‫בס"ד‬

‫הרחבה מבוסס על פירושי רש"י ורמב"ן‬

‫ וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬... ‫ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך‬
ִ ‫ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת‬
Explanation (Based on Rashi and Ramban) Torah’s Words ‫ויקרא פרק יט‬

When someone does something displeasing or upsetting to you, don’t bottle it up inside ‫ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת‬
/ don’t hate them in your HEART. ‫ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך‬
ִ
Ramban: Hatred generally prefers to conceal itself (per Mishlei 26:24). Resist that
impulse. Be frank and find a way to tell your friend about your issue. Don’t bury it deep
inside, and pretend that you haven’t been wronged. What should you do instead…?
(But/Rather) Reprove your fellow. ַ‫ה ֹוכֵחַ ּתוֹכִ יח‬
Show them what they did wrong. Ask them, ‘why did you do this to me’? ‫יתָך‬
ֶ ‫אֶ ת עֲ ִמ‬
‫פסוק יז‬
Don’t bear a sin because of him, to conceal your hatred of him in your heart and not ‫וְׂ ֹלא ִת ָשא עָ ָליו‬
express your issue. Don’t deny him the opportunity to explain/reconcile. ‫חֵ ְׂטא‬
Alternatively, don’t conceal hatred and freeze him as sinner in your eyes since by
reproving him he might explain himself or make amends.
Rashi explains that you should not become a sinner yourself by exposing, in an
embarrassing way i.e. publicly, the mistake you perceived they made; do it in a way
that’s constructive, not hurtful. If you keep the hatred inside and think you can handle it
internally, you’re wrong, because hatred finds a way to reveal itself…How is it revealed?

Don’t take revenge and don’t bear a grudge. ‫ֹלא ִתקֹם וְׂ ֹלא ִת ֹטר‬
After the accused justifies himself or acknowledges his wrongdoing, your feelings of ‫אֶ ת בְׂ נֵי עַ מֶ ך‬
hatred will hopefully subside, but you may still remember the misdeed; endeavor to
completely erase the memory of your brother’s misdeed from your heart.

Rashi differentiates between revenge-taking and grudge-holding:

Revenge / ‫ֹלא ִתקֹם‬ Grudge / ‫וְׂ ֹלא ִתטֹר‬

“I wanted to borrow your “You wouldn’t let me borrow your ax. Tomorrow,
sickle and you said ‘no’. The when you need to borrow my sickle, I’m going to say
next time you ask to borrow ‘sure, no problem!’ I’m not the sort of person – a
my ax, I will refuse, just as person like you – who doesn’t lend things.”
you did to me.” I pretend to take the high road by not acting
vengefully, but the whole time I’m guarding and
nurturing* this grudge and enmity in my heart.
*The word ‫ ִתטֹר‬means to “protect” or “nurture.” – ‘The feelings I’ve been harboring are
fueled by silent, secretive, guarded hatred. I’ll still ‘do the right thing’ and lend things
when asked, but my existence and proper actions are tainted with bitterness.’
Bearing a grudge is also likely to preclude being proactive and offering aid – ‘I won’t ‫פסוק יח‬
withhold good if asked, but I also won’t actively desire or generate good things for
you’ -- this runs utterly counter to the mitzvah of ‫וְׂ ָאהַ ְׂב ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬, explained below…

The Torah is saying that hatred always comes out. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you
can hide it forever. It will either erupt overtly in the form of revenge, or it will ooze out
subtly in the form of phony civility as the grudge continues to fester.

Instead of clinging to bad feelings, love things that benefit your friend, the same as ‫וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬
what you love for yourself. Love the increase of goodness for him, the same as you '‫אֲ נִ י ה‬
strive to obtain for yourself. Place no limits on that love. Seek his benefit in every aspect
of life. (Ramban maintains it’s impossible to love someone else to the same degree he that loves himself.)

Love your neighbor as yourself, in its context, is part of an antidote: Sometimes people
act badly; the Torah provides a guide for reconciliation and love:
• I can’t hate internally without externally verbalizing the case for that hatred.
• Love is achieved by working through problems; relationships are born by turning
conflict into a means of finding resolutions, to forge a stronger bond going forward,
built on genuine affection and desiring good things for my fellow human as I do
for myself.
Prepared BS”D by Binyamin Casper
 ‫בס"ד‬
‫ וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמ ֹוָך‬... ‫ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך‬
ִ ‫ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת‬
Explanation Torah’s Words ‫ויקרא פרק יט‬

When someone does something displeasing or upsetting to you, ‫ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך‬
ִ ‫ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת‬
don’t bottle it up inside / don’t hate them in your HEART.

(But/Rather) Reprove your fellow. ַ‫ה ֹוכֵחַ ּתוֹכִ יח‬

Show them what they did wrong. Ask them, ‘why did you do this ‫יתָך‬
ֶ ‫אֶ ת עֲ ִמ‬
to me’?
‫פסוק יז‬
Don’t bear a sin because of him, to conceal your hatred of him in ‫וְׂ ֹלא ִת ָשא עָ לָיו חֵ ְׂטא‬
your heart and not express your issue. Don’t deny him the
opportunity to explain/reconcile.

If you don’t allow for this possibility, you’ll be susceptible to

revenge and resentment…

Don’t take revenge and don’t bear a grudge. ‫ֹלא ִתקֹם וְׂ ֹלא ִתטֹר‬
‫אֶ ת בְׂ נֵי עַ מֶ ך‬
Endeavor to completely erase the memory of the misdeed from
your heart. Otherwise, you may soon want to (a) take revenge,
or (b) you’ll live with a grudge that will fester and be damaging
to yourself and make you bitter.

Bearing a grudge also precludes being proactive and offering aid

to improve someone’s life – ‘I won’t withhold good if asked, but
I also won’t actively desire or generate good things for you’ - ‫פסוק יח‬
- this runs utterly counter to the mitzvah of ‫… וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬

Instead of clinging to bad feelings, love things that benefit ‫וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬
your friend, the same as what you love for yourself. Love the '‫אֲ נִ י ה‬
increase of goodness for your friend, the same as you strive to
obtain for yourself. Place no limits on that love. Seek his benefit
in every aspect of life.

People act badly; the Torah provides a guide for reconciliation and love:
• I can’t harbor hate internally without externally formulating and verbalizing
the case for that hatred, in the hopes of conflict resolution.
• Love is achieved by working through problems; relationships are born by
turning conflict into a means of finding reconciliation, to forge a stronger
bond going forward, that is built on genuine affection and desiring good
things for my fellow human as I do for myself.

‫וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך‬

Prepared BS”D by Binyamin Casper