How to make

your own Cards

Against Humanity
Download this PDF and print it at home.
You can use regular white paper, or heavy
white cardstock if you have any.

The cards are black and white, so don’t

worry if you don’t have a color printer.

Cut the cards along the lines using

scissors or an ancient katana. The more
precisely you cut the cards, the easier
they’ll be to handle later. If you use a
katana, we recommend the traditional
jōge-suburi overhead strike.

You’re done!

2.2
Game Rules
Basic Rules
To start the game, each player draws ten white cards.
The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar
and draws a black card. If Hugh Jackman is playing, he goes first,
regardless of how recently he pooped.
The Card Czar reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the
black card out loud. Everyone else answers the question or fills in the
blank by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar.
The Card Czar then shuffles all the answers and reads each card
combination out loud to the group. The Card Czar should re-read
the black card before presenting each answer. Finally, the Card Czar
picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets one point.
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar and everyone
draws back up to ten white cards.
PICK
Some black cards say “PICK 2” on the bottom. To answer these,
each player plays two white cards in combination. IMPORTANT:
Arrange them in the order that the Card Czar should read them—play
the first card face down, and then play the second card face down on
top of it.
Gambling
If you have more than one white card that you think could win a
round, you can bet one of your points to play an extra white card. If
you win, you keep the point. If you lose, whoever wins gets the point
you wagered.
House Rules
Cards Against Humanity is meant to be remixed. Here are some of
our favorite ways to pimp out the rules:
Rando Cardrissian: Every round, pick one random white card from
the pile and place it into play. This card belongs to an imaginary
player named Rando Cardrissian, and if he wins the game, all players
go home in a state of everlasting shame.
Happy Ending: When you’re ready to end the game, play the “Make
a haiku” black card. This is the official ceremonial ending of a good
game of Cards Against Humanity. Note: Haikus don’t need to follow
the 5-7-5 form. They just have to be read dramatically.
Never Have I Ever: At any time, players may discard cards that they
don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the group
and suffer the resulting humiliation.
House Rules (cont.)
Wheaton’s Law: Each round, the Card Czar draws two black cards,
chooses the one they’d prefer to play, and puts the other at the
bottom of the black card pile.
Rebooting the Universe: At any time, players may trade in a point to
return as many white cards as they’d like to the deck and draw back
to ten.
Packing Heat: For Pick 2s, all players draw an extra card before
playing the hand to open up more options.
Meritocracy: Instead of passing clockwise, the role of Card Czar
passes to the winner of the previous round.
Smooth Operator: If a player slips a card from their hand into
conversation without anyone noticing, they may trade it for one point.
If the player is called out, they lose a point. If this rule is confusing,
you’re taking this game too seriously.
Tie Breaker: If the Card Czar can’t decide between two white cards,
they may declare a Tie Breaker. In the event of a Tie Breaker, the
more conventionally attractive player wins.
Chubby Bunny: Players crumple up their winning cards and keep
them in their mouths as points.
Freaky Friday: Players play Cards Against Humanity while wearing
their mothers’ underpants.
Hard Mode: Play Cards Against Humanity while raising four kids,
dealing with chronic back pain, and waiting tables at Chili’s. Bonus!
For an added challenge, try being gay or black.
Russian Roulette: The Card Czar takes out a revolver. They place
one bullet at random in the cylinder, spin it, and close it. They then
hold the gun to their head and pull the trigger. If the Card Czar
survives, they defiantly place the gun in the center of the table and
eye the other players, challenging them to pick up the gun “if they’re
man enough.” The Card Czar wins a point.
Hail to the Chief: A player may earn a point at any time by
announcing candidacy for and successfully being elected President
of the United States of America.
Race to the Moon: All players begin masturbating immediately.
Then what happens?
Smoke Opium and Play Cards Against Humanity: Great idea!
Wait for Godot: At the start of the game, instead of drawing a
hand, players stare at the pile of white cards. After an indeterminate
amount of time, players move their gaze to the pile of black cards.
The game doesn’t begin. How can it begin? It has already ended. In
the gloom, players shift their cloudy gaze from pile to pile. Is it a trick
of the light, or do the black cards and white cards seem to converge
in an indistinguishable grayness? Mote by mote, dust settles on the
cards. Nobody accumulates points. Nobody wins.
Don’t play Cards Against Humanity: Walk to a park. Call your
mother. Live a little.
2.2
Having a stroke. Getting drugs Strong female An M. Night
off the street and characters. Shyamalan
into my body. plot twist.

Doing crimes. Fear itself. Self-loathing. Sex with animals.

Land mines. Fading away Pretending to care. Swooping.

into nothingness.

The Great My boss. Solving problems The Daily Mail.

Depression. with violence.

Gay conversion Explosions. A fart so Morgan

therapy. powerful that Freeman’s voice.
it wakes the
giants from their
thousand-year
slumber.

2.2
James fucking The guys from Men. Science.
Cordon. Queer Eye.

Coat hanger Poor life choices. Old-people smell. A posh wank.

abortions.

My ugly face and My relationship Catapults. Sniffing and

bad personality. status. kissing my feet.

My inner demons. Pissing in my The Strictly Come Black people.

thirsty mouth. Dancing final.

Flesh-eating What that Mouth herpes. The Blood

bacteria. mouth do. of Christ.

2.2
Explaining how A general lack Itchy pussy. How bad
vaginas work. of purpose. my daughter
fucked up her
dance recital.

Becoming My genitals. Exactly what Brutal austerity.

a blueberry. you’d expect.

Elderly Japanese Jobs. Anal beads. Only dating

men. Asian women.

Stalin. Bogies. Paedophiles. Denying

climate change.

Horse meat. Daniel Radcliffe’s Mad cow disease. Flat out not
delicious arsehole. giving a shit.

2.2
The prostate. A micropenis. Lumberjack Announcing that I
fantasies. am about to cum.

The American Pulling out. Fucking my sister. Fragile masculinity.

Dream.

400 years of Burgers and pussy. Autocannibalism. Slaughtering

colonial atrocities. innocent civilians.

The Patriarchy. Battlefield Dick fingers. Oestrogen

amputations.

The rhythms An old guy who’s Getting An Oedipus

of Africa. almost dead. cummed on. complex.

2.2
Sperm whales. Opposable thumbs. Women in  Blowing up
yoghurt adverts. Parliament.

Slapping your Shiny objects. Soup that Ecstasy.

knees to signal is too hot.
your imminent
departure.

Preteens. Sitting on my face. Cuddling. The homosexual

agenda.

A good, Memes. Committing Cheeky bum sex.

strong gorilla. suicide.

Some guy. The glass ceiling. The past. LYNX® Body Spray.

2.2
The only gay The inevitable Used knickers. Dwayne
person in a heat death of the “The Rock”
hundred miles. universe. Johnson.

A pangender A sea of troubles. A bit of slap Waking up in

octopus who and tickle. Idris Elba’s arms.
roams the cosmos
in search of love.

Meth. Nicolas Cage. Hospice care. Faffing about. 

Your mum. Muhammad Yeast. Hot cheese.

(Peace Be Upon Him).

Men discussing A middle-aged man Licking the Queen. The violation of

their feelings in on roller skates. our most basic
an emotionally human rights.
healthy way.

2.2
Poor people. Silence. Soft, kissy A time travel
missionary sex. paradox.

Three dicks at Giving 110%. Worshipping Extremely

the same time. that pussy. tight trousers.

Having sex for A bag of A disappointing The Holy Bible.

the first time. magic beans. birthday party.

My fat daughter. Chunks of Hope. Penis envy.

dead hitchhiker.

AIDS. Our dildo. Oompa-Loompas. Dead parents.

2.2
Darth Vader. A really cool hat. My balls on Fucking the
your face. weather man on
live television.

The female orgasm. The true meaning All the dudes Touching a pug
of Christmas. I’ve fucked. right on his penis.

Pictures of boobs. Incest. God. A comprehensive

understanding of
the Irish backstop.

Danny Dyer. Being a Wizard music. Her Majesty,

motherfucking Queen Elizabeth II.
sorcerer.

Martin Lewis, Vladimir Putin. A Super Soaker™ The Pope.

Money Saving full of cat pee.
Expert.

2.2
Jews, gypsies, One trillion dollars. An older woman Your mum.
and homosexuals. who knows her way
around the penis.

Running out Casually Alcoholism. Licking things

of semen. suggesting a to claim them
threesome. as your own.

Seppuku. Menstrual rage. Fellowship Shutting up

in Christ. so I can watch
the match.

A man on the The smell of Some bloody  The milkman.

brink of orgasm. a Primark. peace and quiet.

Wet dreams. Being able to Puppies! Brexit.

talk to elephants.

2.2
Not wearing  Goblins. Maureen of Getting crushed by
trousers. Blackpool, a vending machine.
Reader’s Wife of
the Year 1988.

Filling my breifcase My little boner. Emerging from the Radical Islamic

with business stuff. sea and rampaging terrorism.
through Tokyo.

Smegma. However much Nicki Minaj. Child beauty

weed £20 can buy. pageants.

A stray pube. A sober Irishman A much younger A foetus. 

who doesn’t care woman.
for potatoes.

Discovering Egging an MP. Inserting a Mason The bombing

he’s a Tory. jar into my anus. of Nagasaki.

2.2
Viagra®. Harry Potter Gloryholes. David Bowie
erotica. flying in on a tiger
made of lightning.

Pooping back Somali pirates. Still being a virgin. Grabbing my man by

and forth. Forever. his love handles and
fucking his big arse.

Getting fingered. Completely Waiting till Hot people.

unwarranted marriage.
confidence.

72 virgins. An erection An unwanted Finger painting.

that lasts longer pregnancy.
than four hours.

Vigorous Vomiting seafood Scousers. Arnold

jazz hands. and bleeding anally. Schwarzenegger.

2.2
The Big Bang. My sex life. My abusive Genuine human
boyfriend who connection.
really isn’t so
bad once you
get to know him.

Ainsley Harriott. Diversity. Bitches. Brown people.

Sitting in a jar Foreskin. The penny whistle Establishing

of vinegar all solo from “My dominance.
night because Heart Will Go On.”
I am gherkin.

Being a woman. Ryanair. The Force. Cottaging. 

Friction. Flying sex snakes. Raptor attacks. Spaniards.

2.2
8 oz. of A bitch slap. The petty troubles A gossamer
sweet Mexican of the aristocracy. stream of jizz that
black-tar heroin. catches the light
as it arcs through
the morning air.

Ghosts. A good sniff. A meat raffle! World peace.

Lads. A white van man. Wanking into a pool Rectangles.

of children’s tears.

Pixelated bukkake. My soul. Queuing. German

dungeon porn.

Seeing my A horde of Vikings. My cheating prick Doing the

father cry. of a husband. right thing.

2.2
A mopey zoo lion. A lifetime Unfathomable Object
of sadness. stupidity. permanence.

A salty surprise. The wifi password. An oversized Free samples.

lollipop.

Trench foot. A nice cup of tea. Penis breath. Being a witch.

Geese. Flightless birds. A Fleshlight®. Heartwarming

orphans.

10,000 Syrian Blood, sweat, Girls. A live studio

refugees. and tears. audience.

2.2
Some foundation, Therapy. Being rich. Chainsaws
mascara, and a for hands.
touch of blush.

A slightly salty Teaching a Crippling debt. Looking in the mirror,

toad in the hole. robot to love. applying lipstick, and
whispering “tonight,
you will have sex with
Tom Cruise.”

Being a dick All my gentleman Throwing grapes at Queen Elizabeth’s

to children. suitors. a man until he loses immaculate anus.
touch with reality.

Seeing what A ball of earwax, White people. Accepting the

happens when semen, and way things are.
you lock people toenail clippings.
in a room with
hungry seagulls.

Auschwitz. Sex with Mutually-assured Hobos.

Patrick Stewart. destruction.

2.2
Barely making A micropig How far I can Getting naked
£15,000 a year. wearing a get my own penis and watching
tiny raincoat up my butt. CBeebies.
and booties.

The placenta. A homoerotic Executing a A fuck-tonne

volleyball montage. hostage every hour. of almonds.

Being marginalised. Seeing Granny A sorry excuse Knife crime.

naked. for a father.

Hurting those Permanent A hen night The Welsh.

closest to me. Orgasm-Face in Slough.
Disorder.

Dying. Daddy issues. Getting the More elephant

same Boots Meal cock than I
Deal every day bargained for.
for six years.

2.2
Crumbs all over Scottish A tiny horse. Getting really high.
the bloody carpet. independence.

Farting and White privilege. Having big dreams Balls.

walking away. but no realistic way
to achieve them.

A bleached arsehole. Making a Putting things Masturbating.

pouty face. where they go.

A windmill full Being on fire. Barack Obama. Dry heaving.

of corpses.

Jimmy Savile. An endless stream Getting married, Man meat.

of diarrhoea. having a few
kids, retiring to 
the south of
France, and dying.

2.2
Drowning the kids Spontaneous A saxophone solo. Giving birth to
in the bathtub. human combustion. the Antichrist.

A fanny fart. Having anuses German Chancellor A little boy

for eyes. Angela Merkel. who won’t s
hut the fuck up
about dinosaurs.

Peeing a little bit. A snapping A pyramid of My good bra.

turtle biting the severed heads.
tip of your penis.

Sideboob. A sad handjob. Not reciprocating Forced sterilisation.

oral sex.

Lactation. Little boy penises. The screams...the Ethnic cleansing.

terrible screams.

2.2
Sniffing glue. Donald J. Trump. Dirty nappies. Eating a hard
boiled egg out
of my husband’s
arsehole.

Expecting a Invading Poland. The Scouts.  Puberty.

burp and vomiting
on the floor.

Natural selection. Shitting out a perfect The heart of a child. The unstoppable
Cumberland sausage tide of Islam.

Cunnilingus. My collection of Holding down a Passive-aggressive

Japanese sex toys. child and farting Post-it notes.
all over him.

The Jews. Braiding three Tories. Necrophilia.

penises into a
Curly Wurly.

2.2
Madeleine McCann. Justin Bieber. Slapping Nigel Police brutality.
Farage over
and over.

The bastard seagull Famine. The arrival A crucifixion.

who stole my chips. of the pizza.

7 dead and 3 in My Uber A bird that shits Powerful thighs.

critical condition. driver, Ajay. human turds.

Spectacular abs. Sweet, sweet Kissing nan Dead birds

vengeance. on the forehead everywhere.
and turning off
her life support.

Tap dancing Blowing my Gandhi. Listening to

like there’s boyfriend so her problems
no tomorrow. hard he shits. without trying
to solve them.

2.2
Your weird brother. Sunshine A Ginsters pasty A balanced
and rainbows. and three cans of breakfast.
Monster Energy.

Grandma. Agriculture. RoboCop. The end of days.

A deep-rooted A salad for Sexual tension. Not giving a

fear of the men that’s shit about the
working class. made of metal. Third World.

Drinking alone. Spaghetti? Again? Dick pics. The miracle of

childbirth.

My ex-wife. Emotions. Fake tits. Boris Johnson.

2.2
The illusion Academy Dead babies. Drinking out
of choice in Award winner of the toilet and
a late-stage Meryl Streep. eating rubbish.
capitalist society.

The North. Bees? Chemical weapons. Nazis.

Kamikaze pilots. Me time. Huge biceps. Murder.

Daddies®  50,000 volts A brain tumour. Selling crack

Brown Sauce. straight to to children.
the nipples.

The cool, Laying an egg. A bowl of The Black Death.

refreshing taste mayonnaise and
of Pepsi. human teeth.

2.2
Poverty. Italians. BATMAN! Inappropriate
yodeling.

Full frontal nudity. The way James COVID-19. Explaining the

Bond treats difference between
women. sex and gender.

Firing a rifle Illegal immigrants. Polish people. Judging everyone.

into the air while
balls deep in a
squealing hog.

Breaking out into Waking up A falcon with a My mate Dave.

song and dance. half-naked in a cap on its head.
Wetherspoons
car park.

My neck, Saying “I love you.” Many bats. Pac-Man

my back, uncontrollably
my pussy, guzzling cum.
and my crack.

2.2
Throwing a virgin The KKK. Erectile The clitoris.
into a volcano. dysfunction.

Leprosy. Going an entire The Russians. My bright

day without pink fuckhole.
masturbating.

The Devil himself. PTSD. Multiple Bubble butt

stab wounds. bottom boys.

An AK-47  Repression. England. The magic of

assault rifle. live theatre.

Tentacle porn. An octopus A vindaloo poo.  Telling a

giving 7 handjobs shitty story that
and smoking a goes nowhere.
cigarette.

2.2
Seething with Danny DeVito. Magnets. Kourtney, Kim,
quiet resentment. Khloe, Kendall,
and Kylie.

Pooping in a laptop Dogging. One titty Serfdom.

and closing it. hanging out.

Bananas. Teenage Being The French.

pregnancy. fucking stupid.

Racism. Nipple blades. My vagina. Women’s suffrage.

The gays. Dark and Consensual sex. Cards Against

mysterious forces Humanity.
beyond our control.

2.2
It’s a pity that TFL apologizes ★✩✩✩✩ Do NOT Nobody expects
kids these days for the delay in go here! Found the Spanish
are all getting train service due Inquisition. Our
involved with to . in my spaghetti chief weapons are
. bolognese! fear, surprise, and
.

Military historians What are my Coming to the

+ remember Alexander parents hiding West End this year,
= . the Great for his from me? :
brilliant use of The Musical.

against the Persians.

Life for American What’s a girl’s Fun tip! What is Batman’s

Indians was forever best friend? When your man guilty pleasure?
changed when asks you to go
the White Man down on him, try
introduced them surprising him with
to .
instead.

When Pharaoh Airport security  : .

remained unmoved, guidelines Once you pop, That’s why mums
Moses called down now prohibit the fun don’t stop! go to Iceland.
a Plague of
. on airplanes.

That’s right, I killed What’s my secret Daddy, why is They said we were
. power? mummy crying? crazy. They said
How, you ask? we couldn’t put
.
inside of
.
They were wrong.

2.2
How did I lose White people like Here is the church. ? 
my virginity? . Here is the steeple. Jim’ll fix it!
Open the doors,
And there is
.

Hey Reddit! Next from What made my first Uh, hey guys,
I’m . J.K. Rowling: kiss so awkward? I know this was
Ask me anything. Harry Potter and my idea, but I’m
the Chamber of having serious
. doubts about
.

Why do I hurt In a world ravaged I get by with a little Next up on

all over? by , help from . Channel 4:
our only solace Ramsay’s
is .
Nightmares.

When I am Dear Agony Aunt, Maybe she’s born As the mum of five

Prime Minister I’m having some with it. Maybe it’s rambunctious boys,
of the United trouble with . I’m no stranger to
Kingdom, I .
will create the and I need
Ministry of your advice.
.

Why is Alan UKIP: Putting What will always What ended my

so sweaty? First! get you laid? last relationship?

2.2
Just once, What’s there a When I am
I’d like to hear ton of in heaven? is a slippery a billionaire,
you say “Thanks, slope that leads to I shall erect a
Mum. Thanks for . 50-foot statue to
.” commemorate
.

Introducing I got 99 Why am I sticky? In Belmarsh

the amazing problems but Prison, word is
superhero/ you can trade
sidekick duo! ain’t one. 200 cigarettes for
It’s .
and !

Just saw this Step 1: Alternative What makes

upsetting video! . medicine is life worth living?
Please retweet!! Step 2: now embracing
#stop . the curative
Step 3: Profit. powers of
.

What’s the next Hey guys, What’s George :

Happy Meal® toy? welcome to TGI W. Bush thinking Kid-tested,
Fridays! Would about right now? mother-approved.
you like to start the
night off right with
?

. If you can’t be The theme for next A romantic,

It’s a trap! with the one year’s Eurovision candlelit dinner would
you love, love Song Contest is be incomplete without
. “We are .
.”

2.2
When I was Now at the Natural Today on The During sex, I like
tripping on acid, History Museum: Jeremy Kyle Show: to think about
an interactive “Help! My son is .
turned into exhibit on !”
. .

Channel 4 presents I never truly What would What’s that sound?

, understood grandma find
the story of disturbing, yet
. until I encountered oddly charming?
.

How am I I’m no doctor, What never fails to War! What is

maintaining my but I’m pretty liven up the party? it good for?
relationship status? sure what you’re
suffering from
is called
“ .”

This is the way The school trip was Instead of Why can’t I
the world ends. completely ruined coal, Father sleep at night?
This is the way by . Christmas now
the world ends. gives bad children
Not with a bang .
but with
.

Well if you’ll excuse Netflix’s new reality What gives me I’m sorry, Sir, but I
me, gentlemen, show features uncontrollable gas? couldn’t complete
I have a date with twelve hot singles my homework
. living with because of
. .

2.2
This season at . And the BAFTA for For my next trick,
the Old Vic, That was so metal. I will pull
Samuel Beckett’s goes to
classic existential . out of
play, Waiting for .
.

Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we I drink to forget Next on Sky But before I
called you in because . Sports: The World kill you, Mr. Bond,
we’re concerned about Championship of I must show you
Cynthia. Are you aware . .
that your daughter is
?

Check me out, yo! Old MacDonald had Make a haiku. What’s that smell?
I call this dance .
move “ .” E-I-E-I-O.

Kids, I don’t need What did I A recent laboratory After four platinum
drugs to get high. bring back from study shows that albums and three
I’m on high on Amsterdam? undergraduates Grammys, it’s time
. have 50% less to get back to my
sex after being roots, to what inspired
exposed to me to make music
in the first place:
.
.

Mate, 50% of all I’m going on Click Here For

do not go in that marriages end in a cleanse this !!!
bathroom. There’s . week. Nothing
but kale juice and
in there. .

2.2
Terms of Use
Thanks for downloading this all over your computer.

Cards Against Humanity is free to use under the Creative Commons

BY-NC-SA 2.0 License. You can read more about the license at:
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/.

These are the terms of the copyright:

Attribution: If you distribute our game, give us credit for the content.

Noncommercial: You can’t sell our game or any derivative of our game
for money or sexual favors.

Share Alike: If you modify and/or distribute our game, you must use the
Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 License.

You must also comply with the Laws of Man and Nature. Don’t use any
form of this game for nefarious purposes like libel, slander, diarrhea,
copyright infringement, harassment, or death. If you break the law and
get in trouble for it, Cards Against Humanity is free of all liability.

2.2