Ava Nociforo

Professor Jan Babcock

English 138T

January 26, 2023

This I Believe: I Believe in the Red Cardinal
The stress of the new semester sinks in as I sit in Paterno Library on January 10, trying to
fend off the cruel claws of stress. Suddenly, a small, red blur catches my attention, and my stress
instantly evaporates into the air.
We all have a guardian angel that watches over us, protects us, and comforts us in our
struggles; mine is a red cardinal.
In sixth grade, I received the worst news any twelve-year-old could hear:
“Nana has stage four Ovarian Cancer.”
I was in the car when I heard the news. When those sinister words pierced through the
speaker, I felt my entire body eviscerate and collapse under its weight. My Nana—the woman
who helped raise me, played Scuba with me, and took me to the park—had cancer. I was
incredulous, pinching myself to awake from the nightmare I couldn’t awake from.
Throughout middle school, weekends were dedicated to Nana. On Fridays, my mom and
I would visit my Nana after work, on Saturdays, we would take my Nana to Ross (her favorite
store), and on Sundays, my entire family would come together for our traditional two o’clock
Italian dinner. But as the chemotherapy chipped away at my Nana, causing her brown hair to turn
grey and her body to weaken, our time together felt like it was slipping away.
The summer of 2018—two years after her diagnosis—was the worst summer of my life.
That summer, I lost my best friend. I was angry, furious at cancer for stripping me of my
grandmother. Thanks to cancer, she wouldn’t be there for my birthdays, musicals, or high school
graduation. I felt alone and heartbroken. On that cruel, August day, a piece of me died with
Nana, but I was forced to live through the dark aftermath.
At Nana’s funeral, my mom told me a story about the red cardinal—the spiritual guide of
Earth; if you spot a red cardinal, it’s a sign that a loved one from Heaven is watching over you, a
sign that you will overcome challenges even on the dimmest of days. Well, since my Nana’s
death, my family and I have seen a myriad of red cardinals—during family gatherings, on family
vacations, and even just a few days before my graduation. The story of the cardinal is real, and I
feel comforted whenever I see one nearby.
And so, as I looked out the window in Paterno Library, I knew exactly what that red blur
was—it was my Nana telling me that that this stress is only temporary, and this challenge would
soon be overcome. Although my Nana is not physically with me, the red cardinal reminds me
that she will always be there in spirit, and she will be with me when I need her most. Now I
know that I will never be alone, for my guardian angel, my Nana, is just one flap away.
I believe in the red cardinal.