Ranting Sesh

Why can’t I get validation from my parents? Am I that bad in looks? Am I that
ugly? Or is it because of my colour?
I know I am fat and for my parents if you are fat, you can’t be good looking. I
am trying but I love food I just can’t resist myself. But it doesn’t mean you will
say I am not good looking because of that.
You didn’t let me choose my career, I am doing what you guys are suggesting,
forcing myself to study this diploma. Now I am in such a situation that I don’t
have any option rather than doing btech in mechanical engineering. I am BAD
IN MATHS but still studying mechanical engineering. I always get so nervous
thinking how will I handle the company. I don’t want to disappoint my parents
but at the same time I am scared as fuck that what if something wrong
happens, what if I will disappoint my parents.
I chit chatted with my friends only today but my mom said I am doing the
whole time after I came home, and I can’t even take stand because papa will
obviously side with mama because whatever she says that’s correct.
They say I don’t care about them, ha that’s funny because when I am in hostel,
I miss them so much but I don’t say because they might get weak but they
don’t understand that.

I have so much fun

 Another writer breakdown

Omg idk what’s happening with me. I just want every single person from kiit
polytechnic out of my lifeeee
Me and my parents were having dinner and papa asked why aren’t you
interested going to college now that we aren’t going to Shillong and I casually
said that “I am not interested because its hot and all” but mumma said “ik
exactly why she is not going it’s because she’s over with Bhubaneswar and the
college” which is true and I was about to cry but I controlled and I said nothing
she also said “it’s our fault that we overprotected you that you don’t see bad in
people and you are too innocent and people just fool you give you heartbreaks
every time and use you” AGAIN IT IS TRUE and rn I am distancing (trying) from
everyone cause I am unable to trust and its because whatever happened with
sel. Ykw I literally thought her as a sister yk like sibling that I never had, the one
with whom I can share anything without fear of judging. But now its gone and
ik somewhere it’s gone for good because “jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai”
And tbvh I don’t trust anyone in kp, I just act that I am very happy and I love
my KIIT friends but deep down I don’t…. not even sarita, dibya or sofia
And also, I act because I hate being alone, I am not a girl who likes staying
alone, having no friends or anything. I AM NOT THAT
I just want this diploma to get over as soon as possible so that I won’t be
talking or meeting them much and start a new chapter.