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 CONTENTS

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25

Detonation
Acknowledgments

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Copyright © 2020 by R.L. Caulder

R.L. Caulder reserves all rights to and/or involving this work as the author. This is a work of fiction.
All names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination or
used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, either living or dead, or events is purely
coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, whether
electronic or mechanical, including information storage and retrieval systems, now known or
hereinafter invented, without written permissions from the author, except for brief quotations in a
book review.

Cover design by Aubrey Troutman of A.T. Cover Designs

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 To my parents, thank you for supplying me with all the books I needed to
fuel my addiction growing up. I’m sorry it’s turned into me writing a book
that includes sex scenes with multiple men. Please skip through those.
Much love, R.

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 Prologue

Ashes and embers flow in the air, the evidence of a dying—no, dead—
battle. Soot plasters my skin, coats my hair, completely obscuring the
copper hues from sight. My eyes drift across the blood-soaked battlefield.
Body parts scattered across the grounds that had been my home only
hours before. An arm, a leg, a beheaded corpse.
My gaze catches, my heart stops, as the bodies of my loved ones come
into view. My kingdom's people, my parents, my best friend—
My mates.
I’ve lost every single person in my life in what feels like seconds.
I stumble over a decapitated body and fall to the ground. When did I
start walking? A sharp rock lances my hip, piercing through my thin armor,
as my leg gives way under my weight. In my desperation to get to my
mates, I forgot that the bastard Dark Fae fractured my left leg in battle.
But nothing else matters besides them. I must get to them. This can’t be
the end.
I put my weight on my forearms and push, hissing out a breath between
tightly clenched teeth. My biceps shake from the pressure and my shoulders
collapse before I manage to lift myself up. The pain in my leg is
excruciating, causing me to clench my teeth so hard they might crack. My
vision fills with black dots and unconsciousness threatens. I can’t think,
only breathe, only hope that the agony lessens.
With every turbulent heartbeat, the memory of broken promises stab at
me.
I promised them I would see us through this unharmed.
I promised them I would marry them after this war was over.
I promised them I would finish this today.
Choking back a sob, the finality of the situation sinks into my soul. I
had been overconfident in my abilities and my loved ones had suffered the
consequences of my arrogance. This is my fault. There is no one to blame
but me.
So many broken promises … How did I let this happen? This has to be a
nightmare. Please, Gaia, don't let this be my reality.
A sharp kick to my chin snaps my head back as pain spreads through
my jaw. The recoil from the kick causes my head to fall forward, dangling
towards the ground, exhausted.
Blood pools in my mouth and I spit it onto the ground, trying to hold
onto consciousness when a deep, rumbling laugh echoes across the open
expanse of my fallen home. The hairs on my arms stand up and my burned-
out power flares within me, reacting defensively to the sound.
Anshar.
I may have broken many promises but I can still honor one.
This ends today.
He kneels, invading my line of sight, staring into my eyes with a
sadistic grin. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself, Oslana? Or should I
continue to beat the self-pity out of you? I could keep playing kickball with
your pretty little head."
He holds a lock of my hair, rolling it between his fingers, that smirk
ever-present. "Or I could give you a quick and painless death. It’s your
choice. All you have to do is take the lock off of your soul’s power. Let me
consume it and I will end this now. Look around. You have nothing left to
live for anyway."
I stare into his eyes, searching for the soul that I know he used to have.
The boy he used to be. The friend I spent my childhood playing with.
Surely, he has to be there.
"Your mates," he says with a delighted sigh in his voice, a maniacal
glint in his jade-colored eyes, as he stares at his bloodstained talons in
adoration. "Cutting their hearts out with my bare hands gave me such a
rush."
My blood turns to ice. No. The boy I had loved is dead. In his place
stands this sick monster before me.
Even as sadness flows through me for the boy he used to be, my resolve
steels and calmness overwhelms the grief of what I must do. This man can
never have my powers. Gaia gifted them to me at my birth, prophesying a
disastrous future in need of salvation. Salvation only my abilities can
provide.
He will never have access to my Goddess-given gifts.
My mind works overtime and a plan forms.
A single talon runs down and across my cheek, forming the letter ‘A’
into my skin, marking me as his. Warm blood trickles down the side of my
face but I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my discomfort. In truth,
the pain of this minor cut is nothing compared to the loss of my family.
He was right when he said I had nothing left to live for.
He digs his talon into the bottom of my chin, trying to pull that pain out
of me. He will never understand that my well of emotion has run dry. After
seeing my mates and family slaughtered before my eyes—
I have nothing left to give him, except his death.
Anger bleeds into his gaze at my unresponsiveness. "You know you
brought this upon yourself when you turned down my proposal to be with
them," he spits, continuing to dig his talon deeper into my flesh. Bringing
his head closer and closer to me, his tongue darts down and licks at the
blood pouring down my neck from the wound. His eyes roll back in pure
ecstasy at the taste.
The high dies down within moments and his anger flares brighter than
ever. Spittle flies from his mouth, landing on my face. "You were to be my
bride. My queen!" His eyes trace the drops of his saliva on my cheek before
he rubs them into my skin with his thumb, as if ingraining that piece of him
into me. "The one I would rule the world with." He shakes his head in
disgust. "I wish I could still offer you a place by my side but you have been
tainted by those lowly peasants that you dared call your mates. You are not
worthy of standing next to me."
As he insults my mates and our bond, I feel my power pulsating out of
my soul in large waves, threatening to explode outwards and consume us
both.
Whenever my power reacted like this in the past, my loves were always
there to calm me down with their soft touches and gentle words, coaxing it
back down to a manageable level.
I had been naïve to think that I had enough control to win this battle
without further training. This is my fault.
Without them here, there is nothing that can hold my power back and
that is exactly what I need. I will die here on this field with the other fallen
but I will damn well take this tyrant with me.
I will fulfill that promise, my mates. It will be the last thing I do before I
follow you into eternal slumber.
I lower my eyes, feigning submissiveness while searching for the
hidden weapon on my person. He chuckles low in his chest like my
subservience was expected and inevitable.
"You are nothing, Oslana. You are unworthy of those powers bestowed
upon you. Look at you," he says, cocking his head in mock pity. My hand
clasps around the hilt of the small dagger in my boot. "You can’t even say a
word bac—"
His words cut off with a gargle as I shove the blade of my knife through
the bottom of his chin. His mouth and eyes fall open. I can see the knife
protruding through his mouth, piercing his tongue.
The sound of him choking on his blood is pitiful.
"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?" I say, cocking my
head as he had, menace lacing my every word, as I twist the dagger in
further. The bones of his nose crunch, giving way to the metal of my blade.
His eyes roll back into his head and he falls, unconscious from the pain
and blood loss. But I must act swiftly, for he has stolen the ability to heal
from my Light Fae by using dark magic.
All I need is a few moments to center my powers to end this.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath in until my lungs are stretched
past full capacity. My power lashes out from every pore of my body,
sending my hair flying in all directions, cleansing my body of the ash, blood
and signs of battle. A pale teal orb of light surrounds my body and lifts me
into the air as my magic starts overflowing.
I give one final prayer to Gaia, my Goddess, begging her to forgive me
for my failure, for my foolish choices. A cool, featherlight touch runs down
my unmarked cheek, betraying her presence. Soaking up the love that I feel
in that caress, I allow one single tear to fall from my eye at the thought that
I won’t be alone in my death. That someone who loves me still lives.
Out of my peripheral, I see Anshar push himself from the ground
shakily. He grabs onto the hilt of my blade and extracts the dagger
embedded in his chin and throws it onto the ground. He’s already beginning
to heal. Damnit.
Having no time to spare, I focus back on my core. I feel the wildness of
my power and grab a hold of it in my mind’s eye. Sweat runs down my face
as a tsunami of heat envelops me.
 I cry out and tug at the chains I had placed on my soul to contain my
power within me, until they begin breaking away, piece by piece.
Anshar smiles at me with bloodied teeth, as if he’s won, and utters
words so low that they do not reach me. He cannot reach me in time and the
smile dies as he comes to that realization.
Small grey cracks begin to run through my skin as my raw magic seeps
through them. The teal orb shifts to a blinding, white light as my power
consumes me and finally grows beyond my control. The blast that will
destroy everything within a five-mile radius builds like a tornado and even
Anshar knows he cannot stop it.
A tearing sensation ripples through my soul.
This is how it will end.
Anshar yells into the raging wind, his hands burning under the heat of
my magic. "This is only the end of this life, mate!" He glares into my eyes,
not letting his burning gaze fall until his body turns to ash from the blast of
my power tearing him apart.
As everything around me lays destroyed, my power wanes, the orb of
light disappears and I fall.
My skin brushes softly with the ground as the remnants of my magic
abandon me with my last exhale of breath.
Closing my eyes for the final time, I let the darkness take me away,
finally.
I’m coming, my loves.

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Chapter One

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 LANA

“I don’t care! I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a penis in my

eye.” I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow at the man who’s
one of my best friends, daring him to challenge me. 
Hale. Who I happen to have a gigantic fucking crush on.
He’s tall, dark and handsome personified. The cherry on top? He’s
actually caring. Why can’t you just woman up and make a move already,
Lana?
I take a peek through my long copper hair at the other four, delicious
hunks sat around the dying embers of the bonfire. There's the answer. Not
another vagina in sight. Well, except my own. 
 Ash, Zedd, Leo, and Luke are all sitting around the pit, illuminated by
the soft embers floating from the fire, holding cheap beers as they gang up
on me about how I want to celebrate our twenty-first birthday. Yes, ours.
“You're so full of shit, Lana,” Ash interjects. “No girl has ever meant it
when she says, ‘I don’t care.’” I narrow my eyes at the sassy air quotes.
He's the only one in this ragtag band of misfits who can match my level of
sarcasm. 
It makes me want to jump his bones, tug on his dark, curly locks and
meet the challenge in his mesmerizing, emerald eyes.
Instead, I flick him the bird with a dismissive scoff. Mature, I know. 
 For our birthday this year, I just want to be one of the guys. It shouldn’t
be that hard. I grew up with these boys for most of our lives. The only
difference between me and them is the dangly bit between their legs, that I
absolutely dream about all the time.
He props a dramatic finger on his stubbled chin, narrowing his eyes to
slits as if in deep thought. “Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m positive that
translates to”—his voice goes up multiple octaves to a female pitch—“‘I
want you guys to figure it out for yourselves and surprise me because we’ve
been best friends our entire lives and you should know what I want by
now.’” 
My mouth drops open. Good Goddess, I hope I don’t sound like that! 
In previous years, that might have been an accurate statement because
who doesn’t love being celebrated? But this year… My twenty-first birthday
isn’t one I want to make a big deal out of. Besides, the world is busy falling
apart before our eyes, so we have other shit to deal with. 
While I emulate a fish gasping out of water, unsure what to say, Zedd
takes pity on me. My sweet, sweet Zedd. Swoon. He draws me in with those
big, hazel eyes with caramel flecks and slicked-over brown hair, short on
the sides, long and styled at the top, looking at me like a lost puppy dog. I
just want to squish him to me and love him forever. 
“Look, Lana,” he says in his deep, soothing voice, “I think what we’re
all trying to say is that we want to make this a memorable day for you. It
feels like there’s a new natural disaster every day. We just want to give you
one day to forget about our world literally crumbling down around us. Is
that so bad?” He searches my face for a clue into my real feelings, hoping I
give him a glimpse. 
Tough luck, buttercup. 
I’ve been working on my mask for practically my entire life, locking
those irritating things called emotions away. I’m not failing now, though it
was a good effort on his part. A+ for the puppy dog eyes, Zedd.
 They can’t see my heart melting into a puddle in my chest cavity at their
thoughtfulness or the circus performing flips in my stomach if I don’t let
them. 
Huffing out a breath, I throw my hands in the air. “Guys, seriously? It’s
just me—Lana. Your best friend for the past how many years? Too many to
count. You should know better. You know I don’t like being the center of
attention all the time. Besides, it shouldn’t just be about me!” The thought
of it actually makes me want to gag, almost as much as the beer we’re
drinking does.
Though the sentiment of them wanting to make me feel special isn’t lost
on me, I don’t need it. I’ve gotten used to blending in as one of the guys
because it lets me keep all of them by my side. I wouldn’t change it for the
world. 
“Lana, every year, you want to celebrate,” Leo says, bumping my left
shoulder. His smoky scent permeates my senses and I resist the urge to take
in the scent of home. 
They all smell like home to me. 
Luke continues, bumping my other shoulder, “So why do you think
we’ll believe you this year?” His saltwater scent is the complete opposite of
his brother’s but no less comforting. How these men manage to smell so
good all the time is beyond me. 
I don’t take the blessing of sitting between two dirty-blonde, blue-eyed,
identical twins lightly. The only difference between the two being Leo’s
slight wave to Luke’s pin straight hair.
These two are the exact vision of what I think an angel would look like
on earth.  Jackpot.
“Thanks for the concern, boys, but I’d appreciate you believing me
when I say I don’t want that this year. Plus, it isn’t just my birthday. It’s
ours. How many times do I have to point that out?” I ask in an exasperated
tone.
 Of course, we don’t actually share a birthday. 
When I first met the guys, we were kids at Beth’s home, our foster
home. It was where our family first began after she took us from the shit
foster system she happened to work for. Just before she took us in, the boys’
files had burned in an office fire at the Department of Child and Family. All
the details of their birth families, their birth dates, everything—gone. 
In the face of their sadness, logically, I did the only thing that made
sense to a young child. I offered to share my birthday with them and it’s
been that way ever since. 
Every year, we celebrate as a family, just us. They always try to make
the whole day about me and I both love and hate it. They deserve to be
celebrated and made to feel special too. But this year, they’ve decided it
should be all about me, which is the exact opposite of what I want. 
Try convincing them of that, Lana. 
Mentally shaking my head at their stubborn, mule-like behavior, I put
my arms around the twins’ shoulders and squeeze them closer to me in a
faux hug, luring them into a false sense of security. Just when they relax, I
tip myself backwards, falling on the soft ground and letting their heads
crash in the space my body had occupied. Their heads knock together and
they grunt at the force of the collision. 
“Lana!” they both yell, exasperated, making me cackle like a hyena. 
I slap my knees as my eyes tear up and my stomach begins to hurt from
the force of the laughter. You’d think they’d learn after the hundredth time! 
I am definitely the funniest person I know. 
“Holy shit, I can’t believe that continues to work,” I wheeze out
between bouts of laughter from my place on the forest floor. 
It’s so much easier to fuck with them than to show my emotions. It’s
safer that way. If I don’t share anything, I’ll be less tempted to share my
romantic feelings towards them. 
 As my laughter dies down, it clicks in my head that no one is laughing
along with me. That’s unusual. 
I wipe the tears from my cheeks and look at the twins, rubbing the side
of their heads and joining the guys standing in front of me. While I was
busy amusing myself, the guys apparently left their sitting positions to
imitate a line of soldiers before me. 
Well, shit. This got real.
Feeling completely out of my comfort zone at the unexpected tension, I
fiddle with the edges of my faded blue sleeves. Why are they all staring at
me?
“That’s the thing, Little One.” Hale stalks to where I’m pushing myself
into a seated position on the ground, eyes on me like I’m his prey, and
squats in front of me. “We don’t believe you. You’re different this year.
We’ve known each other our entire lives. You think we don’t see it? The
real you that you try to bury away from us? You think you can hide from
us?” 
Fuck, he’s so intense. Someone get me a fan to cool off.
I will never become accustomed to Hale’s calm, dominant nature. When
that sexy, authoritative side of him comes out, I want to rub up against him
like an animal in heat. I can see where it comes from. Before coming to
Beth’s home where he met us, he was raised by a strict, military foster
family. 
Without Hale, I don’t know where we’d be. The rest of us are way too
goofy to take the ‘end of the world,’ as the conspiracy theorists say,
seriously for too long.
I take in his broad chest and strong shoulders, blocking me from the
dying fire and the other guys. He’s the biggest of the group, with Ash a very
close second. Despite that, neither of them—actually, none of them—have
ever made me feel intimidated. When I’m around them, all I feel is safe,
comforted.
 I don’t realize that I’ve looked away from him as I zone out, until he
uses a finger under my chin to turn my gaze back to him. The longer strands
of his messy, light brown hair fall forward. Even in the dark of the night and
behind the curtain of his hair, his icy-blue gaze cuts through to my soul,
trying to pry all of my secrets out of me. 
My pulse quickens and my breaths become erratic from the heat
radiating from his body. He wants my attention and he’s got it. Just not in
the way it should be. 
My gaze falls to his plush lips that are testing my will power. Would
they feel as soft as they look? Will I ever get a chance to know? 
“I asked you a question, Lana,” he says, softly but firmly, startling me
from my intense inspection of his finer features. 
It feels like my nerves are on fire. The intensity in the air unsettles me
so I place a coy smile on my lips, deliberately provoking him to offset the
effect he’s having on me. Fluttering my eyelids, I feign ignorance. “What
was the question again, Sir?” 
At the unintentional breathiness in my words and very intentional
choice of title, Hale’s eyes light up. He leans in closer and lines those
delectable lips that I can’t stop dreaming about with my ear. His earthy
scent tickles my soul, evoking memories of a garden of cedarwood and oak
trees from our childhood. I love that he carries that scent on him. 
In barely a whisper, he says, “You heard me, Little One.”
Oh, so he’s bringing out the heavy artillery today.
Growing up, the boys always towered over me, which was where the
nickname derived from. Even though I’ve grown into my five-foot-nine
frame, Hale still likes to use it to get what he wants. He knows using my
childhood nickname always touches a soft spot in my heart. 
Though the finger under my chin remains, I lower my eyes to the
ground. He’s never acted quite like this before and it’s threatening to shatter
the carefully crafted seal on my emotions. 
 I’ve known these guys my entire life, but the mask I hold in place, is
even older than my friendship with them. There are still some memories,
parts of my past that I hide from them. Things that stay in my head but
evade my tongue for a reason. 
He’s still waiting on an answer. 
So low that I can barely hear myself, I mutter, “Yes, you guys know me.
But I don’t want anything to change. Our dynamic has worked between us
for so long and … I just can’t lose you all. You guys are all I have.” 
I know he hears what I refuse to say. It’s as plain as day. I’ve never felt
more exposed.
I’m in the same dilemma Leo and Luke have been in for their entire
lives. It’s easy to hide behind humor instead of diving into the emotional
side of ourselves. But if I start getting mushy, if I’m suddenly not the funny
girl they’ve known their entire lives. What’s my place in the group then?
The risk of changing the dynamic isn’t one I’m willing to take. 
They don’t know what came before… Before Beth, before them. 
They might have guessed but they don’t know for sure, and there is no
way they could have guessed everything. I made damn sure of that.
Forty years ago, when the world started going to shit and every
earthquake, tornado, and wildfire took more homes than the last, the world
saw more parents dying, more children displaced, more than it ever  could
have imagined. In the face of orphaned and starving children on streets, a
foster care initiative was quickly set up by the government. Anyone who
volunteered to take children off the street received a large handout of
money. 
But with promises of cash awards came greedy, despicable people. They
left their homes in droves, practically clawed these traumatized children
into their homes with one hand and snatched the money with the other, to
fund their disgusting habits. 
 I was one of them. We all were. One of many children who saw the
dangled promise of safety and latched onto it in their despair and grief, only
to come ‘home’ to cupboards overflowing with empty booze containers and
foster parents with needle tracks lining their arms. Dismissed to bare
bedrooms with sleeping bags for beds, a trash bag to hold what measly
belongings we had and men and women who snuck into children’s rooms to
satisfy their depraved desires in the night. 
I was six when I was removed from that shit excuse for a ‘home.’ Some
kids stayed until they aged out. I guess I was ‘one of the lucky ones’ if I
wanted to see the silver lining.
When I found these guys, I knew they were it for me. It was the way
they put me at ease, despite my trauma. Fifteen years later, and that still
hasn’t changed. 
“Come on,” Hale says, a twinkle in his eyes and a lightness in his voice
that has me looking up with curiosity. “You know you would never lose us.
What’s our saying?” 
Maybe he can tell we’ve reached my quota for serious conversations.
Bless him. 
I laugh softly at the absurd line we came up with as preteens before
answering with a chuckle, “Friends are like condoms. They protect you
when things get hard.” 
We’d just started learning about sex ed and ‘protection’ when we
decided on that. We may not have fully understood the use of condoms back
then but, in hindsight, we really nailed that analogy.
“Well, then?” Hale asks. “We’ve stuck together for this long. I don’t
picture that changing. Do you?” 
You’re just full of questions tonight, huh? 
There’s a war going on inside between my head and heart. I know they
care about me. I don’t remember much about my biological family but I
remember feeling safe, happy, loved. These guys are all of that and more.
Meeting them was one of the best things to happen in my life. I know these
men will never hurt me. 
But, if I open myself up to them about everything I'm hiding, what if
everything changes? I don't want their pity. All that aside, they don't know
how I feel about them. What if they don't feel the same way?
 The fear of rejection is real, it’s what holds me back—that and the fact
there's no way in hell I could choose just one of them.
Legally, I’m an adult now. If I lose them, that doesn’t mean I lose my
home. But if I lose them, I lose my family, which would be worse.
The guys and Beth are truly all I have. In their own ways, each of them
has helped me heal from the trauma of my past. Each time I felt consumed
with flashbacks and grief, Beth let me cry on her shoulder, soothing me and
comforting me, healing a small crack in my heart every time. And the guys,
they helped in so many ways by just existing. 
I can’t screw this up but I also can’t live my life in fear anymore.
My past can’t define me any longer. I need to push past it. I want to
progress. Perfection isn’t possible, but I can at least try to be better, even
just a little each day. 
I need to decide if I can handle the fallout of them not reciprocating my
feelings. It’s a tough pill to swallow but this wishy-washy, back-and-forth
tug of war is slowly pushing me to the edge of my sanity.
The sincerity in his words is evident, but I need some time. I can’t just
let down the wall I’ve spent countless years reinforcing, even for them. Not
yet. 
So, in pure Lana-style, I ignore his question. Loudly enough for the
others to hear, I say, “Can I please have another beer? I promise I won't
challenge you guys to another belching contest. You’re all sore losers
anyway!”
“Opinions are like assholes, Lana. Everyone has one.” Leo shoots back,
breaking the tension that descends on the group during my interaction with
Hale.
Cheeky bastard.
“Exactly!” Luke adds. “Just because you think your burps are better
doesn’t mean it’s the truth, sweetheart. Dream on!” 
Their playful personalities are infectious, drawing a smile from my lips
every time they banter. They’re quick with their words and creative with
their pranks but it all stems from a dark time in their childhood and their
egg donor. 
With the twins, the moment may get serious, but it never stays that way
for long, no matter what the topic or who’s involved. 
On a particularly hot, summer day, their mother loaded the twins into
the car, pulled up to the closest foster group home, dragged them to the
front of the building and zip tied their wrists to the stairs leading up to the
building. She walked away without another glance as they sobbed for their
mother, not understanding why she was leaving them or that it was forever. 
Ever since then, they’ve locked down their more serious emotions.
Long periods of low moods take them back to those memories and sets
them into depressive episodes. It took years for them to reveal even that
much to me. 
Growing up, Hale and Zedd were my anchors when I needed to feel
grounded, Luke and Leo were my life rafts when I was pulled down into the
dark waters of my mind, whereas Ash was the asshole lifeguard who
refused to let me drown.
Holding my hand over my heart in mock dismay, I push myself up off
the ground. As Hale follows me to a standing position, I lean into him,
wiping my tingling, half-asleep ass to get off the dirt and debris. I whisper
conspiratorially, “I think they’re scared of getting their ass whooped in
another contest. That’s why they’re hoarding the beers like dragons with
treasure.” 
 He slings his arm around me with a chuckle, graciously dropping the
earlier conversation, and steers me over to the rest of the group. 
“So now that that’s out of the way, what would you like to do for your
birthday, Sugar Britches?” Luke asks, testing out his nickname of the day. 
I will never grow old of hearing the ridiculous, surprisingly creative
combinations that he always comes up with—or the guys’ exasperated
groans at each new attempt to draw a laugh from me.
Scoffing at the ‘name of the day,’ I goad him. “Seriously? Sugar
Britches? That’s the best you could do? Well’s running a little dry there on
creativity, huh?” 
His mouth drops open at my rejection of the name, mock outrage
painted on his face. As he has his drama queen moment, I soak up the love
that I feel for these men. They helped mold me into the person that I am
today and I can’t bear the thought of having to part with any of them. 
They all fill a different piece of my soul. Pieces to the puzzle that is my
heart, which would be incomplete without them. 
It may seem impossible but I love them all equally. Which just makes it
all the more difficult to take the leap from platonic into romantic. 
Imagine if I could have them all. 
But there’s no way they would ever be cool with sharing one woman.
Especially me. And if they just see me as a foster sister?
I suppress the full-body cringe that threatens at the thought. 
Nope. 
I’d rather pledge myself to ignoring the near-constant ache between my
thighs and the sexual fantasies that plague my dreams at night. 
At least a girl can dream. Those, at least, are safe.
There has to be a man out there that will swoop in and distract me from
these guys. Right? 
Zedd’s voice startles me out of my thoughts. “It’s getting late. Beth will
be expecting us home soon. Let’s not worry her any more than she already
does.” 
Ever the thoughtful one, Zedd clings to Beth almost as much as I do.
When he placed the desire for a parental figure onto Beth, she took him by
the hand and gave that love right back to him. 
Unlike the rest of the guys who feel resentment towards their biological
‘families,’ Zedd doesn’t, despite having every reason to. He was just a child
when his parents up and left one day without warning. Leaving him behind
while taking his sister with them. Instead of the hatred that they deserve, he
blames himself for not being good enough to keep and suffers from major
abandonment issues. With Beth, he’s always helping her around the house,
and asking her if she needs anything. He thinks I don’t see it, but I know
he’s trying to prove he’s worth keeping around this time.
Zedd is right though. We’ve outgrown the curfew Beth set for us as
kids, but we still abide by it. She’s lost so much already and lives in an
almost-constant state of fear for us. On the one occasion we were late
coming home, she stayed up waiting for us, worried sick.
We owe her everything and paying her back with anxiety isn’t the plan. 
“You heard the man! Let’s head home. Autobots, roll out!” I yell out,
quoting my favorite movie, Transformers. It was the last movie we saw in
our local theatre before it was destroyed by a category F5 tornado several
years back. 
The guys gather the empty beer cans, illuminated under the soft glow of
the full moon and make sure the fire is put out properly while I stand there
admiring them. 
Ash and Hale are on the bulkier side, wide-chested with shirts that
always pull just a little too tight on their frame, but in the most delicious
way. The twins have more of a swimmer’s build, all lean, toned muscle that
I have the pleasure of frequently seeing because they have an aversion to
shirts. Not that I’m complaining. 
 If I miss breakfast, I feast on the sight of their abs. Whenever they smile
and their dimples pop out, I instantly melt into a puddle of want and need.
Then, there’s my sweet, nerdy Zedd. He’s slimmer than the rest of the
group with natural abs and muscle. I’ve always been envious of his ability
to retain his build despite his addiction to junk food. 
I’m happy with my body, long and supple with soft curves. But if I ever
want abs, it’ll have to be in my dreams because I love food.
I haven’t done anything to deserve these guys in my life but I’ll stick to
them like an annoying barnacle for as long as I can.  Even if it means
kicking my romantic feelings to the curb.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Two

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

Unfortunately, there comes a time when you have to trade in your diapers
and stop being a little bitch. My time is now. 
Sauntering up to Hale, I bump him with my hip to get his attention. I
need to figure out what he was getting at in our earlier conversation or it
will eat at me all fucking night. 
In my best impersonation of a lady with manners, I ask, “Will you do
me the honor of escorting me home, kind sir?” 
Nailed it. 
Hale smiles down at me and holds his elbow out to me in an offering,
“Of course, milady.”
I wrap my hand around his large bicep, enjoying the feel of his smooth
skin. We fall in step together and begin the short, half-mile walk back
home, enjoying the silence while I search for the metaphorical balls to ask
him what’s on my mind.
In a low voice so the rest of the guys walking behind us can’t hear, I
ask, “What did you mean before when you said I can’t hide from you guys
anymore?” I sneak a glance at him before adding, “I’m literally with you
guys all day, every day. There’s not much hiding going on there, in my
opinion.”
 Hale glances over at me out of the corner of his eye and smirks,
mischief clear in the turn of his lips. “What do you think I meant by it?” 
Motherfucker!
Pursing my lips at the cryptic non-answer, I huff before trying again.
“What exactly is it that you think I’m hiding from you guys?” There—that’s
simple and to the point.
Without a thought, he shoots back nonchalantly, “Your feelings for us,
of course.” 
Time slows and my heart screeches to a halt, before restarting and
beating three times as hard. When I zone back into the moment, we’re
almost home and I’ve almost cut off the circulation to his arm with my
death grip.
What the hell? Just boom! Hit me with the kill shot, no warning.  What
am I supposed to do with that? Feign ignorance?
Worth a shot.
“Wha..What about my feelings for you guys? Obviously, you’re all my
family and I love you all. I’d do anything to protect you.” 
I almost gag at the ‘I love you like a brother’ implication but a girl’s
gotta save her ass somehow. As long as he can’t hear my heart beating like
a jackhammer against my chest threatening to burst from my body, it should
pass as a normal statement.
He looks at me, trying to gauge my feelings but I try not to give
anything away. He smiles lightly and removes my arm from his person
while holding the door to our home open, “Okay, Little One. If that’s how
you want to play it, then that’s fine. For now.” 
Well, shit. 
What now? Is my interest amusing to them or do they reciprocate? This
requires further investigating. Detective Lana, reporting for duty.
We take our shoes off at the door, per Beth’s house rules, and the rest of
the guys follow us in. With mumbled goodnights, the guys head upstairs, to
get ready for bed.
The twins share a large room, as do Ash and Hale, while Zedd and I
have our own, smaller, private rooms. Those were the rooms we were
assigned when we were first brought here and we’ve never requested a
change.
Overhead, floorboards creak as the guys do what they do before
jumping into bed. Before heading upstairs, I pass through the living room to
check on Beth. There’s no way she went to her room before we got home
with her tendencies to worry.
Sure enough, she’s in her typical ‘waiting’ spot. I walk into the sight of
her on the well-worn, red recliner, her head lolled back as she sleeps. Her
short, dirty blonde hair frames her face. She looks so frail as she sleeps. It
makes me want to gather her in my arms, like she’s done for us our entire
lives.
She’s such a mother hen. 
I can’t pretend I don’t love it.
Trying not to rouse her, I pull the light blue, worn blanket over her and
kiss her on the forehead. She stirs at the light touch and opens her big, gray
eyes to look at me. “Lana? Is everything okay?”
I perch on the edge of the recliner before answering, “Everything’s fine.
We’re all home, safe and sound. The boys are just getting ready for bed
now. They wouldn’t stop nagging me about birthday plans.” I roll my eyes.
“Typical night.”
She smiles indulgently, “This happens every year. You know they’ve
always appreciated you wanting to share your day but they’ll never want to
take the spotlight off of you.”
I groan. “I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal! They deserve
to feel celebrated just as much as I do, you know?”
She grabs my hand and squeezes. “I can’t believe my babies are all
grown up.” Rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand, she sighs before
continuing, “It seems like just yesterday you came home with me but
forever since we became family. I thank the Goddess every day that we
found each other. I can’t believe you’ll all be twenty-one soon!”
Is she still on the Goddess kick? She thanks the ‘Goddess’ so much
recently, she has me saying it without thought.
I squeeze her hand right back, feeling a lightness in my chest that can
only be described as pure love, “We’re the lucky ones to have found you.”
She waves me off. “Don’t let this old fart keep you up with her mushy
words. Go get some sleep.” Picking my hand up, she kisses it before patting
it. “I love you.”
I hop up and make my way out of the room, singing my typical
response, “Love you more.” 
“You know you always lose this battle, Lana! I loved you first so there
is simply no way to love me more, for I have loved you longer.”
“Doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying,” I toss over my shoulder on my way out.
“Lana,” she calls, just as I’m almost out of the door and I halt in my
tracks to listen. “I know why you don’t want to celebrate your birthday this
year. Maybe it’s time to share those reasons with boys?”
I stay there for a second, pondering if I’m ready to open up that can of
worms. Maybe she’s right? Maybe they’ll make the day more lowkey
compared to previous birthday’s if I tell them.
“I’ll think about it,” I relent and head up the stairs to my room.
My last memory with my birth family is my mom’s 21 st birthday. I was
only a toddler so the faded images of a birthday cake, her smile, and group
hugs might be imaginary, but they’re still there all the same. Maybe next
year, I’ll celebrate my 22 nd birthday. But this year, I don’t want to celebrate
reaching an age my mother only got to briefly touch before her death.
Shaking the thought out of my head, I mull back over Beth’s recent
obsession with the ‘Goddess.’ For the past few months, she’s been going to
a new temple that believes in the Greek Gods and Goddesses. Her chosen
temple worships Gaia, the Goddess of Earth, praying for her to stop the
natural disasters plaguing the world. 
Supposedly while she was shopping at a nearby farmers market, she felt
a pull on her soul that drew her to the temple. She always speaks so highly
of their outdoor services, describing the weight lifting off her every time
she attends, so much so, that I’ve been considering going with her to see
what it’s all about. I’ve never felt drawn to an ideology before but the guys
and I have an affinity for nature so who knows? Maybe Gaia will be the
right fit for us. 
After changing into my white tank top and light blue sleep shorts in my
room, I make my way back down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
Damn beer, making my mouth feel like the Sahara Desert. I would have
much preferred tequila tonight, my drink of choice, but they cut me off after
last time. Supposedly, I wouldn’t stop singing Queen’s We Are The
Champions for two hours so they hid my stash of the liquid gold.
We’ll be reunited soon, my love.
As I grab a cup from the cupboard and fill it from the fridge dispenser, a
chorus of laughter from upstairs interrupts my reminiscing about the good
ol’ days with my good friend, tequila. 
Odd. Everyone’s normally winding down at this time. 
I down my water in a single breath and sneak upstairs on my tiptoes, a
mystery theme music playing in my head as I ascend. I pop my head into
the twins’ room where all the guys are gathered, talking quietly amongst
themselves. 
That’s not suspicious at all. 
I narrow my eyes, “Care to share what’s so funny, dudes?” 
Leo and Luke jump into the air at the sound of my voice and Zedd’s
head snaps to me. Ash and Hale are the only ones who keep their
composure with their arms crossed over their wide chests. 
 My eyes narrow further. Clearly, they were expecting me to be in bed
already. I’m not sure why they were laughing so loud then when they’re
normally very courteous.
It must have been really funny. Now I have to know. 
Fully entering the doorway and jutting my hip out, I cross my arms
across my chest in defiance, and wait for someone to fill me in. The
phantom sound of crickets chirping plays in my brain as I stare them down,
tapping my foot on the ground impatiently. The twins look at some random
part of the room, scratching their heads as the rest of the guys avoid my
gaze. 
Huh. It’s like that then. 
Assholes.
I purse my lips. Ignoring the pang of hurt in my chest at being left out, I
turn to leave, yelling over my shoulder. “Fine! Exclude the chick. Keep
talking about boobs, vaginas and porn or whatever.” 
Soft curses sound behind me but I don’t pay them any mind. They want
to leave me out? Fine. They can keep their dick cards and wave them high
in the air. I’ll be here with my vagina, all sad and lonely.  
I hurry down the hall and close my bedroom door behind me. Holding
in my screams of frustration as I fall face first onto my bed, my body
bouncing on the plush mattress as I wallow. What a fucking night. 
At least I successfully evaded the birthday question. A silver lining, I
suppose.
I roll over and turn my bedside light off, letting the room fall into
darkness, blanking my mind in an attempt to make way for sleep. Maybe
that will make the confusion from this entire day fade away. 
Tomorrow will be better. 
I’ll make sure of it. 
I just need to get my shit together before then, make sure my brain’s in
prime condition to compartmentalize. That’s doable, right?
 Laughing at the thought, I realize how unlikely that actually is. I’m a
mess, who am I kidding?
As I lament over the loss of my sanity, the floorboards outside my door
creak and my ears perk up. The boys haven’t snuck into my room for a
snuggle since we were little and the nightmares stopped for all of us. Beth’s
asleep, so who’s out there? 
A memory itches at the back of my mind as my heart picks up pace.
What if it isn’t one of the boys or Beth? What if—
A heavy hand falls on the doorknob, twists, turns, and my hands fist the
pillow beneath me.
It’s been fifteen years. He can’t just waltz into my room again. 
Can he? 
I’m not a baby and I’m not helpless anymore, so why is the stench of
alcohol overwhelming my senses? Pressure at my back, the phantom touch
of heavy, meaty hands, one between my legs, one on my undeveloped chest,
restraining me—
No, no, no. This isn’t happening. It’s not him. 
The smell of peppermint hits me and my heart soars with relief so
suddenly, I almost think it stopped beating. Ash. It’s Ash. 
Immediately, I lock the memory of Rafael and Tina, my first foster
‘family,’ back into the recess of my brain. The constant screaming, the
fighting, the assault I experienced for years—I've moved past all of that
now. Back then, during an annual checkup with the foster system on my
sixth birthday, I told them Rafael pet me like a dog. It was the best way I
could describe it to them at the time, but I had to tell them. I hadn't known
what was happening at the time, but I knew it was wrong. 
It took a year of counselling with someone from the Department of
Children and Family before I began to grasp what Rafael had done and even
after that, I needed Beth, the caring, new office assistant who had showered
me with love and attention before taking me home. Within a year of that, all
of the boys were here as well and I healed a little more having them to grow
up with. 
She said she felt drawn to us, like we were her opportunity to give all
the love she’d locked inside her after her family died in a flash flood two
years before she met us.
Escaping that foster home was the first time I took control of my life. 
I won’t let them sneak back in and take it back. I won’t let anyone take
that from me. 
The lingering, unwelcome caresses of the flashback make me less-than-
happy about his sudden appearance when I’m already upset with the boys. I
steel myself as I sneer up at him. “What do you want, Ash?” 
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Just wanna talk.”
“Oh, you can talk now but you couldn’t earlier when I asked you all a
simple question? Funny, that.”
He rolls his eyes and walks over to the bed—not even a little
intimidated by my bad mood—and gives me a nudge. “Shut up and move
over.”
Ugh, he’s so assertive. 
Why do I like it? Down girl, down. We’re supposed to be mad at him.
Sighing and letting some of my anger dissipate, I shuffle over to the side
of my full-sized bed to make room for him. We can’t lay shoulder to
shoulder like we did when we were little without half falling off the bed
now. He’s way too massive for that so I end up laying on my side facing
him, while he lays on his back with his arms stretched behind his head. 
I put my hand on his stomach and marvel at the feel of his smooth skin,
and then shake him slightly to get his attention. 
“Earth to Ash. What do you want? I was trying to go to sleep if you
haven't noticed. Lights were off. I was about to attempt to become a human
burrito in my comforter.”
 He continues to lay in silence up to the point that I think I’ll need to
repeat myself again or gently extract the words from his mind like I used to
do when we were growing up.
Ash and I bonded over our mutual trauma growing up. One night when
Beth held me on the recliner, trying to soothe my tears, Ash had timidly
come up next to me. He placed his small hand on my own and said, “I’ve
been hurt too.” 
That moment had helped me feel like I wasn’t alone in my living
nightmare, like I had someone who truly understood my pain. We’ve had a
deep understanding of each other ever since that night. He’s been able to
open up to me more about it over the years, preferring to speak to me
instead of the others about the details.
What can I say? I’m nurturing as fuck.
 My heart broke for him every time he struggled to communicate with
us while growing up. His foster parents had whipped him anytime he spoke
when he was not directly asked a question, even though he’d been so little,
unaware of how to communicate properly.
His scars have faded to small, white lines with time, but they are still
very much there. His flashbacks are near nonexistent now, like my own, but
I always try to be empathetic and help him through his moments when he
falters.
 “Hale told us about your conversation tonight,” he finally says. “About
you acting like you don’t have deeper feelings for us. That’s why we were
laughing, Lana.” 
My mouth drops open with a sharp intake of breath. This can’t be
happening. Why would they laugh at that? Am I a joke to them? 
In a rare moment of my facade cracking, I feel my eyes burning as tears
stream down my face silently. I knew this wouldn’t work and now they’re
laughing at me.
 Wanting to turn over to hide my sorrow, I push my hand against his
stomach as leverage to get away. As I go to turn over, Ash’s own hand grips
mine, halting my retreat. He places it over his heart. 
Sniffling softly, I still at the movement. Under my palm, I can feel the
erratic beating of his heart. It mirrors my own.  
What the fuck does he have to be nervous about? Breaking my heart?
  “Fuck, I’m terrible with words. You know this. We know you want
something more than friendship. We know, because we feel the same. We
were laughing because somehow, you really think we can’t see it. We might
be dumbasses sometimes, but we aren’t blind, Lana.”
 My breathing ceases all together and my eyes widen at his words. 
They’re interested in me? All of them?
“I … I don’t know what to say, Ash,” I confess, feeling emotional
whiplash.
I truly am at a loss for what to say to him. What do you say when the
one thing you’ve been wanting your whole life finally has the chance to
become a reality? It seems like a dream, everything I had hoped for. And
yet, it seems too good to be true.
The walls I’ve built to hold them back can’t just be dissolved with a
snap of my fingers. Plus, I have so many damn questions.
How will we move forward as a group with these changes? Will I have
to choose only one? Will I be able to handle the physical aspects that come
with a relationship?
 My mind is currently on information overload and I need at least three
tequila shots and an hour of acting like he didn’t actually just say that,
before I can even begin to process what this all means.
He removes his hand from mine and pulls my body closer slowly,
giving me a chance to stop him at any point. He drapes my leg across his, as
the feel of his hand on my bare skin sends delicious shivers through me. 
 Thank God I remembered to shave my legs this morning. Or should I be
thanking the Goddess?
He tucks me into his side with my head lying on his shoulder and it’s
the most intimate position I have ever been in with a man willingly, having
not given any other guy the time of day before to get to this point.
With my body flush up against his like this, I can’t help but appreciate
the hard lines of his body and the warmth exuding from him as my hands
roam his chest absentmindedly. This fine specimen of a man wants me? 
  “You don’t need to say anything. We don’t need to figure it all out
tonight. Go to sleep.” He plants a kiss on the top of my head, making
butterflies erupt in my stomach at the rare display of affection. 
He’s the least affectionate of all of them, choosing to use sarcasm as his
form of affection, much like me. I never take it personally, of all people, I
get it.  My heart’s beating a million miles a minute, but I know I’m not
ready to delve deeper into this, emotionally or physically, so I allow myself
to relax into Ash’s warm body.
I could definitely get used to this.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Three

OceanofPDF.com
 ASH

There’s a pleasant warmth against my side. 

I sigh in contentment and snuggle closer to said warmth, moving my
head to get comfy. Something featherlike brushes my nose, making it twitch
as a sneeze threatens. I could pinch my nose to suppress it but that will
require moving and sneezing is much more satisfying than moving. 
Achoo! I sigh at the immediate relief.
“What the fuck!” a loud feminine voice screeches next to me as my
source of warmth writhes. 
I jump at the noise, my hands flying to cover my ears. Good lord, that
was a piercing sound! I didn’t know we were homing a banshee! Wait…
My eyes fly open to take in my surroundings. White furniture, cream
comforter, white, fuzzy pillows. A sense of doom overtakes me. 
Why the fuck am I in Lana’s bedroom? I should not have a fucking
raging hard-on in Lana’s room. 
Morning wood is such a fickle bitch.
The memories of last night filter through my sleep-addled brain and a
chorus of fuck’s and fuck the guys starts sounding off in my brain. I’m
probably the worst of our group at talking about feelings and the fuckers
still voted for me to tackle this last night. How fucking embarrassing.  
 Maybe they were hoping she would take pity on me as I stuttered to get
the words out. But instead of fucking halting and faltering, my mouth
spouted out the worst case of verbal diarrhea. 
At least all of my—no, our—feelings for this beautiful woman are
finally out in the open. 
I give myself a mental pat on the back for how well I ended up doing
last night. Well, besides the part where she cried because of me. I wince at
the memory of hurting her, however briefly. 
“Ash, did you just sneeze on my fucking face?!” 
Oh fuck, Lana’s the banshee. 
My dick’s tenting my shorts. How the fuck am I supposed to handle this
situation? She’s not supposed to see this yet! We need to ease into the
emotional side first … I think. I don’t know how this shit works!
“Uhhh … I’m sorry?” I say, unsure. “Your hair must have tickled my
nose.” What a sad attempt at an apology that was, even to my ears.
A light vibration shakes the bed.  I peek over my shoulder to see Lana
laughing silently and feel the corners of my lips lift as the sight. She is so
damn beautiful. 
As I watch, her silent laughter turns into full-on belly laughter and she
goes from looking like an angel to looking like a screaming hyena—a cute
one, though—as she clutches her stomach. Tears stream down her face. 
Her adorable laughter aside, why the fuck is she laughing? How did her
mood change so quickly? Is she on her period? I can’t very well stare at her
groin with x-ray vision to see if her uterus is weeping. My face shifts into
what I’m sure looks like a perfect expression of constipation as I try to
figure her out. 
Fuck me. Women are so confusing.
Then it fucking hits me. Stupid! This is my opportunity to escape! I’ve
done my part. The guys can do the rest. I’m sure she already has enough
questions to cover every inch of the four walls of her bedroom. 
 No fucking way am I dealing with that shit alone. Or at all. 
It’s my turn to throw them to the wolf— or hyena— now.
Avoiding eye contact with the deranged predator, I throw the comforter
off my legs and make a beeline for the door. Just as my feet skim the
threshold and sweet, sweet victory stares at me in the face, her laughter
halts altogether. 
“Where are you going, Ashy?” she says in a sickeningly sweet voice
that’s doing bad things for my hard-on.
Not today, Satan. I’m not falling for that.
I can practically hear the wheels in her head turning, stowing a plan to
screw me over with, under her sleeve. I know Lana and her payback for
sneezing on her? Not something I want to be here for. 
Without turning around—isn’t there a rule to not turn your back on your
enemy? Desperate times—I slowly inch my way to the door. “Gotta take a
piss. See you downstairs for breakfast!”
  I hightail it to my room and shut the door behind me, slamming my
back against the wooden door in relief. I sink down the hard surface until
my ass hits the ground. My heart hasn’t stopped racing. I let my head hang
down and take in a deep breath when the guest of honor waves at me from
beneath my shorts, begging for attention.
Well, hello there, dick. No, I haven’t forgotten that you want some
attention from her. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together, buddy. I
resist the urge to pat my dick in a comforting motion. 
Fuck me, I’m as deranged as she is.
I put my hand underneath the waistband of my shorts and fist myself
tightly. Using my precum as lubricant and my dreams about Lana naked in
my bed as inspiration, I rub once and groan. God, what I want to do to her
body. I want to hear her moan my name as I—
“Boys! Lana! Breakfast is on the counter. I’ve got to get to work now.
I’ll see you tonight!” Beth’s loud declaration fills the house and I almost
bang my head against the wall. She may as well have thrown an ice bucket
over my head and boner. 
It’s just wrong to hear the voice of the woman you consider your mom
and then continue to try and rub one off after that.
Sighing dejectedly, I remove my hand from my dick and pick myself off
the floor. I grab the first shirt and pair of shorts that touch my hand and
don’t reek, and head to the bathroom. Throwing my clothes on the counter
and turning the shower on, I strip my shorts and boxers off before I step into
the shower—
And am instantly assaulted by what must be water directly from the
fucking Arctic ocean. 
“Ahhh! Fuck a duck! What the fuck!” I yell as I hop out of the shower
before my balls shrivel up to the size of raisins. Grabbing a towel, I wrap it
around the family jewels to give the poor guys some warmth.
I sounded like a girl, whining.
Giggling sounds from the outside of the door and I groan. 
Lana. 
Sly, vindictive woman. 
I’m never going to hear the end of this. 
Hoping a little bit of groveling can procure some hot water, I swallow
my pride and simultaneously place my balls in her purse. “Lana … I’m
sorry for sneezing my bodily fluids onto your gorgeous face.” 
Wait … fuck. Don’t do it, Ash. Don’t do it. Do not think of your other
body fluids on Lana’s face. 
My dick hardens right back up. Here we go again. 
Well, that was a waste of an unexpected cold shower.
“That was a shit apology, Ash, However, I’m feeling generous.
Therefore, you may have your hot water back. You’re welcome,” she says,
all high and mighty. “You owe me! Don’t forget it.” 
 Oh, thank God. I’d give the woman anything she wants at this point, if it
meant getting the hot water back.
Note to self: do not sneeze on Lana again, even if it’s an accident.
Lesson learned.
Steam begins to rise in the room. I sigh and step into the shower,
enjoying the scalding heat against my skin. 
I look back down at my poor, tortured friend. Let’s try this again. 
Fisting my dick, I pump with slow motions, groaning, thinking about
finishing on that beautiful face.
I am not about to walk around with blue balls all morning.

Zedd

Lana skips into the kitchen, a great, big, Cheshire cat grin on her face,
basking in the glory of a successful prank and Ash’s panicked yell. A
matching smile stretches my lips. 
Early in the morning, she came into my room, still in those tantalizing
sleep shorts and white camisole that left little to the imagination. She
bounced on my bed like an excited puppy, rubbing her hands like a villain
as she told me her plan. Personally, I thought we could have done without
the demonic laughter at the end but Lana’s nothing, if not dramatic. 
Since she’s never turned off the water heater before, and doesn’t even
know where it is, she very nicely requested that I do her ‘dirty’ work for
her. And why wouldn’t I? So I marched down to the basement, eager to
obey, my mind on all the other kinds of dirty work I could do for her.  
What can I say? I live to serve.
In the face of the joy radiating from her, my heart swells. I bet Ash
wouldn’t be so pissy if he saw the look on her face right now.
 She’s changed into faded jean shorts and a white t-shirt, prioritizing
comfort over style. Her copper hair cascades down her back in soft waves,
framing her delicate features. Without even trying, she would put Aphrodite
to shame. Her beauty constantly leaves me speechless. Over sixteen years
later and I’m still fumbling like an awkward preteen in the presence of a
supermodel.  
She throws me a cheeky smile and a conspiratorial wink over her
shoulder, making me blush. But she’s too busy sipping her coffee and
sighing in pleasure to notice. What I wouldn’t give to be the one to make her
sigh that way… 
Not that I would know the first thing about how to make that happen.
After the conversation last night with the guys, I’ve been thinking about
what my relationship with Lana will look like. Out of all the guys, I’m the
only one who didn’t try to date while we were growing up. I’d always
known that she was it for me so I’d waited, hopeful.
The downside is that I have no experience with women because of it.
My lack of experience in the ‘bedroom’ department has me feeling both
insecure and a hint of pride that I held out for my girl. Well, you win some,
you lose some. 
I just hope she appreciates the sentiment, rather than thinking I’m
pathetic.
Currently, I’m hoping Ash didn’t butcher the message last night when
we sent him to her room like a sacrificial lamb. We all voted for him to be
the messenger because she has a soft spot for his communication issues.  
Curious to see if he had mustered up the courage to talk to her about
what we decided, I walk up to her, casually grabbing a cup of coffee and
beginning the conversation like it’s no big deal. Nope, nothing to see here.
“So, how was your night?”
She looks up at me, mischief hidden carefully behind her doe eyes. I’m
sure she thinks she has it tucked away but I can see it. “Oh, it was fine.
Same old, same old. Just a normal Tuesday night.” She waves her coffee-
holding hand, causing the drink to slosh in her cup. “How about yourself?”
My brow furrows. Where’s that mischief coming from and what does it
mean for us? Deciding to not push too far without conclusive evidence, I
say, “Didn’t sleep that well. I was up tossing and turning all night.”
“What a shame. I slept like a rock,” she smirks.
Our conversation cuts off as the rest of the guys, except for Ash, join us
for breakfast. 
I move away from Lana and start prepping the coffee for our fellow
caffeine addicts. We’ll need more than one pitiful pot to satisfy everyone’s
needs. 
We should really find a way to put this stuff into IV bags to save time.
As the coffee brews, the silence of the room registers in my brain.
Strange. Why aren’t the guys talking? I watch as they shove their faces with
the bacon, eggs, and toast that Beth left for us. Within minutes, the food’s
been decimated. It’s like they inhaled it.
And they might think they’re sly but I see the glances they throw Lana’s
way through breakfast. For her part, she just turned away from the group
and leaned lazily against the counter, her cup of coffee hovering over the
empty sink in a light grip, as she surveyed outside. 
I can’t hold back the smirk as I enjoy the show. I lean against the
counter, watching my group of chickenshit friends as they watch Lana like
she’s a bomb waiting to go off. It’s as if they’re hoping they’ll be able to
read her mind to see if Ash talked to her. 
Cowards. I didn’t do much better but at least I asked how her night
went. Better than this lily-livered group! Who thought I’d live to see the
day I’d be the brave one? 
Reveling in the welcome turn of events, I let them simmer in the
excruciating suspense. Might as well join Lana in whatever game she’s
playing and see where it leads us. 
 If she does know, then she’s really trying to make us squirm. But that
bodes well for us. Her playfulness, being her normal cheeky self—that’s the
best reaction I could have hoped for. I was worried she’d hide behind a
mask, like always. 
“So, what should we do today, guys?” I ask the group, breaking some of
the tension in the room.
Lana stands on her tiptoes and leans closer to the window. She hums, as
if in deep thought. “It’s hot as fuck. No chance of rain.” Bouncing on her
toes, she continues with tentative excitement laced in her words, “I say we
go swimming at the lake today to soak up this fan-fucking-tastic weather!” 
As she observes the sky, all of the guys—including myself, because I’m
not a saint—have our eyes glued to her perfectly-round ass as it jiggles with
her movements.
She’s definitely giving us something to observe.
“Yeah,” Hale says absentmindedly, as he cocks his head to the side for a
better view. “Great weather we’re having outside.”
“Yup,” Luke adds, squirming in his seat at the sight. “That sun sure
looks, uh … bright.” 
“What they said,” Leo finishes, his hands clenched on his lap as he tries
to hide the erection in his shorts.
Fucking hell. What a train wreck. These guys are the experienced,
‘smooth’ ones? Hiding their boners and fumbling over their words.
I’m counting my lucky stars at my ability to restrain my physical
reactions, unlike the rest of the guys. This is nothing new for me. I’m used
to holding back my boners in front of Lana, I’ve had years of experience.
The rest of them though—well, they aren’t doing so well at hiding their
baser instincts when they’re too busy wondering if she knows how they feel
about her. All laps, except for mine and Lana’s, are covered with hands or
plates, like that’ll do anything to conceal it. 
 “Did you assholes leave me any food?” Ash growls as he walks into the
kitchen before immediately stopping at the sight of the beautiful view
we’ve been blessed with this fine morning. It’s stopped jiggling now but
she’s still on her tiptoes so it’s taut and looks so fucking delicious.
Lana spins around at the sound of Ash’s voice and the guys snap their
heads to various directions to avoid being caught. Ash switches his gaze to
meet her eyes, pretending he wasn’t staring like the rest of us. 
“I put a plate in the microwave for you, Ash. I knew they’d plow
through the food before you got a chance to come down.”
Ash smiles softly at her and she returns it, a pale blush staining her
cheeks as she looks down at her cup of coffee and takes a swig.
Ahh, there’s the conclusive evidence. Ash definitely had the talk with
her. I knew it!
“Lana decided that we’re going to the lake today,” Hale says. “Pack
some towels. We’ll head out whenever you’re done with breakfast.” He
stands to head upstairs, keeping his hips firmly pointed away from Lana.
I roll my eyes. Because that’s not suspicious at all.
“We’ll go change and get the supplies together,” Luke says on behalf of
both of the twins. With a speed I didn’t know they possessed, they slide out
of their chairs and follow Hale upstairs.
Them, gathering supplies? The conspiracy theorists were right. The end
is near. 
Tweedledee and Tweedledum are normally the sloths of the group and
we typically wait for them to finish getting ready. Lana always jokes that
they’re the real girls of the group with their beauty routines.
Knowing full well what Lana’s doing now, I turn to look at the little
minx after the cowards clear the room. She looks at me with those beautiful
blue eyes, specked with hazel. “I hope your conversation with Ash went
well last night. Please know that we all care about you and will respect
whatever you’d like to do from here.” 
 She stares at me, shocked that I called her out. 
I continue, “Oh, and your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell the others
that you know. Have your fun.” 
Her mouth drops open and the blush on her cheeks deepens. I walk
away, making my way upstairs as the sound of Ash’s deep chuckle rings
behind me. 
This is going to be an entertaining day. 

Hale

The twins’ thumping footsteps quickly follow me up the stairs. Fucking

hell, they’d put an elephant stampede to shame. I open the door to my
shared room and usher them in, closing the door behind us. 
We need to figure this situation out. Now.
Speaking low enough so that my voice won’t carry through the door, I
launch into the thoughts knocking around in my head, pacing around the
room. “Do you think he told her? Did he back out? Fuck, of course it would
be like him to get nervous and back out. I knew I should have been the one
to go to her room last night.” 
The twins share a worried look before facing me with identical
expressions of concern on their faces.
Luke takes a small step backwards as Leo speaks in a tone you’d used
on a skittish animal, eerily calm. “Listen, Hale. You’re always the calm one
among us so I’m going to need you to stop with your girly meltdown. My
brother and I need to reclaim our spots as the drama queens. Do you think
you can do that for me?” 
Get it together, Hale. He’s right. It’s just Lana, not a tornado
threatening to engulf your town.
 When we first became a group as kids, I immediately and naturally fell
into the leadership position. My first foster placement was a military home
and they were extremely strict about controlling emotions and making sure
we always acted impeccably, even at a young age.  Apparently, I didn’t live
up to their perfect expectations, so they sent me back to the group home but
not before my innately calm and collected personality was ingrained. Being
sent back was the best thing that happened to me, though. Now, I’m still the
leader of our little family, even with the world falling apart around us, so I
have to make the right choices. I never make rash decisions and, so far, it’s
worked in our favor. 
About a year ago, we all admitted our feelings for Lana to each other in
private. It was around the time of our last birthday when it became terribly
clear that not only were other guys approaching her for dates, but we were
also becoming scarily territorial over her as those assholes showed up. The
idea that those fucking frat guys thought they deserved her after screwing
around with half the town? Fucking made our blood boil. Our small state
college was full of sleaze balls.
We’re not saints by any means—well, except for Zedd, who hasn’t even
talked to a girl romantically—but we’re much better than those idiots. Since
then, we haven’t looked twice at another girl. 
However, just admitting it wasn’t enough. It seemed taboo to have
feelings for the girl we’d grown up with and was technically our foster
sister. We needed time to accept our feelings towards her and time to mature
before we were worthy of her. 
Even now, we’re not worthy of her, but it’s time to show her we want to
put in the work to make this happen. 
Zedd was the one who clued us in back then. Unlike the rest of us, who
were busy seducing other women right in front of the girl of our dreams,
Zedd’s entire focus had been on Lana. He sat us down and forced us to start
paying attention to the looks she gave us, to the way her face fell when Leo
hugged a girl or Luke flirted with one or I paid a little too much attention to
a classmate. When one of us went on a date, the ones left behind noticed
how she trudged around the house, pretending to be upbeat but nowhere
near her normal energy levels. Her smile would fall as soon as she thought
we weren’t looking. 
Hearing how upset we made her was enough to make our hearts drop
but seeing it? Torture. 
Without needing further prompting, we grabbed our heads and tugged
them out of our asses. Those other women had been flings. We’d never
connected with them. We were done hurting her to pursue something
temporary. No more. It might have taken us some time to figure it all out,
but now… Now we’re ready for the rollercoaster of emotion our girl will
undoubtedly take us on. 
My Little One.
Everything has changed in the past year for us, since it became
astonishingly clear that our feelings were reciprocated by her, even if she
still doesn’t want to admit it.
Last night, after the bonfire and our conversation, we decided to lay the
decision of how our future will play out at her feet. She deserves our
honesty about our feelings towards her. We’ve taken the leap off the cliff…
now we just need to see if she’ll jump with us. Whatever happens, this will
be a big change for the group, but we made out decision and fate is in
motion.
When she walked into our not-so-covert covert meeting and accused us
of talking about boobs and vaginas last night, we collectively snorted at the
ridiculous notion. The only boobs and vagina we think about are hers but
she’s blind to the effect she has on us. 
The memory of those sinful shorts and revealing tank top, the way she
crossed her arms, pushing her perky tits together in defiance, the outline of
her nipples through the white top—delectably sinful. I suppress a groan as
my body tightens further. 
But we still don’t know how the conversation went so we’re walking on
eggshells—or if it even fucking went. 
I’m sure he pussied out. She’s acting just as she has every other day of
the last sixteen years. Where are the nerves or the discomfort we were
anticipating and preparing to break through? 
But no, she goes for typical Lana unpredictability and throws us for a
loop. Acting completely fucking normal. 
I breathe in deep to center my thoughts and blow out a shaky breath.
The fall of my chest takes my anxiety with it and I nod to myself. “Okay.
I’m good.”
“Finally!” Luke says, and then swoons dramatically onto his twin. Leo’s
not quick enough to catch his brother so they both stumble to the ground.
“What shall we do, brother?” He drapes himself over his brother’s lap.
“Sugar Britches owns my heart. It bleeds for her! I feel I may burst from the
uncertainty that plagues us. I must know if she reciprocates my”—I shoot
him a reprimanding look and he backtracks—“our feelings or I may … uh,
kicketh the bucket. Mine own poor heart shall cease its very beating if it be
true the lady does not loveth me.”
Leo places his hand over his brother’s heart. “Oh, brother, steady.
Steady. I suffer with thee, the agony and uncertainty. But we might not but
persevere! For the sake of our love, we wilt. And if the lady does not
returneth our love, I shall prepareth our graves.”
I groan. “Who the fuck told you drama queens to take Shakespeare in
college?” 
Instead of responding, Leo joins his forehead with his brother and his
body shakes with a theatrical sob. 
Scoffing at their utter ridiculousness, I read between the lines to their
truth. They have a habit of resorting to humor when things get too deep but
I know they’re scared at how she’ll react.
Whether she’ll accept them. 
“Well,” I say, clapping my hands once to break them out of the
impromptu play they just performed for me. “I think the best course of
action would be to talk to Ash first—just in case he backed out and didn’t
tell her. If that’s the case, we’re worrying for no reason.” I will beat the shit
out of him if he wussed out. 
“Until we know for sure, we need to act normally. Zedd doesn’t seem
concerned—not that we can read the guy most days—so we can trust that
he’ll not let anything slip. Let’s just go to the lake and try to find a moment
for one of us to get Ash on his own and find out what the fuck happened.”
Ending with a satisfied nod, I’m certain the plan will work. I look up to
find the twins looking at each other, smirking, eyes twinkling. 
Fuck. That can’t be good.
Not sure if I even want to know, I still ask. “What are you two
plotting?”
The smirks quickly morph into full smiles. Suddenly, they’re all wide-
eyed, trying to look all innocent. Lana may call them her angels, but sinless
darlings, they are not. 
“Whatever do you mean, Hale?” Luke chirps from his position in his
brother’s lap. “We heard your plan.”
“Mhm!” Leo hums in agreement, nodding violently like his head may
fall off. “Sounds foolproof!” 
Groaning at their failed attempts to be subtle, I give in to my
unavoidable fate. No way these guys are following my plan. 
I finally collect my thoughts like they asked me to and come up with a
solid plan … and then they choose to ignore it. Shitheads.
Moving to sit on the edge of my bed, I give them a stern look and a
warning. “Don’t screw this up for us. Tell me the truth so I’m not the odd
man out when your plan inevitably blows up in our faces.”
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Four

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

Holy monkey balls, that was an intense morning. 

I woke up feeling  flustrated—read: flustered and frustrated—as hell.
My night was filled with vivid group sex fantasies that played my body like
a fine-tuned instrument. Yes, group sex.
Somehow, my mind skipped over solo, vanilla sex straight into orgies.
Honestly, you’d think I was a temptress, not a virgin. 
But the part that shocks me the most is the absence of nightmares
despite the sexual dreams. In the past, if I ever had a dream about another
guy, I’d immediately fall into a flashback of Rafael. But with these boys,
my mind must have known that I could trust them. My faith in them is
unbreakable.
I blush at the memory of the most adventurous fantasy in my dream.
Let’s just say, I have two hands, three holes and five dicks to accommodate.
We can make it work. 
Waking up to Ash was like reality kicking me in the face. Broaching the
subject with the rest of my guys isn’t a fun prospect. 
Wait, my guys? Fuck, I’m already a goner.
I’d stayed tucked up next to him, trying to cling to the dream world
where I was their Queen, where I didn’t have to have the talk. 
 He’s big and warm, like my very own teddy bear protector. When he
snuggled into me, my heart melted. It was so adorable, so comfortable—
Until the dude sneezed on my face. 
Talk about a mood killer.
Watching the boys squirm was punishment enough for putting me
through all that insecurity shit last night. They should know better than to
play with me like that! I also don’t quite feel ready to talk about it, so I’m
gonna pass.
Feigning ignorance is what I do and, in this instance, I’m dying to see
how long I can prolong the inevitable.  
The truth is, this is a huge mental leap for me to make. For so long, I’ve
talked myself out of my feelings for them. Now I have to suddenly accept
that they like me and want to pursue me? Growing up, I’d dealt with the
guilt of having feelings for my ‘foster brothers.’ Never in a million years
did I think this day would come. 
A girl needs a moment to process. I can’t just throw myself at them, as
nice as that would be. 
I’m not blind. I’ve caught Zedd glancing at me a few times. I’ve
wondered if it’s affection in his eyes but I’d convinced myself it was just
platonic. 
The rest of the guys—I’ve watched them date and flirt from the
sidelines. Eventually, I clued into the fact that I needed to put myself out
there with other guys. 
That didn’t last long though. Epic fail.
  After a few dates and even less awkward make-out sessions, I called
the whole thing off. I realized I was trying to force a spark with someone,
anyone, in the hope of feeling the same way I did for my guys and that just
wasn’t fair to myself or the men I attempted to date. 
So, I committed myself to biding my time, hoping my feelings would
dissipate the longer I waited, the more I saw them with other women. I
noticed that they stopped dating around the same time I did but, back then, I
didn’t think too much of it. I’d just assumed they’d run out of their ‘type’ in
this small town.
Now though, with what Ash had told me, it makes sense that they had
likely stopped dating because of me. 
About time they pulled their heads out of the sand and realized what a
snack I am. Actually, more like a thanksgiving feast. 
Wait a minute…
I stopped dating last year! 
They kept their feelings from me for a year? Fucking assholes.
Pissed off at the secret keeping while I was out here swearing off men
and considering taking a nun’s vows, I decide they’ve earned some more
payback and I know just how to dole it out. 
Bikinis. 
I want to make them notice me without coming off as trying too hard.
Toying that line will be difficult but I have a motto to live by: classy, not
trashy, but just a little bit nasty. 
After trying on a few sets, I settle on a light blue piece that accentuates
my curves just enough to make them look twice. Or maybe a lot of times—
that’d be cool too. They deserve to be tortured for the blue lady balls
they’ve given me.
I check out my ass in the mirror from multiple different angles, twisting
to do the stance to check my butt out. And promptly causing a sharp pain in
my lower back at the position. 
I groan as I bend over and touch my toes to stretch out the kink in my
back, as a loud bang on my door almost topples me over. 
“Lana, are you ready?” Hale yells through the door.
Though he can’t see me, I place my palm over my chest to calm my
heart and huff, “Were you trying to knock or were you trying to detach my
door from the wall? A few raps with your knuckles will do the trick next
time.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’ll be fine. We’re all ready. Just come on down when
you’re set to go.”
Mocking his “yeah, yeah, you’ll be fine” to myself calms me down. I
never claimed to be mature. “Okay, just give me a few minutes. Oh! Make
sure you guys pack the salt and vinegar chips! I have dibs.”
Laughter, receding footsteps and along with an indulgent, “Okay, Lana.”
Taking one last glance in the mirror and feeling satisfied with my
choice, I slip on my clothes over the bikini and slide into the sandals. On
my way out, I grab my bag of essentials. I debate whether to pick up my
‘phone’ as an essential item but decide against it. 
Growing up, we saw far too many families with their faces glued to
their phone screens, ignoring the memories they could make together.
Perhaps it was the fact that we had terrible families until we made our own
here, but the guys and I made a pact to avoid using them as much as
possible. We decided to truly enjoy our time together and be present in the
moment.
It’s go time, baby. 
Oh wait, perk up the girls.
Reaching a hand into my top, I adjust my boobs to push them up and
together, maximizing their appeal. I’d say they’re an average C cup—perky
and attention-grabbing, but not enough to make their eyes bug out of their
heads like some of the girls I’ve seen them bring home. 
Now I’m ready.
Maybe trying to get their attention with my body isn’t the best way to
gauge what they’re thinking but it sure as hell will be a confidence booster
and that, I could really do with.
Men think with their cocks, not their brains. I want to see how much
they want me and I’m not above playing a little dirty.
 Bouncing down the stairs, I notice quite a few eyes glued to my boobs
as the girls jump with my steps. I give myself a mental pat on the back but
don’t let my pride show.
This is going to be easy. I wonder how far I can push them today?
As I come to a standstill in front of them, I take the guys in, dressed in
their swim trunks. A heat builds within me at the sight of them and I clench
my thighs together at the rush of desire. I’ve always been attracted to them,
obviously, but I’ve never allowed myself to really look.
This is the longest I’ve ever ogled them. After last night with Ash, I
can’t stop myself from eye fucking every single one of them. Talk about
flustrated again.
“Ready to go?” I chirp at the group, dropping my gaze to survey the
bags they’ve lined up and our cooler. 
When no one responds, I look up to them trying to act like they weren’t
checking me out. 
Idiots.
Clapping my hands together, I draw their attention to my eyes, not my
boobs or the wall or wherever else. “Hello? Do you guys still understand
English? Are we good to go? To the lake? To swim?”
A chorus of answers in the affirmative follows.
“Are my chips packed? I am seriously craving those bad boys.”
Hale chokes on a laugh before answering. “Yes, your … bad boys are
packed.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Ha. Ha. I see what you did there, buddy. Good
one.
When he smiles innocently at me, I hum before clapping. “Great!” I
point towards the door. “Autobots, roll out!”
“Are you ever going to come up with a new phrase?” Leo asks from
behind me.
 Whirling around, I narrow my eyes at him and lower my voice. I bet I
look fucking menacing right now. “Do you have a problem with the best
cinematic phrase to ever grace this planet? Be careful how you answer.”
He has the nerve to roll his eyes at me as if I’m being dramatic. 
Me? Dramatic? Never.
“Juicy Fruit, you’ve been saying that same phrase for the past five
years. Maybe it’s time for a new one?” Luke says, turning my scathing glare
to him. 
I’m marveled at the steel balls they have to insult Transformers like this.
To my face. No hesitation. 
Wait a second … Juicy Fruit?
The indignation gives way to confusion and I furrow my brow at Luke.
“That has to be the oddest nickname I’ve ever heard. Are you implying I’m
plump like a fruit? Do I need to lose weight or something?”
“No!” all the men yell collectively.
I clap my hands over my ears at the sudden yelling. Okay. Let’s drop
that one for now. 
But this isn’t over.  I’m putting my foot down on this nickname.
“Okay, okay,” I relent before glaring at the twins and pointing my finger
at them. “But do not insult Transformers ever again! Or else!” 
Luke rolls his eyes, taunting me. “Yeah, because we’re sooo scared,
Juicy Fruit.” 
I glare at his audacity, not giving him an inch until he starts shifting
nervously under the heat of my gaze. Seems the guys think they can get
away with anything now that we’re almost, sort of, maybe … dating?
When Luke turns his eyes away from me, appropriately uncomfortable,
I nod my head. “I’ll remember this, boys. I’ll remember this.”
Ash snorts. “Make sure you check your shower temperature before you
get in. Trust me.”
 Zedd and I chuckle at his warning. I strut up to my partner-in-crime and
hold my fist up for a bump. He obliges and we end with the universal sign
for fireworks.  “Booyah!”
“Wait!” Luke exclaims. “Was there a prank without us?” 
Leo yells, “The horror!”
My eyes crinkle with a smile at the two lunatics.  
“Alright,” Hale says. “Let’s head out before it gets too late. I don’t want
to have to rush back to make curfew. You can settle your differences in the
water.” 
Dutifully, we all pick up a bag and head out the door to make the trek to
the lake.
Most of the places we like to go are easily accessible on foot. Walking
also allows us to be out in nature for longer, which we all love. So, when
Beth offered to buy us a used car to get around easier, none of us felt the
need to take her up on the offer but she still went ahead with the plan. 
It mostly sits idle in the garage, except for when there’s a storm in the
forecast.
Being out in the natural world brings a sense of peace to our group.
We’ve discussed it a little but for me, being out here with the trees, the lake
—it fills a piece of me that longs for something greater, something I can’t
quite seem to grasp.
I have a sneaking suspicion it’s the same for the men.
As summer break comes to an end and our senior year of college looms
ever closer, our opportunities for relaxation will be few and far between. It’s
the reason I decided on the lake trip today. It’s slightly further out than our
normal stomping grounds but definitely worth the walk. This is exactly
what we need before all the stress of coursework and exams overwhelms us
soon.
“So, school is starting soon. Have you guys finished enrolling in
classes?” I ask, not particularly thrilled at the prospect.
 “I’m all set,” Zedd answers, sounding almost bored. “I don’t have a full
course load this year because I’m slightly ahead.” 
Ah, my little bookworm. His brain is so attractive to me. 
Because of the long list of advanced placement course credits, he had
from high school, he skipped a lot of the intro classes in our freshman year
of college. He probably could have graduated last year, but I think he held
off to stay with us.
Ash scuffs his feet against the dirt road, scattering rocks. “I’m thinking
of taking the year off.” 
The twins nod and clap him on the back. “Same.” 
Wow, what? We only have a year left.
I look over at Hale, lost in thought. Poking him in the ribs to get his
attention, I ask, “What about you?”
“I enrolled but I’m also struggling at the thought of having to go for
another year.” 
I’m reeling from these revelations. I didn’t even see this coming. 
Did I?
“Do you guys ever feel like you’re just missing something?” Ash says,
wistfulness heavy in his voice. “I can’t describe it any better than that.
School just feels pointless in the grand scheme of things. Most people don’t
even use their college degrees anymore.” 
Though Ash being the one to vocalize this catches me off guard, I’ve
been feeling the same way recently. I’d just chalked it up to not being
excited about school or nerves.  
“Yes.” I didn’t realize when I opened my mouth to answer. “I do.” 
“I think we all do,” Leo says, sounding much more serious than his
usual playful self. “I feel like the only time we’re truly happy is when we’re
out in nature, exploring together.” 
As we make it to the outskirts of the town, I shake off the weird mood
and bounce slightly on my toes with every step. We can discuss the heavy
stuff later—or not. I’m good with that too. 
I’m just excited to get into the lake to cool off and swim.
“Hey, whore!” 
I resist the urge to groan at the yelled taunt, instead settling on rolling
my eyes. Justin, the town’s resident dick. Not wanting to give him a second
of my time, I continue walking forward. 
But apparently, the guys have a different plan.
“What the fuck did you just say, Justin?” Ash spits out, taking an
aggressive step towards him.
I place a hand on Ash’s forearm. “Just leave it. He’s still mad at me
because I rejected him freshman year.”
My guys stop walking, completely ignoring my words, as they form a
cohesive unit in front of me, obscuring me from Justin’s view.
Cavemen. The lot of them.
His words don’t bother me. 
I’ve known since he first asked me out that he’s just an insecure
dickwad. Watching him interact with people elicits a full body cringe every
time. He thinks belittling people is cute and believes he’s untouchable
because his mommy is the Mayor. So, when I rejected him, he took my
verbal ‘no’ as a kick to the nuts. 
Stepping to the side so I can see him once more, I shiver instantly.
Everything about him, from his personality to his greasy dark hair to his
eyes so dark, they look like a blackhole, repulses me to my core. 
“Oh, was I not loud enough for you?” he says, the disdain clear in his
voice. “I said your shared plaything is a whore. She acts like she’s too good
for anyone else, even though you guys have been passing her around your
whole lives. She isn’t worth shit.” He spits on the ground and it lands just
near the guys feet.
Oh shit.  Though his words mean nothing to me—I’ve heard the same
sentiments from many rejected men—I know this is going to rile the guys
up.
Masculinity is such a fragile thing. I’m good enough for them as a
‘whore who spreads my legs for everyone’ but the minute I turn them
down, they act like I’m a leper they wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
“I suggest you shut your jaw while it’s still intact,” Hale warns, ice
lacing his words. 
Oooh, territorial Hale. I like.
“Oh yeah? What the fuck are you going to do about it?” Dude’s clearly
looking for a fight. It’s like it gives him a high. He has a nasty habit of
abusing his mom’s title and there’s no way I’ll let the guys get in trouble for
something as stupid as this.
“What am I going to do about it? I’m going to rip your sphincter from
your asshole and shove it down your throat, so you choke on your own shit
smears,” Ash spits out vehemently.  
My hands fly to my mouth as I choke on a giggle.
Well, shit, Ash. Tell me how you really feel.
The twins are standing with clenched fists, looking like they’re
moments away from pummeling this asshole's face into the dirty ground.
Justin holds his arms out, cocking a brow at Ash, daring my man to
fight him. “Easy to talk. Prove it, tough guy.”
Ash instantly steps forward, not backing down from the challenge. I go
to stop the Neanderthal from ruining our damn day but Hale’s arm is
already there, shooting out to hold him back. 
Despite Justin’s role in provoking, I know that my guys will be the ones
in trouble if this gets physical. No freaking way. Time to step in.
I step out further to the side to wave and get Justin’s attention, smiling
sweetly at him. When his eyes turn to me, I saunter over to him, swaying
my hips seductively. His pupils dilate at the sight of my bouncing breasts.
This will be fun.
 Standing right in front of him, my guys behind me, I run my finger
down his chest. “If I’m a whore being passed around, then what are you
worth, Justin? How long have you been chasing me for? This whore did
turn you down three years ago, didn’t she?”
Chuckles sound from behind me and my shoulders relax at the evidence
of them calming.
Justin tenses and seethes, “That was before I knew you were worth less
than the shit beneath my boots.”
Jutting my chin up, I lock eyes with him. “Oh, so we’re calling it like
we see it, huh?” I smirk. “My turn. You’re an insecure bully who flexes his
mommy’s power to make up for a dick that’s smaller than a raisin. A real
man wouldn’t need to rely on that for protection every time he picks a
fight.”
His cheeks stain red and he splutters at the words before finding his
tongue. “What you think doesn’t matter, whore. Run along and enjoy their
dicks in your loose vagina, if you can even feel anything down there.”
My smirk widens and I pat his chest. “Oh, I’ll enjoy them. Don’t you
worry.”
I give him my back and turn to my guys, who look both shocked and
amused. 
Men say they like a girl with personality. Luckily for them, I have
multiple. Keeps them on their toes.
I refuse to let Justin’s words bother me. People have whispered about
our relationship since high school. Sure, it used to bother me but all I have
to say to them is, thank you for putting the possibility of a poly relationship
in my head. Their disdain and whispered words say more about them than
us. 
Their opinions only matter if we let them and wasting our energy on
people like that isn’t on my bucket list. Like Luke always says, opinions are
like assholes. Everyone has one.
 I grab the first hand in my reach, which happens to be Zedd’s and lead
him away from the drama. The rest of the guys follow as I march along, a
little skip in my step. We’ve got shit to do and a lake to enjoy.
Once Justin is out of earshot, Zedd squeezes my hand. “I’m proud of
you, Lana. It took a lot of maturity and guts to stand up to him in that
manner.” 
I beam at him before releasing his hand and putting on a confident vibe,
dusting off my shoulder. “Why, thank you. I surprise myself constantly.” 
A quiet moment settles over the group as we continue towards the lake.
I run a few steps ahead as the small forest that surrounds the lake comes
into view, the overhanging branches from the large trees swaying in the
breeze. The lake is just past the woodlands.
Before I can stray too far from the group, someone latches onto my
hand, halting me in my tracks and turning me to face them. 
Hale stares back at me, worried. “Lana … you know we would never
think of you like that, right?” 
I squeeze his hand and nod. “Trust me, I know.”
A sharp jerk on my other hand makes me topple into a hard body. I look
up to crystal blue eyes, soft blonde hair and a freckle on the tip of a nose
taking up my entire line of sight. I glare at the offending idiot. “Luke! What
the hell? Are you trying to rip my arm off? I’m not a fucking doll with
detachable body parts.” 
He pouts down at me. “Come on, Juicy Fruit! You can’t just hold Hale’s
hand. It makes me feel left out!” Groaning at the nickname, I try to pull my
hand from his, but he tightens his grip like an anaconda with its prey.
“Come on! Sharing is caring!”
I relent. “Fine! But give me a new nickname. I know you have a million
ideas in that brain of yours.” I pause for effect before presenting an enticing
offer. “I will hold your hand for the rest of the walk if you do.” 
 His eyes light up. “I want you to hold my hand and skip with me all the
way to the lake, like we used to when we were little. Then, and only then,
will I change your nickname.”
Deal. Before he can come up with another stipulation, I start skipping,
dragging him along with me, making him trip. “Woah, hold your horses,
Juic—” 
I glare at him and he mimes zipping his lips.  
The rest of the guys chuckle at our antics and I swear I hear someone
mumble, “I’ll give her something to hold.”
Slightly shocked at the forwardness, but also very intrigued, I yell back
at the mystery culprit, I shoot back, “Bring it on! Apparently, my vagina is
loose enough to hold five!”

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Five

OceanofPDF.com
 LUKE

Lana skips ahead of me by a step, hand-in-hand, giggling like a schoolgirl

as the lake comes into view. I glance over watching as a flush stains her
cheeks, her hair bouncing with each step. 
Breathtaking.
“Okay, Luke,” Lana says, pulling to a stop at the side of the lake. We
left the rest of the guys ten steps behind. “As requested, I skipped with you
and did not release your hand. Time to hold up your end of the deal.” 
I know she secretly loves my nicknames, even if she pretends that she
doesn’t.
Though I’ve promised to let Juicy Fruit go, it’s truly a fitting nickname.
She’s ripe like a peach and I want nothing more than to taste her on my
tongue, her sweet juices dripping down my chin as I eat her. I won’t let a
single drop go to waste. 
Who knows? Depending on how today goes, maybe it’ll be her birthday
present tomorrow.
“Fine. I will no longer call you Juicy Fruit.” After a moment of
consideration, I regally state with a flourish of my hand, “I hereby dub you
the Queen of Hearts.” 
The title feels right in me, feels right on my tongue. She’s owned our
hearts for most of our lives, in one way or another. Always a friend,
hopefully now as more. It took us too much time to accept the way we feel
about her, I don’t intend on wasting any more.
As planned with my brother, I want to slowly prod her. If Ash told her,
there’s no way she can keep up her normal act for long so we’ll pry it out of
her with displays of affection. If he hasn’t told her yet, then this sets the
stage for the ‘big reveal’ and makes our intentions clear. If she doesn’t
know, the whole situation may get really awkward at the sudden change of
pace from us, but we’re willing to risk it for the biscuit.
She stills at the new nickname, likely shocked that it isn’t something
absurd as usual. 
I drop to my knee and grab her hand. Locking eyes with her, I brush my
lips against the back of her hand in a featherlight kiss before lowering my
forehead to rest where I kissed her. “My Queen,” I say.
None of this feels like a joke to elicit a laugh. It feels like it’s soothing
that part of me that we’d been discussing on our walk to the lake—the part
that yearns for something more, something bigger than our life so far.
I look up to a beautiful pink tinting her cheeks as she smiles down at
me. For once, she doesn’t say a word about the new nickname, and I give
her a big cheesy smile in return. 
It’s only taken the majority of my life to find a nickname she approves
of. Better late than never, I suppose.
The sound of branches crunching under feet and male voices has Lana
pulling her hand back from me. She drops the bag she’s carrying as the rest
of the group finally comes ambling over, busying herself with setting up for
the day. 
Oooh, I smirk at the sight of her deepening blush and her fidgeting
hands. Someone’s getting shy. 
It’s going to be so much fun when we really amp up the heat.
“So, who’s up for the rope swing challenge against me today? Any
takers?” she lays down her challenge with her usual sass and when no one
responds, the little vixen arches an eyebrow at us, a dare in her eyes. “Or
are you all scared?” 
She doesn’t need to know that we let her win most of the time. We’ll
take that secret to the grave.
“I think I’m going to sit and read under the tree,” Zedd says. That’s his
typical activity when we’re out in nature, preferring to get lost in his books.
He’s never been one to show off or engage in Lana’s issued challenges. 
Dude’s a genius. One day, he’ll save all of our asses with that brain of
his. I just know it.
Ash grunts that he’s hungry and Hale agrees, deciding to set up the food
and eat, even though we just had breakfast before leaving the house. 
Well, that’s boring. 
A lightbulb moment hits me and I look at my brother, smirking at him
and relaying my idea in a silent conversation. When he grins at me, I know
we’re on the same wavelength and I wink at him. 
I look at Lana. Did someone order a twin sandwich? 
It’s our time to shine.
Leo paws the ground like a bull, syncing his animalistic grunts with the
movements, and Lana looks up at him. Her eyes go wide at the display and
she starts taking slow, hesitant steps back. Before she can take more than
three steps away from him, he charges at her and scoops her up over his
shoulder, making her squeal in surprise. The water bottle she was holding
drops to the ground as she goes ass up in the air. 
“Leo! Put me down!” 
He sprints towards the platform holding the rope for her issued
challenge and I jog after them, wishing I was the one with a face full of her
ass like my twin. Damn him.
“Leo!” she yells again.
A resounding smack sounds in the air, followed by her surprised yelp. 
 Chuckling, I quicken my pace to catch up. I can’t miss her face at the
ass smack doled out to her by my brother.  
Thwack! Thwack! 
I can’t hold back the bark of laughter that erupts from me at her
returning the favor to his ass. Fuck, this woman is meant for us.
“It’s only fair, Leo!” she says loudly, responding to whatever his
smartass response was. “If you can dish it out, you can take it back
twofold!”
When he reaches the platform, Leo drops to one knee, releasing his hold
on Lana’s legs. She stands up easily from the fireman carry, keeping one
hand on his shoulder. She presents the other hand to him gracefully, turning
her nose up at him. Her wavy hair is a mess, her face flushed from hanging
upside down. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful or as refined as her in all
my life.
Well, if I erase the memory of the belching contests or her head in a
toilet bowl after a long night of drinking tequila.
She’s perfect.
“According to your brother, I am now the Queen of Hearts,” she
declares, her back straight and her nose still up in the air. “You may kiss my
hand to show your allegiance.” 
Naughty Queen, you’ll be getting far more than just your hand kissed.
Leo laughs deep and low, glancing at me. “Did he now?” He turns his
attention back to Lana and grabs her hand. “I suppose I must oblige then,
my Queen.” In a whisper of a touch, he presses a kiss on her skin, the tip of
his tongue grazing. 
I grab her hips in a light grip from behind and drop my lips to her
tousled hair. "How can we service you, my Queen?" The warmth of my
breath caresses the shell of her ear.
A sharp intake of breath from her is her only response until her body
slowly relaxes and she leans against my chest. She’s sure to feel my hard-
on, tucked up against her ass in this position. Slightly nervous to see her
reaction to my physical arousal for her, I lightly stroke up and down her
sides with my fingers. Her body shivers, causing her ass to lightly jiggle
against me. My dick twitches at the feeling, clearly wanting more.  
Down boy, down.
As she further relaxes with my words and touch, my brother leans
forward to kneel on both knees. He lightly runs his nose up the inside of her
leg, breathing in deeply.
“Just as I always dreamed,” Leo purrs quietly.
She grinds back into me at his words and my grip on her hips tightens at
the sensation. I nuzzle into her neck, taking in her natural floral scent.
So, the little minx likes dirty talk. 
We can work with that.
Lana suddenly tenses and straightens to shake us off her. Obliging in her
unspoken request for space, we back off immediately.
“I will let you know if I require any other services, gentlemen. For now,
I’m ready to whoop both of your butts in our contest. I’ve perfected my
cannonball since the last time. You can’t throw me off my game that
easily.” 
With that decree, she saunters up to the rope, her hips swaying back and
forth, mesmerizing us in the process.
Chuckling and looking over at my brother, I ask, “That sounds like a
different challenge altogether, right, brother?”
He smirks devilishly. “It most definitely does.” 

Ash
“So they think they can seduce her into admitting her feelings?” I ask,
incredulous. I’ve just finished telling Hale about my talk with Lana and he’s
relaying the twins’ scheme as we finish setting the food out. 
He sits down on the ground, looking exasperated yet amused. “Yeah,
that about sums up their brilliant plan.” 
Joining him on the ground, I lay back and snigger at the twins’ typical
antics. Really, we should’ve seen this coming. They find it easier to express
their emotions physically, rather than verbally. 
We’re similar, I suppose, in that way.
“Well, how do you think that’s going to go?” I ask Hale, just as the
twins enact their grand scheme. Leo rushes Lana and she jumps before
falling into Leo's fireman's carry.
Giving us  a nice view of her ass up in the air. 
I’d like her ass up on my bed more though.
“You’d probably know better than me after being with her last night.” 
A smack sounds in the air, snapping our attention to the trio.
“Did he just smack her ass?” Hale asks, picking his jaw up off the
ground. 
“I think so. Lucky motherfucker. Maybe their plan wasn’t such a bad
idea.” 
Hale snorts in agreement.
For the past few months, my fantasies have been getting wilder and a
little more daring. I’ve been dreaming of turning her ass pink until I feel the
sting on my palm. Somehow, I just know she’ll love it.
When she submits to me in private—she’ll learn that I’m the real alpha.
My cock jumps and I snap myself out of it, coming to, sitting and
picking some food from the feast laid out in front of us. 
I can’t push her too quickly. 
Last night, holding her as we slept, it meant more to me than I will ever
admit to anyone. I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a dull pencil and
twist it. But to myself, I can admit that having Lana’s soft curves pressed
against me all night is something I could get used to. 
A shadow crosses over me and I look up to find Zedd lowering himself
to sit cross-legged next to us. “She doesn’t seem to be backing down from
their advances.”
Their advances?
I look towards the other half of our group, my eyes widening at what I
missed while I was lost in my thoughts.
The twins have Lana tucked up between them, looking more than a little
intimate. Her head is leaning back almost imperceptibly, and I bet if I could
look into her eyes, her pupils would be dilated in lust.
Well, shit. Maybe I won’t have to wait as long as I thought to turn her
ass pink.
Hale huffs in annoyance. “That didn’t take them long.”
I smirk at the envy in his words. “Oh, don’t start with the jealousy,
dude.  You’re just upset you didn’t have the balls to do that yourself. It
could have been you she was tucked up against.” 
Hale’s always so calm and collected that it’s refreshing to see him a
little flustered.
Our girl definitely has that effect on all of us.
Our girl. 
I like the sound of that. 
These four—they’re my brothers. The only guys I would trust to treat
Lana the way she deserves. I have no hesitations in sharing her with them.
“We’ll all handle this differently. I prefer subtler methods but to each
their own.”
There’s a hint of fear in Hale’s words that Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected
is trying to hide. He may be more experienced with women than Zedd but I
think he’s hesitant to get physical and likely worried she’ll reject him if he
doesn’t.
 But I also know Lana. 
Knowing it’s all in his head, I clap him on the back. “We’ll all be just
fine.”
I should be a professional motivational speaker. 
“Trust me, I’m probably more nervous than all of you,” Zedd adds. “I
haven’t even kissed a girl before. I’m going to look like a total buffoon.” 
“I’m not the most experienced either, believe it or not,” Hale supplies.
Really? I look at him in a different light. He’s gone on plenty of dates,
so I’d always assumed that he was as experienced as me and the twins. 
I grab a turkey sandwich from the spread around us and mutter, “Well,
at least you guys can appeal to her emotionally. You’ll both win her heart
over faster than the rest of us.”
Before they can respond, I shove the sandwich in my mouth to avoid
speaking any further on the matter. 
I chew, observing our surroundings and the beautiful, clear, blue sky.
Hale cracks open a water bottle, drawing my attention. “So what are we
going to do to make her birthday special tomorrow? Something is different
this year. We need to come up with a plan.”

Zedd

After we brainstorm ideas for Lana’s birthday, the guys end up settling on
mine. We agree that she’ll love it but it needs to be a surprise or she’ll
sabotage, for the sake of sabotaging. Little imp. 
That also means that the twins can’t know until the last possible
moment because they’re the worst at keeping secrets. Their feelings for
Lana—they can keep that to themselves, no problem. But something like
this? Not in a million years.
 Though in Lana’s head, we all share the same birthday, for us, the day
will always be about her. She’s as determined to celebrate us as we are to
celebrate her, but to us, nothing is more important than her happiness.
Behind the tough, sarcastic façade she wears like an armor, she’s kind,
patient, and giving. Always has been. 
It’s there in the consideration she shows Ash when he struggles with his
words, or when she indulges the twins when they avoid conflict. In the way
she defers to Hale when she can see he needs a confidence boost. I see how
she appreciates me. How she reminds me that I’m worthy of her love by
just existing. 
As only a preschooler, she was ready to share the one day of the year
that was for her, her day, to ease the sadness that we felt at losing any
memory of our identity. Her true character is there for us to see, even if it’s
hidden behind a curtain sometimes. 
“Boys!” Lana yells over at us. “This pair of sore losers are trying to
cheat again. I need impartial judges!”
Hale and Ash share a grin as I agree on our behalf to judge—we all
know there will be no impartiality when Lana’s involved. 
Over the next hour, the twins and Lana give us a true performance.
Across the board, Lana receives perfect tens, while the twins always fall
short, of course. 
She’d rather die than admit it but of us all, she’s the sore loser. After she
lost a foot race when we were ten, she cried like she was mourning a death
and went on a hunger strike for twenty-four hours. 
What do you know? She hasn’t lost since. Yet somehow, she never
made the connection.
None of us could bear causing her pain, even back then. 
It also doesn’t hurt her score that her lightly-tanned skin is gleaming in
the sunlight and her copper hair looks perfect against her pale blue
swimsuit. Or the tantalizing way her body curves when she launches herself
into the water. 
Seeing her in her swimsuit is a feast for my eyes. As she swings on the
rope, her full breasts sway with each movement, taking me back to the view
of her in that tank top last night. The image plagued my dreams and to no
one’s surprise, I woke up with a raging erection. 
Thankfully, I have my own room to handle my needs. I don’t know how
the hell the other guys manage with no privacy. Maybe that’s why they take
so long in the bathroom.
When the competition is over to Lana’s satisfaction, they join us for
lunch. Before we attack the food, we pile her plate up high with far more
than she’d need.
After the spread is gone and we’re left with nothing but crumbs, I make
my way back over to the shade of my favorite oak tree, book in hand, as the
rest of them lay on their towels to soak up the sun. 
Though we have different interests, they never make me feel like the
odd one out for being a bookworm.
I lose myself in the world of dragons as the world around me fades. I
don’t notice anyone approaching me until the book in my hands is swiped
away. Startled, I shoot upwards to find the culprit, only to see Lana’s
mischievous face.
Instantly, I calm down and smile back at her. Unlike earlier at lunch,
she’s back in her shorts and shirt, so I’m not as flustered by her closeness.
She’s watching me closely and I can feel that the situation may become
awkward if I don’t say something. Has it already? I’m comfortable without
saying a word around her but I know she may struggle with my quietness. 
Hesitantly, I offer, “Care to join me?”
She beams at me and curtsies, eliciting a smile from me. “I’d love to.” 
This girl is really something else. I never know what she’s going to do
next.
 She drops down next to me, her arm brushing against mine, sending
tingles where we touch. Those tingles spread and spread, turning into a
threatening heart attack, when she leans her head against my shoulder. 
This is not the kind of affection that I’m used to from her. 
What do I do? 
Do I put my arm around her? 
Would that be weird?
She interrupts my inner turmoil with a giggle. “Chill out, Zedd! You’re
so tense.”
Taking a deep breath in and blowing it out, I give myself a pep talk. 
You’ve got this, Zedd. Just reach up and put your arm around her.
Nothing weird about that.
Not wanting to give myself time to back out of the decision, I jerk my
arm up and put it around her. In quick succession, I try to pull her closer to
me but use too much force and instead of resting on my chest, she falls face
first in my lap. 
Holy. Shit. 
No one has ever been this close to my dick, besides me.
Her breath is warm and my dick twitches at the first hints of attention.
She’s just lying there, likely in shock, frozen, because I’m such a fucking
disaster.
Just as I make the decision to drown in shame after I’ve saved her from
my clumsiness, she starts to laugh and the vibrations make me shiver. When
she puts her hands on my leg to push herself, I almost groan because
fuuuck, my dick likes all of this.
By the time she’s back in a sitting position, I’m beet red, looking
forward to death and doing my best to keep my hands away from her. “I’m
so sorry, Lana!”
She smiles softly at my horrified face. “It’s okay, sweetie. Let’s try this
again. Put your arm up.”
 Following her request, I lift my arm and she tucks herself up against my
side, laying her head on my chest.
I still feel nervous about screwing this up somehow but a tense body
can’t be a comfortable resting place so let out a deep breath and force
myself to relax. I let my arm hang against Lana’s side and lean back against
the tree. 
This feels damn good. 
I’ve waited a long time for this and wondered, more than once, if it
would ever happen. Patience is indeed a virtue. Life can’t get much better
than this.
I close my eyes and doze off, enjoying the warmth emanating from her
and the cool breeze in the air. 

Leo

A sharp, stinging sensation on my cheek jerks me from my nap. I come to,

disoriented, and absentmindedly wipe the tingling skin. 
When I pull my fingers away, they’re smeared with blood and I sit up,
startled, looking for the cause. Searching the area around me, I find a large
pellet of hail, the size of a dime, and my heart drops. 
Oh, shit. 
I glance up to a gray sky, filled with angry storm clouds, completely
blocking out the sun.
“Wake the fuck up!” I shout at the guys near me. Without waiting for
them, I rush over to the tree where Lana and Zedd are dozing, immediately
dropping to my knees and shaking her awake as gently as I can in my panic.
“Lana, baby, open those gorgeous eyes up. We have a problem.”
 Her eyelids crack open and she looks at me, sleep lingering in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hailstorm. We need to find cover immediately.”
Lana and Zedd bolt upright, gathering supplies, rushing to get
everything essential together with panicked movements.
“Think about where the closest shelter is!” Hale yells. “We don’t know
if a tornado will follow. The sky could open up at any moment.” 
We all share nervous glances, struggling to come up with an area that
can provide the safety we need from this storm.
“There’s nowhere!” Zedd shouts back, struggling to hide the fear in his
words. “Closest underground shelter is in town!”
“Fuck!” Ash cries, drawing our attention to him. His hand is against the
back of his head when he pulls it away, blood stains it.
“Ash!” Lana calls, dropping the things in her hand and rushing over to
him. 
Hale catches her by the hand before she can get far, pulling her to a stop
and rushing to get his words out. As we gape at the situation we’re in, he
lays his plan out to protect us. “We need to take cover immediately. Drop
everything, grab your towels and run over to the tree line! Use the towels to
cover your head!”
Dropping the items without a second thought, we sprint to grab our
towels and run towards the designated area, just as thunder booms
overhead. I look over my shoulder to make sure Lana’s okay and see Luke
holding her hand so she doesn’t fall behind.
She’s okay. We’re okay. 
As we’re rushing towards safety, two-hundred feet from the dense
woodlands, the sky opens up and the hail batters down as if determined to
cut us open. Cries sound off from behind me but there’s no time to look. All
I can do is pray no one is seriously hurt. 
 Almost there, I tell myself as I pass under the canopy of trees. Ignoring
my own wounds, I whirl to check on Lana, covered in a towel Luke’s
holding over her head as they dart into the cover of safety. 
  She looks unharmed but my brother isn't so lucky. A deep gash runs
through his eyebrow and blood gushes from the wound into his eye. He
drops the towel, his hand immediately going to the injury and he hisses
from the sharp bite of pain. 
Hurrying over to him, I apply pressure to the wound to staunch the
bleeding. “Shit, Luke. This is bad.”
Lana screams in frustration, standing with clenched fists like she’s
holding herself back. Tears stream down her face. “Why didn’t you protect
yourself?! I could have held my own towel! You’re hurt because of me!”
He looks at her, his face a bloody mess, sincerity shining in his eyes.
“My Queen, I’m not hurt because of you. I’m hurt because of the hailstorm.
I shielded you to the best of my ability because you are more important to
me.” 
Damn, we’re so in love with this girl. 
That’s the most emotion I have ever heard my twin convey out loud.
Lana doesn’t respond but continues to sniffle, as she snatches the towel
he dropped onto the ground and cleans the blood running down the side of
his face and neck.
As she cleans him up and I try to stop the bleeding, I take a minute to
make sure the rest of the guys are okay. I say a ‘thank you’ to the skies that
they’re good.
“We need to get a little further in,” Hale says, his breathing a little
labored—from the sprint or the panic, I’m not sure. “If the wind shifts or if
the hail gets bigger, it’ll easily break through the tree canopy. We’re not
safe at the edge like this.” 
“Hale will keep us safe from the hail,” I cheekily announced to the
group. “No worries, guys.” 
 Luke chuckles next to me, drawing a glare from Lana. “Good one bro.”
“Oh, shut up, Leo,” Hale hisses as we follow him into the trees.
Come on, that was funny.
“You know I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to crack a joke,” I mutter,
hoping I didn’t offend him. “It’s what I do when I’m nervous.” 
“It’s okay. Let’s just focus on what we’re going to do if the storm gets
worse, okay?”
As if he’s freaking clairvoyant, the wind starts howling, making the tree
branches swing erratically. Some branches drop all the way down to half
their length with the force of the gusts. 
Fucking hell! 
“Group together and duck down! Put Lana in the center and cover
yourselves with your towels!” Hale barks out over the wind.
“No!” Lana yells at Hale, her hair whipping around her. “You are not
putting me in the center. Protect yourselves!”
Hale grabs Lana’s arm and pulls her close, growling at her, “Not the
fucking time, Lana. Get your ass on the ground. Now!” 
“Lana, please,” Zedd pleads as she stares defiantly at Hale. 
At his desperate plea, she glares at Hale one last time before turning
away from him, her shoulders slumping as she crouches near the base of the
tree. We surround her, kneeling to the ground, placing our arms out with our
towels around the circle, creating a cocoon around Lana and our heads.
Please just let this be a hailstorm. I don't think we’d survive a tornado
out here.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Six

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

I’m fucking seething. 

My breaths coming heavy in frustrated pants as they crowd around me
like I’m some fucking damsel in distress. All of a sudden, their dicks want
in me and I have to bow down in front of them without a word? No fucking
way.
Why can’t they see how precious their lives are to me?
Indignation and dark thoughts swirl in my mind as I stay burrowed in
the middle of their cocoon, like we’re in a team huddle, giving each other a
pep talk before the big game.
I wonder if they’ll let me smack their asses and say, “Good game,”
when this storm blows over. That might make up for me wanting to throttle
them right now. Fucking men and their cavemen behavior.
They have literally known me my whole life. I refuse to let them treat
me like some fragile princess in a glass tower now that deeper feelings are
involved. 
I’m their motherfucking equal, dammit.
The wind howls around us as the tree branches sway. Zedd’s knee slips
with the force of the gust and Luke pulls him by the arm before he can fall
to the ground, blood still steadily flowing down his face. My own blood
boils in my veins at the sight—and at the feel of them flinching away as
they undoubtedly get pelted by the debris being thrown around the air.
They can’t cover themselves when the majority of their towels cover
me. 
Before I can swallow the rage, it consumes me and bursts out of me,
louder than the wind tunnel that traps us. “Stop protecting me!” 
“Sit your ass there, Lana! I mean it!”
“Hale! I’m not some precious china that will be broken!”
“No, you’re not. You’re so much more than that, Lana! We can’t lose
you!” 
Ugh, he’s such a bullheaded Neanderthal! 
Though my heart swells at the way they care about me, I shake my
head, refusing to accept them getting hurt because of me. I glare at him.
“You guys are my family. You’re priceless to me. So, suck it the fuck up
and protect yourselves first! Don’t fucking test me on this.” 
Hale scowls right back at me, reading my eyes before his shoulders drop
with a defeated grunt. Fucking finally. He knows when enough is enough
apparently.
“Drop to the ground in the fetal position and cover yourselves with your
towels over your—”
“Fuck no!” Ash yells. “She comes first.” 
“Now, Ash! I’m not asking.”
After a tense moment between the stubborn asshats, the group shifts to
their new positions. I follow suit and cover my upper body and head to the
best of my ability with the pathetically thin towel. 
Ash obeys but sticks close to me, laying in front of me, as close as he
can. Though it will do little to protect me, at least he’ll feel a little better
about the situation.
Who would have thought we’d get hit with a possible tornado the day
before our birthdays? 
 Happy fucking birthday to us.
I wait with bated breath for the raging storm to pass, anticipating some
semblance of pain because there’s no way I’m getting out of this
unscathed. 
So, when a sharp, stinging sensation travels up the length of my spine as
I get hit by, what I can only assume, is a branch, all that escapes me is a
harsh inhale. I duck my head so Ash can’t see me and bite down hard on my
lip to avoid alerting the guys. A copper taste coats my tongue and warmth
trickles down my chin.
Dammit, they’re going to give me hell for this later. 
Refusing to draw their attention, I continue to cradle my head with my
towel, praying to the sky that this passes. I think back to Gaia, Beth’s
Goddess, and decide that this is the perfect time to pray to the Goddess of
Earth. 
Our own version of an outdoor service? I think, trying to find some
humor in the situation. With a deep breath that pulls at the wound on my
back, I pray. 
Please, Gaia. If you can hear me, spare these men from this destruction.
Hurt me if you must but please don’t injure them.
Tears leak down my eyes, unbidden, at the thought of one of them not
surviving this assaults me. If this gets any worse—
Stop it, Lana. Pull yourself together.
As I pull the fear back inside me, a soothing sensation envelops my
heart. Almost immediately, the wind begins to ease. I peek out from a small
slit in my ripped towel. 
Leaves float around us, drifting in the air before settling on the ground,
as trees come to standing tall once more. As a silence descends around us, it
feels unnatural, unhuman. The destruction that had ripped through the forest
abates in just seconds. 
I don’t need further proof.
 I bow my head, acknowledging the higher being. Thank you for hearing
me. I won’t forget this. 
The warmth that I had felt in my chest as I prayed to Gaia spreads
through my body and I feel a strange sensation of being heard. But that’s
crazy. 
Right?
Hands brush my back and I flinch from the pain I couldn’t brace for. 
Oh, shit. Here comes a different storm. A shitstorm.  
“Lana, are you okay?” Zedd says, worry in his voice. “Are you hurt?
Why did you flinch away from me?” 
I lower my towel and look into his concerned hazel eyes. My body
relaxes from tension I hadn’t realized I was feeling. He’s okay. I lift my
hand and caress his cheek for a second before turning to check on the
others. 
Other than Luke’s previous injury, everyone only has superficial
wounds and all the tension seeps out of me. They’re okay. 
“Lana,” Ash says, irritation already in his voice as he anticipates my
answer, “Why is there blood dripping down your chin?”
Bracing myself for the fallout, I say, “Uh… I bit my lip?”
Zedd sighs, Luke and Leo facepalm and Ash’s eyes narrow,
suspiciously. 
Though my back screams at me, I take a moment to process the fact that
we’re all okay, that they’re all here, behaving as they always do because
they’re okay.
This could have been way worse. 
It’s hard to find a balance between living our lives while accounting for
the unpredictable natural phenomena that plagues our world.  
“Why did you bite your lip that hard, Little One?” Hales asks softly.
I turn my gaze to Hale, wondering how to word this so I don’t piss them
off. “My back was hit by a branch. I didn’t want to alarm any of you after I
made a point about protecting myself.”
I know they heard what I’m not saying because the silence that follows
my truth is deafening.
“Lana,” Hale says, a sigh in his voice, before shaking his head like he
gives up. “We need to have a good, long chat when we get home about your
place in all of our lives. I know Ash told you where we stand on our
feelings for you. So, you need to decide on our way home where we stand
in your life.”
I still, not daring to take a breath, half grateful that he let the current
situation go and half nervous as hell about the looming conversation. 
Am I ready for this? 
Can I handle all of their feelings for me at the same time?
“Ok…” I mumble, trailing off, unsure what to say.
Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I get up as quickly as my back allows
when a hand falls on my shoulder, pausing my movements. “May I?” Leo
asks softly, wanting a closer look at my wound.
I nod for him to go ahead. 
When he grabs onto the hem of my shirt and pulls it up, the shirt grazes
against my wound and I try my best to hold in the cry that wants to escape.
Instead, it comes out as a pathetic yelp that’s camouflaged under the sharp
intakes of breath that sound from the guys.
Guess it looks as bad as it feels. At least I’m not just being a little bitch
“Lana,” Leo says, concern heavy in his voice. “Your skin has been split
open where the branch hit you. Deeply. We need to get this cleaned and
stitched up.”
There’s not even a hint of his characteristic humor and that in itself tells
me how much he cares about me.
“Ash, Zedd, go back to see if there’s anything salvageable in what we
left behind. Luke, Leo and I are taking Lana to the doctor. Follow us with
anything you grab.”
 “No, we’re sticking together,” I object. “I don’t want to split up in case
it starts again.” I turn to Zedd, “Is the bleeding really bad?”
He looks to Hale with unsure eyes before I arch an eyebrow at him. “I
don’t know, Lana…” When I arch that brow up higher, he sighs. “No, it
shouldn’t be too bad. The doctor may decide you don’t even need stitches.”
When he sees the triumphant look on my face, he rushes on, “But Lana, we
really do need a professional medical opinion.”
I shake my head. “We are not splitting up.”
The guys turn to look at Hale for the final decision, while Hale stares at
me. After a long moment, he drops his head in defeat. I swear I hear him
mumble under his breath, I can’t win a single fucking one today, and I
smirk. 
He motions for us to go ahead so we make our way to the wreckage. 
“Fucking hurry up, everyone,” Ash spits, his gaze constantly straying
over to me. 
We come upon the destruction that was our relaxation spot only
moments ago. Disposable plates and cups, torn book pages and the picnic
basket are scattered across the open field, some of it floating in the lake. It
pains me to see the mess littering this beautiful place so as the guys get to
gathering, I get to cleaning. 
I bend down to pick up the first thing in my line of sight but before I can
even yelp from the pain, there’s a hand on my shoulder pulling me back. I
look into Ash’s jade-green eyes, alight with anger. “Don’t, Lana.” 
I know he’s worried about me so I don’t take offence. Instead, I put my
hands up in surrender and take a step back from the wreckage. The fury in
Ash’s eyes eases. I know it’s mostly a concern, presenting as anger.
“Guys, can we come back and clean this up soon? I hate seeing the trash
everywhere, especially the non-biodegradable items.”
“Yes, Lana,” Zedd says, immediately agreeing, surprising me with the
take-charge attitude. “We can most definitely do that.” 
 The guys split up to search the area and within seconds, they decide
there’s nothing to take home, probably speeding up the process because of
my injury. 
My heart breaks a little when I see Zedd holding a few, torn pages from
his book and looking like someone kicked his puppy. 
Needing to lighten the mood because we didn’t lose anything
irreplaceable—namely, their lives—I say, “Alright, you guys know the drill!
Autobots…” I trail off, wagging my eyebrows to tempt them into finishing
the phrase.
Eyes roll and smiles follow but they all, however reluctantly, mutter,
“Roll out.”
I whoop and punch the air in victory, immediately regretting that when
pain flares down my back. 
As we make our way back into town, a dark, gloomy mood settles over
the group. I try to find something to say to lift it but I’m feeling too shitty.
Even the twins are walking with heavy steps and fallen shoulders.
With every step, I hold back a wince, trying not to draw attention to
myself but walking isn’t easy. But there’s nothing they can do to help me,
so I keep quiet.
The closer we get to town, loud, panicked chatter and the occasional
sound of someone crying reaches us. We share looks of confusion. 
Yes, the hailstorm was rough but surely, not enough to elicit this
reaction.
Still, we pick up the pace, my heart dropping as the sound level grows.
What the hell is going on? 
Cresting the edge of the hill, we get our first look at the desolation that
waits for us, defiant and unashamed. The buildings in shambles, the walls
caved in or completely destroyed, the roofs ripped off, lying in the street—
my heart sinks. People shouting, crying, and a mother on her knees,
keening.
 Is that an arm sticking out from under that large slab of cement? I turn
my gaze away.  
“Beth,” Zedd says, as if he can’t get the words out, his eyes as wide as
saucers. “We need to check on Beth.” 
Without waiting for anyone, Zedd rushes off, leaving us shocked. Hale
follows after him, walking backwards so he can address Ash but not
stopping. “Ash, stay with Lana. Meet us at the DCF office. Beth should be
at work.”
At our acknowledgement, the rest of the guys take off, leaving Ash and
I behind. 
To the sound of grinding teeth, I look to Ash, his fists clenched, his jaw
tight. 
I hate that I’m handicapped right now, that I’m holding him back. 
I place my hand on his forearm, rubbing up and down to calm him, but
inside, I’m freaking the fuck out. “Hey,” I say, letting my hand drift down to
open his fist and interlock our fingers together. “It’ll be okay. Let’s just
hope for the best.” 
I hope he didn’t hear how my voice wobbles or see how I’m barely
holding my tears back. I need to take my own advice because right now, the
thought of Beth like that body under the concrete slab—
I let out a deep breath as a shudder runs through me.
“Yeah,” he says, squeezing my hand.
We walk to the office, hand-in-hand, as quickly as my injury will allow.
On our way, we pass the college.  Fire hydrants spray in the air and most of
the buildings are either decimated or very close to it. 
Yeah, school’s definitely not happening anytime soon. 
I tense further at the sight, my grip on Ash tightening. The Arizona DCF
office isn’t far from here. 
When the office comes into view, I breathe a sigh of relief. Ash visibly
relaxes at the sight of the large, white, Victorian-style building, standing tall
and proud and undamaged.
Thank you, Goddess.
I wait for the warmth from earlier to warm the blood in my veins, but
nothing happens. I knew it was a fluke earlier. A fluke with spectacular
timing. 
We walk up the four steps to the building, through the door and straight
to Gail, the receptionist. She looks up at the sound of our approach and
frowns slightly, the lines in her aging face making her look much more
severe.  
I glance around for the boys but come up empty. That’s weird. 
“They were already here, Lana,” Gail says, almost reluctantly. “They
said to tell you to meet them at the house. Beth took a half-day to go home
and get the house ready for your birthday tomorrow. We don’t know if the
rope tornadoes extended that far before dissipating. We got extremely lucky
that they zig-zagged in other directions here.”
A thousand-pound piece of lead weighs down my stomach. 
Rope tornadoes are the most common occurrence in the open fields
around us, but they have never torn through our town before.
“Do we know how many? Did they all dissipate or was there a larger
formation after?” Ash fires off his questions, clearly struggling to hold in
his panic at the new information.
“Someone reported seeing at least ten funnels when they were out
riding their horse in the corn field nearby. No large one reported so far.”
“Ash, we need to go. Thank you, Gail.”
She nods at me, concern clear on her face. 
I look to Ash, standing frozen, fixating on a spot on the floor. Tugging
on his arm to pull him out of whatever trance he’s stuck in, I say firmly,
“Ash.” 
His eyes dart around before landing back on me and he grabs my hand,
rushing out of the office and dragging me along behind him. He takes large
steps that pull at the wound on my back, but fuck the pain. At least it gives
me something to ground my emotions with. 
Beth. 
I shake my head, clearing the thoughts from my mind.
We pass more destroyed buildings on our way home and my heart
begins beating in my chest a million beats per minute. 
The hospital. The local farmers market. The preschool.
How long will it take us to rebuild?
How many families have lost their homes?
How many people were injured? 
How many lost to us?
I want to stop my feet from working, I don’t want to round the corner of
our street, to face the reality I know awaits, but Beth needs us. I force my
limbs to cooperate, though they feel heavy as lead, and almost fall to my
knees. Tears spill unrestrained down my cheeks as I gasp for a breath. 
Not one home on our street was spared from a semblance of damage. 
Hissing between my clenched teeth at the pain screaming at me, I push
through it, until we reach our destination, forcing Ash to keep walking
when his steps slow in shock.
As the place we have called home for fifteen years comes into sight, I
gasp, freeze and my heart stops. 
I can see straight into the second story of our home, into the remnants of
our safe place. 
Half of my room, Zedd’s room and our joint bathroom has been ripped
away completely. The exterior wall of the kitchen has crumbled down with
bricks scattered through the immediate area. Water sprays out of the pipes,
ripped apart in the wall, soaking the entire first floor.
Our home. 
Destroyed.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Seven

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

“Lana,” is all Ash manages to say before he’s tugging on my hand harder
than before. He climbs through the hole in the wall of the kitchen and I
follow. 
Immediately, I see the guys’ heads in the living room, visible over the
back of the couch from their place on the ground. My heart drops. What the
fuck is happening…
In a trance, I follow after Ash, dropping his hand. An eerie silence has
settled over the room and I don’t want to acknowledge the sniffles coming
from ahead of us. I’m half-glad that Ash’s massive frame is blocking my
view when he stops dead in his tracks. I barrel into him, banging my nose
against the muscles of his back. “Ash, what the fuck?”
“Language, Lana,” a soft voice wheezes.
Instantly recognizing the distorted voice as Beth’s, I rush around Ash
and my blood turns to ice. “No.” 
No, fucking no. This isn’t happening.
My chest feels like it caves in as I fall to my knees, not caring how the
hardwood floors send pain shooting through me at the impact as my hands
cover my mouth. Beth’s head is in Hale’s lap, a large and bloodied piece of
wood sticking out of her chest. Her blood is pooled around them, soaking
his lap, as she wheezes—
 Mom. No.
There’s no fixing this. 
There’s no ambulance that can get through the streets and with the state
she’s in…
The twins sit on the floor near Beth’s feet, a hand on either ankle, their
faces blotchy from crying.
“It punctured her lung,” Zedd says, almost robotically. I’m not even
sure if he knows we’re here. “It’s filling with blood slowly. She’s dr-drowni
—” His words cut off with a sob. 
My hands fall to my sides, lifeless. It feels like my consciousness is
hovering over my body and I have no control over myself as I crawl closer
to her side. 
Full body sobs wrack through me as I grab her hand with my own and
notice that she has no energy to grip back. It stays limp in my grasp. 
“I c-came home to b-bake f-for…birthday.” She trails off, her voice
deserting her.
The sobs come harder than ever before. If she had just stayed at work,
she would be safe. She’s dying because of my birthday. Because of me.
“Beth,” I plead. “Please. I can’t live without you. I need you. I need my
mom. Please.” 
She shakes her head as much as she can with a sad, weak smile. “I-It’s
okay, Lana.”
I sniffle as my tears mix with the snot leaking out of my nose and I wipe
my face angrily. This is not okay. 
The last person who deserves this is Beth. After everything she’s done
for us, for others. 
Fuck her Goddess. She clearly doesn’t give a shit if she can let someone
like Beth die like this. 
With the last of her energy, she wheezes out while staring into my eyes,
“L-love you ... m-more ... always.” 
 Her hand slips in my grip as her eyes gloss over.
“Nooooo!” I howl, prostrating by her body, cradling her hand to my
chest, sobbing into the floor. I can’t breathe through the crushing pain. 
Someone’s hand falls on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but I shoot
up and shove it off. “Don’t fucking touch me! It’s my fault she’s gone.”
Zedd pulls away from me, hurt and shock obvious on his face.
“My Queen, this isn’t your fault. You know this.”
“Shut the fuck up with the nicknames, Luke!”
“Lana,” Ash says in an almost dead voice. “We love her too. We lost her
as well.”
I turn my head, glaring at him, poison in my veins, dying to come to my
tongue. “Did you? Did you even tell her that, Ash? Ever? Are you even
capable?”
Ash’s head hangs down at my words and some distant part of me
recognizes what I’m doing but fuck if I care. 
Hale steps up behind Ash, his hand on Ash’s shoulder, as he looks at
me, disappointed. “That’s not fair, Lana. We all show our love differently.” 
“I know you’re hurting but you’re acting like a real bitch right now,”
Leo spits at me.
“Oh, so now I’m a bitch?”
“Yeah, right now?  You are. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
We’re all hurting. You don’t want us to console you? Fine. But don’t you
dare undermine our relationships with Beth.”
Fuming at the pain of my heart breaking, I tune them out. Fuck this.
Fuck them.
When the warmth spreads through me again, I almost scream in
frustration. Fuck you! I shout to Gaia in my head. 
I cling to Beth’s hand, the tears tracking down my face, blurring my
vision. The thought of the woman who raised me, drowning in her own
blood, dead—
 Just at the edge of my consciousness, I see Hale removing Beth’s upper
body from his lap, setting her flat on the floor, at rest. Ash drapes a blanket
over her lower half and Zedd reaches to close her eyes.  
The guys take turns kissing her forehead, saying their goodbyes, but
they might as well be on a different planet. Their words don’t penetrate my
ears. I’m so deep in the pit of my shock and denial, I doubt I’ll ever be able
to crawl out. 
“I’m going to look through the house and pack any essential belongings.
I’d suggest we all do the same.”
No one voices their acknowledgement of Hale’s words but they move
away regardless, leaving me alone with Beth. 
I can't stop staring at her face, lifeless in death, slowly draining of color.
Where’s the smile she used to have as we baked chocolate cakes as a family
when one of us had a sweet tooth craving? Where’s the wink when she
snuck me the spoon to lick when the boys weren’t looking? 
Memories begin playing through my mind as I continue to sit by her
side.
When I got my first period and screamed bloody murder, convinced I
was dying, she kicked the boys out of the house for the day and threw me a
“period party.” We baked red velvet cake, dyed the lemonade red, and had a
watermelon eating contest. She turned a scary moment into one of the best
memories I have.
When I had flashbacks of Rafael and ran to her room, trembling and
crying, struggling to breathe through the panic attack. She’d pull me onto
the bed, run her fingers through my hair, sing to me softly and promise me
she’d never let him hurt me again, as she rocked me to sleep.  
“Thank you—” I choke on a sob, still clinging to her hand. Taking in a
deep breath, I try again, rubbing my thumb over her skin, trying to imagine
that blood still flows through her veins. “Thank you for saving me. Thank
you for picking up the many broken pieces of my heart and stitching them
back together. Thank you for showing me what real love feels like. What a
family looks like.”
I sit with her for what feels like hours, caressing the back of her hand,
ingraining our last moment together in my head. I pretend she can still hear
me, she can still see me, that her heart still beats with love for me.
That her body hasn’t gone stiff and cold. 
The sun sets without my acknowledgement. Day turns to night and the
bite of the cool night air has me shivering but I just sit there, holding her
hand, head hanging low in a trance. 
Someone shakes me out of my daze.
“Lana,” Zedd says, squatting down next to me, his hand on my
shoulder, “We found spare rooms at a local inn. They said they’ll let us stay
there for free for a few days. We can’t stay here. We’ve packed a bag for
you already.”
I look up at him, half-aware of the words he’s said in the haze of my
mind. In barely more than a whisper, I say, “But Beth…”
He closes his eyes tightly, the lines between his brows furrowing, as his
grip tightens on my shoulder. When he looks at me again, his eyes are
glowing with unshed tears. “We called 911. Someone will be here to pick
her body up and keep her safe until we’re ready. We can decide if we want
to do a burial or a cremation later.” When I don’t respond, he shakes me
lightly again. “Lana, we need to go. We need to get your back looked at
still.”
Numbness settled over my body long ago from not moving an inch as I
stayed by her side. 
Nodding to reassure him, I pull Beth’s hand to my lips and give her a
final kiss. 
I love you to infinity and beyond. I don’t think you can beat that.
While I was with her, someone dropped another sheet next to us. I grab
it and carefully lay it over her, covering her head down to wood protruding. 
 Struggling to my feet on numb, shaky legs, I almost topple over like a
newborn giraffe. Strong arms scoop me up, the scent of cedarwood
penetrates my senses and my head rests against Hale’s warm chest.
My mind begs for the darkness of sleep, for blissful ignorance. For hope
that I will wake up and realize this was all just a terrible nightmare. 
As my consciousness begins fading, his chest rumbles against me as he
speaks. “Grab her bag. She’s lost some blood. I’ll carry her to the inn. Let’s
go.”
Darkness consumes me.

As I come to, I wake in a beautiful field of sunflowers. Only, they’re not

yellow. They’re teal, the same color as a butterfly I saw in my childhood. It
was the most mesmerizing creature I had ever seen and I had decided on the
spot that it was my favorite color. 
 A soft breeze rustled my hair as I run my gaze over the land before me.
A pale pink body of water sits in the distance. Fish that I’ve never seen
before, breach the water and leap into the air, twisting and falling
gracefully. Exotic, unfamiliar birds chirp and sing in the air, dancing and
flying over their water-bound brethren. Nearby, on a field of grass, deer, the
color of Ash’s emerald eyes, graze.
Where am I?
An overwhelming sense of tranquility and belonging fills me. 
I walk through the field, running my hands through the soft petals that I
pass in my path towards the ocean that calls me. I delight in the sensation of
the soft grass beneath my bare feet, not stopping until one foot is on the
sand of the beach. 
How is this possible? I want to pause and think through these doubts,
but the waves call to me. This feels like home. Why would I question
home? 
The warm, pink water tickles my toes and makes me giggle. But water
isn’t pink and it shouldn’t be cold. And when did I start walking again? 
“So,” an ethereal voice says, her voice carrying over the wind, tugging
on my soul. I whirl towards the sound, entranced by the beauty and the
peace it evokes. The water sloshes against my feet, kissing my bare calves.
“It is your time, again.” 
A woman, with the imprint of green leaves and vines running through
her mocha skin, approaches me. With graceful steps, she walks across the
field I had just come from, but she had not been there a moment ago—of
that, I am sure. Her hair is made up of cherry blossom stems that appear as
soft as silk. A glow radiates from her skin and her eyes, a prism of colors,
call to me.  
I see maternal love in her concern. 
Why?
“Again?” I asked, hesitant to speak, evident in my breathless question.
She has a gentle power exuding from every pore, that alights in me a desire
to run to her, to embrace her tightly, as if she is a family member I lost long
ago.
“Yes, my child,” she says in that angelic voice. “You and your consort’s
rebirth. It is time for you to reclaim your title, your powers and restore
balance to your realm.”
Wait … what? I gape at her, unsure if she’s speaking the same language
as me. Powers? My realm? Wait … rebirth?
“Who are you?” I timidly ask, feeling the pulse of her power deep in my
bones.
Her expression softens to one of pure love and, surprisingly, regret.
What does she have to regret? 
“You may not like the answer to that. I felt your hatred for me before
you joined me in your dream world.”
 I’m dreaming? That makes sense. Pale pink water and women with
cherry stems for hair don’t exist. 
I shake my head, unsure. “I don’t know what you mean. My mind feels
a bit fuzzy right now.”
She stands straighter, a regal air surrounding her. “I am the Goddess of
Earth. You may call me Gaia.”
Suddenly, I feel myself denying the pull to this Goddess.
Gaia.
She let Beth die. 
Everything rushes back to me, popping the bubble of blissful ignorance
and naïve entrancement that had fogged my memory. Anger and betrayal
pulse through me as I stare into the eyes of the supposedly divine being that
allowed nature to kill my mom. 
Mother fucking Nature. 
That storm should have been in her power.
“Ah,” she says, a grimace on her lips. “I see you remember now. May I
tell you a little of Beth’s story?”
Not trusting myself to speak to her, I nod.
“That night when Beth’s family died in Arizona, the storm that took her
husband and young son—she was there that night with them, driving. She
died with her family. As her soul was being pulled from her body, it called
out to nature, to Earth, to me. It called to me in a way very few souls are
blessed enough to be able to do.”
I gasp at the revelation, feeling more confused than ever.
“Another God, Thanatos—you may know him as the God of Death—
owed me a favor from an eon ago that I had been keeping safe for a time
such as this. I asked him to spare her and he did. He returned her soul to her
body and I asked the waves of the flood to carry her to a field for safety. 
“You see, Lana, many misunderstand what I am capable of doing. I
create life and nature obeys me, respects me, but nature is a body. I cannot
control all its limbs at all times. I hold a balance. For me to protect Beth and
focus on the water to transport her to safety, my focus on the balance of the
realm suffered for a few brief moments, allowing more disasters.” She
shakes her sadly.
Hanging on every word, I try to expand my mind to absorb all of this
information that’s being thrown at me. Gods and Goddesses being real was
enough of a mindfuck. Now the idea that those beings conferred to bring
my foster mother back to life? 
This has to be a lucid dream. 
Let’s pretend this is real. “Why Beth, then?”
“As I said, her soul called to me in a way few can. Only the purest of
souls can cry loud enough for a Goddess to hear. I saw your birth coming,
Lana. I knew the troubles you would face and how I would be powerless to
intervene. So, I did what I could—I saved a pure soul to serve as a shining
light in the maze of darkness that you would experience in the human
realm. I led her to you, in hopes that she could provide you with the
upbringing you would need to make it through what is to come.”
That’s not cryptic or anything. 
“I call bullshit,” I state. “I’d say excuse my language but I don’t think
any of this is real. If Beth was that important, then why did you let her die
tonight?”
Maybe I shouldn’t sass a potentially real Goddess, some rational—
irrational? —part of me supplies.
“I understand your pain, my child,” she says, grief in her words that has
me wanting to believe that maybe she does. “Beth’s death tonight was
inevitable, necessary to restore the balance in the world. Her time in this
world was borrowed, for a purpose. She was never meant to take you
further than today.  On your twenty-first birthday, your powers are set to
awaken, allowing you to protect yourself. Your consort’s power will also
begin to awaken, providing you with  another layer of protection. Your
journey moving forward would not have allowed Beth to have any part of
it.”
I regard her with suspicious eyes. “So, say I believe all this fantasy shit
is real and not just a hallucinogenic-induced dream … You mentioned
rebirth and powers. Explain.”
Making demands of a maybe-Goddess. Nice, Lana.
I’m either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave but as of now, I’d like to
believe I’m being incredibly logical. Shit like this doesn’t exist. She’s only
in my dreams because I was cursing her before I passed out. That’s how the
brain works, right?
“You were blessed with the power of magic in the Fae realm. As I
protect the Earth realm, you are set to protect the balance of the Fae realm
existing in another dimension. You are an extension of me. I have children
that hold these titles in every realm.”
“Fae?”
“Yes, Fae. A supernatural race. Your kind typically wields elemental
powers on the light side. This would explain your draw to nature, as well as
your consort’s interest in it.”
“Okay. I’m trying to not dwell on one thing so I’m going to continue
asking questions—you know, just in case this is real. You said on the light
side. That means there’s a dark side?”
“Yes … and you have a dark Fae living in the Earth realm. They have
likely been biding their time with their powers bound, as yours have been.”
I open my mouth but she shakes her head before I can speak. “I cannot help
you with their identity, my child. It may change the events of the future.
You must travel that journey on your own.”
“Well, thanks for that,” I snark, “Lots of help.” 
My brain is racing a thousand miles a minute and none of this makes
sense. I huff and fall into a cross-legged position into the now receding
water. Still needing a bit more dramatic, I throw my back onto the sand,
staring at the sky. 
None of this makes sense. Nothing. Why is this place so familiar to
me? 
Wait … my back doesn’t hurt. Is it because it’s a dream?
Before I can weigh the importance of asking, Gaia says, “Your back has
been healing and stitching itself back together as you come into your
powers and absorb the beginning of your magic. You are transitioning into
your Fae form. This is what your realm looks like. I brought you into one of
your memories buried in your soul from a previous life. I wanted you to see
the beauty you will have to fight for.”
“Hmm. Okay, the thing that doesn’t add up to me, is that the Earth
realm has been going to shit the past few decades or so, if you haven’t
noticed. Why aren’t you keeping the balance?”
“When you, my chosen one, died in your previous life, the magic on
your land died with you, throwing your realm into disarray. In your
absence, I have had to try to keep your realm from collapsing under the
dark Fae rule, while keeping the earth realm in balance. I can only do so
much with the power I have,” she explains, without any resentment or
pride. Are Goddesses supposed to be this humble?
 “This is why I have my chosen ones to protect their individual realms.
This is why I need you, Lana.” She lowers herself to the ground as she
kneels next to my sprawled body, her hands folded in her lap. “You will
awaken soon, Lana. There is one more thing you must know. Please heed
my warning.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, okay. Hit me with it.”
“This is the only rebirth you will get. If you fail in this life and the dark
Fae prevail, you will not get another opportunity. Your realm will face the
worst destruction, more so than anything that has occurred in the Earth
realm that you have seen. It will be lost forever. Until you are ready to
return to your realm, you must train every moment of every day to prepare.
When you are able to cross over, then, and only then, will your memories
and full powers return to you.”
“Why were my memories taken from me?”
She shakes her head gently, the flowers of her hair swishing in the
movement. “That is for another time. You do not need to face the sorrows
of your past yet, when you are healing from the sorrows of the present.”
Hesitantly, she raises her hand, stopping in her movements before caressing
my hair in a soothing motion. I close my eyes at the sensation, feeling the
love that Beth gave me, the love I think I remember from my birth mother.
“It is time to wake up, Lana. Call upon me in your sleep and I will try to
reach you.”
Though I am still unsure how real this is, I feel the undeniable urge to
stay with her, knowing she would keep me safe.
“Wait, Gaia—”
My sentence is cut off as my vision fades. A warm hand caresses my
cheek in a parting touch.  
Good luck, my child.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Eight

OceanofPDF.com
 HALE

As soon as the group reaches the inn and we receive our keys, we divide the
group into the three rooms accordingly. The guys can’t quite reconcile the
Lana they know with the Lana that lashed out at them in her grief, uncaring
of their own emotional states, so they’re unsure how to act around her.
To give them time to process their own feelings about the whole
screwed-up situation, I stay with Lana in the first room, while Zedd and
Ash take the second room and, of course, the twins stick together in the
third.  
Though Lana undeniably had a special relationship with Beth, we all
loved her. She was the only, loving, caring parental figure in all of our lives.
We know Lana has the distant memory of her birth mother and can likely
guess they had a loving relationship. But me and the guys? 
Beth was the only source of maternal love for us. For Lana to disrespect
not only our feelings regarding her death, but also our relationship with her
—I shake my head at the thought. Her grief doesn’t give her the right to do
what she did. 
She has a lot of apologizing to do to them—especially, to Ash. That was
such a low blow, something I never could have expected from her.
Even though she didn’t say anything specifically to me—or likely,
because she didn’t say anything aimed at me—I feel the need to set her
straight for hurting the others. I’m the only one with enough rationality to
deal with her when she wakes up. 
I love this woman with every fiber of my being. She’s my reason for
living. But the guys are my brothers and I’m not letting her trample all over
them.
The way she passed out has me worried. Zedd said it was probably the
shock wearing off or the exhaustion of the day catching up. Since he’s the
smart one, I’ll go with his theory for now.
I carry Lana over to the bed and deposit her onto the worn-out
comforter. I pull off her black converse, speckled with blood and caked with
dirt. 
I’m almost grateful for the silence, the snark-free environment and the
ability to take care of her without her arguing that she’s an equal.  A strong
independent woman who needs no man as she always says.
Sometimes, I just want to pamper her so she doesn’t have to do
everything alone. I hope one day she can see that—and that I live to see
that, because good heavens, it’s unlikely.
As I move to put her shoes down on the floor and zone back out of my
head, my gaze catches on the fresh blood on the arm that was cradling Lana
and my eyes widen.
Oh shit! 
I completely forgot about her wounded back. What if she fainted from
the blood loss? I don’t remember her bleeding enough to faint but—
I debate ringing reception and requesting a doctor but we can’t afford
the fees right now. I’m fucking more than happy to go bankrupt to make
sure she’s okay but if she thinks the doctor visit was pointless when she
wakes up, I’m a goner.
I might be the makeshift leader of the group but everyone knows she’s
the real boss of this gang.
 I can only know for sure what the right call is after I assess her back but
the idea of taking her shirt off without her permission, despite the
seriousness of the situation, has me pacing and wearing holes into the
carpet. I know she has PTSD flashbacks from her childhood that she has
never fully opened up about. What if she wakes up while I’m cleaning her
and it triggers her? We’ve been through enough today. None of us can deal
with that right now. 
My mind works overtime to come up with a solution and finally lands
on a happy medium. I head to the bathroom to grab a washcloth and wet it
with warm water. Grabbing the soap off of the porcelain sink, I drape a
towel over my shoulder and head back to her side. 
Gently, I roll her onto her stomach and lift her shirt as high as it can go. 
What the hell…
I double take at the sight of the wound. Surely, it was bigger than that? I
remember it being twice the size when it originally happened. 
I shake my head, rationalizing that I was hallucinating the extent of the
injury because of the stress of the day. Well, that’s one less problem to deal
with. At least now I won’t have to face certain death at her hands if she
decided I overreacted by calling the doctor.
Untying her bikini string leaves her back bare to me and I take a
moment to take in her beautiful, hourglass figure. The way her waist dips,
her hips flare—she’s perfect. 
Taking the washcloth in hand, I begin to wipe up the blood in small
sections, starting from her upper back, careful not to pull and aggravate the
wound. Fresh and dried blood alike paint the wound and stain the
washcloth, quickly rendering it unusable. 
I get up to retrieve a fresh washcloth and almost fall flat on my ass a
bad case of vertigo hits me. I place a hand against the wall to stay upright. 
What the hell was that?
 I shake my head when the moment passes and make my way back to the
bathroom to grab a fresh washcloth. I head back to Lana and finish cleaning
and drying the wound.  
Satisfied, I decide to leave her shirt up so the skin can air dry and isn’t
exposed to the dirty shirt again.  
  I head to the bathroom to shower, fantasies of falling into bed and
sleeping to escape life play in my head. 
I strip off my stiff clothes, trying not to think about how they’re stained
with the blood of the only two women I’ve ever loved. Fantasies of sleep
are replaced by fantasies of acquiring lighter fluid and setting them on fire
—and our old house and the world while I’m adding to the list. I want no
memories of this night but I know it will be ingrained in my mind forever. 
In the absence of lighter fluid and a suitable set-all-the-shit-on-fire
environment, I settle on throwing them in the small trash can and turn the
water to hot. As steam fills the small room, I step into the shower. 
The hot water scalds my skin but I barely register the pain I should be
feeling. My attention is on the water tinging red, running into the drain. I
can’t stop staring. Is that Beth’s blood I’m washing away or Lana’s?
Holding in the scream that threatens to rip from my throat, I grab onto
the sponge and scrub until it feels like I’ve scrubbed all the layers of skin
away. I wash my hair three times and go to wash it again but my hands fall
lifeless at my sides. Falling to my knees, I battle with the overwhelming
grief that threatens to take away my breath. Why can’t I clean my mind of
the memories like I can my body? Fuck, can I even live with this pain on
top of all the rest I already carry? Can I put my family back together?
There’s so much to do, so much to fix. 
How will we live? How will I provide for my family?
I’m the one with the plan, the one who protects. 
What the fuck is going to happen to us if my mind’s gone blank and my
heart won’t stop racing?
 I held it together when one of us needed to make the sensible decision
and someone needed to stand up and take care of us. But now that I’m
alone... 
The gates on my emotions burst open and I don’t try to stop it. Folding
into myself, I try to hold in the sound of my sobs to avoid waking Lana but
I can’t stop them from wracking my body as the loss of Beth devastates me.
She was so full of love, so full of kindness. The one who taught us all
how to trust. When the world had broken us down, she picked up all the
pieces, leaving nothing behind, and put us back together. 
I’m ready to shatter again if it will just bring her back to us—but I
already am in her absence. 
How the fuck am I supposed to put myself back together long enough to
make sure we survive? 
As the tears run dry and numbness settles in its place, I feel a distant
sense of gratitude for the reprieve. Without waiting to see if the grief will
come back for a more debilitating phase two, I step out and dry off quickly. 
Wrapping the towel low on my waist, I walk back into our room and
freeze in my tracks. Lana’s still lying in bed but a pale teal light surrounds
her unconscious form like an orb. 
What the fuck?
Another wave of dizziness strikes me, bringing me swiftly down to my
knees before I can brace myself. 
I groan at the nauseating sensation. Come on, Hale, pull it together.
Lana needs you.
I crawl to the edge of the bed and pull myself up onto it, feeling in my
bones that I need to check on her, that the light won’t harm her but she
needs me close by.
Reaching out to attempt to grab her hand, I cry out as my hand hits the
barrier of light and a wave of pain envelops every nerve ending, making my
head pulse.
 I grip my head and struggle to cling onto consciousness but quickly lose
the battle, slipping into oblivion.
My last thought is, please let her be okay, Gaia. 
But when did I start praying to Gaia?

Leo

“You know she didn’t mean to say those things, brother,” Luke supplies as
he wipes off the dried blood on his face with a wet cloth.
“Yup,” I bite out. 
I resist the urge to flip my brother off. He can very well see I don’t want
to get into this. 
“Leo,” he says firmly, his voice both a reprimand and a plea as he sits
across from me on the other single bed. “Don’t let Beth’s loss harden you.
We’ve known Lana our entire lives. You know she would never
intentionally lash out. She’s going to beat herself up when she comes to.” 
“That doesn’t change the fact that she did fucking lash out maliciously.
Why are you defending her? She disrespected you for trying to comfort
her.”
A cross between a snort and a laugh follows, causing me to screw my
face up in confusion. I look at my twin like he’s lost a few brain cells.
“It’s simple. I’m not defending her—I’m forgiving her.”
How is he always the sensible one in private? 
It’s so annoying when I want to rage about a situation and he just comes
over with his heart of gold that he hides from everyone else and makes me
feel like the devil. Although, I suppose, as twins, it’s fitting that we would
be the opposing angel-devil pair on someone’s shoulder. 
 We both have the same aversion to serious situations, preferring to stay
on the light-hearted side of every moment but we vary drastically when it
comes to how we deal with our anger. He’s the cool, calming water to my
raging fire. Somehow, insults and rude remarks just roll off him as if he has
some type of anger repellent covering his body. 
Me, however—I prefer to embrace that fire inside of me, relishing in the
feeling of it in private. My twin is the only person that sees that side of me
because I tend to restrain it until we’re behind closed doors. 
I will never give the satisfaction to anyone of letting them know they
got past my mental walls. It will give them leverage in the future to use
against me.
I never thought I would consider Lana being one of the people I had to
hide myself from. I failed at hiding my anger in front of her earlier and I
hate that she pushed me over the edge like that.
“You love her, don’t you?” His question pulls me from the pit of rage
I’ve been stewing in.
I take a deep breath and consider if I want to say the words. But this is
Luke.
“Yes. She drives me up a fucking wall sometimes, but I do love her.”
I can’t lie to myself any longer and continue to pretend like she doesn’t
hold every single piece of my damaged heart in her hands. I’ve hidden it for
far too long already.
“Then you will find it in your heart to forgive her.”
I throw my hands up in exasperation with the situation before falling
onto my back on the mattress. “I’m just so angry at the world right now.
Not just Lana. I’m angry Beth was taken from us. I’m angry Lana didn’t
allow us to comfort her when she clearly needed it. I feel this fire inside of
my soul attempting to consume me and it’s just … overwhelming.”
“Maybe you should go shower and try to cool down metaphorically. I’ll
go after.” 
 Blowing out a deep breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, I nod my
head and rise off the bed, grabbing a clean pair of boxers. Making my way
to the en-suite bathroom, I remove my ruined clothing and get into the
shower after giving it a few seconds to heat up. Stepping in, I hiss as cold
water meets my foot.
I swear I turned it on hot.
I look at the shower handle to confirm and see it’s all the way towards
the ‘H’ side. Frowning, I put my foot back in to test the water again. Once
again, ice-cold water meets my skin. 
But there’s steam rising into the recessed lighting, which just confuses
me further.
“Luke!” I yell out to my twin as I wrap a towel around me loosely.
His head peeks through the door with a cheeky grin. “What’s up? I’m
not washing your back.”
Rolling my eyes and holding back a smile, I asked, “Can you test this
water temperature? It’s turned all the way to hot and there’s steam but it
feels ice-cold to my skin.”
“That’s weird. Yeah, move over and I’ll try it.”
Moving to the side to make way for him, he sticks his hand in and pulls
it back with a hiss, shaking his fingertips. 
“See! Isn’t that so odd?”
Instead of a nod of agreement, he looks at me worriedly. “Leo. That
water just burned the shit out of me. It wasn’t cold at all.”
“No fucking way. Maybe it finally heated up and I just didn’t give it
long enough.”
He nods. “It’s an older building. They probably have old hot water
tanks.”
Sure that that’s it, I push by him to try again and curse as freezing cold
water runs over my hand.
“Ow, Leo! What the hell?”
 I glance over, perplexed by his outburst, and see the red mark on his
forearm. Did I do that? I barely brushed his arm—with my elbow! 
“There’s no way I did that,” I say. “I’m not holding anything hot. Run it
under the faucet though to relieve the sting.”
What is going on right now?
He goes over to the sink and as he runs his arm under the cold water, he
gasps in surprise.
“What now?” I asked, wondering what the hell else can possibly
happen.
“My skin … it’s healing.”
Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
Walking to the sink in two quick strides, my mouth drops open as his
burn slowly fades into his normal pale skin and the wound above his eye
begins closing.
An all-consuming sharp pain shoots through my head, causing me to
fall into the wall next to me. I sink to the ground and cradle my head. With
the last reserves of my willpower, I try to look up and check my brother’s
okay between the slits of my eyes and find him curled in the fetal position
on the floor next to me. 
I open my mouth to ask if he’s okay but black dots litter my vision and I
promptly lose consciousness.

Zedd

A somber mood settles over our room as Ash and I unpack the measly
belongings that we could stuff into our duffle bags. I’m unsure if I should
comfort him because I know he’s hurting from what Lana said earlier but I
imagine he needs space to think. I’m hoping he’ll talk to me when and if
he’s ready. It stung me when she threw me off of her and yelled at me to
stop touching her, so what she said to him ...
I can’t even imagine how deep the wound’s running there. 
Without a word or glance in my direction, he stalks into the bathroom
and slams the door shut with a resounding thud.
O-kay. Guess that answers whether he wants to talk to me or not. 
My thoughts drift toward Beth and my heart instantly plummets into my
stomach. 
My whole life, since my family left me behind without a word, I’ve
struggled with feeling like I’m not good enough for anyone’s love or
attention. I had been playing in our backyard one day and wandered inside
to ask for a snack, only for a silent house to greet me. I called out for my
mom, dad and sister but no one answered. As I wandered from room to
room, my eyes grew wetter, sniffles turned to sobs and I wept openly. All of
their belongings remained but they had taken my sister and left while I had
been distracted with my toys outside.
Struggling with abandonment issues the entirety of my life has gotten in
the way of me truly breaking out of my shell. I’m constantly worried that
I’ll do or say the wrong thing and Beth, Lana or the guys will shun or leave
me. I thought I was subtle with it but Beth saw it in me, in my helpful
nature and my determination to avoid conflict, even if it meant sacrificing
something I believed in. 
She got me involved in shared activities like cooking or doing chores
together and it helped me bond with her in a way I didn’t know I was
capable of. As I grew up, I continued to help her as I had, not because I
needed to prove I was worth keeping it around, but because it had become
our time together. She’d convinced me to stand up for myself and shown
me my worth was in just existing, just breathing. 
Sometimes, even if we completed the task in blissful silence, her
presence itself had a calming effect on me.
 Coming out of my thoughts, I absentmindedly brush my cheeks, my
fingers coming away wet with tears that had fallen without my permission. I
need to remain strong and hold those precious moments near and dear to my
heart. She would hate to see us falling apart and nipping at each other due
to her death. I may not be the best at consoling others but I know Beth
would want me to try with Ash so that he doesn’t feel so alone in his
emotions.
Lana or Beth usually fill that void for him so I can’t imagine how
broken he feels when one is gone and the other is acting like she doesn’t
care.
It’s hitting me now that the women in our family are the glue. What
happens if Lana doesn’t recover from this?
Time for me to take that place, even if it’s temporary.
Nodding my head at my decision, I get up and cross to the bathroom
just as the shower turns off. Knocking lightly, I call out through the door.
“Ash, are you okay? I’m here if you need to talk.”
The door swings open quickly and suddenly, Ash is there, filling the
doorway, glaring daggers at me. I back up a few steps at the malice rolling
off of him in ways, making it seem like he’s grown to twice his size.
I hold my hands up in a placating manner. “Woah, dude, I’m just trying
to help. I know we’ve been through a lot today. Beth would want us to
support each other through this.”
He takes one threatening step forward as his eyes shift to a pure black
obsidian, consuming all hints of green. Pupils don’t dilate that much, do
they? 
“If I wanted to talk about it, don’t you think I would have fucking done
so by now? I don’t need to hold anyone’s hand and sing kumbaya to get
through this shit.”
What the hell happened to his eyes?
 I keep backing up until my back hits the dresser. There’s nowhere
further to go and he’s not just standing anymore. He’s advancing towards
me, rage filling the space around him, sucking the air from the room. 
I have never felt threatened by anyone in my family like this. He’s
reminding me of the bullies that would grab my books and shove me into
lockers in elementary school. As I grew older, it had escalated to more
physical aggression and degradation until Ash caught wind of it in high
school.  Rumor had it, he gave their ass whooping back to them tenfold and
no one had ever messed with me since then. When I confronted him, he
neither confirmed nor denied the allegations, leaving me to believe he
didn’t want to embarrass me further. 
We had never told anyone else in our group about the bullying or Ash’s
actions. I didn’t want anyone’s pity.
Uncertain of whether Ash would cross that line or not and actually
assault me in his current state, I keep my hands up and close my eyes,
wanting to show submission and cover anything important. Fear trickles
through me as bullying flashbacks assault my mind, causing me to tremble. 
A wave of air flows over my body in a rush, causing me to shiver at the
sensation and open my eyes. Ash’s body flies back into the bathroom,
crashing against the furthest wall and creating a crack from the hard
collision. 
My jaw hits the floor as my mind tries to process what the hell had just
happened. 
Had that blast of air come from me?
I stare at Ash with wide eyes as he groans and rubs the back of his head,
rolling his neck side to side. 
I refuse the urge to go to him. What if he’s still pissed? Or am I the
bully now? What the hell is happening?
“Ash, I am so sorry. I don’t even know what happened. That couldn’t
have been me.”
 At the sound of my voice, he opens his eyes, which have returned to
their normal jade color, causing me to think I had hallucinated earlier.
“Zedd, what happened?” He manages to ask, his words a slur, his eyes
groggy, before his head lolls to the side and he goes unconscious.
Fuck, does he have a concussion?
I quickly cross the distance between us and inspect his head for any
injuries, checking his pupils to see if they’re dilated. While checking for
wounds, I think about how much it would upset the group to hear he had
turned violent. I don’t want to cause more strife in the group right now and
Ash has protected me my whole life. I owe it to him to not bash him for this
one, weak moment.
As I complete my inspection, I feel the migraine from hell coming on
and leave Ash resting on the floor. I can’t move him right now and in case
he did injure his head.
I rummage through the bathroom cabinets, hoping the inn’s left some
medicines for their guests. Coming up empty, I curse myself for forgetting
the medicine at our house. Maybe Hale packed a first aid kit. I go to leave
the room and ask him, knowing I can always count on him to have whatever
supplies we needed.
Before I can open the door, my brain feels like it’s succumbing to what I
imagine an aneurism would be like and I drop to my knees, not having the
energy to stand any longer. A migraine has never come on this hard or this
fast. 
Trying to fight my way through the pain, I take deep breaths as my
hands clench at my side.
Whatever this is, you can get through it. Come on, Zedd.
I quickly lose my battle and let the pain pull me into a blissful
unconsciousness.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Nine

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

I wake up and feel like I’m suffering from the worst hangover of my life. I
struggle to take deep breaths and almost groan in frustration before
realizing my face is buried in a pillow. 
Smooth, Lana. 
Real smooth.
As I pick my head up, I realize my back is exposed as the air
conditioning vent blows cool air down, causing a chill to break out on my
skin.
Where am I? Why is my shirt lifted?
Before I lose myself to panic, I take a moment to center my breathing
and survey my surroundings. When I see Hale passed out in the bed next to
me, my body instantly relaxes, knowing he would never let anything
happen to me. We must have made it to the inn I distantly remember
hearing them talk about before I passed out in his arms. 
Discarded and bloody washcloths lay on the floral printed armchair
nearby. He must have cleaned my back while I was unconscious.
Thinking of how kind Hale was to take care of my wound, even after I
had been nothing but a bitch to them earlier, leaves me with a sick feeling.
Leo was right—I had been a bitch and lashed out at the only people who
understood the pain of what I was going through at the time. Instead of
comforting them or letting them comfort me, I made this whole thing so
much harder on all of us.
Grief does strange things to the mind. It causes you to act irrationally
and in ways you would never imagine yourself doing. 
I owe them all the world’s biggest apology and a lot of hugs.
Maybe more than a hug if we manage to have the talk that we had
planned on having yesterday. Obviously, things hadn’t gone according to
plan and I’m not really sure where that leaves us. After the way I had
treated them, I wouldn’t be surprised if they decide not to pursue me. They
deserve better. 
Would it even be appropriate to bring this conversation up after
everything that had happened? We have much bigger things to worry about.
Burial or cremation—I guess that’s my biggest concern at this point. I
feel like Beth would have loved to have her ashes scattered in the wind, free
to go anywhere in nature that they wished. My heart swells at the thought,
causing me to smile lightly. I rub away the stray tear that streams down my
cheek. This is a decision we need to make as a group but that’s what I’m
leaning towards.
I sit up and pull my blood-stained shirt down, trying to be as quiet as
possible in my movements so as to not wake up Hale. Lightly getting to my
feet, I walk over to my teal duffel bag and rummage through it to find
pajamas, the memory of teal sunflowers coming to mind.
I shake it away, continuing my search for clothes. Upon finding them, I
look down at my body and take in the bloodied and ripped clothing. I’m
desperate to get back in bed but I need a quick shower. 
Padding over to the bathroom, I make my way inside and leave my
bundle of clean clothes on the porcelain sink top, stripping out of the
mangled clothes and bikini. Throwing them into the trash as Hale had
clearly done with his, I feel a weight lifted at the thought of never seeing
them again.
 Looking at the mirror, I check myself out for the first time since my
world has gone to shit. Squinting at my reflection, I move closer and
examine my eyes, which appear to be brighter than normal and the color
swirling slightly. My hair seems fuller, longer and shinier, despite the
random debris knotted in it. Brushing the back of my fingers down my
cheek to rub off a dirt marking, my fingers glide against the smoothest skin,
reminding me of velvet. 
I must not be fully awake yet because all of this is not possible. 
Tilting my face to the side and up and down, I take in how beautiful I
appear but instantly stop when I see a blemish under my chin that has never
been there before. It looks like a wound that has healed and scarred from
pierced skin.
Goddess, what type of hangover am I suffering from?
Wait … Goddess. 
Holy shit!
My dream slams to the forefront of my mind and I gasp, remembering
all that Gaia told me. Was that real? At the time, it had felt like my mind
landed me into the middle of a crazy fantasy plot but I can’t deny the strong
connection I had felt to the land and to Gaia.
I shake my head. You just need to take a shower and get some more
sleep, Lana. This is just exhaustion. 
As I turn to head to the shower, I realize that my back hasn’t hurt at all
since I woke up. Turning my head to look over my shoulder in the mirror, I
gape at my blemish-free back, no bleeding wound in sight.
Gaia had told me my back was healing last night in my dream as I came
into my magic and Fae form. Maybe there’s a semblance of truth to
everything she had told me.
Did someone slip drugs into me somehow? Gods, and Goddesses and
Fae, holy fuck!
 I am not ready to dive into that clusterfuck of information right now.
I’m not even close to accepting Beth’s death and now this? Hard pass.
Instead, I focus my thoughts on simpler tasks like turning on the shower
and stepping inside. I blissfully zone out as the hot water runs down my
skin, washing away the blood that had coated and stuck to me. 
All I’d wanted was a day to sit back and enjoy the weather. To push the
guys buttons as I tiptoed into uncharted territory with them. 
I guess you don’t always get what you want. 
As my hands roam my body and I wash with the cheap bar soap, I can’t
help but think of how I’m going to have to get back into bed with Hale. Part
of me wants to say fuck playing coy and just lose myself in him. My hands
brush my hardened nipples, causing my legs to shift as a heat and pressure
builds between them. I know he’ll be gentle and treat me like a queen if I go
through with it. His dominance and large frame should intimidate me, at the
thought of him being my first, but it does the opposite. 
I want him to own my mind, body and soul. I don’t want to think of
anything else.
Dropping my hand to my swollen pussy, I part my lips and gently
massage my clit as I picture Hale’s large body moving over my own. He’d
lick, nip and suck on my skin, from the sensitive area of my neck, all the
way down to where I really want him. 
Moaning at the image, I increase my pace as the pressure builds,
needing to get myself over the cliff. He’d run his tongue across my folds
until I cry his name out, completely unraveling at his touch. 
“Lana? Are you okay in there?”
Oh my God. He caught me moaning.
“Uh, yeah! Give me one second,” I call out, quickly turning the shower
off, and wrapping my body in the plush white towel on the rack.
Yanking the door open, I stand face to face with the man that I had just
been fantasizing about moments ago. My cheeks flush as heat rushes to
them and my body aches, still yearning for the release he robbed me of.
I must look like a drowned rat with my hair still sopping wet but he
surprises me with the predatory look in his gaze. Something akin to hunger
in his eyes.
“We need to talk, Lana,” he grinds out through a clenched jaw.
Being caught slightly off guard by that statement, my mind races, trying
to figure out what to say to him. I know he wants to talk about us and my
feelings for all of them but I really hadn’t expected him to fling the talk on
me right now.
Here goes nothing. No more hiding.
“You’re right.” Oh fuck, there my hands go with their wild gestures. “I
know I treated you all terribly this afternoon, and I am so sorry for letting
my grief take over. You are all so precious to me. I’ve made up my mind.
Losing Beth today made me realize just how important you all are to me. I
want you. All of you,” I finish, glad I got all out before I could wimp out.
We just stare at each other for a few moments before he surprises me by
rushing me, grabbing the back of my head, and tilting it back. He melds his
plush lips to my own, confirming my suspicions that they indeed feel as soft
as they look. Melting into his embrace, I lean against him and give into the
desire I felt for him. Kissing him back with force, I grip his dark hair
between my fingers and moan into his mouth.
This feels even better than I imagined.
“Fuck, Lana,” he says, barely moving his lips away from me to say the
words. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words from your lips for far too
long.” He smothers my retort with his lips, flicking his tongue out and
dragging my bottom lip into his mouth as he suckles on it lightly.
My mind turns to mush, all witty comebacks flying off to Neverland to
die. I had no idea a kiss could be filled with so much passion and intensity,
causing me to lose the ability to form coherent thoughts.
 Moving his hands to my hips, he digs his fingers in, grinding his pelvis
into me. His large erection brushes against my stomach, causing me to freak
out a little at my lack of experience, but it also wakes up a greedy animal
that wants me to rip my towel off and have my way with him. 
Moving my hand to grip the edge of my towel to do just that, I start
tugging but his hands suddenly disappear from my hips and clasp my hand
to my towel, halting my movements. He tilts his head down to rest against
my forehead as his heavy breathing matches my own.
Did I misunderstand his desire for me? Am I moving too fast?
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smirks. “As happy as I am
for you to have finally admitted that, it’s actually not what I wanted to talk
to you about. I came to make sure you were alright when I heard noises
because I saw something earlier that freaked me the fuck out.”
Slowly, the ability to process thought comes back and I take in his
words.
Wow, I spilled the beans and that wasn’t even what he was referring to
earlier.
“Okay. What did you see?”
He blows out a deep breath, fanning my face and drops his hand. “After
we got to the room, I cleaned up your back the best I could without putting
you in a potentially compromising position if you woke up during it.”
I knew it—he’s such a fucking sweetheart.
“After I was done, when I came out of the bathroom, you were covered
in a teal … like a shield of energy? I don’t know how to describe it. Then
my brain felt like it was being fried and I barely managed to drag my way
up and onto the bed next to you. I didn’t know what was going on but I was
so worried it was related to the glow around you.”
He’s speaking so hurriedly, with so much concern that I know he isn’t
bullshitting me. I rub my hands up and down his arms, waiting for him to
finish.
 “I went to touch you and there was a barrier of sorts that I hit and it was
like it pushed me away, stinging me or something. I passed out and didn’t
wake up until just now when I heard you in the shower. Fuck, this is all
sounds so crazy,” he finishes in a rush and starts to pace the room.
Well, shit. I guess Gaia had been telling the truth. Maybe I owe her an
apology for all the sass and anger. My bad. Who knew you could trust
crazy Goddesses in dreams?
“I know this sounds absolutely batshit crazy but—”
I cut him off with a squeeze of his arm as he crosses in front of me. “I
believe you.”
“Wait, what? Really?” He looks into my eyes, suspicious like this is one
of my pranks.
I roll my eyes. Really, these guys act like I don’t have a mature bone in
my body. “Yes, really.  Some crazy shit happened to me when I was passed
out but I hadn’t fully believed it until now. I will fill you in but I would
rather do it when all of the guys are around so I don’t have to repeat
myself.”
He leans down slightly and presses a chaste kiss to my lips, making my
stomach erupt in butterflies. I stare up at him and can’t help but smile back
at the cheesy, mischievous, schoolboy grin on his face. 
“You’re so lame,” I say, shaking my head.
“You like it.” He winks at me.
Yes, I fucking do.
At the thought of seeing the rest of my guys, I inwardly cringe,
remembering how I left off with them. I’m not sure if we should try to sleep
and let them cool off some more, or if I should woman up, gather them all
in the room and risk their rage.
Deciding to ask Hale, since he would have a better idea of their mental
state, I ask, “Hey. I know I owe them an apology but do you think I should
wait until the morning to throw all of this at them? It’s kind of a lot.”
 He rubs his stubbled chin. “Yeah, I think all of this would come across
much better after a decent night’s sleep. I’m struggling to believe it myself
and I actually saw it.” 
I nod in agreement. “Thought so. I’m just going to change into my
pajamas and dry my hair really quick then so we can get some sleep.”
“I’ll be in bed, waiting.” He saunters off, leaving me to get ready, and I
can’t help the flutter of excitement I feel at the possibilities of him waiting
in bed.
Closing the door behind me, I change into my standard short and tank
combo and grab the crappy hair dryer built into the wall. Sighing at how
long this will take with my new, thicker, Lana 2.0 hair, I resign myself to
my fate, section it off and get to work.
After that awful task is complete, I take note of how soft and beautiful
my hair looks in the mirror. I can definitely tell the difference in my
appearance. There’s a natural glow to my skin and a vitality that has never
been there before. I mull over how my features are all enhanced but I also
have that weird scar underneath my chin now. 
If Fae appearance is some kind of perfect state of being, that scar just
doesn’t add up.
Leaving the mystery for another day, I open the door and make my way
into the room, fidgeting with my hands, nervous about how to proceed with
Hale. I knew what I wanted in the heat of the moment and didn’t feel shy
about it, but now… well now is a whole different thing. 
He’s lying on his back under the comforter, already snoring away with
one hand behind his head and the other on top of the comforter covering his
dick.
Giggling softly, I realize nothing further is going to happen tonight and
the tension leaves my body. I make my way over to my side of the bed, turn
the bedside light off and slip underneath the covers gently, not wanting to
disturb him. Laying on my side, I feel the urge to reach out and touch him
but refrain, knowing he needs to rest.
“Love you.”
His soft, barely audible declaration has me freezing, though he isn’t
fully awake when he says it. Those damn butterflies erupt in my stomach
again as his words, bringing a happiness I didn’t think I could feel so soon
after Beth’s death. 
I close my eyes, thinking of our last conversation.
She had been right. I am strong and I am very loved. 
It’ll be a long road to recover from her death. At least now I know that it
wasn’t my fault or Gaia’s. In fact, her mere presence in our lives was a
blessing and a gift. And though Beth loved us, I’m sure she’s happy where
she is, reunited with her husband who she spoke so fondly of and the kid
she cried for when she thought we were asleep.
I hope you are at peace now with your family.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Ten

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

I lie in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, trying to find a position in
which I can relax and doze off, but it’s no use. It seems like I’ve been in bed
for hours. My mind is running through all the events of the past day.
Has it really only been a day?
It’s still dark outside. All of this shit will be here in the morning to deal
with, Lana. Go to sleep.
There’s just too much on my mind between Gaia, what had happened
with Hale
I try to be stern with myself but my eyelids refuse to stay closed.
Everything Gaia said keeps digging its talons into my brain, dragging me by
the roots of my hair, down the rabbit hole. Realizing this is futile, I give in
and let my imagination run rampant, as wild what if scenarios jump in my
head like a group of tantrum-throwing toddlers, begging for attention. Look
at me! No, me! 
What if Hale and I both suffered from a traumatic brain injury during
the storm and didn’t realize it? I don’t recall any head wound so I cross that
off the list. Next.
What if Gaia’s religious following is actually a cult and somehow, they
slipped drugs into our food and drinks while we were napping at the lake?
 It’s doubtful that we’re important enough for a cult to randomly target
so that one seems a little farfetched. Next.
What if the tornadoes earlier ripped through a gas pipe in our house and
this was all a hallucination after some serious gas inhalation? Shit, did we
even get gas where we lived? And does gas even cause hallucinations or
just death?
Internally groaning, I move onto the only other option I have left.
What if Hale and I aren’t hallucinating and everything Gaia told me in
my dream is real?
At this point, that seems most likely.
Fuck my life.
A loud rap on our door has me bolting to my feet with a grace and speed
that I have never before possessed. Hale flies out of bed just as fast and
quietly makes his way to the door, opening it to greet the late-night visitor.
“Lana, turn the light on,” Hale calls out to me, not a trace of sleepiness
in his voice somehow. “I guess we’re having this conversation now.” 
I need coffee to deal with this shit and there’s no coffee in sight. What’s
a girl gotta do for some liquid gold?
At this point, I’m deliriously tired so of course, the guys had to show
up.
Begrudgingly, I turn the light on, bathing the room in a warm glow that
illuminates my men as they walk in. They all look like shit, like they’ve
been to hell and back and trying to make sense of our lives. 
I can relate.
I look closer at them, trying to pinpoint exactly what has changed that
makes them look different. Despite the fatigue in the way they’re carrying
themselves or their emotional detachment as they refuse to meet my eyes,
they all seem a bit larger, height-wise and in their builds. There’s a healthy
glow under their skin that makes them look almost radiant.
 They couldn’t all have gone through a growth spurt simultaneously
overnight, right?
Yesterday, they were fine specimens of the human male population but
now, they look almost—
My brain screeches to a halt. 
Oh fuck. 
They look otherworldly. 
Of course, my guys have to outdo everyone in the looks department,
even fucking Fae, it seems.
Putting the thought out of my head, I sit on the edge of my bed,
uncertain of how to greet them or if I should speak first. They filter into the
small sitting area and deposit themselves where they can. The twins lounge
on the couch, Ash on the chair, which leaves Zedd on the floor. Hale stays
by me, hovering and not taking a seat. 
Playing with my fingernails, I sneak glances at each of their faces,
trying to get a read on them. They look like zombies, beautiful zombies, but
still. It’s freaking me the fuck out. Maybe I need to get my apology out
there quickly so I can figure out how to make this better.
Taking a deep breath, I start in a rush, “Listen, guys, I owe you all a
huge apology. The way I treated every single one of you was out of line. I
understand why you don’t want to look at me. I’m disgusted with myself
right now for the way I acted. We all lost our mom and I know this will be a
big change in our lives. We will get through this together though, I hope.” I
finish lamely, staring at the floor, ashamed that I’m now offering to support
us in getting through this when I put them down so horribly yesterday. 
I can’t bring myself to look at them, the betrayal and sadness likely
painted on their faces.
“Lana,” Zedd says. “We didn’t come here to discuss that right now.
When we went to our rooms tonight, something happened to each of us and
we thought you and Hale should know, in case it happened to you as well.”
 I groan aloud and facepalm. Once again, I rushed into an apology
without waiting to see what the conversation is actually about. Foot, meet
mouth. 
“Explain,” Hale clips out, looking at Zedd.
Zedd’s eyes widen and he looks around the room nervously, gulping and
almost obsessively looking back at Ash. The poor guy looks like he might
vomit.
“What he’s trying to say is,” Leo interjects, saving Zedd from the
pressure. “We think we all have some form of magic power or that we
might be losing our fucking minds.” 
Welcome to the fucking party, boys. We’re all a little mad around here,
apparently.
I can’t help but laugh out loud at the Mad Hatter reference my mind
supplies and the guys all shared worried glances at my reaction.
You look like you belong in a straitjacket in the looney bin. Pull it
together.
Struggling to contain my giggle at both that fucking awesome joke and
the comical looks on their faces, I manage to get out, “I’m laughing at a
joke I made in my head. Not you guys.”
Everyone facepalms.
Really, this shouldn’t have surprised anyone. I’m still the funniest
person I know. That hasn’t changed.
“My Queen,” Luke says, worried, “We’re being serious right now.” 
Oh, they don’t think I believe them about the magic. But yay for the
nickname being used again—that’s a positive sign for me.
I wave them off like it’s just another Wednesday, trying not to freak
them out any further and like they really should’ve caught up by now. “Oh
guys, I know about the magic. I believe you. Gaia turned out to be a real
Goddess and she visited me in my dreams as Hale carried me over here. I
was going to tell you about it after you’d had a chance to rest.” 
 A startled cough comes from Ash. “I’m sorry. The fuck did you just
say?”
One more time—louder, for the people in the back.
I roll my eyes. “I said that Gaia is real and she visited—”
“My ears aren’t fucking broken. I meant explain what you said.”
I scowl at him. Rude. He’s lucky I still feel bad for what I said to him
earlier or there would be no answer until he changed his tone of voice with
me.
“Well maybe you should have worded your question differently then,
huh? I’m going to repeat what happened when I lost consciousness to now
and I don’t want any questions until I’m done. Got it?” 
I give them all a stern look, daring them to interrupt my epic
storytelling.  Dazed faces nod back at me, probably wondering if they’re
crazy or if I’m crazy.
Surprise, motherfuckers. We’re all crazy now.

After sharing my experience with Gaia in the dream realm, which happens
to be a memory from the Fae realm, my tongue is dry as desert sand from
the constant talking. I explained everything Gaia had told me—the rebirth,
the dark Fae on our Earth, and Beth’s role in it all. 
They also shared their experiences of their own magic coming to them
and the subsequent passing out.
At this point, I’m just hoping coffee will somehow drop from the
heavens into my greedy hands. It’s so hard to get good help nowadays.
Maybe I can ask Gaia for a minion or two?
“So we’re all Fae?”
Fucking hell, dude. Gaia, give me that minion so I can have it strangle
these guys.
 “Yes, Luke,” I say, rolling my eyes. I will kill the next person who asks
this question. “As I have already said two million and one times, we’re all
fucking Fae.”
I’m sprawled out on my bed, playing with my hair, as I answer their,
often repeated, questions. I’m really quite disappointed in their surface-
level interrogations. I threw so much shit at them, though no more than
Gaia threw at me, and they’re here, stuck on the same three things. Fae,
rebirth and magical healing abilities. Catch up and help me figure out what
the hell we’re going to do! Yes, my back stitched itself back together but
come the fuck on. 
Zedd raises his hand like we’re in school. Ugh, he’s so stinkin’ cute. 
I call on him to proceed.
“I have a legit question. She said there’s a dark Fae in this realm. Did
she give any more details to help us figure that out? I’d like to find a way to
avoid them until we’ve mastered our powers.”
“Finally, Zedd! An important question!” I yell and then frown.
“Unfortunately, the answer to that is no. No, she did not. She was very
vague about that part.” 
Ash pushes up from his perch on the armchair. “I think I’ve got this
summed up. We’re all Fae with magical powers, living our second life and
our ‘purpose’ is to save an entirely different dimension from corruption.”
I nod enthusiastically at his words. “Thank you for the SparkNotes
version! Good job!”
He drags his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes, allowing me a
moment to openly admire how his slightly-wavy raven locks have grown to
his chin. His hair has never been this long before but I’m totally digging it.
That badass biker vibe is doing it for me.
Interrupting a satisfying eye fuck, he flings his hands in the air with a
frustrated growl. “What the fuck is going on?”
 I sit up in the bed and roll my eyes. Not this shit again. “What do you
mean? You just perfectly summarized it. I really don’t want to have to
repeat the whole thing ag—”
“Lana,” he cuts me off, sounding exasperated like he’s talking to a
toddler, “Once again, that’s not what I meant. How the hell did our lives
become this?”
I’m tired of him cutting me off. I’m doing the best I can here with the
information I was given. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. 
“Look, guys, I know it’s a little un-fucking-believable but how else
would you explain the supernatural shit that just happened to all of you? If
you guys have any other explanations, I’m all ears. Let’s hear it.” Silence.
“No one?” I give them all an ‘I told you so’ look. “That’s what I thought.
So, take what I’ve given you because that’s all I have and let’s figure out
how to move forward. Capiche?”
I mentally brush off my shoulders. Adulting like a boss. 
“Lana’s right,” Hale says, his arms crossed over his bare chest. Ah,
music to my ears and a blessing for my eyes, all in one. “We need to break
down all of this information and carefully go over our situation.”
“She did say that Gaia mentioned we’re elemental Fae,” Zedd chirps
from his position on the floor. Once again, his gaze darts to Ash before
landing back on the rest of us. What’s going on there? “So, let’s talk about
each of our powers and figure out how they work together.”
I could kiss Hale and Zedd for taking this seriously. Well, honestly, I’d
kiss them all for just talking to me again.
“I seem to have an affinity for heat which makes sense, since I’m so
hot.” Leo licks his finger and presses it to his ass, making a sizzling sound. 
“I believe I have an affinity for water since I’m so cool.” Luke high-
fives his twin with a matching grin on his face.
Hale rolls his eyes and turns to Ash and Zedd. “Now that Tweedledum
and Tweedledee are done enlightening us, what about you two?” 
 An awkward moment of silence follows before Zedd rushes to speak. “I
definitely have an affinity for air, judging by the way I made Ash fly.” 
Fly? 
I’m about to question that when I notice Ash. While we were talking, he
slumped back into his seat. His hands cradle his face
“Ash…honey?” I ask softly, concerned about where his mind is. 
He doesn’t raise his face so his response comes out muffled. “I don’t
know what my power is. Maybe I’m broken.”
Sensing his despair at the situation, when no one immediately rushes to
refute him, I pad over to him and perch on the edge of the armchair. I’m not
sure if he’ll welcome my touch or where we are after the whole debacle but
I hesitantly reach out to him, tracing circles on his shoulder. “We’ll figure it
out, Ash. There’s so much we don’t know right now. We don’t know Hale’s
power either.”
He raises his head to look at me, a whisper of a smile ghosting his face,
and gives my knee a reassuring squeeze. Maybe he believes me, maybe he
appreciates that I’m trying to help—I’ll take what I can get right now. 
He looks to Zedd and they share a look.
What the hell?
Since Ash looks so hopeless, I decide not to push him further. “Okay.
Let’s move on.” I turn to my military man. “Hale, what do you know about
your potential powers?”
Hale moves to sit on the bed and shrugs his shoulders. “I have
absolutely no clue. I’m guessing that when I touched Lana in her protective
barrier, it triggered my own power coma like the rest of you. But I didn’t
have any manifestations of power. Your guess is as good as mine at this
point. We technically still don’t know yours either, Lana.”
I twist so I can see Hale better and as I do, Ash places his hand at my
lower back, rubbing circles into my skin. At this point, the butterflies in my
stomach need to start paying rent for how often they occupy my body. It
blows my mind how the simplest of touches make me melt for them. I want
more of it with all of them without any further second guessing.
“So, we potentially have air, fire, water and two”—Zedd looks at me,
his nerd hat on— “Actually, three unknowns. I’m guessing Earth is an
elemental affinity so maybe one of you could be that but I’m not sure of a
fifth or sixth option.”
As he speaks, I can’t help but glance at the twins, who have been
unusually quiet. It’s the kind of feeling I imagine a mother gets when
there’s a toddler running loose around the house and no sound coming from
anywhere—an unmistakable sense of doom. 
The two lunatics have their hands up in the air in front of them, palms
up, and they’re making weird motions with their fingers that have me
concerned for their sanity—which is fucking hilarious because we’re
supposedly the chosen ones for a Goddess.
“Are you guys finger fucking the air?” I blatantly ask. All them cough
and splutter at my vulgarity and I smirk. I’m ready for them to finger fuck
something already.
The twins drop their hands back in their laps, the picture of innocence
with their sweet smiles and wide eyes. What a crock of shit. 
“Whatever do you mean, my Queen?” Luke asks, batting his
ridiculously long eyelashes at me.
I narrow my eyes at them, giving them my best no-nonsense look,
which just makes them pout at me with quivering lower lips. I forget why
I’m glaring as my hungry eyes zone in on those plump lips that I’m dying to
kiss. 
“Cut the shit, tweedles. What’re you doing?” Hale asks, forever the
stern parent of the group.
Huffing, Luke finally relents. “Fine! We were trying to see if we could
conjure our powers on command, okay?”
 I purse my lips to keep in the giggles that want to erupt from his
adorable response but they burst out anyways. 
I have three guys taking this situation seriously, genuine concern clear
in the lines of their face—and then I have the twins, who are ready to
perform magic with no knowledge of how it works, like they’re desperate to
pull a rabbit out of a hat. I fucking love these men. 
Humor still heavy in my voice, I say, “Okay, I vote that we turn in for
the night and get some sleep. We can regroup in the morning before these
two burn down the inn somehow.”
“Well, in theory, if he starts a fire, I’d be able to put it out.” Luke wags
his eyebrows at me, clearly thinking they have it all figured out.
Ash gets up and grabs the twins by their necks, herding them out of the
room as they try to twist out of his steel grip. “Say, ‘Goodnight, Lana.’”
Glaring at him, they shout, “Goodnight, Lana!”
Zedd comes over to me and drops a light kiss on my cheek, surprising
me and making both of us blush pink. “Goodnight, Lana.” 
My, my, someone is finding their confidence.
“Night, kiddos!” I call at their retreating backs as the door falls shut
after Zedd.
“Kiddos?” Hale raises a single eyebrow at me as he moves to close the
door. “Seriously?” 
Waving him off, I bend my knees slightly, wiggle my ass like a cat
about to pounce on their prey, and prepare to launch myself onto the bed
like Superman. Finding the perfect depth in my squat for the jump, I shoot
forward, spread-eagle, and plop onto the bed.
“I think you’re the kiddo, Lana.”
Rolling over onto my side, I prop one leg up and put a hand behind my
head. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”
A sharp bark of laughter erupts from him as he makes his way into my
bed, shaking his head and still chuckling. He pulls back the covers, gets in
and wiggles over to the middle of the bed, stretching his arm out as an
invitation for me to cuddle.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Sliding over, I rest my cheek against his smooth chest, enjoying the
warmth emanating from him. I’m more grateful than they can imagine that
they let me off so easily and that we’ll be dealing with this whole shitshow
together. As a unit.
My exhaustion quickly catches up with me, relaxing as I’m pulled into
the coma I had been yearning for.
I hope you’re proud of us, Mom.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Eleven

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

As sunlight assaults my eyelids, I groggily open one eye, ready to decimate

whoever dares to interrupt my slumber. My glare lands on Hale’s well-
toned back as he ties back the curtains. A girl could get used to waking up
to a view like this.
As he turns around, I quickly drop my eyelid shut again, pretending to
sleep. Maybe he’ll leave me alone and I can get some more shut eye.
He scoffs. “Good try, Lana. You snored all night like you need a CPAP
breathing machine. I know you’re awake now that it’s blissfully quiet. Get
your ass up.”
Groaning, I kick my legs out, displacing the comforter, throwing a small
temper tantrum at being caught. He’s no fun. He could have at least
pretended to go along with it for a few minutes.
“I’m going to go grab us coffee from the buffet area so get dressed and
I’ll meet you there,” he says on his way to the bedroom door. He swings it
open. “Or I’ll bring it back for you if you don’t show up.” 
Bolting upright, I loudly proclaim, “I love you, you beautiful man!”
Instantly, I gasp and fling my hands over my mouth. 
I’ve done this before but that’s not allowed now, right? I shouldn’t just
casually throw it around anymore.
 He halts in his movement. “I knew coffee was the way to your heart but
damn, I didn’t think it’d score me that many points. Sweet.” 
The door shuts behind him and I’m relieved that he didn’t make a big
deal of it or say it back. That wasn’t how I intended that to come out.
Flopping back into bed, my mood instantly sobers. There’s so much to
do today. We need to head to the hospital to identify Beth’s body before
they’ll allow us to plan a funeral for her. I guess it’s policy to make sure
they’re giving us the right person but I don’t want to see her like that again. 
Time to put on my big girl pants, again.
Begrudgingly, I throw the covers off of my body and get up. I grab my
duffel and throw it on the bed, unzipping it and rummaging around. I grab a
green, V-neck shirt and a pair of faded, blue shorts.
Grabbing all the essentials, I head to the bathroom and change quickly,
wanting to get to the coffee as fast as humanly—Fae-ly? —possible.
As soon as I’m dressed, I glance in the mirror and say a thank you,
Goddess to the sky. The natural waves of my hair have never looked this
smooth and healthy. I decide not to bother with the small assortment of
makeup the guys dumped into the duffel for me. I’ll just ruin it by crying
and I don’t think makeup is called for when going to identify your mother’s
body. 
Shaking my head at myself, I quickly brush my teeth and hair before
heading out into the lobby to hunt down the elixir of life and the warrior
who wields it. I zone out and don’t see where I’m going when I walk into
Leo, who’s standing with his door closed, waiting for me. 
When I look up, he offers his hand to me. I smile sadly at him and take
his hand, still feeling ashamed about the incident in our house yesterday.
“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, Lana. I know you were grieving
and though you didn’t handle it the best way either, I feel like I need to
apologize for calling you a bitch at least.” With a mischievous glint in his
eyes, he bows and kisses my hand, much as he had yesterday at the lake.
How was that only twenty-four hours ago? It feels like I’ve aged twenty
years in the time that’s passed. “Will you accept your loyal servant's
apology, my Queen?” 
Deciding to meet him where he is, I tease back, with the truth ringing
behind my words. “Your Queen accepts your humble apology … and
admits she was being a horrid bitch yesterday.” Squeezing his hand, I say,
“Will you forgive me?”
All traces of playfulness drop from his face, leaving me facing a serious
man that I’m not quite sure what to do with. My heart drops for a second.
Did I say something wrong? But before I can agonize, he grabs me by the
back of my head with his other hand and stares intently into my eyes. 
“I forgive you, Lana,” he sincerely states. “I will always forgive you.”  
Slowly, he leans forward, clearly intending to kiss me but giving me a
moment to say no. Bring it on.
Not wanting to wait on his sloth speed, I place my hands on his chest
and reach up on my toes to meet him halfway. Contentment ropes itself
around my soul, knotting our connection together, as our lips touch for the
first time. In this life, a part of me says. I wonder now how I lasted this long
without his kiss. 
Getting lost in his lips, I walk him back and push him back against the
wall, need overcoming me. His back hits the wall, his breath whooshes out
of him, and I reclaim his open lips greedily sucking and licking as Hale had
done to me. Being the aggressor in this situation fills me with a sense of
accomplishment, reminding me that I have the confidence to take what I
want. 
I feel safe with all my guys and it shocks me that it doesn’t matter if I’m
the dominant one or the submissive one—nothing any of them has done has
triggered a flashback. 
A cough startles us out of our steamy make-out session. Instead of
jumping away from him, I place a little distance between us and glance over
to find a smirking Luke, leaning against the wall and I take note of how his
wound above his eye is completely healed now.
“Do I get a good morning kiss as well, my Queen?” the little devil says,
mock-pouting at me with his hand outstretched.
With the confidence still flowing through me, I saunter up to him and
grab him by his hair, pulling him down to my level. His face morphs into a
picture of shock and masked nervousness, which fuels my dominance. I like
being the one to make him squirm, making him unsure of what’s going to
happen. I may rise on my toes for him but I want to keep him on his toes,
always.
“Good morning, Luke,” I breathe against his lips before taking what I
want.
After a brief moment of shock, he leaps into action, gripping me by the
ass and picking me up. I wrap my legs around him as he walks me into the
wall as I did with his brother. My back hits the wall as his hands roam my
ass, his pelvis pushing into me.  
I moan softly, enjoying how his hard length presses against my core,
causing sparks of desire to light up my nerves. He bites and licks at my
neck, causing interchangeable sensations of pain and pleasure that I didn’t
realize was possible.
“Alright, guys, we’re in a hallway that anyone can come into and we
need to grab breakfast before they shut the buffet down.”
Luke drops his head to nuzzle my neck and kisses it softly before
lowering my feet back to the ground. I curse Leo for cutting this moment
short. Lady blue balls. A-fucking-gain. 
Luke lightly pokes my nose and says, “Good Morning.” 
Did this fucker just boop me on the nose like a dog?
The twins start walking towards the lobby, making me scramble to keep
up with their long strides. After a short, sexually-frustrated walk, we enter
the lobby where the other three guys are sitting at a table, armed with plates
piled high with food because fuck waiting for everyone else, I guess. 
Eyeing the coffee station, I beeline towards it and watch as the dark
liquid fills my cups. I bounce excitedly on my toes, whispering I love you, I
love you, I love you multiple times over. I’m actually super fucking proud of
myself for handling last night and this morning like a boss without a drop of
coffee. This is my reward.
Whoever said love at first sight isn’t real is clearly not a diehard coffee
fanatic.
Walking over to my guys while practically embracing my cup like a
lover with my hand, I inhale the steam wafting up to my nose. This shit is
liquid crack, I swear.
Pulling my chair out, I sit down and take my first glance at the guys,
who are all staring at me. Should I have put makeup on or something? I
shrug—the subtle art of not giving a fuck—and pick at the food on their
plates, knowing they always got more for this exact reason.
“One day, Lana, I want you to look at me the way you look at coffee.”
Leo shakes his head with a wistful expression on his face and sighs. “One
day.” 
The rest of the guys chuckle and nod in agreement, while Luke smirks.
“Oh brother, I think she was looking at you like that in the hallway a few
minutes ago.”
My cheeks flame and I drag the nearest plate to me, shoving food into
my piehole to avoid having to speak. I still don’t know how we’re going to
figure this relationship thing out. What if someone gets jealous that I kissed
Leo like that? I pray that no one reads into his comment. This whole
dynamic is still so new and I’m not sure where we all stand on the subject
yet.
Stare at your coffee, Lana. Don’t make eye contact. Do not engage.
 To my surprise, no one even blinks twice at his comment. I narrow my
eyes, suspicious. Are they trying to put me at ease or do they really not
care?
Before I can decide either way, the conversation shifts and my high
spirits plummet. 
“I hate to be the one to bring this up,” Hale says, “But what type of
arrangements do you guys want to do for Beth?” 
At the mention of Beth, we all fall into silence. 
I don’t know if the guys have had a chance to think about what they
want to do so I share my idea. “I think we should have her cremated and
spread her ashes somewhere special. She enjoyed being in nature and
prayed to Gaia in the end. That feels right.”
My answer causes a round of agreement and I feel weight lifting from
my shoulders. I didn’t want to have to argue against a casket but the thought
makes my skin crawl. I know Beth wouldn’t have wanted to be confined to
a box in the ground.
The guys continue to talk, discussing places where we could spread her
ashes. Eventually, the conversation shifts to everyone sharing their favorite
memories of Beth. The times she’d get exasperated with Luke and Leo for
never being ready on time—don’t we all—or how she often let Hale
organize things in the house to satisfy his controlling nature. Or the time
Ash refused to eat his vegetables as a kid and they had a standoff for an
hour. None of us had imagined she could get as strict as she did with the
brussels sprouts. Or the cooking disasters with Zedd.
I keep the secret period party close to my heart but contribute every now
and then. But mostly, I’m happy to listen to the men I love share stories
about the woman who raised us. 
As the guys laugh around me and I sit with a smile on my face, I realize
that I’m not having an emotional breakdown, which shocks the hell out of
me. Some self-sabotaging part of me wonders if it’s because I didn’t love
her enough but I quickly quiet that lying bitch quickly. 
I think about what Gaia told me. 
Though Beth loved her time with us, I wonder if some part of her soul
had always known something more awaited. If it had yearned to be reunited
with her family.  
Knowing she is finally at peace with her husband and son, and that she
had spent her gifted years with us brings me peace. Her soul had called out
and had been handpicked to love and protect us. We couldn’t have asked for
a better mom to fill that role.
Maybe one day, we’ll be reunited with her.
Thank you, Gaia.

As we walk through the doors of the small-town hospital, I gulp, hating the
feeling of being in the building. The sterile white walls, the ill people in the
waiting rooms, the tired hospital staff, the death in the air—it all makes my
skin crawl with how unnatural it feels. It all feels so wrong. Not to mention
the damage throughout the hospital. It’s astounding that they’re still running
full force.
After Hale checks us in, they promptly lead us down the hall and into
the mortuary.
A tall, elderly man with a balding head pulls out the cold chamber that
stores Beth’s body. He pulls the sheet down to expose her face and I latch
onto the hand closest to me. It doesn’t matter which guy it is. We’re all
going through the same thing here and we all need to lean on each other to
get through this.
“Is this Beth Sanders?” the old worker asks us in his gravelly, monotone
voice.
 “It is,” Hale answers for the group.
Nodding, the worker jots down some notes on his clipboard. “Have you
decided what arrangements you would like for her body?”
The severity of the situation sinks in and grief flows through me,
knowing this will be the last time I see her. On shaky legs, I walk up to her
side, knowing I need to make peace with what comes. Yesterday, I wasn’t in
the right mental state to say goodbye for the last time and today, I know so
much more about Beth’s journey in my life. 
Though I want to wallow, mourn and grieve, I don’t know the journey
that awaits. I know I have an uphill battle to climb.
As the men discuss what we decided with the worker, I place my hand
over her cold one and begin to say goodbye quietly. “Thank you for
choosing to call out to Gaia as your soul tried to pass. I always joked you
were my guardian angel and I hadn’t even known it was the truth.” Stray
tears fall down my face. It feels cathartic, like a weight is lifting off of me.
“I can handle it from here.” I smile sadly. “You raised an incredible woman,
if I do say so myself, and a damn good group of men to support me. Rest
easy and tell your family thank you for letting me have you for a few
years.”
I lean down to kiss the back of her hand softly as a warm hand lands on
my back. Standing back up, I turn and look up through my wet lashes to
find Hale staring lovingly at Beth. The rest of them come over and say their
silent goodbyes. 
As the worker tells us that it’s time to leave, an overwhelming sense of
love and pride washes through my body, causing me to stare wide-eyed at
the others. Their faces mimic my own and I know they’re feeling this as
well. 
We feel your love, Beth.
Smiling and wiping the remaining tears from my face, I turn and walk
out of the door, feeling at peace. I walk straight out of the hospital, not
wanting anything to dampen the love I’m feeling. The guys can finish up
the paperwork for the cremation. I know they won’t mind.
“About damn time,” a sarcastic, female voice calls over to me. “I feel
like I’ve been waiting for hours.” I turn to look at a willowy woman with
teal hair and silver eyes.
Who the fuck? I have no clue who she is.
Clearly, she has the wrong person. I continue to walk away as I wait for
the guys to join me.
“You’re seriously going to fucking ignore me? Gaia warned me that that
was your coping mechanism but I didn’t think it would start this soon.” 
Wait a fucking minute, did she just say Gaia?
Swiveling on my heels to stare at the ethereal woman, it clicks into
place that of course she would. I don’t know a single, human woman who
can rock teal hair and silver eyes and still manage to look like a runway
model.
But I don’t appreciate her tone. “Are you another Goddess? No offense,
you’re not giving me the same powerful vibes Gaia did in my dream.” 
She throws her head and laughs a throaty laugh. I examine her strange
outfit as she amuses herself. Black leather pants are molded to her lower
body like a glove, while her upper body is covered in a small black tank
top, causing her pale skin to stand out further. Silver necklaces, with what
look like crescent moons and stars, adorn her neck.
Damn her for looking so chic and badass.
“No, I’m not a Goddess, but thanks for the backhanded compliment.
Appreciate it.”
Ignoring her sarcastic jab, I ask, “Who are you??”
“Serenity.”
“Seriously? Serenity?” I scoff and take in her almost-gothic clothes.
Somebody with that name should be wearing floral prints and bright colors.
“There’s nothing serene about your look or personality so far.” 
 She looks me up and down with a shit-eating grin, almost like she’s
enjoying this. “That’s funny coming from someone whose name spelled
backwards is ANAL. I can see the similarities to an asshole though so if it
fits…” She trails off with a wink.
No way did this bitch just compare me to someone’s asshole.
I push my shoulders back and cock an eyebrow at her. “Listen here,
Serenity. You might think your hot shit and that the world should bow down
to whatever you have to say but that’s not going to fly with me.”
She leans against the wall and inspects her black, manicured nails.
“Listen here, Anal. I don’t think I’m hot shit. I know I’m hot shit. I also
know that I’m the witch in charge of training you and your mates so I’d
suggest you drop the attitude.”
The fucking audacity. Witch? More like Witch Bitch.
Wait… Did she say mates? As we stare each other down, my men
choose that moment to stroll out of the hospital doors and interrupt the bad
bitch standoff. 
This isn’t over, my glare says to her. 
No, the fuck it isn’t, her smirk shoots back.
“Uhh, Lana. Who’s this?” Ash glances up and down at Serenity, making
my temper flare. I narrow my eyes at the traitor. I don’t give a fuck if it’s a
casual look. He needs to focus on me.
Eyes on the prize, buddy.
I purse my lips. “She has been sent by Gaia to annoy the shit out of
me.”
Serenity pushes off the wall and walks over to where our group is
gathered, her black boots clicking against the pavement. She looks so
unbothered and perfectly put together that it grinds my gears for some
reason.  
She stops in front of us. “Now that I’ve got all of you together, let me
break down what’s going to happen, kids. Gaia sent me here to gather all of
you because apparently shit’s about to hit the fan in the Fae realm. I’m
going to take you guys to my realm to shelter you and train you with my
men. Are we clear?”
With mouths agape, we all share incredulous looks. We’re going to
another realm? 
I pull my eyes from Zedd’s at the sound of some weird-ass chanting,
only to see Witch Bitch swirling an oval-shaped blob of purple, pink and
teal in the air in front of her.  
Are those fucking sparkles?
“Don’t worry, I’ve cast a glamour over this area. No one can see us.
Time to go, Anal and mates. Step through the portal and try not to puke.
You’ll be fine.”
I look to the sky in exasperation. Gaia, why her?
Not wanting to look like a pussy in front of her, I square my shoulders
and walk straight towards the portal, ignoring the guys’ calls to let them go
first. I refuse to show any weakness in front of this woman who seems to
get off on challenging me.
Glancing at her face, I step through the portal, catching a glimpse of
Serenity’s shocked face. I think I see a hint of begrudging respect.
Oh, fuck, I’m definitely going to puke, I think when the sensation of my
limbs being pulled apart and jumbled in my body hits full-force. Fuck you,
Witch Bitch.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twelve

OceanofPDF.com
 ASH

Did that sound like a challenge? It sure as fuck did to Lana apparently. I can
see her ego rearing its head at Serenity’s words. 
Lana takes a step towards the portal and I resist the urge to grab her and
throw her over my shoulder like a caveman. If I undermine her in front of
this strange woman, my girl may actually kill me. 
I decide then and there that I owe Lana a pink ass for trying to prove
herself to a woman we should be cross checking, instead of blindly
believing.
A deep growl vibrates through my chest as I watch her delectable ass
vanish through the portal. As soon as her body disappears, it’s like someone
zapped us with a one-thousand-volt shock and we all instantly run after her
to make sure she’s safe, rushing to jump through the unknown magic.
Witches with magic portals sent by unseen Goddesses? What a
clusterfuck. 
Gaia, you better keep Lana safe.
I take the rear as the rest of the guys file through in a single line,
refusing to leave my brothers unprotected from behind. Without removing
my eyes from Serenity’s face, I watch her intently, trying to read her. 
She glances over at me and arches an eyebrow, staring right back with a
chin lift that says defiantly that she isn’t intimidated. 
 You should be scared, little witch. I’ll do anything to protect my family.
She drawls like she’s bored. “You really shouldn’t stare at me so much.
It’ll rile up your mate.”
Mate?
Rolling my eyes at her assumption that I was checking her out, I say,
“First of all, I’m not interested in you. I just don’t fucking trust you, which
is why I’ll be watching you. Secondly, what do you mean by mate?”
Her eyes look like they’re going to bug out of her head at my question
and she bursts into laughter at my words. “You mean to tell me you don’t
know you’re all Lana’s mates?”
I frown. “Well, of course we’re friends. We grew up together. We’re just
starting to approach the subject of dating her.”
As she looks at me like I’m the dumbest person, alive or dead, I begin to
worry about taking too long to go through the portal. I know the guys will
take care of her but I need to see her myself.
She scoffs. “Great. Another thing I’m going to have to explain to you
guys. As if I needed more on my list. Did your mommy have the birds and
bees talk with you or would you like a labelled diagram while I’m at it?” 
I glare at her. She better not fucking mention Beth again. “I don’t have
time for this.” 
Putting her out of my mind, I walk through the portal, instantly gritting
my teeth at the sensation. This is not something I’ll be in a rush to do again.
Bright colors and patterns assault my vision for what feels like an eternity
before my vision goes dark and my body flops onto a hard surface. 
Well, that was graceful. 
Please let me have ended up in the right place in one piece.
I open my eyes to a hazy purple sky with more stars than I could ever
imagine seeing. It’s an incredible view, though I get the sense I’m in a
preschool girl’s cotton candy, fairytale land. Fuck, I hope the Fae realm is
all red and masculine and shit. I need a little of me, Tarzan, you, Jane to
recover from this girly world.
As I stare at the sky, copper hair and blue eyes fill my vision. Finally,
something familiar. She leans over and pokes my cheek. “Pretty neat, huh?
But if you don’t mind, we’ve been waiting on you and Witch Bitch to come
through the portal for a while so get your ass up. Time seems to work
differently here. It’s already late afternoon.”
Detecting a hint of jealousy in her words, I smirk. “Why are you acting
like I’m interested in the witch?”
She glowers at me. “Maybe because you were blatantly checking her
out and then stayed behind for some unknown reason?”
Groaning at how wrong she has the situation; I do the only thing I can
think of. 
I put a hand on the back of her head and drag her lips to mine. She falls
on me, her knees falling on either side of my body, as she hesitates to return
the kiss, clearly caught off guard. But only seconds later, she melts into me
as her hands make their way to my chest as I deepen the kiss, teasing her
tongue with my own.
Finally.
“Are you done pissing on your territory, Anal?” Serenity calls out with
her arms crossed over her chest, lightly tapping her foot against the ground.
Lana pulls up, a beautiful flush staining her cheeks as she glances
around, clearly forgetting we had an audience. I happened to relish in it.
Good. Let them see I’m not afraid to take what’s mine.
 I frown at the intrusive thought. No. She’s ours. Where did that come
from?
Shaking off the strange possessive emotion, I sit up and kiss her on the
cheek, enjoying the heat of her blush. I jump to my feet and offer her a
hand, pulling her up and tucking her into my side. My hand rests in the dip
of her narrow waist, enjoying the flare of her hip when I rub up and down.
She’s so fucking sexy and doesn’t even know it.
I glance at all the guys and they all look mostly unbothered by the
display of affection, which is fan-fucking-tastic. Zedd looks uncomfortable,
darting his gaze away, but that’s likely because he’s nervous about how
he’ll progress with Lana physically than anything else. 
We definitely need to have an open, group discussion about how to
proceed because we’re all just winging it. I don’t want to offend anyone
with my affection for her but I’m tired of holding it back so we need to get
shit straight. 
With the blackout rage at the inn, I have enough going on in my head
without needing another load to worry about. When Zedd told me what
happened after I woke up, guilt consumed me. My mind still can’t
comprehend what happened. I don’t remember anything past going to the
shower to calm down from the events at the house. 
The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt one of the guys that I’ve
called my brothers my entire life. I’d lay down my life for my family in an
instant, no questions asked. I’m just glad Zedd is giving me the benefit of
the doubt and a second to figure this out without the rest of the group
knowing.
As Lana and I walk over to the rest of the group, I take in the
surrounding landscape, noticing there are a lot of similarities to the human
realm. Large magnolia trees surround us and I take a deep breath in to take
in the unique, floral scent, richer than on Earth. 
Serenity claps her hands to get our attention before dropping them to
her hips, standing with her long, teal hair moving slightly in the gentle
wind. “Listen up, buttercups. You are now in the witch realm which means
you play by my rules. I hold the balance in this realm and it’s my job to
make sure newbs like you don’t screw it up.”
 We just stand there, listening, because we’re so far out of our element
here, it’s insane. It’s probably best to have all the information to avoid
certain death. If anyone gets us killed, it’ll be Lana or the twins. 
She continues. “Witch realm equals magic. You’ll see a lot of things that
you won’t be able to wrap your heads around since you were raised as
humans. You need to pay attention and stay sharp. We don’t have time to
play catch up but we have to because of your upbringing.” She drops her
characteristic goading tone as she looks in each of our eyes. “I will not let
Gaia down.”
I find myself nodding to her words. Maybe she’s worth learning from—
if she can stop hounding Lana long enough to focus. For some reason, I
don’t think that’s happening. They seem like water and oil. 
This is going to be a nightmare. 
Lana huffs, clearly not ready to let go of the disrespect. “We’re not
idiots. You don’t need to talk down to us just because we were raised as
humans.” 
I pinch her side to try to get her to stop and she glares at me before
turning to Serenity.
Women.
Serenity gives Lana a look that could freeze hell over. “Well, once
you’ve proven yourself to be anything other than an immature, spoiled little
girl, I’ll start talking to you with some respect, Anal.” 
Oh shit.
Lana seethes and takes a step towards her. “Who the fuck do you think
—”
“Lana!” I grab her around the waist as she struggles to get to Serenity,
ready to pounce on her. 
Can’t say I blame her because damn, that was harsh.
Hale takes a step forward to try to diffuse the tension, addressing both
women. “Listen. Clearly you two aren’t going to be best friends but can we
try to focus on the task at hand?” 
Good job, bud. Keep them on track.
Feigning mock surprise, Serenity puts a hand over her heart. “Whatever
could you possibly mean? Anal and I clearly have a friendship that will
stand the test of time.”
“Witch Bitch,” Lana mutters under her breath.
Serenity laughs and turns away, walking to who knows where. “Let’s
go, kids.”

Luke

About half a mile after we started following Serenity like cute, little
ducklings, I snag Lana’s hands as her eyes light up, taking in the city we’re
approaching. Brightly-colored houses, every color of the rainbow, swarm
the hillside, while a lone, black mansion sits on the top of the hill like a
dark shadow. 
Lana takes in the town in awe, while I look at her in a similar vein. This
gorgeous, feisty, take-charge woman who kissed me this morning like her
life depended on it. My gaze falls to her slightly-parted lips. 
That mouth could do so many dirty things to me.
Though I want to grab her, lay her down on the grass and have my way
with her, I instead settle on appeasing the need for physical touch with a
squeeze of her hand. I know she’s struggling with the strange dynamic
between Serenity and herself but she needs to know we’re on her side no
matter what. 
This is a new emotional side to me that’s kind of scaring the shit out of
me but I know I need to stop thinking of just myself if I want to treat her
right.
 To me, it’s obvious that Serenity is goading Lana for the pleasure of a
challenge. With the way she reacted when Ash stayed behind with Serenity,
I know Lana is insecure about her position in our lives and Serenity may
take advantage of that. But I’ve seen enough girls fighting over my brother
and I to know that Serenity has no real interest in us. 
All we can do to make Lana feel more secure is make sure we’re open
with our displays of affection in front of the perceived competitor.
And we need to have that talk. Yesterday.
Lana tears her gaze away from the enchanting view and beams up at
me, her anger clearly forgotten when faced with this beautiful new world.
With her fondness for bright colors and nature, this is probably a dream
come true for her.
We draw closer to the outskirts of the town when Serenity holds her
hand up for us to halt, pausing our advancement.
What now? We were doing so good in silence.
Three men wink into existence in front of Serenity, scaring the shit out
of us as we jump back. They’re well over six-feet with power rolling off of
them in waves, making me want to hide like a pussy with my tail between
my legs. 
Holy fucking intense.
She walks up to the white-haired guy with piercing green eyes, much
like Ash’s and places her hand on his chest while looking at the black-
haired guy and redhead lovingly. I can see the affection that runs through
her to them and smirk inside. Yeah, she’s really not interested in us. 
She explains, “Our city is warded around the outskirts to not allow
strangers in. Seth here is my earth mage. He draws on nature’s energy to
construct an invisible net of magic.” 
He chants in a language I don’t understand and gestures with his hands.
Suddenly, white sparks fizzle in the air and a rectangular opening forms
where I assume the invisible net is. The edges of the opening shimmer. Am I
on ecstasy? Is this what that feels like?
“Come on through,” Seth’s deep voice booms.
I am not walking through what looks like sparklers on crack. No way.
Once again, Lana leads and I want to hang my head in defeat when she
drags me by the hand behind her. Okay, Luke. Can’t look like a pussy in
front of your woman.
As I’m about to cross through, I pinch my eyes shut, just in case one of
the sparks decides to go wild and fly into my eye. Not that my eyelid will
be much protection. Where’s my magic when I need it? Will water even do
anything to deter a flying sparkler? 
I keep walking with my eyes closed and distracting myself as Lana
guides me blind. After a few steps, I make an educated guess that we’re
through—unless doorways are five feet wide in the witch realm because
why the fuck not—and open my eyes again to Lana staring at me. When did
she stop walking?
Mirth dances across her features. Did she see my eyes closed? “Don’t
worry, Luke. I’ll protect you from the big bad doorway.”
Damn it.
I gape at the disrespect. “Listen here, my Queen. I just had something in
my eye. I’ll be doing the protecting around here.”
She scoffs as the rest of the group rejoins us, my family on one side and
Serenity and her guys facing off in front of us. The way we’re standing, it
looks we’re getting ready to fight—or maybe a dance off.
The man with long, red hair, tied in a bun, and glowing, silver eyes
leans down and whispers into Serenity’s ear. She meets his gaze with
exasperated amusement before snapping her fingers. The moment she
snaps, a large wave of power rolls over my body and I fall on my ass from
the force. It felt like a tidal wave pushing me back and I turn to see the rest
of the guys on their asses too.
 Only Lana stands, clenching her jaw with her body tense.  
She leans up and gives the redhead a chaste kiss on his lips, as he meets
her halfway. “Sorry, kids. I forgot I had my glamour spell on to hide my
power from the humans. Derrick was kind enough to remind me before it
drained me too much.” 
Well damn, she’s powerful. I’ll take that dance off now instead of a
fight. 
Lana folds her arms across her chest, acting unimpressed. “That’s all
you’ve got?” 
Serenity openly laughs at the arrogance in my girl’s voice. “Oh Anal …
you asked for it.”
With a few soft words and a flick of her wrist, Lana goes flying
backwards with a screech, tumbling over and over.
She’s the cutest tumbleweed I’ve ever seen.
Serenity calls out to the rest of us as we pick ourselves up. “Let’s head
to where you’ll be staying so you can get situated.”
This chick is damn powerful and I don’t want to fuck with her. I will
never admit that out loud though because Lana would chop my dick off. I
have too many plans with Lana and my dick to have it chopped off this
early in life. 
Ash rushes over to Lana and picks her up, whispering soothing words to
her as she dusts herself off.
Yikes—that had to have wounded her ego.
“Onward, fam,” Leo quips as Serenity and her men weave their way
through the cobblestone street.
Lana wanders over to Zedd, clearly avoiding drawing attention to
herself after how she had her ass handed to her. She’s not used to losing so I
can guess she’ll sit back and lick her wounds for a bit. 
As we make our way through the city, she begins interrogating him
about the structure of the buildings around us and I tune them out,
captivated by the bright colors that don’t seem to clash. Even the people
who walk around the streets are dressed in strange clothing in various
shades and colors.
It’s pretty strange how the city is so lively and vibrant, while Serenity
and her men are decked out, head-to-toe, in black.
Curious, I call out to Serenity’s back. “Hey, if all these witches seem to
love color so much, then why are you all dressed in black? And I’m
guessing that’s your house on the hill? The black one?”
“I’m color blind!” 
Oh shit, I’m such an asshole. “I am so sorry. I didn’t realiz—”
“I’m fucking with you. I just like black.” 
All of her men break out into laughter as I facepalm, deciding to shut
the fuck up for the rest of the pleasant walk. Minutes later, we arrive in
front of a navy-blue, two-story home with a large, wrap-around front porch
behind a fence gate. It looks like Barbie and Ken’s marital home. 
Serenity throws the door to the gate open. “Home sweet home. The
fridge is spelled to give you ingredients you need and we’ve already zapped
in clothing and essential items so make yourselves comfortable. Take the
rest of the night to settle in. We’ll be back bright and early to start your
training tomorrow.”
As soon as she finishes talking, they vanish into thin air without a
goodbye. I will never get used to that.
I turn to Lana, sweeping the air with my arm and bending at the waist to
put a smile on her face. “My Queen, your palace awaits!” 
She clasps her hands together and bats her eyes at me. “Will you carry
me over the threshold?” 
“It would be my honor.” I straighten and scoop her bridal-style into my
arms, enjoying the way she fits against me. 
One day, we’ll do this for real.  
 Wait, fuck. That’s so far away. Don’t think like that this early, Luke.
You’ll scare her off.
Pushing the large, white front door open, I carry Lana over the threshold
and get our first look at the interior. It’s a completely open floor plan with
dark hardwood floors, cream walls and a high ceiling. We walk straight into
the living room where a gigantic, flat-screen TV hangs over a fireplace,
home to plush white couches, bright decorative pillows and a cream throw
blanket that looks as soft as a cloud. In the kitchen, farthest from the front
door, all the cabinets are white, state-of-the-art, stainless steel appliances
reside, and a large granite island with barstools finishes it off.
The witches sure know how to live in style. 
I look towards the stairs, deducing that the bedrooms are likely on the
second floor, and make our way up there to deposit Lana onto bed. 
She lightly slaps my chest. “Luke, you can put me down now!” 
I purse my lips and shake my head like I’m so sorry to tell her that’s not
possible. “No can do. A Queen shouldn’t have to walk any more than
necessary.” 
She rolls her eyes but gives in. I know she loves it. She’d jump on us for
piggyback rides when we were younger and proudly declare that my legs
aren’t for walking—they’re for admiring.
Upstairs, the second floor is split into what appears to be only two
rooms. I walk through the first door on the left into a fully-modernized
bathroom that reminds me of a spa. A large, walk-in shower calls to me
while Lana’s gaze is lasered in on the standalone tub, big enough to fit three
of us. She squeals in my arms. “I need to soak in that tub!”
I chuckle at the childlike excitement in her voice and move to the other
door, grinning because I think I know what to expect. I open the door to a
large, white, four-post bed, the size of two California kings pushed together.
It’s front and center in the room with an array of decorative, lavender
pillows at the head. 
 Looks like we’re all going to get real comfy, real quick.
Lana looks perplexed and my grin spreads wider. “Where are the other
beds?”
I toss her into the middle of the bed and she flies through the air,
shrieking, before bouncing on the mattress. I stalk over to her and say,
“This is the only one.” 
“I don’t think this is how a Queen is treated!”
Crawling on all fours on the bed, I smirk. “I’d love to show you how a
Queen should be treated.”
A sharp intake of breath parts her pretty lips and my cock jumps. My
little minx definitely likes dirty talk.
Loud, thudding footsteps like a stampede sound up the stairs and Lana
kicks me away. Hale bursts into the room with the rest of the crew
following close behind to the sight of Lana casually lying in bed and me
slumped up against the wall now.  
“Are you okay?” Hale asks. “Why did Lana scream?”
My twin leans against the doorway and laughs. “Oh, I think Lana is just
fine, guys.”
“Yup,” she chirps, trying to pretend her cheeks aren’t flushed with
arousal. “I’m great!” 
Hale shakes his head before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Well, now
that we’re all up here and it’s clear there’s only one bed in this house, I
think it’s time we had that talk.”
Zedd nods, sitting next to him. “Yes, I think it’s needed.” 
Leo helps me up and we both climb back into bed, resting against the
headboard, sandwiching Lana between us. “Count me in,” he says on behalf
of both of us.  
Ash leans against the wall, almost looking bored. “Yup.”
Lana’s eyes dart around nervously as she wiggles to sit up all the way,
stuttering, “Uh, okay. I … I guess we can do that. Yeah.” 
 Get ready, Lana, because once this talk is done and you give me the go-
ahead, I’m going to make you writhe on my tongue all night long.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Thirteen

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

Hot In Here by Nelly plays on a loop in my head as I shift uncomfortably

between the twins. They’re radiating so much heat, it’s making me want to
rip my clothes off and fan myself. Strictly because of the temperature, of
course.
Why do they all have to be so damn hot and clustered in one bedroom
together? Have some consideration for a girl’s sanity!
Since there’s no point prolonging the inevitable, and I’m past the stage
where I can feign ignorance. I clear my throat and call out nervously, “It has
come to my attention that you would all like the honor of romancing the
Queen and, truly, this is not an opportunity to be taken lightly. If you are
looking for a passing fling, well, then … off with your head!” I end with
miming a decapitation with my finger and throwing my chin up in the air. 
I may have edged into dramatics at the end there but I’m damn nervous.
I know they know me well enough to read behind the lines and I hope they
know I’m being serious about the fling. 
That’s not an option. Not with them.
If we’re going down this road, I’m here until the end. I want them all
and I want their all—physically and emotionally. If I’m ready to give them
everything, I’ll be asking for the same. 
 Leo trails a finger over the back of my arm, leaving goosebumps in his
wake. “I’m in it to win it.” 
A soft kiss lands on my shoulder and I turn to Luke, staring at me
through his long, blonde lashes. I want to swim in his eyes, as deep and
blue as the ocean. “Anything for you.”
At this point, I’m ready to combust under the heat of their touch and
attention.
Though he doesn’t touch me like the brothers, Zedd’s gentle presence
draws my attention. “It’s always been you for me, Lana.” 
Stick a dick in me and call it a day. My heart swells at his soft words, so
raw and honest. Any day now, I’m expecting a confession that he didn’t
date because of his feelings for me and when that happens, I don’t think I’ll
be able to keep myself from jumping him. 
That leaves Ash and Hale. I swing my gaze between the two, ping-
ponging to see who’ll speak first. From their behavior and their kiss, I know
they want this but I need to hear the words. I need something to remember
if I’m ever feeling unsure.
Ash groans and bangs his head against the wall. “Yes, Lana, I want to
date you. I thought it was obvious.”
I smile goofily at him, not even a little put-off by his exasperation.
“Don’t sound too excited, dude.”
He rolls his eyes and I move on to my final victim, levelling him with
the best puppy dog eyes he’ll ever live to see. 
“Little One, you own me. That is not something I want to fight
anymore.” 
At his answer, I can’t help the delighted squeal that escapes me. Mine.
They’re all mine. And I’m theirs. Something in me settles with that
knowledge and I file it away as irrefutable fact.
“But,” he says, sobering me up with his serious tone. “There are a few
things we need to discuss as a group so that we avoid crossing any lines or
hurting anyone’s feelings.”
Ugh, what a drag.
I lean back against the pillows and the twins immediately snuggle
against me like newborn kittens searching for a heat source. My sides are
burning from the heat they radiate but fuck it. Running my fingers through
their short hair, I listen as Hale lays down the law.
“Jealousy is going to be the number one issue for us, especially at the
beginning. Clearly, there is only one Lana and five of us. We’re going to
need to learn how to share.” He levels the twins with a look that has them
burrowing deeper into my sides and I almost expect them to hiss at him.
They both throw one arm over my stomach and I’m on cloud-fucking-nine.
No one can bring me down from this. 
“There’s also the topic of sex.”
Ooooh, yes. Turn up the heat!
“I think we all need to hold off on sex until we settle into this and find a
way to equally share Lana. We don’t want to rush her.”
Hold up. 
I try to sit up but the twins have arms as heavy as boulders. Giving in, I
flop back down and try to sound authoritative from under the snuggle pile.
“Um, excuse me? I’m right fucking here. I don’t need you or anyone else
making that decision for me. If I want to suck and fuck someone’s cock
tonight, I’m going to do that. If I want to give you guys blue balls for the
next three months, I’m going to do that. I will be going at my own pace
with each individual person.”
Hale wears a look of shock and holds his hands up in surrender. “Woah,
I was just trying to make sure you don’t feel pressured by anyone.”
I know he’s trying to look out for me but he doesn’t get to decide how to
do that. No one else is making these decisions for me. I don’t want anyone
tip-toeing around me because of some proclamation he’s made.
 “I know that, Hale. However, as you said, there’s only one of me—and
the vagina rules.” I smirk at him, daring him to challenge me on this. 
A deep, throaty laugh sounds from Ash. “Holy shit, hearing her say
suck and fuck a cock might actually give me blue balls for three months.”
Laughter rings in the room at his comment, lightening the mood
tremendously. 
I notice Zedd squirming a little, not meeting my eyes and not laughing
along as enthusiastically. “Zedd, baby? Are you sure you’re okay with all of
this?”
Zedd, baby … I like the sound of that.
As the term of endearment rolls off my tongue, his face instantly flushes
red as a tomato. He’s sweet and innocent and so easily flustered. Since I
wasn’t high on the ‘experienced’ list, having this effect on him was always
a boost to my confidence.
He rubs the back of his neck, nervous. “Yeah, I’m fine.” After a beat of
silence, he says, “I’m just going to be honest—I’m a virgin. So, we can go
at whatever pace you want. I won’t rush you.”
Deep down, I expected that from my sweet man. To avoid making him
feel embarrassed, I quickly blurt out, “Well at least someone saved
themselves for me! The rest of you are heathens.”
Hale chokes slightly before patting his chest. “Actually … I’m also a
virgin.”
Mic fucking drop.
I gape at him as the rest of the guys snort or cough at the revelation.
Clearly, none of us saw this coming. He’s been on plenty of dates and, with
his good looks and charming nature, I’d always assumed he’d have easily
scored. 
Feeling slightly taken-aback, I amend my previous statement. “Fine.
Only Ash, Luke, and Leo are heathens.”
 Two noses nudge into my side, sliding my shirt up with the action,
exposing my tanned midriff. Small, wet kisses land on my stomach and my
vision dots from the rush of arousal. 
Leo whispers against my skin. “You’re right. We’re definitely heathens.
That just means we’ll make you cry our names out as you cum on our
tongues, fingers and cocks.”
A lightning bolt of pleasure shoots straight to my vagina as I imagine
the vivid scenes their dirty words evoke. 
“Alright, well, I’m going to go cook us all dinner.” 
Zedd’s voice breaks through the cloud of lust.  
“Wait! Do we still need to discuss anything else? I want everyone to
feel comfortable.” 
He’s already gone, heading downstairs to escape.
Did I offend him or hurt his feelings? Wow, you already fucked this up,
Lana. Great job.
I throw the twins’ arms off me. “Listen! Just because you guys are
comfortable with displays of affection doesn’t mean we need to rub it in his
face. I shouldn’t have let you do that in front of everyone this soon.”
“Lana, he’ll be fine,” Hale says. “He’s just embarrassed that he doesn’t
know how to act with you. He truly has no sexual experience. I’ve done
everything besides have sex so I’m not as uncomfortable as him but I get
it.”
My panic levels lower at the reassurance but I still feel like I need to
make this right with Zedd. He deserves to feel like an equal and feeling
less-than because of the extent of his sexual experience isn’t okay with me.
Besides, I quite like the thought of Hale and him not having crossed that
line with another woman.
I lean forward and crawl on all fours to the edge of the bed and
scramble to stand. Addressing the guys, I say, “I’m going down there to talk
with him. Please give us a few minutes alone.” 
 At their acceptance, I blow out a breath and walk out of the room,
bounding down the stairs on a mission to ease Zedd’s mind. I find him with
his back to me, head stuck in the fridge as he digs around. Here goes
nothing.
I make my way to him on light feet and set my palms on his back. 
He jumps. “Fuck, Lana. You scared me.”
“Sorry … I just wanted to come down here and talk to you privately. I
owe you an apology for letting that happen upstairs. It’s too soon for that.”
He turns around and grabs my hands. “Lana, you don’t need to
apologize. It’s something I need to become comfortable with on my own.”
Sensing that he has more to say, I squeeze his hands, encouraging him. With
a quiet exhale, he says, “I just worry that I won’t be able to satisfy your
needs like the rest of the guys will. Even Hale has done more than me.”
I want to shake my head at him but I get it. He just doesn’t see that
pleasure isn’t only about skill—it’s about connection. He needs to realize
the extent, the depth, of our connection.
I step closer to him, until I’m flush with his chest, and look up into his
hazel eyes. “Can I kiss you, Zedd, baby?”
He lips part on instinct and he nods. I reach up and twine my fingers in
his hair, pulling him down as I had Luke, but gentler, slower. As our lips
meet, I keep it light, letting him settle into the sensation, but he surprises me
by crushing me to him almost instantly. His arms band around my waist and
he molds me into him, groaning into my mouth.  
Perhaps I underestimated him.
Flicking my tongue to tease his mouth, he eagerly opens up and meets
me with his own. I grip his shirt in my fists, pushing up onto my toes to
deepen the kiss. His arms loosen from around my waist and his hands drift
to my ass, surprising me with his forwardness.
Against his mouth, I say, “You’re a pretty great kisser, Zedd. Are you
sure you haven’t done this before?” 
 I can’t help but tease him because it feels like he knows exactly what
he’ll do with me. 
His hands tighten on my ass. “You’re going to be my first everything.
Luckily, it just feels natural with you.” 
Melt my panties off, why don’t you?
Unexpectedly, he loosens the hold he has on my ass and I drop back to
the flats of my feet, confused by the abrupt change.
I look up to read his face but he’s just looking at me adoringly. He leans
down to kiss my forehead, lingering there momentarily.  “I need to get to
cooking for my girlfriend. Can’t have her going hungry on our first official
night together.”
His girlfriend. I like the sound of that.
Smiling up at him, I say, “You’re right! The Queen must be provided
with nourishment.” I clap and spin on my feet. “Get to work, peasant!”
As he chuckles behind me, I launch myself onto the corner of a couch,
just as the rest of the guys make their way downstairs. They plop down on
the large, beige sectional next to me and we momentarily have to remove
Zedd from the kitchen so he can rescue us from the challenges of
technology. He figures out how to work the app on the TV and turns on the
first Transformers movie. 
Thank you, Witch Bitch, for not being completely out of date with other
realms.
“Marathon time!” I squeal as the opening credits play and Zedd makes
his way back to the kitchen to cook. I pull him by the hand and drag him
down for a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for cooking, Zedd.”
The guys echo my sentiment, to which Zedd cheekily replies, “I’m only
doing this because of my girlfriend! Not for you, assholes.”
Aaand we’re back to normal. Thank the Goddess.
By the time the first movie is finished, the table in front of us is set with
plates, glasses, drinks and a meal of oven-baked chicken and fresh veggies.
We devour it as the second movie plays. Leo and Luke offer to put the
dishes away and I rest against the sofa, a full meal and sleep deprivation
lulling me to give up the fight with fatigue and let my eyes drift shut. 
Just a quick nap.

The sound of guns and cars crashing has me stirring against the warm body
I must have sought out in my sleep. I slept through the first Transformers?
The world is truly ending. 
As I snuggle into the person I’m molded into—sorry, not sorry, Hale—
he says, “Are you awake, Little One?”
Wiggling against him, I grumble, “No.”
He chuckles. “Well, the rest of the guys have taken turns showering
already. I stayed here since you were sleeping so peacefully. Do you want to
take a shower or a bath?”
Ah, a hot shower sounds so nice. “I’ll save the bath for another night.
I’ll just head up and take a quick shower. Thank you!”
Scrambling out of his lap, I run up the stairs, desperate to feel the near-
scalding water against my grimy skin. Bleurgh. The memory of Witch
Bitch’s portal comes to mind and I suddenly want to wash it all off. 
Just as I go to open the door, it swings open to a half-naked Ash, with a
towel wrapped around his waist. Droplets of water run down his large
frame, the wetness accentuating his defined muscles, and I trail a particular
one that starts from the hollow of his neck, over his chest, kissing his abs,
down to that tantalizing V-line before it disappears into the towel wrapped
around his waist.
I want to lick those drops off of him. Fuck, I want to be as close to him
as the water—
 “Don’t look at me like that, Lana,” he says, a warning in his voice. “I
don’t have the same control as the others and I will very eagerly mark your
ass as mine the second you consent.”
His words do nothing but spur on the heat spreading inside me. Mark
me? It makes me want to orgasm on the spot. Looking him up and down
with a coy smile, I bite my bottom lip.
He shakes his head. “You’re not ready for me, Lana.”
It’s like he dumped ice over the fire that was building. Did he really just
insinuate that I can’t take him? Like I’m beneath him? I glare at him and
flick my hair over my shoulder, pushing past him and into the bathroom.
Firmly shutting the door behind me, I lock it. 
Fuck him.
I strip off my clothes and climb into the walk-in shower. Multiple
showerheads hang from the ceiling and on the side of the wall. I turn the
handle, surprised that the water is already preset to the temperature I like.
Just hot enough to scald for a second before it starts loosening my muscles.
I guess there are some pluses to the witch realm.
As the heat of the water cools my anger, I think about Ash. Is he right?
Am I just upset because of what I think I heard? I allow myself to truly
think about what I’m ready for. 
Deep down, I’m nervous to come across as the inexperienced lover I am
to the three men who know what they’re doing. I’m struggling with the idea
that they have previous experiences that they can compare me to. What if,
when they weigh me against their pasts, I come off as subpar?
And though I love Ash and Hale’s dominant natures outside of the
bedroom, I can’t deny that I need to be in charge of the situation to feel
comfortable enough in our advancing sexual relationships. I don’t want to
let my past haunt me. What if something triggers me and it ruins these
incredible memories we’re making?
 I know I need to work past the fear of being inadequate and make sure
that we move forward on everyone's terms. There’s no doubt in my mind
that I want to experience everything with all of them—but I need to be
honest with them, and myself, so that we can be prepared for my triggers if
we find any.
Finishing up my shower, I grab the plush, lavender towel from the towel
rack and dry myself as best I can without a hairdryer. I grab another, smaller
towel and create a towel turban for my hair, while wrapping the bigger
towel around myself. 
I walk into the bedroom to find all the guys sprawled out, talking, and I
try to figure out how to tell them what I admitted to myself in the shower.
Though I’m still not happy with Hale dictating how he thinks we should
proceed, he wasn’t entirely wrong in his suggestions. And he did mean the
best. I was just too quick to wave him away because he stepped on my ego.
He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
Without waiting to see if I have their attention, I word vomit from the
doorway. “While showering, I was thinking about the topic of sex. Hale was
right when he said I need to not be pushed but I also know that I don’t want
to be treated like glass. I’m sorry for jumping down your throat, Hale. You
were partly right.”
They sit up from their slouching position, wide-eyed, likely because I
actually apologized. But I did emphasize that he was partly right. Baby
steps.
“For now, what I propose is that you allow me to be the one to initiate
anything new in our individual relationships until I’m comfortable. You all
vaguely know that something wasn’t right before I met Beth and you guys.
Though I’m not ready to go into details, and likely will never be, I’d like to
replace those memories with new memories with you all.”
Hale stands up and comes over to me, dropping a light kiss on my lips.
“I wish I could take those memories from you but I’m grateful you trust us
to make new ones with you.” 
The rest of them follow. Ash hugs me to him and whispers in my ear,
“One day, I’ll mark you as mine but only when you’re ready. For now,
know that you have my heart.”
My breath catches at Ash’s emotional sentiment. I’m so caught off-
guard by it that I barely register when he leans down to peck me on the
lips. 
He moves to sit down and the twins come up to me together, holding
my hands. “At your speed, always,” Luke says softly while Leo looks at me
with a gentleness I’ve never seen in his eyes.
I extract my hands from them and land a soft kiss to each of their lips,
not wanting them to feel excluded. 
They sprawl out onto the bed as Zedd walks up to me, staring deep into
my eyes. “We have all of our lives to explore the physical aspects of our
relationship. I’m just thankful to be able to call you mine now after waiting
for so many years.” He leans down to meet me as I tilt my head up, needing
the kiss from the last piece of my soul.
When we part, I blow out a breath and smile at them, feeling like I made
the right decision to tell them. It feels good to know that I’ve found men
who will help me heal, on my terms. 
Luke lies on the bed with his hands behind his head, observing me with
a smile. “You look so damn cute with your little towel head.” 
I roll my eyes but appreciate that he’s always trying to lighten a
situation. Walking over to the drawers, I open a random one and am
shocked to see all the articles of clothing that I could ever need inside.
Score for coincidence! My eye catches on the few black leather outfits and I
smirk. 
Hell yes. I’ll finally look as badass as Witch Bitch.
Pulling a black satin pajama set out, I quickly return to the bathroom to
change into the shorts and tank before coming back to our bedroom. 
 Where am I supposed to sleep? In the middle?
Zedd and Hale are on the ends of the would-be orgy, with the twins and
Ash in the middle. At my visible discomfort, Ash says, “Lana, turn the
damn light off and crawl in. We’ll all behave tonight.”
Yes, sir.
Flicking off the switch, I clamber into the bed and place myself dead in
the middle, between Ash and Luke. I nuzzle into the feather-stuffed pillow
and sigh, a lightness in my soul. 
Bring on the training, Witch Bitch. 
I’m ready.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Fourteen

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

The smell of coffee and bacon tickles my nose and I rise from my slumber
like a vampire, my nose twitching in the air to take in the delicious scent.
Coffee and bacon? Come to mama! I throw off the covers and leap out of
the empty bed, racing down the stairs. 
“You assholes better have saved me some bacon or there will be hell to
pay!”
They know they have to save me coffee but they’re animals when it
comes to food. 
I slide to a stop near the kitchen island on the hardwood floor at the
sight of a woman with similar features to Serenity. I regard her suspiciously.
She’s identical to Serenity in build and facial structure but the hair and eye
color are opposite on this woman. Unlike Serenity, her long, ass-length hair
is silver and she has teal eyes.
Fuck me, is there another one? 
My mood sours as the stranger openly laughs at the scowl on my face.
“Wow, you guys weren’t joking when you told me how much she dislikes
my sister.”
Sister. Bleurgh. 
Warily, I make my way into the kitchen. Nothing, not even Witch Bitch
2.0, is keeping me from bacon. My eyes zero in with laser-like precision on
Zedd, holding a plate of deliciousness. He offers it to me and I snatch it out
of his hands, making my way to the counter and hopping onto a bar stool
where a steaming cup of coffee awaits. 
Maybe if I ignore her presence, she’ll do the same for me.
Sipping and munching, I sigh in bliss until the woman suddenly pops up
at my side and holds her hand out. I almost jump but coffee-saving instincts
kick in. 
I guess that’s a no to my plan.
“Hi, I’m Lilli. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
I eye her pale hand like it’s a shock chair but slowly reach out to shake
it with a barely-concealed wrinkle of my nose. 
“Hello.” That’s all I can politely manage.
She laughs and plops down onto the empty chair next me, leaning her
cheek on her propped-up hand. I’m irritated that the guys left her an
opening by leaving us alone in the kitchen and that this chick won’t take a
hint. 
“Listen,” she says in a lilting voice. “I know how my sister can be, more
than anyone else. She seems super arrogant and rude but it’s the only way
she knows how to handle new people. Really, she’s an awkward potato.”
I furrow my brow at her. “An awkward potato?”
She drops her hand down and nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! She doesn’t
do so well with social interaction in general. If she’s sassing you, that
means you have potential. I know it’s ass-backwards but I swear, if she just
ignored you and remained quiet like she does with most people, that would
mean you’re never going to get on her good side."
Ignoring this peppy ball of energy next to me, I look back at my bacon
and consider that. I suppose that isn’t completely unbelievable. After all, I
use sarcasm as a defense mechanism for absolutely everything. Maybe
there’s some truth to her words and she seems genuine enough so far. 
 Holding a piece of bacon and gesturing with it at Lilli, I say, “So, say I
believe that—what do I do, going forward, to smooth things over? I
wouldn’t like anything to distract from my reason for being here, which is
my training.”
Look at me trying to be mature. I deserve a pat on the back.
Lilli mulls over my question with a pinch of her lips. “Honestly, she
doesn’t have many friends, what with being the leader of our realm. If you
can give her banter right back to her, I would say keep doing that but only if
it’s in jest. Not because you dislike her. I think she’s potentially excited to
have a friend that shares the same weight of responsibilities as her, even if
she can’t see that yet.”
Well shit. Never expected to feel bad for Witch Bitch.
Finishing up my bacon, I gulp down my coffee. There’s a lot to think
about and I have nothing more to say on the matter.
“We need to head out to the training grounds before Serenity finds out
I’m letting you have a late start.”
I ask, “What time is it?”
She checks a sleek, black watch on her left wrist. “It’s about ten in the
morning. I’ve been here since eight o’clock but I figured I’d cut you some
slack on your first day, since Serenity is busy. It’s going to be a long day for
you.”
I offer her a small smile of gratitude. Maybe she really isn’t like her
sister.
I glance over to find the boys playing a video game on a device I’ve
never seen in the living area. It’s Zedd against Leo as the rest of the guys
watch intently.
That’s strange. I’ve never known them to be into video games. They
must be trying to give us privacy to the best of their ability.
“So why is Serenity suddenly busy this morning? She told me she’d be
here. Although, I must admit I’m enjoying your presence much more. I
don’t have the urge to maim you, which is a nice change.”
She doesn’t even blink at my passive-aggressive statement before
answering. “Well, in order for her to hold her position as Queen of this
realm peacefully, she invites anyone to challenge her to a duel at any point.
Gaia appointed her and gifted her with her powers but she has no problem
proving to anyone that she’s the best person for the job. If a witch feels
they’re stronger than her and would be a better leader, they issue a duel.”
Mad respect, Serenity. 
With everything Lilli shares with me, my opinion of Serenity is
changing. It must be lonely to feel like everyone is out to get you.
I get up to put my plate and cup away before leaning against the counter
with my arms crossed. “Does she get challenged often?”
Lilli hops out of her chair. “Not for the past thirty years or so. She’s
reigned for almost forty years now. In the first ten years, there were a lot of
challengers but people backed off when she beat them down, every time. It
didn’t seem worth it to take the hit to their pride, I suppose.”
What the fuck? They don’t look older than mid-twenties.
I stare at her with wide eyes. “I’m sorry. I think my ears are broken. Did
you say she’s reigned for forty years?”
She smiles gently at me. “You heard me correctly. As supernatural
creatures, we age at a fraction of the speed humans do. Technically, I am
forty-eight and Serenity is sixty-two. We’re not immortal but you can
expect to have a very long life.”
Well, damn. There might be some cool perks to this whole Fae thing
after all.
“How old are your parents?”
She drops her gaze to the ground, looking forlorn. “They’re dead.
Serenity was twenty-two when they were killed in battle with a warring,
dark kingdom in another realm. She’s raised me since. I was only eight.”
This is getting much darker than I intended. 
 Unsure how to respond, I straighten off the counter and let her know
that I’m going upstairs to change and get ready for training.  I make my
way across and up the stairs into our messy bedroom. No one bothered to
make the bed and the comforter is still bunched up from where I threw it in
my haste.
Leaving that for another time, I pull out a pair of black leather pants and
matching leather vest top from the drawer.
What the hell? Let’s try it out.
Trying to shimmy into the pants proves a battle and I almost fall over
more than once. I’m filled with a ridiculous sense of pride when I manage.
The top is much more manageable. I just slip it on and button up, pleased
with the extra boost for my boobs. Well, hello there, girls.
Spying black ankle boots with a flat sole, I pull them on and head to the
bathroom to check out my new badass outfit. I look damn good.
Excited to show off my new outfit, I skip back down, my wavy hair
bouncing lightly as I practically gallop down the stairs.
Whistles sound from the guys as they stand at the base of the stairs. I
grin and do a little twirl, showing off every angle for their viewing pleasure.
Flicking my hair, I say, “Why, thank you very much. I feel ready to take on
the world now.”
A squealing sound comes from behind the guys as Lilli pushes her way
through. “Oh my gosh, you look so hot!” she gushes, making my cheeks
flush slightly at her compliment. The compliment is different coming from
another woman. 
I never had any girlfriends growing up so dealing with this is
completely uncharted territory for me. I became somewhat of a social
pariah for the rest of the girls in school because they were jealous of my
relationship with the guys.
She’s different, Lana. Give her a chance.
I give her a genuine smile. “Thank you, Lilli. Let’s head out.”
 She holds her arms straight out, encouraging us to touch them. “I’m
going to zap us to the training grounds to save time so everyone touch my
arms, please!”
Zap us? Here goes nothing. Doing as asked, we all reach out to touch
her and are instantly transported to a new area which I assume is the
training grounds. Luckily, none of us appears to be sick. Maybe only
traveling in portals between realms causes nausea. 
Taking in the vast, open interior, I find black walls, illuminated by LED
lights hanging from the ceiling. It’s devoid of the bright colors I became
used to, which makes me think that this facility was either built for Serenity
or she gave it a gothic makeover. 
The section where we landed is covered in mats on the ground with an
intimidating obstacle course next to us, on the left. Right across from us,
there’s a weapons room with a target range off to the side. 
Holy intense. I think I might accidentally stab myself in the eye if they
make me work with those. That sounds a lot less pleasant than my penis-in-
the-eye rhyme.
As my palms begin to sweat, Serenity’s three men pop into existence,
only drawing a short gasp from me this time. See? Improvement! They
announce that they’ll be working with the guys on locating and drawing out
their powers for the day. Each of my guys drop a kiss to my cheek as they
head with them to the open area in the weapons room.
Standing awkwardly with Lilli, I say, “So … where does that leave us?”
She plops down onto the mat with a soft laugh. “Oh, I’m not training
you, silly! Serenity will be here any moment. She’s the only one that
understands your powers to some degree. Think of me as your cheerleader
on the sidelines for today.”
My mood immediately threatens to sour but I force the gloominess
back. You need to start fresh with Serenity, Lana. You can do this. She truly
is my best chance at conquering my powers and understanding my role in
this world. 
I owe it to Gaia, my realm, and my men to take this seriously. Time to
stop the catty drama and focus on what we came here to do.
As if conjured by her sister’s mention of her, Serenity pops into
existence, rolling her neck from side to side. 
“Hey!” Lilli calls out to her sister. “Did the duel go well?” 
A genuine smile spreads across Serenity's face and, for a moment, I see
the tender and kind side of her that likely raised her sister. Be nice.
“Hi, honey. Yes, it did. However, I have a small kink in my neck from
trying out a new forward roll into a knife throw.” Her gaze shifts to me,
morphing her expression into indifference as her eyes run over me. “Hey,
Anal.”
Don’t fucking do it, Lana. Don’t let her rile you. Remember everything
Lilli told you. 
Swallowing down the insult that wants to spew from my mouth, I force
myself to smile through gritted teeth. It probably looks like I’m constipated.
At least I’m trying. “Good morning, Serenity.”
At my polite response, she does a double take and stares at me like I’ve
grown multiple heads overnight. She ends her not-at-all-subtle examination
of me before nodding, as if to herself. “You look good. Let’s get to work.”
Apparently, she’s willing to drop the attitude as well. Thank the
Goddess.
Maybe it’s possible to get through this without strangling each other. It
feels a little refreshing to drop the abrasiveness and to just trust in Gaia’s
process. I highly doubt she would have sent me here without a reason. This
is likely my best shot at saving my realm.
Time to grow up.
Serenity drops to the ground and crosses her legs, gesturing for me to do
the same. Complying, I mirror her, dropping right in front of her. When I
look up at her, there’s not a trace of anything other than professionalism
there. She’s in full trainer mode. 
“The first thing we need to discuss is how your power feels inside of
you and where you hold it. As we’re a different subspecies, if you will, we
vary slightly in where we hold our power and how we use it, I’m assuming.
However, according to Gaia, I happen to be the closest comparison to you.”
I soak up the information she’s providing and admit, “I have no clue
what my power feels like. Nothing has sparked inside of me and I’ve had no
outward signs, besides a wound on my back healing really quickly.”
She takes a moment to process that. “Listen, Lana. The gifts we were
given from the Goddess are a tremendous responsibility to hold. It is
especially dangerous for you as you do not need incantations for yours to
work. They are directly linked to your emotions and your thoughts, which is
dangerous if you let them rule you.”
I don’t know what triggered that but the severity of her words sinks in. I
need to learn to process my feelings in a calm, rational manner without
lashing out or jumping to conclusions. “I understand.”
She cocks her head at me, regarding me. “Yes, I think you finally do.
You already seem different. Let’s continue.” She holds her hands out, palm
up, to me. I arch an eyebrow at her, unsure what she wants me to do. 
Huffing at my inaction, she leans forward and yanks my hands from my
lap into her grip. “I’m going to search and see if I can sense your power
within you to try to guide you towards finding it for yourself. Please close
your eyes and open yourself mentally. Let your walls down.”
I got a lot of fucking walls, girl. This might take some time.
Cracking my neck and rolling my shoulders, I settle in and do as she
asked, attempting to find a neutral mental state. Thinking about my
previous dislike for her, I let that wall crumble to the ground and feel a
lightness overtake me.
“Good job. I’m going to probe now. Don’t freak out.”
 I keep my eyes closed at her words, not wanting to break my trance,
focusing on staying calm, even though I’m nervous as hell for her. The
woman’s freaking probing my mind and body! At least buy a girl dinner
first.
“Loosen up, Lana,” she says, a reprimand in her voice.
I force myself to relax. 
A warmth spreads from my head to my neck and lands in my chest,
where it expands outwards. I almost jump away at the discomforting
sensation of her tugging around near my heart. 
She sighs and lets go of my hands. I open my eyes to look at her. “The
good news is that I found it. The bad news is that you’ve got that shit
locked up like a damn prisoner in your own body.”
I frown. I didn’t do shit to my power. It locked itself up.
Lilli speaks up. “Maybe Gaia locked it up, knowing Lana was going to
grow up in the human realm?”
I remember my brief conversation with Gaia. “She told me that I would
need to be able to harness my powers enough to sense my realm. Once I
cross over into it, my full powers and memories from my previous life will
return. Maybe this is part of the process?”
Serenity shakes her head. “I don’t think this is Gaia locking the powers
away since she’s coming into her true form. I think this is Lana
subconsciously not wanting to face what happened in her first life.” She
meets my eyes. “Perhaps your soul isn’t ready to face it and is protecting
you.”
Damn, talk about baggage.
Not wanting to feel discouraged, I shrug. “Well, I’m willing to work on
connecting with my powers for however long it takes to unlock enough to
get to my realm.”
Approval crosses over Serenity’s face as Lilli smiles at my statement. 
 Serenity hums. “Maybe Gaia chose the right person for your realm after
all. Perhaps I judged you incorrectly. Time will tell if you’ve changed.”
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Is she apologizing?
Before I can respond, she orders me to close my eyes, relax myself as
before and to try to locate and connect with my power. 
However long it takes. 

Sweat drips down my face and I grow more frustrated with every failed
attempt. Doubt is beginning to creep in. I’ve been here for hours. My head
feels like it’s pounding and my body is stiff from sitting in the same
position for so long. 
I’m giving it my all but I just can’t make that connection. Every time I
think I’m close, it slips out of my fingers and continues to evade me.
I’m trying, Gaia.
Lilli left shortly after Serenity ordered me to fall into a meditative state,
saying she had errands to run. Meanwhile, Witch Bitch left to help out with
the guys’ training, saying I needed to have room to focus alone.
Despondent and exhausted, I force myself up and stretch out the
stiffness. I wander over to the weapons room where the guys are training
and my eyes almost bug out at the scene before me. 
All of my guys are shirtless, sweating, sporting huge grins, while
holding a different color glowing orb of their power in their hands. 
What the…
Leo’s is a burnt-orange, while Luke’s is sapphire, confirming our earlier
thoughts that they’re fire and water. Typical twin shit. No biggie.
Zedd has white, while Hale’s is a green. Wind and earth, probably? That
rounds out the four typical elements.
I try to make sense of the violet in Ash’s hand. What could that be?
 Each of Serenity’s men is smiling and clapping my guys on their
shoulders. My heart swells with pride at how quickly they’ve progressed
but a seed of disappointment plants itself in my mind. Will I ever be able to
connect with my powers? How am I supposed to lead us when they’re
already surpassing me?
A light touch on my shoulder draws my gaze to Serenity’s gentle eyes.
“Our powers are much more complex to understand. Each of our men only
have the affinity for one element whereas we hold them all. Be patient with
yourself. We’ll get you there.”
Knowing that she senses my internal battle, maybe even relates to it,
creates the beginnings of a kinship between us. She saw me having a weak
moment and chose to be there for me. 
She doesn’t allow me to wallow for long, though, as she yells out to the
group, “Alright, that’s enough for today! Autobots, roll out!”
My jaw drops to the floor as all of my men look dumbfounded as well. 
Bitch, what the fuck? Did she just steal my catchphrase?

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Fifteen

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

“So, you’re telling me you snuck into the earth realm just to watch movies?
You guys have literal magic! You should be able to make your own movies
here, right?”
Serenity and I are lounging on the large sectional in the living area of
my house, sipping on something called witches brew that reminds me of red
sangria. I’m ready to get litty titty on magic wine. A girl’s gotta relax
somehow.
After the shock of our mutual love for Transformers wore off, we
decided to have a marathon since I’d fallen asleep in the middle of the one
yesterday. Apparently, she can’t get her own men to watch it more than
once a year, since they don’t believe it’s the best cinematic miracle of all
time—much like my own men. 
So, the guys decided to explore the city together to avoid sitting through
the marathon. 
Losers. The lot of them.
“I just enjoy escaping my own realm and blending in for a few hours,”
she says, wistfulness in her words. “Getting lost in the movies and
pretending I’m just a regular person—it’s refreshing. Maybe that’s why I
enjoy it more on the earth realm than I do on my own.” 
 Shit’s getting too deep. I narrow my eyes at her. “Okay but the big
question is … which movie of the series is the best?” This is going to make
or break you.
She scoffs at me. “Seriously? Without a doubt, the first one. Nothing
could live up to the highway battle scene in it.”
I throw my head back in relief. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you,
Gaia! You didn’t send me a fucking idiot as a trainer!”
Serenity chuckles as she sips on her wine. “The jury’s still out on
whether she sent me an idiot for a trainee though.”
Oh, that’s how it is? I raise my eyebrows at her. “Just because I said you
aren’t an idiot doesn’t mean I like you all of a sudden. Don’t get shit
twisted, Witch Bitch.”
She huffs and turns her attention to the movie, a slight upturn to her lips
that shows she’s amused.
See, funniest person alive! My humor can’t be denied by anyone, even
her uptight ass.
We sit and watch in silence after that. Every time one of our cups runs
low, she mutters two foreign words and refills it, making me slightly jealous
of her powers. I don’t think that’ll be one of my powers as a Fae.
Sitting with her and bonding over the movie let down my walls an inch.
With the fifth cup of wine, my tongue loosens slightly. This drink is far
more potent than the alcohol I’m used to and I have a feeling it’s going to
knock me on my ass soon.
Why don’t you just stop drinking, Lana? Because it tastes too fucking
good.
Glancing over at Serenity, I slur, “Hey, if Gaia gives us elemental men,
why do you only have three and I have five? Aren’t there at least four main
powers?”
Immediately, her face darkens. “I had a fourth to complete the standard
elemental powers. I no longer do. Drop it.”
 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Cue the reverse beeping sound. “Shit, Serenity. I’m
sorry.”
“Drop. It.”
I promptly snap my mouth shut. My mind drifts to the thought of losing
one of my guys and overwhelming sadness fills me. I can’t imagine what
she’s been through, losing someone who owns a piece of your heart and
soul. A lone tear tracks down my cheek and I hurriedly wipe it away,
hoping she didn’t see it. 
Of course, with my luck, that’s not possible.
She gapes at me. “Are you seriously crying for me? Goddess, you’re
such a sappy drunk. I lost Reese the same day I lost my parents. It’s been
forty years and I’ve made as much peace with it as I can. There are
casualties in war, Lana. Remember that during training because, one day, it
could be one of your men on the line in this life.” She unfolds herself from
the couch and stands. “I think it’s time for me to go. I’ll be here at eight
o’clock tomorrow. Be ready.” 
She vanishes from sight without giving me the chance to say goodbye.
Damn my drunk ass.
I definitely do not consider that a successful girl’s night. There’s
nothing to be done about it for now though. 
Getting up from the couch, I continue to sip on my wine, enjoying the
fuzzy feeling in my head as I make my way up to the bathroom.
I’m going to make that tub my bitch.
Checking the cabinets under the sink, I find bath salts and lavender oil
for the water and whoop in delight. I run the tub with hot water and add in
my ingredients, feeling like a witch creating a potion. All I’m missing is a
cauldron, a wooden spoon and a mole on my chin. Would that offend Witch
Bitch?
Smirking, I strip out of my leathers as I wait for the tub to fill. 
 The memory of the wild assortment of Kermit the Frog gifs comes to
my head as I briefly wish I could text my men right now. Butt ass naked, I
start impersonating his dance in the mirror and break out into a fit of
giggles, imagining the guys’ reactions if they were here. 
Gifs are the one good thing about phones. Though we don’t use phones
often, I would randomly send the guys as many Kermit gifs as I could find
to our group chat in the middle of the night. My second favorite Kermit gif
is where he’s sipping on some tea and it says, “But that’s none of my
business.”
Kermit is my soulmate.
Belly laughing because I’m drunk as shit, I continue to impersonate as
many Kermit gifs I can think of until the tub is full. As steam fills the room
and the water rises to the top of the large, white tub, I abandon my antics
and decide to climb in. As my left foot dips into the water, I jerk it back
before telling myself to stop being a little bitch and get into the water. 
I lower myself into the tub and rest my arms up on the edges, leaning
my head back and sighing in contentment. The lavender scent and the hot
water soothe me, sending me into a hazy state of bliss. 
I close my eyes and think of Gaia and our first interaction. I’ve learned
so much since then but there’s still so much I want to ask her. And I miss
Beth. The only time I feel close to her is when I’m with Gaia. 
As all the questions swirl in my mind and I think of Beth, I drift into
sleep.

A hand strokes my cheek as my eyes remain closed. It tickles my skin and

relaxes me. I fall into the touch and decide whoever is doing this is my new
favorite person.
“Hello, my child. You called me.”
 Oh shit! Sober up, Lana! Sober up! You’re talking to a Goddess!
I’m pretty sure I stop breathing altogether for a moment as shock
overrides all bodily functions. Am I hallucinating? I crack my eyes open to
confirm and gasp.
There, on the edge of my tub, sits Gaia in her full, ethereal beauty. She
doesn’t look exactly the same. Instead of cherry blossoms for hair, she now
has jasmine blooms. Her skin is also a few shades darker. The contrast of
the purple flower against her ebony skin has me absolutely awestruck. I feel
a pull to her in my soul. I can’t deny that we truly are connected.
Giving her a bright smile, I try to form a coherent sentence. “Gaia! I
can’t believe you’re here!”
Oh my goodness, I’m in the middle of a bath while speaking to a
Goddess.
I cover up my breasts with a nervous giggle. “I’m so sorry! I would
never purposefully call you and put you in a compromising position like
this.”
A tinkling laugh, like wind chimes in the breeze, follows my apology as
she strokes my cheek once more. “My child, you are born of my soul. There
is nothing that you must hide from me. I accept and love you as you are.”
At her words, I feel radiating warmth in my chest and sense the truth
behind her words. I relax back into the tub, not quite ready to remove my
arms. “How is it that you are here in this realm with me?”
“You are actually in a dream state right now, which allowed me to come
to you. You must have called on me without knowing.”
Deep down, I know I need to apologize to her if I want this interaction
to be better than the first. The fact that I had scoffed at her and blatantly
disrespected her is eating away at me mentally. 
You can fix this, Lana.
I reach out to gently grip her hand in my own and look into her swirling
eyes. “Gaia, I am so deeply sorry for the way I treated you in our first
meeting. I was overcome by grief and rage. It was easy to direct it towards
you before I knew everything and that was wrong of me.”
Overwhelming feelings of love, adoration, and a sense of pride flood
my mind as she smiles at me. “Those are my feelings for you, my child. Let
us move on and prepare you for the future. What were your questions?”
With the weight lifted off of my heart for my previous indiscretions, all
I feel is excitement to truly form a bond with Gaia. She’s the closest thing I
have to a mother now. 
Time for 20 questions, Goddess-edition.
Bubbling with excitement at the opportunity to get some answers, I start
in a rush, “Okay, so my first question is, why are my powers locked away
and the guys don’t seem to have that problem?”
Her serene expression darkens slightly. “You are most likely repressing
your powers due to your previous life. I believe your soul is scared to go on
this journey again. You must find confidence in yourself and your men to
know that you can handle whatever is coming.”
Damn, Witch Bitch was right.
Fuck, that’ll take a lot of self-reflection. I nod with a sigh. “Okay, that
makes sense. Why does Serenity keep referring to my guys as my mates?”
She smiles at me. I feel a tug on the thread of our connection and feel an
overwhelming need to wrap my arms around her. “Do you feel that pull to
me?”
“Yes.”
“That is how you and your men are connected as well. Your soul's call
out to one another. They need one another to become complete. It is what
you may consider a soulmate.”
My mouth drops open in shock. Holy shit. I just stare at her like an idiot
for a full minute while I process that. “So, we were fated to find each other?
Is that how Beth found all of us?”
 “Yes, she felt the connection to all of you, and felt the need to bring you
all together. However, she did not know of the true soul bond.”
“That’s so fucking awesome!” I clasp my hands over my mouth, my
eyes bugging out of my head. You’re not supposed to swear in front of a
Goddess, Lana! 
She grabs my wrists and lowers my hands. “They are just words.
Without cruel intention, they do no harm. Speak freely.” 
She motions for me to carry on so I do. “So, were they in my past life
too?”
“Yes, all five of them have followed you into this life from your
previous. You share a soul bond that allows all of you to be reincarnated as
a group. You would not be able to bear being apart.”
Damn, I officially love them all so hard.
I wonder if Serenity has ever asked Gaia about Reese? Thinking back to
my conversation with her, I hesitantly ask, “Is Reese’s soul lost forever? Or
will they be reincarnated as well?”
She sighs. “Reese’s situation is a precarious one. I am not able to
divulge information on what will happen with his soul. I do not want to tip
the balance on what could happen.”
I sober at her answer. That doesn’t sound promising. “Does everyone
have the ability to reincarnate?”
She shakes her head, making the purple blooms of her hair swish. “No.
In order for me to reincarnate your souls, I had to surrender a fraction of my
power. No one, besides you, must know of this. We cannot let word spread
that I have weakened. It would cause chaos throughout the realms.”
She did that? For us? There’s no way we’re worthy of such a sacrifice.
“Why us?”
“The Fates visited me at your birth in your first life. They prophesied
your first death and warned me of the dire consequences that would follow
your death. I was told of a way to reincarnate you all, though it would
require a high price to pay. If I did not make this sacrifice, the fall of your
realm would start a domino effect and, one by one, the universe would
succumb to darkness and despair. It was an easy decision, my child.”
So not only is my realm counting on me, so is the entire universe. 
Great. No pressure.
“I will not speak of your sacrifice. Your secret is safe with me.”
She leans over and brushes a soft kiss on my forehead as I feel myself
being tugged back into consciousness.
No! I had more questions!
“We will meet again. Train hard, my child. I’m counting on you.”

My lashes flutter as someone rouses me from my dream with Gaia,

brushing their fingers through my hair. I had so many more questions but
unfortunately, someone felt the need to interrupt me. I will flay their ass for
this.
“Can you open your eyes for me, sweetheart?”
At Zedd’s gentle voice, my anger subsides but I keep my eyes closed.
He’ll stop brushing my hair if I open them. I could never be angry with my
sweet mate. His intentions are always pure and selfless so he must have a
good reason for waking me. Now if this had been Ash…
Holy shit, he’s my mate.
Gaia’s explanation of the men being my true soulmates solidifies these
deep attachments I have for each of them. My inability to choose between
them suddenly makes sense.  We really are made for one another.
I open my eyes and take in his tender look, glued to my face, clearly
trying to respect my nakedness. The long strands of hair on top of his head
hang forward into his eyes as he stays leaning over me. His sharp jawline
and hazel eyes suck me in and I get this sense that I need him to breathe.
 “Hi, Zedd baby,” I huskily say, my eyes narrowing on my prey.
He breathes out a sigh of relief. “I was just checking to make sure you
were okay. When I knocked, you didn’t answer. I thought you may have
fallen asleep in the tub. You could have slipped in and drowned, Lana!” His
gaze zeroes in on the empty glass of wine and he looks back at me,
disappointed. “You were drinking as well? Lana, really, that’s so unsaf—”
Feeling an outpouring of love from the revelation that he’s my mate and
his worry for my safety, I surge up to claim his lips with my own. I cradle
his face in my hands and, controlled by a deep, sexual hunger, I stand in the
tub, pulling him to stand with me. Water runs down my body and I chuckle
at his gasp when I stand in front of him, nude. 
My breath fans across his lips as I part from him just enough to speak.
“I need you, Zedd.”
His groan echoes through the large bathroom as he grabs my hips and
lifts me to him. Eagerly wrapping my legs around his hips, I take a fistful of
his brown hair and yank his head back. Alternating between nipping and
licking from his ear down to the hollow of his throat, I revel in his sounds
of pleasure. I grind my hips against his hard length, waves of pleasure
shooting through me as my clit finds the perfect amount of pressure against
him.
Working my way back to his ear, I lick his outer lobe and whisper in a
raspier voice than I knew I possessed, “Put me down. I want to taste you on
my tongue.”
I want to claim my mate in any way that I feel comfortable doing right
now. I’ll work my way up to sex but for now, I can’t wait to experience this
with Zedd. My mate.
“Lana, you don’t have to do this,” he whispers as I slide down his body.
Looking up at him from under my lashes, I smirk devilishly. “Oh, I
know, but I’m ready to mark my territory.”
 His eyes roll back in his head as he groans in pleasure at my words.
Dropping to my knees, I unzip his dark pants as he shrugs off his white t-
shirt. A large bulge presses against his black boxer briefs, demanding to be
released from its confines. Gripping the band of the boxers, I drag them
down painfully slowly, teasing him with my actions. As his length is
exposed, the top of the boxers catches on his thick tip. I grab him with one
hand and pull the boxers the rest of the way down with the other. 
His hands find their way into my hair as I greedily eye the impressive
cock before me. 
I’ve seen enough cocks on porn websites to know that I’m lucky to have
this one.
My tongue instinctively darts out to lick up the precum up on his tip.
Not a drop will be wasted.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Sixteen

OceanofPDF.com
 ZEDD

Holy shit, is this really happening?

Her hot velvet mouth envelopes my tip as her hand wraps around the
base of my cock, applying just the right amount of pressure to draw a hiss
of pleasure from my mouth. I’ve dreamed about this moment countless
times and it’s already exceeding my expectations. I’m not going to last long
like this.
Digging my fingers into her hair, I slowly guide her to take my length
into her mouth, wanting to see how much she can take. The sight of her on
her knees before me, eager to try this with me, almost unravels me on the
spot. She has her eyes closed and softly moans as she sucks on me. The
vibrations from her throat send a shot of pure ecstasy through me.
As she takes in as much of my cock into her throat as she can, she gags
slightly and retreats before trying again. My little vixen is definitely not a
quitter.
Some primal part of me enjoys the way she’s gagging on my length,
making me feel as if I should beat my chest at being big enough to be a
challenge. When I feel myself sliding down into her throat and her nose
meets my pelvis, I almost blow right there. As she continues to deepthroat
me and my balls tighten, I pull back on her hair to prolong this moment.
Less deep throat, more licks while I try to calm down.
 She opens her eyes to look up at me when I pull out of her mouth,
whimpering like I’ve taken her favorite toy away from her.  
I smirk down at her and grip my cock in my hand, lightly tapping it
against her lips. As if I challenged her with my smirk, she grins devilishly
at me, placing her mouth around me once more and tossing my hand away
to reclaim me.
“Fuck, Lana,” I breathe out, closing my eyes at the wave of pleasure
that rolls through me once more. 
Moaning around my cock, she bobs her head faster as she times her
hand to match. 
“I’m going to cum,” I groan, not wanting to take her by surprise. The
last thing I want is to shock her with my cum going down her throat if she
hasn’t thought that far yet.
She opens her eyes up to meet my gaze once more and continues
sucking and pumping while my knees tremble, threatening to give out. My
balls tighten, ready to spill our seed into her greedy mouth. She sucks one
final time and pops her lips off of me, opening wide and sticking her tongue
out as she continues to pump with her hand. 
She looks up at me with her big doe eyes, practically begging me to
give her what she wants. Stars burst behind my eyelids and I come on her
tongue. I watch every drop make its way into her mouth. Her holding my
cum on her tongue, while smirking up at me, causes my dick to twitch and
want to go again.
As I reach for her, the corners of her lips lift seductively and she winks
before pulling her tongue into her mouth and swallowing it all. 
Fuuuck, I love this woman.
“You’re incredible, Lana,” I admit in awe as I pull her to her feet and
smooth her wild hair from where my grip tousled it.
She wags her eyebrows at me. “Tell me something I don’t know, Zedd
baby.”
 Scoffing, I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “What am I going to do
with you, troublemaker?”
Batting her eyes at me again, she pouts. “Keep me?”
Chuckling at her attempt to seem innocent, I boop her on the nose. “I’ll
keep you for forever and a day, my love.”
She smiles lovingly and leans against me as I wrap my arms around her,
loving the way her head tucks perfectly under my chin as I rest it on her. I
won’t let anything take this woman from me.
“I want you to cum on my tongue now. It’s only fair,” I state in a
confident manner that shocks me as it slips out of my mouth.
A small shiver goes through her as she pulls back to look up at me with
a soft smile on her face. “No. Tonight was for you.”
 Leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead, I grab a purple towel from
the stand next to us simultaneously, pulling back from her to unravel it.
Wrapping it and securing it around her, I bend down and quickly put my
boxers back on. Picking her up bridal-style, I tuck her against me and head
out of the bathroom so she can find some clothes.
She helps me by opening the door and I freeze in my steps at the rest of
the guys standing there, leaning against various spots near the wall. Zero
shame. 
Motherfuckers. Does anyone know what privacy means?
“Hi, guys!” Lana chirps still slightly buzzed I’m assuming, and waves at
them. She was clearly oblivious to their eavesdropping and doesn’t care one
bit. 
I glare at the four of them. 
Leo raises his hands in defense. “You can’t blame us. We waited out
here after you went in to check on her. We couldn’t leave until we knew for
sure. Then, we heard … uh … noises and it was too tempting to stay and
see how that played out.”
So, no, they don’t know what privacy means.
 A small kernel of satisfaction flares in me, knowing I’m the first one
Lana trusted to take this step with.
Lana waves a hand in the air dismissively. “Boys, boys, we need to have
a chat. Let me get dressed and then I’ll let you guys in.”
Thankfully, she doesn’t seem embarrassed at being caught by them or I
might have suffocated them with my new powers. 
I walk into the bedroom and place her on her feet. Tucking her hair
behind her ears, I whisper, “Next time, it’s my turn to explore you,
sweetheart.”
She winks at me and when I turn, she jumps on her opportunity and
smacks my ass, yelling, “Go team!”
Rolling my eyes and smiling at her playful antics and slightly confused,
I retreat from the room and close the door behind me. As I stand in the
hallway with the guys, I lean against the wall with a smirk, knowing they’re
dying to know the details.
Deciding I’m not going to give them any, I amuse myself by fielding
their questions with short responses.
“Did she suck you off?”
“Maybe.”
“Was it incredible?”
“Perhaps.”
“Was she fully naked?”
“Might have been.”
Closing my eyes and remembering the tantalizing view of her, I just
smile as they beg for information. A gentleman doesn’t let a woman
swallow and tell.
A thump to my chest makes my eyes fly open. Luke grumbles,
“Seriously dude? You’re going to leave us hanging like that? What
happened to bros before ho—” A sharp smack to the back of his head by
Ash cuts him off. “You know what I meant! What happened to bro code?”
 “You know that’s not going to work on me.” I pat him on the shoulder.
“Good try though, bud.” 
The bedroom door flies open and Lana motions us in. “Come in, kind
sirs.”
We all take our seats where we had yesterday for the group talk.
Creatures of habit, I suppose.
This time, however, Lana remains standing and begins pacing, as if
unsure how to begin. After anxiously waiting in silence for a minute, she
halts her walking and clasps her hands in front of her. “There’s no way to
pussy around this so I’m just going to throw it out there.” She pauses and
takes a deep breath. “So, when Zedd pulled me out of my little nap in the
tub, he actually pulled me out of a conversation with Gaia.” Oh, my bad.
“In this dream, I asked her why Serenity referred to you guys as my mates
because I didn’t quite know what that meant.”
“I thought you were just going to throw it out there, Lana,” Ash
interrupts her small tangent.
Lana throws him a glare. “Fine. I’ll spit it out. She said you guys are my
legit soulmates.”
Hmm, that actually makes sense with the reincarnation and our draw to
be with her.
Hale pipes up with the same sentiment. “I’m not surprised at all by that.
Why else would we all be reincarnated together and have the same draw to
you, Lana?”
She whirls on her feet to face him with an arched eyebrow. “Uh, maybe
because I’m fucking awesome?”
Oh Goddess, don’t get her started. Wanting to placate her, I say, “Lana,
what I think he means is what are the odds that we would all have the same
draw to you and be willing to share you with each other. That isn’t normal.
We’re territorial over you with everyone else, except each other.”
 She beams up at me, as if she enjoys the thought of us being territorial
of her.
Crisis averted. You’re welcome, Hale.
“What does it mean, to be soulmates?” Luke asks as he sits against the
headboard next to Leo, cross-legged.
She shrugs her shoulders. “Honestly, all I know is that our souls were
destined to find each other and that Beth felt the pull to us as well, bringing
us together.”
My heart stings with the pang of grief as Luke and Leo both nod back,
accepting the answer given to them.
Leo grins at her. “That means you’re stuck with us, my Queen.” 
She gapes at them, open-mouthed, before placing the back of her hand
on her forehead and falling to her knees as the twins have done many times.
“Oh, the horror!”
We really are meant to fit together. Like puzzle pieces.
She completes what each of us needs and I know we would all lay our
lives down for her.
In a heartbeat.

Leo

She really is meant to be our Queen.

The fire that burns deep in my soul for her makes complete sense all of
a sudden. She isn’t just some woman that I’m pining over, desperate to love
and be loved by. She might drive me insane sometimes but she also brings a
happiness and lightness to me that I know I need to fight my internal
demons.
She’s my mate.
 Seeing her dramatics makes me want to play with her and I’m not one
to hold back from indulging. I lunge off the bed and swiftly tackle her to the
ground, making her gasp aloud, trapping her beneath me. My large frame
covers her and I lower my pelvis to hers, leaning in close with my forearms
on either side of her pretty little head. Her cheeks flush a light pink and she
stares at me with narrowed, suspicious eyes, clearly caught off guard but
not wanting to appear intimidated.
Whispering against the shell of her ear, I say, “The horror? Would you
rather be stuck with other men as mates?”
Lifting my head to see her reaction, I see her arched brow and the
defiance in her gaze. “And if I said yes?”
Fire burns in her eyes, challenging me, and I feel my own fire rising to
meet it. As my body heats up, I feel an overwhelming need to prove to her
how powerful I would be at her side and that she doesn’t need anyone to
take my place.
Flames burst up around us, forming a barrier around our position on the
floor, licking our skin but causing no damage. I know Lana holds the power
to wield fire as well and I want to pull it out of her so we can play.
“Leo!” Lana gasps, her eyes bugging out of her head.
Be careful playing with fire, Lana. You don’t want to get burned.
My nerve endings tingle with the use of magic as I zone out and let my
fire do as it wishes. In the distance, I feel I hear someone calling out to me
but nothing matters other than my mate beneath me, her copper hair
glowing under the light of my flames.
I stare deep into her eyes, losing all semblance of control over my urges
and lean down to claim her soft lips. Before they can touch, she smacks my
cheek.
What the fuck?
Her slap crashes me back into reality and the flames die down instantly.
Fuck, what was that trance? It’s like the power was whispering seductively
to my mind.
A tight grip on my chin draws me back down to looking at Lana, who
looks both scared and disappointed. “Leo, you need to be careful with your
emotions and intentions now that we have powers. I know that’s rich
coming from me of all people but Serenity told me we’re dangerous in the
sense that we merely need a thought to use our powers. We don’t need
incantations or magical artifacts to wield them.”
My gaze goes to the dark scorch marks burned into the perimeter
surrounding our bodies.
Shit. I could have hurt one of the guys or burned down the house.
Climbing to my feet and pulling Lana with me, I struggle to meet the
guys’ eyes, who all look varying shades of wary of me. I force myself to
look at them and take responsibility. “Guys, I’m so sorry. I’ll make sure I’m
more aware of my powers creeping up in the future. I forgot I even had
them before the flames burst up and I fell into a daze. I keep forgetting I’m
not a regular human anymore.”
A loud whoop from my lounging brother lifts my spirits slightly. “Bro,
that was so cool! I tried to summon water to put them out but couldn’t
manage anything more than a puddle in my hands.”
Indeed, a puddle of water had soaked into the bed in front of him,
showing that it had slipped through his hands. 
“Soon enough, that will be a puddle from Lana.” He throws a saucy
wink at her.
Hale’s deep voice cuts through Luke’s excitement. “This is not a joke.
Lana is right. We need to be vigilant and mindful from here on. We have
enough on our plate right now—the last thing we need is for one of us to be
hurt or for us all to become homeless again.”
Leave it to Hale to make me feel like an admonished child.
A warm embrace at my side eases the tension in my body as I tuck Lana
under my arm, appreciating her silent support. I’ll make sure this doesn’t
happen again.
Ash and Zedd remain quiet, which isn’t out of character, but I had at
least expected a look of disappointment at my loss of control. 
How odd.
“So, none of you seemed surprised at the soulmate revelation,” Lana
pipes up, thankfully drawing the conversation away from my brief fuckup.
Ash chuckles. “Honestly, Lana, I think you’re the one that is the most
surprised—or the only one who’s surprised.” 
She huffs, making me think she was hoping for a bigger reaction from
all of us. “Well, yeah! It’s kind of a big fucking deal knowing we’re all
stuck together for the rest of our lives and that it was fate!”
My feisty little thing.
“Does this mean I can call you my mate now?” Zedd asks. “Girlfriend
just seems so … blasé in light of this new information.” 
She waves her hand at him. “I’ll allow it.”
I grin at her. “Lana, are you imitating that gif with the guy wearing that
sombrero at a desk?”
She smirks. “Maaaybe.”
I facepalm. 
Her obsession with gifs is the only reason any of us ever checked our
phones growing up. She thought she was so funny sending mass gifs in the
middle of the night to disturb our sleep but she always forgot the convenient
do not disturb feature of phones. 
She moves out from my embrace and stands in the middle of the group.
“Guys, I think I mastered this gif while practicing in front of the bathroom
mirror today while I was drunk.” She proceeds to wave her arms around
while bending her knees and lowering herself to the ground. 
Fucking hell, she’s imitating Kermit the frog now.
“You were drunk and fell asleep in a fucking bath tub?” 
Oh shit, angry Ash.
 She rolls her eyes. “I was fine. I had it under control, tough guy. And
Zedd already gave me a lecture.”
Zedd pipes up, “Did not. She’s deflecting.” When she glares at him, he
merely shrugs and moves on. “Did you have a good night with Serenity?”
She clasps her hands together, cringing at the question. “Thank you for
asking Zedd but I may have blown up the peace treaty when I asked about
her dead mate. It was an accident, honestly.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
And here I thought things were finally looking up for the two of them. 
“Don’t give me those looks!” she says, indignant. “It started with an
innocent question about how I have five guys with powers and how she has
three. I figured four was typical with the whole earth, wind, fire, air combo.
She told me she had a fourth and that he died the same day as her parents.”
She drops her head into her hands and mumbles, “I feel like such a dick.”
Genuine remorse? From Lana? Who is this woman in front of me?
Hale walks up to her and hugs her to him. “You couldn’t have known,
Little One. She can’t hold that against you. Did you apologize?”
Her head bobs up and down against his chest.
He strokes the back of her head. “Well then, you did what you could.
It’s up to her to move on and understand you didn’t have ill intentions.”
“Lana, did you eat dinner while we were out or do you want me to fix
you something really quick?” Zedd asks, already moving towards her.
A muffled response sounds against Hale’s chest. “No, I didn’t and yes, I
would, thank you.”
He clasps her by the hand and leads her downstairs as she trails after
him, her head hanging like a wounded puppy. While he’s preparing her a
quick dinner, we all take turns showering and getting ready for bed. 
As I stand in the shower, I can’t help but recall how Lana made Zedd
groan in this room earlier with her sinful-as-hell lips. She definitely has dick
sucking lips.
 Imagining myself in his position, I fist my cock and groan at the mental
picture. As the scene continues, it changes to her sucking my cock while
simultaneously jacking off Luke, alternating between us.
Picking up the speed with my hand, I picture Lana on her hands and
knees while Luke fucks her from behind and she gags on my cock every
time he thrusts. Imagining her cry of release, I allow myself to cum,
knowing that that exact scene will happen in our future.
We’ll share her and she’ll like it.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Seventeen

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

The night before had ended in a calm manner with me eating a makeshift
taco salad Zedd had whipped up. Luckily, our fridge and pantry magically
fill up with whatever items we need because nothing else sounded
appetizing to me. 
Too bad it can’t magically summon Taco Bell from the earth realm.
After satisfying my hunger, I had quickly passed out in bed and barely
stirred when the rest of my guys made their way into our puppy pile to
sleep. Hale’s cedarwood scent is the only way I know who held me all
night. We slept peacefully in each other's embrace until the morning came
with a not-so-fun surprise.
Sirens blare and echo in our house, ripping me out of my tantalizing,
smutty dream of Hale and Ash doing delicious things to my body.
Hale shoots up, taking me with him. “Everyone up! Clear the house!
Lana, stay here.”
At Hale’s orders, they clear the room to sweep the house and for once, I
don’t argue with him. It’s way too fucking early for this. If there’s a fire,
they can carry me out.
It’s still dark in the room and I groan at the nonstop wailing of the
sirens, tugging the pillow out from under me and placing it over my ears to
dull the noise. 
 I’m busy protecting my ears and my sleep as I try to fall back into
slumber with my eyes closed when ice-cold water drenches me from head
to toe. I screech and flail in my bed, trying to get away from the source,
doing my best imitation of what I assume a drowning rat looks like.
I roll and fall on the floor, spluttering before I manage to orient myself
enough to stand. Spinning around with my fists up and ready to fight
whatever fucker did that, I find Serenity lounging in the beige chaise next to
the window, looking bemused at my current state.
The only small blessing is that the sirens have stopped, though my ears
are still ringing.
I scowl at her. “Did you just fucking dump water on me?”
Cocking a single eyebrow at me, she replies, “What if I did?”
Rage brews deep within my core at her disregard for my personal
boundaries and the harassment. And to think that I’ve been making an effort
with this woman to move on from our rocky start. I know that I hit a sore
spot last night but it isn’t as if I had gone into that conversation wanting to
hurt her. Cut me a fucking break.
I stand straighter and leer at her. “If you did, I’d tell you to kindly pull
the steel rod that’s residing in your asshole, out.” 
She cocks her head and gives me a once-over, as if sizing me up. “Well,
Anal, I can assure you the only thing that goes up my asshole is one of my
mate’s cocks. I suppose it could be referred to as a steel rod though.”
I clap my hands and let loose a sharp bark of laughter. “Good for you
sweetheart. Do you want a cookie?”
I’m feeling vicious this morning from her creating chaos for no good
reason.
Crossing her legs at the ankle, she huffs. “Someone’s not a morning
person. For the record, all of this was to try to startle your powers out of
you so you didn’t think so hard on it and just reacted.” Okay, maybe this
whole plan wasn’t just for her enjoyment—but she definitely got a thrill
from it. “However, I severely underestimated how lazy you’d be in the
morning so I may need to think of an alternate plan.”
I’m not fucking lazy—I just need coffee to function. Sue me.
At that moment, all of my men come filing back into the room as Hale
says, “The house is clear. We aren’t sure wha—” He cuts himself off as he
takes in Serenity, resting in the chaise without a care in the world. Rolling
his eyes, he asks, “Your doing, I suppose?”
Serenity stands and bows at the waist. “Yes. A spectacular performance,
wasn’t it? However, Anal here failed to react in the way I needed so I will
have to find a better scare tactic.” Kick rocks, Witch Bitch. “You have one
hour to eat breakfast and change into your training clothes. Men, you’ll find
your new leathers in your drawers. Lana, wear the same outfit from
yesterday. It’s been magically spelled to clean itself every night and is ready
for reuse.”
That’s fucking nifty. I hate doing laundry.
As per usual, she doesn’t wait for a response and vanishes from sight,
leaving us to do as she bids.
Still feeling a fog of sleepiness clouding my mind, I resist the urge to
faceplant on the bed and instead head downstairs to start the coffee make as
the guys go to change. After filling the machine with the coffee grounds and
water, I watch in greedy anticipation as the pot fills.
I’m not sure what my birthstone is, but it’s highly likely that it’s a coffee
bean.
Pouring a cup once it’s done brewing, I hold the hot mug between my
hands and inhale the steam, not realizing someone approached behind me.
A hand falls on top of my shoulder, causing me to jump and react without
thinking, cupping the coffee to my chest to keep it out of the clutches of
evil. I fall into a crouch with my eyes narrowed, hissing like Smeagol from
Lord of the Rings. “My precioussss. Mine!” 
 “Seriously, Lana?” Ash says, rubbing a tired hand over his face. “Move
so I can get my own cup. I don’t want yours.” 
Keeping a suspicious eye on him, I refuse to rise from my crouch until
he’s far enough away. When he fully comes into view, I almost drop my
coffee in shock as his round ass graces my vision with leather pants molded
like a second skin to it. His top is a thick leather that falls to just above his
ass and has cut-off sleeves, showing off his rounded shoulders and bulging
biceps.
After drooling for a moment and imagining taking a bite out of him like
a cake, I shake myself out of my stupor and head upstairs to grab my own
leathers for training, ready to start the very productive day that will consist
almost entirely of ogling my men. 
Upon arriving in the bedroom, I find all of the guys in a similar outfit
and I swear I have died and gone to heaven. My life is now complete.
“I’ll cut a bitch if she looks at any of you for too long,” escapes my
mouth before I realize I need to keep some thoughts to myself.
The twins double over in laughter, while Zedd and Hale merely chuckle
at me, clearly not believing that I’ll follow through on that. Probably better
they don’t know the full extent of my crazy yet.
Once ready, we all head downstairs to drink our coffee and eat our
weight in bacon and eggs. It seems our hunger levels have increased tenfold
since unlocking our Fae side, the men even more so since they tapped into
their powers yesterday. Poor Zedd. He’ll spend the rest of his almost-
immortal life slaving over the stove.
I’m suck my fingers clean as I watch Ash tracing my movements with
his eyes like a hawk. Serenity pops up directly next to me, not scaring me
one bit, much to her displeasure if her scowl is any indication. You’ll have
to find another trick, sweetie. 
She harrumphs and turns away from me, holding her bare arms out for
us. “Alright, you guys know the drill from traveling with Lilli. Grab on.” 
 When we comply, she zaps us to a new location. I glance around and
assume we’re somewhere in the training complex, judging by the doom-
and-gloom black walls. As I puzzle over the two separate doors in front of
us, Serenity’s men pop up behind her and drop kisses onto her head.
They’re always so quiet, I can’t even imagine them talking. I’ll have to
ask the guys how their night out on the town with them went. Couldn’t have
gone worse than my girls night had.
Her pale, raven-haired giant steps towards the door on the right and
turns his dark blue-eyed gaze to my men. “You know how this works, boys.
Come on. Lana will be training with Serenity in a separate room.”
Ugh, there goes all of my man-candy inspiration for the day. How am I
supposed to work in such dire conditions? 
I smirk at Luke’s frown at being called a boy as they follow after
Serenity’s mates like lost ducklings.
Serenity heads towards the door on the left and waves her hand at me
like a dog. “Come, Lana.”
Bite me, bitch.
Begrudgingly, I follow her into the room, surprised to find that it has a
sole light attached to the ceiling and that the walls are completely made up
of mirrors. It’s extremely disorienting to see Serenity and myself in so many
different angles in such low lighting.
“This is our room used for self-reflection. Witches often struggle to find
their powers, just as you are. To assist in the process, we created a
soundproof room that forces you to see yourself from all angles. You have
nowhere to hide from yourself, so to speak, and you become more in tune
with your inner being.” She lowers herself to the ground in the middle of
the room. “Normally, I’d leave you alone here. However, I’m going to ask
you a series of questions to try to probe you into finding where the problem
lies in connecting with your powers as you look at yourself in the mirror.”
Great, Witch Bitch is now my psychologist. Lucky me.
 With great reluctance, I lower myself and find us sitting in a similar
position as yesterday. I mentally prepare myself for the inevitable
discomfort that’s coming and set aside my anger from this morning or we’ll
never make any progress. She’s lucky I’ve turned over a new leaf and
haven’t pranked her back yet.
I lean back on my hands and nod at her. “Alright, let’s start.” 
Without wasting a second, she fires off questions and scenarios that
truly make me wonder if this is a normal process.
“Do you think you’ll be able to save your realm from further
devastation?”
“Uh … right now? No. In the future, I hope so.”
“Do you think you’ll be a leader that your kingdom will respect and
declare loyalty to?”
“Honestly, I haven’t really thought about being the leader of anyone yet.
I’ve just focused on the current situation at hand, accessing my powers.”
“Have you considered the possibility that you, your men, and your
kingdom could all fall into irreversible desolation if you don’t take this
seriously?”
I’m feeling quite judged right now. Didn’t she just tell me yesterday that
I’m the right fit for this job?
“Yes, I have. I’m not a heartless bitch.”
She steamrolls past my brewing anger. “Do you believe that you are
deserving of this role and the powers bestowed upon you?”
My brain screeches to a halt and I consider the complexity of the
question. I know I tend to be rash and emotional when angered but I’m also
fiercely protective of those I love. Will I be able to calm down and
rationalize decisions that need to be made as a ruler? Time will tell.
I shrug. “I think I can grow into the person who is deserving of both.”
As she mulls over my answer, I sit up straight and wait for more of her
invasive questions. What a fucking blast this is.
 Suddenly, she leans forward and grasps one of my hands in hers,
looking at me like she’s confused. “Have you had a traumatic event happen
in this life that makes you feel unworthy? I know your previous one did but
I think there’s more to your power block than that. This is the only question
you’ve hesitated to answer and we need to dive deeper.”
No fucking way am I about to spill my deepest, darkest secrets of being
molested or seeing the woman I considered my mother die before my very
eyes. Not to the woman who cut me off the second I accidentally inquired
about her dead mate the night before. I have no intention of divulging to
someone who can’t do the same without throwing a fit. 
She’s taking way too much pleasure in her stunt this morning for me to
believe it was purely with the intention of trying to shock my powers into
responding.
Not today, Witch Bitch.
Choosing my words carefully, I extract my hand from her grasp. “I’d
assume most people have experienced a traumatic event in their lives by my
age. The earth realm is starting to fall into shambles, if you haven’t
noticed.” 
Her erratic mood swings—from being a bitch to acting like we could be
friends—are giving me whiplash and I’m not going to entertain this ploy of
hers.
She falls into silence as she considers me. Ignoring those unnerving
eyes of hers, I look around the room, wondering how my men are doing
with their training. They made so much progress yesterday that I’m sure
they’ll leave me even further in the dust today. It’s a sobering thought
because we keep getting told I need to hurry and figure this shit out. Time is
running out.  
She sighs and hangs her head. When she looks back up at me, it’s with a
determined glint in her eyes. “I know it’s a lot to ask you these questions,
since we haven’t yet developed the trust required to be open between us.
However, if you want to take this training seriously, I’m going to need you
to put a little faith in the fact that Gaia chose me as your trainer for a
reason. I feel like we can truly make progress today, if you allow yourself to
open up to me.”
Can we?
I’m already struggling with the thought of being behind the men on
using our powers and now the added guilt trip of her suggesting I’m not
trusting Gaia—she’s pushing me into a more vulnerable mindset. I can’t fail
because of my pride.
Groaning, I give in. “Fine.” I look into her eyes for a moment before
dropping my gaze to the ground. I twiddle with my fingers nervously, trying
to find the words to tell her everything that needs to be said. As I begin
recounting my memories of being sexually assaulted by Rafael and how it
haunts my dreams to this day, sorrow twists her face but she doesn’t say a
word. She sits quietly and listens without interrupting, allowing me to take
the time I need. 
When I move onto finding Beth in Hale’s lap, dying and drowning, I
break down mentally. I can’t bear to say it out loud but I know the words
need to come.
I miss you, Beth. I promise I’m trying to make you proud.
Salty tears track down my face and I don’t bother wiping them because
there’s no way I can keep up with them.  “Her soul had called out as her
family passed into the afterlife. Beth had a connection to nature and, in turn,
to Gaia, who felt her soul and saved her to be our foster mother.” I lift my
head to look at Serenity through my blurry, tear-filled eyes. “My soul has
felt tainted ever since the molestation. I feel as if I’m damaged goods and
not deserving of all Gaia has done for me.” I don’t mention how Gaia also
sacrificed a piece of herself to give me another chance at life. “How am I
supposed to evolve into some Super-Fae who saves the realm when I
constantly question why I was chosen? What do I bring to the table besides
immature outbursts and sarcasm?”
Fuck, I hadn’t even realized I doubted myself so much. I guess that’s
therapy for ya.
I don’t want Serenity’s pity or advice because I know these are issues I
need to work through myself. However, I can’t deny that giving voice to my
doubts and fears has lifted a weight off of me.
Much to my relief, she doesn’t try to dwell on everything that I’ve
shared.
She looks hesitant to speak but takes a deep breath and goes ahead. “I
have to admit something to you. This is tough for me to speak of but I owe
you an explanation for my behavior since meeting you.”
I scrunch up my face and hedge, “Okay…”
I have a bad feeling about this.
“Your parents from your previous life and my parents had been friends,
visiting each other’s realms often. They had an alliance between them and
felt a kinship, knowing their daughters would be raised to be queens with
the gifts of a Goddess bestowed on them.
“From the various trips to your realm, I saw you grow from a child into
the queen you became in your past life. We had never been close because I
honestly saw you as a bratty, naïve, spoiled little girl who refused to grow
up.”
That explains her attitude towards me in this life.
Pausing in her speech, she stares intently into my eyes before looking
away. “They died in your battle. The battle that occurred forty years ago
claimed both my parents and Reese’s life. It was the same battle in which
you and your men passed away. Reese had been a part of my parent’s royal
guard and had accompanied them to your realm.”
My mind blanks as I stare open-mouthed at her, not knowing what to
say.
 Bitterness bleeds into her voice. “Your naivety in your previous life led
to the destruction of all those you loved and those I loved as well. You were
not powerful enough to take on the darkness but claimed to be ready for
war. I see similar traits in you now and it disgusts me to think of history
repeating itself. I cannot lose anyone else.”
Tears prick my eyes as I sit in frozen shock as she continues in a rush,
“This is all that Gaia has allowed me to share with you. I cannot divulge
anything else. You must piece together the rest when you get to your realm
and your memories are returned.”
I was responsible for my mates’ deaths? For her mate and parents’
deaths?
Suddenly, her instant dislike of me makes perfect sense. I can’t even
blame her. Of course she’d hate me if that’s what I was responsible for in
my past life. She has every right. If it had been me, I would have done far
worse than just sass the person responsible for my family’s death. And
doesn’t that say something? 
She’s the kind of leader I must aspire to be, for everyone’s sake.
Taking a moment to reflect on how I’ve acted so far since meeting
Serenity, I know she’s right. I’m repeating the same vicious cycle of naivety
and stubbornness in this life. Course correction is desperately needed. I
don’t want more blood on my hands.
I will train and become the leader my realm needs. I will not fail anyone
this time. Not again.
Goosebumps break out across my skin as I feel the resolve settle into
my soul. Leaning forward and placing my hand on her knee, I look deep
into her eyes and speak to the broken pieces of her soul. “I know an
apology can’t even come close after everything you have lost because of
me. And I know I can’t bring them back. But I can promise you that I will
give my life before allowing us to lose anyone else.”
 Her anger dissipates as my words strike a chord in her heart, replaced
by determination. She nods her head as if coming to a decision. “We’ve got
a lot of work to do.” She places her hand on top of mine and at the touch of
our skin, she gasps. “Lana! I can feel your power trickling through you!”
Is that what that warmth spreading through my chest is? I had mistaken
it for overwhelming feelings and the heat the leather produced against my
skin. 
Going into the meditative state she had guided me to yesterday, I open
my mind’s eye and find a teal thread of energy dispersing from my soul,
slowly seeping into my being. As I keep my eyes shut to focus, a wide
smile breaks out across my face and Serenity gives my hand a squeeze of
encouragement.
“It’s a small fraction of your power but it is definitely a starting point.”
She flips my hand over and lifts it slightly. “Can you try to picture your
energy forming in the palm of your hand?”
Scrunching my brow, I try to imagine the clear picture in my head, a
swirling orb similar to the ones I had seen in my men’s hands yesterday,
except with my color being teal.
A light tickle in my palm causes me to open my eyes and I squeal in
delight at the evidence of my success in my hand.
It’s go time, bitches.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Eighteen

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

The rest of our day is spent with me practicing connecting to my power as

quickly as I can without focusing too hard. Serenity wants to make calling
on my powers as instinctual as possible.
I’m dripping in sweat with the concentration it’s taken and running on
fumes by the end. Coffee, please, anyone. I’ll give whoever a blow job.
Serenity claps once. “That’s great progress for today. You can call it to
you now without needing to close your eyes. We definitely don’t want you
going into a battle with your eyes closed, now, do we?”
Cheeky little shit.
I can’t even muster a smile or retort back—that’s how depleted I am.
Other than the progression in terms of powers, the tension between
Serenity and I has dissipated through the course of the day. She’s been in
full trainer mode, pushing me past my limits when I thought I couldn’t call
the energy to me anymore. Like she trusts me more. Although she’s referred
to me as Anal a few times, it feels more like an endearment than an insult. 
Never thought I’d see the day.
She towers over me and motions at me at my prone body with her hand.
“Alright, you just continue to lay on the floor like a dead fish and I’ll go
gather our men, your highness.”
 I groan and flip her the bird before dropping my arm and enjoying the
cool feeling of the wood floor against my exposed skin. 
I deserve an orgasm for how hard I worked today. Then I almost burst
into tears because I think I’m too tired for an orgasm.
The door opens again as someone enters, but I refuse to raise my head
or open my eyes. I’m hoping one of my lovely mates will take pity on me
and carry me. 
Play dead.
“You look like roadkill, Lana,” Ash drawls, making me open my eyes to
narrow slits. 
Well shit, I guess I play dead too well.
“Well you look like…” I trail off, taking in his appearance to try to find
an insult but instead feel the heat in my belly ignite at my inspection. His
dark, wavy hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, his sharp jawline on full
display, as sweat trails down his neck, turning me on in an odd way. “...a
snack, okay? You look fucking scrumptious,” I end lamely.
A deep rumble comes from his chest as he scoops me into his arms and
carries me out to the rest of the group. The twins are holding their leather
tops in their hands and talking, clearly enjoying being shirtless like they did
back home. 
Back home … I suppose we don’t have that anymore. I wave that
gloomy as shit thought away, instead choosing to rejoice in the possibility
that I may not be too tired for an orgasm.
Zedd and Hale are chatting with Serenity’s mates and I look around to
find her. Luke notices. “What are you looking for, babe?”
Babe? Cue the vagina waterworks. It’s starting to feel like I’m a
waterpark open for business, twenty-four hours.
“Serenity. Where’d she go?”
On cue, she appears next to us with a scary grin on her face and an evil
glint to her eyes. This doesn’t bode well for me.
 Narrowing my eyes, I ask, “What did you do?”
Feigning innocence, she says, “Only something that you’ll thank me for
later, Anal. Hey, Derrick, can you portal them home really quick? I need to
go meet up with Lilli for dinner and I’m running late already. She’s going to
kill me.”
Her lumberjack mate—as I have knighted him—ambles over to us
without so much as a word and hold his arms out. Ash sets me down and we
all lay a hand on his arms.
Why won’t they just let us walk to and from the house? Do they not trust
us with the location of the training grounds?
We appear in our living room and Derrick immediately vanishes as soon
as we step away from him. Upon arrival, I see a large glass pitcher, full of
what looks like the Witch's Brew we were drinking last night, surrounded
by white tealight candles. A trail of light pink rose petals lead up the stairs.
Wow. I absolutely did not expect this from you, Serenity.
It’s not often that I’m rendered speechless but alas, here we are. Feeling
like I’m living out some type of fantasy, my feet stay glued to the ground as
I take in the beautiful scene. 
“Well damn,” Leo quipped from behind me.
“A scene fit for a queen,” Leo added.
Hale announces he’s going to shower as Zedd heads into the kitchen to
start on dinner.
A swat to my left ass cheek makes me yelp out loud as I spin to find the
perpetrator but as I spin to my left, another swat lands on my right cheek
this time. The light sting of the swat makes an unexpected desire blossom
within me.
Who the fuck?
Both of the twins stand there with their hands clasped in front of them,
Cheshire cat grins stretching their plump lips. I stare at them between
narrowed eyes as Leo whistles a low tune, glancing around, while Luke
twiddles his thumbs together and stares at them like they’re the most
fascinating thing he’s ever encountered.
I cross my arms over my chest and sass them. “I’m going to assume you
were the ones to swat my ass, unless I suddenly have a ghost stalker who
can materialize his hands?”
Leo stops whistling as he smirks devilishly at me, bringing his dimples
out for my viewing pleasure. “What if we did?”
I might say I liked it.
Luke follows up his twin’s question. “What would you do about it?”
Ask you to do it again?
My cheeks flush at my inner monologue as I imagine them all sorts of
naughty things to me and enjoying it. A warm and calloused hand falls on
my shoulder, pulling me back and into a muscular chest, as an arm wraps
around my waist.
Peppermint.
Ash.
His breath tickles the shell of my ear as he speaks, sending shivers
through me. “If anyone is going to spank our girl’s ass and turn it a shade
matching those pink rose petals, it’s going to be me. I’ve dreamed about
that moment for way too fucking long,” he bites out.
Oh, my fuck.
While his territorial statement instantly makes me wet and ready, I’m
slightly confused as to where this side of him is coming from. I thought we
were all on the same page that we’re all equals and that they can’t just call
“dibs” on me.
The twins clearly share my confusion as perplexed looks cross their
faces and their eyebrows pinch together. 
Slowly turning around in his grip, I let my chest brush against him, my
nipples pert, as I peer up at him to try to get a read on his emotions. He’s
preoccupied with staring down the twins and doesn’t spare me even a
fleeting glance, though his grip on me tightens.
Is this some sort of pissing show to establish a pecking order? Wait, is
that just for wolves and shit?
If our dynamic is going to be compared to a pack, I’d most definitely be
the fucking alpha. Head bitch in charge? More like head alpha in charge?
It has a nice ring to it. Time to piss on his leg.
Clearing my throat, I tap my finger on his chest. The brute finally
glances down at me and his face softens. “Yes, baby?”
Fuck me. Stay strong, Lana.
I cock an eyebrow at him and purse my lips in defiance. “What if I
wanted the twins to turn my ass pink?”
My question is followed by his grip turning somewhat painful as his
loving gaze turns into a menacing glare. Where is this coming from? 
Not allowing him to intimidate me, I continue, “You don’t have the
right to tell us what we can and can’t do just because that is something that
you want to do. Sharing is caring. Ever heard of that phrase?”
Perhaps taunting him isn’t the best method to get through to him if he’s
already riled up but I just can’t help myself with him. Our fight for
dominance is not new. It’s been an ongoing battle for multiple years. You’d
think that Hale would be the clear alpha as he led our group with a clear
head and stern hand. Nope.
Why is it always us, Ash? What is it about you that makes my hackles
rise in defiance when you challenge me?
Secretly, I fucking love the way he won’t just let me take control like
the others do. I love the way he calls me out on my bullshit and ribs me
constantly.
A heat flushes through my body at the intensity of my emotions and
Ash almost immediately winces, dropping his arm from me as if in pain.
 “If you didn’t want me to touch you, you could have just told me to
back off instead of burning me with your powers. Thanks a lot,” he clips out
before turning around and sulking into the living room.
Burn him? What the hell?
A tentative touch trails down my arm, adding to the fire I feel within. It
feels like home but also makes the playful, sensual side of me rear its head.
“Lana. Did you unlock your powers today?” Leo asks, somewhat
concerned.
I swivel around and beam at him. “Mhm! Sure fucking did! Well, it was
just a trickle and I could only form the orb in my hand for a few seconds
before it disappeared.”
“My Queen, I think you’re using your powers unknowingly right now.
Your skin is extremely hot but it isn’t burning me due to my fire affinity.
Let’s get you upstairs and into a cold shower. Hopefully Hale is finishing
up,” he ends, herding me upstairs as his words sink in.
Casting one last glance at Ash, sprawled out on the sectional, makes the
guilt eat away at my stomach. He looks so broken right now.
I’m such a fucking hypocrite for not being conscious of my new powers,
right after I gave Leo a hard time for his flaring up.
As we reach the top of the stairs, I hang my head. “Leo … fuck, I’m
sorry. I’m not even taking my own advice. I let my emotions overpower
me.”
Get it together. Be the leader they need.
An icy chill spreads up my arm as Luke strokes his fingers over the
back of it.  “Shhh, just relax. I’ll try to cool you down until we can get you
in the shower.” 
Goosebumps break out against my arm where he’s using his power. For
some reason, the heat of my body against the frigidity of his power makes a
thrill rush through me. Why does this juxtaposition feel so damn good?
 The bathroom door opens and Hale emerges with a towel slung over his
hips, half-hiding that delicious V-line of his lower abs. If this were a
treasure hunt, the V would most definitely point me in the direction of the
gold.
How did I end up with such delicious mates? Thank you, Gaia.
Hale locks eyes with me and I swear the fire inside me flares with the
intensity of our look. Why do I have this overwhelming need to claim all of
them now? I went from being scared to even show them that I cared about
them to wanting to hump and jump their bones like we’re rabbits or
something.
"Did you need something Lana?" His voice catching slightly on the
word ‘need.’
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I bat my eyes at him. "Yes, I do need something." 
A cool touch trails over my arm as a wave of heat settles low in my
abdomen, wanting to burn the fucking world down until I’m satisfied. I
need all three of them. All five of them.
"Lana, we need to get you in the shower. I don't have enough control yet
to keep doing this much longer," Luke whispers to me, pulling me from my
lust-induced fantasy.
Focus, Lana. Cool down.
"Let me know if I can help you later, Little One." 
Hale's statement lingering in the air, tempting me to ask him for help
right this fucking minute.
Stomping into the bathroom, I screech, "I need fucking wine!" 
Without caring in the slightest about my nudity, I strip out of my
leathers, desperate to jump into the ice-cold shower. I am on fire. 
No, I am literally on fire. A slight flicker of flames kisses my fingertips.
I’m too focused on that to care about the twins coughing and gently
encouraging me to get my naked ass into the shower. Rolling my eyes, I
step under the water that Leo already turned on. 
The water sizzles against my skin, making steam billow up around me.
Clearing my mind from all traces of the lust I felt, I focus on my goals of
conquering these powers and learning to wield them to help us in our end
goal.
We died because of me once before. They could die again, because of
me. This time for good.
The sizzling of the water abates at the somber thoughts and I return to
my normal state of mind. My powers lock back up and I search inside me,
as Serenity taught me, not seeing a trace of the teal power flowing
anywhere through me.
We’re safe.
"Uhm,” Luke says hesitantly. I jump at the sound of his voice, having
forgotten he’s even there. “Do you mind if we join you?"
I turn my head to look at him and promptly choke on the spit in my
mouth at the sight of the twins standing there, naked as the day they were
born. Holy perfection.
They looked like they would put Zeus to shame with their beautiful
faces and sculpted bodies. Their cocks, long and proud and holy fucking
erect, have me suddenly feeling shy at my own nakedness now that the fire
is burning in me. My cheeks flush as I nod at him, unable to say anything,
wanting to feel this connection with them but, at the same time, scared as
hell. They have more experience with all of this. I only have my time with
Zedd. 
Please, don't let them think I'm terrible at anything.
My head hangs at the thought of falling short of their expectations. I
focus on their feet as they enter the shower, determined to keep staring until
I develop a foot fetish, until a hand grips my chin lightly, pulling my head
up to an icy-blue pair of eyes that pull me in and swallow up my fear.
 All I can see in the depths of Leo’s gaze is complete love and
compassion, all traces of the usual mirth gone.
"Lana, we would never push you to do anything that you aren’t
comfortable with. Please know that. We will wait for however long you
need" 
He drops a soft kiss on my forehead, making my eyelids flutter close at
the tender gesture.
Luke traces soft circles on my back from behind me, somehow soothing
me and tempting all at the same time. "Even if you only allow us to hold
you, it will be more than enough. We just want to be here for you when you
struggle, as you have been for the rest of us our entire lives."
Leo steps closer to my front and runs his hands up and down the sides
of my arms. "I'm just now trying to learn that we don't have to carry the
weight of the world alone. Do I love to crack a fucking joke and not take
life seriously? Absolutely. That's not going to fucking change. But I want
you to know that there's more to us than that."
My heart melts into a puddle in my chest cavity. Surely, this much love
isn’t healthy for a human heart? Good thing I’m Fae. I laugh maniacally in
my head.
It’s no secret that the twins are my playful mates, always ready to bring
a smile to everyone's faces, but I have never seen them looking as
vulnerable as they were now. To bare their souls to me like this, to try to
prove to me that they would stand by my side no matter what—this is a
moment I’ll never forget.
Feeling emboldened by their love, I tip my head up and gaze into Leo's
eyes, biting my lower lip as I think of how to proceed with both of them in
here.
"Is our little queen feeling a bit shy?" Leo teases me, his dimples on full
display as he smirks
Oh fuck no. I don’t back down from a challenge.
 Narrowing my eyes for a moment, I lunge for his lips, not backing
down. I know what he’s doing by challenging me and damn him for playing
me like a violin.
As our lips crash together in a flurry of tongues, his hand on my back
lowers to caress the curve of my ass and before I know it, two hands are
there, gripping me tightly, kneading my flesh and pushing me further into
Leo. 
My breasts push against his chest, my nipples scratching deliciously
against the dusting of chest hair. I moan at the sensation and Leo groans in
response, his hard length pushing against my lower stomach, begging for
attention.
A warm body pushes against my back and suddenly, another hard dick
presses into my skin. That shit feels like it’s mining for gold, the way it’s
trying to nuzzle between my ass cheeks.
My confidence slightly wavers so I pull away from Leo but before I can
overthink, hands come around my body, to pinch and swirl my nipples. The
sensation shoots fireworks straight to my clit as I writhe in Luke's hands,
wanting more but not knowing what I need.
"Do you like this, my Queen?" Luke's hot breath fans across the back of
my neck as he nuzzles into me. Not waiting for my answer, he licks at that
sensitive spot on my neck, continuing to alternate his torture tactics on my
sensitive nipples.
I lock eyes with Leo, who’s staring intently down at me as his twin pays
special attention to my breast, and moan at the thought of being watched. I
reach for his length and his eyes widen in shock as I tentatively take him in
my hand, just barely being able to wrap my fingers around his width.
This is going to rip me in two. I just know it.
As I stroke him, he groans and throws his head back to rest against the
cream tiles of the wall. The sounds of his pleasure spur me on and I pump
him faster, wanting to hear all the delicious sounds he has to offer me.
Knowing that I am the one causing him to make them, emboldens how I
feel in this moment.
One of Luke’s hands leaves my nipple and trails down my body,
sending shivers through me at the slight touch. It halts as it comes to the top
of my mound, clearly unsure if he should continue.
"If you fucking stop now, I'll rip your balls off," I breathlessly threaten.
The chuckle from Luke’s chest vibrates against my back while Leo
cringes at my threat. I’m sure those aren’t the words he wanted to hear with
my hand so close to his balls. 
Oops. Sorry, not sorry.
As I continue to stroke Leo, his twin's fingers part my folds and brush
lightly against my clit, making me mewl in desperation for more. The
fucker’s teasing me.
"Luke," I moan. "Please."
A low growl sounds from him and before I can comprehend what the
fuck just happened, I’m putty in his hands, my knees weak, as he applies
the perfect pressure on my clit, bringing me closer to the edge.
Leo removes my hand from his cock and pushes me back against Luke,
kneeling to the ground in front of me. Luke's hand finds its way back to my
breast, making me cry out in need and angry that my needy vagina isn’t
being given any attention.
Leo's eyes smolder. "Tsk, tsk. No need to pout. I'm about to have a
feast."
A feast?
Overwhelming pleasure shoots through me as he leans forward and
licks along my slit, showing me a new sensation. One hand parts my folds
as he licks and sucks, until I’m hanging off the cliff, waiting to dive down.
I moan and beg for more, quivering against their attack, completely lost
in the oblivion of pleasure. Nothing is on my mind, besides the orgasm that
I’m chasing and that keeps evading me.
 I look down at Leo with a pleading, half-there look. He winks at me as
he thrusts a finger up into me for a moment before adding in another,
curling them deep in me as he gives long and hard licks to my swollen clit
Oh fuck.
I reach behind me and grip Luke's arms to brace myself as the intense
orgasm crashes through my body like a tidal wave. I buck my hips against
his mouth as he does not relent for a second on his assault.
"Stop, stop, it's too sensitive now! I can't handle more," I plead.
He retracts from my pussy, grinning up at me like a kid who wants a
smiley face sticker for doing a good job. Fucking adorable male ego.
Luke’s hard dick at my back reminds me that they still need attention
and I turn around to reach for him but his hand halts my movement.
"No, Lana. This was for you. We wanted to make you feel good. We
have all the time in the world to experience more."
Suddenly feeling like the most treasured artifact in the world, my eyes
wet with unbidden tears. I bite my lip to try to hold them from spilling over.
Leo leaps up and grabs my arms. "Oh fuck, why are you crying? Did we
rush you? I'm so sorry."
Laughing at his concern as a tear falls down my cheek, I wave it away.
"No, silly. I just really don't know what I did to deserve all of you."
Considering I was the cause of your deaths in our previous lives.
I’m not quite sure how to approach that topic with them. How will they
react? I just got them. I don’t want to lose them when they find out my part
in their deaths. 
Though they didn’t die at my hands, they might as well have. My ego
and pride were the real culprits. What if they realize that the more things
change, the more they stay the same?
I push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the post-orgasmic
bliss. I smiled happily up at Leo. "I love you."
 His eyes pop open, making me think back to what I said. Oh, fuck me! I
didn’t realize I was thinking it, never mind that I was going to say it!
"I mean, uh … I love who you are as a—"
My lame attempt at covering up is cut off by his lips on mine. This kiss
is much gentler than the last. He breaks it off to lean his forehead against
mine. "I love you too."
"Hey, what about me?"
Luke’s playful tone makes Leo and I chuckle as I turn back around to
the needy twin at hand. 
I smirk up at him, deciding to goad him first. "I love what your hands
can do." 
He scoffs. "I mean, I know I have superior skills but really? You don't
love anything else about me?"
I motion like I’m zipping my mouth and throwing away the key.
My move draws a full-on belly laugh out of him as he steps up to me,
pressing our bodies flush together.
Placing his hand along my neck, right below my ear, he strokes the area
with his thumb, smiling softly down at me. "I love you, Lana. Everything
about you."
Cheekily smiling up at him, I finally relent like it’s a burden to admit it.
"I love you too, Luke."
Hunger overtakes his face as my words register. Oooh, maybe I can get
another orgasm out of this.
Luke turns me around to face the door and gives me a slight nudge.
"Alright, we need to get our queen some food and wine.” With a playful
smack on my ass, he calls, “Let's go!" before quickly following up with,
"Don't tell Ash I did that."
We all laugh, trying to joke about the odd situation earlier but still I feel
uneasy about what happened. It was so out of character.
I hope he’s gotten over whatever’s going on with him.
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Nineteen

OceanofPDF.com
 ZEDD

A screech of the barstool against the floor brings my attention to my

gorgeous mate as she plops into the seat at the kitchen island. Her hair’s a
dark red in its current, wet state and she’s wearing a black silk pajama set
that makes my cock twitch.
Slapping her hand against the granite countertop, she grins at me. “Feed
me!”
Damn, she is so adorable.
Turning around to grab the pan, I bring it over to the plate in front of her
and tip the fresh grilled cheese sandwich onto her plate.
Her eyes widened as she licks her lips. "Is there tomato soup?"
She bats her eyes at me and I scoff, as though offended. “As if I’d forget
the most important part!”
Tomato soup and grilled cheese had been a staple in our house growing
up. Beth used to make the best sandwiches, refusing to share her secret
recipe, until I hounded her incessantly about it. She made me swear to never
tell anyone that the secret was a ridiculous amount of butter that would clog
up all of our arteries.
Chuckling at the memory of how I used to chase her asking for the
recipe and she used to giggle while running away from me, I grab a bowl of
the hot soup for Lana and return to her, placing it next to her plate. Part of
me thinks she always intended on sharing the secret ingredient with me—
she just enjoyed the game.
Lana squeals in delight but then falters, the smile leaving her face as she
stares at the meal in front of her.
Seeing her face fall, I know where her mind has gone to. 
Walking around the island, I stop at her side and pull her against me,
holding her and waiting for the grief to pass, no words needed. While I was
preparing dinner, the same emotions rushed through me so I know how she
feels. It was my first time making the meal without Beth and it’s Lana’s first
time eating without her.
“One day we’ll be able to smile at the memories, but for now, we need
to allow ourselves to feel that pain and learn to lean on each other in those
moments.”
Her shoulders heave as she takes a big breath and blows it out. "I'm
good. Thank you, Zedd baby."
I fucking love her nickname for me. It makes my heart swell every
damn time the words roll off of her tongue. 
I squeeze her shoulder and drop a kiss at the top of her head. "No need
to thank me. I am your mate after all." I head back to get the plates ready
for the rest of the guys.
Out of my peripheral vision, I see Lana staring at me with such intense
love in her eyes, that I struggle to not go back to her and confess my own
undying love. It’s probably much too soon for that and I don’t want to rush
anything. So instead, I allow myself to smile as I fix up the rest of the
sandwiches.
Maybe this can work between all of us. I was doubtful at the beginning
because of how diverse our personalities are and how differently we
approach life. I know some of the guys are more jealous than the others but
we all have our moments. I had a slight flare up when the twins had been so
forward so early out of the gate but ever since, I’ve acclimated.
 Ash's reaction earlier has me concerned, especially since I’m the only
person who knows of what happened between us the night at the inn.
There’s a darkness in him that he’s been hiding ever since. I see it rearing
its head every now and then, threatening to destroy our fragile new
relationship with Lana.
I assumed that we would be able to figure it out and control it before the
others picked up on it but I’m starting to worry about the choice to keep it
from them. He seems territorial of Lana and in training sessions, he’s been
withdrawn from the rest of us. Even when we went out with Serenity’s
mates, he was quieter than even Serenity’s quietest mate, which is saying
something.
Granted he’s never been the most social butterfly and there’s nothing
wrong with that. But this is something else. Something deeper. Something
darker.
Taking a plate and a bowl of soup, I pad past Lana, smiling at her when
she blows me a kiss. In the living area, I find Ash sprawled on his back on
the sectional, one arm behind his head, the other over his eyes. 
“Hey, are you hungry?” I hold up the food like a peace offering. “I made
grilled cheese and tomato soup.” 
He doesn’t even bother to open his eyes to look at me. "Nah, I'm good."
So that’s how this is going to be.
"You need to eat, Ash. Using our powers in training is taking a lot out of
us. You need to be well-rested and healthy."
"Are you my mother now, Zedd? No, you aren't. She just died."
A loud crash comes from the kitchen and my little hellion comes flying
around the corner like a bat out of hell. This is not going to be good.
"How fucking dare you!” she rages and I swear her eyes flash silver for
a second. “She deserves to be spoken about with a lot more fucking love
and respect than how you are currently.”
Wow, I really need to get some sleep.
 She gestures at me. “Zedd is the only one around here that ever makes
food and you damn well better thank him and eat the fucking food when
he’s here personally offering!”
My sweet mate, coming to my defense.
I’m worried about her attacking him like this, with his fragile mental
state nowadays. If he brings that darkness out around her and puts her in a
dangerous situation, this will all go to shit.  
She’s mine to love and protect and I won’t hesitate to do so, even if it
means protecting her from one of her other mates.
Ash's eyes fly open and he sits up, smooth and quiet like a vampire
rising from his coffin. He cocks his head at her. “Who put you in charge?
I'll start taking orders from you when you actually get control of your
powers and show your worth.”
Her mouth drops open before she purses her lips and her eyes narrow,
glowing silver once more. She seethes at him. “I might not have full control
of my powers but I have a lot more to handle than your one affinity,
asshole. So, suck a dick and choke on it.” 
Where the fuck are the rest of the guys when I need them? Jerking each
other off?
My fears come true as Ash's eyes turn black and Lana gapes at him in
shock at the change.
I grab Lana by the arm and pull her away as she seems frozen in shock.
"Well, this has been a blast but I'm going to suggest we end this before you
guys say anything else you might regret."
Gaia, please fucking help me.
"Oh no, we were just getting started, weren't we, Oslana?"
Oslana?
Lana's brows furrow together as the wheels turn in her head, trying to
figure out what the hell is going on, much as myself.
 "Oslana?” she scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Not the best nickname I've
heard. Maybe you should leave that to Luke." 
Deep laughter comes from Ash, not the kind of laughter I’ve ever heard
from him before. It makes my skin crawl as the hairs on my arm stand on
edge, stirring my magic within me.
"I will not entertain these childish antics any longer,” he says
dismissively. “Leave the soup and sandwich if it ensures that you'll both
leave me alone.”
I eye him from a moment before leaving the food on the coffee table in
front of him, noting how his eyes have gone back to their natural color. 
I don't know if I can keep this darkness a secret for much longer, I think
as he lays back down in the same position. Get it together, Ash.
Heavy footsteps pound down the stairs as the rest of the guys finally
join us. With Lana’s hand in mine, I guide her back to the kitchen, trying to
figure out what to do. She seems to be in a state of shock, her face devoid of
emotions. 
In the kitchen, the twins have gone to grab their own plates of food,
while Hale picks at the broken pieces of Lana’s plate and the crust of the
sandwich that she never ate.
He quirks an eyebrow at us. "What happened?"
Lana comes out of her seemingly-comatose state long enough to answer.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
Hale looks over at me, clearly wanting more than that, but I’m not
opening that can of worms if Lana isn’t ready to talk about it. However, if
Ash’s rage gets any worse, I would tell Lana about the night at the inn
myself. If he can’t figure this shit out, she deserves to know. They all do.
"I think everyone is just tired and hungry,” I state in a gentle voice,
hoping he drops it. “We should all eat and get some rest. Emotions are
running high with the stress of everything going on right now." 
 Hale watches me for a moment before deciding that’s all he’s getting.
Shrugging, he does as I hope and goes to throw out the rest of the mess
before grabbing his own food.
Though Hale is the calm, collected decision maker of the group, I’m
worried that he’ll become unhinged if he finds out one of our own treated
Lana with such disrespect.
The quiet and collected ones are always the ones to be scared of.

Hale

What the fuck is going on around here?

It feels like I walked into a war zone with the plate smashed on the
ground and the tension thick and heavy in the air. The twins filled me in on
what happened with Ash and the spanking conversation while I was in the
shower and now this? 
I can’t help the doubt that filters in. Can we make this work? Will we
ever all feel satisfied?
I shake my head. This is all still fresh but we’re fated to be her mates so
there must be a way for us to coexist and find some normalcy in this
situation. We’re meant for her, just as she is meant for us.
How long will it take for us to find our groove as a unit?
As I’m stewing over my thoughts while eating with the twins, Zedd
begins washing the dishes, humming a soft tune.
I pause in my eating. "Zedd, I can wash those. You don't need to cook
and clean."
He waves a soapy hand in the air. "I appreciate that but I find it soothing
and I need a moment to collect my thoughts right now. Lana deserves this
time upstairs to herself for a little bit."
 He’s such a damn good man.
Grunting in acknowledgement, I glance over at the unusually-quiet
twins as they eat in complete silence. I take a deep breath and blow it out
before standing and crossing over to the where, Ash, the brooding asshole,
is lounging.
Taking note of the empty bowl and plate on the coffee table, I cross to
sit on the opposite side of the sectional from him. He shows no sign of
caring that I’m here, continuing to lay as he is without so much as a twitch.
I’ve noticed his slow withdrawal from the group in the past two days. I
had chalked it up to him dealing with all of the changes in his own way,
well aware he isn’t the best at talking about his emotions. I thought maybe
he just needed some space.
However, now, it seems to be affecting the rest of the group and I won’t
allow that. We have way too much shit to deal with and not enough time.
We can’t fall apart as a family right now.
"Hey, Ash," I start off lightly, hoping he would engage.
He gives me a two-fingered wave and nothing else.
Okay, let’s try again. Careful not to push him, I ask, "What's going on?"
His chest rises with his deep inhale and exhale before he speaks. "Oh,
just the usual—not being wanted by Lana and arguing with her."
Rubbing my eyes, I struggle to find the words to handle this situation. I
don’t want to make him feel like I’m attacking him but I need him to see
that this can’t continue. 
"Look man, it isn't that Lana doesn't want you. We're all learning control
over our powers and I know that she would never hurt you on purpose. That
burn was an accident." He scoffs and I breeze past it. "You've been different
recently. Withdrawn from the group and territorial of Lana. What's going
on? I know this dynamic isn't conventional but we all decided to share her
even before we learned of our magic and this world."
 Bitterness seeps into his words. "Well, maybe I don't want to share her
anymore."
I can’t help the harsh bark of laughter that escapes me. "Well, I don't
think that's up to you, bud. I think that's Lana's call. Oh, wait—no. Maybe
it's fucking fate's call. We're all her mates. Accept it and chill out with the
temper tantrums."
I push up from the sectional, done with his pissy behavior, but halt at his
quiet words. "Watch yourself, Halston."
Halston?
"Is that a threat?" I ask incredulously.
"Take it as you will."
This is the man who I consider one of my brothers. 
Shaking my head, I say, "I might be the calm, rational one but don’t
mistake that for weakness. I won’t hesitate to kick your ass if you ever try
to harm anyone in our group. Remember that.” 
I walk away from him and up the stairs to check on Lana. I’m so proud
of her for connecting with her powers today and I don’t want this issue with
Ash to set her back in her training.
Knocking on our bedroom door, I call out to her, "Lana? Can I come
in?"
"Sure, I don't own the place."
Ugh, not a good sign.
I enter and close the door behind me, making my way over to where
she’s laying spread eagle on the large bed. Her hair is spread around her,
still wet from her shower, and her skin is flushed, probably from stewing in
her anger.
I sit on the edge of the bed and run my fingertips lightly up and down
her forearm. "So, you connected with your powers today. I'm so proud of
you, Little One."
 She whips her head towards me, regarding me suspiciously. She
probably assumed I would bring up Ash but I don’t want to push her if she
isn’t ready. Besides, she was so happy for us when we unlocked our powers
and I don’t think anyone has realized that they haven’t returned the favor.
A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "Yeah. I did. It was such
a surreal feeling. Serenity said it's only a small sliver of my powers but
hopefully I'll be able to pull more out soon."
"We all have to start somewhere. I know you'll excel and overtake all of
us soon." 
She moves her arm and pats the spot next to her. I leap onto the bed,
excited to have a moment alone with her. As I settle in, I pull her body to
mine and she quickly molds herself to my side with her head on my chest.
As she draws circles on my abdomen with her index finger, she says,
"What if I don't surpass you all? What if I can't control my powers?"
Running my fingers through her damp hair, I answer, "I think that you
won't stop trying until you master your powers. I think that you’ll surprise
everyone, even yourself, with your tenacious nature. You're a force to be
reckoned with. Don't ever doubt that."
"How do you always know what to say?"
Chuckling, I lower my head to kiss the top of her head. "You're my
mate. I was meant for you, remember?"
I feel her grin against my chest before she tilts her head up, drawing me
into her gorgeous eyes, which appear to have silver flecks in them now. As I
run my hand against her neck and cheek, her eyes flutter shut and she sighs.
"I love you, Hale. Thank you for being my rock."
Fuck. I will never grow tired of hearing those words come from her
gorgeous lips.
"I love you too, Lana. We'll get through this. I promise you." 
As she rests back against me, I continue running my fingers along her
skin, thinking about what’s to come. We all need to be at our strongest so
that if this dark Fae decides to show his face, we'll be ready. Ash needs to
get his shit together and remember we’re all here to love and protect Lana.
As if sensing my thoughts, she says, "What if Ash doesn't want to do
this anymore?"
Then he’d be the biggest fucking moron in all the realms.
Taking a moment to collect my thoughts before answering, I squeeze
her to me. "Ash loves you, Lana. I think he's just struggling with figuring
out how to share you with everyone and it’s still so new. He wants to feel
wanted by you, just like the rest of us do. I think you guys need to have a
talk when you feel ready."
"I didn't mean to hurt him," she admits softly.
"I know that, Little One. I'm sure he knows that too, deep down, but he's
just being stubborn and needs to lick his wounds."
She yawns against my chest and I kiss the top of her head again. "Let's
get some sleep and then we can tackle these problems tomorrow. I can't
have a grumpy, sleepy mate on my hands. We already struggle to make
coffee fast enough," I rib her lightly, wanting to make her smile.
She laughs and pokes my side. "I'm not a morning person, so what?"
"Sleep, Little One."
She snuggles further into my side and I sigh contentedly, taking this
moment. Something inside me says they’ll be few and far between in the
coming months.
Something dark is coming for us. I can feel it deep in my soul. 
I'll protect her from whatever—or whoever—it is.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twenty

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

I wake like a zombie after a long night of tossing and turning. Falling down
the rabbit hole that my life has become. The moments of sleep I managed to
get were interrupted by any slight movement from the guys. I'd be up in a
heartbeat wondering if it was Ash, finally coming to bed, but no—the
moody asshole camped out in the living area all night.
Does he even want this anymore? Will he walk out on me, on us? Could
I handle that?
Gaia said we wouldn’t be able to bear being apart. Was that true? I
guess, if our relationship keeps progressing as is, we’ll find out soon
enough.
When we all go downstairs for breakfast, I’m not surprised to see him
on the couch, his arm draped over his eyes, as still as a statue. I wonder if
he's even still breathing.
Zedd puts out some milk and cereal on the kitchen island as we all take
our seats on the stools. Other than the sound of me playing with my food,
the whole house is eerily quiet as we eat in silence before going upstairs to
dress in our leathers for the day, walking around on eggshells it seems.
The coffee isn’t strong enough this morning. I know I need to have a
long, calm talk with Ash but I just don’t know when the right time for that
is. I don’t want to start the day off with an argument and I'm almost positive
it will turn into that.
Where’s the tequila when you need it?
The group remains quiet when Serenity appears to transport us to the
training grounds. At the ominous silence in the air, she throws me a side-
eyed, questioning glance, clearly asking what the fuck is going on.
I shrug in response. Your guess is as good as mine.
Today, we’re back in the original training area with the sparring mat and
the weapons room to the side.
Serenity claps her hands together once, creating a loud echo in the open
room. Placing her hands on her hips, she gives us all a stern, disappointed,
'mom' look. "I don't know what the fuck is going on with you all. I left a
nice surprise in the house which should have helped you bond more." She
pauses to sigh and roll her eyes dramatically. "How you guys managed to
fuck that up is beyond me."
Fragile masculinity. That's what fucked it up.
She waits for one of us to say something but we all remain tight-lipped.
I glance over at Ash, who just looks bored with the whole situation, and
frown.
Serenity shrugs. "Okay, keep your shit bottled up. It'll serve nicely for
today's sparring matches."
Choking on my spit like the elegant person that I am, I pat my chest and
cough. "I'm sorry, did you say sparring matches? I don't think my ears are
working."
A few of my men chuckle under their breath, which just makes Serenity
roll her eyes again.
"Be careful, those are going to get stuck in the back of your head."
She glares at me but there’s no heat behind it. "Your ears are working
just fucking fine, Anal. Yes, sparring matches. Now that you all have tapped
into your powers; I'd like for you to face off against each other to start
learning offensive and defensive moves."
Envisioning my ass getting handed to me by the guys, I groan loudly
and throw my hands in the air. "Fine." Maybe they'll kiss my bruises later.
Ash's deep voice startles all of us as he asks Serenity, "Where are your
mates? This could get messy. Are you sure you can handle containing this?"
He has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at her with pure arrogance
all over his face.
I’m actually offended on her behalf at his obvious lack of confidence in
her powers. Has he forgotten how we were all thrown on our asses when
she unlocked her powers when we first arrived in this realm?
Serenity throws her head back laughing, her teal locks bouncing, as her
body shakes from the force of her amusement. She presses her hands on her
stomach, her laughter uncontainable, as a scowl twists Ash’s face.
Well, what the fuck did you expect, asshat?
One moment, she’s laughing and the next, Ash is lying flat on his back
with Serenity's hand up in the air, a dark look on her face as she chants
under her breath.
Oh fuck.
She stalks over to him, towering over him, with a dark glint in her eyes.
"This one time, I will let it go that you have insulted my powers and title of
Queen over this realm. I have earned the respect of all of my people and I
will not allow an outsider to come in here and disrespect me."
I latch onto Hale’s hand, my eyes fixed on the scene on the scene in
front of me. This is not the Ash we know and love.
Serenity drops her hand with an arch of her eyebrow. "Cat got your
tongue? In the future, I recommend you hold your tongue or I'd be happy to
remove it."
She gives him her back, clearly not feeling threatened by him.
Something twists in Ash's eyes at the move. He pushes himself off the
ground, brushing Zedd off when my sweet mate goes to help him.
Not wanting to dwell on his ongoing temper tantrum, I lock eyes with
Serenity. "Let's get this going."
With a nod, she calls the twins to the mat to start.

After watching the twins battle with their opposing elements, my stomach
feels like it’s in my throat and I’m choking on it.
As per their usual, they threw off their leather vests during the battle and
red marks paint their body from the attacks against each other. I’m in awe
as they call their elements on demand, using them for both offense and
defense. When Leo formed a wall of fire to block a torrent of ice pellets
from Luke, I gasped out loud at the display of power. It comes so easy to
them now, it's like they're working on muscle memory while in this match.
Clearly, Serenity had the right idea about sparring to draw out more of
our powers and she seems to know it, judging by the smug grin on her face.
I can’t even knock her for it. She’s been right about a lot over the past few
days and my respect for her continues to grow.
Of course, Gaia had been right in placing us with her. The Goddess
knows what we need, even if I questioned her relentlessly in the beginning.
As Serenity calls the twins’ match a draw, they make their way off to
the sidelines and collapse in a heap, limbs tangled as sweat drips off of
every exposed inch of skin. Yummy.
She calls the next match, pitting Ash against Zedd, and every function
in my body screeches to a halt.
No. Not Zedd. Anyone but Zedd.
Hale is much better equipped to fight against Ash and all of his rage
currently.
"No,” I call out to Serenity. “Pick someone else. I'll do it.”
 Serenity shakes her head as Zedd’s hazel eyes plead with me. "I'll be
fine, Lana. I need to do this."
Tears prick my eyes, as an overwhelming sense of dread settles over me.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Ash and I’ve never felt so
helpless.
My heart threatens to leap out of my throat and commit suicide on the
ground in front of me as Ash cracks his neck side to side, standing in the
center of the mat, his eyes cold and dead. It's in the way he stands, the
upturn of his lips—he's clearly willing and ready to do whatever he needs to
do to win.
To what end? What is he trying to achieve here?
As Zedd takes his place across from Ash, confidence radiates from
every pore of his body, standing with shoulders back, no hint of the
sensitive, timid man I know. 
Gaia, please watch over him. Please let Ash come back to his senses.
A week ago, my biggest worry was what I wanted to do after college.
Now, I've lost my mother, my home, my world, all in one fell swoop and I
have this sinking feeling in my soul that I'm about to lose one of my mates.
As Zedd and Ash face off, I silence my thoughts and zero in on them.
Though I'm watching them both, my eyes keep straying to Ash. On the
outside, he's the embodiment of calm, cool and collected with a hint of
arrogance in the twist of his chiseled face. I'm reading the nuances of his
body, trying to gauge his next move in his body language, in case I need to
leap into action and intervene. I don't know what I could do to stop him, but
I would try.
Damn him for putting me at war with myself. I love him but this isn’t
the man I fell in love with.
“Alright, boys. Just like the twins demonstrated, this is to pull your
power out of you in a battle scenario. I want to see both defensive and
offensive tactics from each of you. The objective is not to hurt your
opponent," she says pointedly to Ash, "But to see how your powers react in
the heat of the moment.”
Zedd nods and she waits for Ash's response, which doesn't come. She
shakes her head and chants. A white dome forms over the sparring mat,
preventing their magical attacks from striking anyone else or the building.
The downside is that the dome prevents us from hearing what they’re
saying inside of it.
After she motions for them to begin, Serenity walks over to stand next
to me. I battle with telling her the truth, concerned about betraying my
men's confidence in our private affairs, before deciding she needs to know.
In a shaky voice, I whisper, “Something has been off about Ash. I have a
bad feeling about this.”
The concern on my face must be clear as day because she holds my
hand in a reassuring grip, a rare display of affection. “Trust me, Lana. I can
feel it. But we need to do this in order to evaluate his powers more. He’s
still a bit of a mystery to myself and my men. I don’t like it.”
Zedd and Ash circle each other and the overwhelming nerves in my
stomach make me feel like I want to throw up and piss my pants
simultaneously. The twins, still panting from exertion, sit up on the opposite
side of the dome from us, while Hale and Serenity flank my sides.
Ash takes a few threatening steps towards Zedd, advancing on him
like a predator, while Zedd's lips move. He puts his hands up in front of him
defensively, appearing to be intensely pleading. He takes a step back to
place some distance from Ash, retreating until his back hits the barrier and
he has nowhere left to go. Zedd is still talking, a plea in his eyes, in the turn
of his lips, but Ash keeps advancing, undeterred.
What are they talking about?
A gust of air surges from my Zedd’s hands,  throwing Ash off balance
and blowing him back a few feet. He quickly rights himself, appearing to
laugh but there’s no humor in his eyes.
 I stare intently at Ash, squinting lightly to make sure I’m seeing this
correctly. The color of his eyes. Completely obsidian. So that hadn’t been a
figment of my imagination last night. 
“Serenity, do you see that?” I whisper, scared for it to be true. 
“I do. We need to see more,” She nods and grimaces.
A blinding purple light flares, bright enough that I throw my hands up
to shield my eyes. When I look back up, Zedd is on the ground.
In my peripheral, Serenity cocks her head. “So, he has the power of
lightning.” That's her only reaction? I step forward to check on Zedd but
she grips my elbow, halting my advance. “He’s wearing his leather. It
protects them from magic when it strikes the material. Give him a
moment.”
Hale grunts in agreement at my side. “He’s alright.”
Sure enough, Zedd is rolling over and pushing himself from the ground.
Ash better hope that he's wearing those leathers when I finally have
power over all the elements. I'm going to fry his fucking ass.
Something in me wants to cheer for Zedd but I know it’ll fall on deaf
ears so I resort to grabbing Hale and Serenity's hands in a death grip,
squeezing hard enough to maybe break a few bones.
Ash waits for Zedd to gather himself, a smirk on his face and not a
single fuck given, even as Zedd steadies himself and rushes him, ready to
take a swing. A violent gust of air propels the force of his punch and I
flinch, preparing for the blow to hit Ash's face. At the last moment, a deep
purple barrier erects itself between them and Zedd's fist smashes into it. His
mouth opens in an unheard scream as he tumbles back and falls. Despite the
pain that's likely rendering his arm useless, he’s quick to his feet, cradling
his fist to his chest.
        In the typical bad guy move, Ash motions to Zedd to come at him,
laughing and provoking him. Rage like I've never seen before crosses
Zedd's face as he screams at him, spittle flying from his mouth.
         I'm ready for this to end. I know if Zedd gets even one hit in, Ash's
confidence will falter and maybe it'll knock some sense into him.
Serenity releases her hand from my grip, pacing closer to the dome and
drawing Ash's attention with her movement. His head turns as he maintains
eye contact with Serenity, giving Zedd an opening to rush towards his
opponent. He throws a round kick at Ash, sending a swirling force of air
with it. Every muscle in my body tenses as Ash's purple shield forms, but
Zedd is quick to pull his attack before it can land and hurt him again. Some
of the force of Zedd’s attack funnels back to him, sending the tips of his
hair fluttering, as he stands defiant.
        Ash smirks at Serenity and motions at her, just like he had to Zedd,
taunting her to attack him.
        Serenity shakes her head and points at Zedd, causing Ash to shrug
his shoulders and focus on his intended target once more. His obsidian eyes
glint in the light of the room as a sinister smile crosses his face. My heart
leaps into my throat and I scream at Serenity to stop this, to fucking do
something, when a bolt of pure black energy shoots towards Zedd, going
straight through the wall of air he pushed to block it, causing him to
crumple to the ground instantly.
        "No!” I scream, running to the dome and beating it, even though
Ash can’t hear me. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"
        A flicker of remorse shows on his face before it dies.
        Serenity seethes from my side, finally in agreement that he crossed
a line. “Step back, Lana. I’ll handle this.” 
        Fire sweeps through my body like the previous night but this time,
I recognize it and welcome it. Every nerve ending is alight with my power
as it rushes into my hands and fingers, wanting to defend my mate from the
threat it perceives. My rage at Ash intensifies. I don’t even recognize him
anymore. Who is this man who smirks and takes pleasure from beating his
brother down?
 He needs to be dealt with and I’ll be the one to do it.
        When I don’t move away from the dome, a ball of fire dancing in
my hand, Serenity sighs. "Be careful, Lana. You still don't have complete
control over your powers. I'm not constructing the dome this time so I’ll be
able to step in immediately if he hurts you."
                As the white dome falls before my eyes, I step onto the mat. I
glance at Zedd and grit my teeth at the large gash extending from his
forehead, through his eyebrow, over his eyelid and down to his cheek. Ash
did that? My blood freezes over. He needs me.
Before I can decide between dealing with Ash or caring for my
unconscious mate, Hale’s there, dragging Zedd away, and I brush off the
worry for now, knowing he’s being cared for.
        The twins are yelling at Ash but I tune them out, turning to Ash.
Nothing but us exists. With every measured step, I advance towards him,
ideas twisting and turning in my head.
        It’s time to be the leader of this group.
        It’s time to channel the powers Gaia trusted me with.
I let instinct guide me as I call my powers, a gust of wind surrounds me.
I build an air dome around myself, calling fire simultaneously. The flames
lick the waves of air, growing in size to protect me. Ash's smirk falters at
the sight as I stalk towards him, that hesitation fueling the rage deep in  my
soul. That's right, buddy. You aren't the most powerful being here. Let's
fucking go.
        I smirk at him and gesture for him to come at me, imitating his
earlier move. He snarls in response, clearly not enjoying the same
treatment.
                When he shoots the same black bolt of energy at me, I see it
coming a mile away. I stay standing tall, unflinching as the air barrier
around me turns teal and his bolt lands against it, sizzling as the shield
devours it.
 Ash's mouth falls open before he can conceal his shock. This needs to
end before someone gets hurt.
His eyes dart left and right and he grins, chuckling low in his chest,
raising a hand to my twins standing to my right, warning me with the twist
of his hand that he isn’t above stooping low to come out on top.
        Serenity's chanting reaches my ears as protective domes form over
all of them individually, allowing me to focus on the task at hand once
more.
        I search his eyes, looking for the boy I grew up with, trying to find
him in the black holes of those obsidian eyes. Even as the plea falls from
my lips, my voice wavering, begging him to come to his senses, I know I'm
talking to a version of Ash I can't reach. "Why are you doing this, Ash?
We're your family! What would Beth think if she saw us now?"
                His face twists, his brows furrow and I think, maybe I can get
through to him.
                "Well,” he says in a monotone voice, his face devoid of any
glimpse of sorrow I thought I saw, “She can't see us now because she's
dead."
Fuck this.
                I raise my hand, poised to attack, before giving him one last
chance. "I don't want to do this, Ash."
        He shakes his head at me. "Don’t you know this by now, Oslana?
You can't hurt me."
There's that weird fucking nickname again. "I thought I told you to
leave the nicknames to Luke?"
        A darkness falls over his face as he sneers at me. "Stop mentioning
their names. You are mine!"
                My heart hurts at the idea of hurting my best friend but this is
going too far. There's no way he's going to stop with the state he’s in now.
 With the image of Zedd's bleeding face in my mind to remind myself of
what he’s done, I pull power from the overflowing well inside me. It comes
easily and readily, forming an orb of pure teal energy in my hand. I strain
against the energy it takes to hold on and pull from my reserves while my
dome protects me from his ongoing attacks—but I don't stop until the
sphere is the size of a basketball in my hand.
                I watch for an opening as he launches orb after orb of purple
energy at me, holding my own sphere of energy in my hand, waiting for my
moment. The protective barrier around me consumes every attack and I let
his readiness to hurt Zedd feed my rage. When his protective barrier flickers
and the lines in his face show his exhaustion. I drop my shield for a brief
moment and throw my orb at him like a cannonball, propelling it forward
with a large gust of air. It shatters through his shield and smashes into him,
throwing him backwards.
His head hits the wall behind him, knocking him out cold and my heart
crumbles at the sight of his unconscious body.
What has our family been reduced to? The weight of the emotional
exhaustion and strain from the use of my powers hits me all at once as the
adrenalin in my body plummets. My knees collapse and I fall to the ground,
unable to support my weight anymore.
Hale rushes over to me, cradling my face against his chest. "Come on
Lana, you're okay."
        As my eyelids flutter shut, Serenity places a hand on my shoulder.
"She's fine, caveman. She just needs some beauty sleep. She looks like
shit."
        I fall into the oblivion of sleep.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twenty-One

OceanofPDF.com
 ASH

What the hell is happening to me?

        Agony rips through my heart as the darkness ties itself around my
soul and yanks until I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm spiraling out of control
and I'm helpless to keep my family from falling apart.
I thought I could beat this.
Lana. My mate.
I'll lose her.
        It's been getting worse with every moment. I still have no memory
of the blackout rage at the inn with Zedd but as every second passes, I lose
more and more control over myself.  Lose more moments of time from my
memory. The all-consuming rage that flares up, threatening to devour me—
it doesn't feel like it's coming from me. I feel like a passenger in my body as
someone else pushes the pedal to the floor.
        Every time I open my mouth while hanging onto consciousness,
poison drips from my tongue and I agonize over the words that spew from
my mouth. I feel like Dr. Jekyll stuck in the body of Mr. Hyde— completely
at war with myself.
        Groaning at my current situation, I slump into the hospital bed I
woke up in. I'm damn proud of Lana for coming into her powers and
whooping my fucking ass when I couldn’t control my actions. I deserved it
and so much more.
        The brunette nurse, with kind eyes like Zedd, comes back in with
Serenity at her side, eliciting a groan from me. I do not want to deal with
her right now.
                "I'll leave you two alone in a moment. Just gotta check on the
patient," the nurse says.
        "Of course, Kit-Kat," Serenity says sweetly, making me choke on a
scoff. The nurse levels Serenity with an admonishing glare. "Sorry!
Katrina."
        Katrina walks over to me with a light in her hand. I roll my eyes
just before she checks for signs of concussion for the hundredth time. Her
hair falls into my face, making me spit the strands from my mouth. 
        "Oh, hush," she chastises me, flicking her hair behind her shoulder.
"It'll be over in a moment." She watches my eyes intently for a brief
moment before clicking the light off with a sigh. "Serenity, there is nothing
wrong with his eyes. No sign of concussion. No extra black in his eyes as
you stated. I'm discharging him."
        "Okay, fine. Thank you for checking anyways. Dinner soon?" They
talk quietly amongst themselves, low enough that I can't hear, before
Serenity pulls away and says aloud, "Can I have a moment alone with boy
wonder?"
        Katrina shrugs, making her way out of the hospital room. "He's not
my patient anymore. You can take him when you're done."
                Serenity drops the Kit-Kat loving personality and in its place
stands the face of an ice queen.
Why the fuck did I challenge her? What inside of me thinks I could take
her?
                She lowers herself to my eye-level and points a finger into my
chest. "Listen to me very closely. I have my fucking eye on you. I might not
know the extent of your powers but I sense something dark in you. I won't
allow it to ruin everything Gaia has worked for. What Lana is working for."
        I can't even argue as I feel that darkness swirling inside me at her
statement. It flares at the mention of Gaia, wanting me to defile the
Goddess's name and spit on the floor at her mention. I grimace and bite
down on my tongue hard enough to draw blood.
        Serenity mistakes this for my submission. "That's right, Ash. You
better be nervous. I'm the only person allowed to give Anal a hard time.
You are supposed to be her mate! Start fucking acting like it."
        There's nothing I can say to make this better. There's nothing I can
do. I want to tuck my tail between my legs and go home. Shoving the
barely-there hospital sheet off of me, I sit up, noticing the ugly gown that
bares my ass to the world. I glance around for my leathers and come up
short.
        "They were destroyed by Lana's magic," Serenity says. "How did
that happen when they’re supposed to be magic resistant? Don't ask me.
And yes, you were carried to the hospital, bare-ass." She lays a hand on my
forearm. "I'm taking you back to the house because you have a lot of deep
shit to deal with. But, if you hurt anyone else, Ash?" She shakes her head,
trailing off. "You've done enough damage for today."
        Pain lances my chest at the memory of Zedd, hurt and unconscious
because of me, and the dejected look in Lana's eyes when I kept throwing
attack after attack at her, unrelenting and uncaring.
I don't deserve to go back to them.
Tears brim in my eyes, the first time my own sorrow manages to breach
the hatred brimming. Whatever the fuck this thing is, has even kept me
from mourning Beth since that night at the inn. Why am I now able to feel
it?
                "Nut up," Serenity says, seeing the tears in my eyes,
misunderstanding my reaction once more. "Handle the shit you’ve caused."
 She transports me directly into our bedroom where Lana is sprawled out
alone in the bed. Longing overcomes me, urging me to hold her in my arms.
                Just before she vanishes, Serenity quietly whispers her parting
words to me. "You owe it to yourself and to her to fix this. Mate bonds are
special. Don't throw away this opportunity to be with yours."
        Alone in the bedroom, I drag my hands over my face and hold in a
groan, not yet ready to alert Lana to my presence.
I don't want to throw this away. She's my entire fucking world.
        I thank Gaia that I feel more like myself right now than I have in
the past forty-eight hours and decide that now is the best time to explain
myself.
         Walking over to my clothes drawer, I ditch the hospital gown on
the chaise and throw on a pair of black boxer briefs before going to stand by
the bed. I stare at her prone form, her back rising with her every breath, her
copper hair spread around her, bright against the white comforter. Her face
looks so soft and peaceful. I almost walk away, knowing how it will fall in
disappointment at the sight of me.
Who knows if she even wants to fix this? I have no idea what the hell is
going on with me or how to stop it.
        I'm broken.
        If I tell her that, she'll think it's a cop-out excuse for my behavior
and kick me out, most likely.
        Steeling my nerves, I ease my way onto the bed, gently pulling her
against me and adjusting her until her head lies against my shoulder. She
stirs in her sleep and mutters my name before falling quiet again.
She'd run the other way if she was awake right now.
        Enjoying what could be the last time I hold my mate in my arms, I
burrow my nose in her hair, inhaling her jasmine scent. The moment brings
me back to when I sneezed on her face only a few days ago. Life was so
simple then, so carefree. How did everything change so quickly?
         Sighing, I kiss the top of her head. "I love you."
            Her body moves with a deep breath against me. "Are you done
being a grade A douchebag then?"
She's awake?
        She doesn't raise her head to look at me. Not having to look into
her eyes allows me to build the courage to admit the truth to her, my voice
cracking with the words. "There's something wrong with me, Lana."
        I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one that doesn't take shit
from anyone and protects them from the cruel world. Yet here I am, the
epicenter for this clusterfuck of a situation. Zedd. I hurt Zedd.
        I wait for her to say something, anything.
        She pushes up and lifts her head to lock eyes with me. "You need
to explain it to me, Ash, because the man I saw today, that was not you."
        The thought of losing her and my brothers sends a bolt of anguish
through me and tears well up. They're my family and I hurt them.
        I grip her tighter to me and try to stem the tears that begin tracking
down my face. "I'm so sorry, Lana."
        "Oh, Ash…" She reaches up and cups my stubbled cheek in her
small hand. "Tell me what's going on. We can figure this out but we have to
do it together."
        I bite my lip and shake my head. How am I supposed to answer
that? I try to put it into the words. "There's something dark in me that
awakened once my powers came to me at the inn. That night, I tried to hurt
Zedd and I don't even remember it. At first, it felt like I was missing
moments of time when the rage would overtake me but now…" I take a
breath in before continuing. "Now it's as if I'm living my life through
someone else's eyes. Today I was present mentally but not in control of my
emotions or actions."
        I wait for her to tell me I'm a fucking idiot, that something like this
isn't possible. It all sounds ridiculous.
         She grips my chin between her fingers and stares deep into my soul
as she speaks. "We can beat this. We will find someone who can help you
understand what's going on. I will never give up on you.”
She's being way too fucking nice. I don't deserve this kindness.
        I try to dislodge my chin from her grip but she doesn't let me go.
"You own a piece of my fucking soul, Ash. You don't get to hide from me."
        Clenching my teeth, I feel the rage coming up. "You shouldn’t have
me as your mate. I’m a liability. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to
hurt my brothers."
        She arches a brow at me. "Well it's a good thing I can whoop your
ass then, isn't it?"
Fuck. Her dominance has always been such a turn on to me and
apparently, the darkness in me likes it too. It wants me to push her more.
                My cock hardens at her words, wanting to test who the alpha
between us really is. I know the others complete a part of her that I can't
even dream of fitting but damn, I know they can't push her like I can. No
one makes her dominant side appear like I do.
        I cock a brow right back at her, latching onto the arousal building
inside me and using it to push aside the despair. "Maybe I let you win
today."
                Her hand slides from my chin down to my neck, her fingers
wrapping around my throat. She applies enough pressure to the points that
could cut off my circulation to make my heart race. Her body rises up to
bring her face to my level. I groan at the display of dominance and grab her
hips, pulling her on top of me.
        Her fingers continue to tighten as she leans to whisper into my ear.
"You will never win this battle. I'm in charge. I proved today that I can
handle you."
                I grind my hips up to rub my painfully-hard cock against her,
feeling my control slip as my hands yearn to touch her. I can't hold myself
back. We agreed to let her escalate all encounters but fuck, she's here, she’s
not pushing me away despite my issues and she’s all mine.
No, I remind myself. Damnit. Not all mine. Ours.
                I grind against her again, not able to stop myself, a soft moan
sounding from her throat as she throws her head back, swiveling her hips to
apply pressure to her clit.
        My hands squeeze her wide hips as she struggles to find friction
against me, trying to take what she wants. "Lana," I breathe out between
clenched teeth. Her wide eyes meet mine, lips parted, cheeks flushed. "I
have very little control right now. If you want to stop, we need to stop now."
        She doesn't even hesitate. "I love you, Ash. I won’t run from you
or whatever is going on with you. I need every single one of you."
She's so fucking beautiful.
                Something in my soul settles at her declaration of love, just as
another part of me revolts at the mention of the others. I push away the
darkness and meld my lips to hers, whispering into the kiss, “I love you
too.”
Her hands fist the roots of my hair as she yanks and tilts my head back,
suckling on my neck. Running my hands from her hips down to cup her ass,
I squeeze, enjoying the way she grinds back into my touch.
Mine.
        The possessive urge flares inside but I'm too lost to fight it back
anymore. All I can see is Lana, the way her body's moving, and the love in
her eyes as she says those three words again, reminding me of my place in
her heart.
        Flipping us over, I trap her under me and grip her black satin sleep
tank, shredding it down the middle. Grabbing the waistband of her
matching shorts, I drag them down her long legs. I'm shocked to find her
without underwear, as she lays there, completely exposed to me. Her lightly
tanned skin shimmers as I watch her pebbled rosy nipples crying for my
attention.
Who am I to deny her needs?
        Grabbing her full breasts in my hands, I lean down and push them
together, tracing the outer edge of her nipples with my tongue, teasing her,
wanting her to beg for my touch.
I've got it from here, human.
What the fuck was that voice in my head?
My movements halt not of my accord and she cries out, begging me to
continue, "Ash, please!"
You've done well getting me to this moment with my mate. Time for
you to take a backseat for good.
No. No! Who are you?
My hands begin tweaking her nipples without any direction from me.
Stop your whining. It's quite a nuisance when I'm trying to deflower
my beloved. This opportunity was stolen from me in our past lives and I
won't have anyone screwing it up this time.
No! I don't know who you are but she's my mate!
SILENCE!
My consciousness begins to fade and I cry out for Lana, scream for her,
but it only echoes in the expanse of my mind as I lose my grip on control
completely.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twenty-Two

OceanofPDF.com
 ANSHAR

Finally, the insolent boy is quiet.

        I have been biding my time to take control of this mediocre body I
was attached to. A dual soul is a small price to pay for being reincarnated
with my mate, Oslana.  Since I didn’t have time to consume her powers
before we died, I did the next best thing with the time I had left. I fused my
soul to hers when she unlocked her powers in our last moments together.
Turning to dark magic was the best decision I’d ever made. We will
have another chance to reign as the king and queen of our realm—as it
should have been in our past.
Once the magic began to awaken in this body, my soul awoke with it.
Since it had been repressed inside this body, I retained my memories of my
past life, and the knowledge needed to destroy the others.
        Allowing her to think it is still the boy in control, I begin suckling
on her nipple in earnest, alternating between soft bites and flicks of my
tongue. Her whimpers are music to my ears as I learn to play her body like
an instrument.
None of them is worthy of such a powerful queen. I'll sever her bonds
with them and bleed them dry in front of her, as she watches the life trickle
out of their eyes, so she knows they will never return again.
I will be all that she has. As it should have been before.
         She pushes my head back from her breast. I sit up, towering over
her, my eyes falling on the mark on her chin. Is that a scar? It looks exactly
like where I dug my talon into her soft flesh in our past life. I smirk. She is
still branded as mine, even in this life.
Her small hands push against my chest, bringing my focus back to the
present as I fall onto my back on the bed. Demanding little queen.
She grips the waistband of the restrictive underwear, pulling them down
and freeing me. My long erection rests against my stomach, twitching in
anticipation of her touch. She doesn't leave me waiting for long, wrapping
her small hand around the thick base, pumping in slow enough motions to
make me growl for more.
I need to be inside her, marking my territory as the man who takes her
virginity.
        She lowers her mouth to my cock and the warmth of her mouth
envelops me, shocking me out of my thoughts at the action. How different
the women of this era act. I used to have to pay whores for this service.
        "A queen does not need to lower herself to such things," I mutter
half-heartedly.
        Her mouth pops off my cock and swirls her tongue around the tip
briefly as she continues to stroke the length. "I like your cock in my mouth.
I like being the reason you make noises, Ash.  So shut the fuck up and
enjoy it."
Fuck, she's so much feistier in this life. I'll have fun breaking her piece
by piece.
She returns her velvet mouth to my cock, sucking and licking, twisting
her hand in a rhythm that makes me want to come on the spot.
                Looking down at her, I marvel at the way she takes me in her
throat, not relenting even when she gags. I buck my hips, pushing further
into her throat, making her whimper and choke as the vibrations of those
delicious sounds of her discomfort tease my length.
         Needing to be inside her, I grab a fistful of her hair and drag her up
and over me, not stopping until the heat of her cunt is positioned over my
length. Placing both of my hands on either side of her face, I pull her down
to me and whisper, "You're mine."
I’ll allow her to think I'm the naive human until this is over. I can’t
allow anything to stop this.
        A beautiful smile graces her face before she drops her mouth to
mine, as she lowers her warmth down onto my cock at an agonizingly slow
pace. My hands go to her hips, gripping her soft curves as I hiss between
my teeth at the way her walls grip me. Squeezing her eyes shut, she bites
her bottom lip before sinking all the way down onto me.
        Reaching up, I roll her nipples between my finger and purr, "Good
girl. You took all of my cock." Her eyes blaze at the dirty talk, hiding the
pain I know she must feel from the tight fit. "Move," I demand, pinching
her nipples sharply.
        She rolls her hips tentatively, causing me to reflexively thrust up
into her, eliciting a cry from her “Ash!”
        Lifting my hand, I bring it down swiftly on her ass, enjoying the
sharp sting. "Faster."
                Her shocked gasp syncs with her inner walls clenching and her
eyes roll back in ecstasy. Her hands settle on my chest as she meets my
thrust with her own movement, drawing my gaze to her full breasts as they
bounce with her. I push my hips up as she comes down onto me, meeting
her with a force that draws a loud moan from her. She begins to move in
earnest, finding a steady pace, her ass smacking against me in a loud clap as
our skin meets.
        Needing more, I remove myself from her and toss her to the side
with my grasp on her hips, causing her to squeal at the sudden motion.
Quickly getting to my knees, I grab her, positioning her on her hands and
knees before me. What a sight.
 A queen of such power, bent over and presenting herself to me like an
animal.
With a hand pushing down at her back, I press her chest down into the
bed, her face burying in the mattress. I run my hand along the curve of her
ass, rubbing gently before bringing my palm down with a force that makes
her yelp in pain and jump but I don't let up.
As the red outline of my hand shows on her tanned skin, I growl
possessively. I’ll need to find a way to brand her flesh for good for every
man to see.
        Lining my tip with her entrance, I run it up and down her dripping
folds as she pushes back. Another slap against her ass. "Not until I say so."
        "Fuck you," she shoots with a challenge in her voice. "Stop teasing
me and show me what you're made of."
Her words reach the darkness inside me, completely unraveling my
growl. "You want to see what I'm made of, sweetheart?" I grip her hips and
slam into her warmth with one hard thrust and a deep grunt, sheathing
myself fully into her wet folds. A cry comes from the depths of my mind, as
the human tries to be heard. Lana, no. Not him.
Snarling, I slam the mental door shut.
Not caring if it hurts her freshly broken hymen and without giving her a
second to recover, I pull out and thrust into her again, burying myself so
deeply that my hips smack against her ass. "I am your everything."
                She buries her head into the comforter, muffling her sounds of
pained pleasure as I set a harsh, fast pace, pumping in and out of her,
watching her slick cunt cover my cock with her arousal.
Wrapping her long hair around my fist, I pull her head back, arching her
neck as I pound into her, dominating her. "That's right. Show me how much
you like this, pet."
            "Please." Her soft plea makes my balls clench in anticipation. I
slow my pace. “Please, what?”
         “Let me fucking cum!” she screams, pushing back against me to
gain friction.
        Releasing her hair, I circle my arm around her waist, running my
finger over her clit before pinching it hard enough to make her cry out.
Pushing down on the nub, I give her the friction she's craving, rubbing the
sensitive spot as I slam into her once more with my cock.
"Yes! Fuck! Yes!" she cries out, pussy clenching around my cock as her
orgasm ripples through her, milking my own release from me. Grunting, I
thrust a few more times as I spill into her, wanting her body to take every
drop I have to give.
I own her, body and soul now.
Time to get rid of her four distractions.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twenty-Three

OceanofPDF.com
 LANA

Holy shit. I lost my virginity.

It finally happened.
I had expected to feel shy and embarrassed afterwards, but instead I'm
filled to the brim with confidence and love.
Heat continues to course through my veins. Ash had told me that he
wouldn't hold back when it came to sex but holy shit, I hadn't expected such
a dominating first time. Even more, I hadn't expected to like it.
As I pull my body away from where we're still fused together, I try to
control my panting breaths. I sound like I ran a marathon, though I virtually
did nothing except moan and attempt to look sexy during it.
We all have our roles to play, right?
Collapsing onto my side, I glance up at Ash, still on his knees, looking
down at me with an unidentifiable emotion in his gaze. Absentmindedly, I
rub my ass where he spanked me, harder than I expected from any of my
guys. The burning sensation still lingers.
He lies down next to me, pulling me into his chest. Ignoring the sweat
dripping off of both of us, I snuggle in, soaking up the feeling of this
moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life. It isn't how I pictured my
first time but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Part of me is relieved that he
didn't treat me like fragile glass, ready to shatter at the slightest of wrong
moves. The pace of the whole thing didn't give me a second to overthink
what we were doing—and definitely no time to relive old memories.
My soul sighs in bliss, slowly mending the remaining cracks in my heart
from my past. This was perfect for me. For us.
He rubs my back lightly, making me want to purr like a damn house cat.
I know we still have a truckload of shit to deal with but for the first time, I
feel like we have a chance at getting things back to normal between our
group.
We can make this work.
Tapping his chest with my finger, I ask, "Do you think you're ready to
tell the guys about what's going on as well?"
Nervousness settles into my stomach at how they would react to his
news and, even worse, the news that we slept together. I don't want anyone
to be jealous or angry, especially with how Ash has been acting the past few
days.
He still deserves to be loved; despite the demons he's warring with. I
won't give up on him. We all have our issues to overcome.
He squeezes me closer to him, flattening me to him, before he answers,
"No."
My eyebrows draw in. What the fuck?
Nibbling on my lower lip, I wonder how best to proceed, not wanting to
rush him but knowing they deserve the truth. He needs to mend things with
them, just as much as he does with me—especially Zedd. A pang of despair
stings me at the thought of how he treated Zedd just hours ago.
I hedge. "You need to. They deserve to know what's going on, so they
can support you as well."
"Oslana, they are not of my concern. You are of my concern."
Why the fuck does he keep calling me that?
I push away to look him in the eyes. "Dude, why do you keep calling
me that? And they are most definitely your concern. You've been a
complete ass to them, especially Zedd!"
His face turns stone cold and his eyes melt into the obsidian black. Oh
fuck. Did they have specks of black that I didn't notice before?
Fear rushes through me. How am I supposed to handle this without
violence? My energy reserves are still running low from everything I threw
at him earlier and I'm not sure I even know how to call upon my powers
like that again. It felt like instinct before.
A dark voice I barely recognize, and that is most definitely not Ash, has
the hair on my arms standing up. "I call you Oslana because that is your
name. I do not owe them any answers, for they are beneath me."
Pushing up, I come to stand next to the bed and look for clothes,
suddenly not wanting to be on display. "We are one unit, Ash. One family.
How can you say that about them?"
His cold eyes track me as I move to the dresser, pulling out flannel sleep
pants and a tank top. I quickly step into the pants and pull over the shirt as
he answers with a dismissive wave and a callousness that has me freezing.
"They are not our family. You have no family besides me. I killed your
parents and I will make sure to kill these roaches again. Pay them no mind."
Killed my parents?
Shivers wrack my body as ice seeps through my veins and my heart
splinters at the man before me. This feels like a completely different person.
I don't recognize any of my mate in those piercing black eyes.
My voice trembles. "Ash?"
One corner of his mouth quirks up, as deep violet flames flare up
around his body, burning every part of the bed touching his skin. I take
slow, hesitant steps to the bedroom door, not turning my back on him as he
lounges in the bed with the flames licking at him. He looks like the Devil
incarnate, grinning at me, as my heart pounds so fast and loud, it's all I can
hear in my head.
 "I'll forgive you for screaming his name this one time but next time,
you'll be screaming mine. Your true mate's. Anshar."
This was who had control when I gave my body to him? No.
No.
My back slams into the door with a thud as my stomach churns with
acid. Outwardly, I stand up straighter and steel my voice. "Where is Ash?
Where is my mate?"
Don't show fear, Lana. He wants that. Fall apart later when you're safe.
The shit-eating grin drops from his face as he jumps to his feet. I fumble
to get to the door, opening my mouth to scream for one of my mates, but a
hand clamps over my mouth, slamming me into the door. His wet tongue
darts out, licking the shell of my ear as his warm breath makes me shiver
with disgust. "I am your mate. Did you not hear me the first time?"
He presses against my back, his rock-hard erection pressing firmly into
me, showing me just how much he gets off on scaring me.
He took my virginity—no, don't think about it. Later.
Memories of Rafael threaten to rear their ugly head and I struggle to
hold myself together as my mind begs to unravel. I can't fall apart in this
man's hands.
I go lax, letting him feel my submission to lure him into a sense of
complacency.
He purrs. "That's a good girl. Maybe you don't have as much fire in you
as I thought. What a shame. I was looking forward to breaking you in." He
hums. "No matter. I can find other ways to have fun with you."
Resisting the urge to flee, I use every ounce of willpower to relax my
body, biding my time for a moment to escape, knowing it will come
eventually. I breathe hard against his hand, looking inside for my magic,
needing to connect to it now more than ever.
Please, Gaia. Help me.
 A small wisp of teal floats around my soul and I yank on it with all my
might, forcing the magic to flow. Pain flares through me as I pump as much
of my magic as I can into my body, pushing past the exhaustion that
threatens to debilitate me.
Game time.
Clamping down on his hand with my teeth, I bite down with all my
force. The flesh of his palm comes off in my mouth and his blood coats my
tongue. With a pained yelp, his hand loosens but he's still at my back.  I
spin on my feet, hands burning teal, and slam my palms against his chest,
launching him through the air where he falls against the wall.
It gives me just enough of an opening to yank open the door and cry out
for my mates before he's there again, grabbing me and tossing me into the
dresser. Something snaps with the fall and my ribs scream in agony.
I lay there wheezing through the pain, tears wetting my eyes, as the sick
fuck casually pulls on his boxers, like he's getting ready to head down for
breakfast.
Ash is still in there somewhere. He has to be.
How am I supposed to contain this Anshar person without hurting my
mate's body?
Footsteps pound up the stairs and the tears come more violently at the
relief that flows through me. I'm not alone.
Hale kicks the door open all the way, his eyes darting around the room
as he takes in the scene. I cry out for him, crying for everything I've lost—
my sense of safety, my virginity to a psycho, Ash.
I want to reach out to my mates but Anshar throws up the purple barrier,
blocking the doorway. Hale pounds his fists, screaming for me, his knuckles
dripping with blood as he rages. The twins appear on either side of him,
staring in horror at me, lying broken on the floor, blood around my lips,
coating my chin, and to Anshar, casually sitting on the edge of the bed
watching them.
 Fuuuck! My mind screams at the distressed look on the guys' faces as
they watch their mate being abused by what looks to be their brother.
Anshar leers at the men. "Oh, how I will enjoy bleeding your bodies out
again." He motions me over with his hand, like he's summoning a dog. "I
will slaughter these boys by my hands for us, Oslana. For our future."
I have no choice. I have to stop him.
"Wait…" I wheeze out, struggling to my feet, clutching my broken ribs.
"I will come with you willingly if you leave them."
My mates scream my name as I make my way to the psychopath,
throwing their powers at the barricade, trying to force their way into the
room.
It's no use. Their powers are nothing compared to his.
He holds his hand out for me and I willingly grab it, playing the
submissive queen he can mold to his desires but he's not so easily tricked
again. He squeezes my fingers and I groan, falling to my knees from the
pain. 
He clicks his tongue at me, a maniacal glint in his eyes. "Now, now,
Oslana. If you think this is pain, you have clearly had a soft life."
Biting my lower lip to keep from crying out, I try to twist my hand from
his crushing grip. Blood trickles down my bottom lip and I'm reminded of
the forest with my men, seeking shelter from the tornado what seems like a
lifetime ago. Did this man hide inside my mate then?
He tightens his grip and I yell out at the sound of a bone breaking,
falling to my knees as he stands from the bed, towering over me.
"That's right, Oslana. Remember your place. You are my chosen queen,
to rule by my side but never my equal," he spits. "I was holding back earlier
to not reveal the full extent of my powers. No longer."
Rage simmers in me, dulling the roar of the pain in my hand and my
side. I glance over at my mates who still scream for me, throwing
obscenities at their brother. Luke kneels on the floor, his hands over his
mouth, as he stares with tears rolling down his face, unrestrained. Leo
pushes his brother into action, yelling at his brother frozen stiff. There's an
animalistic insanity in Hale's eyes that terrifies me. And Zedd, lying on the
couch downstairs, unconscious…
Resolve steels my back.
At the heat of the fire that rushes into the palm of my crushed hand,
Anshar jerks his hand back with a hiss. In the same beat, I take as many
steps away from him as I can, throwing up my protective fire and wind
barrier around me, unable to call on the teal that's been bled dry.
I narrow my eyes at him, the heat of the fire acting like a mild
anesthetic against the pain. "You're right. I am not your equal. I am better
than you. I will never be your Queen. I will find a way to burn every trace
of you from my mate's body and I will revel in the knowledge that you will
cease to exist. A pathetic blip in our incredible history."
He roars, shooting black flames at me, causing me to stagger at the
force as I fight to keep my powers flowing.
I need to unhinge him enough to falter in his attacks.
"You mean nothing to me, you vile piece of shit!"
His flames rage over his body. "Have you ever heard of the dark Fae,
Oslana?"
The memory of Gaia warning me about a dark Fae on the human realm
itches at the back of my mind.
No. The dark Fae was Ash, this entire time? And she didn’t tell me…
She claimed to love me and yet, she stood by and put us all in danger.
She let me give my body to this man, knowing my past.
Bolts of electricity flow through my barrier like a lightning storm,
roaring with my outrage.
He tilts his head at me. "I'll take that as a yes. Know that I am more
powerful than you and always have been. You can never match my strength
unless you turn dark." He smirks. "And wouldn't you know?  You're so
deliciously close to it. I sense your broken and damaged soul. It calls to me,
wanting to make the world burn for what has happened to you."
He doesn't fucking know me.
"Lana!" A soft cry comes from the doorway.
        “Silence, vermin!” Anshar yells, spittle flying from his mouth.
I glance at the door where Zedd now stands with the rest of my men,
tears streaking down his face, a pink, almost faded, scar marring his face.
The twins have a hand on either of his shoulders, holding him up, as Hale
kneels on the ground, his forehead slumped against the barrier, as he looks
on, defeated.
Taking a deep, steadying breath in, I drop the barrier from around me,
gathering my power deep in my core, as I face the man who took my mate
from me. Despite everything that has happened to me, despite all that he has
said, I feel no call to the darkness.
I have too much to fight for. My mates. My realm. My purpose.
Anshar advances towards me, pure black orbs of energy in his hands,
and I let the love that overwhelms me flow through me. It's like a key turns
inside my soul, opening the door to a well of power that crashes through
me.
Energy dances along my fingertips. Even before I look at it, I know it's
no longer going to be teal. It feels different. It feels like unrestrained power.
No longer confined and finally at peace with my body and mind. My hair
whips around me wildly as a gleaming silver barricade rises up, blocking
his power. I raise my hands, letting the silver crackle into a shimmering orb
in front of me. It whispers to be released, tempting me to let it destroy him.
Anshar’s eyes widen at the sight. Before I can give in to the destructive
call of my magic, a magenta portal opens behind him.
He shakes his head. "I will find you, Oslana. I will make you submit to
me. I will have you."
 He walks backwards through the portal, disappearing, taking my mate
with him. I will bring you back, Ash.
My remaining mates rush to my side, keeping a safe distance from me
as my fingers continue to crackle with silver energy. "Little One, you can let
your powers go," Hale quietly directs.
"My Queen, we're here for you," Luke placates, his hands out in
surrender. "He's gone."
Zedd steps in my line of vision, forcing me to stare into his eyes. "Lana
… you're safe."
My chest caves in as I pull the energy back into me. Sobs wrack my
body as I fall into a pit of despair so deep, it suffocates me. My mates
surround me, embracing me and reassuring me, but I don't feel their touch,
don't hear their words. All I can think about is Ash, locked away in his
body, so helpless and alone. What if he's lost to us forever?
Hale whispers into my ear. "We will get Ash back. I promise you."
Don't make promises you can't keep.

OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Twenty-Four

OceanofPDF.com
 ANSHAR

The luscious redhead caresses me softly, trying to draw out my lust but only
eliciting anger and disgust. Shoving her to the black stone floor, I yell, “Get
out!”
She pleads from beneath my throne, wide-eyed and trembling. “My
king, you always used me in your past life.”
Oslana would never lower herself to me like this.
Annoyed with the whore before me, I crack my neck and shoot a bolt of
my dark energy straight into her heart, killing her instantly.
One less gnat to worry about.
“Sebastian! Come remove this pathetic excuse of a tramp from my
chambers.”
Fuck, what terrible taste I had back then. Clearly I had been trying to
fill the void of the true redhead that belongs on my lap, writhing beneath my
touch.
Without a word, Sebastian drags her corpse out of the room by her hair,
drawing a deep chuckle from my chest at his nonchalant attitude. I chose
well with my second in command and he has done a fine job ruling in my
place, since the collapse of the Light Kingdom forty years ago.
As he is about to leave my sight, I call out, “Is her room ready?”
 He drops the dead body to the ground, a loud crack sounding from the
skull as it hits the ground, drawing a smirk from my lips. “Yes, sir. All of
your favorite items are in there and ready now. Do you expect her soon?”
I sigh, thinking of her love for the vermin. “She will come here for the
human that lives inside me, locked away. She will be here soon. Still a fool,
my queen."
But that can be beat out of her.
He nods and leans to grab the dead whore by the hair once more. “I
added a new toy in there for you that I think you’ll enjoy. It flays the skin
down to the bone with one swipe. It’s infused with dark magic from our
witch.”
A tool fit to turn her into the queen I need her to be. Excellent.
My cock jumps at the thought of molding her into the version of her that
I know she's capable of being. She will give herself to me, body and soul, as
freely as she did to this boy. She will scream my name, finally submitting,
finally recognizing, that I am her everything.
It's me or nothing.
I wave him off, enjoying the play-by-play of the different torture tactics
that cross through my mind, my fingers itching to feel the handle of the
whip in my hands. 
I own you, Oslana. I may have to break a few limbs, tear off a few nails,
and flay your delicious skin from your body until you accept it—but by the
time I'm done with you, you will accept it.
Even rabid animals can be leashed.

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Chapter Twenty-Five

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 LANA

I feel like a hollow shell, dirty and broken.

        Someone carries me to the shower, walking me under the water,
fully-clothed, and holds me under the hot water as I wail, my despaired
screams ringing against the four walls. Desperate words of reassurance
bounce against my grief, never quite reaching me.
I cry for the violation I feel.
I cry for Ash.
I cry for the death of the lives we knew and for what awaits us.
I'm carried to the bedroom, stripped of my wet clothes and dressed in
something that feels dry and like silk to my skin. They pull the comforter
over me, leaving me to my thoughts. I can't sleep. My mind wars with my
heart on what to do next and keeps landing on the same absurd idea.
It's the only one that works.
The guys filter into the room, taking their places in the bed next to me. I
ask to not be held, knowing what needs to be done, knowing I need to be
alone. I can't see, only hear. When the sound of their regulated breathing
registers in me, I rise silently and stumble down into the kitchen.
I make my way to our couch and sit down, making peace with what's to
come. The light from the moon illuminates the room as I grab someone's
discarded glass of wine and sip, waiting. A tug on my soul has me
wondering—is it time?
 A sense of belonging and warmth spreads in my chest, much like that
first dreamworld meeting with Gaia. 
My realm.
        I'm not fully trained. I don't know how to navigate a new realm
alone. I have no idea how to get that dark fucking Fae out of my mate's
body.
But I made a promise to him that he wouldn't go through this alone and
I fucking meant it. 
        There are some things that need to be done before I can go after
Ash. After taking a few large gulps of the wine, I set it down on the coffee
table, leaning back and closing my eyes. Filling my thoughts with Gaia to
call her, I relax enough to fall into sleep.

        There's a shift in the energy around me. I stay there, my head resting
on the back of the couch, my eyes closed for a moment before I open them
to the living area of my home. I turn my head to the side where Gaia sits on
the couch next to me. This time, she has porcelain skin and hair made of ivy
vines, though her eyes always stay the same.
        She smiles tightly at me, looking at my hand cradling a glass of
wine. Her airy voice floats over. I hate how it calls me, even when I want to
be repulsed to it. “Not sure if that helps.”
                I scoff and roll my eyes. “Not sure that it doesn’t.” The lines
around her eyes soften—were those wrinkles, indicators of age, always
there and I'm only just noticing? She looks at me with sorrow on her face,
making my insides twist with anger. “Don’t look at me like you give a fuck
now. You knew exactly who the dark Fae was and you let me…” My voice
cracks, tears gathering in my eyes and clouding my vision. “You let me give
my body to him.”
She opens her mouth to speak but I shake my head. I'm not done. “You
let me give my body to him, knowing exactly the trauma that I hold inside
me. Don’t you dare call me your child ever again,” I spit out. Looking down
at my glass of wine, I let Beth’s face and love fill my mind's eye. “A mother
would never let her child endure as much anguish as you have already let
me go through.”
        Her face softens with remorse but I can't find it in me to care.
She dug her own grave—she can fucking lie in it.
I had allowed her into my heart, thinking that I had a maternal presence
in my life to guide and support me. I remember the love that flowed through
me when she showed me how deep her affections for me run. How do I
make sense of this? How can you love someone and still allow them to
walk straight into the bed of the enemy?
In our first conversation, she warned me that revealing the identity of
the dark Fae could alter the future outcome and she was right. It would have
prevented me from being violated by the very man who's plotting to kill
every single person I love—once again.
"My child, tha—"
I jump to my feet and fist my hands in my hair yanking at the roots.
"Don't call me that!"
She hangs her head. "I am truly sorry this is the path that you had to
take, Lana. You are strong and resilient and you will get through this. Of
that I have no doubt. I chose you for a reason.”
Sorry doesn’t even begin to make up for your deceit.
Her words draw a humorless laugh out of me. "You're damn right I'll get
through this. It won't be for you, though—it will be for my realm and
everyone I love. I won't allow anyone else to lose their mates or family for a
battle that is mine to finish from my previous life."
 Never again. I will not allow there to be another Reese.
She stands and glides over to me, as if floating in the air. I cock my
head at her, daring her to come closer. Though she hesitates, she still places
her hand on my cheek and gazes at me with a tender love. I want to close
my eyes against the betrayal  I feel. "You have so much greatness in you,
Lana. You have it in you to end this. There's a fire to your spirit that was
missing in your previous life."
I turn my head away to remove her hand and refuse to meet her eyes.
"After everything that has happened, you owe me it to me to make this
journey easier for me. Tell Serenity I need her to train my mates until they
reach their full powers. I will not allow them to follow me now just to die
trying to protect me."
She inclines her head. "I can do that for you, Lana. I sense her mind in
the dreamscape now."
"Thank you," I clip out, the words tasting like horseshit on my tongue.
"Goodbye, Gaia."
I turn away from her, wishing it wouldn’t have come to this between us.
The wine glass sits heavy in my hand and I drop it to the ground. It shatters
and jolts me awake in the real world.

 Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sit up on the couch, leaning forward to
grab my real glass of wine from the coffee table. In one gulp, I down the
remaining liquid and place it back on the table, trading it for the pen and
paper that Zedd left behind. I admire the doodles of dragons and a warrior
with long hair that he sketched on one. Smiling softly, I place it to the side
and grab a blank page to pen by goodbye letter on.
They deserve some form of explanation for my actions, even if I’m not
brave enough to say it to their face. A few lone tears escape as I sign the
end of my note. I wipe them away angrily, reminding myself that this is my
decision and I need to own it. I push myself from the sectional, tiptoeing
upstairs to grab my clothes and shoes. Shrugging out of my pajama set, I
wiggle into the leathers and lean down to put on my black boots, keeping
one ear on the even breathing of my sleeping mates.
Once fully dressed, I straighten and take a moment to stare at them,
knowing full well that it may be a while before I see them again. I say a
silent goodbye, careful not to wake them.
I love you all. I'm sorry that I have to do this. Ash has no one right now
and you all have each other. He needs me now more than ever.
Straightening my back, I head out of the room without another glance,
leaving before I cave and throw myself into their arms.
Heading downstairs to open the portal in peace, I still. A dark, female
silhouette sits at our kitchen island. "You're going after him?" Serenity's soft
voice questions.
"Yes," I say, walking closer so I can see her face. "I wanted to tell you
before I left, but didn’t have a way to contact you without Gaia. There’s no
one else I trust to make sure they’re prepared for this war."
Conflicting emotions play out across her face before she lands on
resigned and understanding. She nods to herself. "Thank you for trusting
me. I know our time together has been short and full of our fair share of
issues. But I swear to you, I'll make sure they're ready before they come to
you.”
"I knew I could count on you, Witch Bitch," I admit and smile sadly at
her, shaking my head at the nickname I'll surprisingly miss. She’s right, we
definitely had our issues, but she has also become someone I look up to.
Resting my hand on her shoulder, I squeeze. "I won't let anyone else die
in this battle. I won't let someone else lose their mate like you did. Reese's
death will not be in vain."
Her hand comes up to lay on top of mine. "You can do this, Lana.”
 Silence stretches between us for a few brief moments before she
removes her hand from mine, balling it up into a fist and landing a hard
punch on my shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone I was this nice. I have an image
to uphold.”
Ugh, Bitch.
        I rub my sore shoulder. “I’ll tell them you make me tremble and
cower in fear of your gloriousness.”
        “Lana…" she trails off before locking eyes with me. "Gaia told me
everything. Remember that we are not the sum of our demons and our past.
We are the sum of our love and perseverance through the trials along our
journey.”
        I take in her words of wisdom, truly letting them sink in. Why can’t
my internal demons just die? “Will my past ever truly be dead?” I muse,
mostly to myself.
        She surprises me by answering. “The past is dead. The future is
unborn, while the present is alive. So live, Lana.”
        Shocking both of us, I lunge forward, pulling her off her barstool
and into a bone-crushing hug as I mutter into her hair, “Thank you for
setting me straight. You’re the big sister I never had.”
        She squeezes me back. “I didn’t want to like you, Anal, but you’re
different now.”
                We hold each other for a moment before I step back from her,
taking a deep breath and centering myself for what's to come. I grin at her.
“Time for this autobot to roll out.”
        She groans like she's embarrassed for me.
Closing my eyes, I reach for my power and coerce it into my body,
allowing my mind to pull me towards my home. My realm.
        As a blinding light permeates through my closed lids and a warmth
radiates in front of me, I crack my eyes open and gasp. A swirling, silver
portal hovers in the air.
         A low whistle comes from Serenity. “Damn, someone leveled up!”
Yes, but I'll miss the teal.
        Glancing over my shoulder towards her, I give her one more smile,
before turning back towards my future—and, I suppose, my past. “Get them
ready for war, Serenity.”
        I leave behind my life and step into the unknown.

                My body shifts through dimensions, pulling me to my realm.

Memories of my past life assault every cell of my body, tearing my heart
apart.
        My ignorance and arrogance.
        The screams of my parents as they were slaughtered by the dark
army.
        My best friend Mika and her mates as they sacrificed themselves
for my cause.
        My mates as their hearts were ripped from their bodies at the hands
of Anshar. Halston, Zeddicus, Lucius, Leonidas.
        So much loss.
        So much blood.
        So much pain.
        The scar on my chin that followed me into this life from where he
carved his talon into my chin as I refused to give him an ounce of
satisfaction.
        My desperation to give my life to take him down as he spoke of a
world he was convinced he already ruled.
        He took everything from me and I could only blame myself for not
being ready.
 My body collides with solid ground and I open my eyes, shocked at the
clarity of my vision.
Where is the enchanting realm from my dream with Gaia?
A barren wasteland stands before me, bathed in darkness and death,
littered with rotting plants and carcasses of bloody animals. Where is the
beauty and the pale pink ocean?
I wipe away the tears that dripped down my cheeks as my memories
returned and push from the ground to stand. Cresting the hill before me, I
crane my neck at the endless miles between myself and the dark kingdom
that looms in the distance. A dark storm gathers around the black castle
spires, lightning crackling in the sky around it.
My magic swells within me at the sight, begging me to use it to burn the
fucker to the ground.
I’m coming for you, Anshar.

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 Acknowledgments

Holy shit! I can’t believe I made it. I honestly never thought I would be able
to complete writing a full-length novel! None of this would have been
possible, without the support and encouragement of my fiancé, Blake. I
love you baby! Thank you for pushing me to accept that it’s okay to be
uncomfortable when trying something new. Also, thank you for not being
jealous of all the men in my book.
To my bloodinbloodout cult, I honestly don’t even know the words to
use to articulate my feelings for you properly. You swooped into my life
when I needed it the most and I am eternally grateful for all of your love
and guidance along the way. That panic attack a week out from release was
a doozy.
To Sloane, my friend and proofreader, thank you. You have been such
an amazing soundboard for me during moments of doubt. You gave me the
tough love I needed to make sure this book was amazing.
To my editor, Hana Boyce, thank you my dear friend, for making my
book baby come to life and sparkle in a way I never imagined possible. I
cannot wait to work on many more projects in the future with you by my
side as a friend and editor. You MAY get your harem in a future book.
Thank you to Aubrey with AT Cover Designs for my incredible book
cover. I mean, come on- It’s a beauty!
 Writing a book has been a surreal process for me, full of self-doubt, but
it has also been full of finding my confidence and love for storytelling. The
one thing that kept me going through my low points, was the thought of my
future readers! Growing up, I remember the escape that books brought to
me, whenever I was going through a difficult time. I want to be able to
provide a world that can help someone find that mental escape as well, to
forget about the hard times in life, even if just for a few hours. I hope you
enjoyed Lana’s journey with her men so far, as I’m already working on the
second book in the Darkness Rising series!
Feel the need to stalk me? Join my Facebook reader group ‘The
Cauldron- R.L. Caulder Group’ to stay up to date on future releases, teasers,
and gifts.

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