Performance Tasks –

st
Per Dev 1 Quarter
Owen Dane L. Rosco
12 STEM – Hadji Omar
Journal reflection from MY BANNER
The banner I made wasn’t really a banner in conventional standards but more like a
drawing or the cliché sunset art. Since banner - for me, signifies something that represents
a particular person, group, or ideology. Hence, my banner embodies my desire or a fantasy
of what I want to see every day at the end of gruesome work or school. It exemplifies that
whatever strength, weakness, or struggle that I have, I will forever want the embrace of the
sun setting as I cradle to sleep. It makes it look like I am in company every time I close my
eyes, and it makes me feel at ease. And finally with enough rest, it gives me courage and
more than enough energy to improve better than perfect.
Journal Reflection from THE GOLDEN CIRCLE
My golden circle, wasn’t a golden at all, and even my circle isn’t a complete circle.
Also the shapes are merging instead of being as one and I think it shows my perspective on
how things happen. They are not one, encompassing the whole process, but more like, the
“determining”, “planning”, and “action” lives in their own set of space but not too far that
they are not connected or too near that they influence each other. Just the right distance for
the perfect transition for each stage. Dealing with the three, all at once can be
overwhelming and I might do more harm than good, at least that’s how I see it. And I think
it also shows how I deal with things, inside and out. Quite methodical if you ask me, dealing
with things one at a time, doing the best at each stage while maintaining a good vision of
the whole plan and process.
Journal Reflection
“What Kind of Adolescent Am I?”
We Did, What We Needed to Survive
Since I was ten years old, I have always hated babies. They are obnoxious, exigent,
and frail. And when you're tasked with holding one, it feels like the future of humanity is
seated upon your shoulders. One misstep and everything could crumble. But as I transcend
into adolescents, maybe it's not directly the babies that I hate, but the idea that these fragile
little creatures make up a large proportion of humanity's hope and fate. And the only
reason I despise them, is that they remind me of myself – vulnerable but responsible for the
future.
The only thing worse than being a mistake child is somehow not being called one. I
was six years old when I put two and two together and realized my parents' miscalculation.
And yet when I'm around, it feels like they're walking on eggshells trying to avoid the
elephant in the room. There was no sign of hostility in them, but it felt lonely. Since I was
the first, I never really had any cousin my age to talk to, only adults and adults. And maybe
that's where my principles and beliefs stemmed from, "Wouldn’t it be pathetic if a mistake
made more mistakes?" Since then, my stoic and bland seriousness replaced my happy-go-
lucky side.
Being surrounded by many adults gave me a brief insight into the adult world. It
boils down to responsibilities and consequences. Despite that, I wasn't necessarily mature
all the time – and I am more than aware of it. Although I was deeply analytical, curious, and
sharp, I never understood why people talk about questionable choices of other people
behind their backs. So when I discovered the internet, it felt like home. I was able to ask
anything I wanted.
The internet introduced me to a lot of people. And although it was a one-way
conversation, for the first time, I wasn't lonely. The drawback is that I started to isolate
myself. I didn't see the point of social interaction, and it only got worse during the
pandemic. I became socially awkward, and the internet introduced me to unpopular
concepts for traditional people, such as atheism and existentialism. And at some point, I
imagined planning and doing a genocide.
But then, they are only notions. And thoughts and actions are separate. They are
different and distinct. Everybody has evil thoughts, and people don't realize that bottling
these thoughts, and rejecting them, is far more destructive than accepting them and not
doing them. After a long time, if they remained bottled, at some point, we might do it. And
instead of controlling these thoughts – they are controlling us.
As I reflect, I realize that my qualities are bland at best and somewhat monotonous
by traditional standards. But that's because it was the best tool I needed to use to survive in
my past environment. And the title of being a mistake child is now trivial to me. The past is
almost irrelevant, and the only thing that matters, is now – the present. Now that I'm
entering a new domain, I must alter and improve myself if I want to achieve greatness. And
although everyone always has something to say, I always remind myself of this one quote
by Thomas Harris in Hannibal, "The worm that destroys you is the temptation to agree with
your critics, to get their approval."