Passport for What?

by Benjamin Zephaniah

One act
The scene is passport control at an airport. Three passport control of cers (one
female, two male) are waiting for passengers to come through. We see them
through the camera, so the camera represents the passenger, and the of cers
speak directly to camera. The ‘camera’ never speaks, but we understand what the
camera is saying by the questions and replies of the of cers.
The camera moves towards the of cers, Of cer Shiblak steps forward and speaks
to camera.

Of cer Shiblak: Hello. Can I see your passport please?

(It’s as if the camera replies but we can’t hear it. Of cer Shiblak listens, then he looks the
camera up and down as if confused.)
Of cer Shiblak: What do you mean you don t have a passport? This is
passport control. Please produce your passport.
Of cer Shiblak: What is your nationality? What is your country?
(Of cer Shiblak listens.)
Of cer Shiblak: What do you mean you own no country, and no country
owns you?
(Of cer Habib steps forward. She is serious and no nonsense in the way she speaks.)
Of cer Habib: Right. That s enough. Is English your problem? What language
do you speak?
(Of cer Habib listens.)
Of cer Habib: What do you mean any language? Hai tata hadath alearabia?
(Of cer Habib looks surprised.)
Of cer Habib: He speaks Arabic.
Of cer Shiblak: Parlez-vous French?
(Of cer Shiblak looks surprised.)
Of cer Shiblak: He speaks French.
(Of cer Shiblak listens carefully.)

14 Doing Remo e e e Photocopiable Passport for What? by Benjamin Zephaniah

Of cer Shiblak: How is that possible? How can you speak any
language you want?
(Of cer Johnson steps forward. He is rubbing his hands as if he knows he’s going
to catch the ‘camera’ out.)
Of cer Johnson: Ni hui shuo zhong wen ma?
(Of cer Johnson is even more surprised by the answer that we can’t hear. He
speaks to of cer Shiblak and Habib.)
Of cer Johnson: I don t believe it; he even speaks Chinese.
(Of cer Johnson looks back to camera.)
Of cer Johnson: ia Urdu bol sakte hain?
(Of cer Johnson is surprised again.)
Of cer Johnson: He also speaks Urdu.
(Of cer Johnson looks into the camera, and points to the floor.)
Of cer Johnson: You wait right there.
(The of cers take a couple of steps back and start talking amongst themselves.)
Of cer Shiblak: What shall we do? We can t arrest him for having a
fake passport, because he doesn t have one.
Of cer Habib: We can t send him back to somewhere if we don t
know where he s from.
Of cer Johnson: But we have to do something with him.
(Of cer Johnson thinks for a while.)
Of cer Johnson: I know, let s get the boss.
Of cer Shiblak: Good idea. Officer ohnson, go and get Superintendent
Shah. She will get to the bottom of this.
(Of ce Johnson goes to get Superintendent Shah. Of cer Shiblak and of cer Habib
look back to the camera. They look directly to the camera, deep into the camera’s
‘eyes’, curious but intimidating.)
Of cer Habib: I think he might be English.
Of cer Shiblak: Why do you think that?
Of cer Habib: I think I can see a stiff upper lip.
Of cer Shiblak: What is a stiff upper lip?
Of cer Habib: You wouldn t understand. It s this thing English people have.
Look it up in a dictionary.
(Of cer Johnson returns with Superintendent Shah. Superintendent Shah is
carrying a stick. She waves it at the camera. She speaks rmly, and with authority.)

Passport for What? by Benjamin Zephaniah Photocopiable Doing Remo e e e 141

Superintendent Shah: Right. You have wasted enough of my officers time. We
have laws in our country, and one of those laws state that upon arrival you
must produce your passport. o you understand?
(Superintendent Shah pauses to listen.)
Superintendent Shah: Well, if you understand, give me your passport - now.
(Superintendent Shah pauses to listen.)
Superintendent Shah: I don t care if you think all borders are fake. I don t
care if you came from the past to represent the future. You are here
now, and right here, right now, I am in charge.
(Superintendent Shah pauses to listen, then she speaks half smiling.)
Superintendent Shah: You really are crazy. So you re dreaming of a better
world, and you think that the youth are the future. What is your family
name?
(Superintendent Shah pauses to listen.)
Superintendent Shah: Being Your family name is Being. Interesting. And
what is your first name?
(Superintendent Shah pauses to listen.)
Superintendent Shah: Human. Well, listen Mr. Human Being, you re under
arrest for dreaming without a passport.
(Superintendent Shah turns to the of cers.)
Superintendent Shah: Take him away.
(Of cers Johnson, Habib, and Shiblak walk as if behind the camera and the camera
starts to move as if being walked away. It fades to black, then words on the screen read.)
There is always hope, and you can t imprison hope. So dream on,
because hope does not need a passport.

14 Doing Remo e e e Photocopiable Passport for What? by Benjamin Zephaniah