MODULE I (Introduction to Emotional Intelligence)

1. Definition of Emotional Intelligence:-

 Emotional intelligence refers to the capability of a person to manage and control his or her
emotions and possess the ability to control the emotions of others as well. In other words, they
can influence the emotions of other people also.
 The term emotional intelligence was popularized in 1995 by psychologist and behavioral
science journalist Dr. Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence.
 Dr. Goleman described emotional intelligence as “a person's ability to manage his feelings so
that those feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively”. According to Goleman,
emotional intelligence is the largest single predictor of success in the workplace.
2. Importance of Emotional Intelligence:-
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and regulate one’s emotions and understand the
emotions the others. A high EQ helps you to build relationships, reduce team stress, defuse
conflict and improve job satisfaction. Ultimately, a high EI means having the potential to
increase team productivity and staff retention. That’s why when it comes to recruiting
management roles, employers look to hire and promote candidates with a high ‘EQ’ (emotional
quotient) – rather than IQ (intelligence quotient).
3. Benefits of EI :-
 Helps Employees to Move to the Next Level
 Reduces Stress
 Teaches Employees How to React to Constructive Criticism
 Helps Employees Conquer Their Fears, Doubts, and Insecurities
 Improves Communication Skills
 Enhances Social Skills
 Creates a Positive Environment
 Increases Frustration Tolerance
 Shows Employees Their Limits
 Helps Employees Deal with Change And Uncertainty
 Shows Leaders How to Identify Potential Mental Health Risks
 Increases Sense of Accountability
 Fosters Better Leadership
 Strengthens Team or Group Cohesiveness
 Improves Client Service
4. Johari Window Model of EI :-
Johari Window model of EI was developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington
Ingham in 1955. It is named as window as its 4 quadrants represents window like structure.
 1st quadrant also known as public self/ transparent area
2nd quadrant also known as Blind self/blind spot
3rd quadrant is also known as unknown self/ potential discovery area
4th quadrant is also known as private self/hidden self
5. Understanding difference between Trait EI and Ability EI :- (Main Models of EI)
TRAIT EI MODEL :- Given by Petrides in 2009. It proposes that people have, as part of their
personalities, a number of emotional self-perceptions and emotional traits.
According to Daniel Goleman, there are five main elements of emotional intelligence.
a) Self-Awareness-This is the ability to recognize and
understand ones moods, motivations, and abilities.
Also understanding the effects they have on others.
b) Self-Regulation- This is the ability to control ones
impulses, the ability to think before you
speak/react, and the ability to express yourself
appropriately.

c) Motivation- This is having an interest in learning and self-improvement. It is having

the strength to keep going when there are obstacles in life. It is setting goals and
following through with them.
d) Empathy- This is the ability to understand other people’s emotions and reactions.
Empathy can only be achieved if self-awareness is achieved.
e) Social Skills- This is the ability to pick up on jokes, sarcasm, customer service,
maintaining friendships and relationships, and finding common ground with others.
 ABILITY EI MODEL :- Put forth by Mayer, Salovey and Caruso. This model defines
emotional intelligence in terms of an ability, rather than a trait or characteristic. The model
proposes four main types of emotional abilities which are as follows:-

a) Emotional Perception – it refers an individual’s ability to recognize his own emotions

and to understand the emotions expressed by others. This is the basic skill involved in
EI because unless you can perceive emotions you cannot manage them.
b) Emotional Use – The ability to use one’s emotions involves the skill of leveraging
emotions to enhance our thinking, decision-making and relationships. For example,
Channelizing anger at perceived injustice towards fighting for one’s legitimate rights.
c) Emotional Understanding – It refers to using the specific information that various
emotions provide and knowing how that might affect behaviour of the person. For
example, you promised your wife to take her to movie but you forgot. Once you return
to home, you saw your wife being rude and angry. If you are a man of high EQ, you
can easily discover that the angriness of your wife is the result of your failure to fulfil
the promise.
d) Emotional Management – It refers the ability of an individual to self-regulate
emotions and to regulate emotions in others. The person with a high level of this ability
can harness positive or negative emotions and manage them in a way that facilities the
completion of required tasks.
6. Difference Between Trait EI and Ability EI :-

7. Difference Between EQ and IQ :-

8. Concept of Social Quotient (SQ)/IQ/EQ :-
Intelligence quotient – IQ. Formulated by psychologists like Alfred Binet and later
conceptualized by psychologist William Stern, IQ includes qualities like analytical skills,
logical reasoning, ability to relate multiple things, and ability to store and retrieve information.
IQ tests check this through various questions related to reading comprehension, data
interpretation, logical reasoning, verbal ability, visual-spatial reasoning, classification,
analogies and pattern-detection.
Emotional Intelligence – EQ. Conceptualized by psychologists like Michael Beldoch and
later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, EQ includes some key competencies which
then have further subheads viz. self-awareness which includes emotional awareness, self-
assessment & self-confidence; self-regulation which includes self-control, trustworthiness,
conscientiousness, adaptability & innovativeness; self-motivation which includes drive,
commitment, initiative & optimism; social awareness which includes empathy, service
orientation, developing others, leveraging diversity, and political awareness; and social skills
which include influence, communication, leadership, change management, conflict
management and cooperation.
Social Intelligence – SQ. Postulated by psychologist Edward Thorndike,it was later reinvented
by psychologists like Howard Gardner and Daniel Goleman. Gardner proposed that there are
multiple intelligences, out of which he talked about two important ones intrapersonal
intelligence and interpersonal intelligence. According to him, interpersonal intelligence
includes sensitivity towards others’ moods, feelings, temperaments and motivations; and
ability to cooperate as part of a group. Gardner equated it with Daniel Goleman’s Emotional
Intelligence. “Social intelligence is ability of a person to tune into other people’s emotions and
read the subtle behavioral cues to choose the most effective response in a given situation”.
 Adverse/Adversity Quotient (AQ)- The adversity quotient is a person's ability to face
situations, problems, and obstacles in life. According to Stoltz, a person with an adversity
quotient will be able to effectively face obstacles and take advantage of opportunities.
9. Measuring EI :-
A number of different assessments have emerged to measure levels of emotional intelligence.
Such tests generally fall into one of two types: self-report tests and ability tests.
Self-report tests are the most common because they are the easiest to administer and score. On
such tests, respondents respond to questions or statements by rating their own behaviors. For
example, on a statement such as "I often feel that I understand how others are feeling," a test-
taker might describe the statement as disagree, somewhat disagree, agree, or strongly agree.
Ability tests, on the other hand, involve having people respond to situations and then assessing
their skills. Such tests often require people to demonstrate their abilities, which are then rated
by a third party.
If you are taking an emotional intelligence test administered by a mental health professional,
here are two measures that might be used:
Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) is an ability-based test that
measures the four branches of Mayer and Salovey's EI model. Test-takers perform tasks
designed to assess their ability to perceive, identify, understand, and manage emotions.
Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI) is based on an older instrument known
as the Self-Assessment Questionnaire and involves having people who know the individual
offer ratings of that person’s abilities in several different emotional competencies. The test is
designed to evaluate the social and emotional abilities that help distinguish people as strong
leaders.
10. Skills in EI :-
a) Self awareness
b) Self control / self management
c) Social awareness
d) Relationship management
MODULE II (Social Skills)

1. Social Skills:-
Social skills are skills that promote effective communication with others. There are various
social skills as well as several different ways in which we communicate on a daily basis. Social
skills include written, verbal, nonverbal and visual communication used to relay a message to
others. Common ways in which you exercise your social skills are:
o The language you use
o The tone, pitch and volume of your voice
o Physical gestures you make
o Your facial expressions
o Your body language
o Eye contact with others when communicating

The following are a few of the many important social skills you should possess as a
professional:

 Observation
 Active listening
 Conflict resolution
 Empathy
 Written and verbal communication
 Mirroring
 Cooperation
 Relationship management
2. Making an impact through social skills :-
Having social skills have their benefits and if we develop social skills and are cordial within
our workplace, we are known to develop social capital.
“social capital, involves the potential of individuals to secure benefits and invent solutions to
problems through membership in social networks.”
Thus, benefits of developing social skills are :-
 People will like working with you.
 When you ask for help, people provide it.
 Others will understand your boundaries.
 Clients will love you.
 You’ll nail your job interviews.

How to enhance social skills :-

a) Improve your emotional intelligence
b) Look inwards
c) Practice effective communication skills
d) Fake it till you make it
e) Ask more than you speak
f) Give compliments
g) Be polite
 h) Use open body language and non-verbal communication
i) Read the news
j) Don’t let the thoughts get the best of you
k) Start small
3. Creating a powerful first impression :-
 Be on Time.
 Present Yourself Appropriately.
 Be Yourself.
 Have a Winning Smile!
 Be Open and Confident.
 Use Small Talk.
 Be Positive.
 Be Courteous and Attentive.
4. Assessing the situation :-
a) Notice an occurrence out of the ordinary.
b) Decide "in your gut" that something is a miss or unacceptable.
o Ask yourself, "Could I play a role here?"
o If no one intervenes, what will likely happen?
o Is someone else better placed to respond? Are they available? Will they?
o What would be my purpose in responding?
c) Assess your options for giving help.
d) Determine the potential risks of taking action.
e) Are there risks to myself?
f) Are there risks to others? (e.g. potential retaliation against the person being "helped")
g) Is there a low risk option?
h) How could I reduce risks?
i) Is there more information I can get to better assess the situation?
j) Decide whether to act - now or later
5. Being zealous without being offensive :-
o Focus on what is important to the other person- Be “Other-centered”
o Respect boundaries
o Make requests, not demands
o Note non-verbal behaivour
6. Traits of a person with high social skills :-
o They show an appreciation for others
o They listen deeply- listen with your eyes, mind, heart
o They’re enthusiastic
o They use body language effectively
o They’re grateful
7. Self-awareness :-
A) Seeing the other side- A person may not be able to stay optimistic all the time specially in
adverse situations. Still, if he without being biased to a situation and analysing only one
side of the situation, he should try staying calm and composed and should also analyse the
 other side of the matter as well. He should look after the pros and cons of the situation and
make a valid, logical and suitable decision accordingly.
B) Giving in without giving up – Give up feels like failure whereas giving in feels like
acceptance that you can’t change. Thus, giving in a positive feeling rather than giving up.
8. Life positions :- (You and only you can choose your mindset)
Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decision and
behaviour. Life positions described by Eric Berne (1962/1976) in an article entitled
“Classification of Positions”.
He delineated 4 positions :
o I’m okay, You are okay (good)
o I’m not okay, you are okay (depressive)
o I’m okay, you are not okay (Paranoid)
o I’m not okay, you are not okay (Futile)
9. Self-perception :-
o Perception affects communication and communication affects perception—it is an
ongoing cycle of influence.
o Perception shapes how we interpret others’ communication and how we ourselves
communicate.
o At the same time, communication influences our perceptions of people and situations.
The two processes are intricately intertwined.
a) Emotional self-awareness :- Recognizing and understanding one’s emotions; it is the
differentiation of emotion and impact
b) Self-Regard :- Respecting oneself. Analysing strengths and weaknesses, knowing inner
strength and confidence. How to do it:-
1. Make list of your strength and positive attributes
2. Learn to accept compliments /comment
3. Don’t keep putting yourself down
4. Stop apologizing
5. Try new things
6.Spend time with those who help you to feel good about yourself
7.Treat yourself with respect and consideration
8. Smile at other people and look them in the eyes
9.Be aware of your body language
10. Always think positive
c) Self- actualization :- Quest (aim) to improve oneself.
 Physiological needs:- water, breading, food, sleep ,etc.
Safety needs:- health, shelter, job, etc
Love belonging needs:- love family friendship
Esteem:-Self esteem, confidence, achievements, respect by others
Self- Actualization:- Morality, creativity, acceptance of facts, etc.
10. Self Expression :-
a) Emotional Self Expression
o Open expression of feelings
o Verbally & Non verbally
b) Assertiveness
o Communicating feelings, beliefs, thoughts openly
o Defending them in socially acceptable ways
o Non offensive & Non destructive
c) Independence
o Self directed
o Decision making, planning,
o Autonomy
MODULE III : (INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS)

1. Interpersonal relationships :-
Interpersonal relationship at workplace is nothing but close relationship between two
employees working at the same place. Interpersonal relationships require good effort from the
employees to nurture and maintain. A healthy interpersonal relationship gives an employee the
most joy and satisfaction.
 A strong association among individuals working together in the same organization.
 Ought to share a special bond for them to deliver their level best.
 It is essential for individuals to be honest with each other for a healthy interpersonal
relationship and eventually positive ambience at the workplace.
Interpersonal relationships can include your partner, loved ones, close friends,
acquaintances, co-workers, and many others who make up the social connections in your
life.
Interpersonal relationships for an individual are–
Personal growth and development
Growth and enjoyment
Sense of security
Context of understanding
Interpersonal needs
Establishing personal identity
Interpersonal relationships for manager/leader –

Understanding self
Building a positive functional multidisciplinary team
Improving intra and/or inter team communication, coordination and cooperation
Improved decision making and problem solving

2. Importance of Interpersonal relationships at workplace :-

a) Problem solving- allow people to discuss problems
b) Alignment with business goals- communication is better to communicate goals
c) Trust- improve trust and workplace communication
d) Change management- better understand change and align with it
e) Company culture- helps improve organization culture
f) Employee recognition- recognize good work and give constructive feedback
g) Workplace miscommunication- less miscommunication due to open communication
environment
h) Personal relationships- helps build healthy relationships
i) Effective management and leadership- poor interpersonal relationships can avoid confusion
and poor communication with their employees
j) Employee success- helps employees do their job successfully.
k) Conflict management- resolve conflicts in a calm and timely manner
l) Career development- bring career progressions
 m) Remote work- continue to drive engaging workplace conversations
n) Crisis management- ability to drive interpersonal communication within the workplace
3. Stages of interpersonal relationships
In a 1980 study psychologist George Levinger identified the five stages of interpersonal
relationships: (ABCDE)

1. First Stage – Acquaintance

Acquaintance refers to knowing each other. To start relationship individuals need to know each
other well.

Two individuals might meet at some place and instantly hit it off. People feel attracted to each
other and decide to enter into a relationship.

Common friends, social gatherings, same organizations also help people meet, break the ice,
get acquainted with each other and start a relationship.

2. Second Stage – The Build up Stage

This is the stage when the relationship actually grows. Individuals are no longer strangers and
start trusting each other.

Individuals must be compatible with each other for the relationship to continue for a longer
period of time. Individuals with similar interests and backgrounds tend to gel with each other
more as compared to individuals from diverse backgrounds and different objectives.

The build up stage in a relationship is often characterized by two individuals coming close,
being passionate and feeling for each other.

3. Third Stage – Continuation Stage

This is the stage when relationship blossoms into lasting commitments. It is when people after
knowing each other well decide to be in each other’s company and tie the knot.

Trust and transparency is essential for the charm to stay in relationship forever.

4. Fourth Stage – Deterioration

Not all relationships pass through this stage. Lack of compatibility, trust, love and care often
lead to misunderstandings and serious troubles in relationship.

Individuals sometimes find it extremely difficult to adjust with each other and eventually
decide to bring their relationship to an end.

Compromise is an integral part of every relationship. Individuals failing to compromise with

each other find it difficult to take the relationship to the next level.
 5. Fifth Stage – The Termination Stage

The fifth and the last stage is the end of a relationship.

Relationship terminates due to any of the following reasons

 Death of any one partner

 Divorce
 Separation

4. States of Ego- (Transactional analysis)

Transactional Analysis (TA) is is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy, developed by Eric
Berne during the 1950s. Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. During
a conversation with someone, the person starting the communication will give the ‘transaction
stimulus’ and then the person receiving this stimulus (or message of communication) will give the
‘transaction response’. Transactional analysis is the method used to analyses this process of
transactions in communication with others. It requires us to be aware of how we feel, think and behave
during interactions with others.

TA recognized that the human personality is made up of three "ego states"; each of which is an entire
system of thought, feeling, and behavior from which we interact with each other. The Parent, Adult
and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis
theory.

TA believes that we have three different states or ways of being during interactions, which are; the
child ego state, the parent ego state, and the state of adult. Which state we are in during an interaction
depends on a few factors, such as how we have been conditioned to act or react from childhood, any
past traumas which now cause us to act in a certain way during particular interactions or situations,
and how the other person we are interacting with is treating us/ what ego state they are in when
speaking to us.

a) Child ego- There are two subdivisions of the child state; The adapted child and the free child
ego states. This is when we interact and respond to someone based on our past conditioning of
internal emotions, felt in childhood, so when we revert back to our thinking and feeling from
when we were children. The child ego state is built on any reinforcements we were given in
childhood, either positive or negative, to behave or not behave in a certain way, that still
conditions and affects our interactions today. The adapted child state conforms and acts in
accordance to others wishes in order to please them and be seen as good and liked, but it also
has a rebellious side when faced with perceived conflict and causes responses of resistance,
hostility, and emotional reactivity. The free child ego state can be creative, spontaneous, playful
and pleasure seeking.
b) Parent ego- There are two subdivisions of the parent state; The critical/ controlling parent state
and the nurturing parent state. This is behaviour and thinking patterns we have been taught
from our past interactions with our parents and other authority figures (teachers, grandparents
etc). Berne believed our experiences during our first five years of life contributed to the parent
 ego state. This state holds a lot of judgments on how someone or something is, i.e., it that state
where we find ourselves having a lot of ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ about something. People
are in this state when they are reactive to a situation and act out of their conditioning, copying
how their parents (or another authority figure) treated them and others, instead of analysing
each situation afresh in the here and now. It is when we use are voice of authority towards
someone. The critical parent is disapproving in a harsh and possibly aggressive way, whereas
the nurturing parent tries to take over a situation in more of a rescuing way, trying to sooth
others which can be very inappropriate when talking to other adults rather than children.
c) Adult ego- Unlike the other two, the adult state does not have any subdivisions. The adult state
interacts with people and its environment in the here and now, not from past conditioning or
how other people have told them to be. This state is more open, more rational, and less quick
to make harsh judgments on a situation or person. When communication takes place from the
adult state, we are more likely to be respectful, make compromises, listen fully to others, and
have healthier social interactions.

How do ego states interact and effect communication-

The three states of child, parent and adult effect how we receive, perceive and respond to
information or communication from someone.

Berne observed that people need strokes, the units of interpersonal recognition, to survive and
thrive. Understanding how people give and receive positive and negative strokes and changing
unhealthy patterns of stroking are powerful aspects of work in transactional analysis.
Transactional analysis believes that adult to adult communication/ transactions leads to the most
effective and healthy communication thus relationships with others.

The different types of transactions below explain how interactions from the different ego states
interact with each other.
Transactional Analysis: Combinations of transactions –
 a) Complementary transaction - whatever ego state that the sender is in, their
communication reaches or impacts the desired ego state of the receiver, thus the
receiver responds in a way that complements the sender's ego state instead of
challenging it. Eg. Q- What it is it? A- Three O’clock.
b) Crossed transaction- when the ego state of the sender does not reach the desired
or intended ego state of the respondent, thus they respond to the sender in a
conflicting way. Eg- Q- What it is it? A- Forget about what time it is, get that
report finished.
c) Ulterior transaction- Ulterior transactions are when the sender outwardly gives
a message to the receiver that sounds like its coming from his adult state to the
receiver's adult state. Eg- Q- What it is it? A- What time do you think it is? Q-
Hundred o’clock? A- Exactly!
6. Social Responsibility –
 Meaning- Accepting ideas and beliefs of others while also respecting and caring for
peers/others feelings in order to accomplish a task.
 Social Responsibility and Justice- Equity, social justice, and developing interpersonal
skills and relationships in a physical activity setting.
 Social Responsibility at workplace (CSR)- It is the continuing commitment by business
to behave ethically and contribute to economic development while improving the
quality of life of the workforce and their families as well as of the local community and
society at large

Why CSR?
 Business uses scarce resources of society
 Government alone cannot tackle problems of inclusive growth
 Business should supplement Government’s efforts in addressing social challenges
we face today.
 Business cannot succeed in a society which fails.
Types of CSR-
Types of corporate social responsibility

o Philanthropy—charity drives and sponsorship.

o Volunteering—plant trees, give blood, community clean ups.
o Environmental leadership—recycling, carbon neutral.
o Ethical labour practices—generous paid parental leave, competitive salaries.
o Economic responsibility—company pays its taxes, invests back into
communities, pays competitive wages.

Factors influencing ethical managerial behaviour at workplace-

Steps Involved to be social responsible at workplace –
Step 1: Find socially responsible co-workers.
Step 2: Help one co-worker to recruit others
Step 3: Use the first charity as the reason to talk about more charities.
Step 4: Start with simple charity events in the office.
Step 5: Make social responsibility a regular part of the workplace.

7. Handling tough conversations –

What is a Difficult Conversation?
A difficult conversation is one whose primary subject matter is potentially contentious and/or
sensitive and may elicit strong, complex emotions that can be hard to predict or control.

How to Handle Difficult Conversations-

o Determine the purpose of the conversation
o Adopt the right approach
o Recognise and manage your emotional state
o Challenge you own assumptions and beliefs
o Plan the exchange
o Provide an opportunity for preparation
o Open the conversation
o Present your side of the story
o Listen to their side of the story
o Handle reactions with care
o Find the middle ground and reach an amicable solution

Responding to anger
It is the way we deal with the anger and frustration ignited by our interactions with difficult people in
a healthier and more productive way.
Techniques to deal with anger:-
Technique 1: Agree with it!- You can choose to agree with the feelings, not the facts.

Technique 2: Do the unexpected- As you replace your childhood beliefs of “control” with mature ones
in the present, your anxiety level comes down.

Technique 3: Validate the anger- You are not his enemy! You are on his side! When you validate his
anger, you are validating him. You are giving him permission to have the emotions he has. No one
ever has ever done that for him before. He might like it. He might even calm down.

Technique 4: Shift your gears- You can choose to calm yourself down, and put your own anger in a
moderate, manageable perspective: “It’s not the end of the world. It’s only a regrettable circumstance
between two imperfect people in an imperfect world.”

Technique 5: Expect appropriate regret that it happened- You can choose to replace your old,
deferential mind-set with a better one: Regret is the wish that things were other than they are. But they
aren’t. This thing happened, and it’s regrettable. We can’t live with guilt, even when it is fictitious
guilt, or self-recrimination.
Technique 6: As soon as you defend, you lose. In so doing, you are making his accusations real, as if
they were worthy of rebuttal. Your imperfections are not crimes, and you are not guilty as he charges
that you are. You may have violated a county statute, but you are not a guilty criminal worthy of instant
extinction. He is not the judge and jury. You can replace your fictitious guilt with the regret that you
aren’t as perfect a driver as you might wish yourself to be. You require no defense under these
battlefield conditions.
Technique 7: Our secret weapon, self-respect- The antidote to losing your self-worth in these close
encounters of the worst kind is to put your current problem on a sound footing. It is true that a perfect
driver would have been able to avoid this regrettable circumstance, but you are not one of them. You
can remind yourself that you are covered against such mishaps in advance: You are worthwhile in spite
of it. You wish it hadn’t happened, but it did. You are prepared to make appropriate, not inappropriate
amends.

Technique 8: Stress Reduction- Stress is what happens when we exceed our ability to adapt. These
run-ins are very stressful. They are hard to adapt to. We never took adapting lessons. We didn’t go to
school for this. We feel inadequately prepared to cope with this mess, and it’s too late to prepare now.
We feel angry and out-of-control, and this leads to painful anxiety and self-doubt. These are internal
stresses that we bring to the situation from the past. They compound the pain of the external stress we
are under.

Technique 9: Discretion- We are not agreeing that he is “right” in his facts. These aren’t facts at all.
These are his mindless attitudes speaking. They are overriding his adult judgment, and predisposing
him to behave like the overgrown third-grader he is. We aren’t going to tell him that. That’s for us to
know and him to find out. This attitude is called, Discretion-“The power to choose how much or how
little we wish to reveal.” We are choosing to reveal very little. We are angry too, but we are choosing
not to give him any ammunition to use against us.
Technique 10: Don’t react, respond- We do not defend or counter-attack. Those are reactions to his
provocation. Those are our attitudes firing. They are out of our conscious control. Instead, we can use
our own adult judgment as our means of regaining positive control. We free ourselves to make the
choice not to take his provocations personally as if they were a reflection on our worth as a person.
The whole thing is merely regrettable, perhaps even very regrettable. We can’t live with “guilt,” it
hurts too much, but we can live with regret. This unfortunate incident only proves we are imperfect,
which we already knew. We wish that things were otherwise, but they aren’t. We are worthwhile in
spite of it. We always were. We will be again.

Employers Role Support

 Prevention through good company culture, training and education

 Proactive and responsive to complaints
 All reasonable steps necessary to prevent
 Prompt, thorough and effective investigations
 Appropriate follow-through

Training employees support

 Raise awareness about the issues and concerns about difficult conversations
 Provide examples of what contributes to ineffective conversations
 Show them how to conduct effective conversations
 Provide checklists for preparation
 Provide templates for conducting the meetings
 Link it to management development

Negotiation
The term negotiation refers to a strategic discussion that resolves an issue in a way that both parties
find acceptable. In a negotiation, each party tries to persuade the other to agree with their point of
view. Negotiations involve some give and take, which means one party will always come out on top
of the negotiation. The other, though, must concede—even if that concession is nominal.

By negotiating, all involved parties try to avoid arguing but agree to reach some form of compromise.
Negotiating parties vary and can include buyers and sellers, an employer and prospective employee,
or governments of two or more countries.
Stages of Negotiation

1. Prepare, Probe, and Propose- When starting any new project, including negotiation efforts,
it is important to lay the foundation first. The preparation stage is composed of a variety of
steps that are all geared toward helping you set the groundwork for your negotiation. In this
stage, of course, preparation is key. Conflict can arise at any time, which means there is no
allotted timeframe for you to prepare your negotiation techniques. Therefore, it is critical to
start this first stage as soon as possible.
The prepare, probe and propose stage involves researching pertinent information as well as
analyzing all the data you collect to determine its utility. It is important to understand the issue
 at hand as well as all the potential angles involved. A skilled negotiator understands that the
ultimate goal of negotiation isn’t necessarily to prove you are right; rather, it is about being
informed and accurate. Research during the initial stage is important to understand what will
occur when negotiating the conflict at hand. Who is involved? Where did the conflict start?
Why is this an issue for either party? These questions, along with several others, are important
to consider during this stage. By probing the issue, you are digging deep to understand the roots
of the issue. Once you understand the issue fully, you can start to propose solutions to resolve
the conflict at hand. If all goes well, you’ll be able to propose a solution that both parties can
find beneficial.

2. Define Ground Rules and Exchange Information- In stage one, you haven’t even officially
met with the other side yet. You’ve done your research to build your case and have learned all
you can about your opposition. In stage two, you will begin to communicate with your
opposition, but there is still work to be done before any official negotiating can begin. In stage
2, your primary focus is to establish the terms of the negotiation as well as exchange
information to improve the chances of a successful negotiation.
At this stage, you’ll also focus on exploring the other side. This provides you an opportunity
to test the assumptions you developed during your initial research. This is also the best
opportunity to try and build a positive relationship heading into the negotiation. Even if you
are coming to the negotiating table with vastly different views, a sense of common ground and
understanding is beneficial. With effort, you can develop a better understanding of what the
other side wants to accomplish and what potential solutions may mesh well with your own
goals.
Building rapport and trust while discussing the ground rules of the negotiation can lead to a
new level of comfortability. When you and your opposition are comfortable, you are generally
more willing to communicate openly and express yourself freely. Thus, the goals of this stage
are to gain some level of trust, build a common ground of honesty and credibility, and find
some way to establish and build upon the relationship.
It is important not to rush this stage if possible. There is no set time frame for completing each
of the steps of negotiation. The more time you can invest in building a relationship and finding
common ground, the better chance you have at making your position heard and understood
during negotiation.

3. Clarification- Before diving into the true negotiations, it is important to be sure that both
parties are on the same page regarding the negotiation process. In stage two, you took the time
to understand the other side. You listened to their issue as well as what they hope to gain from
the negotiating process. You also explained your stance, and what you hope to gain. Together,
you should have established some ground rules to ensure that all relevant viewpoints and time
are respected. In stage three, you’re essentially finalizing this process. Take the time to reflect
on what you’ve learned and note any gaps or confusions that may be present. Stage three allows
you the opportunity to seek any necessary clarifications from your opposition involving the
issue itself, other parties with stake in the negotiations, the evidence provided, or even what
may constitute a mutually agreeable outcome.
4. Bargaining and Problem Solving- Stage four is where true negotiation begins. You’ve taken
the time to do your research and fully understand the issue at hand. You’ve met with the other
side to understand their concerns and hopeful outcomes. You’ve also taken the time to seek
any necessary clarifications. Now, it is time to advocate for your proposed solution and listen
to the opposition’s counterproposal.
In the bargaining stage, it is important to be aware of not only the verbal cues of your
negotiation partner, but the non-verbal cues as well, including body language. This process can
be delicate, and in difficult negotiations, you must sometimes move back a step to problem
solve until all parties are comfortable. During the bargaining stage, each side will lay out their
concerns as well as their perceived solutions. This process is all about the give and take, so it
is beneficial to remember that the ultimate goal is to seek a mutual agreement.

5. Conclude and Implement- Bargaining can take time, but eventually the negotiations must
come to an end. A solution must be reached, and it will ideally benefit both parties in some
way. At this stage, it is important to make sure that all essential elements to officially establish
the agreement are in place. Thus, clarity is key to ensuring that everyone is on the same page
before implementation begins. This stage can involve signing contracts or legally enforcing
any other terms laid out during the negotiation process. Follow-up is crucial, ensuring that
implementation brings with it the desired effects for both parties.

Team Integration:-
Team integration is a concept that has been widely fostered in alliances as a way of improving
collaborative relationships between diverse organisations. However, deeper insights into the
practice of high levels of team integration remain elusive.
Team Integration Importance

Integration within a company is an ongoing process that must be applied to maintain employee
engagement, as well as integrate new employees into the organizational environment and make
everyone look for quality. Team building seeks greater integration, reinforcing the importance of
the need to work as a team, adding strength and achieving the objectives and goals idealized by
management. Promoting integration among team members from different sectors, the company
manages to make each of them feel part of the team, facilitating the development of activities. As
each company has a different organizational level and, consequently, a specific work environment,
it is necessary to apply the team building activities, thus developing a culture in the organization
that presents the desired results. Although in different ways, the organizational environment can
benefit from the same results through integration between teams, as we can see below:
1. GREATER SYNERGY BETWEEN TEAMS- The integration promoted by team building
allows employees to feel part of the whole, producing with better quality. At the same time, the
company will achieve greater synergy, promoting better relationships among employees.

2. IMPROVING PRODUCTIVITY- The investment in team building activities will enable the
company to have a more cohesive and participative organizational climate, with employees being
more concerned about achieving good results. Consequently, the company will have improved
productivity while maintaining the quality of its products and services.
 3. REDUCTION OF ABSENTEEISM IN THE WORKPLACE- With the commitment promoted
by the integration among employees, the teams will have a greater motivation, making work more
enjoyable. As a result, each employee will feel more satisfied with their activities, with greater
concern about absenteeism, since their participation is important to the company’s activities.

4. RETENTION OF TALENTS- Better integration between employees and teams strengthens the
relationship and collaboration, creating a better organizational climate and satisfying each
employee professionally. With good working conditions, hardly a member of the team will seek
another job, enabling the company to guarantee the retention of talent, valuing its human capital
even more.
5. STRENGTHENING COMMUNICATION- The main objective of team building is to promote
integration among employees, making them better known, reducing the possibility of small work
conflicts and improving communication. Without conflicts, results are more rewarding, improving
productivity and ensuring a more harmonious organizational environment.

6. IMPROVING COMPANY IMAGE- The benefits offered by team building will be reflected
directly in the improvement of the company’s image, in its results and in the quality of service.
With more satisfied employees, the company demonstrates its ability to create a good working
environment, offering better perception to its customers, suppliers and partners.

It is known that successful Team Augmentation and Integration depends on understanding and
satisfying the differing requirements of multiple stakeholders. Let us understand those components:

1. Leadership: VPs and executive leadership care about finding a credible partner that can help
scale development. They don’t have time to experiment; they want to see impact within 30-60
days. They are most concerned with contracts and costs, as well as safeguarding the company’s
intellectual property.
 2. Management: Product and project managers need to make decisions that increase velocity and
productivity. They are looking for a partner that can help deliver new features and keep up with
rapidly changing market and customer needs. Managers are looking for a proven approach to
integrating teams, transferring knowledge and managing deliverables, all without increasing
workload. Above all, they care about finding a partner they can trust – one that consistently
delivers on its commitments.
3. Execution: Team leads and developers need help executing on the less glamorous but ever
important tasks, including bug fixes, testing, and tackling the ever-growing product backlog.
They want to feel equally confident in their partner’s ability to take on areas that are mundane
as well as the areas that require further development. They care most about working with really
smart and committed developers who can learn quickly and add value without wasting
anyone’s time. At the Execution level, team leads and developers concentrate on building
cohesive teams that are dependable.

Team Integration is not about occupying a permanent position in technology stack. It’s quite the
opposite. It is to seek opportunities for finite engagements that may last for several years, so that all
stakeholder groups must be in sync on the perception of value from one company involvement with
another. The beauty of the Team Integration Framework is that all parties have skin in the game. You
don’t want to lose precious time to adding resources that don’t pay off, just as a company wouldn’t
want to take the financial hit for four or eight weeks of a dysfunctional engagement.

Leadership variables
There are five main variables that can influence leadership behaviour:
1. The tasks and goal of the organisation
2. The leader’s knowledge, skills & attitudes
3. The followers’ skills, attitudes & motivation
4. The context or situation
5. The resources available

Preparation for effective Team Building

Effective work teams do not just happen miraculously; they are the result of careful planning and
preparation.

Preparing
you: the
Leader
 1. Preparation the work environment:-
a. Identify the department’s purpose that explains clearly (as a whole) what the
department is supposed to do
b. Each employee in the department has clearly defined job tasks with defined
performance levels
c. Ensure that every person/supervisor at every level in the department demonstrates daily:
-Leadership skills
-Work assessment skills

d. Make sure that:

There is proper delegation at every level
There is chance for creativity, innovation & decision making by the employee
Much emphasis is laid on employee coaching, training and development at all levels
2. Preparing you: The leader:-
a. Make sure that all new employee have completed a measurable and documented
orientation and basic training program in their new job within the department
b. Ensure good communication and discussion with your staff:
 To identify work related strengths and performance improvement needs of each of them
 To identify non-budgetary reward that could have value for each of them
 So that you and your staff are in regular agreement on the priority
 The need to identify potential team leaders and identify additional training or
experience opportunities that will help them in their development
c. The need to identify to your satisfaction, the limits of authority you will be willing exert
d. Discussing with the potential team leaders to help them see through your eyes
e. The need to develop: “Team code of conduct” in conjunction with your potential team
leaders that will be observed when you begin the creation of work teams
3. Preparing the team members:-
You need to ensure that every team members receive training (on/off job) on:
 Communication: oral and written- better communication skills will make it easier to
work with each other, their leaders and their staff/customers
 Problem solving
 Conducting effective meeting: Allowing them to lead departmental meetings to develop
their skills and confidence, take some work load off their leader, and spot future talent
 Any kind of training to help them increase their value to the organisation

Conflict

 All groups encounter conflict (both task and relational)

 We think of conflict in negative terms: shouting, arguing, aggressive and passive resistance
 Conflict is often interaction between different personality types
 We often avoid and ignore conflict
 We are often unaware of potentially positive outcomes of conflict
 We must learn to manage conflict productively
 Conflict must have some conclusion
 Causes of conflict:-

 Diverse/conflicting worldviews, values, attitudes, and personalities, perceptions

 Different needs, expectations, Communication problem
 Limited time and resources
 Ambiguous roles and leadership
 Unclear administrative procedures, reward structures, and decision making strategies

Dealing with Conflict:-

 Confront the opposition

 Define the conflict mutually
 Communicate feelings and positions
 Communicate cooperative intentions
 Take the other person’s perspective
 Motivate to negotiate
 Reach a mutually satisfying agreement

Decision Making
Decision making is the process of making choices by identifying a decision, gathering information,
and assessing alternative resolutions.
Using a step-by-step decision-making process can help you make more deliberate, thoughtful decisions
by organizing relevant information and defining alternatives. This approach increases the chances that
you will choose the most satisfying alternative possible.
Step 1: Identify the decision

You realize that you need to make a decision. Try to clearly define the nature of the decision you must
make. This first step is very important.
Step 2: Gather relevant information

Collect some pertinent information before you make your decision: what information is needed, the
best sources of information, and how to get it. This step involves both internal and external “work.”
Some information is internal: you’ll seek it through a process of self-assessment. Other information is
external: you’ll find it online, in books, from other people, and from other sources.
Step 3: Identify the alternatives

As you collect information, you will probably identify several possible paths of action, or alternatives.
You can also use your imagination and additional information to construct new alternatives. In this
step, you will list all possible and desirable alternatives.
Step 4: Weigh the evidence
Draw on your information and emotions to imagine what it would be like if you carried out each of
the alternatives to the end. Evaluate whether the need identified in Step 1 would be met or resolved
through the use of each alternative. As you go through this difficult internal process, you’ll begin to
favor certain alternatives: those that seem to have a higher potential for reaching your goal. Finally,
place the alternatives in a priority order, based upon your own value system.
Step 5: Choose among alternatives

Once you have weighed all the evidence, you are ready to select the alternative that seems to be best
one for you. You may even choose a combination of alternatives. Your choice in Step 5 may very
likely be the same or similar to the alternative you placed at the top of your list at the end of Step 4.
Step 6: Take action

You’re now ready to take some positive action by beginning to implement the alternative you chose
in Step 5.
Step 7: Review your decision & its consequences

In this final step, consider the results of your decision and evaluate whether or not it has resolved the
need you identified in Step 1. If the decision has not met the identified need, you may want to repeat
certain steps of the process to make a new decision. For example, you might want to gather more
detailed or somewhat different information or explore additional alternatives.
Creativity in decision making :-

Creativity is the ability to link or combine ideas in novel ways, and their unique alternatives have to
be considered useful to others. Creativity is also known as divergent or lateral thinking. Lateral
thinking moves away from the linear approach that’s advocated in rational decision making. Some
researchers feel that employee and manager creativity is the hallmark of an organization’s success—
that solving old organizational issues in new ways creates organizational effectiveness.
Five characteristics that creative leaders seem to have in common:

 Perseverance in the face of obstacles and adversity

 Willingness to take risks
 Willingness to grow and openness to experience
 Tolerance of ambiguity
 Effective use of analogy to apply a known situation to an unknown situation
The Three Components of Creativity
Studies show that most individuals have the capability of being at least moderately creative, so if
organizations want to help individuals develop their creativity, they can leverage the three components
of creativity. The three components of creativity suggest that creativity lies at the intersection of
motivation, expertise and developed creative thinking skills.

 Expertise—technical, procedural and intellectual knowledge—is the foundation for all creative
work. You wouldn’t expect someone who knows very little about software programming to
come up with creative solutions to problems. The potential for creativity in a given area is
enhanced when the individual has an exceptional grasp of the information around a problem or
issue. Organizations can have a positive impact on increasing employee expertise with training,
mentorship programs, etc.
 Creative thinking skills encompass all those personality traits we talked about earlier that are
common to creative leaders. Organizations, when cognizant of the traits that foster creativity,
can interview and select candidates for hire that have these characteristics.
 Motivation here means that an individual wants to work on a particular task because it’s
interesting and engaging. An individual who is more intrinsically motivated is likely to have
an easier time developing creativity than one who is more extrinsically motivated. Motivation
determines the extent to which an individual will engage his expertise and creative thinking
skills.

Techniques to decision making:-

1. Brainstorming
A brainstorming session is a type of group decision making that can be really effective when you
need to raise potential ideas and solutions. This offers a free-flowing structure to the discussion
and allows the whole team an opportunity to share their ideas on how to approach a particular
situation. The main goal of brainstorming is to come up with as many suggestions as possible and
to then decipher which idea may be the best approach. These meetings are a little more geared
towards generating ideas than coming to a final decision but often, one idea stands out from others
and can be selected as the most effective solution.

2. The Delphi Method

The Delphi technique is a good option when you need to reach a group consensus for a major
decision. This group decision-making process takes all of the ideas generated by your team and
compiles them for the leader of the group to break down into a smaller list of possible approaches.
Those fewer options are then taken back to the group for further discussion and collective
consideration. Essentially, the choices are condensed until a majority decision can be made. The
idea is that when there are fewer options available a decision is reached with much more ease and
with collective agreement from you and your team members.
 3. Weighted Scoring
Weighted scoring is ideal to use in a situation where your team has many ideas for possible solutions
but have not necessarily considered the implications of each decision thoroughly. The weighted
scoring technique is founded on the idea that certain ideas or approaches may be riskier than others
and therefore their implications need to be considered. Each item is evaluated against criteria such as
the business value, costs, risks, and adoption. Each of these criteria is assigned a score based on the
weighting (impact) of them. You’re looking for an approach that will score high in business value,
high in adoption, score low in cost, and low in risk. After weighing each idea, you can tally up the
scores to make an informed team decision.
4. Nominal Group Technique
The nominal group technique builds on the brainstorming discussion by including a voting process at
the end. Not only does each group member cast a vote, but each person is given the opportunity to
also give an explanation as to why they voted for whichever decision or option and why they feel as
if it’s the best choice. Depending on the topic of discussion, there are a few different ways that you
can use the nominal group technique. If the topic is more sensitive or controversial, you may want to
engage your team with a survey with the option to remain anonymous. Otherwise, this technique can
be used during your meeting in an open discussion.
 5. Possibility Ranking
Possibility ranking means determining the best option through using a voting system or creating a list
as a team to prioritize ideas and approaches. When you’re trying to make a collective decision about
a question or issue that has many different potential outcomes, this can be a great group decision-
making technique to engage. This technique can be used in an email, in a survey, or in your live
meeting. You can begin with asking everyone to make a personal list of how they might rank
different options or approaches and then combine lists to see if there are common opinions amongst
the group so that you can come to a consensus. After you determine the average of the best option,
you can take that approach knowing that the majority support it and agree with it.
6. The Stepladder Technique
Similar to the Delphi method, the stepladder technique encourages each team member to give their
personal opinion on a matter, before anyone can be influenced by the rest of the group. This prevents
groupthink and encourages authenticity and honesty in your team members’ answers. There are a
few steps required for this approach:

Step 1: Before meeting as a group, present the task to your team. Make sure to give enough time to
everyone to think about their opinion or decision on how to best accomplish the task at hand.

Step 2: Create a core group of two members and have them discuss the task or issue.

Step 3: Add a third group member to the core group. This third member presents ideas to the first
two members before they hear the ideas that have already been spoken about. After all three
members have laid out their solutions and ideas, they discuss their options collectively.

Step 4: Repeat the same process by adding a fourth member, fifth, sixth and so on, to the group.
Make sure that there’s enough time for discussion after each added member has presented their
views.

Step 5: Make a final decision after everyone has been brought in and shared their ideas.
 7. Pros and Cons list
In business, a pros and cons list is often referred to as Dialectical Inquiry and can actually be quite
effective. Dialectical inquiry is a group decision-making approach that tries to fight against
groupthink. Philosophical in nature said to have originated with Plato, this group decision-making
technique asks group members to consider both the thesis and antithesis to any idea. When using this
technique, split participants into two groups: those advocating for an idea and those advocating
against it. Each group has the chance to explain and highlight why they feel as if their decision will
produce the best business outcomes and why the alternative opinion may not make as much sense.

8. Didactic Interaction
Didactic interaction is similar to your pros and cons list or do dialectical inquiry, but unfolds a little
differently. This approach is only applicable in certain situations but works very well when the right
opportunity arises. The type of problem should be such that it results in a “yes” or a “no” solution.
These are typically major decisions that will have a large impact on the way the business operates
and will affect each employee as well. Such types of decisions require extensive and sometimes
exhaustive discussions that can be time-consuming. Using this approach, you can simplify the
process of investigation, waste no time and get straight to the point, without asking for any kind of
elaboration.

9. Decision-trees
The decision tree technique is great for forecasting outcomes to different decisions. Decision trees
are highly visual and operate as a type of non-linear mind map so that you can predict how certain
approaches to a situation may turn out. Because this model of decision-making isn’t linear, you and
your team can come up with creative ideas and make multiple potential decisions to understand
which one has the most beneficial outcome. The decision tree starts out with one question, which is
the root of the tree, which then branches out into many different possibilities. Branches will lead to
nodes (outcomes) and subsequently, you can add a leaf, marking a rule or final decision.
 10. Consensus Mapping
Consensus mapping begins with your team generating and developing ideas. It then attempts to
arrive at a decision by pooling these ideas together, which have been generated by several task
subgroups. The ideas generated by the task sub-groups are further developed collectively and then
narrowed down into a smaller number of ideas, with a stronger focus. Subsequently, all the ideas are
again narrowed down into an even smaller number of ideas until the group is able to come to a
mutually acceptable solution to the problem or situation. This technique is best suited for multi-
dimensional problems, with interconnected relationships throughout the business, and involves
several steps to coming to a final decision.

Reality Testing
 Difference between conscious and unconscious is more blurry than we believe
 Egos ability to employ reality testing is one of the markers to gage between conscious and
unconscious
 used by some therapists to assist clients in distinguishing their internal thoughts, feelings and
ideas from the events, which are based within reality.
 it is the ability to see a situation for what it really is, rather than what one hopes or fears it
might be

Why is reality
 People who experience altered states of consciousness
 Alcohol/Drug dependency
 Meditative States
 Fatigue(tiredness)
 Psychotic disorders, psychotic depressing

Importance of Reality testing

• It allows us to distinguish between what is real and what isn’t.

• It allows us to judge situations appropriately.
• Allows us to notice our own feelings and what they mean.
• Gives us a basis of comparison.
• Allows us to improve how we react to situations.
 How to do reality Testing:-

 Be objective
 See a situation from as many angles as possible.
 Take time to make a judgement about a situation
 Other people have their own thoughts and feelings
 Think and then react
 Are you reacting too greatly or not enough?
 Think about how much emotion or feeling each situation truly requires.
 Seek external perspectives
 Ask a friend for their perspective.
 Take a moment to consider the possible outcomes
 sometimes silence or time to reflect can be beneficial.

Problem Solving

Problem solving is the act of defining a problem; determining the cause of the problem; identifying,
prioritizing, and selecting alternatives for a solution; and implementing a solution.

Problem Solving Process

In order to effectively manage and run a successful organization, leadership must guide their
employees and develop problem-solving techniques. Finding a suitable solution for issues can be
accomplished by following the basic four-step problem-solving process and methodology outlined
below.

Step Characteristics

1. Define the problem  Differentiate fact from opinion

 Specify underlying causes
 Consult each faction involved for information
 State the problem specifically
 Step Characteristics

 Identify what standard or expectation is violated

 Determine in which process the problem lies
 Avoid trying to solve the problem without data

2. Generate alternative  Postpone evaluating alternatives initially

solutions  Include all involved individuals in the generating of alternatives
 Specify alternatives consistent with organizational goals
 Specify short- and long-term alternatives
 Brainstorm on others' ideas
 Seek alternatives that may solve the problem

3. Evaluate and select an  Evaluate alternatives relative to a target standard

alternative  Evaluate all alternatives without bias
 Evaluate alternatives relative to established goals
 Evaluate both proven and possible outcomes
 State the selected alternative explicitly

4. Implement and follow up on  Plan and implement a pilot test of the chosen alternative
the solution  Gather feedback from all affected parties
 Seek acceptance or consensus by all those affected
 Establish ongoing measures and monitoring
 Evaluate long-term results based on final solution

1. Define the problem

Diagnose the situation so that your focus is on the problem, not just its symptoms. Helpful problem-
solving techniques include using flowcharts to identify the expected steps of a process and cause-
and-effect diagrams to define and analyze root causes.

The sections below help explain key problem-solving steps. These steps support the involvement of
interested parties, the use of factual information, comparison of expectations to reality, and a focus
on root causes of a problem. You should begin by:

 Reviewing and documenting how processes currently work (i.e., who does what, with what
information, using what tools, communicating with what organizations and individuals, in what time
frame, using what format).
 Evaluating the possible impact of new tools and revised policies in the development of your "what
should be" model.

2. Generate alternative solutions

Postpone the selection of one solution until several problem-solving alternatives have been proposed.
Considering multiple alternatives can significantly enhance the value of your ideal solution. Once
 you have decided on the "what should be" model, this target standard becomes the basis for
developing a road map for investigating alternatives. Brainstorming and team problem-solving
techniques are both useful tools in this stage of problem solving.

Many alternative solutions to the problem should be generated before final evaluation. A common
mistake in problem solving is that alternatives are evaluated as they are proposed, so the first
acceptable solution is chosen, even if it’s not the best fit. If we focus on trying to get the results we
want, we miss the potential for learning something new that will allow for real improvement in the
problem-solving process.

3. Evaluate and select an alternative

Skilled problem solvers use a series of considerations when selecting the best alternative. They
consider the extent to which:

 A particular alternative will solve the problem without causing other unanticipated problems.
 All the individuals involved will accept the alternative.
 Implementation of the alternative is likely.
 The alternative fits within the organizational constraints.

4. Implement and follow up on the solution

Leaders may be called upon to direct others to implement the solution, "sell" the solution, or
facilitate the implementation with the help of others. Involving others in the implementation is an
effective way to gain buy-in and support and minimize resistance to subsequent changes.

Regardless of how the solution is rolled out, feedback channels should be built into the
implementation. This allows for continuous monitoring and testing of actual events against
expectations. Problem solving, and the techniques used to gain clarity, are most effective if the
solution remains in place and is updated to respond to future changes.

Possible problems at workplace

 Collaborate and work with different people

 Meet targets and deadlines
 Work with tight budgets
 To gain praise of supervisors
 Work within the norms and culture of organization
 Communication problems
 Attitude problem
 Poor performance
 Discrimination/ harassment

Steps for Effective Problem Solving in the Workplace

1. Identify the issues.

2. Understand everyone's interests.
3. List the possible solutions (options)
4. Evaluate the options.
 5. Select an option or options.
6. Document the agreement(s).
7. Agree on contingencies, monitoring, and evaluation.

Impulse Control at Workplace

Impulse control is one of the core competencies of emotional intelligence (EI) and is defined as the
degree to which a person can control the need for immediate gratification. It may be the most
significant indicator of a person’s future success in the workplace or adaptation in society in terms of
building and maintaining relationships with others.

The impact of a lack of impulse control in the workplace is generally significant whether it is a one-
time occurrence or a pattern of behavior. When you act on an impulse that leads to a negative
outcome, it can lead to serious consequences that are life changing and result in forming a negative
reputation. On the other hand, when you have a positive outcome, it gets a different type of attention.
It can look like you are brilliant, and your reputation is elevated as a leader and a managed risk taker.

Benefits of Impulse control:-

Performanc
e

Future IMPULSE More Friends

Adaptation CONTROL

More
Professionalis
m

How to manage your impulse:-

1. Create awareness about your impulses and those which potentially cause problems,
2. Plan of action – develop a problem solving action plan Delay action – if you can concentrate
on your breathing, repeating a word or counting, you can overcome the impulse with
distraction and time
3. Act mindfully – notice your impulses without attaching or acting on them
4. Ask someone you trust – a colleague, family member or friend – for regular feedback
5. Don’t expect your behaviour to change overnight- but do keep working on it.
UNIT-IV- EI and Personal Effectiveness

Flexibility

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage
change.” – Charles Darwin

Flexibility expresses our ability to adjust one’s emotions and behaviour to changing situations
and conditions. It involves adapting and adjusting one’s feelings and thinking to new situations.
Flexibility measures how flexible you are in your approach to life. It can indicate whether you
welcome and even seek out new experiences or prefer a more stable environment at work or at
home. Are you able to progress change?

We often think about being flexible or inflexible in our thinking, however if we break this down
we often find that our flexibility is task specific. So someone who is risk averse at work may be a
big risk taker outside of work. Someone who likes change and difference at work may be a
creature of habit and like sameness at home.

Workplace Flexibility

• About when where and how people work

• Essential part of creating an effective organization
• About employee and employer making changes to meet individual and business need in
better and effective manner
• Should be mutually beneficial for employee and employer
• Enables
– When(time)
– Where(location)
– Manner(how)
Stress Tolerance

• Stress within your comfort zone cannot help you while under pressure motivate you to do
your best, even keep you safe when danger looms.
• When stress becomes overwhelming, it can damage your mood and relationships, and lead to
a host of serious mental and physical health problems
Stress is the body’s response to changing stimuli or stressors. It has been linked to the cause of
several health issues including ulcers. But is all stress bad for you? The answer is “No.” Stress
can actually be a good thing as long as it’s not causing a negative affect on you. In fact, Hans
Selye introduced the concept of stress having two categories: distress and eustress. Distress is
stress that negatively affects you and eustress is stress that has a positive effect on you. Eustress
is what energizes us and motivates us to make a change. It gives us a postive outlook and makes
us capable of overcoming obstacles and sickness.
The Stress Response Curve

The relationship between stress and performance has been portrayed by the stress response curve
created by Nixon P. in 1979. In addition, pressure, an important stressor, has also a crucial
influence on an individual's response to stress.
 The curve shows that as the level of stress increases, the performance level also increases, to the
point of eustress, or healthy tension. Near the point of fatigue, an identified area called the
Comfort Zone indicates the range of stress levels that we can absolutely manage and facilitates
good performance levels.

As stress begins to be perceived as overwhelming or excessive, the person reaches a fatigue point
wherein the performance levels starts to decline. The ultimate end of overwhelming stress, called
burnout, can be exhaustion, ill-health or breakdown.

Positive Effects

As shown by the graph, performance levels increase when stress management is effective.
Stressors such as pressure and demands can facilitate better stress response and thus, higher
levels of performance. For instance, a basketball player tries to run faster, shoot a three-point shot
and succeeds in it because of the pressure he has obtained from the audience, the close scores and
the tough opponents.

Another example is the short but adequate deadline given to an employee, which motivates and
encourages her to work actively and efficiently on the project assigned to her. Yet another
instance is an approaching major examination which leads a college student to double time on
studying and reviewing of lessons.

Negative Effects

When stress is perceived as uncontrollable or unmanageable, the person begins to experience a

gradual to drastic decrease in performance levels, causing a decline in productivity and
enthusiasm to respond to the stress.

For instance, a very tight deadline is given to an office employee who has to take care of her four
children at home and a sick mother at the hospital. This overwhelming mix of situations, if not
managed carefully and totally, will result to a poor performance at work, bad relationships with
other members of the family, ill health, and burnout.

Pressure and Performance

Pressure, one of the significant life stressors, affects performance, as shown by the “Inverted-
U” graph below, which was created by Robert Yerkes and John Dodson in 1908.

The Inverted-U Model or the Yerkes-Dodson Law

Looking at the left side of the graph, you will notice that low pressure or low levels of stress results
to s person’s stress response as “boredom” or unchallenging. Even if the task is of great important, in
the absence of an appropriate level of pressure, attention and concentration to perform the task are
significantly low.

On the other hand, extreme levels of pressure don’t mean high performance levels; rather, it’s the
same as the result from low pressure – low performance levels due to “unhappiness” or negative
feelings due to overwhelming stress.
However, there’s a region called the “area of best performance”. In this region, moderate pressure
resulting to optimum stress or stress that is totally manageable leads to the highest level of
performance.

HOW TO TOLERATE THE STRESS

• Protect your health: notice and respond to stress warning signs

• Healthy lifestyle habits: good diet, adequate sleep, exercise
• Protect and use rest periods
• Focus attention on what you can control
• Avoid excessive overworking: separate work and home
• Keep up interests outside of work
• Limit setting: saying “no”
• Maintain sense of humor
• Develop and maintain supportive relationships

Optimism

Optimism is the ability to remain positive despite setbacks, and (as we know) setbacks are the
obstacles that inevitably litter the path of change.

• Positive Beliefs
– Associated with well being
– Cognitive reframing- cognitive reframing is a technique used to shift your mindset so
you're able to look at a situation, person, or relationship from a slightly different
perspective. Cognitive reframing is something that you can do at home or anytime
you experience distorted thinking.
– Positive thinking
– Refute the negative thinking
– Believe in a meaningful cause
• It is important to acknowledge relevant negative factors

6 Positive Relational Themes

– Expression and sharing of emotions

– Mutual respect leads to trust & autonomy
– Communication & collaboration facilitates relationships
– Ability to influence supervisor generates optimism
– Openness of emotions allows for empathy
– Inclusive workplace rules encourage expression of emotions
General Mood: Happiness

Not just that healthy people are happier. But happy people tend to be healthier and live longer.

Happiness on the job:-

 Job satisfaction
 Engaged with job
 Enjoy work

Business with happy workers:-

 Lower healthcare costs

 Greater customer loyalty
 Lower employee turnover
 Greater productivity
 Employee creativity

Applying emotional intelligence at workplace

EI has been associated with 25 major skill areas that can influence your career and improve your
workplace value. Some of them are:-

 Accurate self assessment

 Conscientiousness
 Self confidence
 Self control
 Adaptability
 Innovation
 Commitment

EI and performance in the business environment

How to handle stress/depression: causes, techniques, remedies:-

Stress management techniques are useful in coping with depression. Stress relief can also help
prevent depressive symptoms from developing. Some helpful stress management techniques include:

 getting enough sleep

 eating a healthy diet
 getting regular exercise
 taking occasional vacations or regular breaks from work
 finding a relaxing hobby, such as gardening or woodworking
 consuming less caffeine or alcohol
 doing breathing exercises to lower your heart rate

Causes:-

 getting into a fight with your spouse or significant other

 losing your job
 major natural disasters, such as earthquakes or tornadoes, that can damage your home or
destroy it altogether
 getting into a car accident, which can cause physical, emotional, and financial stress
 being robbed, mugged, or attacked

Remedies:-

1. Get more physical activity

2. Follow a healthy diet
3. Minimize phone use and screen time
4. Consider supplements
5. Practice self-care
6. Reduce your caffeine intake
7. Spend time with friends and family
8. Create boundaries and learn to say no
9. Learn to avoid procrastination
10. Take a yoga class
11. Practice mindfulness
12. Spend time in nature

Module V- How to accurately perceive emotions

Use emotions to facilitate thinking

This step involves is reasoning with emotions, using it to promote thinking and cognitive activity.
Emotions help prioritize what we pay attention and react to

We respond emotionally to things that garner our attention

Understanding emotional meanings

The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide variety of meanings.

If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer must interpret the cause of their anger and
that might mean.

Managing emotions

The ability to manage emotions effectively is a key part of emotional intelligence.

Regulating emotions, responding appropriately and responding to the emotions of others are all
important aspect of emotional management.

This below shown RULER approach to managing emotions was given by Marc Brackett at Yale
university.

Verbal and Non-verbal communication skills

Verbal Communication-

-Focus listening

-Asking questions

-Communicating with flexibility & authenticity

Non Verbal Communication-

-Body language

The Signals you send to others

Its not about what you say, its how you say it.

Social Management And Responsibility

Verbal Communication skills

 Words are powerful tools of communication.

 Word choice can easily influence the thoughts, attitudes, and behavior of the people listening
to us.
 Proper attention to the language of others can give us insight to what it is that they are really
saying, helping us to respond appropriately and effectively.

Focused listening

Focused listening is a strategy that guides students to listen closely to a text. It helps students listen
attentively with no distractions and to identify key points and ideas.

Benefits of focused learning

Apart from developing the student’s listening abilities, focused listening also improves their ability
to generate stimulating questions, to critically analyze their learning process and to reflect on what
they have learned, all of which contributes to positive learning in the classroom.

Asking questions

1. Ask! First of all, don’t be afraid to ask questions!

 shyness,
 fear of being hurt,
 fear of being perceived wrongly

can keep us from asking questions.

2. Ask open questions.

 Open questions are more effective(description) than closed questions (yes or no answer)

because they evoke thoughtful consideration of the subject and creative thinking.

3. Ask purposeful questions.

 we take note of our purpose in asking a question.

 Doing so can help us frame our questions
 better keep the questions relevant.

Communicating with flexibility and authenticity

1. Stick to the point.

 Not about saying as many things as you can in a given period of time.
 It is about sticking to what is relevant to the discussion
  getting your message across in the shortest
 But in most effective way possible.

2. Don’t be always too casual .

 Events that require you to come across as impressive may require the use of industry-specific
formal tone --- so adjust accordingly.

3. Emphasize key ideas. Stress the highlights of your communication.

4. Tailor-fit your communication to your audience. A powerful communication is one that connects
with one’s audience.

5. Connect. Power in communication is sometimes determined by the quality of your rapport with
others.

Non-verbal communication skills

Communication is not just about what comes out of our mouths.

What we don’t say --- our body language, voice intonation and use of silence ---- often sends a
louder message to other people than the words we say.

Unless we actively practice non-verbal communication skills, we can’t really be sure if we’re
actually sending the message that we want to send.

Body language

1. Eye contact

2. Facial expression

3. Posture

4. Specific movements

5. Corporal contact

The signals you send to others

1. Increase awareness of your body language

- try to get more information about what you communicate non verbally soi that you will know
what to change and what to retain.

2. Know how certain behaviours are typically interpreted.

- increasing awareness of what body language is often associated with what interpretation.

- can help a person avoid body language incompatible with the message they want to send.
 - deliberately practice the body language compatible with their message.

3. Practice! Practice! Practice!

- body language is a skill initially, using body language that is compatible with the message that we
want to communicate will feel unnatural.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it

• Tone of Voice: Voice intonation refers to the use of changing pitch in order to convey a
message.
• Stress and Emphasis: Changing which words or syllables you put emphasis on can change
its meaning.
• Pace and Rhythm: The speed of speech, as well as the appropriate use of pauses can change
the meaning of words spoken, and affect the clarity and effectiveness of a communication.
• Volume: How softly and how loudly you speak also matters in communication.
• Pronunciation and Enunciation. How well a message comes across is influenced by
pronunciation and enunciation.

Social Management and Responsibility

Social management refers to the Management of social enterprises and projects. These include
commercial enterprises with social, non-profit objectives, state institutions, foundations, children's
homes, day care centres, aid organizations, associations, as well as non-profit organizations.

Social management techniques

Social management techniques exist on two very distinct levels. First, in the corporate world, they
refer to the process of getting stakeholders, the community and media involved in hearing from
clients and the public. At the same time, social management is also a form of social manipulation
where companies use resources at their disposal (such as Facebook, newspaper ads or web pages) to
justify certain projects to the public that cause anxiety such as genetic engineering, nuclear power or
waste disposal.

Articulate your emotions using language

1. Have a light and positive tone opening- When initiating to talk about your feelings with
someone, start with something light as much as possible. You can greet them first if you have
just seen them.
2. Refrain from using confused-feeling descriptions- People wanted to be understood. That’s
why we express our emotions. We unload our burden and hope that others would care and
sympathize. However, at times, others can’t identify with us or understand how we feel due
to the way we articulate our emotions.
3. Use appropriate vocabulary to name your emotion- Emotions are complex, and putting them
into words may not be easy, especially when you do not have the words to do so. You may
find yourself labelling your emotion as just either “good” or bad.” or by using broad or vague
terms such as happy, sad, or angry.
4. Organize your thoughts to avoid explaining multiple feelings at once- We tend to describe
our emotions confusingly when it is too juggled. We may share our primary and secondary
emotions all at once. However, it is important to analyze your complicated emotions first and
 disentangle them from each other to describe them individually. Remember that primary
emotion is your initial feeling to a situation, while your secondary emotion is what you felt
after your primary emotion. Understanding the difference between these emotions will help
you and your conversation partner to have a fuller picture of what you are really feeling
inside.
5. Use “I” statements- I statement helps in making your message sound more sincere and
powerful. It shows that you understand and take ownership of your emotions. It is helpful
when you want to talk about your feelings of hurt or disappointment without sounding
accusatory. To use I statement, simply begin your sentence with the word “I,” followed by
the word “feel.”
6. Avoid substituting the expressions ‘I feel’ for ‘I think’- Another confusing description that
people do when they are trying to put their emotions into words is by saying what they think
instead of what they really feel. Often, people confuse thoughts with feelings. Hence it is
important to identify thoughts versus feelings. Thoughts are the beliefs and the facts that you
know, while feelings are your emotional state or physical sensations. Hence if you alternately
use “I feel” to express what you think, then you verbalized your thought but not your
emotions.
7. Avoid blanket statements- A blank statement is about generalizing. It attempts to cover all
situations by claiming that something applies to everything. One reason why people have
conflicts and end up having arguments when emotions are shared is because of this.
8. Reiterate your emotion using your new words- At certain points in the conversation, you may
need to mention your emotion again. When you do, use a different word but still showing
common traits of that emotion. This is connected and consistent with the third tip given above
on why you need to expand your emotional vocabulary.
9. Explain how you feel by answering why questions- When you have difficulty in explaining
the root cause of your emotions, it would be helpful to ask yourself why you feel in a certain
way. This will help you to figure out and analyze things.
10. Stick to facts when explaining the situation
11. Always stick to facts when describing prompting events, your current situation, and resulting
feelings. This will give the person you are talking to a vivid picture of the situation or
behavior that you are reacting to. This also prevents you from sounding like putting any
judgment but just presenting things factually. To do this, it helps to use “when you”
statements.
12. Provide details by answering your own formulated questions- If you are clueless about what
details to provide to your listener to make them better understand what you feel, try to put
yourself in their position. Think about the questions they might probably have for you. Figure
out answers to your questions and draw the details from it.
13. Mention that you don’t need “fixing”- When you share your emotions, you may find that
others will automatically think they need to say something to make you feel better.
14. Use simple language- Using flowery words may be useful in writing, but in speaking, it may
not be effective as people may see it as weird. Meanwhile, using complicated or sophisticated
words is also not advisable as others may not exactly pick up your point.
15. Practice- If you are not someone who is used to communicating your emotion, you may feel
uneasy doing it initially. Overcome this by engaging in conversations that would allow you to
express your emotions without feeling awkward. Practicing will make it easier for you to
express yourself better.
Disagreeing constructively

It's easier to agree than disagree. But we can learn a lot from conversations where we don't see eye to
eye — if we can listen and talk rationally, that is.

Unfortunately, many us either shy away completely from disagreements or lose it when things don't
go our way. These 5 tips can help keep disagreements constructive — whether you're talking to a
parent, friend, or anyone else:

o Don't make it personal. If you get upset, it can help to remember you're mad at the idea or
concept your parent (or friend, coach, coworker, etc.) is raising, not the person.
o Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs. If you've ever been on the receiving
end of someone's tirade or put-downs, you know how valuable using respectful language and
behavior can be. So instead of saying what you might be thinking ("That's a stupid idea!"), try:
"I don't agree, and here's why." Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm, or make derogatory
comments and you'll have a much better chance of getting your point across.
o Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or
need. Using "you" statements can sound argumentative. For example, telling your mom or dad,
"You always remind me about my chores on Wednesdays when you know I have a lot of
homework" has a very different tone from "I'm feeling pressured because I have a lot of
homework tonight. Can I do those chores tomorrow?"
o Listen to the other point of view. Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect
and understand the other person's perspective. That makes it more likely he or she will do the
same for you. When the other person is talking, try to stop yourself from thinking about why
you disagree or what you'll say next. Instead, focus on what's being said. When it's your turn
to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was
said. Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.
o Stay calm. This is the most important thing you can do to keep a conversation on track. Of
course, it's a huge challenge to stay calm and rational when you feel angry or passionate about
something — especially if the person you're talking to gets heated. You may need to be the
mature one who manages the conversation, even if the other person is a parent or someone who
should know better.