a OUT OF GAS "GROUPER" (Chauncey) MORRIS age 17, son of Senator “McvST” (ipso) ANGELEEDS—age 17, daughter of rck ON LOVERS LEAP singer Saow Angeleeds Tine ACT ONE ‘Tae present [Night of commencement for senior clas of White Oaks Acad- Beer lights dm, we te promesion of Bape Poin; ‘enn, an exclusive boarding ecool for student with “behaviors cowed athnglreat ana rsng abo the tar of Crass oe ‘By. paring Barca ath cs ee prc cr fom “dingo clase oe ge Plas am ir pla, pl, sib Eagle Point, overlooking the New Bagland tw of Grosset Bay Pee ney ae ale “Dencing With Mysal/™ and, if x 8 tt ein fl, the sound of be car coming cor Lights up real oat wp. scien cone top down: its aright eli bed ceed with hands of baer ticker lade Sands. May roc grsps we init as fa cbundance of Brace Springitensckers alg with cbr, Suk as Mute The Waal, "Humpty Duma Was Pare,” Tsim For Sal Animal," A Hide Gir fier is muna nthe cas back at panel. The ‘a ene r dierGroper Mors and Mit grads ‘Mp iee skng lenin 17 ye old with idly il ‘ord raed lr. Grose, the some ag, as sar htt Coed er a ring fom iif ear Bol tenga tio gous ene te fot ard gation cas. ‘Mt and Geapr ae gig wth he sag, dacg with te “ont Grr tos orth indie ond on he ed GROUPER. (Holing a tr mins alec, thm coating) HEY. MOON! Somebody screwed upwe grated. (Tims Mist) Give me your hat, Myst MYST. Give me your body, Grouper. (Grouper gros the hat *Sce Special Note on copyright page 5sors af ere as hpi ore srt ci ls, bl ‘argon ) Care, yournmbole GROUPER. (elig Po rtuion caps end lig te a with thon) Leal espon=( Ble ie thsi thn do of Be {Gf ) Rac oer Mota Ronde, Taser MYST Towards to unnepecsing oges= GROUPER. Two joggers ced into fur meaty hlves—3, 2 (Grape waa op tw.) MYST. Dont GROUPER. Why aot? INOYST {want my ale. (Gos ha) Mes Petey wa ight, Our faduacion cad make a dierence © te work GROUPER. (Silman nps sae wilt shad gle cing tat tnd) Graduate NIVST (Dor there) Cendant (Th jie ends gente ati: Moo maa bps chen paced ok oni su gi eb) ANGE (et no tiara of rai) GROUPER Wha ene? NIVST. My other. (Se als jt fom te dian) GROUPER. How could you ll MYST. Allo ber song fave that Tm ast coming” beat. 1 ‘anvil shut her fb the Be word. Hany wan that oy inal ie GROUPER. (Pridd pass) Real We? Have you been fgg mower itt me? MYST. Grouper, [wantny gradation present. You promise GROUPER. (Under ant) Are yu going oe fat OF al wore W seme lig? (Aap ole Fao bm) Won al MYST. No wonder fs wo ard ge igh, Fata? (Jt me) bts tat) GROUPER. Fines MYST. Contac. GROUPER: Conta. (Bhim ta ar hr Shel The tn cach thy tone) AST. She GROUPER. We can always deve back onthe hubcaps MIYST. You don't have a spare? GROUPER. You low Idan! We let down Krge Hil 6 MYST. Thats ight GROUPER: Good ire, to. I rely tok 0 MYST. (Hg our him) Now Bow about my gration present GROUPER. 1 got he newpaper we sent for fom Seaside Highs oday— MYST. Ts that why you won’ sep with me, Grouper? GROUPER. (izuring fr) There ace all hinds of jobs down thers for she simmer” We cold wer the Beara ore tices, and theresa million restaurants MYST. Youre not holding out fr another vingin, are you? GROUPER. (Storrat ir} ds want to get adn ths Hesne MYST. Gaddam ight Beside, youd with someon dumb as you ar abou i he Gr tse wil mack. Youll be ty" tng ehard Wo lok porarapiie ou won't fel thing. Bele GROUPER. Youre te exper ‘MYST, Dann righ. And { now you. Youll wane somebody ‘no wil spend more dine talking about ie alterwards han do GROUPER. Butkhit MYST. No shit. Do yourself «favor. If you decide on some: oy ele, ell me i a conch. Well sce she hora seme of omar. GROUPER. So what aboot us going to Semide for the summer? MIST. (Sine) How do I know if wee even sexually com pale GROUPER. What wi ell bese MYST. Nebady wil be there! GROUPER, That’ righ. Empey beaches, empoy beardwalks “ie the et. MYST. A ghow town! GROUPER, Yeah. Guaranteed be the most romante time poster ever had Te me AEYST.T don't think ghosts are romantic. (GROUPER. To, Jose think of. You and Terising up othe Stone Pony in Aabary Paar mete oo aly ice ing Myst. ice ristitwo? GROUPER. Well have to et, ight? So well be inthe Stone isthe shore inthe winter 7Pony, nobody there, except you, me, the bartender and Bruce Springmeen. And Tilsay "Brace MYST. “Vou know that Hi you and Clarence do on ‘Bora In The USA, GROUPER “Dancing In The Dark? MYST. “Ishink you could goose it up with alittle more brass” GROUPER. And Tl turn fo you and ay, "Myst MYST. "Did you ever deep mth Broce Springsteen?” (They ss) GROUPER. So what about Seaside? i's seventy three degrees down there, sun expected all weekend and the blueish ae rane ‘lng. jt stars a him.) I called che coasguard MYST. (Boasze) Put the radio on. No, never mind—God ‘enows who theyre paying. Grouper, I want t ak you a ques tion. And T ant you to be hanes GROUPER. Til se what I can do. MIYST- Dont you want to sleep with me? GROUPER. Ofcourse Ido! But Toran it to he perfect MYST. I il be. Tabeays am GROUPER. We can do t onthe beach, under the full moon — MYST. And get sand pounded up my as? No way. Or ese I get the op GROUPER. 1 just want ro make sute ie historic, that’ al ‘MYST. Ithas o be. Because yout one ofa kind, and Tm one ofa kind GROUPER, That makes two ofa kind MYST. They could never serew up genes this way agnin— GROUPER Tow that MYST. Do you? Do you think you could ever ind somebody Tike me again? GROUPER. De you think you could Find somebody like re? (MYST. Thats what mean whe eee would drisk milabakes out of ay Adcidar— GROUPER. 4fr you ran the mile. MYST. Eescly GROUPER. Who ese would wear underwear on her head in CCalcalus and tll Gronk she hed to ‘cause the ad her period? MYST. Who else would crash the prom dressed lke Bonnie and Clyde and holdup the faculty table? " GROUPER. (Pu) Your dea (MYST. But you found the machine gun that worked GROUPER.’ guess is a good thing your mom gives White aks alc of money MYST. Ti ey. GROUPER. We sudied your mother in dass MYST. Child Prychelogy? GROUPER. Arena Music. Peskows course, Prehistoric Pop. MYST. Thats funny; never knew my Pop, GROUPER. You ray dont know who your father i? MYST. [old you thst. GROUPER. No shit? ‘MYST. Plenty. But ifs the truth, 00 GROUPER. Ie beterbe. I graduation night. Yow have to be ‘uth you're an adult now. (Both adit sna expen) MYST. Mr- Moers Snow told me my emg wat in the Blender (on the tour of67; a0 that tears Dad was someone from LAs Denver, Merico City, New Yo GROUPER. Wow. I wish Ida! “MYST. What war really impressive wa he way my mom was rebate et GROUPER. Naming you *Mynery”? MYST. Tha’s nothing. Theres no limit to her bad tase. She ‘an a contest in Rolling Stone, "Find Her Father.” and ahd do benefit concert for your schol or something. People were hie ing derectives, bringing islands of guys to hes, tut she wae never sure who twas herself. After atl, everybody pane up GROUPER. Needle in the haystack, uk? MYST. The Disappearing Dick of Mexico City, I think GROUPER. Why Messen Gay? MYST. I get homeick wien I eat tacos GROUPER. You want to vee my gradation present from (Capicol HL? (Tare pon and pont fom th ce compart mm) MYST. Super. Couldnt get much more original shan that, ould they? GROUPER, (Ccens the mp of te px) Look. Beter than (Cracker Jacks