Understanding Communication

The Value of Communication Communication is a fundamental characteristic of every human being. It is the manner by which all of us, from the youngest to the oldest, exchange information. The information is any and all data that we carry in our psyche that has been gathered, collected, acquired, how we feel, think and experienced from early childhood into the present. Communication is how we let someone know what we feel, need, want, desire, expect, dream about, wish for, etc. Generally speaking, communication is the exchange of information, feelings as well as facts, between two or more people. Communication happens at many levels. It covers a range of information from general topics or ideas to intimate conversations between two people or within a group. Communication is specific to the circumstances, environment, people, locale, etc. For instance, if a person works at factory that makes widgets, the main topic of conversation may revolve around widgets. This does not mean that the people working at the factory will only talk about widgets, to the exclusion of all other topics, such as family and hobbies, etc., but their conversations may primarily revolve around widgets. Therefore, communication is usually contextual, even when information is being exchanged within a group. The framework for this discussion on communication is the work and experiences that occurs within a Caregiving Team by members, between members and care partners, life experiences of each person, how these are used in the Team, and how these experiences are changing them. In a conversation we communicate why, who, how, what, where and when of our everyday lives and circumstances.

Between Two Individuals As long as communication is held between individuals who are familiar with one anothers story, then the conversation may have a particular meaning due to the familiarity of the parties and the assumptions they bring to the conversation. The information exchanged may or may not be clarified or explained to the mutual satisfaction of all parties and they may respond in one of two ways.

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They will develop their own interpretations/assumptions which may give rise to misunderstandings and disconnectedness. They will continue to discuss, reflect, and clarify until an understanding has been established to the satisfaction of all parties. For example, this conversation between three good friends took place and it illustrates the assumptions they made and the clarification that took place once they met. Three women Nina, Stacy, and Barbara were arranging to have dinner together. Earlier in the day Nina & Stacy had this conversation: Nina is thinking of a particular restaurant called Benjis, the three met there for lunch in July. But, Nina can only think of the B and that the restaurant is on Dunstan Street and says, Stacy, are we meeting at BJs or JBs. You know that place we all went to eat in July? Stacy says, Yes, I remember the place. Ill call Barbara and tell her we are meeting at BJs at 6:30. Nina says, Ok, see you then. At 5:30, Nina decides to get a map to the restaurant and realizes that it is called Benjis so she calls Barbara and leaves a message saying, Im on my way to Benjis. This is where we are having dinner right? Call me if this is not the place. Just as Nina is getting ready to leave the office and meet her friends, Barbara calls her and says, Nina, we are meeting at BJs, the one that is on Hwy 6. Nina is baffled because she thought Stacy had understood that it was Benjis where they were going to meet. At BJs! I thought we were going to meet at Benjis! Oh, shoot, I better get out of here. As it is, I may be late, just wait for me. A few minutes later, as Nina is on her way, Stacy calls and confirms that it is BJs on Hwy 6 and I-59 where they are having dinner. Nina arrives about 15 minutes late, and the three friends end up having dinner at BJs and spend a couple of hours talking, eating, and sharing. During the conversation, Stacy admits that when she was talking to Nina earlier about where they would meet, she had been thinking of Benjis but, quite unconsciously, she said BJs, a restaurant that is much closer to her house.

Within a Group

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Within groups of three or more, communication becomes a bit more complicated because they are exchanging knowledge, experiences, advice, commands, and questions, and all of the information exchanged will come from different experiences. Therefore, it is vitally important that members of a Caregiving Team, when communicating a thought or idea know that one . . . Will be heard. Can be comfortable expressing thoughts and ideas without fear of ridicule or condescension. Is valued and gifts are appreciated. Is respected.

Methods of Communication Communication takes place between individuals when a message is conveyed from a sender to a receiver. The message will be delivered either verbally (does not mean only orally) or non-verbally. Verbal communication requires that people use words. These words constitute the message and the message can be delivered by different media; paper, email, phone, billboard, etc. Non-verbal communication does not require words. This can be overt facial expressions, physical movements, color, shapes, sounds, etc. Examples are. . . A police officer blowing his whistle and using his hands to direct traffic. The Red Cross symbol Traffic lights and signs like Stop and Yield Indirect channels of communication are body language (which may reflect inner emotions and contradict actual delivered message) and inner feelings such as intuition, hunches, or premonitions. Example: Posture, arms crossed and legs crossed, may be a signal that communicates stay away or Im not listening

Barriers Against Effective Communication Extreme emotions, such as anger, frustration, uncontrollable crying, will hinder effective communication. The receiver may misinterpret, misunderstand, and be offended and hurt by the tone and manner of the person. Filters, such as cultural norms, personal code of ethics, preconceived ideas, prejudices, etc., are always in place when giving and receiving information. To

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make certain that the message given is understood appropriately, the receiver ought to repeat the message. Information overload happens when too much communication is delivered on the same topic. The message becomes overwhelming. The receiver is then forced to process and sort through the barrage of information and may arrive at different conclusions than what the sender intended. Defensiveness because someone feels threatened or at a disadvantage. When this happens, the person instead of admitting his or her discomfort will respond defensively. Cultural differences and jargon may be barriers to effective communication. For instance, people in the Rocky Mountain area when speaking on the phone may say Im going to park you and it means putting a person on hold. In the northeast people may say youse all and it is the same as yall in Texas. In pop culture, cool means ok and bad or hot means good. People who text message on cell phones or instant message on computers use abbreviations such as, bffbest friends forever, omg-oh, my God, lol-laugh out loud, and 2nit-tonight. Language and hearing loss can also be barriers to effective communication.

Overcoming Barriers to Effective Communication Simplify In any form of written communication such as letters, memos, email, etc., simple sentences and vocabulary will be more effective. Active listening It means that the one receiving the information focuses on what the sender is saying. Active listening includes the receivers physical posture, facial expression, movement, and reflecting or repeating the message to the sender. Feedback asking questions and or summarizing what the sender said to make certain that the message was understood as intended. If the sender wants to be certain that the message was understood as one intended, then s/he must ask questions and have the receiver repeat the message.

Related Modules: Generous Listening

Written by Nora Gonzalez

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