Me vs.

We

@jdcarlston
What is “Me?”

@jdcarlston
 Identity
● A unique and persistent attribute over a lifecycle or set
of lifecycles

● Serves to differentiate and abstract the processes as an

entity

● The internal attributes, experiences and relations can

change

● Serves to help categorize, compare and contrast with

other entities of the same type, relational set, or state

@jdcarlston
Self Concept

goals behaviors

experiences character genetics

beliefs memories

@jdcarlston
 Increasing Self-Awareness & Interpersonal Communication

Known to Self Not Known to Self

Strengths Flaws
able loving incompetent childish
accepting mature intolerant boastful
adaptable modest inflexible blasé
bold nervous timid imperceptive
brave observant cowardly chaotic

Known to Arena Blindspots calm

caring
organized
patient
violent
aloof
impatient
weak
(known knowns) (internal unknowns) cheerful powerful glum embarrassed
Others clever
complex
proud
quiet
stupid
simple
loud
vacuous
confident reflective insecure panicky
dependable relaxed irresponsible unethical
dignified religious vulgar insensitive
empathetic responsive lethargic self-satisfied
energetic searching withdrawn passive
extroverted self-assertive hostile smug
friendly self-conscious selfish rash
giving sensible unhappy dispassionate
happy sentimental unhelpful overdramatic
helpful shy cynical dull
idealistic silly needy predictable

Not Known Mask Unconscious independent

ingenious
smart
spontaneous
unimaginative
inane
callous
inattentive
(internal knowns) (unknown unknowns) intelligent sympathetic brash unreliable
to Others introverted tense cruel cold
kind trustworthy ignorant foolish
knowledgeable warm irrational humourless
logical wise distant
witty

The Johari & Nohari Windows @jdcarlston

What is “We?”

@jdcarlston
 Group Concept

Identity

● A unique collection of identities Identity Identity

that are grouped or sorted in a

defined and categorical way
Common
● A group of people with a Identity
Identity Identity

common objective or
overarching identity
Identity Identity

@jdcarlston
What is “vs?”

@jdcarlston
@jdcarlston
 Me vs. We
Identity

● against goals behaviors Identity Identity

● opposed to
● in contrast to
● a conflict or Common
competition
experiences character senses
Identity
Identity Identity

● root: “wer”, “wyr” beliefs memories

Identity Identity
To turn, wind or bend
Diagram of “Me vs. We”

@jdcarlston
@jdcarlston
From “Me” to “We”

@jdcarlston
 Reflexive Flow
● A bidirectional relationship where
both the subject and object
change one another (bending)

●
●
Me vs We is Reflexive
Me to We is Reflexive
Me We
● The conflict inherent in “Me vs.
We” allows us to grow, to adapt
and to change.

@jdcarlston
 Conflict as a Tool for Re-evaluation

“What I think this crisis is actually inviting us to step

into is a fundamentally different lens, which is really
moving from that "me" to "we." And it's really
stretching our cognitive capacity to think and
experience and see ourselves as part of a system
and as embedded in the system.”

--Renée Lertzman,
Climate Psychologist

Climate psychologist says neither gloom-and-doom nor extreme solution-obsessed

optimism is the best way to discuss climate change productively
https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2021/09/26/how-to-discuss-climate-change-productively.html
@jdcarlston
For those who assume and/or
maintain an objective or
subjective posture toward reality,
there is mere existence.

-- Dr. Elaine Cart Winwright

@jdcarlston
 A Parable of Changing Objectives from Me to We

A teacher gave a balloon to a large group of learners, who

each had to inflate it, write their name on it and throw it in
the hallway. They then mixed all the balloons. The learners
were then given 5 minutes to find their own balloon.
Despite a hectic search, no one found theirs.

At that point, the teacher said to take the first balloon they
found and hand it to the person whose name was written on
it. Within 5 minutes, everyone had their own balloon.

The teacher said: "These balloons are like happiness. We will

never find it if everyone is looking for their own. But if we
care about other people's happiness, we'll find ours too."

@jdcarlston
To Inter-Be in Reflexive Flow

Identity

Identity Identity

MeIdentity
Common
Identity We Identity

Identity Identity

@jdcarlston