How to make

your own Cards

Against Humanity
Download this PDF and print it at home.
You can use regular white paper, or heavy
white cardstock if you have any.

The cards are black and white, so don’t

worry if you don’t have a color printer.

Cut the cards along the lines using

scissors or an ancient katana. The more
precisely you cut the cards, the easier
they’ll be to handle later. If you use a
katana, we recommend the traditional
jōge-suburi overhead strike.

You’re done!

2.2
Game Rules
Basic Rules
To start the game, each player draws ten white cards.
The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar
and draws a black card. If Hugh Jackman is playing, he goes first,
regardless of how recently he pooped.
The Card Czar reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the
black card out loud. Everyone else answers the question or fills in the
blank by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar.
The Card Czar then shuffles all the answers and reads each card
combination out loud to the group. The Card Czar should re-read
the black card before presenting each answer. Finally, the Card Czar
picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets one point.
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar and everyone
draws back up to ten white cards.
PICK
Some black cards say “PICK 2” on the bottom. To answer these,
each player plays two white cards in combination. IMPORTANT:
Arrange them in the order that the Card Czar should read them—play
the first card face down, and then play the second card face down on
top of it.
Gambling
If you have more than one white card that you think could win a
round, you can bet one of your points to play an extra white card. If
you win, you keep the point. If you lose, whoever wins gets the point
you wagered.
House Rules
Cards Against Humanity is meant to be remixed. Here are some of
our favorite ways to pimp out the rules:
Rando Cardrissian: Every round, pick one random white card from
the pile and place it into play. This card belongs to an imaginary
player named Rando Cardrissian, and if he wins the game, all players
go home in a state of everlasting shame.
Happy Ending: When you’re ready to end the game, play the “Make
a haiku” black card. This is the official ceremonial ending of a good
game of Cards Against Humanity. Note: Haikus don’t need to follow
the 5-7-5 form. They just have to be read dramatically.
Never Have I Ever: At any time, players may discard cards that they
don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the group
and suffer the resulting humiliation.
House Rules (cont.)
Wheaton’s Law: Each round, the Card Czar draws two black cards,
chooses the one they’d prefer to play, and puts the other at the
bottom of the black card pile.
Rebooting the Universe: At any time, players may trade in a point to
return as many white cards as they’d like to the deck and draw back
to ten.
Packing Heat: For Pick 2s, all players draw an extra card before
playing the hand to open up more options.
Meritocracy: Instead of passing clockwise, the role of Card Czar
passes to the winner of the previous round.
Smooth Operator: If a player slips a card from their hand into
conversation without anyone noticing, they may trade it for one point.
If the player is called out, they lose a point. If this rule is confusing,
you’re taking this game too seriously.
Tie Breaker: If the Card Czar can’t decide between two white cards,
they may declare a Tie Breaker. In the event of a Tie Breaker, the
more conventionally attractive player wins.
Chubby Bunny: Players crumple up their winning cards and keep
them in their mouths as points.
Freaky Friday: Players play Cards Against Humanity while wearing
their mothers’ underpants.
Hard Mode: Play Cards Against Humanity while raising four kids,
dealing with chronic back pain, and waiting tables at Chili’s. Bonus!
For an added challenge, try being gay or black.
Russian Roulette: The Card Czar takes out a revolver. They place
one bullet at random in the cylinder, spin it, and close it. They then
hold the gun to their head and pull the trigger. If the Card Czar
survives, they defiantly place the gun in the center of the table and
eye the other players, challenging them to pick up the gun “if they’re
man enough.” The Card Czar wins a point.
Hail to the Chief: A player may earn a point at any time by
announcing candidacy for and successfully being elected President
of the United States of America.
Race to the Moon: All players begin masturbating immediately.
Then what happens?
Smoke Opium and Play Cards Against Humanity: Great idea!
Wait for Godot: At the start of the game, instead of drawing a
hand, players stare at the pile of white cards. After an indeterminate
amount of time, players move their gaze to the pile of black cards.
The game doesn’t begin. How can it begin? It has already ended. In
the gloom, players shift their cloudy gaze from pile to pile. Is it a trick
of the light, or do the black cards and white cards seem to converge
in an indistinguishable grayness? Mote by mote, dust settles on the
cards. Nobody accumulates points. Nobody wins.
Don’t play Cards Against Humanity: Walk to a park. Call your
mother. Live a little.
2.2
Going an entire Destroying The gays. A bird that shits
day without the evidence. human turds.
masturbating.

Spending lots Fucking the Fisting. How amazing

of money. weatherman on it is to be on
live television. mushrooms.

A crucifixion. Mom. Flesh-eating 72 virgins.

bacteria.

Stalin. Bees? My bright Grave robbing.

pink fuckhole.

My machete. Converting Some kind of Having a penis.

to Islam. bird man.

2.2
Being awesome A PowerPoint Letting The American Dream.
at sex. presentation. everyone down.

German Chancellor An evil man A big black dick. A slightly shittier

Angela Merkel. in evil clothes. parallel universe.

Flying sex snakes. A saxophone solo. Robert Downey Jr. Cock.

Some really Seeing what Itchy pussy. Three dicks at

fucked-up shit. happens when the same time.
you lock people
in a room with
hungry seagulls.

My first kill. A windmill full Sitting on my Sexy pillow fights.

of corpses. face and telling
me I’m garbage.

2.2
Fear itself. A stray pube. A snapping The Black Death.
turtle biting the
tip of your penis.

Walking in on Not contributing The Russians. Your mom.

Dad peeing in to society in any
Mom’s mouth. meaningful way.

Masturbating The Pope. Self-loathing. Whining like

in a robe like a little bitch.
a rich person.

Eating a hard Basic human Doing it in the butt. Dwayne

boiled egg out of my decency. “The Rock”
husband’s asshole. Johnson.

A micropig Sniffing and Going night-night. Repression.

wearing a kissing my feet.
tiny raincoat
and booties.

2.2
A cop who is Full frontal nudity. My little boner. The hiccups.
also a dog.

Heroin. Police brutality. Reverse cowgirl. A sweet spaceship.

Passive-aggressive Eating an albino. Consensual sex. Pooping back and

Post-it notes. forth. Forever.

The Devil himself. Kim Jong-un. Getting drugs Covering myself

off the street and with Parmesan
into my body. cheese and chili
flakes because
I am pizza.

White power. Making the Gloryholes. Fading away

penises kiss. into nothingness.

2.2
Being a hideous Hot wet my Nunchuck moves. Our dildo.
beast that no one pussy is.
could love.

Grabbing my man by An older woman Michael Jackson. My boss.

his love handles and who knows her way
fucking his big ass. around the penis.

Miley Cyrus. My ugly face and The entire internet. Dick fingers.
bad personality.

The prostate. My sex life. Soft, kissy Throwing grapes at

missionary sex. a man until he loses
touch with reality.

A middle-aged man Harry Potter Gandhi. The Force.

on roller skates. erotica.

2.2
Extremely A really cool hat. Pumping out Bullshit.
tight jeans. a baby every
nine months.

Running naked The milkman. Sniffing glue. The Dalai Lama

through a mall,
pissing and shitting
everywhere.

Puppies! The miracle Scrotum tickling. Donald J. Trump.

of childbirth.

Having sex on All the dudes I’ve Many bats. Holding down a
top of a pizza. fucked. child and farting
all over him.

A low standard The human body. Darth Vader. A salty surprise.

of living.

2.2
Grandpa’s ashes. Terrorists. Hot cheese. Getting crushed by
a vending machine.

Pretending to care. Dead babies. Poor life choices. Listening to

her problems
without trying
to solve them.

Dead birds Chunks of dead Denying climate Being a witch.

everywhere. backpacker. change.

Sweet, sweet Hurting those Kanye West. An ass disaster.

vengeance. closest to me.

Hope. Jerking off A thermonuclear The wifi password.

into a pool of detonation.
children’s tears.

2.2
Jesus. Literally eating shit. Seeing Grandma Suicidal thoughts.
naked.

Rising from An old guy who’s A monkey smoking Bearing many

the grave. almost dead. a cigar. strong sons
to work the
potato fields.

Vomiting seafood Viagra. TKTK Actually getting Wet butt.

and bleeding anally. shot, for real.

An endless stream A sorry excuse Edible underwear. RoboCop.

of diarrhea. for a father.

Making a friend. Elderly Japanese Slapping a A shark!

men. racist old lady.

2.2
Shutting Ominous One titty David Bowie
the fuck up. background music. hanging out. flying in on a tiger
made of lightning.

The past. Graphic violence, Breaking out into Erectile

adult language, song and dance. dysfunction.
and some sexual
content.

Jobs. Getting fingered. The Gulags. Unfathomable

stupidity.

Spectacular abs. How far I can The World of The crazy,

get my own penis Warcraft. ball-slapping sex
up butt. you parents are
having right now.

My soul. Being a woman. One Ring to My fat daughter.

rule them all.

2.2
Multiple stab Rich people. Genuine human Daddy issues.
wounds. connection.

Permanent Establishing Inappropriate Sex with animals.

Orgasm-Face dominance. yodeling.
Disorder.

Not vaccinating my Drinking out of A sad fat dragon COVID-19.

children because I the toilet and with no friends.
am stupid. eating garbage.

Doing the The baby that Slavs. The prunes I’ve

right thing. ruined my pussy. been saving for you
in my armpits.

Women voting. A time travel A vagina that Touching a pug

paradox. leads to another right on his penis.
dimension.

2.2
Loki, the Fiery poops. Mooing. A bitch slap.
trickster god.

Poopy diapers. Being able to talk Magnets. A fart so

to elephants. powerful that
it wakes the
giants from their
thousand-year
slumber.

A supportive touch Daniel Radcliffe’s The land of Puberty.

on the lower back. delicious asshole. chocolate.

Solving problems Poverty. Our first One trillion dollars.

with violence. chimpanzee
Prime Minister.

Having anuses Foreskin. How bad my Getting really high.

for eyes. daughter fucked up
her dance recital.

2.2
All of this blood. Dark and The pirate’s life. Emerging from the
mysterious forces sea and rampaging
beyond our control. through Tokyo.

Pac-Man A tiny horse. Women in yogurt German

uncontrollably commercials. dungeon porn.
guzzling cum.

Spontaneous Penis breath. Fragile masculinity. A man on the

human combustion. brink of orgasm.

A ball of earwax, The arrival of Fucking my sister. Explaining how

semen, and toenail the pizza. vaginas work.
clippings.

Hot brown piss. A lifetime of Vomiting My relationship

sadness. mid-blowjob. status.

2.2
Invading Poland. Pictures of boobs. Nipple blades. The only
gay person
in a hundred
kilometers.

Dad’s funny balls. Drinking alone. Me time. Ripping open

a man’s chest
and pulling out his
still-beating heart.

Not having sex. Ghosts. Pissing in my Necrophilia.

thirsty mouth.

Not wearing pants. An unwanted Lady Gaga. A micropenis.

pregnancy.

Arnold Some douche with Slaughtering A horde of Vikings.

Schwarzenegger. an acoustic guitar. innocent civilians.

2.2
Brutal austerity. Balls. Shitting out a An unstoppable
screaming face. wave of fire ants.

Goblins. Pixelated bukkake. Stinking like shit. The Holy Bible.

Blowing my Being a busy My balls Explosions.

boyfriend so adult with on your face.
hard he shits. many important
things to do.

Daddy’s belt. Another shot Wearing an Having shotguns

of morphine. octopus for a hat. for legs.

Casually Men. My abusive The flute.

suggesting a boyfriend who
threesome. really isn’t so
bad once you
get to know him.

2.2
Tongue. My vagina. PTSD. Exactly what
you’d expect.

Being fabulous. Bananas. Seeing my AXE Body Spray.

father cry.

Panda sex. Agriculture. How awesome Being a dinosaur.

it is to be white.

The clitoris. Dying. Nazis. Being stupid

and fat.

The Blood Disco fever. Pooping in a laptop A pyramid of

of Christ. and closing it. severed heads.

2.2
Having big dreams Buying the right Existing. Saying “I love you.”
but no realistic way clothes to be cool.
to achieve them.

World peace. A good, Alcoholism. Lactation.

strong gorilla.

Penis envy. Spaniards. Self-flagellation. Vladimir Putin.

Meth. Cumming deep Judging everyone. Oprah.

inside my best bro.

Doing crimes. The true meaning A toilet. Science.

of Christmas.

2.2
The Patriarchy. Friendly fire. A much My cheating
younger woman. son-of-a-bitch
husband.

A bleached Gandalf. An erection that Having a stroke.

asshole. lasts longer than
four hours.

Indescribable Teenage An Oedipus Soup that

loneliness. pregnancy. complex. is too hot.

Sudden Poop Bitches who knit. The cool, The economy.

Explosion Disease. refreshing taste
of Pepsi TKTK.

Slender toes Making a Staring at a White people.

begging to pouty face. painting and doing
be sucked. “hmmmmmmm...”

2.2
Flying robots A bag of Tripping balls. Nothing.
that kill people. magic beans.

Licking things Getting Samuel L. Jackson. Nicki Minaj.

to claim them cummed on.
as your own.

Emotions. Announcing that I A man in yoga Blood farts.

am about to cum. pants with a
ponytail and
feather earrings.

Dead parents. Expecting a burp Weapons-grade Old-people smell.

and vomiting on plutonium.
the floor.

Flightless birds. The boners A fetus. The bombing

of the elderly. of Nagasaki.

2.2
Explaining the Having sex for Tom Cruise. Multiple orgasms.
difference between the first time.
sex and gender.

Being Black. A surprising Being on fire. All my

amount of hair. friends dying.

Strong female My father, who died Crazy hot Chainsaws

characters. when I was seven. cousin sex. for hands.

My Black ass. BATMAN! A sad handjob. Keanu Reeves.

An AK-47. Stockholm Masturbating. Barack Obama.

Syndrome.

2.2
Winking at Powerful thighs. Therapy. Dining with
old people. cardboard
cutouts of the
cast of Friends.

Used panties. Menstrual rage. Not reciprocating Leprosy.

oral sex.

Grandma. Horse meat. Homeless people. AIDS.

Hot people. My genitals. Accepting the Poor people.

way things are.

Farting and My ex-wife. Pulling out. The inevitable

walking away. heat death of
the universe.

2.2
Mutually assured The screams...the The violation of The placenta.
destruction. terrible screams. our most basic
human rights.

Running out Fake tits. Racism. Dying alone

of semen. and in pain.

Chemical weapons. Gladiatorial Maintaining eye Heartwarming

combat. contact with a orphans.
grown man while
he takes a shit.

Sneezing, farting, Friction. Screaming like Me.

and cummting at a maniac.
the same time.

Raptor attacks. Justin Bieber. Estrogen. Her Majesty,

Queen Elizabeth II.

2.2
A homoerotic Peeing a little bit. A bowl of Children
volleyball montage. mayonnaise and on leashes.
human teeth.

Free samples. Making my Man meat. Silence.

man squirt.

My inner demons. Huge biceps. Land mines. Santa Claus.

Dick pics. Telling a shitt story Laying an egg. Memes.

that goes nowhere.

Murder. More elephant A good sniff. Wiping her butt.

cock than I
bargained for.

2.2
Being white. Filling my son Preteens. An army of
with spaghetti. skeletons.

Still being a virgin. Bitches. Gay aliens. A little boy who

won’t’ shut the fuck
about dinosaurs.

That ass. A Chinese tourist Being rich. A falcon with a

who wants cap on its head.
something very
badly but cannot
communicate it.

Being a Americanization. Giving birth to 50,000 volts

motherfucking the Antichrist. straight to
sorcerer. the nipples.

Selling crack Incest. An octopus giving A disappointing

to children. seven handjobs birthday party.
and smoking a
cigarette.

2.2
Moral ambiguity. God. Your weird brother. Mediocrity.

Sperm whales. Drowning the kids Sexual humiliation. Taking a man’s

in the bathtub. eyes and balls
out and putting
his eyes where
his balls go and
then his balls in
the eye holes.

Sorry, this content Double penetration. Telling a shitty Tiny nipples.

cannot be viewed story that goes
in your region. nowhere.

The Big Bang. Waiting till A Japanese toaster Catapults.

marriage. you can fuck.

Power. My collection of Americanization. Bosnian chicken

Japanese sex toys. farmers.

2.2
Mouth herpes. Autocannibalism. A defective Diversity.
condom.

Cuddling. Teaching a Overpowering A brain tumor.

robot to love. your father.

Girls. Italians. A cat video so Being a dick

cute that your to children.
eyes roll back and
your spine slides
out of your anus.

Living in Going around Intimacy problems. A sea of troubles.

a trashcan. punching people.

Becoming Sexual tension. The total collapse Tentacle porn.

a blueberry. of the global
financial system.

2.2
Shiny objects. Throwing a virgin in The heart of a child. Ryan Gosling riding
a volcano. in on a white horse.

Natural selection. Words. My good bra. Kissing grandma

on the forehead
and turning off
her life support.

Sunshine Cards Against

and rainbows. Humanity.

2.2
But before I What is Batman’s I learned the I’m sorry,
kill you, Mr. Bond, guilty pleasure? hard way that you Professor, but I
I must show you can’t cheer up a couldn’t complete
. grieving friend with my homework
. because of
.

What makes life The theme for next Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we What gives me
worth living? year’s Eurovision called you in because uncontrollable gas?
Song Contest is we’re concerned about
“We are Cynthia. Are you aware
.” that your daughter is
.

Finally! A service My mom freaked . ★✩✩✩✩

that delivers out when she Awesome in Do NOT go here! Found
looked at my theory, kind of a
right to your door. browser history mess in practice. in my chicken curry!
and found
.com/
.

What ended my I never truly Well if you’ll excuse A successful

last relationship? understood me, gentlemen, job interview
I have a date with begins with a
until I encountered . firm handshake
. and ends with
.

The healing . When you get My plan for

process began It’s a trap! right down to it, world domination
when I joined begins with
a support group is just .
for victims of .
.

2.2
Having problems I’m not like the rest Just saw this The blind date was
with ? of you. I’m too rich upsetting video! going horribly until
Try ! and busy for . Please retweet!! we discovered our
#stop . shared interest in
.

When all else Uh, hey guys, I War! What is Daddy, why is
fails, I can always know this was it good for? mommy crying?
masturbate to my idea, but I’m
. having serious
doubts about
.

I spent my In the With enough This is your

whole life seventh circle time and pressure, captain speaking.
working toward of Hell, sinners Fasten your
, must endure will turn into seatbelts and
only to have . prepare for
it ruined by for all eternity. .
.

What will always Next from Why do I What left this stain
get you laid? J.K. Rowling: hurt all over? on my couch?
Harry Potter and
the Chamber of
.

Lovin’ you is Dude, Charades was

would be woefully easy ‘cause you’re do not go to ruined for me
incomplete without . the bathroom. when my mom
. There’s had to act out
.
in there.

2.2
The class What’s that smell? What are my The Five Stages
field trip was parents hiding of Grief: denial,
completely from me? anger, bargaining,
ruined by ,
. acceptance.

When I am What would During his And what did

a billionaire, I grandma find midlife crisis, my you bring for
shall erect a disturbing, yet dad got really into show and tell?
20-meter statue oddly charming? .
to commemorate
.

It’s a pity that What made my first The secret to a Just once, I’d
kids these days kiss so awkward. lasting marriage like to hear
are all getting is communication, you say “Thanks,
involved with communication, Mom. Thanks for
. and . .”

Next on Eurosport: Netflix’s new reality I drink to forget For my

The World show features twelve . next trick,
Championship of hot singles living with I will pull
. .
out of
.

What has In his new Your persistence What’s that sound?

been making life self-produced is admirable,
difficult at the album, Kanye my dear Prince.
nudist colony? West raps over But you cannot
the sounds of win my heart with
. alone.

2.2
When I pooped, Make a haiku. Future historians Why can’t I
what came out will agree that sleep at night?
of my butt?
marked the beginning
of America’s decline.

What brought What’s a girl’s Money can’t Science will

the orgy to a best friend? buy me love, but never explain
grinding halt? it can buy me .
.

A romantic, Only two things
candlelit dinner would in life are certain:
be incomplete without death and
. .
Turns out that Dear Sir or Madam,
-man was We regret to inform
neither the hero we you that the Office of
needed nor wanted.
has denied your
request for
.

What’s my Coming to In Rome, there A remarkable

secret power? Broadway are whisperings new study shows
this season, that the Vatican that chimps have
: has a secret evolved their own
The Musical room devoted to primitive version of
. .

During sex, I like What never fails to Why am I sticky? Doctor, you’ve
to think about liven up the party? gone too far!
. The human body
wasn’t meant to
withstand that
amount of
!

2.2
In a world ravaged I got 99 Tonight’s top story: After months
by problems but What you don’t of practice with
our only solace know about ,
is . ain’t one. I think I’m
could kill you. finally ready for
.

And the Coming this Fun tip! When I am

Academy Award for season, Samuel When your man Prime Minister,
Beckett’s classic asks you to go I will create the
goes to existential play: down on him, try Ministry of
. Waiting for surprising him with .
.
instead.

I’m no doctor, Hey Reddit!

but I’m pretty I’m .
sure what you’re Ask me anything.
suffering from
is called
“ .”

2.2
Terms of Use
Thanks for downloading this all over your computer.

Cards Against Humanity is free to use under the Creative Commons

BY-NC-SA 2.0 License. You can read more about the license at:
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/.

These are the terms of the copyright:

Attribution: If you distribute our game, give us credit for the content.

Noncommercial: You can’t sell our game or any derivative of our game
for money or sexual favors.

Share Alike: If you modify and/or distribute our game, you must use the
Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 License.

You must also comply with the Laws of Man and Nature. Don’t use any
form of this game for nefarious purposes like libel, slander, diarrhea,
copyright infringement, harassment, or death. If you break the law and
get in trouble for it, Cards Against Humanity is free of all liability.

2.2