RB E R T Lo M As

Alan J efi c ote ’
J V B RYAN T . .

S i r T i m oth y Farrar E D ARD LAND O R

B e a tr i ce Fa rrar S YBIL T H O RN D I K E
Ada H I L DA DAVI E S

P H I PP S
P rodu ced a slightly di fferent version a t the
, in ,

Ga rr i ck T heatre L ondon b y Mr A rthur B o u rch i e r

, , .
,

o n 1 9 th N ovember 1 9 1 2 w i th the following cast

,

P h i pp s A RTH UR B O U RCH IE R

G e r a ld A E MATTHEW S . .

R O S ALI E T OL LE R
3 10 CAS T S OF T H E PL A Y S

W
T H E PE RF E C T C U RE
P rod u ced at the Apollo he atre L ondon by Mr
T , , .

g
C harles H awtrey , on 1 7 th June 1 9 1 3 w i th the follow ,

in cast
Vi n cen t r ayC C HAR LE S H A T RE Y
M a dge r ay C C A TH LEE N NE SB I TT
J a ck P rob yn LYON E L WA TT S
M i s s S can drett MAUD E M ILLETT

AC
g v
Prin t e d b y T . an d ON S T
. ABLE , Prin t e rs to H i s M aje s t y
at the E d i nb u r h U n i e rs i t y Pre s s