Name: Des Courtney Kate Y.

Baguinat

Evaluator: Kenneth Salidaga

Activity 1:

AREAS COMMENTS

TOPIC ● The writer's topic is very interesting and

strategic because she has personally been

there. As a result, she finds it easier to

gather important information for the text.

TARGET AUDIENCE ● The intended audience is general or it can

be to parents because it stated there that

Lolo warns the young child about playing

matches near the curtain. to keep

accidents from happening.

THEME ● The theme draws my attention to the story

and encourages me to accept the reality

that some events cannot always be solved

or helped by ourselves.

TONE / MOTIF ● The story's tone is emotional, and it

makes me feel exactly how the author

feels about the situation. because the

author understands what the feelings to be

burned are and how hurtful it is to lose

our love once.

 GENRE/TYPE ● The genre is tragedy, which is defined as

an event that causes significant suffering,

destruction, and distress, such as a serious

accident, which piques my interest in the

author's story, or it can be memoir.

POV ● The emphasis is on you in the first person.

It clearly describes her personal

experience with the incident. Which good

warning is provided to us to be heeded in

order to avoid an accident? And agree

with her that we should assist those in

need.

Activity 2

STRENGTH WEAKNESSES

● The story is about the author's personal ● I think there should be an introduction to

experience with an unfortunate event, and hook the readers because, from what I

how she felt differently when she saw read, her story is straightforward in its

people just watching the young child burn events.

and doing nothing to help.It persuades the ● She's using a Tagalog word, which is

reader to consider or ask questions about "tulong tulong," and I think the reader

why some people do not help those in might be confused as to why she's using

need, even when they are aware that Tagalog words.

 someone does. ● According to what I observed, the author

● The author wishes to convey to the did not offer specific solutions to avoid

readers the importance of assisting those the accident.

in need.It teaches us a good lesson to the

audience that we should listen to what the

elders say to us to prevent accidents.

● It was a stark reminder of the fragility of

life and the devastating impact of the

tragedy. It helps the reader be aware of

unexpected events.

Activity 3

Clarity of Ideas Appropriate Choice of Effectiveness of Combining of

Literary Elements Ideas and Elements

● The narrative appears to ● Onomatopoeia:There is ● It hurts when you get

be a personal narrative a sound of "criiiiiing," burned, stabbed, or

or essay about her "criiiiiing," "criiiiiing." strangled, but it hurts

unfortunate encounter The hallway of Tubigan differently when people

with a burning house. Elementary School was are just watching you

Because she was present filled with the echoing and not doing anything

at the event, it is sound of the fire alarm. to help.This line is very

obvious that she can ● Imagery:A hand effective because it

provide information to suddenly grabbed my allows the reader to feel

the text. hand and dragged me the author's emotions

● The author used simple outside of our about her story.

and easy-to-understand school.Sense of ● The hallway of Tubigan

words. touching is present. Elementary School was

● The ideas presented ● Simile:"Our school filled with the echoing

could have been more looks like a big house sound of the fire

straightforward and with a big balcony alarm.This sentence is

precise beside other average very effective because it

houses." The school was makes the story more

compared to a big house intense, which attracts

with a big balcony. the reader to continue

● Foreshadowing:Lolo has his/her reading.

warned her, the young

child is playing matches

near the curtain.but the

young child did not

listen, and their relative

downstairs smelled

something burning a

few minutes later.It

gives hints to the reader

that there is fire .

● Symbolism: fire

symbolize as biggest

problem
 Activity 4

Category 4 3 2 1 SCORE
20 points 15 points 10 points 5 points

Audience/ Presents details Presents details Presents few Supports no 15

purpose targeted at a suited to an details suited to purpose; is not
unique audience; audience; an audience; written for
successfully narrates the some ideas specific
narrates the events events of the conflict with audience.
of the story story. narration of
story.

Plot Presents events Presents Presents a Presents no 20

that create a clear sequence of confusing logical order
narrative events sequence of
events

Characters Successfully goes Goes in-depth Includes some Does not go in 15

in depth with description; description;cov depth with
description; covers all ers some description;
clearly covers all aspects of aspects of does not cover
aspects of character. character. all aspects of
character. character.

Point of View Writers from a Told from a Contains Uses an 15

consistent point of specific point inconsistent inconsistent
view. of view points of view point of view

Dialogue/ Contains details Contains details Contains Contains few or 20

Elaboration that provide and dialogue characters and no details to
insight to that develop setting; develop
character;contains characters. contains some characters or
dialogue that dialogue. setting; no
reveals characters dialogue
and furthers the provided.
plot.

Grammar Contains no errors Contains few Contains some Contains many 20

in grammar errors in errors in errors in
punctuation and grammar, grammar grammar
spelling. punctuation, punctuation punctuation and
and spelling. and spelling. spelling.

Use of Uses fresh word Uses interesting Uses clutches Uses uninspired 15
Language choice and tone to and fresh word and unoriginal word choices.
reveal story’s choices expressions.
setting and
character.

TOTAL: 120
Name: Kenneth Salidaga

Evaluator: Des Courtney Kate Y. Baguinat

Activity 1

AREAS COMMENTS

TOPIC The topic is interesting because it tackles

the idea of questioning one's life situation and

purpose and finding answers through faith and

personal growth.

TARGET AUDIENCE The story appears to target a general

audience interested in themes related to personal

growth and faith because it can help people make

self-reflection and realization about their beliefs in

God and their family situation

THEME The central theme of the story is the

importance of personal growth and faith in

overcoming challenges and finding purpose in

life. As a reader, I find the theme to be effectively

presented by the author because I share the same

experience, and that`s why the theme interests me.

TONE / MOTIF The tone of the story is reflective and

introspective, with motifs of struggle and

self-reflection. The author properly expressed his

idea and expressions because he used a casual and

 reflective tone that can easily determine his

thoughts and feelings.

GENRE / TYPE The story appears to be a personal essay or

memoir, incorporating element non-fiction writing

style. The author creatively writes his story by

using this type of genre that reminisces about his

experiences.

POV The point of view (POV) of the story is

first-person, as it is narrated by the protagonist,

Jesrael. I found it effective for the author to use

the first-person point of view because I can clearly

determine his thoughts and personal struggles

throughout the story.

Activity 2

STRENGTH WEAKNESSES

● The story is a personal narrative about the ● The story lacks depth and development in

protagonist's journey of overcoming character and plot.

adversity and learning important lessons ● The story oversimplifies complex issues,

about faith and life especially when I read such as poverty and addiction.

the last paragraph. ● The abrupt shift in tone from discussing

● It conveys an inspiring message of negative behavior to praising the

resilience and perseverance in the face of importance of faith may be jarring for
 struggles and difficult circumstances. some readers. The story uses clichés and

● It is a captivating story that draws the generalizations about faith and prayer.

reader in and keeps them engaged ● The story does not provide specific details

especially when in the first paragraph or solutions to the challenges faced by the

when the author said “ My mother told me protagonist and his family.

that we don't have to worry about our ● The story lacks specific details and may

future because God has already benefit from more descriptive language to

determined it, and we don't have to worry enhance the emotional impact of the

about our needs because God will events.

provide, so why am I still in this

situation? “. This sentence made me read

further through the story because I was

curious about what future God has

determined for him and why he is

struggling.

● It provides insight into the protagonist's

thoughts and feelings, allowing the reader

to gain a deeper understanding of their

journey. For example, the sentences “ I go

to church, but I'm still unsatisfied. “ and

“ And now, full of joy and gratitude, I

returned to God's presence…”

 Activity 3

Clarity of Ideas Appropriate Choice of Effectiveness of Combining of

Literary Elements Ideas and Elements

● The information ● Literary elements used ● As a reader, I was able

provided by the author in the story: to understand the flow

is accurate because it is ● Symbolism:. In the of the piece because the

based on his personal story, the cassava author used literary

experience. represents the family's elements that are

● The ideas are poverty and the difficult suitable for the chosen

chronologically circumstances they are topic and genre.

presented by starting facing— "We didn't ● The literary elements

with the main idea, have any money, so we enable me to understand

which is doubt in faith tried to eat cassava, and the story of piece

and then moved on to while we were eating, because they are used

the climax where he tears began to fall." implicitly by the author.

experienced addictions ● Imagery: The author ● The combination of

and lastly the resolution uses imagery to describe ideas and literary

where the author the protagonist's elements helped me, as

returned to God`s thoughts and a reader to be hooked

presence and continued emotions— "When I with the flow of the

his life. was in my room, lying story, because it created

● The ideas that were used on my bed, I had a an emotional connection

by the author made the series of unexpected and engagement with

readers understand the thoughts. How long the character's struggles,

 flow of the piece have I been serving God challenges, and growth.

because there are almost and my family? Why do The story uses various

no errors except: " In we still feel pain today? literary elements, such

my mind, the biggest Why aren't we as plot, characterization,

why are trials, improving and conflict, and resolution,

difficulties, and poor progressing in life right to create a compelling

living. “ which I think now? Why do I still feel narrative that draws the

the word “why” should frail?" reader in and keeps

be changed with the ● Foreshadowing: In the them invested in the

word "reasons” and the story, the protagonist's story. Additionally, the

second sentence of the experimentation with narrative's themes of

third paragraph should addiction foreshadows faith, family,

have quotation marks. the conflict with his perseverance, and

● The ideas presented are parents that will arise personal growth are

consistent in providing later in the story.---"My universal and resonate

the purpose of the piece friends became more with many readers,

because I was able to frequent, and they making the story more

determine the theme influenced me to do impactful and

throughout the whole wrong. I learned to meaningful.

text but it still lacks smoke and drink

dialogue to add more alcohol, and I

spice in the text. experimented with

addiction. My brother

felt tired as well, and his

friends influenced him

 to engage in vices."

● Irony: In the story, the

protagonist's parents use

Bible quotes to calm

their anger and

frustration towards their

children's disobedience.

"Instead of beating us,

our parents hugged us

and begged us to stop

disobeying, and it was

then that I realized I was

wrong."

● The chosen elements are

appropriate to the genre

of the story bcause the

author was able to

clearly convey his

message to the readers.

 Activity 4

Category 4 3 2 1 SCOR
20 points 15 points 10 points 5 points E

Audience/ Presents details Presents Presents few Supports no 15

purpose targeted at a unique details suited details suited to purpose; is not
audience; to an an audience; written for a
successfully audience; some ideas specific
narrates the events narrates the conflict with audience.
of the story events of the narration of the
story. story.

Plot Presents events that Presents Presents a Presents no 20

create a clear sequence of confusing logical order
narrative events sequence of
events

Characters Successfully goes Goes in-depth Includes some Does not go in 15

in depth with description; description;cove depth with
description; clearly covers all rs some aspects description;
covers all aspects aspects of of character. does not cover
of character. character. all aspects of
character.

Point of View Writers from a Told from a Contains Uses an 20

consistent point of specific point inconsistent inconsistent
view. of view points of view point of view

Dialogue/ Contains details Contains Contains Contains few or 10

Elaboration that provide insight details and characters and no details to
to dialogue that setting; contains develop
character;contains develop some dialogue. characters or
dialogue that characters. setting; no
reveals characters dialogue
and furthers the provided.
plot.

Grammar Contains no errors Contains few Contains some Contains many 15

in grammar, errors in errors in errors in
punctuation, or grammar, grammar, grammar,
spelling. punctuation, punctuation, and punctuation,
and spelling. spelling. and spelling.

Use of Uses fresh word Uses Uses clutches Uses uninspired 15

Language choice and tone to interesting and and unoriginal word choices.
reveal the story's fresh word expressions.
setting and choices
characters.

TOTAL: 110
Des Courtney Kate Y. Baguinat March 20, 2023
12- AMORSOLO CNF(Story Draft)

BYSTANDER

Criiiiiing... Criiiiiing... Criiiiiing

The hallway of Tubigan Elementary School was filled with the echoing sound of the fire alarm.

The loud noises of screams are heard in each classroom, but there is one particular voice of bawling I

heard outside. " Tulong! Tulong! " I was startled, and I instinctively ran out of the classroom to look

outside. As soon as I got out, I inhaled the thick, suffocating black smoke surrounding the hallway. I was

anxious and nervous, and stood there for seconds looking unconscious. A hand suddenly grabbed my

hand and dragged me outside of our school. I can't even see who that is, but I know it's my friend Josh.

When we got out through the unguarded gate with other children, I immediately saw a small burning

house surrounded by a mountain of people. I am so intrigued by what is happening, but then I saw a

familiar person standing alone in the middle of the crowd. It was Lolo. I never knew his name, but he was

our friend, and we always passed by his old, tiny house an inch away from our school.

Barangay Tubigan is such a small place, so our school looks like a big house with a big balcony

beside other average houses. Lolo has a granddaughter, and she was a lively child until one day that

accident happened. While I was standing in front of their burning house, I heard his relative whisper to

the police what had happened. Although Lolo has warned her, the young child is playing matches near the

curtain. She never listened, and their relative downstairs smelled something burning a few minutes later.

He was shocked when he saw the second floor being engulfed by flames without any holes to get out.

Lolo, sitting downstairs, was frightened, and his relative dragged him outside as he watched his house

burn. He had no idea that his granddaughter was upstairs, trapped in a room full of flames and unable to

speak because of fear. Before a minute had passed, they heard a scream inside the house asking for help.

A high-pitched voice echoed throughout the street until the voice slowly faded out and became weak and
hoarse. People simply watch the child scream while standing motionless because they believe they are

powerless to intervene, so I am.

An hour had passed, and the fire was almost put out. A fireman, wearing his dirty uniform,

came out of the house while carrying something in his hands. No, it was not something but someone. A

dark, unidentifiable person without life was being carried to the tricycle. A young, anguished-looking

woman approached the burned body and screamed like she was also burned. The woman's cries echoed

through the deserted street as she collapsed to the ground in tears. The onlookers stood still, watching in

horror as the tragic scene unfolded before them. As a kid, I felt empty after that, but I understood her pain.

The woman's agony was palpable, and I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of empathy for her. It was a

stark reminder of the fragility of life and the devastating impact of the tragedy.

It hurts when you get burned, stabbed, or strangled, but it hurts differently when people are just

watching you and not doing anything to help. The word "help" was never enough and will never be

enough because everything will be useless when you face a bystander.

May her soul rest in peace.

Kenneth E. Salidaga 12- AMORSOLO

WHY?

Have you ever wondered why you seem to be stagnating in your life? Are you still playing at a

beginner's level? That is the question I am considering. My mother told me that we don't have to worry

about our future because God has already determined it, and we don't have to worry about our needs

because God will provide, so why am I still in this situation? Were there a lot of issues? In my mind, the

biggest why are trials, difficulties, and poor living.

I'm Jesrael, from Barangay Pilak, and I'm as shy as my mother. We live a simple, peaceful existence.

My family is all Christian; my father is the church song leader, and my younger brother and I are church

musicians. We play various instruments in church, like our father, and my father also influenced me to

play basketball, so I enjoy playing basketball as well. And it was thanks to my father that I gradually

overcame my shyness and gained confidence.

When I was in my room, lying on my bed, I had a series of unexpected thoughts. How long have I

been serving God and my family? Why do we still feel pain today? Why aren't we improving and

progressing in life right now? Why do I still feel frail? I go to church, but I'm still unsatisfied. I was tired

of going to church and playing instruments at this point. My friends became more frequent, and they

influenced me to do wrong. I learned to smoke and drink alcohol, and I experimented with addiction. My

brother felt tired as well, and his friends influenced him to engage in vices. We became stubborn and

resisted my parents' orders, and our musicianship suffered as a result, as did our attendance at church. We

were struggling more and more these days, and our lives became chaotic as a result of our stubbornness.

My mother and father were distressed. I was unable to continue my education, and our situation became

even more difficult when my father lost his job. We didn't have any money, so we tried to eat cassava, and

while we were eating, tears began to fall. I felt terrible for my father, mother, and siblings. When my

parents discovered that my brother and I were engaging in illegal activities, they became enraged. Even
though they were enraged, they still forced us to be calm in our speech by quoting the Bible. Instead of

beating us, our parents hugged us and begged us to stop disobeying, and it was then that I realized I was

wrong. And as my life changed, so, too, did my brother's.

I thanked the Lord for my mistakes and failures because they taught me valuable lessons. I pray to

God to be strong, and God gives me trials to strengthen me; I pray to God for wisdom, and God gives me

problems to solve; I pray to God for faith, and God gives me temptations to test my faith; and then the

most important question in my mind, "Why?" is answered. And now, full of joy and gratitude, I returned

to God's presence, and I continued my studies, as did my older brother, who also pursued his life goal.