I was an insecure person. I started being insecure when I was in my sixth grade.

Most of my
classmates are geniuses and smarts. Every time there’s an oral, some of my classmates were
answering but not me. I also wanted to join some competition but I can’t say it. I wanted my
parents to be proud of me. Within me, I was crying. I wanted also to be a smart person but I
just couldn’t. Some people believed that being a left-handed person was special and I was one
of them. I believed it because some people I know who is also left-handed were special. They
were a talented person. They can draw beautifully, dance, sing, act or anything. But I can’t draw
properly, dance, act, I am not creative, etc. I was asking myself “what’s so special about me?”.
Throughout the years, I was waiting to see if I am a special. But I stopped waiting because I am
just hurting myself. I was always on the top honor since my 9th grade but I think I don’t deserve
it. I think someone deserved it because I saw how talented they are than I. There were times
that I was crying silently every time I was having a hard time. Thinking why I am like this, can’t I
become like them, can’t I also do those. I was doing everything I can to the point that I was
already exhausting myself.

My parents were not pressuring me about my grades. As long as it was not fail then its ok with
them but its me who’s problem. I wanted them to be proud of me just like how proud they are
about my sister (future engineer). I wanted to be successful through my own talent.
I wanted something that I really own. Something that I didn’t just borrow the talent. Something
that will last longer. Something talent that I will be proud of. I noticed that I am just good at
memorizing that’s why in every exams, I got always the higher scores. I was not satisfied with
just memorizing.

I can’t do things alone maybe because my sister always got my back. I got someone who I can
rely on but my sister now has a dorm.
I am working towards overcoming my weakness. I don’t want it to affect me completely.