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36 Funny Mark Twain Quotes

July 22, 2020 by Megan Malone

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The infamous Mark Twain has made a significant impact on American

literary history. His writings bring a mix of wisdom and humor, sprinkled
with a little common sense on top.

Mark Twain was known as being a very wise man, but that doesn’t mean
he lacked sense of humor. He loved wording things in a smart and
humorous way.

He would find a bright side in a dark situation and use laughter as a way
to dismiss stupidity. Many of his quotes are relatable to the average Joe;
because a person with common sense will agree with his opinions.

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Are you interested in discovering some of his hilarious quotes? Then you
are at the right place!

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We compiled a list of 36 funny Mark Twain quotes that will brighten up

your day.

Funny Mark Twain Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and

for the same reason.

Mark Twain

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down
to their level and then beat you with experience.

Mark Twain

God created war so that Americans would learn

geography.

Mark Twain

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All generalizations are false, including this one.

Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

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Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

Mark Twain

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us
could not succeed.

Mark Twain

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the

more interest they generate.

Mark Twain

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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice.
Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Mark Twain

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I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter

saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you
please.

Mark Twain

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No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the

presence of ladies.

Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know

because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Mark Twain

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A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is
still trying to put on its pants.

Mark Twain

An honest man in politics shines more there than

he would elsewhere.

Mark Twain

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The funniest things are the forbidden.

Mark Twain

If we would learn what the human race really is at the

bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a

member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

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