Lyceum of the Philippines University – Cavite Research Journal SHS Edition| Volume I, No.

I | April 2019
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Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Experiences, Strategies & Coping mechanisms of individuals who suffered break ups
Reyes,Vien Chisler M, Robles, Avin Nicolo R., Sigue,John Angelo S., Umali,Mary
International School, Lyceum of the Philippines University Cavite
Vien.reyes@lpunetwork.edu.ph, Mary.umali@lpunetwork.edu.ph, Avin.robles@lpunetwork.edu.ph,
John.sigue@lpunetwork.edu.ph,

INTRODUCTION
Love and Education are important for students
and freshmen alike, especially to their loved ones,
but there are times that some couples hardly last
till the end, resulting in termination of a
relationship called break-up. The term break-up
means an abrupt event for two people that stopped
caring for each other. The researchers will tackle
on the problems of this research. The objectives
are to discover the causes of break-ups and
participants who were involved in long-term
relationships. May survey certain individuals who
broke up to two or more years. Determine the
participant’s decisions and thoughts on what they
have to say before leading to relationship
termination. How those effects affect their
socialization aspects and relationship awareness
towards others. And explore what are the
strategies, techniques and coping mechanisms
triggered to cope with the loss of their other half.
[1] Goldsmith, B, Ph.D. (2018) the study states
that the primary reasons why breakups happen are
commonly caused by 1.) Bad behavior, 2.)
Infidelity, 3.) Toxicity, and 4.) Lack of Support to
the said individual and many more. Other problems
too particularly to the opposite sex. [2] Kelley
Quirk, et al. (2015). The group observed that
couples that are uncertain to each other may find
alternatives that may represent an ongoing state of
conflicted thoughts and worrying about the future
of the couple’s relationship. Includes monitoring of
other potential partners that shares similar values
and interests. Participants are more likely to resort
to alternative monitoring to other potential
candidates and most likely to terminate the
relationship over the course of 3 months.
Reactions to a relationship breakup can have
negative effects on an individual’s life. [3] Lauren
Howe (2016). After couple’s breakup, individuals
may include healthy effects like a reflection of
their past relationship and will likely improve
when pursuing another relationship. When people
are in close relationships, souls intertwined and
becoming as one. The loss of a romantic partner is
a loss of the self. Individuals who grew closer with
their partner may inflict a huge blow to their self
after a breakup. Exposing their true selves if
terminating a relationship at a wrong time. [4]
Erica B. Slotter et al. (2009) approved the
hypothesis when the group’s research observed that
breakups predict a change in the structure of an
individuals’ self-concepts. Specifically, partners’
selves are intertwined, and their self-concepts
become blurred. Romantic Breakups in young
adults include a variety of negative mental health
issues, such as Major Depressive Disorder. The end
of a romantic relationship is distressing to
individuals because of the impact of the breakup
on their self-concept. The associated
interdependence is disrupted, leaving individuals to
erase any shared or unshared views with their ex-
partner. [5] Tara Marshall et al. (2013).
Associations of anxiety attachment and personal
growth avoidance following relationship
dissolution. Studies revealed that anxiety is
associated with personal growth through breakup
distress and avoidance is associated with lower
personal growth which grows through inhibited
personal distress. Anxious individuals may tend to
rebound a new partner due to enhanced reflection
and brooding of self. [6] Galena K. Rhoades, et al.
(2011). Relationship breakups from unmarried
couples could cause distress from the individuals
coping through it. Stated in this study are there are
beneficial and negative effects on the breakups.

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 Lyceum of the Philippines University – Cavite Research Journal SHS Edition| Volume I, No. I | April 2019
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The beneficial side is a breath of fresh air and a
start of a new page in life. The negative side
depends on the individual’s intake on it, the
individual could take a hard time coping with it
due to feeling of attachment and comfort that they
have to let go sooner or later. The situation of
being together longer, planning a future together or
already having children has a heavier impact on
both the individuals because of a more difficult
time to adjust to a new life event compared to a
couple who have been together for a shorter period
in their lives.
Towards the aftermath of long-term relationship
break-ups. Personal growth is examined following
romantic relationship breakups. [7] Ty Tashiro &
Patricia Frazier (2003) stated that stress-related
growth is part of the factors present in an
impending breakup. The term refers to the growth
beyond their psychological functioning in response
to a distressing or traumatic life event. Effects
include positive changes in self-perception,
interpersonal relationships, philosophy, etc. Results
indicated that growth experienced from a breakup
may improve the quality of future romantic
relationships. Reports show that women show
more positive changes rather than men and are
more likely to think critically on how to improve
future relationships. Initiators are likely to receive
less stress over non-initiators, mainly the person
who controls the relationship might end it in order
to avoid dealing with its problems. [8] Carter R.
Kelley, et al. (2019) suggests that most individuals
will go through one painful breakup in their
lifetime, with tendencies to show like depression,
anxiety, mood swings, obsession, and a great
chance of suicide. Others lean to social circles
while some turn to drugs and alcohol. The
introduction of an overarching theory called
Symbolic Interaction Theoretical framework states
that broken romance gives meaning to each other’s
behaviour. The definition of this is that the
relationship is over and one third of the case show
that individuals know the relationship is ending
and know when is the relationship ending. A
second concept in this study is the Looking Glass
whereas the individuals of the relationship see an
image of themselves reflected by those in a
relationship. Like saying “I love you” to “This
isn’t working”, the individuals see a split image of
a positive relationship turning into a negative one.
2
Compassionate individuals were discussed and
additional strategies were used associated with the
participants and perceived these choices as
compassionate to end a relationship. Individuals
are likely to use verbal and direct strategies that are
commonly used in relationships to initiate
termination. The use positive tone to withdrawal
strategies from the relationship and overall number
of factors that influence the individual’s strategies
to end a relationship. [9]  Zoë Griggs (2014)
showed the do’s and don’ts of handling a breakup.
Although not all are not reliable due to the use of
profanity but overall individuals may learn some
information that can help the individual and have a
good laugh. Focus on your best qualities and
reinventing yourself. After all, be patient and you
can find another one next time.
Significance of the study shows when a
relationship doesn’t end well which could have
ended either for the better or worse, it would, of
course, have a heavier impact to the individual’s
self, especially if the relationship is unhealthy and
toxic that ends most likely due to problems that
have not yet been settled before and after the
breakup. The researchers conducted this study to
know how a happy relationship could change
drastically and turn into a miserable one. The
benefits of the study will aid to the individuals who
are going through a difficult time adjusting
throughout the events and taking in the situation at
hand
Breakups signal a huge turning point to your life; a
relationship becomes useless if the couple does not
agree with each other. The aftermath of a
relationship breakup can negatively influence you,
but it could also turn into a lesson for you, for
better or worse. Our group conducted this study to
raise awareness on how a committed couple can be
uncertain at some times to the point whether they
can continue their relationship or terminate it.
OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY
The general objectives are to explore the concept
of breakups and dive deeper into the stories of each
participants that experienced breakups and create
strategies, coping mechanisms that can help them.
 Lyceum of the Philippines University – Cavite Research Journal SHS Edition| Volume I, No. I | April 2019
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The researchers introduced two objectives that
will help formulate a broad plan, develop a
framework and set standards for a more effective
and comprehensive research.
1.) Know the strategies and coping mechanisms
individuals use to cope with the aftermath of the
breakup.
2.) Observe the effects of the strategies on the
individuals and are they effective to other
participants.
METHODS & MATERIALS
Methods and Materials are peer-reviewed
publications that focuses on the methods developed
and materials used during a research cycle. This is
where the discussion of the research design,
research method, sampling method, the
participants needed, validation of instruments, and
data collection procedures are located here. When
data collection is done, data analysis would soon
follow and ethical considerations with permission
to use recorder to analyze more information from
the participants volunteering in the study. All of
these are sub-headings of the methods and
materials. The methods & materials section should
give readers enough information to repeat the
experiments.
Research Design
The researchers would use the Narrative Design in
which in-depth interviews and open-ended
questionnaires are conducted to which weave
sequences to form a cohesive story from the
participants. [Narrative methods can be considered
“real world measures” that are appropriate when
“real life problems” are investigated.]
Research Method
This study utilized semi-structured type of
interview that respondents engage in a formal
interview. There is a list of questions that are in the
topic and may answer in a particular order.
Participants can stray from the guide if he or she
feels this is appropriate.
Participants
3
In conducting this research, a maximum of 10
participants, 5 men and 5 women from the college
department, are needed in this study. The
researchers will use the judgmental/ purposive
sampling from the non-probability sampling
section. The criteria needed are age 18-21, length
of the relationship must be two or more years,
promises for marriage, decisions prior to the
dissolution of the relationship.
Data Collection Procedure
Phase 1: The formulation of questions is related to
the reasons made by the participants to terminate
the relationship. Are there other strategies or
coping mechanisms made by the participants that
can cope well with other participants? Lastly did
the said strategies work? And what can they do to
improve it. Interviews, open-ended questionnaires
are needed for this.
Phase 2: When the formulation of the questions is
done. The researchers will validate the
questionnaires to the headmaster to verify the
study and give it to the Subject teacher and Topic
Expert for proofreading.
Phase 3: The OEQs would undergo pilot testing
(revision of some questions that are not worthy to
be answered) and modify the overall theme as well
give feedback to improve the questionnaires.
Phase 4: When Phases 1-3 are completed. The
collected data would be categorized into two
sections. The strategies that worked and the ones
that didn’t. After pinpointing the middle ground of
two strategies. What worked would be used in
coping mechanisms that participants could use to
lessen the tragedy of the breakup.
REFERENCES
Carter, K.R., Knox, D & Hall, S.S. (2019),
Romantic Breakups: Difficult Loss for Some,
but not for Others, Journal of Loss and
Trauma: 1-17
 Lyceum of the Philippines University – Cavite Research Journal SHS Edition| Volume I, No. I | April 2019
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deprecation-trap/424842/
Marshall, T., Bejanyan, K. & Ferenczi, N. (2013),
Attachment Styles and Personal Growth follow-
ing Romantic Breakups: The Mediating Roles
of Distress, Rumination, and Tendency to Re-
bound, PLoS ONE, 8(9)

Quirk, K., Owen, J., Shuck, B., Fincham, F.D.,

Knopp, K. & Rhoades, G. (2015), Breaking
Bad: Commitment Uncertainty, Alternative
Monitoring, and Relationship Termination in
Young Adults, Journal of Couple and Relation-
ship Therapy, 15(1):1-14.

Rhoades, G.K., Dush, C.K., Atkins, D.C. &

Stanley, S.M. (2011), Breaking Up is Hard to
do: The Impact of Unmarried Relationship
Dissolution on Mental Health and Life
Satisfaction, Journal of Family Psychology,
25(3), 366-374

Slotter, E.B., Gardner, W.L & Finkel, E.J. (2009),

Who Am I Without You? The Influence of
Romantic Breakup on the Self-Concept,
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,
36(2), 147-160

Tashiro, T. & Frazier, P (2003), “I’ll never be in a

relationship like that again”: Personal growth
following romantic relationship breakups.,
Personal Relationships, 10:113-128

For online articles:

Goldsmith, B. (2018), Top 10 reasons for
Relationship Break-Ups,
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/
emotional-fitness/201808/top-10-reasons-
relationship-break-ups

Griggs, Z. (2014), How To Handle A Breakup: 10

Do’s and 5 Don’ts,
https://thoughtcatalog.com/zoe-griggs/2014/09/
how-to-handle-a-breakup-10-dos-and-5-donts/

Howe, L. (2016), Why Some People Take

Breakups Harder Than Others,
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/
2016/01/romantic-rejection-and-the-self-