Cleveland State University

EEC 414/503, ESC 720

Writing in Electrical and Computer Engineering

Lecture 7 – Proposals, Letters,

Memos, and Emails
Dan Simon
 Proposals
1. Overview
2. The Proposal Structure and Writing Process
3. Proposal Killers

2
 1. Overview
• A proposal might request:
– Approval for a project (internal)
– Money for a project (internal or external)
• Salary
• Equipment
• Employees
• Travel
– Time for a project (internal)

1. Overview 3
 1. Overview
• What is the risk/reward tradeoff for writing a
proposal?
– Build on your existing strengths
– Expand your area of expertise
– How much time are you willing to invest?
– What is the risk of writing a poor proposal?
– Will you be able to deliver on your promises?

1. Overview 4
 1. Overview
• Write for your specific audience (reviewers)
• Simpler is better
• Balance technical rigor with simplicity
• Some repetition is good (like in other technical
writing)
• Collaborate if possible
• Get preliminary reviews from colleagues

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 5

 Proposals
1. Overview
2. The Proposal Structure and Writing Process
3. Proposal Killers

6
 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

1. Analyze your audience – how much detail?

2. Analyze your purpose – what are you asking?
3. Research
4. Draft
5. Format
6. while true {
proofread
edit }
2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 7
2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

• Proposals need to promise something

– Reports or papers
– Goods or services
• The deliverables are mentioned in the
summary, introduction, and body of the
proposal – repetition is good

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 8

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

A proposal must persuade its readers.

The proposer must:
1.Understand what the reader wants: Responsiveness
2.Know what to do: Goal
3.Know how to do it: Plan
4.Demonstrate competence
5.Make a request for specific resources

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 9

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

(1) Responsiveness: The proposer must

understand what the reader (reviewer) wants
• Study the request for proposals (RFP)
carefully
• Always talk with the requesting organization
before submitting. Non-responsive proposals
waste everyone’s time.
• Get your own peer review before submitting.

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 10

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

(2) Goal: What do you want to accomplish?

•Make your goal clear to your audience
•Be specific in your description
•Goals are high-level, objectives more specific
• Goal: develop flying robotic gnats
• Objectives: (1) develop miniature motors;
(2) develop simulation models; (3) develop motor
controllers; (4) …

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 11

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process
(3) Plan
• How are you going to accomplish your goal?
– Procedures
– Equipment
– Schedule and timeline
– Failure contingencies
• Analyze tradeoffs to your approach, and justify your
decisions
• Preliminary data – you must make an initial
investment to get additional resources (like school!)
2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 12
 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

(4) Competence
• Are you capable of completing the proposal?
– Credentials
– Resources (time, equipment, space, personnel)
– Past performance
– Evaluation plan, including metrics

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 13

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

(5) Resources
• Be specific about your request
– Equipment, salary, travel, etc.
– Don’t pad the budget with excess charges, tasks,
travel, equipment, etc.
– Don’t use round numbers in your budget (in
general)
– Don’t mention money until the budget section

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 14

 2. Proposal Structure and Writing Process

Proposal Outline
• Summary – this is like an extended abstract
• Introduction
– Discuss the problem/opportunity
– Background/literature review
– Summarize your proposal idea and organization
• Plan of work, including timeline
• Qualifications (may be a separate document)
• Budget (may be a separate document)

2. Proposal Structure/Writing Process 15

 Proposals
1. Overview
2. The Proposal Structure and Writing Process
3. Proposal Killers

16
 3. Proposal Killers
1. The research is trivial or is unlikely to produce new or useful
information.
2. The proposed research is based on a hypothesis that rests on
doubtful, unsound or insufficient evidence.
3. The problem is more complex than the author realizes.
4. The problem is local in significance, or otherwise fails to fall
clearly in the mainstream of the discipline.
5. The research is intellectually premature – only a pilot study.

5. Proposal Killers 17
 3. Proposal Killers
6. The research as proposed is overly involved with too many
elements required to be investigated simultaneously.
7. The description of the research leaves the proposal
nebulous, diffuse, and without a clear aim.
8. The proposed methodology, including tests and procedures,
are unsuited to the objective. May be beyond the
competence of the investigator.
9. The overall design is not carefully thought out.
10. Statistical aspects are not given sufficient consideration.
11. Approach lacks imagination or originality.
12. Controls are either inadequately conceived or described.

5. Proposal Killers 18
 3. Proposal Killers
13. Available equipment is unsuited to the research.
14. Investigator does not have experience or training for the
proposed research.
15. Investigator appears to be unfamiliar with pertinent
literature or methods, or both.
16. Investigator's previously published work in the field does not
inspire confidence.
17. Investigator relies too heavily, or insufficiently, on
experienced associates.

5. Proposal Killers 19
 3. Proposal Killers
18. Investigator is spreading himself too thin.
19. Investigator needs more contact with colleagues in this or
related fields.
20. Requirements for equipment, personnel, or time are
unrealistic.
21. Other responsibilities prevent the investigator from devoting
sufficient time to this project.
22. Institutional setting is unfavorable.
23. Current research grants held are adequate in scope and
funding to cover the proposed research.

5. Proposal Killers 20
 3. Proposal Killers
• No white space

• Typos

5. Proposal Killers 21
 Acknowledgments
• Technical Communication, by Mike Markel (Chapter 15)
• Pocket Book of Technical Writing, by Leo Finkelstein
(Chapter 6)
• http://facstaff.gpc.edu/~ebrown/infobr3.htm

22
 Letters, Memos, and Emails
1. Guidelines for Correspondence
2. Letters: most formal
3. Memos: less formal
4. Emails: least formal

Letters, Memos, and Emails 23

 1. Guidelines for Correspondence
1) Know your purpose
“As you requested last week, I am sending results of our
flux capacitor testing …”
“This email explains CSU’s new policy of requiring
publications from graduating seniors …”
2) Know your readers
“This email includes the results of electromagnetic
Geissler sheilding testing using Ca47 isotope separation …”
“This email includes the results of flux capacitor testing.
Flux capacitors can be used to reverse time and …”
“Hey Emmett – check out these flux capacitor test
results. This thing works better than we expected …”
Letters, Memos, and Emails 24
 1. Guidelines for Correspondence
3) Use correct formatting
Specific details will be given later in these slides
Basically, make your correspondence visually appealing
4) Follow the ABCs of good correspondence:
Abstract, Body, Conclusion
We remember what we read last
5) Use the three Cs for persuasion:
Capture, Convince, Contact

Letters, Memos, and Emails 25

 1. Guidelines for Correspondence
6) Focus on the reader, not on yourself
“I believe that my new control algorithm will …”
“You will find that our new control algorithm will …”
“These new guidelines are necessary because our
software in the personnel office …”
“These new guidelines will help us provide you with
better service …”
7) Use attachments for details
Email attachments
Letter attachments
report appendices

Letters, Memos, and Emails 26

 1. Guidelines for Correspondence
8) Be diplomatic
“Failure to submit required reports by Friday will result in
the suspension of all grant activity …”
“Please submit required reports by Friday to avoid
unnecessary suspension of grant activity …”
“I refuse to comply with your request because of your
previous unreasonable demands …”
“Unfortunately, I will not be able to fully comply with your
request because of previous time commitments …”
“Your funding request has been declined.”
“Your request has been declined. However, the next
proposal window is …”
Letters, Memos, and Emails 27
 1. Guidelines for Correspondence
9) Edit carefully
Proofread – even emails!
10) Respond quickly, and give others enough
time to respond

Letters, Memos, and Emails 28

 Letters, Memos, and Emails
1. Guidelines for Correspondence
2. Letters: most formal
3. Memos: less formal
4. Emails: least formal

Letters, Memos, and Emails 29

 2. Letters
• Hard copy, or attached to email
– If attached to email, use PDF if possible

Letters, Memos, and Emails 30

Sample Letter Format
Date, sender name,
return address

Recipient name and

address
Subject line
Salutation (followed by colon)

Body of letter (intro.,

main text, conclusion)

Closing and signature (may include

job title, email address, etc.)

Enclosure information
Information about other recipients

Letters, Memos, and Emails 31

 Letters, Memos, and Emails
1. Guidelines for Correspondence
2. Letters: most formal
3. Memos: less formal
4. Emails: least formal

Letters, Memos, and Emails 32

Sample Memo Format

For inter-office
communication

Similar to letters

Less formal

Use headings to
organize material

Letters, Memos, and Emails 33

 Letters, Memos, and Emails
1. Guidelines for Correspondence
2. Letters: most formal
3. Memos: less formal
4. Emails: least formal

Letters, Memos, and Emails 34

 4. Emails
• Emails comprise the vast majority of business
communication – that’s why it’s so important
to understand email netiquette
• Email is not private

Letters, Memos, and Emails 35

 4. Email is not private
Executive email allowed as evidence

Chevron email used in $2.2 million lawsuit:

“25 reasons why beer is better than women.”

Letters, Memos, and Emails 36

 4. Email is not private
Email from FEMA employee two days after Hurricane
Katrina: “… the situation is past critical … no food or
water … dying patients … deplorable conditions …”

Response from FEMA Chief Michael Brown: “Thanks for

the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?”

(Brown resigned 12 days later)

Letters, Memos, and Emails 37

 4. Emails: Common Problems
• Errors – spelling, punctuation, grammar
• Irony, jokes, spam
• Clicking “send” in the heat of the moment
• Forgetting the subject line (extra important)
• Responding to everyone instead of just the
sender – “reply” vs. “reply all”
• Formatting errors (all caps, no line breaks,
assuming reader has HTML, …)
Letters, Memos, and Emails 38
 4. Emails: Common Problems
• Impersonal: “To Whom it May Concern”
• Unnecessary attachments when replying
• Not including the previous email history
• Subject is too vague
• Using URGENT or IMPORTANT in the subject
• Accidentally hit the “Send” button too soon
• Email is too long

Letters, Memos, and Emails 39

To: Dan Simon
Subject: Urgent! need help!!!
how r u?
i need help designing kalman
filter using flux capacitor
components, pls answer
soon, no one else will help
me!!!!
Letters, Memos, and Emails
To: Dan Simon
Subject: Kalman filter request
Hello Dr. Simon. How are you?
I have recently begun
studying Kalman filters and
their implementation using
flux capacitors. I would
appreciate any information
that you have in this area.
Thanks in advance for your
help.
Regards, Joe B. Student
40
To: Dan Simon To: Dan Simon, Zhiqiang Gao,
Subject: Ethiopian relief Fuqin Xiong, Lili Dong, …
<every other person in your
address book> …
Hi Dr. Simon – I am in your
technical writing class – If Subject: Engineering joke
this email gets forwarded to
1 million people, then This is SO funny! LOL! How
Microsoft has promised to many engineers does it take to
donate $1 million dollars for change a lightbulb? Click here
Ethiopian relief! See below! for the answer! ☺
---------------------------------------
Forwarded message:
Hello! Please forward this
email to 10 of your friends
…
Letters, Memos, and Emails 41
To: Joe Student
Subject: IEEE Officer Vote
Joe, this email is a reminder to
let you know that your IEEE
Officer vote is due by the
end of tomorrow. Since
you’re a Democrat, I know
that it’s important to you to
vote early and often! ☺
Dan
Letters, Memos, and Emails
To: Joe Student
Subject: IEEE Officer Vote
Joe, this email is a reminder to
let you know that your IEEE
Officer vote is due by the
end of tomorrow. I hope to
hear from you soon. Thanks.
Dan
42
To: Dan Simon
Subject: Admission letter
How could you reject my grad
school application, you
stinking bum, you lousy
excuse for a professor!
That’s fine – CSU is a
pathetic school anyway.
You’ll be sorry when I’m a
millionaire and make my
donations to some other
university! SCREW YOU!!!!
P.S. Could you please write me
a recommendation letter?
Letters, Memos, and Emails
To: Dan Simon
Subject: Admission letter
Dr. Simon – I am surprised that
my grad school application
was rejected. My past
academic performance is
good, and I am passionate
about continuing my
education. Could you please
let me know the reasons for
the rejection? Thank you for
your time.
Sincerely, Joe B. Student
43
To: ECE Faculty
From: Dan Simon
Subject: Meeting about email
Colleagues, I am trying to set
up a meeting to discuss the
proper use of email. Please
let me know which of the
following meeting times are
most convenient for you:
Monday 5:00 AM
Wednesday 11:00 PM
Letters, Memos, and Emails
To:c.alexander@ieee.org,p.ch
u@csuohio.edu,L.Dong34@csu
ohio.edu,y.fu@csuohio.edu,z.g
ao@csuohio.edu,m.hizlan@cs
uohio.edu,n.sridhar1@csuohio
.edu,a.stankovic@csuohio.edu
,f.villaseca@csuohio.edu,f.xion
g@csuohio.edu,s.yau@csuohi
o.edu,c.yu91@csuohio.edu,we
nbingz@acm.org,y.zhu61@csu
ohio.edu
Dan, both times are fine for
me.
44
 To: ECE Faculty
To: ECE Faculty From: Dan Simon
Subject: Meeting about email
From: Dan Simon
Colleagues, I am trying to set up a meeting to discuss the
Subject: EMAIL MEETING proper use of email. Please let me know which of the
following meeting times are most convenient for you:
Monday 5:00 AM or Wednesday 11:00 PM. The rules of
email etiquette are not "rules" in the sense that I will
COLLEAGUES, I AM TRYING TO come after you if you don't follow them. They are
guidelines that help avoid mistakes (like offending
SET UP A MEETING TO someone when you don't mean to) and
misunderstandings (like being offended when you're not
DISCUSS THE PROPER USE meant to). These core rules of email etiquette help us
communicate better via email. It is amazing to find
OF EMAIL. PLEASE LET ME that in this day and age, some companies have still
not realized how important their email
KNOW WHICH OF THE communications are. Many companies send email
replies late or not at all, or send replies that do not
FOLLOWING MEETING actually answer the questions you asked. If your
company is able to deal professionally with email,
TIMES ARE MOST this will provide your company with that all important
competitive edge. Moreover by educating
CONVENIENT FOR YOU: employees as to what can and cannot be said in an
email, you can protect your company from awkward
MONDAY 5:00 AM OR liability issues. This website discusses the main
etiquette rules and provides advice on how
WEDNESDAY 11:00 PM employers can ensure that they are implemented.

Letters, Memos, and Emails 45

To: Dan Simon To: Dan Simon
Subject: internship Subject: internship

To whom it may concern: I am Dr. Simon, I am seeking a

seeking a summer summer internship in the
internship. Attached please area of robotics. Attached
find my resume. please find my resume.
Thanks for your time, and I
hope to hear from you
soon.

Sincerely, Joe B. Student

Letters, Memos, and Emails 46

To: Joe B. Student To: Dan Simon
Subject: paper reviews Subject: Re: paper reviews

Hi Joe – I’ve attached 12 Dr. Simon, I will get my reviews

papers to this email that I to you in the next day or so.
would like you to review
and summarize for me. Try Sincerely, Joe B. Student
to get this done by the end
Attachments: Paper1.pdf,
of the week. Thanks.
Paper2.pdf, …

Dan Simon
Attachments: Paper1.pdf,
Paper2.pdf, …

Letters, Memos, and Emails 47

To: Joe B. Student To: Dan Simon
Subject: research results Subject: Re: research results

Joe, I have some questions Dr. Simon,

about your research results.
1. Are the results averages or The answers to your questions
from a single run? are yes, no, and I don’t
2. Have you considered the know.
effects of special relativity
on your calculations? Joe B. Student
3. How does your work relate
to flux capacitor design?

Letters, Memos, and Emails 48

 Acknowledgments
• Technical Communication, by Mike Markel (Chapter 14)
• Technical Communication, by William Pfeiffer and Kaye Adkins
(Chapter 5)
• Pocket Book of Technical Writing, by Leo Finkelstein
(Chapter 18)
• A Guide to Writing as an Engineer, by David Beer and David
McMurrey (Chapter 4)
• Technical Communication in the Twenty-First Century, by
Sidney Dobrin et al. (Chapter 12)
• www.emailreplies.com
• email.about.com

Letters, Memos, and Emails 49